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Language:
English
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Published:
2024-12-06
Completed:
2025-01-11
Words:
1,489
Chapters:
2/2
Comments:
23
Kudos:
52
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KACHAN FIRE A WARNING SHOT!

Summary:

Was originally a oneshot where the power of swaws, gamer supps and a dicker max were used to kill all for one, but now it's a bunch of interconnected oneshots that are incredibly out of order

Enjoy the brainrot insanity that is therussianbadger

SWAWS

Chapter 1: Ze dicker max zhya!

Chapter Text

" you know all-might I often dream of you .. me pulling out your entrails as I tare you in half " all for one stated coldly as he stared down at all-might as he hovered in the air his smug dimenor angering all-might as the former stands there glaring up at his nemesis ready to end this fight as fast as possible ... Until he heard the sound of a young boy speaking all to gleefully

" Kachan fire a warning shot! "

" Sir my quirk is explosion "

" Ah potato potato just fire it kachan! "

 

At that a large explosion rocket towards all for one engulfing him in flames for a few moments before the fire dissipated showing all for one with a burned off suit who now turns to look angrily at who shot at him

 

" Who dares to Inturupt my ... "

 

" Ze bain of ze allies mine compf ze dicker max " 

All might along with the other heros on the scene stared in gob smacked horror at the fact there was an actual honest to god TANK on the battle field ... A tank which had it's gun aimed right at all for one.

 

One shot is all it took for all for one to be reduced to a pair of legs and crotch as the BESH round ripped right through him spraying blood and fire everywhere.

Silence filled kamino for a moment before endeavour angrily stomped up to the tank as if he could do anything until three children popped out of the tank all with shit eating grins on their faces

Mei hatsume, katsuki bakugou ... And izuku midoriya... WAIT YOUNG MIDORIYA!?!?

 

______________

 

" How in the actual hell did you 3 get a tank!?!? " 

Aizawa asked the 3 teens feeling a massive headache forming as the teens just sat there smiling at their Sensei / adult figure

" Well Mr hobo man I have a buddy who owed me a favour! "

Mei said happily with absolutely no regret in her voice what so ever, aizawa could already feel the headache growing, where's his sleeping bag!?

" Ain't our fault pussy for one was a weak ass bitch dawg! He definitely would try and steel some damn flat bread from me BOI! " 

Surprisingly that was BAKUGOU of all people talking like that ( well for us anyway hee it's quite a common occurrence )

" Immortal my ass that bitch had it coming the moment he took the damn hot sauce! "

Izuku said in full seriousness before the trio broke down laughing their asses off not at all caring about the fact they more en likely broke the Geneva conventions by using a tank on a singular person.

" Besides we made sure to use the BESH round duh! That bitch ass didn't deserve depleted uranium rounds! "

" Yum uranium "

" MEI FOR THE LAST TIME WE DONT CARE HOW CALORIE DENSE URANIUM IS!!! "

Izuku shouted aloud as bakugou just chuckled to himself a bit before he greenette turned to face the blonde

" You shut your dog ass up bitch go back to eating white bread!

" OI BOI YOU DONT BE DISSIN MY WHITE BREAD DAWG!!!! "

" swaws "

Forget sleep aizawa need tequila 

Chapter 2: DONT ACT DUMB!!!!

Summary:

Battle trials are up and all-might thought it'd be a good idea to put izuku and katsuki on a team together

 

Can we please get an f in chat for their adversaries

Notes:

Was originally gonna keep this a oneshot but fuck it we ball here

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Toshi ORI honestly didn't know what to expect would happen, he thought putting the two students who came from the same school would be good! Ya know comradery and all that!

Now UA has to foot hospital bills aswell as severe therapy for the rest of he class!! TODOROKI IS CRYING FOR HIM MOTHER FOR CHRIST SAKE!!!!

