Chapter Text
Screw. His. Damn. Luck.
Not only where they are going to be stuck in this tiny and quite filthy outpost for the next three days, but the room the captains and the commander were to share only had three beds. That meant that two of them were to share the bed and it was determined that the decision will be done by drawing sticks. Of course, he had to be one of the losers. And of, fucking course, the other loser was Hange.
Although at first when they found out the room has less beds than they needed, Hange had offered to just go sleep in the women's sleeping quarters, Erwin refused her proposal - they didn't bring any spare sleeping bags and that wasn't an option.
"Looks like we'll be the ones cuddling, Levi~" Hange laughed as she pointed the short straws the two of them have drawn and pinched Levi by the cheek.
"In your dreams, four eyes." Levi pulled himself aside rubbing his cheek "You smell like titan breath."
All the pointless bickering aside, within a few minutes everyone had taken their place in bed. Levi lied on his back awkwardly, only occasionally taking a quick glimpse of Hange next to him. She seemed so calm, as if it wasn't a big deal, and if there was nothing between them it probably wouldn't have been a big deal. But unfortunately that was not the case for Levi and he both hated and envied her for being able to just go about it pretending nothing had happened in just recently.
How long had it been? Certainly not long enough for her to forget. In fact, it probably was barely 3 weeks since the "accident" that turned Levi's whole world upside down.
It was a peaceful day and also one of the rare moments they weren't running around doing God knows what. Levi was enjoying a cup of tea in the quiet atmosphere of the headquarters' garden, which at the time was completely empty.
Despite the peaceful atmosphere, his thoughts were nothing but a chaotic mess. Regardless of what he did to distract himself, his thoughts drifted back to her. Hange. Of all people, why her? It had all started when he first joined the Scouts. Back then, he'd thought she was insufferable, her lively energy and bizarre experiments always managed to get on his nerves. But somewhere amidst her wild gestures, the constant teasing she subjected him to and the endless monologues about titans and what not, he'd caught himself beginning to think that weird passion of hers was so adorable. It was an involuntary reaction, and he'd dismissed it as nothing more than amusement at her eccentricity but damn it, the feelings weren't fading and with time they were only getting worse and worse.
He couldn't tell exactly when it stopped being mere tolerance and turned into... whatever this was. He had no idea what to call it as he had never felt this way about anyone else. A crush? No. It couldn't be. That was nonsense. Ridiculous. Levi frowned at the thought, gripping his teacup tighter. He didn't like Hange. He refused to. She was a comrade, a friend, and a very annoying one at that, nothing more.
As if summoned by his thoughts, suddenly he was startled by the door, leading from the inside into the garden, opening loudly - it was Hange, who walked in as if she owned the place and sat, or rather dropped herself, down on the chair next to his.
"Leviii, whoever who killed Sawney and Beane, please promise that we'll make them pay big time." She whined as she lied her head on the table.
"Are you still weeping over those stupid titans? Didn't they manage to get you a new one you can play with?" Levi responded, trying his best to put on his usual expressionless face and push aside all the thoughts that were running through his head just a second ago.
"That's not the problem.. With the new one it is as if I have to start the whole experiment all over again! Plus we still need a second one. You know, so we can have something to compare with."
"I see." Levi sipped from his tea.
A brief moment of silence passed before Hange suddenly raised her head up. A playful grin on her lips.
"You know, that new titan they brought, it kinda looks like you. And that's not helping at all... Are you sure you are not related?" She teased Levi.
"Wh-" Levi nearly spit his tea. "How could you even compare me to such an ugly thing"
"Well, to be fair, you are very different as well." Hange quickly added and then blushed "For starters, you are much smaller and much more adorable."
Levi looked at her in disbelief, unsure if this was still part of her stupid joke. "Adorable" was the last word he expected someone to say in address to him. Unbeknownst to him, his face had turned bright red.
"Aw, and whenever you get all flustered like this, you only make yourself even more irresistible." Hange moved her chair a bit closer to Levi's, reached out and pinched his cheek. This was a gesture she did often and it usually pissed him off, but somehow this time it felt different.
He would usually flinch as soon as he felt her hand on his cheek, but this time he didn't. And nor did she take her hand off soon after like normal. It seemed like an awkward situation yet none of them truly felt any awkwardness, as they just looked into each other's eyes in silence.
"Levi... Would you mind if I... Kiss you?" Hange was the one to break the silence, but she did not wait for a response.
