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i wanna tell you but the words get in my way

Summary:

“What are you doing?”

“I’m flying to Italy to stop this wedding.”

“Woah, woah. Let’s just back up a couple thousand steps. Have you thought about maybe, I don’t know, talking to Mirabella?”

OR: A Lovestruck: The Musical Fix-It

Notes:

DAY 22: Reopening (Old) Wounds

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“What are you doing?”

Harper looks up at Amanda with tense fury. “I’m flying to Italy to stop this wedding.”

“Woah, woah," Amanda says, grabbing Harper's arm. "Let’s just back up a couple thousand steps. Have you thought about maybe, I don’t know, talking to Mirabella?”

“She won’t listen."

“And why exactly should she? I’m putting my career on the line right now knowing you won’t actually fire me because you are completely useless without me, but you don’t exactly make it easy for Mirabella to listen to you.”

Her head snaps to Amanda. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“You can’t seriously think that she wants this. I mean, this is practically screaming ‘this is your dream, not mine’ and has since the beginning.”

“Then why didn’t you say something?”

“I will reiterate. You are my boss. You hold my career in your spindly claws.”

Harper falls into a chair, hand on her forehead. “It was that obvious? That she didn’t want to do this? And I didn’t notice.”

“It’s what you wanted for her.”

“And apparently not what she wanted.”

“I think that maybe you should talk to her. Instead of tracking her down in Italy and crashing the wedding she just said you’re not invited to.”

Harper glares at Amanda. “Thank you for the kind reminder.”

“Sorry.”

“No, you’re right." She nods slowly. "I need to, to put aside my pride and admit that I… I haven’t been very good at actually listening to what Mirabella wants.”

Which is how Harper finds herself at Mirabella’s door, nearly getting trampled in the doorway when Mirabella tries to storm out with her suitcase in hand.

“You packed quickly.”

Mirabella shoots her a flat look. “I was already packed.”

“So you’ve had this planned. For a while. And you didn’t think to tell me?”

“I didn’t think you’d want to hear it and make me stay.”

“Of course I’d make you stay! The show—”

“The show!" Mirabella snaps. "It’s always about a show or a tour or some other performance that keeps you busy and your face on a billboard.”

“That’s not what this is about!"

“Oh yeah? Then what’s it about?”

“The show opens in two weeks, Mirabella. Do you understand that? This isn’t just about you or me. This is about the rest of the cast, the crew, the investors, everyone who has put their careers on the line for this show. You are the face of this show and you have been the face of this show, and want it or not, that is the responsibility that has been placed on you. You don’t want to do the full run? Okay! You’ll debut and then we’ll replace you with you with your understudy. Ariella is an incredibly talented young woman and is more than capable of and deserving to take over the role. But you are on those posters. Your name is in every article advertising this show. And if we open without you, if you drop out two weeks before the show opens, then this production doesn’t have a chance.”

“I didn’t realize…”

“I know you didn’t. Which is why I’m telling you. So, don’t do this for me. Do this for your fellow cast members and the crew and production team. Everyone else who has been putting their hearts into this show even if you haven’t. I know you’ve never cared about reputation but if you do this, this will be your legacy for the rest of your life. If you had already planned your wedding to conflict with this show, then that is on you. Because you’ve known this schedule. You’ve known these dates. And if you’re doing it to spite me, then that is just plain immature and irresponsible. And if you thought you could just drop out scott free, then you simply don’t understand how this works.”

Mirabella takes in her words with a clenched jaw and watery eyes.”Mom—”

“And sweetie. Even if I’m not Marco’s biggest fan, nor am I a fan of the things you do for and because of him, I will support you. You’re my daughter. All I’ve ever wanted was the best for you and I know I didn’t go about it in the right way. I know that I’ve… I’ve wanted to give you what I thought was best and I haven’t given you the chance to show me what would be best for you. No, that’s not on you. I haven’t not put forth the efforts to learn who it is you are and what you want. I love you, pumpkin, and if you don’t want me at your wedding, then I won’t be there. But don’t let this ruin the rest of our lives. I want to be there for you. I want to be there when you and Marco have a family. I want to be there on the holidays and to be there to babysit, but of course, first I need to give Marco the proper shovel talk.”

“Mom.”

“After your father… I wasn’t the same after that. And we let the divorce impact you in ways that were not fair on you. And that’s on us. And though I can’t change the past or make up for what I’ve done, I will do everything now that I should have done before. I want to change, Mirabella, for you. For us.”

Mirabella falls into Harper’s arms and Harper hugs her tightly. 

“Oh, I’ve got you.” She rubs circles into Mirabella’s back and bites back her own tears. 

“I’ll stay for the show,” Mirabella says. “At least for the open. We can… we can stage an injury or come up with a cover story—”

“It really doesn’t need those dramatics,” Harper says. “You’ve just got a limited run. It’s pretty common nowadays. A stunt cast. Sure, people may point out the nepotism in your casting but there are worse things to be called.”

Mirabella laughs tearily. “I want us to change too, Mom. I’d like that a lot. And you can come to my wedding. I mean, of course you can. I’m sorry for even—”

“Don’t be sorry,” Harper says. “You’re young and you… you had every right to say what you said.”

“No I didn’t. I… I feel like I’ve been acting like a petulant child and I didn’t even consider you… or any of this.”

“You’re still young. And you may not be a child but you’ve still got a lot to learn.” 

“What am I going to do about the wedding?” she whispers. 

“We can have Ariella go on while you’re gone. Ease her into the role as a swing before she’s a principle. But let’s not worry about that right now. Tell me about Marco.”

Mirabella lights up. “Oh, Mom. I love him. I really do.”

“How did you meet?” 

Mirabella leads Harper to her couch, setting her suitcase by the door, sitting beside her mom and grabbing her hands with a lovestruck grin. “Oh, you won’t believe this, but it started when the two of us were…”

Notes:

this was so cathartic to write you have no idea. i love this movie musical so much and i can't believe it's on HULU PLUS now.

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