Where did this all go wrong!? ... Oh right, all-might being a dumbass and putting two chaotic ... THINGS on the same team

 

____________

 

" It is here we will do indoor battles!!!! " Allmight shouted out proudly to his class, a small part of him thinks they should go over their suits first to make sure they work but that cane before later! ( That small though is the past OFA users telling allmight to not be a complete dumbass by letting literal fucking children fight eachother with untested equipment! )

 

" Now time to draw lots and see who's partnered with who!! " He smiles as he pulls a box out of nowhere 

___________

 

The teams are drawn and whilst everybody is gearing up the air suddenly becomes slightly colder as midoriya and bakugou both just give eachother blanks stares before holding up heir balls to eachother revealing both to have the letter " B " on it, the two suddenly get the most deranged smiles on their faces before they seemingly teleport to eachother and start huddle whispering

 

_______________

 

" TEAM B WILL BE THE HEROS!! TEAM E WILL BE THE VILLAINS!!!!! "

 

Allmight shouts out the start of he first match ordering the whole class aside bakugou, midoriya, todoroki and jirou in the training area

 

The villain team head into the building with the fake bomb but they both quickly turn back around to see the hero team just starring at them ... Menacingly!!

( May the solver have mercy on there sorry souls )

 

________________

 

Allmight looks up at the monitors with the other students

" Now before this exercise starts does anybody have any questions ?? " He asks the class turning around to face them, everybody has rir hands raised but the girls are all for some reason blushing

" Yes young kirashima??? "

" Ummm sir ??? Why are midoriya and bakugou getting changed ??? " The artificial red head asks confusingly

" HUH!?!? " Allmight then turns around to indeed see the hero team for some reason getting changed out in the middle of the street, wait why is hound midoriya wearing all black? Why is young baku- WHY AND HOW DOES HE HAVE A MINIGUN!?!?!?!?!?

 

_____________

 

" So got any plans for those two?? " Jirou asks in a neutral tone as the keeps her jack's plugged into the wall

 

" Yes, I'll freeze them soon as they try to enter the building " todoroki says completely serious to which jirou gives him a confused as hell look 

" Is something wrong ??? "

" You are aware that 1 bakugou can create explosions right? Meaning the ice could at most hold him for a second if he even lets it get close to him and 2 we still have no idea what midoriya's quirk even is for all we know he could punch the whole building into dust and still leave us and the bomb intact " she says getting kind of annoyed, seriously this is a guy who got recommended and he didn't even know these things!?

 

" It doesn't matter, we'll win this with just my ice! "

 

" And what about me huh!? I'm apart of this, like it or not I'm your teammate for this so you have to- " but before she could continue her rant the speakers came to life

 

" Uummmm th the hero t team may enter " the number one hero said albeit sounding scared shitless

 

" Hmpf about time tell when they come through the- " however todoroki didn't get the chance to finish as a figure dressed in all black broke through the window and tackled jirou into the wall

 

" YOU CALL THIS RESISTING ARREST!? WE CALL THIS A DIFFICULTY TWEAK!!! " he shouted aloud whilst somehow music played prom the speakers as he kept bearing up jirou wig a damn baton!

" AAAHH AAKK AAHHH HELP ME!!!! " Jirou cried out between hits, just as todoroki was about to freeze the person in all black the door got knocked down to reveal another person, this one dressed in heavy armour and

" MAKE WAY FOR THE DOZER!!!!!! " BBBBRRRRRTTTTTTTTTT

 

____________________

 

" Mmm uummmm N N now c c can any b body r tell me who the. M m m MVP of the that match w was??? " Allmight asked looking at the two armoured figures who just stood there proud as hell, jirou and todoroki had to go to the damn hospital from their injuries, jirou had 5 broken ribs, a sprained arm, a bruised stomach, she got close to internal bleeding and that's getting off LIGHTLY! Todoroki suffered nearly all his ribs breaking, a broken arm bent so far back it's a miracle it's still attached, and shattered legs to the point allmight thinks they'll need damn amputated, however before allmight could talk Lida stomped up to the two of them and started angrily reprimanding the pair

" What you two did was some of the most disrespec-- " however before he could inish has then slapped so hard in the face by the person in all black he landed on his ass, said person then glared down at him and said

" NOW GO TO THE FORUMS AND CRY LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH YOU ARE!!! " They said before flipping him the double middle finger

" I'm out dawg peace! " The armoured figure said before turning around and walked up to the wall, ... Before jumping up and grabbing onto something and PROCEEDED TO PHASE THROUGH IT LIKE A GHOST!!!

" NOT .. AGAIN DAWG!!! " The figure in black said in shocked annoyance before running out of the observation room, a shout could very quickly be heard afterwards

" AH CLOAKER!!?!? " " WE CALL THIS A DIFFICULTY TWEAK!!!!! "

Notes:

Also incase your confused as who's who

Izuku = cloaker
Bakugou = dozer