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Renjun sat in his dorm room on his desk chair, wrapped snugly in a blanket, with his laptop resting on the table in front of him. The live stream of the concert was playing, and though he wasn’t physically there, his heart was with his members on that stage. He took a photo of his laptop and shared it on one of their social platforms to show fans he was supporting from afar.
He missed the lights, the fans, and most of all, the connection with the group. But tonight, he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming feeling of satisfaction as he watched the others perform their hearts out. The stage was full of energy and passion, with the members mentioning Renjun to excite the fans and remind everyone they will always be seven. It warmed him to see how much they missed him.
As the bridge to ANL played, Renjun straightened up. The camera swept across the venue, revealing a sea of bright yellow lightsticks glowing across the stage. Butterflies filled the screen just as his part was about to begin. Haechan suddenly shouted, “RENJUN-AH!”
Renjun’s jaw dropped as his pre-recorded voice played through the speakers. Instead of singing his part as planned, Haechan called out his name with such enthusiasm that it echoed through the venue, making the fans scream. Haechan was dedicating the moment to Renjun.
Throughout the concert, Haechan kept mentioning Renjun, even during his ment. The other members joined in, but something about Haechan stood out—it felt different. It didn’t help that Renjun had already been feeling a certain way about him before.
As the concert continued, Renjun couldn't take his eyes off the screen. Every now and then, Haechan would glance at the camera, his expression playful but laced with something deeper—something Renjun couldn't quite place. Maybe it was just the nostalgia of not being there, or maybe it was the way Haechan's voice softened every time he said Renjun's name. Either way, it was making Renjun's heart race.
When the concert ended and the screen went dark, Renjun sat back in his chair, staring at his laptop as if it might hold the answers to the questions swirling in his mind. His phone buzzed on the desk, snapping him out of his thoughts. It was a message from Haechan.
이동헉
Haechan: “Hope you enjoyed the show. Your parts are not the same without you.”
Renjun hesitated before typing back.
Renjun: “You all did amazing. I missed being there.”
Almost immediately, another message popped up.
Haechan: “We missed you more. But you already know that, don’t you?”
Renjun stared at the screen, his fingers hovering over the keyboard.
Renjun: “Maybe. But… it’s nice to hear it anyway.”
He hit send before he could overthink it.
-
Renjun was slowly recovering and decided to take part in their new English song, "Rains in Heaven," even if it was just for the music video and track. He wasn’t allowed to promote or perform yet, but he was making progress—slowly but surely. On the way to the music video shoot, he found himself replaying the song on his phone. His part was soft and vulnerable, and for some reason, hearing Haechan’s voice come right after felt... comforting.
It reminded Renjun of the days when Haechan would flirt with him on screen, throwing compliments and cheesy lines. At first, Renjun assumed it was all for show, something for the fans to gush over. But then, Haechan would bug him endlessly, sending playful messages at odd hours, calling him just to ask the most random questions, and staying close even when the cameras were off. During his break, Haechan had texted him almost every day, filling his inbox with jokes, updates, and sometimes random voice messages, all to make sure Renjun didn’t feel alone. Renjun questioned what Haechan truly felt for him. The thought weighed heavily on Renjun's chest, along with the realization of how much he had missed Haechan—not just as a member or a friend, but as something more. Did Haechan miss him this much too?
After the first sequence of the shoot, Renjun found himself sitting beside Haechan, both of them scrolling through their phones for a little break. “Hey,” Renjun began, his voice softer than usual, as he slowly moved closer to Haechan.
Haechan glanced up, “Renjun-ie~ Did you miss me that much?”. He brushed off the teasing and went straight in. Though he hesitated, his heart racing, he forced himself to ask. “Why did you… why did you fight to keep my part in the song? You could’ve re-recorded it while I was gone.”
Haechan blinked, caught off guard by the sudden question. Then, his smile softened. “Because it’s you,” he said simply, as if the answer was obvious.
