Archive of Our Own

He wasn’t really in the mood to go to the Christmas Party. 

His brother had recently been in a car accident because of  some dumbass drunkard decided it was a good idea to drive through the streets of Seoul. It was rare for him to lose his cool, ready to barge into that man’s room to strangle him alive. Thankfully, his father was there to stop him before anything could have happened that would have left him to deal with the consequences.

“Hyung, I am really fine. Just go to the party!”

Juyeon was frowning at his younger brother as he packed out some of his homemade kimchi-jjigae and a few side dishes that their mother had given him on her last visit.

“I don’t need to, I wouldn’t even enjoy the party anyways.” he reasoned, setting everything up for Juhwan to eat. Hospital food was okay-ish for a few days but at some point it would get boring and bland – nothing could ever beat homemade food. 

Because of their parents being busy at home with work and the hospital located in Seoul, he took it upon himself to visit and take care of Juhwan which he loved doing, truly. 

But somehow his little brother started to give him a feeling of ... 

“Do you not want me here?” he asked with an amused grin as he placed a spoon and a pair of chopsticks on the table.

His baby brother rolled his eyes. They both knew that was not true but sometimes hearing reassurance can settle one’s mind. And because he knew Juyeon his entire life, of course he could tell that his older brother needed some sort of validation. For what reason exactly, thankfully he did not pry.

“No, hyung. I really appreciate you coming here but you should also go out and live your life. I’m fine, not being around each other for a day could actually do us both some good,” Yet he still wordlessly had Juyeon feed him a spoonful of rice with soup, chewing happily before he continued.
“I’m old enough to take care of myself, I’m 25 already. You don’t have to look after me 24/7 anymore.” 

“Sorry, I do keep forgetting that you are not a little pumpkin anymore,” Not like Juyeon had just fed him. 

How nostalgic it was, to think about the old days where he held his brother’s tiny hand in his, strolling around small alleys around their neighborhood without a care in the world.  

It wasn’t like Juyeon had anything better to do, though. Whenever he bid his last client goodbye and was done with work for the day, he would usually spend the evening with his friends whenever they had some spare time. 

Those by now, had better things to do.
They would be spending quality time with their significant other, their family or going out with other friends which frequently left him on his own. He told himself he would be too tired to head out anyways, ending up at home to wind down from another exhausting day, watching a movie or opting to read a book. 

But today was a little different - today he needed a bit of distraction when first of all, his beloved little brother was hit by a car and second…   

“Good, good, now out with you and meet the love of your life or whatever.”

Just like that, he was ushered out by his own blood and had the door in front of his nose shut. 

Now, that was just rude - Juyeon pouted with puffed out cheeks. 

Frankly, he could not be upset about it. Deep down, he knew his brother only meant well, not wanting to be a burden to the family though that is never the case. Juyeon would love to do everything for Juhwan, ready to give his own life as family meant everything to him. It bothered his little brother sometimes, having reminded Juyeon more than once to take care of himself first but no can do. 

But if space was something Juhwan was asking for, it was the most sensible thing to respect it. Which meant it was time to go home and get ready, he supposed.

His KakaoTalk kept popping up messages that he ignored since yesterday but with nothing else to do, he found it harder to keep away from it. His friends were nagging him about his whereabouts, both within the group and a few had slipped into his DMs. Scrolling through the most recent texts, he vehemently tried not to look at the one message that had kind of ruined his entire day.

“You’re boring, let’s stop seeing each other :)”

The person he had been on several dates with for the past two months literally sent him that yesterday night to be precise.

That was… not a nice way to let him down but alright, he could take it, no hard feelings.
At least the guy did it straightforwardly instead of ghosting him and Juhwan was healthy and well, making great progress in rehabilitation.

(Short note: The guy did ghost Juyeon for the past two weeks before this text welcomed him out of the blue so his cousin told him Bullshit, that’s an asshole).

All in all, things weren’t looking all dandy lately but he tried to stay positive, otherwise it would just become too sad.

+++

Thirty minutes later and Juyeon was tiredly staring into his bathroom mirror, drops of water running down his slightly blemished skin. He sighed to himself, putting on his skin care products before pulling over the self-knit Christmas sweater that his mother had made him. 

Sometimes it was the little things in life like this that gave him joy in the darkest of times. 

He remembered the video call with his family so vividly, his mother excitedly telling him about a small project with her friend that they were both working on together. Juyeon was able to see his father watch her in the background, his eyes full of adoration. It was truly the sweetest sight. 

One true love was a term that made people roll their eyes quite so often, yet his parents were physical proof that it existed, so he never stopped believing. It made him feel giddy albeit never voicing it out as it was embarrassing, hopeful for someone to some day look at him as his parents were with  each other.

The pullover was adorable with its bright red color, its unique and lightly quirky design, decorated with a few embroidered and tired looking black cats - his mother fawned how they resembled Juyeon. It was perfect, he loved it and most importantly, it was warm and oversized. 

On most days Juyeon felt confident.
He would like to show off his strong points whenever, broad shoulders, lean muscles, and  small waist. Tight fits and tank tops suited him incredibly well but his mother knew better. There were times Juyeon would seek comfort and warmth, especially during the harsh days of winter, where there was clearly not enough sun for him to make it through unharmed. 

He would feel cold all the time, preferring to be cozy, wrapped in oversized clothing with sleeves that could cover his big hands, offering a feeling of safety and home - these  were truly his favorite.

His parents always told him he needed a partner with a high body temperature, since he was sensitive. He was lucky to have caring and loving parents who always knew best.

Grabbing his phone and his wallet for tonight, Juyeon headed out with his scarf covering his nose and a thick puffer jacket swallowing him whole. 

He quivered as soon as he was met with the outside. 

Winters were so cruel sometimes. 

+++

“Oh, Juyeon?” A familiar voice called his name. He was standing in front of a red light at a crossing, turning his head to the direction it came from.

“Sangyeon-hyung,” a smile formed on his lips at the sight of the man with ashen dyed hair, looking way too thinly clothed for a night of minus five degrees that it almost caused shivers running down his spine. 

Lee Sangyeon was only a few years older than Juyeon and had become part of their closer circle through his upperclassmen Jacob and Jaehyun, who had graciously introduced him to everyone when Juyeon had to work overtime. After hearing so many stories about the campus’ famous soccer player legend, Juyeon had finally met him at the wedding of Changmin’s sister.

They had easily warmed up to each other, occasionally hanging out with the others and today he considered him more than just an acquaintance - a hyung he felt he could count on if needed, more like. To clarify things, Sangyeon was an IT department student at their university but had already graduated when Juyeon just started off as a freshman in the medical department. 

“Are you heading to the party as well?” 

Juyeon blinked several times before he nodded.
“You are late too?” 

“You think Chanhee will be mad?” Sangyeon chuckled, head dipping forward. It was a beautiful view, to see him so carefree and loose, comfortable around him, it lightened up his sour mood in an instant. 

Juyeon could only roll his eyes in response, saying rather fondly “At least I won’t be listening to his screeching on my own.”

Staring at each other with smiles, when the light turned green they proceeded to quietly pass the street, knowing they were heading to cross through a small park within the peaceful neighborhood next. 

Or so they believed. They were faced with a fork in the road, suddenly walking into different directions. After a minute, they both stopped in their tracks as soon as they noticed a little late, that they were drifting apart. 

Odd . Sangyeon usually wasn’t the type of person who would have such a slow reaction, especially in comparison to himself. Juyeon shortly wondered what big thing could be on his mind that got him so distracted to not notice.

