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Olivia stood by the stove, watching the bubbles form and pop on the raw side of pancakes. It was way too early for her to be making breakfast, but Noah’s schedule as of late didn’t allow for sleeping in.
She was yawning when her son’s voice pierced the blissful morning silence, snapping her out of her reverie. “You think Uncle Rafa will show up?”
So much for snapping out of a reverie. She sighed, flipping one pancake, then another. “I don’t know, honey. He’s very busy.”
“On a Sunday?” He sounded doubtful.
“Well… you know how mommy is sometimes called into work on Sundays.”
“Yeah. But Uncle Rafa’s not a cop. Mom?”
“Yes, Noah.”
“What’s a ‘raincheck’?”
She swung around, giving the boy a narrow stare. “Where did you hear that word?”
“Last Sunday.” Noah fidgeted in his chair. “When you invited Uncle Rafa to have breakfast with us. He said ‘Rainchek?’. It wasn’t raining that day.”
Olivia sighed, closing her eyes for a brief instant. “First of all, you shouldn’t be eavesdropping. And second… You know how some people buy tickets to football matches?”
“Mm-hmm.” His mouth was too full of pancakes for any coherent answer.
“So… you play football outside, right?” A nod followed. “If it’s raining, the field is too wet. So the game is postponed, and people who bought the tickets get a ‘raincheck’. It’s become an expression. For when someone postpones something.”
“Oh.” Noah swallowed. “Is there more maple syrup?”
“In the cupboard.”
“Yeah, but it’s not butter-flavored.”
She smiled at him. “I’ll get you some more tomorrow. Now, how about—”
The doorbell rang.
Before she could stop him, Noah was scrambling out of his seat and barreling to the front door. “It’s Uncle Rafa! He came!”
“Noah…” She called after him, to no avail. The boy was a heat-seeking missile when it came to the things he wanted.
She was going to say it might not be Rafael, but then his voice filled the hallway, and Olivia sighed in relief.
“Hey!” She heard that voice coming closer and turned around. To her surprise, he was wearing a pair of faded jeans and a green sweater that brought up the color of his eyes. He dropped a package onto the counter. “I didn’t really know what to bring. You mentioned pancakes, so I thought I’d get some maple syrup.”
“Is it butter-flavored?” Noah chirped.
“As a matter of fact, I think it is. At least one of them should be. I didn’t know what you guys liked, so I brought a few.”
“Yessss!” The boy grabbed the bag, removing the bottles one by one and placing them on the table.
“Thanks,” Olivia said to Rafael. “You’re a life-saver.”
“I do my best,” he replied in his usual flippant tone. She saw him pulling his sleeves up. “How can I help?”
She looked at the rest of the batter. “I think I got this covered, thanks. Just grab a plate from that cupboard over there and dig in. I’ll join you guys in a few minutes.”
“Hmm. I got a better idea. Why don’t I finish up while you and Noah have breakfast?”
“Actually,” she suggested. “If you insist on being helpful, I could really use some coffee. I’ve been up since 6 AM.”
He laughed. “You sure know a way to a man’s heart. Filters?”
“Third drawer on the left.” She could’ve kissed him. “Coffee's in the freezer.”
“Gotcha.” Without further adieu, he got to work, bustling about her kitchen like he’d lived here his whole life. “If I knew we were going to have coffee, I would’ve brought some of my mother’s coffee cake. It’s really good.”
“I’m sure it is.” A pang of guilt made her wince. “Who’s going with her to the Mass?”
“A friend from her charter school.” Rafael closed the lid and pushed the button. “Ok. Coffee’s on its way. Anything else I can help with?”
Just then, Noah burst into the kitchen nearly tripping over the box of his new toy. “Look what Uncle Fin got for me.”
Rafael inspected the box. It was something called ‘Rush Hour’ by Thinkfun. In the lower right corner it said ‘8+’. He frowned. “I think you might be a little young for it, Noah.”
“Am not!” the boy protested. “I beat Mom all the time.”
Olivia gave Rafael an exhausted stare. “He’s not lying. I’m going to strangle Fin with my bare hands. This thing is addictive as f… hell. I asked him to get ‘My First Rush Hour’, but he said those were for dumb kids. This one?” She scoffed. “Is for dumb mothers. So… have fun, you two. But after breakfast.”
“You heard your mother.” Noah was nudged toward the table while the game was set aside.
Olivia was just turning off the stove, when a cup of steaming coffee appeared before her eyes. “One coffee as ordered,” said Rafael, not at all full of himself.
She gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you. Any pancakes left?”
“I set you plate aside.” He pointed at the table. She noticed three plates and a can of freshly squeezed orange juice.
“Where did that come from?”
He shrugged. “I brought it with me, just in case.”
“Wow. We should have you over for breakfast more often.”
It was only now that she noticed a cup of coffee held in his own hand. She smiled, shaking her head, and he grinned back. “I’ll tidy up while you eat.”
“Like hell you will. You’ll sit with me. Both of you. I ain’t eating alone.”
They did.
*********************
After breakfast, they cleaned the kitchen together, a messy affair that involved Noah splashing the water all around, Rafael tidying it up as fast as he could, and Olivia doing her best to load the dishwasher.