Renjun’s breath hitched. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know…” Haechan shrugged, his gaze flicking away for a moment before settling back on Renjun. “It wouldn’t feel right. That part—it’s yours. You’re… special, Renjun. You know that, right?”
”I wouldn’t record all the songs if it was up to me.”
Renjun stared at him, not sure what to say. But hearing Haechan’s voice soften, his usual teasing tone replaced with something more sincere, made his heart ache in a way he wasn’t ready to face.
"Special?" Renjun echoed, his voice barely a whisper.
Haechan nodded, and for once, there was no smirk, no playful drama—just quiet honesty.
Renjun didn’t press further, but his mind replayed that single word over and over again, wondering what it truly meant. He tried not to sound delusional, forcing himself to believe it was just a kind gesture from a fellow member. But deep down, a part of him couldn’t shake the feeling that it meant more.
-
Between takes, Renjun noticed Haechan stealing glances at him, though he pretended not to. The older members had taken to teasing them both, making offhand comments about how Haechan was glued to Renjun’s side whenever they had breaks. Normally, Renjun would brush it off, but today, he couldn’t help but wonder if everyone else saw something he was trying so hard to ignore.
After another chorus, they gathered around the monitor to review the footage. The director replayed the part where Renjun was in the center, and the members praised him, saying it felt great to dance together again.
"Good job, Renjun," Haechan said quietly, just loud enough for him to hear.
Renjun swallowed hard and nodded, unsure how to respond. His heart was pounding again, and he hated how transparent he probably looked. Luckily, the crew called for another round of filming, and he gratefully escaped back to his spot on set.
As the crew packed up the heavier equipment, the TikTok manager approached the group, clipboard in hand. “Alright, it’s time for the TikTok duo challenges! Let’s get these done before everyone heads out,” she announced with a cheerful clap.
Predictably, she didn’t even glance at her list before calling out, “Haechan and Renjun, you’re up first!”
When it came time to film the final pose, Renjun hesitated for a split second, unsure of how close they should be. After a few seconds of them apart, Haechan’s arms suddenly wrapped around Renjun’s waist.
He froze.
The camera clicked off, signaling the end of the recording, but neither of them moved right away. The silence that followed felt deafening, and Renjun’s mind raced.
“That was awkward,” Haechan finally said with a laugh, breaking the tension as he stepped back. “Let’s redo it.”
Renjun, still feeling the lingering warmth from Haechan’s closeness, quickly shook his head. “Nope. It’s fine.”
Haechan blinked, surprised. “Fine? Renjun-ah, you looked like you wanted to bolt at the end! Let’s just do another take—”
“I said it’s fine,” Renjun interrupted, more firmly this time. His voice came out sharper than he intended, and even he was surprised by it. Haechan didn’t push further and simply walked away.
“Can you please cut that last bit out?” Renjun asked, his voice steady but betraying a hint of embarrassment as he addressed the TikTok manager.
The manager looked up from her phone, where she was reviewing the clip. “The ending? Why? It’s cute! The fans will love it.”
"Please?"
-
Later that evening, as the shoot wrapped up, Haechan approached Renjun just as he was about to head to the car. “Hey, what was that earlier?” he asked, his tone softer now.
“What was what?” Renjun replied, feigning ignorance.
“The TikTok. You were acting… weird.”
Renjun bit his lip, trying to come up with an excuse, but nothing felt convincing. Finally, he sighed. “I just didn’t want to redo it, okay? I was tired.”
Haechan studied him for a moment, his gaze searching. "Okay, get some rest alright?"
As Renjun climbed into the van, he sighed, leaning his head back against the seat. He just hopes the ending will be cut out so fans would not see it as it would be obvious.
-
The practice room was unusually quiet, except for the faint melody and Haechan’s humming. Renjun had grown used to the sound over the years—it was Haechan’s way of working, shutting himself away to create something magical.
This time, though, it felt different.
Renjun had caught snippets of Haechan working on a new song. He’d heard the faint melodies during practice breaks and seen the way Haechan poured himself into writing late at night. What struck Renjun most, though, were the lyrics he overheard while passing by:
You’re like a sunflower made of real sunlight.
