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Michael set down her book with a sigh. The light pouring underneath the doorway was making the words blur and melt across the page. He could ask his menu to dim his vision, but what was the point? He’d been drifting in and out of focus the whole night. It was Sean, of course it was Sean. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t just let go of him. He was different in a way, and incompetent. And constantly did things seemingly just to get their attention or to annoy them. It wasn’t his fault that she was so.. Careless. People got hurt that way. Sean knew that. They all did. It was stupid of her to think so little about her decisions. But she was the one to walk with him back to his office from meetings when he was half asleep, and the one to sit by him while talking about her patient, and the one who offered to listen to him when he was upset. She had always been there for him. Hardly anyone noticed Michael at work, and the ones who did actively disliked him. It wasn’t a problem. They were all insignificant and obnoxious. But Sean, even if they got on her nerves, they were.. Important. Their work ethic was horrible, and they couldn’t be trusted to do basic paperwork. They consistently ignored her instructions. They were going to get in trouble one of these days, and probably soon. But they were nice. They cared. They trusted her, and honestly, it was a relief. She was trying, trying so hard, to trust him in the same way, even though he knew he did things differently and it sent a wave of dread through her to think of all the things he could mess up. But she was trying for him. She had to. She really.. cared about him. She didn't still love him, no. She wasn't supposed to, she couldn't, she just.. She just wanted someone to rely on, and it was difficult being alone. And it was easy to get caught up in all that and… They got up from their chair. This was unproductive at best. They needed to do something, to get out of this stupid room. A distraction. As their door creaked open, they felt a familiar pull towards Sean’s room… Well. That would probably just make their overthinking worse. But what else was there to do? And it would be nice to talk to them again.
Down the cold, glowing corridor to their room, moving around in her little bubble, Michael wanted badly to turn back around. This was stupid. He hadn’t even fully thought this through. What were they going to think when he showed up out of nowhere? But he kept moving forward despite his growing doubt. As she knocked on the door to his patient center, she was strongly considering walking away when the door opened.
“Heyy, Mikey! What’re you doing here?” Sean smirked at him, standing in the doorway. He stared at the floor dryly.
“I… Nothing.” Fuck, she was terrible at this. It was a horrible idea to come here. He racked his brain for something to say. “How’s.. work?”
“I know you’re here for a reason. What do ya want now??” he prompted, his tone softer by a barely noticeable degree.
“Yeah. I don’t know. I was just.. I was thinking too much about stuff.” Michael winced almost as punctuation at each word that came out of his mouth. Why was this so difficult? Sean grinned.
“Well, if ya wanna talk about it…” He purposefully let his sentence trail off. “Or we could do somethin’ fun!”
In hardly the time it had taken her to say it, Sean had brought him down to the S*n’s residential area. The buildings with their lights still on emitted a fuzzy warm light that enveloped the city, the shimmering stars less bright but equally as comforting. Flowers bloomed in dusty chipped pots and the cracks in the sidewalk. Sean smiled at Michael, hands on her hips.
“Ta-da!! I figured we could come down here cause it's really pretty at night.” There was something familiar about the light surrounding them, something nostalgic and a little lonely. Michael sat down on a curb under the shadow of a silent house. Sean didn't hesitate to join him. The sidewalk was cold under their feet.
“Yeah. It's really nice,” Michael admitted. “Are we allowed to be here??”
“Yeah, lots a operators check in on old patients from time to time. It's cool.”
“Okay, good. I just don't wanna get in trouble.”
“I get that. I'd tell you if we were going somewhere we weren't supposed to.”
“Or we just. Don't do that.”
“Mmm. But where's the fun in that??”
“The fun in keeping your job.”
“Boringg,” Sean scoffed, grinning at him. Michael sighed, his tone suddenly sharpening.
“It's not a joke, Sean.”
“Hey.You know I didn't mean it like that.”
“Yeah. Sorry, I'm just..” He trailed off. Sean looked at him. The two sat in silence for a few seconds.
“Don't worry about it,” Sean said definitively. “Hey, while we're here, do you wanna dance? Pretty nice night for it.”
