Work Text:
'What is feeling?'
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'Why do I think about him so much?'
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Does he love me?
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'Do I love him?'
The dead silence of the winter evening made these thoughts run through young 10 year-old Michael's mind. As he keeps thinking about these questions more and more, his face becomes less light almond colored and more of a rose red color. He was on his way to sleep as he suddenly remembered the promise he made to best friend, Jeremy Fitzgerald.
He gets up from his bed and starts getting dressed for the meet-up, as well as carrying a Christmas gift for him. While doing so, his mother was walking back to her room. Mike panicked.
"Oh God, I hope the booze makes everything invisible to her," he thought. He fears were settled down quickly as his mom stumbles to her and her husband's room. He breathed a sigh of relief.
"Well... now that mum is out of the way, should I go through that hall, or the hall where Beth and Evan's rooms are," he said quietly to himself. He finishes getting dressed for winter and decided to possibly get caught by his older siblings than his parents.
As Mike quietly tip-toed to reach the staircase, he didn't notice he made a few creaking sounds that were heard by someone. They got up, and sneaked around. As Michael was putting on his snow boots, he heard a small throat clearing by one of his family members.
"Oh crap," he thought. He turns his head and sees his older sister staring at him. Her eyes were tired and mixed with confusion and annoyance.
"What are you doing? It's nine thirty in the evening," Elizabeth asked.
"Uhhhh... nothing," Michael said, shifting his vision to the other things around him.
"Surrrrre...."
"And who's that gift for?"
"No one."
"Tell me what you're up to or I'll get mom and dad," she taunted with a cheeky grin. Mike felt a rush of panic run over his body.
"You wouldn't," he said back, trying to nit seem scared. He got up from the ground and stared at her until she faltered.
The ginger girl turned around and started heading upstairs. Mike ran up to her and pulled her by the waist, tucking his gift into his snowpants pocket.
"Let go of me," she whispered angrily. She was trying to push him away by the face and unravel his arms, but she was failing to do so.
"No," Mike said while strengthening his grip.
"I'm not missing my meet up because of your snitching."
Elizabeth let go of her brother's face and arms, and dragged him by the collar of his yellow coat. They stood in the middle of the living room in tense silence. Elizabeth looked distressed.
"Who are you meeting up with, Michael," Elizabeth asked with a fierce yet quiet voice.
"I'm not telling you."
"Tell me... right now, Michael," she demanded, squeezing the coat collar tighter. Her piercing green eyes gave a menacing stare. The young boy now gave up and had no other choice.
"Jeremy..."
"I'm meeting up with Jeremy," he said in a disappointed tone.
Elizabeth lets go of Mike's coat collar. He stumbled before landing on the floor.
"And why were you hiding about meeting with your best friend," Elizabeth asked. She felt there was something else going on, and wanted to be sure it wasn't bad.
"Well... we're just going to hang out. That's all," Michael answered somewhat truthfully. A small blush formed on his face. She noticed this.
"It's nine thirty in the evening, why does he think it's a good time to go out with you," she wondered, putting her hands on her face. Mike got up and soothed her back and started, "he's just strange..."
"But I love that about him," he said quietly. Elizabeth heard it, and sighed. A smile forming on her face.
"You two have a weird bond," she said, giggling to herself.
"Alright. I'll cover for you," she said. Mike immediately hugged her.
"Thank you, Beth," he beamed. He rubbed his cheek against hers. She hugged him back.
"Okay, now stop doing that," she said. Mike did so.
"Just be safe."
"And come back alive," Elizabeth said as she booped him on the nose.
"I promise, Elizabeth."
"I will be safe, and I will come back alive," Mike vowed.
He took out his gift and then put on his yellow coat and gently twisted the knob. The two bid each other their farewells, and now young Michael was free from his own little prison that he begrudgingly calls 'home'.
As he walked through the neighborhood, he felt the gazing of many eyes upon him. He knew his neighbors were just minding their own business, but he couldn't shake the feeling that someone will recognize him and he'll get in trouble. To take his mind of any tragedy, he looked at all the Christmas decorations each of the houses set up. They brought a sense of comfort to him. The feeling of fun and warmth made him feel cheerful. Something he never really felt at home.
Young Mike continued until he reached the town.
When he reached the town, he saw even more beautiful holiday lights. The gold and solver stars made him feel as if he was in another world. He also observed the families that were out and about. The kids laughed along with their parents. The children played together like nothing was going wrong. However, what really got him was the parents being happy, smiling at each other, and being in love with each other.
"Why can't mom and dad be like that," he pondered with tears already forming.
