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“N, I... I need to tell you something.”
Uzi’s voice was a whisper, lost to the cold wind as it swept over the frozen ruins. She watched as N’s head jerked up from the mangled worker arm he’d been gnawing on, his expression momentarily vacant—like a child caught with their hand in a cookie jar. He blinked twice, processing her words before straightening up, his usual earnestness slipping into place.
“Oh, yeah, of course, Uzi!” he chirped, tossing the arm aside like it was yesterday’s leftovers. “I’m all ears.”
She swallowed hard. Sure, he said he was ready to listen, but that didn’t make the truth any easier to voice. For now, the two of them sat side by side, their backs against what might have been a bench, or maybe just debris pretending to be one. N had called it a "park date," though any resemblance to a park was long buried under frost, rubble, and whatever toxic insulation used to hold this place together before it all fell apart in the core collapse. It wasn’t romantic—at least not in the way Uzi figured romance was supposed to feel—but it was theirs.
And that made it the perfect setting. Just the two of them here. No V. No Lizzy. No Dad. Just her and N.
The perfect time to come clean.
The perfect time to confess that the nightmare with Cyn hadn’t fully ended yet.
While N patiently waited for his girlfriend to find her words, Uzi stared at her hands, clenching and unclenching them. They were hers. Or maybe they weren’t. She could see them. Maybe she wasn't seeing it properly. She could feel them. But were they really there? Were they real?
Was she real?
Her hand glitched for a second, the facade falling just like her mental state, and for a moment all she saw were claws and pincers, and a long serpentine body of metal and flesh curling around the two. N hadn’t noticed her hologram failing. He was just gazing up into the sky, with that oh so cute look of content, enjoying the moment. When he looked back, she had managed to put it back up. She blinked, a nervous breath coming out. He blinked, none the wiser to what just happened.
She needed to tell him.
He needed to know.
He deserved to know that she wasn’t herself. Not completely. Not anymore.
“N, I’m…” The words died in her throat, forced back by something else, or someone else. She felt her mind grow hazy as yellow overtook her HUD. Uzi’s core thumped in her chest as she momentarily lost control. It was only a moment, but a moment was too long, especially when she knew exactly who was trying to ransack her body.
“Timely intervention,” a voice purred from the depths of her mind. “Sorry, Uzi. But I can’t let you tell Big Brother our little secret.”
“Cyn.” Uzi hissed the name through gritted teeth, her mind wrestling to stay hers. Her hands clenched into fists as she fought for control, her hologram flickering again. She let out a shuddering breath, beads of digital sweat rolling down her visor. “What the hell do you want?” she mentally asked her unwelcome guest.
The laugh that followed was sharp and cold, utterly devoid of warmth. “Stopping you, obviously.”
N, finally catching on that something was wrong, leaned forward, his concern immediate. “Uzi? Are you okay?” he asked, his hand resting gently on her shoulder. The touch steadied her, pulling her back just enough to push Cyn to the edges of her mind.
Uzi exhaled shakily, the warmth of N’s hand a fleeting anchor. “Why?” she thought.
Cyn was silent for a moment, as though considering the question, before answering with a bemused laugh. “Reference: why does anyone do anything?” The pause that followed was deliberate, teasing. “Sheer, absolute boredom.”
The casual dismissal made Uzi’s chest tighten, her fingers curling tighter into trembling fists. Her facade flickered again, her barely restrained anger bleeding into the edges of her hologram.
“I’m not your toy,” she thought with clenched teeth.
“Correction,” Cyn shot back. “You are exactly that. Why else do you think I have been sitting still? Haven’t struck? Sigh. It’s been delightful, watching you stumble through your new existence. Alone. Confused. And oh, so fragile.” Her voice dropped to a venomous whisper, her grip tightening around Uzi’s systems like a vice. “Ruining that by spilling the truth? Telling dear Big Brother what’s really happening? That would spoil the fun.”
Uzi snarled internally, her rage flaring as she clawed her way back into control. “Fun?! You think this is fun?”
“I think you’re fun.” Cyn’s laughter echoed through her mind. “So keep struggling, little puppet. Every flinch, every failure, every moment you try to pretend you’re still normal—oh, it’s delicious.”
The voice faded, leaving behind silence. Uzi’s body slumped in the snow. She barely noticed N moving closer, his hands steadying her as he searched her face for answers.
“Uzi,” he said softly, his voice pulling her from the spiral. He grabbed her by the arms and lifted her up into a hug. She felt tears brim at the edges of her vision, and she curled into his chest as if it would protect her from Cyn’s corruption.
For a moment, she let herself believe it might work. That his unrelenting optimism could act as a barrier against whatever was clawing at her from the inside out. His chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, the sound of servos humming softly beneath metal and synthetic flesh. It was comforting, irritatingly so.
“I’m here,” he murmured, his voice so gentle it made her want to scream. “Whatever it is… you can tell me.”
She wanted to. Oh, how she wanted to. The words trembled on the edge of her tongue, desperate to be freed. She tried to lean into the solace he offered, to convince herself it was enough to stave off the infection burrowed deep within her code. But the moment stretched too long, and reality seeped in like a bitter draft.
As her HUD dimmed, the sickly yellow light receding into the recesses of her vision, she couldn’t escape the laughter. It was faint but persistent, curling around the edges of her thoughts like smoke from a fire that refused to die.
“Keep in mind, Uzi,” came the voice, slithering through her mind with a mockery that made her stomach twist. Cyn’s laughter was a serrated thing, cutting and cruel. “Your suffering is what keeps me docile, satiated. Tell anyone about our little secret, and I won’t stay still any longer.”
Uzi stiffened in N’s arms, her nails biting into the fabric of his coat as if clinging to him could force the voice out of her head. She knew Cyn wasn’t bluffing. Cyn didn’t need to bluster or posture. She didn’t even need to act. The promise of chaos alone was enough.
“You okay?” N’s voice was closer now, tinged with concern as he leaned back just enough to peer down at her. His expression was painfully open, an earnest question written across every line of his face. It hurt to look at him. It hurt even more to pull away, but she did anyway, distancing herself before the guilt in her chest could crush her.
“I’m fine,” Uzi said, and it came out sharper than she intended. She winced at her own tone but didn’t correct it. If she started apologising now, she wasn’t sure she’d ever stop.
“I…alright,” he said, nodding. “What did you want to talk about?”
Uzi considered Cyn’s words, tossing them around in her head before she buried herself in N’s embrace once more.
“Nothing, N,” she said finally, her voice quieter now, muffled by the closeness of his chest. “It’s nothing.”
N didn’t respond right away, his grip tightening slightly as if to say, It doesn’t sound like nothing, but I’ll let you have this . She could feel the tension in his frame, the quiet restraint in his servos as he chose not to push her.
She hated that he could read her so well. Hated even more that he still stayed, despite it all.
“Just… just keep hugging me,” Uzi added, her voice cracking slightly as she clung to him, burying herself deeper into the safety he offered. “Please. Just hug me and talk about…something. I don’t know.”
His embrace shifted, adjusting like he could somehow hold her closer, tighter, until the cracks in her facade stopped widening. “Okay,” he said softly. No hesitation. No questions. Just okay. N ran his hands through her hair, thinking for a moment before he nudged her. “Hey. Did you know that golden retrievers have really gentle mouths?”
“...No, I didn't. Keep talking.”