Chapter Text
tuesday. 05:34 am
Shauna stumbled through the dark of the dorm room, trying not to knock over any of the book staples or trip over sketches thrown haphazardly on the floor. In her roommate's defense, they weren't just thrown around—"It's organized chaos, part of the creative process, Shipman."
Well, she couldn't judge the creative process, considering hers had been close to zero.
Finally she felt a rush of relief when her hands found the light switch, and the door clicked shut behind her. Judging by the fact nothing was thrown at her, or in her general direction, she didn't wake any of her roommates.
Taissa was a deep sleeper but it was easy to wake up Jackie— maybe she should take the early classes then.
“It's not my fault ‘overly-ambitious-shauna’ chose 7am classes so leave quietly and stop whining about it!”
Any sense of success she got from her little journey going fine vanished as she caught her reflection in the mirror. The dark bags under her eyes had become seriously concerning, and her lips were chapped from the January cold, and occasional anxious lip biting.
Shauna groaned and resisted the strong urge to shut off the light and go back to bed, instead she went through her morning routine as usual.
One shitty filter coffee made for herself, another one for Taissa, who’d have to wake up in half an hour, because Shauna’s just that amazing of a roommate, and two secret cigarettes at the kitchen window later, she reluctantly put on her coat—a nice, dark shade of red, Jackie had got it for her last Christmas. After checking her bag one last time—keys, notebook, phone, money—she quietly let the door fall into place with a soft click.
tuesday. 06:40 am
The walk across campus wasn't too long, and admittedly, Shauna found comfort in the freezing cold biting at her cheeks and fingers—it made her feel awake. It was still relatively dark out, and she only crossed path with a handful of other students.
Seems like some people didn’t know how absolutely fulfilling a 7 a.m. 'Intro to CW Poetry' class was... or at least that’s what Shauna imagined it would be if you could actually write, which—okay, that was wrong—she could write.
Of course she could. That was her thing. She was always writing, day and night, scribbling lines on receipts or shouting at Jackie, "Get me my notebook, I got something good!" while half passed out on the floor at a party.
She couldn't write right now, though. Not since she started her first semester of college. It was frustrating timing, especially when she saw her friends thriving in their majors. God, Tai had every professor knowing her name by the first day, and it made Shauna rethink every life choice she'd ever made.
She didn’t feel excited about writing. She didn’t feel excited about discussing it with her professors. And to be fair, she’d never liked poetry to begin with—it was just a bunch of annoying nonsense for fools in love.
Annoying. Like most of the people in the class. Each one more pretentious than the last. The stupid words they so easily tossed around and the writing they shared usually made Shauna want to rip their heads off.
"Come on, Shauna, you're a lit major. Pretentiousness comes with the job!"
She sighed and, as she approached the classroom, forced a smile at her classmates.
tuesday. 11:15am
After a completely useless poetry class Shauna got roped into spending her break between lectures with some of her more tolerable classmates in the library and while they were all talking and working on various projects Shauna zoned out scribbling the words ‘essay due 21st january’ in her notebook over and over before standing up and awkwardly declaring she had to leave for a ‘women's literature’ lecture unsure if anyone even heard her.
The lecture wasn't bad, actually it was probably really informative but Shauna couldn't seem to concentrate.
Her phone made a quiet noise.
Jacks: Out of soy milk!
That made it sound like Shauna was supposed to know that and immediately provide as much soy milk as Jackie needed for her perversion of coffee.
Jacks: also won't be home tonight
Jacks: staying at Nat’s yay!
That made it sound like “Nat” had her own apartment. Which she hadn't, she had a shared dorm on the other side of campus.
Shauna didn't like Natalie much, she had spent too many nights consoling Jackie over some asshole move she did for that.
She quickly typed a response showing her disapproving acknowledgement and shoved her phone back in her pocket trying to concentrate. Adding a mental note to go to the corner store after this.
tuesday. 01:12pm
Walking down the stairs to the dorm, Shauna just wanted to collapse. All she needed was some quiet, some alone time, some space to wallow in her thoughts.
Of course, the universe had other plans. She opened the door to find Tai and her girlfriend tangled up on the couch. Making out. Shauna stood there for a second, bags of instant ramen, soy milk, and whatever else she’d grabbed from the store still in her hands. Cough.
They immediately pulled apart. “Fuck—Shauna, sorry—um, I swear I thought you’d be home later!” Tai stammered, which was unusual for her, face going red.
Shauna could feel the familiar feeling of a little more than annoyance creeping up on her, but she tried to keep it together. It wasn’t Tai’s fault, not really. Still, the last thing Shauna wanted to see right now was that. There was a reason the ‘hey if you want to have someone over at least warn us in the groupchat’ rule existed.
Admittedly it was a little different for Tai and Van, who were actually together and not just hooking up. “No, it’s fine,” Shauna said, a little too sharp. “Really. "It's fine.”
“Hey nice to see you Shauna.” Van said from her place on the couch, not really feeling the tension.
She dropped the bags onto the counter, way too hard. The sound made her wince, but Tai wasn’t even flinching. Instead she walked onwards Shauna leaving her girlfriend alone in the living room. Tai opened her mouth like she was about to say something, but Shauna didn’t want to hear it.
She wasn’t angry at Tai, not really. She was angry at herself, at the stupid way everything went today and at the way things have been. “I’m not mad, okay?” Shauna said, her voice a little tight. “I’m just... tired. I had a bad day.”
Tai didn’t say anything at first. Shauna could see her hesitate, like she wasn’t sure if she should say something comforting or leave her to her own meltdown. But before Shauna could take another breath, the tears were already there—spilling out of her eyes, too fast for her to stop.
Taissa was on her in an instant. She wrapped her arms around Shauna like so many times before, like it was the most natural thing in the world, and Shauna let herself fall into it. Tai didn’t say anything. She just held on, the way you hold someone who had a really bad day.
After a minute, Shauna managed to pull herself together. The tears slowed, though the feeling in her chest didn’t. She wiped her face on the sleeve of her hoodie, trying to act like she wasn’t a mess.
“I’m sorry,” Shauna muttered, her voice thick. Tai didn’t pull away.
“No. You don’t have to apologize. You’re allowed to feel shitty sometimes.”
Shauna snorted. “Yeah, well, I’ve been feeling shitty for a while now.”
Tai didn’t say anything to that. Maybe she didn't know what. But she did prepare the ramen.
tuesday. 01:41pm
“Here you go!” Taissa handed Shauna a bowl, settling into the couch cushion next to her.
They were all sitting together—Shauna nestled between the couple. Though she still felt the weight of exhaustion pressing on her, the warmth of the noodles and the cozy blankets around them made it more bearable. The three of them ate in a comfortable, easy silence.
Van, ever the one to break said quiet, leaned back, letting out a dramatic sigh. “You know, I’ve been meaning to tell you this, Tai…” She raised an eyebrow, looking at her girlfriend. “Your ramen game is seriously weak.”
Tai shot her a ‘can you read the room?’ look, but Shauna couldn’t help the small snort that escaped her.
At that, Tai leaned into the bit, letting out a loud, exaggerated sigh. “What? You don’t like the one-dollar ramen Shauna, ever so kindly,” she glanced at her roomate, “picked up from the corner store?” Van opened her mouth to retort, but the amusement crept onto her face, and she let out a reluctant laugh.
"So Shauna, why don't you try writing at that bar again?"