Chapter Text
‘Honey, I think we have a problem!’ Maria calls, walking into the apartment and dropping her keys in the dish.
‘What type of problem?’ Nat’s shouts back, ‘I can do aliens, robberies and maybe corrupt governments if you’re prepared to be a few minutes late to the Stark-party.’
Maria sighs as she eases off her boots and flops down onto the saggy sofa. (Natasha refuses to replace since it’s the first thing she slept felt safe enough to sleep on that wasn't Red Room or Shield property.)
‘More of the bruce-being-in-love-with-you kind of problem.’
Natasha bumps into the door on her way out of the bathroom. ‘Excuse me what now?’
Her eyebrows raised, her mouth forms the perfect oh and her hands momentarily stop towel drying her hair.
‘Don’t pretend you didn’t know.’ Maria rolls her eyes and Nat grins slightly, carrying on drying her red bob.
‘Fair. I knew you’d catch me out. But still, hes not-‘
‘Don’t kid yourself Natasha.’ Maria leans back and shuts her eyes ‘That would be unfair for us both.’
‘Mia, I didn’t mean for him to-‘
‘I know, baby, I’m not blaming you, not at all. I just wanted you to be aware, especially with the party.’
‘You think he’ll try something?’ Natasha raises her eyebrows, sitting down on the armchair.
Maria shrugs, eyes still shut ‘Victory and alcohol is a dangerous mix.’
There silence for a moment as Natasha tries to find an explanation, or an excuse, some way that she made Banner be like this.
‘Don’t do that.’ Maria says quietly.
‘What?’
‘Don’t try and think of a reason its your fault. Its not.’ Maria sits up slightly. ‘You didn’t lead him on, you didn’t make him stare, or think or act. Its not you, its him.’
Natasha bites her lip in an attempt not to smile. ‘Thank you Masha.’
‘Have you thought about it more? What we were talking about the other day?’ Maria asks gently.
Nat sighs ‘Coming out just seems like a long-shot. I don’t…’ She waves her hands around, trying to pluck the sentence out of mid air. ‘I'm happy with who I am, and happy with you.’
‘Okay, I’m not saying you have do, I just want you to know that you’ll be supported, no matter what you choose. I’m happy to say whatever you want to say whenever you want to way it. But maybe it’ll put a stop to this thing with Bruce.’ Maria adds, sitting up properly and pulling out her haritie, shaking out her loose curls.
‘Theres not a thing.’ Natasha walks over to the sofa, pouting as she looks at her wife.
‘Why the face?’ Maria grins, tapping her nose.
‘I just cant believe you’ve been home for-’ she checks her watch, ‘2 minutes and 56 seconds and haven’t yet kissed me.’
Maria stands up, wrapping one arm around Natasha’s waist, her right hand trailing down the redheads’ cheek. ‘That’s awful.’
‘Just terrible.’ Natasha leans into her, pressing their bodies together.
Maria gets halfway through horrible before she cant breathe.
***
‘Masha.’
‘Hmm.’
‘Masha.’
They’d collapsed onto the sofa, languidly making out like teenagers under the bleachers, Natasha curled entirely into Maria’s lap, holding every inch of her she can find. Don’t get Nat wrong, the sex is great, but just having enough time to slow down, to be causal and exhausted and enjoying each other like this is a luxury they never thought they’d have.
‘We’re gunna be late.’
And apparently they don’t have.
‘Urgh.’ Maria’s lips pause on their journey down her neck. ‘Thats my line.’
‘Well, you seem distracted.’ Natasha smirks, tilting Maria’s chin up and leaning their foreheads together. ‘You’re going to love my dress.’
‘I love anything on you- I’d love a sheet on you. And I do, frequently.’ Maria pokes her wife, ‘Go on, show me.’
‘Okay, okay.’ Natasha hops up and runs into the bedroom, leaving the door ajar so she can question Maria.
‘What are you wearing?’
‘Uh, not sure yet.’
‘Suit?
‘I was thinking of a dress.’
‘Hot. What colour? Blue? You suit blue like the ocean does.’ Natasha rambles. ‘I remember that suit- baby, you gotta dig that one out sometime- from the party after New York. Jesus, my eyes would roll all the way back into my head if you showed up in that next date night.’
She kicks open the door and spins. ‘Ta da.’
‘Oh God, Nat-’ Maria’s jaw almost hits the floor.
‘Yeah I think I’d look a bit like that for the suit.’ Natasha giggles, walking over to Maria, hip’s swaying and straddling her on the couch.