“... Don’t we have to go to the left?” The next second Juyeon tilted his head to the side, wondering out loud. 

“I thought it was to the right,” Sangyeon gave him a funny look that he could not quite place, perhaps a mixture of amusement and endearment. It made him a little nervous but not in an unpleasant way.

Just like that they trotted back towards each other like penguins. In languid motion the older man took out his phone, with Juyeon watching over his shoulder. 

He snickered when he caught a glimpse of Sangyeon’s home screen background - it was him together with his nephews from back when they were still very little, hanging onto his arms like little monkeys, all three wearing one of their brightest smiles facing towards the camera. 

“They are so adorable,” he cooed and rested his chin against the bridge of Sangyeon’s shoulder.

The other grinned full of affection at the mention of the two “Yes, but they have way too much energy.”

Calloused fingers skimmed over the screen, opening Naver Maps to help them navigate themselves through the local streets of Seoul.

“I was wrong, you were right, hyung,” Juyeon sighed as soon as he could see where the blue line on the map was leading them to, “I would’ve just gotten lost if I hadn't met you.” He ruffled through his hair in frustration. One thing that would never change was how bad he was with directions.

“It’s okay, Juyeon-ah. Else you could’ve just called me and I would’ve picked you up somewhere.” 

They were now heading towards the right path, Juyeon’s ears perking up at the statement.
“You would do that for me?” He asked, a bit baffled.

“Of course,” Sangyeon said as if it was a given. 

“Oh.” That was… very kind.
Putting his hands into his jacket’s pockets, he thought of ever finding someone for himself, someone who would also do such mundane things for him as a romantic partner. Usually, he wouldn’t, he wasn’t that much of a sap but Sangyeon was just someone who would do that to you, an imperfect yet perfect lover type of man who everyone could only dream of.

His brother often chided how Juyeon just had very poor taste in men and in retrospect, Juhwan was correct. It became more and more apparent whenever he watched other couples around him where things were working out. How they were smiling at each other hand in hand or glowing in the embrace of their significant others despite the hurdles they had to face together. 

Juyeon never had that. He dated only a few but those were all.. Unlucky and short-living. He could faintly remember how sad he was when his hand was shaken off from the other’s. It was embarrassing for two men to hold hands in public - that was his reason. The second one turned out to be a cheater and Juyeon was only the third party within a long-term relationship. Lastly, the one who was fed up with him, dumping him via text. All of these guys didn’t bother to lift a single finger for Juyeon and that just showed once more, how he was so stupidly naive, that it hurt him. 

So he wasn’t used to this.
Although it was only a theoretical scenario, afterall Sangyeon is a good friend who would go out of their way for him, it was kind of nice to be treated lovingly without him having to ask for it.

+++

It was late, the park was mostly void of other people, the dark sky stretched above them. The path was only illuminated by the small lanterns casting soft shadows onto the pebbled road. For a while they didn’t speak, finding solace to have some distance from their daily life. They had learned it worked for them well, not always feeling the urge to chat which was not the case with the others. 

“It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other. Have you been well?” The older one asked into the cold air, not minding their silence but was genuinely interested in Juyeon’s well-being. 

Juyeon hummed in agreement, realizing that it really had been a while. With everyone living the full-time job life and most of them working in different fields and shifts, it was hard to come together as regularly like they used to before. How he sometimes missed the old university days where they had more freedom. 

Not feeling like hiding anything, he answered truthfully, “So, so, and you?” 

He didn’t mean to seek attention. It was just a little tiring to keep hiding from everyone that he wasn’t doing so well. In front of the others, he might have said something different which was technically no lie but with only Sangyeon and him currently present, he believed it was okay for once, to be honest. 

“Did something happen?”

“Only this and that,” Juyeon closed his eyes with an easy smile. Not wanting to see the face Sangyeon might have made - of pity or the like,
“What about you, hyung?”

There was a noticeable pause and he briefly worried he might have made things awkward. When he blinked down at Sangyeon, he found the other staring, studying him closely, as though he was trying to decipher the reasons behind Juyeon’s vague answer. 

He shifted awkwardly under his gaze and was about to try to say something else but he was too slow and Sangyeon was faster, his light frown turning into something lighter in return. “I’m good, work is busy but fun.”

Phew. “Database research, was it?”

“You remembered?” Sangyeon’s face lit up at the mention, like a puppy who had just been given a treat.  

Shyly nodding, Juyeon swayed a little in his step.
Of course, he remembered.
“Is it hard to lecture so many students?” 

“Not really, thankfully they aren’t kids anymore,” A field so very different from his own that he could barely imagine as a physiotherapist.

Sangyeon was a very active person, they were similar in that regard. Yet he was working mostly at his desk on the computer  or standing in front of a crowd of students, holding lectures at several universities and high in demand. 

“I just yap off their ears and if they have questions, they can just come to me after the lecture,” Sangyeon laughed to himself. “Now the thing is, most of them are too shy to come up, so they usually mail me.. And that means less work.”

He was good at telling stories, somehow always managing to get the younger one to laugh and for the rest of their walk, it made Juyeon feel more at ease than he had thought. Thankful that Sangyeon didn’t try to pry into his problems despite knowing that something felt off.

+++

Kevin swung the door open after three rings, looking mildly surprised to see the two Lees arriving together, an unusual sight. “You guys came together?”

Juyeon didn’t bother with an answer and went straight in for a hug - a slightly awkward one since Kevin was never really fond of them. Still, he let it slide. It was Juyeon who was asking for affection after all and Kevin knew well how his older friend was more clingy than he would ever admit.

Thankfully, Sangyeon took over, explaining to him on how they coincidentally met on their way here.

Christmas decorations were all over the place. 
Kevin’s skills in interior design were never to be underestimated, as expected from an artist. He always had a knack for this, decorating rooms and turning it into a lovely home. Jacob and his apartment was big enough for him to reign free with his ideas, adding typography on the dark green painted walls, completing the Christmassy look with mainly red additions.     

Soon the two were greeted by a bunch of people, some faces Juyeon knew very well and some he might have only seen a couple of times while passing by them on campus back then. There were definitely too many people to his liking though he was willing to suck it up for the sake of his friends.

He remembered Sangyeon handing him over some of his things as he rummaged through the bag.
“Ah hyung, I still have your wallet and stuff.”

Sangyeon heaved up the bags from the floor with a grunt “Give me a second, I have to put the drinks in the kitchen. You can leave them on the couch, Juyeon.”

“Let me help you, it’s heavy.” Juyeon moved quickly to his side, shaking his head as he took a few bags away from the other, not wanting for him to carry everything on his own.

They had completely forgotten to bring drinks and snacks, this caused them to stop by a convenience store on their way. 

Some guests were watching their interaction - especially their common friends while others didn’t quite care with the exception of people who were curious about the infamous Lee Sangyeon. 

The two disappeared into the kitchen, putting out all the things they brought over. When they finished, they took off their jackets at the same time with a simultaneous sigh. 

Juyeon’s gaze drifted to Sangyeon, realizing that the older one’s expression of confusion matched his.

“Your sweater—”
“Your swea—”

They cut each other off, freezing for a moment, and then both made a synchronized, baffled ‘Huh?’ sound, as if neither of them could make sense of it.

“My mother made it,” He quickly clarified.

“Mine too?” Sangyeon immediately responded.  

Exchanging confused looks, just a few beats later they burst out in laughter. The sweater personally knit by his own mother had a duplicate that was worn by Sangyeon with just small differences in details. Instead of embroidered black cats, there were embroidered little golden retrievers, it was devastatingly adorable. 

