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“Hyung, I swear to god you have this free pass on Jihoon hyung.” Seokmin rolls his eyes playfully as he tries to whisk egg whites into stiff peaks, experimenting on a new lemon meringue pie recipe he found online. Seungcheol can see Seungkwan nodding on the side, his hands busy scrolling on his phone.
“I feel like you just don’t want to acknowledge it, hyung.” Mingyu chimes in, busying himself with pressing down the crust on the pie tray before he puts the stone weights and pops it in the oven.
“He’s in denial.” Jeonghan quips, eyes wide and eyebrows lifted in a knowing look, as if it would help his friend to see what he’s clearly missing out.
“Who’s in denial?” They hear the voice first, somehow sending everyone scrambling before they realize it’s just Joshua. “Hi babe,” he greets Jeonghan and then turns to everyone in the kitchen looking for an answer.
Jeonghan sighs, “Who else?” he says in defeat. And just like that, Joshua understands. With a quick glance at Seungcheol, he laughs a little before shaking his head and settling beside Jeonghan.
“They’re not wrong, though. Shoot your shot, Cheol.” Joshua tries to encourage Seungcheol.
“One, I’m not in denial. Two, he accepts everyone’s skinship, it’s not just mine he’s not pulling away from, so it doesn’t have to mean anything.” Seungcheol says, exasperated that he’s being ganged up on. He knows that everyone knows how he’s pining for Jihoon but Jihoon does not need to know. Jihoon already has so much on his plate to deal with his feelings.
“I really think you’re overthinking things, but if that helps you sleep at night.” Jeonghan shrugs, finally giving up… or so Seungcheol thinks until he hears Jeonghan whisper, “Wait until Jihoon gets snatched by someone else and I’ll laugh at your misery.”
Seungcheol can see how Joshua lightly hits Jeonghan’s arm to reprimand him. “Don’t be too hard on him, give him time.”
Jeonghan just rolls his eyes in annoyance, “Like he hasn’t been pining for Jihoon for 5 years. Give me a break. Jihoon deserves better.”
Seungcheol has heard enough, so before he can get even more pissed off with Jeonghan’s passive aggressiveness, he decides to exit the kitchen.
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On days when Seungcheol can feel his head about to burst from having to deal with everyone and everything, it has already become a habit to just drop by Jihoon’s studio and just cool down before he goes back out to face everything. After Jeonghan’s tirade and the other members’ retorts, he just knew he needed to go to Jihoon’s studio because he can’t deal with all of that again.
As he enters Jihoon’s studio, he sees Jihoon on the couch, playing with Go Dori. Jihoon looks up and smiles when he sees Seungcheol on the door, “Who pissed you off this time?” He asks, voice full of mirth. Seungcheol groans and plops beside Jihoon, far enough not to hit Go Dori in the process. “Let me guess! Is it Mingyu again?”
Seungcheol couldn’t help but roll his eyes at Jihoon’s amusement over his suffering, but he also knows he’s being overly dramatic. “It’s Jeonghan this time.” His reply is rather curt but Jihoon chooses to ignore it, he knows Seungcheol isn’t being mean, he’s just in a bad mood.
Jihoon hums to acknowledge that he heard what Seungcheol said before he resumes strumming his guitar. He’s still stuck with a melody he’s been trying to enhance, not even sure where he’ll use it but somehow kept bothering him.
Jihoon isn’t sure how he got into this situation, one moment he was brainstorming and just strumming and playing with his guitar, and then suddenly his hands were in Seungcheol’s hand. Seungcheol carefully feeling his fingertips for callouses. “Take care of your hands.” Seungcheol says.
Jihoon knows there’s a confused frown blooming on his face. “I’ve been playing the guitar for years, hyung. Don’t fret too much.” He dismisses Seungcheol’s concerns.