Sunflower.
As is your childlike smile fresh as a daisy.
Daisy.
Those two flowers have been the ones fans associate with them the most ever since that moment during TDS2 when they both picked up the same pair of glasses.
Curiosity got the better of him. He knocked on the door, cracking it open just enough to peek inside. “Hey, what are you working on?”
Haechan looked up, his glasses slightly askew and his laptop resting on his lap. A small smile spread across his face. “You caught me,” he said, gesturing for Renjun to come in.
“Is this for the new album?” he asked, nodding toward the notebook filled with scribbled lyrics and crossed-out lines.
Haechan nodded. “Yeah. It’s called Flying Kiss.” He tilted his head, a playful glint in his eyes. “Wanna hear it?”
Renjun’s heart skipped a beat. Haechan would always send him flying kisses. He nodded, trying to keep his expression neutral as Haechan adjusted his laptop and started playing.
The song was beautiful. Every note, every word felt personal, like it was meant for someone special. The way Haechan sang, with so much tenderness, made Renjun’s chest tighten.
Was it for him?
The way Haechan looked at him while he sang, the way he seemed to pour everything into the words—it was hard not to wonder.
When Haechan finished, he looks at Renjun expectantly. “So? What do you think?”
Renjun blinked, snapping out of his thoughts. “It’s… beautiful,” he said softly, his voice almost breaking.
“Really? You’re not just saying that?” Haechan leaned forward, his eyes searching Renjun’s face.
Renjun shook his head. “No, it’s… it’s amazing. Who’s it for?”
The question slipped out before he could stop himself, and he immediately regretted it.
Haechan chuckled, leaning back. “Ah, it’s a secret,” he teased, winking. “You’ll find out eventually.”
Renjun tried to laugh along, but the mystery lingered in his mind, bothering him.
-
When the song was finally recorded, Renjun found himself re-listening to the song alone, dissecting every word. The more he thought about it, the more he convinced himself it could only be about him.And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to ask Haechan directly. Instead, he waited, hoping the answer would come on its own.
Because deep down, even if the song wasn’t for him, he liked pretending it was.
-
The familiar scent of the practice room hit Renjun the moment he stepped inside. He stood still for a moment, taking it all in—the muffled sound of footsteps from down the hall, the faint hum of a track playing on repeat, and the sunlight streaming in through the tall windows.
The room was empty except for the studio monitors by the mirrored wall. Renjun had arrived early on purpose, hoping to reconnect with the space before the others showed up. His time away felt both endless and fleeting—a blur of healing, reflection, and longing for the life he loved so much.
Sure, he had been part of the Europe leg of the tour, but this time felt different. Now, they were gearing up for something bigger—an album and the Seoul encore concert. It wasn’t just another performance; it was something special. Being back added a sense of weight and excitement he couldn’t quite put into words. Even though it was technically the end of the tour, it didn’t feel that way. To him, it felt like a fresh start, a new chapter.
As he adjusted his hoodie and took a step toward the center of the room, the door burst open, startling him.
“Renjun!”
It was Haechan, his voice echoing with the same excitement Renjun had heard countless times before. Before Renjun could respond, Haechan was already pulling him into a tight hug.
“You’re early,” Renjun mumbled, though his arms instinctively wrapped around him.
“And you’re finally here,” Haechan replied, his voice softening as he pulled back just enough to meet Renjun’s eyes. His hands stayed firmly on Renjun’s shoulders. “You have no idea how much we’ve missed you.”
Renjun felt his cheeks warm. “I missed you guys too,” he said quietly.
“Guys? No way.” Haechan wagged a finger, stepping back with a playful pout. “You missed me the most. Admit it.”
Renjun rolled his eyes, but the smile tugging at his lips betrayed him. “But seriously, this room was too empty without you.”
Before Renjun could say something, the door opened, and the rest of the members poured in, their voices filling the room. Jaemin was the first to reach him, ruffling his hair, while Jeno and Mark gave him a firm hug. Chenle and Jisung followed, bombarding him with questions about how he was feeling and if he was ready for the tough practice ahead.