“What? Uhh.. I guess?” Michael agreed after a stunned pause. Sean swiftly got to her feet and offered him her hand. Oh. Was she really doing this? With him, out of all people? He was staring down at her expectantly. Ignoring the anxiety welling up in his chest, she grabbed his hand. It was warm and felt nice and Michael was going to murder him. This was such a bad idea. Her train of thought instantly fucking crashed, killing all the passengers.
“Uhh. I don’t.. Know how to dance,” she muttered. Oh god, this was going terribly already.
“That’s fine! I can show you!” He smiled and Michael’s eyes caught on the way his glass glinted in the moonlight.
“...Thanks.”
Sean closed her eyes for a few seconds and an old record player appeared on the curb where they’d just been. She let go of Michael’s hand to play something, and Michael already felt her absence. This was a bad idea. This was a mistake. This was completely unprofessional and idiotic. As if sensing their worries, Sean turned around cheerily.
“Got it!” A soft voice seeped into the air.
I’ve never been in love before
Now all at once it’s you,
It’s you forever more…
Sean grabbed their hands once more. Fuck. They stumbled foolishly behind him as he dragged them underneath a hazy streetlamp. Of course Sean was like this. So fucking dramatic to turn this into an opportunity to dance. Her heart was beating incredibly fast.
I’ve never been in love before
I thought my heart was safe
I thought I knew the score
Sean smiled quietly.
“So I put a hand on your shoulder and you put a hand on mine and we just kinda.. Move back in forth?” He shrugged.
But this is why
It’s all too strange and strong
I’m full of foolish song, and out my song must pour
They slowly circled around each other in the half-darkness of the sleeping city.
So please forgive this helpless haze I’m in
I’ve really never been
In love
Before
Michael felt her face heating up as Sean’s smile grew more genuine and their eyes grew softer. They were so.. They were so fucking sweet and gentle when they wanted to be, and they were funny and always knew exactly what to say and she.. liked them. She really did. Why did she come here again? What was she worried about? She couldn’t bring herself to think about anything other than their face. That stupid fucking hourglass. Oh, god. She was hit with the sudden realization that she wanted to kiss them.
The song continued to play. The light continued to shine. And Sean twirled around, forcing Michael to spin with them. As the music ended, Sean looked into her eyes as if there was a question that he was hesitant to ask aloud. Michael looked back, wide eyed and awestruck and really fucking nervous, and almost imperceptibly, she nodded.
Sean took Michael’s hands. Looking up at them, he gently kissed the side of their face, inches away from their mouth, and then slowly drew away. Holy shit. Michael could feel the blush on her face deepen as she stared at her. Drawing a blank on what to say or think, she held onto their hand tighter.
“Whoah,” she murmured softly. The smile Sean gave her hid a hint of nervousness now.
“I wanted ta do that for a while.”
“Yeah, I.. Um. You’re really pretty and nice and I’m sorry I’ve been so defensive lately.” The words came out of his mouth in a long, slightly panicked string.
“Yeah. You’re a fuckin loser,”she smirked.
“Uh- fuck you,” he responded. They both sat back on the curb and Michael reached for Sean’s hand. She took it and leaned against him in response
“Glad I got to see ya again,” She confided. “I.. really missed you, y'know??”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “I missed you too. I was just.. scared to talk to you because I didn't wanna mess anything up.”
“I kinda felt the same.”
“I’m really sorry about the way I left things. When I broke up with you.. I didn't really give you an explanation. And you deserve one,” he said, closing his eyes. Sean looked at her feet.
“Yeah, ya never really told me why. I dunno, it kind of felt like you just hated me all of a sudden.” Michael turned over to her quickly.
“What?? No, of course not. Sean…” He sighed. “I never hated you. I was scared. I was scared that I would lose you, and I was scared because I loved you so much and I didn't know what to do. It's.. I don't exactly like getting attached to people. It's nice for a while, but when things go downhill it's so much worse than if you'd never known them at all. But.. I don't know, I think it's worth it, if it's you.”
“Mikey.. Thank you,” she said softly.
“..Yeah,” he answered, holding his free hand close to his chest.