“I know, but it’s been a while since you played the guitar. Your fingers lost the old callouses. That’d mean it will hurt again before it gets better.” Seungcheol’s hand is still in Jihoon’s, lightly pressing on his fingers like a massage without too much pressure, the sullen pout visible on his lips and frown deepening as he looks at Jihoon’s reddening fingertips. That’s enough to make Jihoon give in. Much as he doesn’t want to let go of Seungcheol’s hand, he can’t just leave his guitar haphazardly lying on the floor, so he puts Go Dori back on the guitar stand before he sinks into the couch beside Seungcheol.
Seungcheol turns to look at Jihoon, afraid that he crossed a line reprimanding Jihoon like that. Jihoon can feel Seungcheol burning a hole on the side of his head so he turns to look at Seungcheol, his eyes soft but clearly frustrated, “Stop looking at me like you committed a crime. I’ll ask Bumzu hyung for help later. I can’t seem to figure out what’s missing. A fresh set of ears could help.” Jihoon explains.
“Okay.” Seungcheol quietly murmurs and makes himself comfortable. So does Jihoon, their arms touching each other. Jihoon can stay like this for hours. He hopes Seungcheol doesn’t get any ideas.
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Despite having walked out on them, what Jeonghan and the others said weighed heavily on Seungcheol. He’s pretty sure Jihoon hates skinship. He actively avoids it and the few people who get away with it are Seungkwan and sometimes Seokmin. But him? He doubts it. Maybe when they were younger, but now? He might as well be asking for a fight.
Seungcheol’s mind is always filled with these thoughts. Maybe a few days away could do him some good. So when their schedules were being decided, he asked to stay in the US for a few days. It’ll be a good opportunity to have some time with himself, and to also bring his Seungmin hyung to the States as he’s never visited.
Or so Seungcheol thought. As they were going around and shopping, he picks up something and buys it. Before he’d even realized it, he already has a handful of shopping bags. He looks at his Seungmin hyung in despair but his brother just shakes his head and laughs.
“You should have bought an engagement ring to go with everything,” Seungmin jokes. “Those bags don’t contain anything that will fit you or go with your own personal style so it must be for a certain homebody whose wardrobe consists of mostly whites and blacks.”
“I wear a lot of whites and blacks!” Seungcheol replies defensively.
Seungmin hums, agreeing with him. “Yeah, but your shirt sizes are always larger than what’s in those bags.”
“I’m going on a diet and I need motivation and a new wardrobe,” Seungcheol tries to reason, but he knows that it’s a lie and he bought everything for Jihoon cause they reminded them of him, or that they’d be comfortable to wear for practices.
Seungmin shakes his head and sighs. “You’re hopeless. I hope you know that you’re the only one oblivious to the fact that he’s also in love with you.”
Seungcheol sputters, at a loss for proper words, because in what universe is Jihoon in love with him? That isn’t something that’s possible.
“Yeah, try and wrap your mind around it.” Seungmin’s laughter faded as he walked away from Seungcheol, leaving him along the busy streets of Las Vegas.
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When Seungcheol and Seungmin arrive at their apartment, Mingyu and Jeonghan are already waiting for them outside their door. Seungmin waves at the two regulars, laughing at the amount of booze they’re carrying.
“You look like you went shopping. What’s the extra luggage?” Mingyu questions, looking at the small carry-on that Seungcheol is pulling along.
Seungmin laughs heartily and Jeonghan is the one who asks this time, “Hyung, what’s with the new luggage?”
“Get inside and open it yourself. And then ask him.” He pushes the door open and lets himself in. Seungcheol is still not answering so Jeonghan and Mingyu take it upon themselves to grab Seungcheol’s luggage and push their way inside the Choi brothers’ apartment.
Seungcheol is too tired from the long flight to even say anything. In hindsight, he regrets telling them the day of his arrival. When the two menaces excitedly open his luggages and rummage through everything he brought home, Seungcheol wants the earth to swallow him whole. He sees how Mingyu and Jeonghan’s faces change as they empty the suitcase of its contents piece by piece, finally understanding Seungmin’s words and reaction.
“Did Jihoon leave his things with you?” Jeonghan asks, eyes narrowed as he inspects the amount of shirts and joggers that Seungcheol has in Jihoon’s size.