All Levi could muster before he felt her lips on his was a confused 'eh'. Her lips gently met his - an experience Levi had never had, despite his age. The kiss was quick, although not rushed. Hange ended up letting it last a little longer than initially planned - enough to feel the slight press of her lips against his and the sweet scent of the tea.
Levi's brain short-circuited. His eyes went wide as he sat frozen in place. By the time he realized what had happened, Hange had already pulled back, a smug, satisfied smile on her face.
"W. . . what was that for?" Levi asked completely bewildered by what just happened.
"Just further proving my point." Hange responded "Also, contrary to popular belief, I don't go out kissing titans and I definitely don't want to marry one... Oh, and I also prefer my men to be on the rather short side too. Plus, you looked like you needed that."
"You're insane." Levi muttered, his mind still unable to process the events.
"I'm not the one blushing ear to ear~" Hange quickly placed another kiss on Levi's forehead before he could react and then got up. "Well, see you around."
She left the garden leaving Levi alone. No matter how much he tried, he could not shake off the feeling of Hange's lips on his. And her words. It is quite normal for Hange to spill out the most random things at times but somehow what she said seemed intentional? He just couldn't quite place it and explain exactly why it felt that way. Now thanks to her once again, he had more things confusing and weighing on his mind.
Hange never mentioned that moment again. Neither did Levi, although he so much wanted to bring it up. She went on as usual. Levi tried to, but in reality he couldn't. He never stopped thinking of that kiss, his desire to feel her gentle lips on his again growing stronger with every passing day. Whenever he saw her, that was all he could think of and as such he tried to avoid her the best he could, although without much success.
And here he was now - having to share a bed with her. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't have minded doing so at all - he wouldn't have cared less whom he got to share the bed with. But with Hange acting as if nothing ever happened between them, things were somehow so weird.
Levi lied awake for a while, trying his best not to think about the kiss and to forget about the person beside him completely. And it was mostly working until he took a quick look around: Hange was dozing off facing him on the side of the bed next to the wall. Stupid four-eyes! Why did she have to be so pretty and so nice and- Shut up! He mentally yelled at his thoughts, but as much as he hated it, his progress was already destroyed, his mind had wandered back to what he tried to avoid thinking of.
Maybe... a quick kiss wouldn't hurt? It might help her stop pretending that nothing happened before. He took a look around - Mike was lying on the bed closest to theirs with his back to them. He couldn't see Erwin on the farthest bed but by the faint sound of snoring he would guess that the commander was already asleep. Levi was still unsure with himself but it was as if his body acted on his own. He turned to his side to face Hange and slowly moved closer to her...
He couldn't do it. It was a terrible idea anyway. What was he thinking? He was about to back away but Hange shifted gently and placed an arm around him. Levi's face instantly grew red and he froze in place. What was happening to him? He wanted to run away yet at the same time Hange's embrace was so soothing... He couldn't. Awkwardly, he mimicked her action and placed an arm around her too, slowly letting himself rest against her.
******
"Looks like someone's been having good dreams last night!" Mike's cheerful booming voice interrupted Levi and Hange's sleep in the morning.
Levi didn't even realize when he had fallen asleep last night. It took him awhile to process the words spoken to him, or even remember where or who he was, when he woke up. That was definitely the best sleep he had had in a while - maybe even in his entire life. But as soon as he realized what was happening he jumped up almost falling off the bed in the process.
"I'd guess so." Hange yawned as she reached out to take her glasses from the table next to the bed "Shorty's been clinging to me all night."
"That's... because it was cold during the night, okay?" Levi, face all red, responded in his defense.
"It was like 25 degrees." Mike teased him.
"Well, I was cold!" With this Levi rushed out of the room.
The rest of the day went fairly normal for Levi, apart from the occasional joke from Mike or Hange about last night, with Hange even asking if he would like some more cuddles - which at that point Levi couldn't tell if she was joking or the offer was serious. Or perhaps it was just him, deep down wishing it was.
That night, Levi sat alone in the dimly lit outpost kitchen with a cup of tea, which unfortunately did little to calm his nerves. Hange’s teasing from earlier replayed in his head and just left him wondering if she was just being Hange, or was there something more? How much he wished she would just speak to him instead of being so weird. Apparently, this was one way in which they were alike: that being that they weren't very skilled at expressing their feelings.
