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The stench of blood was thick in the air. It made the General wrinkle his nose, made him cringe as it coated the back of his throat, and it made him gag discreetly. His troops had stop screaming a long time ago, but their pain was still echoing around his head, drowning out any thoughts he might have had in the past half hour.
He was sat at the table in his tent, staring blindly at his hands. They had been scrubbed red raw, but there was still blood congealing under his nails and around his cuticles.
Suddenly, Hux became aware of the tears that streamed from his face.
They fell onto the thick boots that he wore, making soft thudding noises with each one. He stared until the dust on his boots had almost been completely washed off.
Finally, finally, he managed to stand up, taking deep breaths. He dipped his hands into the bowl of water he had previously washed his hands in, and gently rubbed the now lukewarm water around his eyes. He checked himself in the mirror, straightened his jacket and took another breath before he left his tent.
The stench of burning flesh hit him like a brick wall, and his eyes widened. He turned around to stare at the billowing plume of thick black smoke curling into the darkening red sky.
“It’s the bodies of the enemy, Sir.”
“Stop it immediately.”
“Sir?”
General Brendon Hux spun around, staring at his assistant. “I said stop it. Deliver the bodies back to their ranks. Every family deserves to bury their own.”
The assistant bowed her head and rushed off to the large bonfire. Hux watched her order the men about before he turned away, heading towards the TIE Fighter that had been sent for him.
It didn’t take him too long to climb into it, wrapping his greatcoat tightly around him.
As they took off, he stared out at the destruction his troops had helped create.
Bodies were littered everywhere, fires were burning, and the previously green grass was now red – burned in patches, completely torn up, and the old grass had been watered with the blood of men.
Good men that didn’t deserve to die.
More hot tears pricked in his eyes and he curled up in his greatcoat, squeezing his eyes shut as he desperately tried not to cry in front of the pilot.
“Your first mission is always the hardest...”
Hux ignored the advice and hid in his coat until sleep encased his mind.
-xox-
“5,827 men, General Hux.”
The way the Supreme Leader said General made Hux cringe, and he continued staring down at the floor.
“Five thousand, eight hundred and twenty-seven men lost their lives due to your incompetence as a General; tell me why I should not demote you this instant.”
“I have no good reason, Supreme Leader, all I can do is apologise. I underestimated our enemy, and my men paid the price. I will take any punishment you deem fitting for my mistakes.”
“I shall have Captain Phasma decide on your punishment; it was, after all, her men you lost.”
Hux nodded his head softly. “Of course, Supreme Leader, anything you say.”
“Next time we fight, you better have an understanding of how to be a General. Get out of my sight. You’re a disgrace to the First Order.”
Hux bowed to the Supreme Leader and turned on his heels, rushing out of the room. Tears were pricking in his eyes as the door beeped open, and the moment it closed behind him, Hux had to take a breath.
It wasn’t Snoke who was doing the fighting – it was their soldiers. It was soldiers who did the fighting, and soldiers who did the dying.
“5,827 men...”
Hux turned his head to glare at his Father, a scowl on his face. “So I’ve heard.”
“You didn’t follow my advice.”
Anger curled around Hux’s body and he immediately turned, looking to seek refuge in his quarters.
“Why didn’t you follow my advice?”
Hux spun around, eyes daggers. “How about, because every piece of advice you have ever given me, has been full of transphobic undertones? How about, because every time you try to ‘help’ me, you’ve done nothing but insult me and make me loathe myself? How about, because every time you try to help me, you tell me wrong in an attempt to get me to lose my position?”
“You are much too emotional to be a General.”
Hux scowled and shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling like the teenager his Father always commanded around. He forced himself to stand up straight, hands clasped behind his back – show him that you are you and there is nothing he can do about it.
“I am emotional around you, Sir. No one else.”
“This is why women shouldn’t have power.”
Hux felt like cold water had been thrown over him. Immediately, the all-too familiar venom was creeping around his body, rushing through his veins and making him feel like he might throw up.
“Captain Phasma-”
“-was trained from a young age and knows how to respond to situations. You, on the other hand, are just a little girl playing dress up.”
He started walking down the corridor and Hux found himself at a loss for words, before he grit his teeth.
Not this time.
“My name is Brendon Hux; I am a man, and I will be the greatest General that the First Order has ever seen.”
Brendol Hux turned around to observe his child, and raised his head. “I only loathe you must do so under the surname of Hux. All you’ve done is bring dishonour upon this family, and it’s all you will do.”
Hux turned and headed straight back to his chambers, unable to breathe.
-xox-
Brendon Hux stared at himself in the mirror, at the binder that was just visible over his shirt, and tears pricked up again. He couldn’t breathe and had to struggle under his clothes to unclip it at the side – just two clips, just enough to take hard, gasping breaths.
He clutched his skin and let a sob escape his throat as everything finally hit him.
He was the cause of nearly six thousand men dying. He was the reason the nearly six thousand families had been torn apart.
All because of a feud with his Father.
Hux stared at himself once more before his fist flew the air and smashed into the mirror. The shards stuck in his knuckles, and he cursed through gritted teeth. He took deep breaths, forcing his tears down.
“My name is Brendon Hux. I am a man, and I will be the Greatest General the First Order has ever known – I will be a better man than my Father ever was.”