‘Nat-. We’re going to be late.’
‘But will it be worth it?’ Natasha’s voice is low, hips moving in slow circles and Maria’s hands trail up her thighs.
‘You have to ask? I’m offended.’
‘Prove it.’
***
‘Oh. Oh. ’ Clint’s eyes twinkle as Natasha rushes out of the elevator, smoothing out her hair as she goes.
‘Don’t even try.’ She holds up a finger to Clint’s lips. ‘Shut up.’
‘Where has that been?’ Clint grimaces and she rolls her eyes.
‘Thats my left hand, idiot.’
‘Still ew by relation.’
‘You’re just bitter about missing your wife.’ Nat sings.
‘You suck.’ Clint looks around, ‘Where is your better half anyway?’
‘She’s on her way up.’
‘Well, how about a drink then?’ Clint offers a beer.
‘Sure. That might get this over faster.’
They stay by the edge of the room, heads down, trying to avoid the attention of Tony and the other, more sociable party guests.
‘So, how’s life on the farm? Laura doing okay?’
‘She is very pregnant. Still.’
Nat groans, ‘Imagine.’
‘No thanks. Would- would you?’
‘Clint.’ Nat’s voice is soft. ‘You know I-’
‘I mean have children, by any way?’ Clint cuts her off, laying his hand over hers.
‘Yeah, we would. I mean, we picked up a cot for you and Laura and it’s just sat in one of the bedrooms. I don’t think either of us want to give it away. It’s just… complicated.’
‘Would Maria carry?’ Clint asks gently.
‘Not sure. We haven’t had massive conversations about it. I almost feel bad asking- like I need her to fit into some role in our relationship I can’t fulfil.’ Nat sighs, dropping her forehead against the neck of her bottle. ‘Then I feel like shit because there aren’t roles in our relationship. We don’t have a strong man and a baby-carrying woman.’
‘No, you have two strong women, one of which could hypothetically baby-carry. And who even says you need to baby-carry?’ Clint turns pale. ‘I’ve watched two babies be born and I do not understand how Laura’s going through that again. She’s a superhero more than any of these guys.’
Natasha wrinkles her nose. ‘Yeah, a baby’s head is large and that hole is small. Ouch.’
‘It just- its stretches and I can’t-’ Clint makes some odd gestures, then chokes. ‘Nope, can’t think about it. I’m married to a genius.’
‘Agent Romanoff.’
‘Hill.’ Natasha spins in her seat. ‘Love the dress.’
‘Ditto, agent.’ Maria nods and turns away.
‘You’re staring at her ass.’ Clint whispers.
‘Yes.’
***
‘How’d a nice girl like you end up workin’ in a dump like this?’
It’s a good line, Natasha will admit, she might have even used it in her I’m-not-gay-I-just-fuck-a-lot-of-women-in-bars phase, so she assumes no harm can be done as she leans forward, replying with a casual.
‘Fella done me wrong.’
‘You got a lousy taste in men, kid.’
Oh crap, Natasha feels some sort of weight appear in her gut, like… disappointment. In herself? Natasha pauses for a moment, takes a breath then smirks.
‘Maybe, but my taste in women has always been immaculate.’
Natasha watches Bruce as he hesitates, mind working it out until-
‘Oh.’
‘Oh.’ Natasha raises a cocky eyebrow, really, really channelling her inner Maria, everytime some guy hits on her in a bar.
‘You, you’re-’ He doesn’t seem to be able to fill in the word so she tries.
‘Gay? Lesbian?’ The weight is slowly disappearing.
‘Y-y… yeah’ He stammers and she nods.
‘Gay a maypole, and happy as one too.’ She assures him as he retracts slightly from her.
‘Right, I just, I didn’t know… I didn’t realise.’
‘I know Bruce’ She smiles kindly. ‘But if you wouldn’t mind keeping this on the down low?’
He nods frantically, whether through fear or support she doesn’t want to know, ‘New thing or…?’
‘Not new. Just new to telling people.’
‘Right, right.’ He blinks. ‘Well, urm, congratulations.’
‘Goodbye Bruce.’ Natasha murmurs under her breath, sipping her drink, across the room Maria catches her eye. She nods once and the look she gets in response is enough for the weight to disappear entirely.
***
Natasha cant help but look up in the jet the moment she hears Maria’s voice.
‘The news is loving you guys. Nobody else is. Theres been no official call for Banner’s arrest, but its in the air.’ She relays easily, ever on the business and Tony nods.