Levi started into the murky liquid in his cup, not thinking of anything in particular anymore - his mind was too tired from all of it. It felt as if he was almost dozing off in his seat, and perhaps if it wasn't for the sound of approaching footsteps, which saved him from dropping face down on the table into his cup, he would have. He looked around to see Erwin had just entered the room. He had woken up randomly and upon noticing that Levi was still missing, he thought perhaps he shall check on him.
"Levi," he said, his tone calm but firm, "you’re still up? It’s late. You’re not going to do anyone any good tomorrow if you’re sleep-deprived."
Levi muttered a quiet "I'm fine", as the commander sat across the table from him.
"If sharing a bed with Hange is bothering you that much, I could take your place and you can take my bed." Erwin leaned back slightly, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as he said that.
"No. It's fine." Levi raised his head and, probably for the first time since Erwin entered the room looked him in the eyes.
"Are you sure? It won't be any trouble-"
"I said no. You’re not sharing a bed with her." Levi cut him off rather sharply but just as fast, he realized how jealous these words sounded, he turned his face away, hoping Erwin hasn't noticed the faint blush across his cheeks.
"I see..." Erwin muttered mostly to himself. "Well, sitting here and sulking won't do you any good. Regardless, you can’t just stand here all night like some kind of owl. Stop acting like a bratty kid and go to bed."
Levi did not respond to that, opting to continue avoid eye contact.
"You should know, it's not your fault, nor her fault." Erwin sighted "It's no one's fault really. You don't always get to decide who you catch feelings for."
His words seemed to have caught Levi's attention as he looked up.
"Anyway, go to bed, Levi." Erwin said as he was getting up, but just as he was about to leave the room Levi's voice stopped him.
"Wait...You know?" He asked.
"Well, you're not very subtle about it." Erwin shrugged in response.
"You can be very nosey sometimes, you know?" Levi blushed and averted his gaze again.
"It's just part of my job." After saying this, the commander left the room and Levi was alone in the silence again.
Erwin's earlier offer to change places however just made Levi realize that if it so happened that anyone else but him ended up having to share the bed with Hange, he might have found himself in an even worse situation. So regardless, although not the best outcome, it seemed to be a better one. He never thought he would be the jealous type but alas, it seemed to be the case.
But with that, he decided to do as requested and head to bed. When he entered the room, he was greeted by Hange already sleeping calmly in the middle of the bed.
"Hey, four eyes." He said as he messed her hair to wake her up "Move, you've taken over the whole bed."
Hange just sleepily moved over turning to face the wall while at the same time making space for Levi.
******
Wait, Erwin knows??
The realization hit him like a truck the next day. After yesterday night's conversation, Levi had calmed down regarding his worries over his crush, but it seemed that another has awoken. How had Erwin figured it out? The commander had always been sharp. He knew Levi so well and could read him like an open book despite how little emotion he expressed.
His words.. "You should know, it's not your fault, nor her fault... It's no one's fault really. You don't always get to decide who you catch feelings for." This was not just something completely random he said. He said this for a reason.
Levi's mind drifted back to conversations they'd had months ago, wondering if somewhere, somehow he had slipped. Erwin had said something once about how if Levi didn’t know how to express his feelings, maybe he could try writing them down. At the time, Levi had thought it was stupid, but now, he recalled that he actually did attempt to do so.
One night, when he was tormented by these same feelings, he did not know what to do and decided to give the commander's suggestion a chance. He remembers he wrote down whatever it was on his mind - what he felt about Hange and his frustration with all these messed feelings. It was clumsy, embarrassing, even quite repetitive as he recalls writing the same phrases a few times.
What happened with that paper though? He recalls getting frustrated and embarrassed over what he wrote, so he tore the page out of the notebook. He was ready to shred it to pieces, but then he froze and just looked at it. Yes, he was ashamed of all that was on it, but it felt so real. He couldn't do it. He couldn't destroy it so he only crumbled it and threw it away.
But after that, he does not recall ever stumbling upon this paper again. He had even forgotten about it until now. His heart sank. Had someone found it? Had Erwin seen it? The thought alone made Levi's face flush with panic. It was a stupid thing to do, and now it was missing, and he had no idea who might have seen it.
“Damn it…” he muttered under his breath. The last thing he needed was more things to worry about. And yet, he couldn't shake the feeling that that damning piece of paper had reached a certain someone... That said someone, had already figured him out.