He kept walking for several minutes. It took a real toll on him. Michael was never the athletic type, as that is his older brother Evan. Someone he knew Jeremy liked, and that made him feel even more confused about his feelings as well as the day of the kiss.
When Michael reached the park, he heard a shout from a distant. He turned and saw a young 13 year old boy with copper blond hair, and dressed in all green. He running to him.
"Hey, Michael!"
Mike ran to his best friend and they started hugging each other. "Hey, Jeremy."
"Sorry I was late. It took me a while to convince my brother Jerry to cover for me," Jeremy explained out of breath. They stood still for a while embracing each other.
"I can tell," Michael said.
"But don't worry about being late. Because I thought you were already here, and that I was the one who's late," He added.
"Heh. You had to convince Elizabeth?"
"Yeah."
They laughed at each others' situations, being relieved each had to struggle to leave to met the other. It was then Jeremy noticed Mike's eyes were slightly red and puffy. His laugher died down.
"Hey... have you been crying," Jeremy asked.
Michael got quiet and gazed away from him. "N-no. It's just cold, and I might be sick," he answered with a sniffle.
"I uh.. got you something," Mike said. He took out a small gift in a box and placed it in Jeremy's hands.
Jeremy looked in surprise and gave a sweet smile to him. "Thanks, Mike. You didn't have to get me anything," he said.
"I know. But I wanted to."
"Because I really like you a lot, Jeremy," he said in his head. But snapped out of it, feeling more confused than ever.
Suddenly, Jeremy took Mike by the hand and started running. Michael was struggling to keep up the pace. They made a few twists and turns until they reached a log cabin.
"Wha- I-... How did you find this," Michael exclaimed. This was the first time he'd seen something like this.
"One day I found this while I was wandering around the park. I stayed there for a couple minutes," Jeremy answered.
"I definitely scared my parents that day."
They moved forward to the front door of the cabin. Mike turned the shiny knob, and there was a nice interior. A nice beautiful carpet on the ground, a nice red couch in the living room with a rug and a wooden coffee table, a small kitchen next to the living room, a small bathroom, and a warm looking fireplace.
All of this stunned young Michael. It was seemingly empty, however, it was more comforting than his own home. They stepped into the cabin, and Jeremy closed the door. Michael stood in the middle of the area, looking around at the beauty of it all. Jeremy stood beside him, holding his hand.
"What do you think, Mike," Jeremy asked. He flashed Michael his bright smile.
"I... I- can't..."
"It's amazing, Jeremy! More than amazing!" burst Michael. He quickly covered his mouth after the cry of happiness.
Jeremy took Michael's other hand into his own. "I'm glad you like it, Michael."
"I love it," he said. He stood on his tip-toes and gave Jeremy a kiss on the cheek. It was now Jeremy's turn to stand still. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest, and his body felt even more warm than it already did. Mike immediately realized his actions and turned a medium shade of red. It formed a beautiful color scheme of yellow, brown, black, and bit of electric blue from his eyes.
"I'm g- glad you d- do," Jeremy said with his face being a light pink color. After a while, the pink and redness of their skin went away. They looked at each other again.
"Let's take a seat. I got my game collection for us to play," Jeremy said. He was very giddy and joyous about it.
"That's very nice of you, Jeremy, but there's no TV here," Michael commented.
"Yeah there is."
"It's right there," he said pointing at the TV behind the coffee table.
"Oh."
"Funny how you have these glasses to make you see better, but you're blind to that TV," Jeremy bantered.
Mike gave a playful punch to his arm. "Shut up. You can't seem to stop talking every time whenever video games are brought up," he retorted playfully. Jeremy's laughter died down, and he was beginning to look ashamed. Michael was now starting to feel bad.
"But I love it when you do. You always seem to know everything about all the we play at the arcade," complimented Michael. He pulled Jeremy in for a side hug. Jeremy smiled at him.
"I know you do. And thanks...," Jeremy said.
"For what?"
"For always listening to me," Jeremy finished.
"Of course. I'm always here for you Jeremy," Michael said.
"And I'm always here for you too, Michael," Jeremy said.
The young boys went to sit down at the couch. Jeremy and Michael set up the console to play. Then they spent the last hour playing video games.
Later on in the evening, the boys were just relaxing with each other. Cuddling in the couch. Jeremy was once again talking about video games, and Michael was listening to him.
"And here's another thing about Frogger-" Jeremy looked at the time.
"We should start heading back," he suggested.
Michael then looked at the time as well. He sighed a deep sigh. "Yes, I suppose. We don't want anyone getting suspicious of us," Michael said. Jeremy placed his console and his games in his backpack. Michael was already at the door.
"Ready to go, player 2," Jeremy asked flirtatiously.