“I do think you shoulda told me that sooner, but I understand, and I forgive you.” She forgave him. After everything. The feeling hit him like a dose of painkillers kicking in; he really, really loved them. This was so fucking stupid. He was acting so fucking stupid. But it was nice. It would be nice if they could just.. go back to what they had before. What if he asked?? Oh god, that'd turn out horribly. He couldn't ask them that. It just.. wouldn't be fair. It could make them uncomfortable, or ruin what friendship they had. But they had kissed her, hadn't they? That had to mean something. Still, it'd be too big of a chance to take. But what if they said yes?
“Mikey? Are you okay?” Sean was looking at her. She had been squeezing his hand too tight and she didn't even notice until now. She quickly let it go.
“Um.. Yeah. Can I ask you something?”
“What?” He looked at her quizzically. Her heart beat so, so fast. This was gonna be horrible. She felt as if she was drowning, or suffocating.
“I was just gonna ask.. if you'd want to be my partner again?” Fuck. Why was she acting like this?? It was idiotic to make a decision with so little forethought. And one with such important consequences. But it was done, she’d said it and she couldn’t take it back. Sean’s eyes widened.
“Of fucking course I’ll be your partner. What kinda question is that?” He took her hand again and she looked at him, stunned. “I.. really like you. If ya couldn’t tell.” Michael released the breath she didn’t know she was holding.
“...Yeah,” she murmured. She wanted to stay like this for just a second longer. Crickets began to chirp, the sound jumping at them underneath the hazy sky. “Thank you. I’m.. Glad you said yes. I wasn’t sure.”
“Mikey.. ya know you’re the best person I know, right? I love you,” she murmured. Oh, he had missed her so much.
“I.. love you too.”
“God, I’m so fuckin happy I actually get to be with you again.”
“Yeah,” she sighed softly. “This is so nice.”
“I love you.”
“You already said that, stupid.”
“I want ya to know I mean it,” she answered.
“I do.”
“Good.” They smiled at each other.
“It’s getting kinda late. Do ya think we should head back?” she asked. Looking at his watch, Michael realized it was nearing midnight. Sleep wasn’t necessary in the afterlife but most operators took nighttime as a way to do their own things without disturbance. Plus, it was a bad idea to leave operation rooms for too long lest patients get killed in that span of time- although they would get a notification on their watches to come back if that was the case. Charger Block died practically every two minutes, so there was a chance she’d be needed back there tonight. Michael sighed. It would’ve been nice to spend a bit longer with Sean. But it was incredibly nice to get to spend time with him at all. Reluctant to respond, she nodded. Sean stood up and pulled her towards him. They walked hand in hand out of the quiet neighborhood.
They reached Sean’s room pretty quick. When they got out Michael let go of their hand with reluctance and stood in the doorway. He wanted to stay with them so badly. It’d be rude to ask, and impractical.
“You should stay later! We could hang out in my room for a bit,” Sean asked. Michael could feel herself smiling at the thought and Sean clearly noticed too. They grinned at her and leaned against the inside of the doorframe. Against everything her heart was screaming, she bitterly shook her head, frowning.
“What if my patient dies while I’m gone? I should get back.”
“Mikey, you’ll be finee! You can always rush over if your watch starts makin noise,” they said. “Please? You don’t have ta if you really don’t wanna. But I think it’d be nice.” It wasn’t like he needed convincing, and her permission put him at ease. He took a breath.
“Okay.” He hesitantly stepped into the room.
Sean’s patient center was surprisingly clean. The walls were a cozy lavender and the room was scattered with filing cabinets and electronics. There were some decorations too, just an album cover and a few cassette tapes adorning the otherwise bare wall. The way it had changed from the last time he’d visited made it feel both novel and comfortable. Sean, of course, was already halfway across the room.
“Whaddya wanna do!!”
“Uh.. I don’t know,” he replied.
“We should watch The Bee Movie.”
“Dude, what the actual fuck is wrong with you,” he scoffed. She leaned against a chair.
“Ya like jazz?”
“Oh my god you’re so fucking stupid.” It was a sign of how badly he loved him that he found his jokes endearing rather than foolish.
“No more than you.”
“Sean. The Bee Movie is the furthest thing from cool I have seen in my life.”
“You’re the furthest thing from cool I’ve seen in my life.”
“Fuck off.”
“MMm.. Nahh. I like messing with ya,” She smiled.
“Really though. What are we going to do?”