“That’s really surprising,”
He leaned against the counter, remembering his father telling him about some new friends they made when they went to Seoul for a small couple trip. 

Sangyeon made an agreeing sound.
“I guess we are matching for tonight,” his hands were playing with the hem of the soft fabric and added confidently, “I do think I look better in it though.”

Despite Juyeon grumbling to himself, he couldn’t help but to agree - red just wasn’t his best color, he admitted.

+++

When they returned to the common area Sangyeon poked his arm, “You got something in your hair,”
His fingers reaching out to get out whatever was caught in it. 

Juyeon’s eyes widened, heart skipping a beat at how close the older one’s face was all of a sudden. 
“I can take it off myself, hyung-”

Before he could finish his complaint, a voice interrupted them. “Oh, you got matching sweaters, that’s so cute!”
A friend of Kevin’s suddenly chirped at the two, drawing everyone's eyes towards them.

Unsure of how to respond, a sense of discomfort sinked under his skin. Juyeon turned towards Sangyeon, seeking for help when Sunwoo suddenly waltzed out of the bathroom on their left, clearly tipsy and very unsteady on his feet ( Already? ).

“Sangyeon-hyung! Woah, I didn’t know you two were dating? Did you finally–”

A loud slap on the back had the tanuki boy choking on his own spit. Sangyeon gave a tight smile, friendly patting the area he had just hit with way too much force which only left Juyeon even more confused.
All that aside, he had to try to speak up, it was clearly a misunderstanding when people around them began to whisper into each other‘s ear.
He could faintly hear their words, his ears only filtering out things he’d rather not want to hear.

„Who is that?“
„Lee Sangyeon is dating someone?“
„He looks good but didn’t think that was Sangyeon’s type.“
„Can’t believe it.“

He didn’t like the attention, it was burdensome. 

They were not a couple, it would be a nuisance for Sangyeon if others would think they are. Look away, please don’t look at me-

His hands began to sweat but no words came out until he felt an arm around him, pulling him close.
Sangyeon took a guiding step, his lips forming a cocky grin and Juyeon found himself following his direction with big eyes. 

“So what if we are?” His smile was playful and light, somehow lifting some weight off Juyeon’s chest and shutting out all the thoughts that had clouded his mind.

The feeling was replaced with a flutter inside and embarrassment, red color creeping to his ears in place. Sangyeon’s fingers were playing with his long hair that had grown over his neck and it tickled, pleasantly. 

People awed at the couple, some finding it cute that Juyeon was being shy about it, others breaking out in further mumbling. Usually, it  would have made everything worse but all of it was drowned out when Sangyeon cheekily grinned at him.

“I guess we are dating for today.”
He whispered, as if sharing a secret meant only for the two of them.

Nothing seemed to make sense anymore, Juyeon lost all understanding, though he was feeling Sangyeon’s warmth even through their cozy sweaters.
His body involuntarily leaned in without an argument and dumbly nodded.

At least no one would try to flirt with him today - that, he took as a win.

+++

“You haven't told me you were dating Sangyeon hyung?” Kevin asked with a scrunched up nose, cornering Juyeon in the hallway where it was surprisingly more quiet. It looked a little hilarious, the blonde kabe-donning him against the wall but Kevin did not care.  

And of course he would be upset, his closest friend would be the first one to know about such news, heck, he hadn’t even told him about the rejection of the other guy because it just felt so bad. It was tough to be an unlucky man in the love department, alright?

He didn't want to get his own, nor anyone's hopes up, was all. Not everyone could be as fortunate as Kevin who had found his soulmate through their common passion in music in their teenage years. 

“I'm not.” he held up his hands in a show of innocence.

“Huh?” 

Juyeon wished he could have laughed at the shocked expression he was faced with, because same, but he couldn’t, really, and just took a sip of his Somaek. 

“But why?” Kevin asked, puzzled.

“I wish I could tell you…” Juyeon mumbled with a shrug. When he was just as clueless as Kevin was, thinking about asking Sangyeon later. Of course there was the possibility that maybe there wasn’t any specific reason at all. In the way Sangyeon said it so playfully, he could have said it because it seemed fun. To shoo others away that might be interested in him too. 

He understood how exhausting things could be when the interest was one-sided.
By looking around the crowd, no matter where they were, people would die for only a small piece of Sangyeon and he couldn’t blame them. 

That was probably it, simply a small joke between two friends. Not a problem ( that’s a lie ).

Now, why was Juyeon playing along with this odd act? 
For one, because he might have the reaction time of a sloth. It all happened too fast for him, he didn’t have enough time to process the situation, let alone say something to defend them.
Second, he was gagged, literally, as apparent as it was. Although the last reason is what stunned him the most and he would never say it out loud. 

He didn’t seem to mind which left him even more stumped but he wasn't ready to consult Moon Kevin about it. Definitely, not yet at least. 

“Then why are you playing along?” Kevin suddenly asked from the off and he was just about to roll his eyes because how the hell could he see right through him? It was embarrassing.

“Juyeon!”

His head perked up at their friend’s voice that interrupted them, thankfully;
he was not ready for that talk anyways. 
It wasn't supposed to be such a big thing, why did his head have to make it bigger than it was?
His overthinking tendencies really need to stop once and for all.

Jaehyun was leaning against the doorframe, a nonchalant expression across his facial features, gesturing with a wave of his hand for him to come over.

“Your boyfriend is being insistently flirted with, you might wanna save him.”

His what, now?  

He still moved to see what Jaehyun was talking about, feline eyes following an invisible trail until they landed on Sangyeon who had seemed to be approached by another friend of Kevin’s. 

Seeing a tall woman chatting off Sangyeon’s ears was nothing unusual, quite normal to be honest. So who knows what spirit suddenly possessed Juyeon, maybe it was Sangyeon’s strained expression that did it but his legs carried him towards the elder like he was a magnet of some sort, the plus to his minus. 

“ Oppa , don't flirt with other girls when I’m right here!” Juyeon’s arms snaked around Sangyeon from behind, leaning against his broad shoulder with his cheek and he let out an exasperated whine.

He felt Sangyeon tense for a brief second until he heard his voice, looking around to find Juyeon who wore an exaggerated pout on his lips.

“I'm not flirting baby, don’t worry. I'm all yours.” There was no shock or disgust at what antic he had just pulled. Instead, Sangyeon fondly smiled at him, putting his arms over Juyeon’s to keep them around himself.

Everyone could hear Haknyeon and Jaehyun fake gagging in the background, Kevin stared at them like he had been smacked across the face. Meanwhile Younghoon and Sunwoo were coughing and sputtering out their drinks dramatically. 

When the attention soon moved to the others causing a scene, Sangyeon used the chance to guide Juyeon towards the balcony, blatantly ignoring the woman’s jaw that hung low to the floor.

As soon as they made it outside, Sangyeon was laughing freely, clutching his stomach and Juyeon had to bite back a giggle.

“Thanks for the save, Juyeon.”
His sincerity was audible.

They took a seat on the wooden bench, which seemed way too expensive for a tattoo artist to get. Juyeon warned him, trying to meddle by telling him what a waste of money it would be. Although, once Kev had his mind on something, he was dead set on it.  

“No problem,” Juyeon easily brushed it off with a wave of his hand, “It seemed like she was bothering you.”

“You have a keen eye,” The older one chuckled without denial before mirth took over his face.
“But oppa ? Really?”