As they settled into practice mode, Renjun found himself slipping seamlessly into the choreography and harmonies. He wasn’t just coming back—he was coming back to his family, to the stage, to himself. And with every step, every note, he knew he wasn’t alone.
The Seoul encore concert was everything Renjun had hoped for and more. The fans’ cheers felt louder and more alive, like they were welcoming him home. The energy was electric, every song filled with gratitude and joy. Each member had their moment to shine, and Renjun’s was during ANL.
When the time came, the intro to the song played, and the familiar melody filled the stadium. Renjun braced himself, mentally preparing for the bridge that had always been his favorite part. As the music built, the platform he was standing on began to rise, signaling his spotlight moment.
For a brief second, though, his mind went blank. The movement of the platform threw off his timing, and he nearly missed his cue as he scrambled to adjust. Panic gripped his chest, and instinctively, his eyes darted to Haechan.
He expected the usual—maybe a teasing grin or a dramatic gesture that would make him laugh it off later. But what he saw instead stopped him cold.
Haechan wasn’t smirking or even standing with the others at their marks. Instead, he had led the members to the edge of the stage, where they knelt together, all of them looking up at Renjun as if he were the centerpiece of the entire performance.
And Haechan… Haechan was looking at him like he hung the stars in the sky.
Renjun froze, his voice faltering for a brief moment before he recovered, pouring everything into his part. The crowd seemed oblivious to his slip, but his heart raced, not from nerves, but from the intensity of Haechan’s gaze.
When the bridge ended and the platform lowered, Renjun’s chest felt tight, his emotions threatening to spill over. He barely heard the rest of the song, his thoughts stuck on the way Haechan had looked at him—like he was something more than just a friend or a bandmate.
As the song ended, the members ran around the stage, hyping up the fans for the next set. Haechan made his way to Renjun, his usual playful grin returning as he bumped shoulders with him.
“You killed it,” Haechan said, his tone casual but his eyes saying so much more.
Renjun opened his mouth to reply but found himself speechless, his heart still reeling from the moment.
Instead, he whispered, “Thank you,” so quietly he wasn’t sure Haechan even heard it over the screaming crowd.
But Haechan smiled, a small, knowing smile, and Renjun realized maybe he didn’t need to say anything at all.
-
Now, in the quiet of the car ride back to the dorms, the adrenaline had finally worn off, leaving only the hum of the engine and soft breaths between him and Haechan.
Renjun sat by the window, his body heavy with exhaustion. Haechan was beside him, phone in hand, scrolling through his feed as if he wasn’t just on stage pouring out every ounce of energy he had. Renjun huffed and leaned over, his head resting against Haechan’s shoulder. It was a small gesture, casual enough not to warrant a reaction, but comforting in its intimacy. Haechan didn’t seem to mind, his body still as Renjun settled closer.
The rhythmic scrolling sound of Haechan’s finger on his phone screen filled the quiet air, and Renjun let his eyes flutter closed.
But then, a soft ding interrupted the calm. Renjun felt Haechan’s shoulder tense slightly as he glanced at his phone.
Curiosity got the better of him, and Renjun peeked at the screen. His drowsiness faded instantly when he saw the notification banner:
🌼 “Did you get home safely?”
Haechan quickly hid the notification, but he had already read it.
Renjun blinked, his brain struggling to process what he was seeing. The daisy emoji, the heart… It was like a punch to the chest.
The pieces started falling into place, and Renjun felt a knot tighten in his stomach. The daisy emoji. The tenderness in the lyrics of Flying Kiss. The way Haechan had spoken so passionately about the song.
It wasn’t for him.
Renjun leaned back against his seat, trying to mask the hurt he knew must be evident on his face.
Haechan glanced at him, eyebrows furrowing slightly. “You okay?”
"Yeah, just tired," Renjun lied, putting on a small smile as he stared out the window, watching the city lights blur by.