“Pretty sure Eunji noona packed every single thing Jihoon hyung bought for the tour. He gets really prickly when he’s missing his favorite shirts that he almost always brings on tour cause he gets homesick easily.” Mingyu answers for Seungcheol.
“Then what’s this?” Jeonghan is holding a shirt that’s a size too small for Seungcheol. “Don’t tell me you’re dieting and sizing down?”
Seungmin snorts, clearly listening from the kitchen where he’s fixing up something for the alcoholics in their apartment.
“What was that, Seungmin hyung?” Mingyu asks.
“You really are Seungcheol’s friend, Jeonghan-ah. That’s what he said exactly.” Seungmin is shaking his head in disbelief. Mingyu and Jeonghan laugh.
“Hyung, you should have bought a ring or something, just ask Jihoon hyung to marry you if you’re this down bad.”
“You’d think you’re hyung’s best friend or something. That’s what he said as well.” Seungmin snickers when he hears Seungcheol speak for the first time since they arrived.
“Are you giving all of these to Jihoon?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t even know I bought this much until I had my hands full of bags. Jihoon might feel uncomfortable with all of these.”
“You don’t say,” Seungmin shakes his head, “Come over, let’s drink. Maybe we can goad Seungcheol into confessing to Jihoon once he’s drunk enough so we can get over this idiot’s pining.”
Seungcheol just shakes his head and kicks a grinning Mingyu off of the sofa. Once Mingyu’s gone, he stretches at the sofa and stares at the ceiling.
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“Hyung, please put us out of our misery.” Seungkwan begs, but Jihoon just laughs. “He’s so oblivious, I don’t think I can tolerate him mooning over you any longer.”
“He’ll figure it out, Seungkwan. Give him time.”
“It’s been years, hyung. I betcha you’ve also wanted to kiss him at some point.”
“I already did. Or he did.”
Jihoon’s smug smile makes Seungkwan roll his eyes at Jihoon. “Where? In your dreams?” Seungkwan snarks, but Jihoon’s answering laugh makes Seungkwan look at Jihoon suspiciously. “Did something happen that I don’t know about?”
“You talk as if I tell you everything.”
“No, but Seungcheol hyung tells me everything. Or he tells Jeonghan and Joshua hyung and Jeonghan hyung tells me by proxy. I’m still his favorite dongsaeng.” Seungkwan says, proud of himself.
“That’s not something to be proud of, you know?”
“Stop trying to distract me!! What kiss are you pertaining to!? You’ve kissed?”
Jihoon couldn’t help but want to tease Seungkwan even more. “I don’t know. Did we?”
“Aahh! Hyung!!!” Seungkwan shouts, sending Jihoon guffawing.
“You really have a nasty temper sometimes. You don’t remember? Every single one of you saw it.” Jihoon remains vague. He observes Seungkwan as the gears in the younger’s mind work overtime to recall what Jihoon’s talking about.
“You kissed him?” Seungkwan clarifies.
Jihoon shakes his head, “He kissed me.”
“WHEN?” Seungkwan hisses, frustrated that he can’t recall.
Jihoon takes pity on Seungkwan, it’s been years so he’s not counting on anyone to remember. Maybe the fans who ship him with Seungcheol, but the members? He doubts it. He giggles, “Stop thinking too much. It was during our trainee days. He stole my first kiss.”
Seungkwan’s face as it dawns on him is priceless. “That’s what? 15 years ago? Hyung, he’s been in love with you for that long?” Seungkwan’s face shifts from realization to disgust to frustration. “He’s been pining for you for 15 years and still hasn’t done anything?”
“I wouldn’t say he hasn’t done anything, but you know. It’s been tough getting here. We had to put everything behind as we navigated a life in the limelight. Just imagine how we’d turn out now if he acted on it that early.” Jihoon rationalizes.
Seungkwan looks like he’s considering what Jihoon is saying, but within minutes the frown on his face deepens, “Okay, that is valid… but hyung!! 15 years!” he exclaims.