Juyeon flustered, thankful that it was already dark and the surroundings barely shined over them.
There were only a few fairy lights so that the red on his cheeks was hopefully not visible. 

“I- I just thought it would tick her off more!” he tried to clumsily defend himself with a high pitch in his voice.

“I’m just teasing, Juyeonie. And don’t worry, it worked quite well.” A reassuring hand ran over his thigh, the teasing smile melting into a genuine one.
Sangyeon’s gaze was warm, so warm, making him feel just a little bit shy.

Perhaps Juhwan was right. 

Juyeon could enjoy himself a little tonight, even if it was only over such a trivial thing which was Sangyeon simply sitting here, smiling at him. 

If he could describe the oldest with one word, it was safety. It was the impression Sangyeon had given him from the start, a solid base to ground you, to assure you, to protect you and keep you safe from all the bad. 

Juyeon was always grateful but he had just realized how comforting it was today, when they were so close and only between them two, when Sangyeon’s eyes were only on him. They rarely were alone, most of their chats mixed with at least one other person so it was a nice change, to get closer to each other by only a centimeter.

They sat there in silence for some time, voices and music being muffled in the background, watching the clear night sky of Seoul hovering above them.
There was not much to see, no stars, unfortunately. Juyeon loved stargazing but the city lights were too bright for anything to be seen. It was a little sad, perhaps he should ask his parents if they could go on a small camping trip together again next time. 

Or perhaps not because there was a high likelihood of them asking him about his dating status. 

Of course he knew they were only worried, aware how Juyeon sometimes wore a sad smile when they were talking about his cousins who were getting married, while some had been in a long relationship. It wasn’t that he didn’t support their love, he was beyond happy for everyone but it just got to him. Being at a certain age and still alone while everyone around him somehow managed. That’s why they rarely and very gently nudged the topic. 

His thoughts strayed to the person who was sitting beside him, zeroing in on how Sangyeon’s hand was still resting on his thigh and how it made him feel..   

“Should we go back inside?” the soothing voice of Sangyeon brought him back to earth, reality that is.

Would it be selfish of him to say ‘No’?

What would Sangyeon think if Juyeon would ask him to take him away? That’s when he caught himself, stumbling, remembering that they were friends.

He quickly nodded, getting up from the bench. He tried to keep his face even and Sangyeon followed suit, only with a loud groan that resembled an old man’s. It made Juyeon laugh.

“Grandpa,” he teased, earning himself a few, heartfelt pats on the butt from the older male.

Sangyeon announced he needed to use the bathroom, assuring him he should return first. 

“Make sure to come back safely!”

“I will give my best.” Sangyeon cackled so adorably. 

+++

Back in the living area Kevin was staring him down from the other side, making him feel like he would love to turn into dust. Yet Juyeon was a stubborn man himself so his response was staring back with a shrug of his own - not very demure or anything but could he be bothered? No. 

With just a few strides and bumping into others, Kevin was standing right in front of him.

“So you are not dating, huh?”

Juyeon heaved a sigh.

 “ Oppa , huh?” Kevin pushed further with eyebrow wiggles.

“Kevin..” Juyeon grumbled and simultaneously blushed at the reminder- what the heck had gotten into him to do such an embarrassing thing, he didn’t understand either. 

“Wouldn’t have guessed you to be into tha-”

Juyeon slapped Kevin’s upper arm. All for naught because the backlash was harder, that fucking hurt! Kevin and his stupidly massive arms. 

“Geez, what are you made of, stone?!”

Kevin wheezed at the way Juyeon retracted his hand to hold it like he had been just hit by the teacher's punishment stick. 

“Made out of hard work and never skipping a single day of working out.” his best friend puffed his chest with pride, crossing his arms to show off his muscles. 

“You make it really hard for me to argue back, you know?” He scoffed and grabbed a clean glass, filling it up with tap water to gulp it down. 

“But no, I’m actually serious, Juyeon. You two look good together, what do you think about Sangyeon?” The look in Kevin’s eyes changed, turning softer and genuine yet serious, just as his voice became more quiet.

Was he really trying to sell Lee Sangyeon to him? Juyeon didn’t really know how to handle that.

But the question did make him halt for a little because what did he actually think about Sangyeon?

His friend wasn’t someone to beat around the bushes nor joke if it was about romance, he knew best how it was a sensitive topic for Juyeon. Did they really look good together? 

“I haven’t thought about it. I mean- He’s kind and funny,” and he is very attractive as well, but Juyeon decided to keep that thought to himself before his bestie would break out into a series of endless poking,
“But I don’t think he’d be interested in me like that.”

He was one of Sangyeon’s precious dongsaengs and that would be about it and so far that was fine for Juyeon.  

Kevin gaped at him, as if he had just lost his mind. 

“Huh? Why wouldn’t he? Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror? You blind fish, that’s why I told you to wear glasses and stop cheating in the test!” 

Juyeon bit his lip, making a complaining noise,
“You are so mean to me, Kev.” 

The younger only snickered and it made Juyeon grumble even more, making him resemble a hissing cat in tiny. 

A touch and suddenly two hands were on his waist yet he didn’t have to look back to know who it was. 

“Hey, I’m back.” hearing the voice beside his ear made him relax further, a relieved sigh escaping him. A very recent finding stated that Sangyeon and Juyeon just had that effect on each other. 

From the corner of his eye, his best friend seemed way too happy with Sangyeon’s appearance which was a little suspicious. 

“Welcome back, hyung! Quick ted-talk.”

“Yeah?”

Juyeon could instantly tell that he was up to no good by that expression of his. “Ke-” 

“What do you think of Juyeon?” 

The oldest out of the three looked confused,
“Hm? Out of nowhere?” but he took it seriously, visibly beginning to reel over the question as it settled. 

It was mortifying and Juyeon wanted to protest, telling him to ignore their friend but a small part of curiosity took hold of him, irrational but with too much presence. What would Sangyeon have to say about him? 

Kevin flashed him a mischievous and knowing wink.  

As if the oldest had perfectly arranged all the words in his mind, he gave a satisfied nod. 

“Hmm Juyeon is kind, smart and hardworking,” he turned his head towards him with a proud smile. 

“I find it incredible how you always try to see the overall picture with an open mind instead of focussing on only one thing.”

Ah-   

“And I also think his passion for the things he loves is unbeatable. It’s admirable - for dancing back then in the dance club or even for his field of work today as well. He always talks so enthusiastically about it,” Sangyeon continued rambling, “And his energy.. His calm energy is really pleasant, it’s like going for a swim in the sea in the early morning when it is the calmest. I like it.”

The pause that followed between the three after he was done made him realize.
“It’s kind of weird to talk about you, when you are right beside me, right?”

If only he knew Juyeon was burning up in his arms, wondering if Sangyeon could feel it through their matching sweaters when he was holding him so close. The red probably reached his chest as far as he knew his own body but actually, every inch felt hot. 

How could Sangyeon shower him with compliments like that without feeling embarrassed? He was really too sweet of a person. 

“I see, I see.” Kevin sent over another knowing look. 
Oh, how Juyeon wanted to shake him unconscious.
But that was not where it ended.

“Don’t you think he is pretty ?”

The way he empathized the word ‘pretty’ made Juyeon’s cheeks glow even more. That’s what you get when you have a friend who knows what you like to hear in the sheets but how could he backstab him like that?!

Sangyeon blinked and looked up at Juyeon for a few seconds - Juyeon, who could not dare to meet his gaze with the way heat was radiating off his face, his body.

