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English
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Published:
2012-12-28
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1,162
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1/1
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The Disciple's Memoirs

Summary:

The Disciple's personal journal from the very first moment she met The Sufferer to her last dying breath.

Work Text:

Day one
I heard him for the first time today, I was walking through the markets and there he was standing, surrounded by a small group of low bloods all huddled together listening intently. I thought I would just take a quick look, what could be the harm, surely nothing life changing right? Hehe oh how I was wrong. Because as soon as I saw him, I felt a feeling I didn't think was possible. It's like all of a sudden my heart was filled with flutter beasts and my thinkpan just froze as I stared into these bright red eyes that sparked like fire. His voice was so confident and strong and he spoke of beautiful things that gave me hope. I had stay and listen. Just for a little while atleast.

Day Five
I have been to every one single one of his visions and I've found myself writing them down just so I could return to my hive and reread them over and over and over again. I sit a little closer each time and I think he's starting to notice me.

Day fourteen
Today not only does he stand by that beautiful Jade blood that he claims is his lusus, there is another, a Yellow blood, together they stand with such resolve I wonder if I could ever hope to stand by his side aswell.

Day twenty one
I've never been so happy in all my sweeps, today under the two moons the troll who I have come to learn is named The Signless spoke to me. When I was just about to leave he stopped me and at that moment the whole world seemed to stop. He told me he noticed me, he told me he saw me writing down all of his words then he told me he was leaving. At that moment my heart sunk, it seemed all my hope would leave with him. I think he could see what I was thinking because he just smiled and asked if I would follow him. I couldn't express how happy I was, I couldn't even cry but at that moment I knew one thing was for sure. I knew then and there I would be his Disciple and I would follow him to the ends of Alternia if I had too.

Day fifty three
Every day I write and write and write until my fingers are practically raw but in the end it's all worth it, just having the privilege to hear him talk is worth it.

Day sixty
Slowly, slowly his heart is opening up to me, I feel my flushed feelings growing each day, I have been flushed before but never like this. This strange sensation. I don't want any other quadrant. I only want him. I must ask the Dolorosa as too why and what these feelings could possibly be.

Dave seventy
Our mission is getting more and more dangerous, we have attracted the attention of the highbloods, in a way that's good right? Garnering this much awareness proves we're doing something life changing. We set out to change the caste system and if we are being chased by those of higher blood surely that means we're beginning to achieve our goals.

Day seventy six
The Condesce has began hunting us down, we are constantly on the run yet we are still finding the time to spread our message of peace. We must abscond every town almost as soon we enter, as soon as that message has been delivered, we leave. The Psionic I think takes the greatest toll for without him we would never be able to escape so swiftly.

Day eighty one
Our mission of peace and equality is becoming more and more dangerous and each of us grow tired and weary as each day goes by. Threshicutioners and Laughsassins have been chasing us tracking us down. It got worse when the Subjugglator came. I however am not worried because before I was His Disciple I was The Huntress. I know how to handle myself and I will do all I can to protect my Signless and keep his belief strong. He is my hope so I will gladly be his weapon.

Day one hundred and thirteen
We have taken to the seas, sailing on The First Ship, we have many followers now and I think we may finally be safe. It is so nice to finally see my Signless rest easy, with that tiny smile on his face when thinks no one is looking. The stars are so beautiful at night. When I look at them I think of our future and prey. Prey that our journey will end well. Every story deserves a happy ending right? Surely this one does more then most.

Day, day, oh I don't even know how many days it has been
Days, seasons, sweeps it's all the same to me now. I've stopped speaking to any other troll, I isolated myself long ago. The Condescension won, she took everything away, My future, my sanity, my hope. I suppose I bought this loneliness on my self, it was my fault, it was my fault for believing in him, for following him, for listening to him… Oh my Signless is gone. Or should I say my Sufferer. They said I should be happy that I was alive and free, that I escaped death like my Sufferer or slavery like the Dolorosa or the Psionic.

Lucky they called me…
...
This isn't luck, this is a never ending torture, I watched the troll I loved die in front of me and I couldn't do anything but watch and I couldn't look away. I stared into his once bright red eyes as they were growing dimmer and dimmer with each passing second. I was suppose to die with him, I was his Disciple. I WAS HIS DISCIPLE. THIS ISN'T FAIR. We were suppose to be together forever or at the very least die together.
...
To this day I don't know why they spared me, I don't know why the Executioner took pity on me, this is a fate I wouldn't even wish on the Condescension. I can still hear him telling me that i have to go on and this is my duty but all I want to do is tell him i love him and return to his arms where I can feel safe and happy. But I know I never can, I know when I open my eyes I will be alone. These now rags are all I Have left and over time like my memories their fading away, disinergrating into nothing and like him they'll be gone too. But there is one thing I can always count on, I still believe his words to this day, perhaps one day we can be together again, maybe in a peaceful future where everything he dreamed of was true but until then I'll just have to live and wait...