Work Text:
König and __ have been in a relationship for over two years. In König's eyes they were perfect, they always showered him with gifts and compliments, and always made date plans. Of course, they would have the normal couple arguments. But overall they seemed happy and König was happy with them. Yes, he has been in relationships with others, but they always would leave him due to his line of work. Which he understood and never held it against them. But when he met __ it felt like his whole life turned around and he met the one for him.
They had a healthy, loving relationship with anyone looking in from the outside.
But that was far from the truth to __ they had never had a healthy relationship before. So in their minds, this wasn't a healthy relationship, just waiting for him to realize how horrible of a person they were. And he would leave them bc who honestly would ever love someone like them? Everyone they had ever cared about had left them. So why would the one person they truly felt a connection with stay with them? The simple answer was they wouldn't. He was gonna get bored with them and leave. Because that's what everyone else had done to them because they were so incapable of ever being loved by anyone.
König glanced over at me as he drove the car to the park. "How was work doll?" One hand was on the steering wheel while the other lay on my thigh. I smiled over at him, sighing softly as my mind raced with some many thoughts. All of them were of him leaving me, we have been together for over two years now surely he was getting tired of me by now right? "Oh, you know same old same old," I say with a gentle laugh looking out the window, watching the trees as we pass them. "Something on your mind?" König asks with concern lacing his voice as he notices your mood is off. I wanted to tell him my worries I really did, but what if that's what he leaves me over? Just like my ex did, what if I told him and he lashed out at me? He's never been violent towards me but what if today is the day he is? My mind rushes with so many possible, I snap out of it when I feel a gentle squeeze on my thigh. "Oh, I'm good!" My voice goes a bit higher than it normally was. He chuckles softly as he pulls into the parking lot of the park.
König lays out the blanket for us to sit down on, as I hold the basket of food and drinks we brought. König takes the basket from my hand puts it on the blanket, and sits down. I smile as I follow after him, he opens the basket of food pulling out two wine glasses pours us both a glass, as I take out the container of grapes. "Thank you," I say softly as I take the glass from his hand. "So, __" König Clears his throat. 'No, he's gonna break up with you. He doesn't love you! He's probably cheating on you.' Your mind races with thoughts. "I was thinking since we have been together for two years now." He takes a drink of the wine as he looks at you taking your hand into his, rubbing his thumb over yours trying to soothe your nerves. "Maybe we go apartment haunting and move in together?" my eyes light up at his question. My lease on my apartment was ending in December, so this would be perfect. "Yes!" I say happily. "My lease is ending in December so this would be perfect!" I tell him, and he smiles softly at me. "Great! would you like to start looking for an apartment next time you're off work?" "Yes, that will be in two weeks." "Great!" He kisses my lips softly.
-One Week Later-
"I can't do this!" Tears roll down my cheeks as I pace around my bedroom. "I can't move In with him! I can't because what if we move in together and he doesn't like how I live? What if he gets annoyed with me? What if he falls out of love with me like Leo did? What if he kicks me out just like Leo did?" I question myself pacing around my room, my hand running through my hair. Leo was my ex who I was with for five years. We had moved in together and one night he dropped a bombshell on me, that he was no longer in love with me and I needed to leave. "He's going to fall out of love with me! What if he doesn't love me and it's all some sort of mind game he's playing on me?" I question out loud as my back hits the wall, I slide down to the floor crying, Pulling my knees to my chest. "I can't do this," I Whisper to myself as I pull over my phone pull up König contact, and begin to type out a message. 'Hey König I don't think I can move in with you just yet, I think it's a bit too soon for us to move in right now. I hope you understand I love you.' I re-read the message probably twenty times, before deleting it and turning my phone off.
As the week went on, I started to become more and more distant with König, I was planning on ghosting him until I felt better. In my mind if I need to hurt him before he hurts me. Because that's the only logical way I can think about going about it, everyone always hurts me. So if I hurt him, leave for a little while then come back with that dish his mother would make when he was a child, everything will go back together. Or at least that was my mindset for everything.
Everyone I had ever loved had always hurt me, so I would just hurt him until I felt better again. He'll understand I'm sure of it.
Dozens of messages fill my inbox from könig, I look at each one reading them but never responding. Message range from, 'Guten Morgen liebe.' to 'Miss you, I'm excited to go house hunting with you. Can't wait to see you again. <3' to 'You okay?' To 'why aren't you responding to me??? Did I say something wrong?' I don't reply to any of his messages, slowly stopping looking over his messages. I felt too bad, but then again in a big way, it felt like such a relief.
-Two Months Later-
It has been two months since you ghosted König, your boyfriend of two years. You were now missing him, so you decided to make him a homemade dish his mom would make him when he was younger. Kimchi-jjigae, his mother was half Japanese and half Korean. It was a dish he would often talk wanting when he was sad, so you got everything to make it for him and would go over to say sorry.
You packed up the dish, heading over to his apartment. Knocking softly against the door.
I stood at his door smiling brightly at the door, as I heard the television pause followed by footsteps. "Hi!" I smiled brightly up at him, as he looked down at him. I could tell he had been crying. "What.." His voice was low and cracked slightly. "Don't look at me like that!" His voice was cold and harsh as he spoke down to you. "Like what?" I questioned him softly, tilting my head slightly. "Like that! You can't just waltz back into my life like you haven't been missing for the past few months!" He glared down at me.
I choked against my words. "I-" "You're what __?! Sorry? I highly doubt that!" I shook me at his words, confused. I was sorry I was sorry that's why I made this and came here to apologize. "What?" Tears formed in my eyes as looked at him. "What? No, I am sorry Kö." I say gently as I look at him. "No, no you're not you're not sorry! You haven't been sorry this whole relationship, you do things constantly that upset me and you know they upset me but you continue to do them! Because you don't care about me!" He growls looking down at me. "No kö." My breathing fastens.
"No what ___? I can't take this I can't take being in a relationship with you anymore! All you care about is yourself and barely even that!" "No könig, please I'll change I promise!" I beg to look at him. "No!" He growls looking down at me. "You won't change no matter how many talks we have no matter how much space I've given you nothing I ever do is gonna change this relationship! You need to get therapy or something! Because I can't fix you I'm done with this relationship goodbye ___"
I watched as he closed the door in my face.