His friends referred to him as an eyecatcher, a tall and handsome guy with a strong build. He was used to people staring him up and down wherever he went, even if he preferred for them to leave him alone. Being openly scrutinized like that by the person who managed to make his heart flutter more than once throughout the night was another story, it gave him the urge to shrink into himself and disappear with a magical ‘poof’ sound. 

“Yeah, Juyeon is really pretty.”
Sangyeon sounded so sure of himself and it made the person of target, Lee Juyeon, feel dizzy. 

Kevin finally nodded, satisfied with the answer,
“Heh I see,” as if he had been the one to receive all those compliments, enjoying it like it was a show to watch while he did not help Juyeon who was visibly, internally combusting.

When Kevin was called over by some others, he bid the two a cheeky farewell, holding a peace sign, leaving Sangyeon and Juyeon to stand there on their own, in the quiet. 

Juyeon made the first move to gently wiggle himself out of the other’s embrace, awkwardly fiddling with the rings on his fingers and eyes darting everywhere but at the person he was speaking to.

“Thank you, for.. saying all of this.”

“Hm? You don’t need to thank me, I just answered Kevin’s questions, is all.” Sangyeon shook his head.

Juyeon really could not comprehend how someone like that could exist, so genuine and real and sweet all at once. He had always thought so about Sangyeon and looked up to him so much from the very beginning. Unlike him, he couldn’t say all of it so casually, even if he was usually the first to praise and reassure someone that they were doing great. It was hard for him to find the precise words sometimes, to convey the right message when he was being misunderstood as cold and rude so many times.   

“I didn’t expect you to be so embarrassed about it.”
the older one’s hand carefully brushed away a few strands of Juyeon’s bangs to the side and for some reason Juyeon had the urge to lean forward, wanting to have Sangyeon brush over his cheek as well. He was strong enough to not do that - his mind in control of his body just fine to not give in. 

“Who wouldn’t be after so many compliments?”
He pouted, trying to run away to hide himself somewhere, anywhere. The attempt was deemed a failure as he felt a hand suddenly have a hold of his wrist to lightly pull him back.

A smile so bright was suddenly in front of him that caused butterflies to roam his stomach. 

How could he have missed that Sangyeon was so handsome? What changed today?

“You are adorable, you know that?” 

“Wha- ah, hyung!” As soon as it caught up to him that Sangyeon was only teasing him, he whined in complaints. 

“Don’t tease me..” His heart was weak, still vulnerable to the touch. Sangyeon wasn’t usually like this to flirt or play around with others, never, would even absolutely dislike others to do so. So why was he doing it now and why with him out of all the people? It confused Juyeon and ugh . Kevin managed to program a bug in his head that made it all the worse. 

“You shouldn’t say that if you don’t mean it.” 

“I do also mean that.” Sangyeon let out a breathy laugh, before leading them to the entryway. Before Juyeon could ask him where they were going but not fighting it either, they were suddenly so close.

“Want to leave this place?” It was such an innocent question, without any intonation of hidden intent but with Sangyeon’s breath fanning over his ear, Juyeon felt like he could explode. His breath felt like it was caught up in his throat, heart racing a mile a second. 

“W-Why?” He dared to tilt his head to be able to see his friend’s expression. It was soft and sweet, beautiful brown eyes staring at him as he was the most precious thing.

“I feel like you don’t really want to be here, so I figured.. Do tell me, if I’m wrong though?”

Juyeon blinked and wondered for a moment if his face had given it away so easily. Sure, he was not the greatest of liars, hell, even one of the worst but he thought he managed to pull it off quite well. But what was even worse was how Sangyeon was looking at him, the same gentle and affectionate smile that never seemed to waver upon seeing Juyeon. 

He felt Sangyeon’s heartbeat under his palms, calm and static. He could still feel Sangyeon’s breath on his skin which sent tingles down his spine, too.
“Yeah, I do want to leave.” 

He was still holding onto his wrist but with Juyeon’s confirmation, he moved down to lace their fingers together, already having reached out to grab their jackets with his other free arm. All of that without taking a single step away from Juyeon, keeping them glued to each other for reasons no one could explain. 

“Alright, let’s get out of here.” He gave Juyeon’s bigger hand a soft, reassuring squeeze before they made their way out without anyone noticing.

In the meantime Juyeon could only focus on their clasped hands as they walked through the door, skin being hit by the cold air of the night. 

The moment was sweet and short, Sangyeon let go and so, the warmth was gone. He twitched to reach out again but he shouldn’t, pressing his hand on his chest to keep him away, a small pout forming on his lips. 

Juyeon quietly pulled over his jacket with a soft ‘Thank you,’ when Sangyeon handed it over. They were now back to strolling down the streets together, the faint chatter from the party fading behind them with each step they took. Once again, they were on their own.

“You okay?” Sangyeon asked, still looking out for him and it made him want to melt away. Juyeon internally cursed Kevin because now he couldn’t stop thinking about what he said. 

“Yeah,” Realising that he had been quiet for quite a long time, he didn’t even pay attention where they were heading to. 

“I’m.. Thanks. For leaving with me. If you wanted to stay, you could have also stayed.”

Sangyeon shook his head and stretched out his arms. 

“It’s fine, Juyeon. I’m glad we can go home together, it was getting a bit stuffy in there anyways.”

He was being way too kind to him today. No, to be honest Sangyeon had always been this sweet towards him but that was simply Sangyeon being Sangyeon. It shouldn’t be something special, Juyeon chided himself, but he sure did feel very special today, not hating it, even preening under the close attention. 

It read minus three degrees, their breath visible upon puffs of clouds. He watched the street lights in awe. Sure, he loved the sun but nothing could ever beat the night view of Seoul with all the lights on and he knew Sangyeon would agree with him. 

“Aren’t you cold, hyung? Your jacket looks a bit thin…” He asked quietly, eyes big with worry.
Taking a step closer to the man beside him, like a crab walking sideways, their arms lightly brushed against each other.  

“It’s fine? I don’t really feel cold. Are you?”
Sangyeon seemed a bit confused at the question, scanning over his own set of clothes and shrugged. 

Juyeon made a silent ‘ Aah’ noise and nodded in response, not wanting to be too whiny. As someone who didn’t break much sweat in high temperatures, the winters were forever his nemesis. 

He used to believe that he was an observant person, someone who had the ability to watch, and predict what the other party was about to do. It was a learning process, something he had acquired back in the days when Juyeon was only a quiet boy in class. He had analyzed patterns and tension within the body language but more in action, not in the emotional aspect.

Though, he did not foresee Sangyeon to suddenly take his hand again. Despite being surprised, Juyeon did not startle away when at this point it nearly felt normal between them. Instead, he indulged in the warmth that the other’s hand was providing for him. 

Sangyeon readjusted their position a little to have a better grip and Juyeon did not question it, even holding onto his friend's hand tighter and making sure that Sangyeon wouldn’t let go so soon. His whole body somehow felt warmer through just such a simple and small touch. He found he liked it.

“Your hand is not cold at all.” Juyeon hummed quietly and let their shoulders touch for a bit, happy with the comforting feeling of their closeness. 

“I don't get cold so easily so you don’t have to worry.” Sangyeon did not let go and pulled him back as soon as he tried to detach himself for just a fraction. 

“Hyung.. is it okay if I tell you something?”
He wasn’t sure what moved him to ask. Maybe because it felt like he was naturally gravitating towards Sangyeon today. Thankfully, Sangyeon didn’t complain and always took the first step towards him, as if he was encouraging Juyeon to come closer and closer.