‘Stark Relief Foundation?’
‘Already on the scene.’ Her tone switches slightly, Natasha recognizing the change from Commander Hill, to just Hill (shes only Maria with Nat) 'How's the team?’
Tony sighs, looking around at the exhausted supers. ‘Everyones… we took a hit. We’ll shake it off.’
Maria raises her eyebrows. ‘Well for now I’d stay in stealth mode, and stay away from here.’
Tony squints at the screen. ‘Yeah, where actually is here? That’s a new backdrop Hill. I didn’t know you actually existed outside of the office.’
Natasha steals a look at Maria's image on screen, backed by the huge book shelves of her home office.
‘Surprising as it is, I’m at my own place.’ She nods, challenging him to ask more. Tony's not that stupid though and changes the subject.
‘So run and hide are official orders?’
‘Until we can find Ultron, I don’t have a lot else to offer.’
Tony shrugs, ‘Me neither.’
The call drops.
‘Hey, wanna switch out?’ Tony pokes Clint, whos flying and Natasha cant help carrying on listening in.
‘Nah, I’m good, if you wanna kip though, now's the time. We’re still a few hours out.’
‘From where?’
‘Safehouse.’ Clint replies and Natasha immediately pulls up their location on her watch, her heart sinking when she realises where hes taking them.
‘Hey birdbrain.’ She stands shakily, walking over to lean on the back of the seat.
‘I’ve got a place.’
‘Nat-‘ Clint glares at her as she starts to reroute.
‘Clint.’ She glares back.
‘Okay, I cant function with this much unresolved sexual tension so I’m going to-‘ Tony walks off.
‘Nat, you cant.’
‘No you cant.’ Natasha glares at him. ‘You have the children to think of Barton.’
‘And you have Maria.’ He fires back ‘You’re safe, private and protected. You cant risk changing that.’
‘Barton. You have children.’ Natasha’s voice is low, but still shakes slightly.
‘You have a wife. ’ He replies quickly.
Natasha sighs. ‘Don’t say it like that. The team are coming to The Nest. That’s the last of it.’
‘N-‘
She cuts him off. ‘No. Clint, no. None of us got normal childhoods, I’m making damn sure your kids do.’
Clint silent for a moment, then a hand stakes over the armrest and catches hers. ‘Thank you Tasha.’
Tony raises his eyebrows and slips Steve a 10 dollar bill. ‘I didn’t think they were actually fucking.’ He whispers in disbelief.
***
The landing is so smooth the guys only notice when the cargo door lowers and natural light starts to pour into the jet.
‘What? Where are we?’ Tony looks around, Steve standing up, then pulling a shaking Banner to his feet.
‘Somewhere safe.’ Natasha walks out, Clint following.
Steve looks after them and shrugs. ‘When in doubt, follow the spies I guess.’
‘I regret following the spies.’ Tony takes a moment to stop and stretch his legs dramatically, half an hour later as Natasha scoffs.
‘We got as far as we could on the fuel we had, would you prefer to have crash landed on the front lawn?’
‘Lawn? Whose lawn? I thought we were going to a SHIELD place?’
‘There is no SHIELD' Nat, Steve and Clint growl at the same time.
‘Okay, okay.’ Tony holds his hands up. ‘So where are we going? Because if this is all for nothing my feet need to have a conversation with the navigators.'
Clint slaps him lightly on the back of the head ‘Ew. I’m never looking at your feet.’
Tony gasps. ‘I’ll have you know my feet are lovely.’
‘Fetish.’ Clint coughs.
‘What’s a fetish?’ Steve asks innocently as Natasha rubs her temples, turning right at a wooden gate. ‘Everyone shut up.’
Silence cuts like a knife as the boys look up at the classic two story ranch style house they’re standing in front of, letterbox at the end of the dive reading The Nest , and porch swing swaying gently in the breeze.
‘Where are we?’ Bruce speaks for the first time, pulling off his headphones and gazing up at the house.
‘My home.’ Natasha says quietly, then adds quickly, cutting Tony’s remark off, ‘And its secret. Totally. There are no Shield safehouses so we had no other choice.’ Her eyes turn to Clint on that and he offers a slight nod.
‘Just… please.’ She adds walking up to the front door. ‘Don’t piss off the lady of the house.’
‘Lady? Isn’t that you?’ Is all Tony gets in before the door opens and they step into the Black Widow’s home.