"Ready as I'll ever be, player 1," Michael replied with a slight coyness to him. They chuckled at their cheesy nicknames and left the cabin.
On their way out Michael looked the other way. He looked at the night sky full of stars, the snow glistened in the moonlight, the frozen lake looked glamorous. He went up to the lake and stared at his reflection, looking at himself and how there was nobody else in his family that really understood him. He felt alone
"Why do I have to feel this way," he thinks.
"Why does Jeremy even continue to be with me?"
Just as he thinks this, Jeremy stood right beside him.
"What are you thinking about?"
Michael stared at the lake in silence, then he said, "...Nothing..."
Tears started forming in Mike's eyes. Jeremy wasn't sure what to say, but he wanted to help in some way. He picked up Michael from his legs and kissed him on the lips. Michael had tears falling down his face, and the kiss was what broke him. He kissed back passionately, relieving any sadness in his life. They broke the kiss for a moment because Jeremy had set Mike back down. They then went back to it, savoring the warmth and understanding in each other. Michael and Jeremy wanted the moment to never end.
They broke the kiss yet again and stared at the moon. Or so it seems, as Jeremy was staring at him while Michael was starting at the moon. "Jeremy, why do you think we're... so close," he asked.
"I don't know, Mike. But I just know that you and me have something that no one else has," Jeremy replied, refusing to take his gaze off Michael.
"That's true. But how do you feel about me?"
"I think you're very sweet. You're fun to be around, you're very smart, and you're actually very strong if you ask me," Jeremy expressed as he took Mike's face in his hands. "And I really appreciated you standing up for me against Evan that day," he added.
"Jeremy... I... of course I would," Mike started as his gut was feeling like fluttering out of his body.
"But... I... asked how... you feel about me," he gasped.
Jeremy paused for a moment. Not sure of what he was supposed to say. "Well... I feel happy whenever you're around- more than happy even. I feel as if we can rule the world together with you," Jeremy professed. He took Mike's hands into his own. Mike was blushing a light red, he was feeling very overwhelmed with love that he didn't know if it was real.
"Jeremy... how do you feel about me," Michael asked again, not yet satisfied with his answer. Jeremy sighed. He took his hands back and started pacing around.
"Look Michael... I don't know what you want me to say," Jeremy protested.
"Just tell me how you feel about me, Jeremy!" Michael cried as he ran to Jeremy to grab him by the shoulders.
"There's so much to say, that I can't put into words, Michael!" Jeremy argued. His body was shaking from the new found negative atmosphere. He started squeezing Mike's arms.
"Yes you can..."
"I can't..."
"Why are you acting like this, Michael?" Jeremy sniffled. He was feeling too overwhelmed with all sorts of feelings.
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"I... I..."
"Do you love me, Jeremy?!" Michael chocked out.
"I do!" Jeremy declared. Pulling Michael into his arms.
A moment which felt like forever had passed. The boys stood in silence once again, tears drying up and possibly turning into frost or ice. The embrace was calming and heartfelt for them, Jeremy especially.
After a bit, they settled down. Jeremy once again said more gently, "I love you so much, Michael Afton."
"I don't know why or how or what, but I just love you."
Michael hugged him tighter. Tears refusing to stop sliding down his face. "I love you too, Jeremy Fitzgerald," he whispered.
"More than you think."
"And why do you love me, Michael?"
"There are many things. You're charming, good-hearted, and knowledgeable. I love listening to you talk, playing games with you, and sneaking out of church with you."
"But even with all those things... I... just... love you, for you," he answered. Now young Michael was satisfied with the answer he got.
The two of them stood still and stared out to the lake, feeling the tension dying down. Relaxation took over, the boys moved closer to each other, they turned their heads to face the other, and they kissed again with a new passion. They broke the kiss for much needed air.
"It's getting... really cold now," Michael commented. Jeremy chuckled at the remark.
"Should we head back?"
"Nah. I think we should stay till tomorrow, " Jeremy answered while holding Mike's face in his hands. Mike nodded and they went back inside the cabin, hand in hand.
They played video games and watched TV in the cabin. As midnight approaches, the boys got ready to sleep. They got comfortable into each others spaces. Mike resting on Jeremy's body.
Before Michael fell asleep, he turned to Jeremy and said quietly, "Jeremy..."
The copper blond yawned and said, "What?"
"Will you... promise to love me and not hurt me?"
"Of course. You're too special to me to hurt," Jeremy whispered. Michael shifted to reach his face. Their noses touched, their breathing was in sync. Mike smiled and fell asleep in Jeremy's arms.
"One day, you and will get married and have a happy family," Jeremy said in almost silence. He drifted off to dreamland.
And the young boys will continue to be together tomorrow.
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And forever.