"Of course.” giving him curious eyes.

Juyeon was endlessly grateful.

“I got.. dumped yesterday,” the younger muttered quietly but loud enough for it to be audible in the alleys for Sangyeon to hear. 

For a brief moment, the words hung low in the air, feeling almost heavy. The older one stood still, wide eyes staring up at him. He was  taken aback, Juyeon could feel their fingers slipping away from each other but he desperately held back onto him. 

He didn’t quite get why but he felt the need to explain himself fast. 

“We just went on a couple of dates so it was nothing serious,” Juyeon began, “But the way he did it.. It got to me.” It was difficult to admit but that was the truth.

Yet that was still beside his point.

“I kind of lost confidence, I think. There are other things too, that made me feel unlike myself but your words.. They helped me a lot even if you were just exaggerating," Juyeon offered a bright smile, engulfing Sangyeon’s hand with his own two, hoping he would not pull away this time either. 

“Thank you for taking care of me today, hyung.” 

Sangyeon was watching him, listening with a thoughtful expression. They had rare moments like these - Juyeon waiting for Sangyeon to respond, to give a reaction. A nice change of pace that he didn’t mind. 

He let out a breath of relief when he felt the other’s hand was taking his again.  

“Whatever that guy did, fuck him,”
Sangyeon then huffed.

Never would he have seen the sweet but stern Lee Sangyeon to curse someone like that out of nowhere.

“I’m sure he had his reason.”
Juyeon argued for whom exactly?

“Surely but there is no reason to make someone feel less of themselves.” Sangyeon tugged him to continue walking and he obediently followed. 

“.. Are you angry?” It wasn’t hard to tell that something was wrong so he carefully prompted.

The older immediately shook his head, “Not at you,” and it felt like he wanted to say ‘Never at you’ but perhaps it was just Juyeon’s head playing further tricks on him.  

“You are too kind, Juyeonie. I know you don’t like to show it to others but you are sensitive. They can use it easily and the thought makes my blood boil. You deserve better than that.” 

He never knew that Sangyeon was so attentive to him. 
Sure, they were all fairly close with each other but Juyeon never openly admitted out loud how the things others say or do can affect him a lot. He was used to brushing it off with a little smile or a short ‘haha’, even if often it was in fact hurtful, as flimsy and small as it could be. Everyone sort of were aware but he did not expect for Sangyeon to know.

The fact that Sangyeon was feeling so strongly, to be angry on his behalf made him feel warm and bubbly inside. However, he did not like to see him frown like that.  

“Don’t be angry, hyung? It’s not worth it.”
He said with a soft voice, trying to lighten up the mood a little, “Besides, you look way more handsome when you smile.” 

Sangyeon blinked, needing a second as Juyeon watched in anticipation, surprised by his own boldness. Usually he would say it so freely but today it felt different, everything felt different between them but in a good way. 

Sangyeon’s shoulders were loosening up as his expression shifted into something more light.

“Oh, really?” The corner of his mouth twitched slightly upwards. “Are you saying I’m not handsome the rest of the time?” 

Juyeon playfully rolled his eyes, glad that his attempt at humor worked.
“You know that’s not what I’m saying..” 

He bumped their shoulders again in affection as he hoped that Sangyeon would get it and in the way he was smiling at him, it did. 
“It’s just… seeing you upset over me, I don’t know. It feels nice, thank you.”

Sangyeon exhaled, “I just care about you.” 
Now why did he look at him as he was the most precious thing in the world, still. 

At this point Juyeon could not blame himself for being delusional, that was all Sangyeon’s doing and not his fault.

“Don’t get shy on me now, Juyeon-ah.” The older one laughed and it only made things worse, Juyeon’s ears feeling like they were on fire. 

“Am not..” He grunted which was the worst lie made on planet earth ever, hiding half of his face under his fluffy scarf. 

They were nearing his apartment by that time and he wondered if he ever told Sangyeon where he lived. 

Usually, they would gather at either Kevin’s, Eric’s or Younghoon’s place because of space - Juyeon’s was simply too small, just enough for one person to live there and to have another over.

“Hyung, where are we going?” he asked, confused.

“What do you mean, where are we going? We are heading home.”

Well, that made kind of sense as they did mention it before leaving Kevin’s place.

“Uhm.. I guess we live in the same direction. I live around here, actually.”

“I do, too.” Sangyeon gave him a funny look, cocking his head to the side. 

Juyeon blinked, the signature double blink with a tilt of his head, as well. “You do?”

Apparently Sangyeon had recently moved here to be closer to his workplace. It was a quiet neighborhood and much cheaper than where he used to live. All the points he explained were fair reasoning to Juyeon. 

Who would have ever thought for their parents to be friends and for them to be neighbors? Sangyeon was actually living in the same building, only two floors beneath Juyeon. He did tell him that he went to the party from his sister’s place, that also explains why they randomly met on their way to Kevin’s place. 

He moved in about two weeks ago, the contract signed another week prior so it wouldn’t be a surprise for the two to have not crossed paths yet, especially considering their different working hours. 

It felt like the universe was pulling them closer to each other, naturally, as if it should’ve been that way all this time. Or perhaps Juyeon pondered, he was just being a dreamy romantic who has never experienced true love.  

“We could sometimes go on a walk or a run together if you want to, now that we are neighbors.” Sangyeon suggested, still not letting go of his hand as they were now standing in front of his apartment. 

“That sounds nice, let’s do that.” Juyeon nodded eagerly, happy that Sangyeon wanted them to see each other again. 

Privately, only the two of them.

Today was filled with so many coincidences, starting with meeting on the streets for them to head to the party together, leading to fleeting touches and forms of flirting to be holding hands until now.
The night was ending and with it, so would their intimate yet innocent closeness.

Juyeon found himself not wanting it to end but was unable to openly tell him so. Sangyeon wouldn’t judge him, that he had made very clear today already - he just didn’t want to come off as clingy, he was never the type to be clingy or overly affectionate despite wanting to at times, recalling the words said to him boring, annoying.

“Goodnight, hyung.”
“Sweet dreams, Juyeon.”

They hesitantly let go of each other. 

It was endearing how Sangyeon waved him goodbye until Juyeon reached the stairs, barely out of sight. 

+++

When he entered his own apartment, the entryway lit up in warm hues. He let the door slowly fall shut behind him, leaning onto it for another breath, holding his hand with the other to his mouth with a sigh. 

Closing his eyes, Juyeon’s heart still beat a tad bit faster than usual. He was already missing the warmth of Lee Sangyeon but had to simply accept that it was the end.  

+++

He couldn’t find himself to fall asleep. 

He sat on his couch, teeth brushed, skin cleansed, body washed and creamed - unable to read a book or watch a series or movie because of the inability to focus.

His mind drifted back to Sangyeon no matter what he was trying to distract himself with, his mind wandering to what today entailed. What every little thing from today meant to him, what it meant to Sangyeon, too or if it even meant something to Sangyeon. Brooding over it alone seemed to be burdenful so he considered texting Kevin about it but he quickly decided against it. 

Juyeon dropped his phone in defeat. The party was probably still going strong, so there was nothing he could quite do about that. 

He held onto a big pillow that looked a little like a golden retriever, a granted gift from his little brother. Another sigh into the soft material left him, which felt like the nth time. 

The most reasonable thing to do is to just confront Sangyeon but whenever he thought about it, he wanted to crawl under his bed. It could’ve been a one time thing so instead he should wait for their next meeting to see how it goes from there on.