Haechan didn’t push, but Renjun could feel his gaze lingering, as if trying to figure out what had shifted.
For the rest of the ride, Renjun stayed silent, his mind replaying every moment, every word, every glance that had made him believe, even for a second, that the song is for him. It had been foolish, he realized now, to think that Haechan’s affection and teasing had meant something more.
When they finally arrived at his dorm, Haechan turned to Renjun with a soft expression. "Don’t stay up too late, alright? You need rest after today."
Renjun nodded, offering a tight smile. "You too." He closed the van door, watching as Haechan’s car pulled away, heading toward his new apartment.
As he watched the van disappear into the streets, Renjun let out a quiet sigh. The warmth he’d felt earlier was gone, replaced by a hollow ache.
Maybe it was better this way, he told himself. After all, some things were easier to let go of when they were never yours to begin with.
-
The third and final day of the encore concert ended in a flurry of emotions. The crowd had been louder, the energy higher, and the goodbyes even more tearful. It was the perfect end to a perfect run. The members, though exhausted, were in high spirits as they returned to the company’s private dining hall for a celebratory dinner.
Renjun, however, had a quiet mission of his own. During the break earlier in the day, he’d gone out to prepare a small surprise for everyone—a bouquet of flowers for everyone. As they filed into the dining hall, Haechan naturally gravitated toward Renjun, sticking close like he always did. “I call dibs on sitting next to Renjun!” he announced loudly, earning laughs and teasing from the others.
Renjun smiled faintly but didn’t respond. Instead, he carried the flower bouquets to the table, placing them down gently at each member’s seat.
“Flowers?” Chenle asked, picking up his arrangement with a raised brow. “Renjun, you’re spoiling us.”
Renjun laughed lightly, avoiding Haechan’s eyes as he made his way around the table. “Just wanted to thank you guys for everything. You’ve been amazing.”
Renjun sat down in the corner, next to Chenle and across from Jisung. Haechan blinked, momentarily thrown off. “Renjun, what are you doing over there?” he called out, his voice louder than necessary.
Renjun busied himself with pouring beer into his glass, his face calm but avoiding Haechan’s direction. “I wanted to sit here tonight,” he replied evenly.
The table fell silent for a beat, the tension subtle but palpable. Haechan’s smile faltered as confusion flickered across his face. Renjun had always been his food buddy, the one he shared bites with and exchanged knowing glances during meals. Tonight, though, it felt like there was a barrier between them he couldn’t quite understand.
Jaemin, ever the peacemaker, broke the silence with a chuckle. “Don’t take it personally, Haechan. Renjun’s spreading the love.”
“Yeah, maybe he got tired of your constant teasing,” Mark added, smirking.
The group laughed, the atmosphere relaxing again, but Haechan remained quieter than usual, his gaze occasionally drifting to Renjun across the table.
As the night went on, Renjun focused on the others, laughing at Chenle’s jokes and nodding along to Jisung’s stories. But no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, he could feel Haechan’s eyes on him, the weight of his unspoken questions pressing heavily against him.
When dinner ended and they began gathering their things, Haechan finally approached him, his bouquet still in hand.
“Renjun,” he said softly, his usual playfulness replaced by something more serious, “did I do something wrong?”
Renjun looked up, startled by the directness. “What? No, of course not.”
“Then why are you avoiding me?”
Renjun hesitated, feeling his walls almost break under Haechan’s look. “I’m not avoiding you,” he said finally, giving a small smile. “I just… wanted to do something different tonight. That’s all.”
Haechan looked at him for a moment, like he was trying to find the truth in his words. After a slow nod, he stepped back. “Okay,” he said quietly, though his usual cheer didn’t come back.
As Haechan walked away to join the others, Renjun exhaled deeply, clutching the edge of the table. He hated lying, especially to Haechan, but he needed space. Space to untangle his feelings, to remind himself why he had to keep his emotions in check.
Because as much as he wanted to believe otherwise, Haechan’s flying kisses, sunflowers and daisies weren’t just for him.