After a few finishing touches, she found her son and one of the sharpest legal minds she’d ever worked with splayed on the carpet that draped the floor of the living room, with the ‘Rush Hour’ fully unpacked and the poor little red car hopelessly blocked by traffic.
They were both on their fronts, two pairs of shoeless legs swinging from side to side. Neither of them had noticed her come in until she placed a plate with chocolate chip cookies next to the game board.
“Thanks, Mom,” Noah squicked. “There any milk?”
“Not on the carpet there isn’t. You know the rules.”
“Fiiiineee.” The boy went back to inspecting the game traffic. “You should try some,” he told his opponent. “Mom makes the best chocolate chip cookies in the world.”
“I’m sure she does,” Rafael said without taking his eyes from the board. “Ah-huh! I think…” Quickly, he moved some trucks and buses around until the little red car was finally free to roll out. “I win.”
“Daaamn,” Noah drawled. “That was a tough one.”
“Noah. Language.” Both Rafael and Olivia said at the same time.
“Sorry.” The boy looked as contrite as a five-year old possibly could be. “But Mom said ‘hell’ before. And it wasn’t even what she was about to say.”
“Well, when you’re your mom’s age, you can say whatever you want,” Rafael told him. “For now, you’ll watch your language.”
“Fine. Is it my turn?”
“Nope. I won. I get to pick another card. Did you shuffle the deck? I seem to get consecutive ones.”
“I’m not very good at it,” Noah admitted.
“Ok. You want me to shuffle?”
For a while Olivia listened to the exchange with a fond smile. “I think I’m just going to read my book,” she concluded at long last. “You guys have fun.”
There was no answer. The two were so absorbed in the game, she might have been a ghost for all they knew.
She fell onto the couch and wiggled into the corner, tucking her legs underneath herself and covering them with a throw blanket. The book was Jodi Picoult’s ‘House Rules’, and she’d been trying to finish it for weeks. For a while, though, she just watched the two people engrossed in a game on her threadbare carpet. They were a sight for sore eyes. A family that wasn’t truly a family, and probably never would be. The thought made her eyes burn. She'd loved Ed, and she used to be happy happy with him. But she also meant every word she had said to him on the night they'd said goodbye. And nothing had changed in her life. Nothing would change in her life, not for a long time. Ironic as it was, it seemed that her son had made his choice, and watching the two together brought to the surface every doubt she'd ever had.
She also realized how infectious Rafael’s laughter was. She didn’t think she had ever heard him laugh like that before he’d met Noah. It was a wonderful sound, rolling out of his chest in waves of mirth that filled the room like morning sunshine. She tried not to dwell on it. And failed.
He was good with Noah. It made her wonder why didn't have children of his own. Being career-driven was one thing, but he was still a young enough handsome man. He could have a family of his own. Make his own children as out-of-their-minds happy he was making Noah.
After a while, she forced her thoughts back to the book, enjoying a lazy Sunday the kind of which she hadn’t had in many years.
She came to when a shadow flitted across the couch and she looked up just in time to see Rafael place a cup of freshly brewed herbal tea on the small stand right next to where she was curled up.
“Sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
“It’s ok.” Olivia looked at the time, realizing she’d been reading for nearly two hours. “Who won?”
His eyebrows jumped. “What kinda question is that? I did.”
Laughing, she shook her head at him. “Rafa, he’s five. You could’ve gone easy on him.”
“He asked me not to.”
She sighed. “Fine. What are you guys gonna do now?”
“Actually, Noah’s been asking if I could take him to the park. That ok with you?”
“Of course. Just make sure he doesn’t climb on that dead tree. I swear one of those days he’s going to take a head dive.”
He smiled. “Don’t worry. I’ll watch him. You want us to get lunch on our way home?”
Her heart sank. “Actually… I’ve been meaning to tell you…”
She didn’t need to. “Ed’s coming over,” he said. “Gotcha. I’ll be out of your way soon.”
“Rafa—”
“It’s fine, Liv. I had a great time. You got your life. I got mine.”
She wished she could just tell him the truth, but whenever she tried the words seemed to stick in her throat like a poorly chewed chunk of stale bread. “I’m sorry,” was all she said.
“Don’t be. I happen to have an early dinner date, anyway. Will give me more time to dress up.”
The pang she felt now was that of jealousy, which was as petty as it was uncalled for. She shook it off as soon as it came, forcing a grateful smile.
“Thanks,” she said. “And have fun at the park, you guys.”
“We will. Drink your tea while it’s still hot. And enjoy your book.”
He was gone as soon as he had appeared, and she was left with this strange feeling of longing she hadn’t the first idea how to handle. She tried to read, only to find herself going over the same passage again and again. The house was eerily quiet, but somewhere deep in her heart a storm was raging.
In the end, it settled down. Olivia picked up the cup of tea and took a sip. It tasted like wild berries with a touch of cinnamon and apples, sweetened exactly the way she likes it. She smiled, setting it back down, and diving into the book again.
From time to time, her mind wandered to a different life that could’ve been. She let it.
Eventually, her eyes closed, she propped her head on one of the throw pillows and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.