“Hmm. We could bake something? If ya want.”
“What’s the point? You could just ask your menu to make you something.”
“It’s kinda fun. I like making stuff myself, y’know? Plus, it tastes way better made by hand!”
“So what are we baking?”
“I dunno! What kinda stuff do ya like?”
“I don’t really know. Eating is pretty useless here, isn’t it?”
“Yeah but almost everyone does it. You really don't have a favorite food?”
“Nope,” she shook her head. It wasn't that odd. Plenty of people didn't really eat here.
“We should make one of mine! I'm pretty good at making it already.”
“What is it?”
“Red velvet cake. I know it's almost the same as chocolate, but it just tastes so much better.”
“Sure. Are you gonna get the ingredients?”
“Yep!!” He closed his eyes for a few seconds and a series of baking utensils and food items fell onto his desk. “I guess we need a place to put everything too.”
An entire fucking kitchen set with a fridge, counter, and stove materialized in the middle of the already full room.
“Perfect!” Sean grabbed the supplies in one armful and brought them over. Michael followed behind her.
“Uhh.. How do we do this?” They asked.
“Just follow me! It’s pretty easy, I've got the measurements memorized.”
“You bake that much?” That was interesting. They actually didn’t know many of his hobbies..
“When I feel like it.” He shrugged. “Let’s get started!” It was as easy as he’d said. They measured and mixed the ingredients together and the mess filled the little kitchen and cake batter got on both of them and neither really cared in the moment. Michael found the instructions from Sean and rhythm of movement oddly comforting. She whisked the batter until all the clumps of batter were smoothed out.
“Not bad,” they commented.
“Thanks,” she smiled. “You’re really good at this, actually.”
“Thanks!! Gimme the batter, it’s ready to go in the tray.” She silently slid the bowl across the counter and they poured it into the baking tray. They licked the spoon and smiled. “Tastes great already.”
“Sean. That’s disgusting. There’s raw egg in there.”
“It’s fine. Not like I’m gonna get sick.”
“Okay, but it’s gross.”
“Picky. Raw batter is a perfectly acceptable food.”
“There is so much wrong with everything you’re saying,” he said, shaking his head.
“You’ll take it back when you taste the cake.”
“Which I won’t ever get to do if you don’t put the cake in the fucking oven.”
“Oh yeah,” they realized. They shoved the tray into the oven with their bare hands. “Now we gotta wait for thirty minutes.”
“This is so time consuming.”
“It’ll be over pretty quick, trust me,” they shrugged. “We can watch a show while we wait, if ya want.”
“Sure.” Sean grabbed his hand and dragged him over to the couch. They held the remote and pondered.
“Hmm. You probably watch boring shit like the moon landing or something so I’m not even asking. We’re watching Mean Girls.”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“Dude, you literally make zero sense.”
“Yeah, whatever. Let's just watch the movie,” she shrugged. They sat down and Sean pulled the checkered blanket from the edge of the loveseat. Michael grabbed a corner and found that it was fluffy and warm, the way it would feel fresh out of the dryer. He pulled the blanket around himself and drew closer to Sean. She grinned at him and put her arm around him. This was so cozy. He felt himself leaning into her.
“Wanna cuddle?”
“Mmm. Yeah,” he smiled at her. They moved around until they were facing each other, pulling the blanket over themselves. Sean wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer.
“You're cold,” they laughed. They were holding him so tight. He felt like a cat basking in the sun, so completely content.
“Can you even see the movie?”
“Nope. I can see your pretty face, though.”
“Shut up,” he murmured, lazily smiling at them. “You're so lame.” He closed his eyes. It wouldn't be long until sleep took him. He drifted off, the blanket trapping him in her warmth.
They woke up to the smell of burning. Sean blinked at them, still struggling to open his eyes, as they sat up.
“Do you smell that?”
“Smells like burnin- Oh fuck.” They both turned to the messy countertop. The cake had seemingly caught fire inside of the oven.. and unfortunately, the slightest corner of a rag had also been trapped in the oven door.
“Sean. Is that a gas stove.”
“Yes?”
KAPOWWW EXPLOSION EMOJI EXPLOSION EMOJI. With a wave of heat the stove fucking exploded and they both died. ghe end