“But that could take such a long time..” Juyeon pouted and proceeded to groan into the plushie, flopping to his side. Not having anyone to talk about it was horrible. 

An odd noise echoed through his apartment and then it was black. Everything went dark. 

He tilted his head slightly, trying to make sense out of it. No, he just didn’t gracefully fall asleep, he was still sitting wide awake on his couch as he had just moped about his undefined feelings for a certain friend of his. 

The clock that hung over his TV was ticking and ticking and it took some time for him to process.

Why were the lights suddenly out?!

Juyeon scrambled up, slowly, not to trip over anything with his clumsy ass while his eyes were gradually adapting to the dark.

He went to the lightswitch first, trying to turn it on and off several times - nothing. 

“Okay..” His legs were swiftly carrying him to the powerbox located in his tinyass hallway, turning on his phone’s flashlight to have a look on the inside, again turning the switches on and off - still nothing.  

No fucking way.  

Juyeon checked the heaters  he turned on when he got home, they were still off which explained why he was so cold for the time he had been home. His thermometer read twelve degrees celsius and that was way too fucking cold. 

Nearly half an hour later, it was useless to have any hope for the power to turn on by itself. He decided there to call the emergency number for their apartment complex “You will have to wait until the coming Monday.”  

It was a disappointing response to say the least.

Which made sense, considering it was the weekend - only if Juyeon wasn’t sitting here, freezing . 

Technically he would be able to make it with maybe six layers of clothing and a pile of blankets but that was bullshit.

Now what?

+++

That was how Juyeon ended up standing in front of Sangyeon’s apartment at 2:17AM in his chikawa pajamas, a blanket around his shoulders and his golden retriever pillow in his arms.
If it was way too cold in his apartment, he should have known that he would have died standing outside, but he had not thought that far ahead.

Obviously, he felt sorry to wake Sangyeon up at such an ungodly hour but this was the only thing that came to his mind. It took only one ring of the bell when said man slowly opened his door. Juyeon’s eyeballs would have fallen out if they could at the sight presented to him. 

Sangyeon was... naked.
Not entirely naked, he was wearing underwear and an open night coat but that was it. His bare torso visible to his bad eyes was not good for Juyeon’s heart. 

“Juyeon?” The older man slowly tried to blink himself awake, tiredly confused as to why he would be standing in front of his door at this hour out of nowhere. 

“Is something wrong?” Although he was very tired, he acted quickly and pulled Juyeon inside, “Come inside, it’s freezing.”

It wasn’t easy to come here for Juyeon at all, with all his thoughts and feelings swirling, his nerves wrecking him. He felt like combusting but he somehow made it and was here now, squirming in front of Sangyeon.

 “I’m sorry for coming so late..” feeling the other’s eyes on him made him want to disappear but he stood his ground. Quickly explaining his dilemma Juyeon asked, “C-can I sleep at your place? Just until Monday, please?”

The silence that followed caused him to regret his decision. It stretched out longer than he had expected, his heart was pounding in his chest. Juyeon played with the hem of his pajamas, his finger trembling a little as he tried to keep himself from spiraling deeper. 

Why did I even think this was a good idea? 

His cheeks flushed, heat creeping up his neck as doubts started to eat at him.
“I’m sorry, hyung, I-” He stammered clumsily, always so goddamn clumsy, forcing a weak smile to cover the embarrassment that overcame him.
“It’s fine, I will just go-”

He was tripping to turn away to the front door but this was the second time it was happening today, feeling a hand stop him, gently tugging him back against a firm chest. One thing was different though and it made a huge difference. This was Sangyeon’s bare chest. Help.

“Where are you going? Of course you can sleep here, you would freeze to death if I let you go back.”

If a human being could deflate in relief, that would be Juyeon right now. Sangyeon was so good to him, it made him unsure what to do with himself as it seemed like he wouldn’t do this for others so easily. If it was only for him, did that mean something?

He muttered a small ‘thank you’, carefully removing himself from the heat that Lee Sangyeon emitted (was he a furnace?!). 

In the corner of his eyes, he spotted a tiny couch, fast to suggest “I can sleep on the couch, then.” 

Their eyes met and there it was again, an expression crossing Sangyeon’s features that Juyeon could not pinpoint. 

“The couch is too small for you,” Sangyeon argued with a raised brow, now fully awake, “You can sleep on my bed, it’s big enough for us two to fit in.” 

In summary, he left no chance of resistance from Juyeon’s side which worked out fine because it did shut Juyeon up - especially after Sangyeon pulled him into his bedroom. 

The apartment was, to be expected, about his own apartment’s size, decorated neatly and cleanly with dark  wooden furniture, small warm lights all around. Although Sangyeon had just moved in, it already had a welcoming ambience.
It was cozy and fit so well with Sangyeon’s energy, a perfect representation of how he is able to make others feel around him with his mere presence.

He was idly sitting on Sangyeon’s bed, his eyes skimming his bedroom before they landed back on Sangyeon who climbed into the bed beside him, handing him over some water.

Juyeon accepted the bottle with both his hands, taking a few sips. He must have been looking like he had a stick up his ass with how tense he was but who could blame him? He could hardly believe he was here, in Sangyeon’s bed where everything smelled like Sangyeon, soft hints of laundry freshener with a subtle, familiar warmth.

“Relax, Juyeonie,” Sangyeon spoke softly and lifted the blanket, patting the spot beside him, “It’s late, so let’s just go to sleep.” Embarrassing, the way he saw right through him and then, another thought hit him.  

Great, there was only one big blanket. 

Juyeon nodded mutely with a short moment of hesitation before he pulled the blanket over his shoulders to lay down. 

Even worse, Sangyeon took off his night robe.
He internally was thanking the high heavens when the light was turned off. 

If he couldn’t fall asleep an hour ago, it was unlikely he could fall asleep now with a topless Sangyeon beside him. 

The room was quiet and he tried to focus on counting sheeps, lost track too quickly. He moved to trying to listen into the faint sounds of the night outside but there was nothing, they were living in the middle of nowhere, so it didn’t work either of course. 

All he could think about was how close Sangyeon was. 
It was soothing in a way, and yet his heart would not stop to do stupid flips. 

Why now out of all the past times they had seen each other? Was Juyeon’s heart so easy?
Was it because he was currently vulnerable?
He wasn’t sure but he felt safe and no one besides his parents could ever make him feel that way before, not even his closest friends so what did that mean? 

Minutes passed with the moonlight shining through the little gap between Sangyeon’s curtains, acting as their only company in the night. Juyeon was staring at nothing in particular, stubbornly turned away to fight the urge to look over to Sangyeon. He was still cold, the chill clinging to his skin and insistent to not let go so he shifted a bit with a sigh, shivering a little. 

Finally, he turned the slightest, curling in on himself as he dared to peek over at Sangyeon’s peaceful side profile. His breathing was slow but not quite even yet. Sangyeon was also still awake. Juyeon had quietly watched him for a while, wondering why the other wasn’t saying anything and let him do as he pleased.  

Swallowing down a lump, he reached out, hesitantly brushing his pinky against Sangyeon’s underneath their shared blanket. He let it linger, surprised once more how such light contact could feel so strangely grounding. His heart was finally settling down from the chaos, escaping from all the overwhelming thoughts that had just messed with his mind. As he started to lace their pinkies together, he felt Sangyeon stir, a sleepy grunt escaping him. 

Sangyeon glanced down before looking back up at him with a gentle, questioning smile. 