“Give him time, he’ll figure it out,” is Jihoon’s only reply.
“How much more time? Hyung, please.” Seungkwan begs, not sure what he’s begging Jihoon for.
“What do you want me to do?” Jihoon just shakes his head and laughs.
“It’s driving me crazy.” Seungkwan cries, almost in tears from all his frustration.
“He’ll figure it out.” Jihoon just says again, and then Seungcheol is there barreling to his side like an excited puppy.
“Figure what out? Who will?” he asks, full of curiosity, invading Jihoon’s personal space without meaning to.
Jihoon pats Seungcheol’s thigh as if telling him to calm down, “You will.” He simply says, before pushing himself up and moving back in front of his computer. Seungcheol looks at Seungkwan, still confused but Seungkwan just rolls his eyes at him before he leaves the room entirely.
“What was that about?” Seungcheol asks as he lies on the couch and stretches.
“Not sure.” Jihoon answers dismissively, which Seungcheol accepts easily.
“Oh right, Jihoonie! I got you something from Las Vegas!” Seungcheol excitedly hands a paper bag to Jihoon. He figures a small bag would be much better than a whole luggage. “I saw this store with good joggers! I remember you’ve been using the same one for years so I got you a new one! Really warm, so good for winter!” Seungcheol couldn’t help but blabber nervously.
Jihoon receives it with a smile, thanking Seungcheol for remembering him while he’s with family. Seungcheol couldn’t help but feel butterflies in his stomach. Feeling a little bold, “I still have a few things at the house. I’ll bring it next time.”
“Hyung, you didn’t have to. But thank you, really. If anything, I think you should have bought Hansol new pants.” Seungcheol laughs, remembering the growing hole in Vernon’s pants. He really should have bought one for him. “I’ll kidnap him to go shop for new ones, don’t worry.”
“Ah!” Jihoon blurts out. “I almost forgot. Go check the fridge before you leave later,” he says, knowing Seungcheol won’t even wait. Right on cue, Seungcheol pushes himself off the couch and opens Jihoon’s cola fridge which is now filled with his favorite dishes.
“I went home to Busan after we got back from the States and I dropped by Daegu for 2 days before I travelled back to Seoul.” Jihoon supplies before Seungcheol could ask.
Seungcheol looks at Jihoon, beaming from ear to ear. “Seungmin hyung’s with you so I figured I’d store them here at the studio.”
“Mom didn’t say anything.” Seungcheol says, opening a container of his mom’s kimchi to smell it.
“I told Mom not to, with the time difference and all that, I figured you’d drop by the studio when you arrive anyways, so no point in making Mom and Dad stay up late to chat. But, they miss having you around. Go home when you have time.”
Seungcheol can’t explain how giddy he feels whenever he hears Jihoon call his parents Mom and Dad despite it being a universal thing for everyone in the group. He just nods. The widening smile is making his cheeks hurt but he can’t help but beam. “Thanks Jihoonie,” he says. “It’d probably be by Christmas. I miss them too, but our schedule is really hectic. But I’ll make time.”
“You really should.” Jihoon replies, turning his swivel chair back to his screen.
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The amount of schedule and practices that they have during the year-end is making everyone irritable. They try to keep the tension light and keep everything under control, as they can’t afford to upset anyone or fight with each other. Or more accurately, they don’t have time to do so.
Flying to Japan two days before their MAMA appearance managed to calm the vibe a bit. Without any schedules except for their rehearsals, everyone’s able to unwind and loosen a little.
Seungcheol opens their group chat and sends an announcement, Dinner tonight! Let’s welcome Jihoon’s birthday together? A few minutes pass and messages of yeses and okays flooded their group chat except for the most important person, the person that they’re supposed to celebrate. Seungcheol decides to send them the details of the restaurant he booked before exiting the app.
