Chapter Text
Steve the Anti-Scammer Guy had been feeling a bit down for a little while. he'd rooted out every scammer within a ten-mile radius of his home, and he was out of a job. no one was stupid enough to attempt talking to him, lest he accused them of trying to scam him. well, no one... except Sinclair.
Sinclair had randomly appeared in town one day recently, and no one seemed to know where they came from. in fact, no one seemed to know anything about them - their age, gender identity, family, not even their favourite colour. Steve had been waiting for an oppurtune moment to strike, but there hadn't seemed to be one. until today.
Steve was going about his day, watching tv and calling every advert a scam; calling people and telling them they were scammers; looking at himself in the mirror and practicing his "i'm-disappointed-but-not-surprised-you're-a-scammer" face, when he saw Sinclair pass by his window. he immediately paused what he was doing, getting up and pressing his face against the window to stare at them as they walked down the street. he watched as they looked around suspiciously, before pulling a key out of their pocket and pushing it into the door of a warehouse. they looked around one more time before slipping inside.
Steve frowned. this was very suspicious scammer behaviour. he knew what he must do.
not even bothering to lock his front door, Steve rushed out his house and into the warehouse Sinclair had just gone into.
the warehouse was dark. it took a moment for Steve's eyes to adjust to the light. when they did, he couldn't see much. crates and crates full of boxes stacked on top of each other filled the space, leaving just a small aisle to walk between. Steve followed the path, creeping along and listening out for Sinclair.
crash!
Steve jumped at the sudden noise, letting out a small squeal. he promptly covered his mouth, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. he held his breath, eyes squeezed tight shut. and, just as he thought he was safe...
"shit!"
Steve opened one eye slowly to see Sinclair stood in front of him, glaring into his soul.
"johannsen?"
Steve frowned. "...who?"
"where's johanson."
"i don't know! it's just the two of us in here! i don't know who that is!"
"huh. who are you?"
"i'm Steve, and i think you're... a scam!!"
"no."
"oh." Steve deflated. "okay then."
"what are you doing?"
"i'm finding merchandise to review. it's a hard job when no one wants to send you merch of their own accord - these big warehouses are always a treat to find."
"that feels like a... Classic Scam™!"
Steve turned around, pointing at seemingly nothing in particular.
"what are you doing?"
"saving the world from scammers, one scam at a time!"
"...but i'm not a scammer. or a scam for that matter. everything i do is legit. i have a spreadsheet if you wanna see it?"
Steve was about to decline, but then realised if the spreadsheet had even one singular error he would have evidence to back up his claims of Sinclair being a scammer.
"alright then."
Sinclair nodded. "perfect. just hold these a second..."
Steve looked down confused at the bundle of material suddenly in his arms.
"what's this?"
"don't ask questions, just walk out of here like you're meant to be holding that and maybe you won't get arrested."
"arrested?? but... but i'm not a scammer!!"
Sinclair stared at him for a long moment before clearly deciding it wasn't worth it and grabbing a few last bits. they maneuvered around Steve, leading the way to the exit. halfway there, Steve stopped abruptly.
"wait, what are we doing with this?"
Sinclair, several steps ahead, spun on their heel.
"we... are... taking... this... merchandise... to... my... office... so... i... can... review... it," they said slowly, enunciating each word very clearly.
"...so we're stealing it?"
Sinclair shrugged, "only temporarily. unless i like the merch, i always give it back. and i never like the merch. it's always too artsy, or the tags really bother me. or both."
"that feels like a... Classic Scam™!"
"...no. it's still not a scam. are you sure you're not the scam?"
"of course i'm not a scam! i think i'd be able to tell - after all, i've been doing this job for years."
"yes, and i've been doing mine longer, so stop telling me how to do it and just follow me."
Steve sighed and reluctantly followed Sinclair out of the warehouse and all the way to their office.