“I’m cold, hyung..” Juyeon felt his cheeks warm, letting a soft whisper of his voice cut through the nightly quiet. 

Without another word, Sangyeon hummed in understanding, opening up his arms with an encouraging nod and weary eyes to invite him closer. And for once Juyeon did not hesitate, letting himself be drawn into the warmth of Sangyeon’s embrace. 

He heaved out a content sigh, at last feeling all the pent-up tension melt away from his muscles. 

“Better?” Sangyeon’s arms were around him, leaving no space between their two bodies. 

“Much better.” Juyeon mumbled.

Sangyeon was so warm, he felt like a heater, making the cold from a few seconds ago feel so distant now.

After a while their breathing settled, feeling almost in sync and Juyeon blinked up. Sangyeon’s eyes were watching him and their faces were so close, lips just a few away from meeting. A reassuring hand was placed on his neck, caressing gently, lovingly and Juyeon couldn’t help but to lean into the touch with a satisfied sound leaving him. 

The smile that Sangyeon sent him was so pretty, it was knocking the breath out of him.

He doesn't know who did it first, they probably both went for the small leap but he was in no place to complain when this is what he had thought about for the past couple of hours. 

He closed his eyes with a small hum and Sangyeon’s lips were finally on his. It was gentle, it was sweet, it was the gentlest kiss he had ever received and it was everything Juyeon could only dream of. Sangyeon graciously took the lead and he happily let him with a shaky breath. 

The older one’s hand moved to his scalp, running through Juyeon’s hair - the softest contact of nails caused an unexpected whine to escape him. 

“Ah-” he blushed as he quickly pulled away.

Sangyeon, the saint that he was, only chuckled.

“I-I’m sorry- that was,” Flustered, Juyeon tried to explain yet failed.

A sudden peck to his lips made him let out a high-pitched noise which made him feel more ashamed.

“You are so cute.” 

“Wha-” He was about to say something, anything but his brain decided to forget what it was as soon as he was shut up by another kiss. 

Sangyeon pulled him back in and it made him want to fall. Juyeon’s body naturally gave in, as if it was written in scripts to comply with whatever Sangyeon could do. 

He was well aware of his slightly submissive tendencies and embraced them if the other party would allow him to so he let go. 

Juyeon slowly draped one leg over Sangyeon, instinctively, reasoning with himself that the position was simply more convenient. It felt more intimate.
They could be closer, closer than they had ever been before and he wanted that. 

It was a little flustering, the smacking sound of their lips and shuffling sheets whenever they tilted and shifted. 

Juyeon could feel his breath being literally taken away, he felt dizzy but it felt good and he wanted more, gasping for quick breaths in between, listening to Sangyeon’s shortened as well. 

They continued until Sangyeon’s strong arms all of a sudden pulled Juyeon on top of him for his long legs to rest on both of the older one’s sides. The change of position immediately made him feel self-conscious, causing him to pull away, pushing carefully against Sangyeon’s bare chest. 

“H-hyung, don’t, I’m heavy…”

But Sangyeon didn't seem to mind at all, shaking his head. “Not heavy at all,” caressing his waist and hips.
Juyeon turned into pudding, feeling warm all over as they resumed to share more open mouthed kisses, pleasure overtaking his insecurities. 

When they parted they were both flushed, panting but also, so very tired.

“Good?” Sangyeon asked with a soft expression, hugging him for Juyeon to be able to nuzzle his neck. And he could only nod, brain fuzzy and now fatigue taking over his body as well. 

Sangyeon hummed, satisfied. 

He placed one more kiss on top of Juyeon’s head - both of them silently agreeing that it would be wise to get some rest and talk more tomorrow. And Juyeon?
He couldn’t wait.

♡♡♡♡♡

Juhwan dropped whatever he held in his hands, jaw on the floor at the sight of his older brother entering the hospital’s room with a gorgeous man trailing close behind him. 

“Close your mouth, Juhwan. Manners.”
Juyeon chided like a mother would do and gently guided his mouth to do as he had told. 

“Who is this?” He swallowed. 

The two men shared a look, blinking, before Sangyeon introduced himself properly with a shake of his hand and a very handsome smile.

“My name is Lee Sangyeon, an older alumni of Juyeon’s university, it's nice to meet you.”

Wait, wasn’t that a friend of Juyeon he told him about years ago? Well, based on the shy cat smile he was sending Juhwan, their new relationship status was crystal clear. 

Sangyeon graciously took out some boxes filled with food, explaining how they had cooked something for the youngest to eat. “Thank you…” he accepted them into his hands with a bow.

He did not say a thing when he saw Sangyeon’s hand resting on Juyeon’s back in the mirror’s reflection behind them. They were chatting with each other and based on how his brother was watching the man called Lee Sangyeon with so much adoration swimming in his eyes, Juhwan could tell that this was different. 

Juhwan had never seen him like that before with someone, familiar as if the two had known each other for so long, as if they had been lovers for a lifetime - as if Juhwan did not exist right now, sitting right in front of them. 

The same could be said about Sangyeon, he looked absolutely whipped, like his vision was blending out everything that existed besides Juyeon. 

If he didn't know better, he could already hear the wedding bells ringing in the background. 

“I told you to go and find the love of your life but I did not expect you to manage to do so within a week, hyung.”

“Ya, Lee Juhwan!” Juyeon halted, his eye twitched.   

“Oh, you were searching for the love of your life?” Sangyeon smiled, amused. 

Juhwan deliberately closed his eyes when he saw his brother’s boyfriend’s hand wander further down just to tease but still, that was a very bold move in front of Juyeon’s family for a first time meeting.

The allegation was declined with an embarrassed groan.

“I did not!” Juyeon slapped Sangyeon’s hand away.
He told both of them to stop teasing him before he found a quick excuse to get some water for the three to escape, sending his brother an adorable glare to which Juhwan only chuckled with a salute. 

Well, now that he was left with Juyeon’s newly acquired boyfriend, it was time to pull his little brother card out. If not now, then when? 

“You really like Juyeonie-hyung, don’t you?” 

The man in question turned towards him. There was no surprise in his eyes, no embarrassment evident whatsoever, just pure happiness radiating off him.
He confidently nodded to Juhwans question with softness in his eyes, it was borderline sappy. 
“I do.” and it sounded as if he had been longing for Juyeon for a long time.  

Juhwan exhaled in relief, happy for the two but also the question floating in his head how clueless his brother must’ve been to have not noticed such a man crushing on him.

“Treat him well, okay? Hyung always tries to act tough but he is fragile.” to which Sangyeon chuckled with another knowing nod. As protective as Juyeon was about family, so were they. 

“I will.” His tone was serious despite the smile he gave Juhwan.  

“You will what, hyung?” Juyeon came in with doe eyes, through the room’s door with three bottles of water. 

“Nothing.” Sangyeon derived the conversation, placing a chaste kiss on his older brother’s cheek, clearly happy that they didn’t have to be so subtle about their affection anymore. 

Seeing Juyeon lovey dovey with his lover someday was definitely not on Juhwan’s agenda. He never had to, considering all those assholes his hyung brought home.

Maybe it was only a phase? Based on how they looked together, that was not the case. 

I guess I just have to get used to this.

As long as Juyeon was happy, that was all that mattered and he had a good feeling about this. Their parents will absolutely cheer hearing about the news as he was watching the couple interact in such a sweet way though he wouldn’t push until Juyeon would be ready to introduce Sangyeon to all of them officially.

Happiness had always fit his brother better, after all.