He knew he should have asked Jihoon before announcing anything, but it’s just dinner. Jihoon won’t mind, right? Seungcheol is nervous but he decides to rip the band-aid off swiftly. He knocks on Jihoon’s door, when Jihoon doesn’t answer Seungcheol knocks a little louder.
“Jihoonie?” He calls for Jihoon. He hears shuffling from the other side of the door. It takes about a minute before the door opens to a newly awakened Jihoon, his bed head making him even cuter. Seungcheol couldn’t help but chuckle. “Good morning?” He greets Jihoon, despite it being nearly evening. Seungcheol couldn’t control the smile that spreads on his face.
“Hyung, what’s up? Jihoon’s voice is hoarse.
Seungcheol schools his face a bit, “You weren’t replying to the messages on the group chat so I got a little worried.” Jihoon tilts his head in confusion. Messages on the group chat were normally ignored so he doesn’t get what Seungcheol is saying. He pushes his door open, inviting Seungcheol in while he retrieves his phone.
Seungcheol sits on the untouched side of the bed, not wanting to invade even more of Jihoon’s space. “I booked a dinner reservation for tonight, figured we could celebrate your birthday together with the kids.” Seungcheol says before Jihoon can even open his messages.
Ah. It all falls into place. Jihoon wants to laugh but he holds it in, so he simply goes back to bed, leaving his phone unopened, opting to get the details from Seungcheol instead. “What time should we leave?”
“Is that a yes?” Seungcheol confirms, heart beating so fast it feels like it’s about to burst out of his chest.
Jihoon nods, a small smile playing on his lips. He sees the way Seungcheol’s full form relaxes with his confirmation and he wants to hug him so badly but with how they are right now, the moment just doesn’t feel right. Jihoon dismisses that thought, instead focusing on making conversation. “What are we having?”
“We leave around 8? A little later but it gives the kids enough time to come back from their excursions. I figured they would want to drink a bit so, nothing fancy. Just an izakaya that offers lots of things, so we’ll have lots of options.” Seungcheol blabbers excitedly.
“With that amount of excitement, I’m guessing you have plans to drink as well?”
Jihoon chuckles when Seungcheol juts his chin forward, “When have I ever said no to alcohol?”
“That’s not something you really should be proud of,” Jihoon reprimands Seungcheol. “Also, the fans have evidence that you said no to alcohol at some point.” Seungcheol looks at Jihoon in confusion, not remembering any incident he’s ever said no to drinking.
“Remember when Mingyu and Jeonghannie hyung dropped by your apartment after a fansign during GOM promotions?” Jihoon says smugly.
It takes Seungcheol a while before it registers, “That’s different! I didn’t say no cause I didn’t want to drink. It’s just doctor’s orders!” Seungcheol exclaims.
Jihoon laughs at Seungcheol’s reaction, “Well you did say you never said no, so…”
“I can’t believe you still remember that.”
“I watched that live too, you know?” Seungcheol blushes at the memory. He got flustered when Mingyu said that Jihoon was watching, even more so when he asked about why they were gathered together. Much as Seungcheol wanted to be a busy bee during those days, his movement was limited and going to the company would inconvenience the managers and the staff so he reigned in the urge to come and bother Jihoon in the studio.
“I remember video calling you after the two menaces left.” Seungcheol confesses, feeling his cheeks heating up. Remembering how they ended up talking for hours, and at some point just enjoying the quiet company of each other while Jihoon worked and he just lay in bed waiting for sleep to take him.
Jihoon huffs, amused that Seungcheol remembers that but not much about what happened before their call. “Hard to forget when I heard how loud you snore.” Jihoon teases Seungcheol.
“I don’t snore!” Seungcheol pouts, making Jihoon burst out in laughter.
“I was just teasing you, hyung. Anyways, we should probably get going soon?”
Seungcheol checks his wrist watch and sees that they have 30 minutes to prepare. Jihoon’s still dressed in his sleepwear. He doesn’t want to go but he really should give Jihoon some time to freshen up. “Right,” Seungcheol says. “I’ll leave you to it then, will you still shower?” He isn’t sure what made him ask that but he regretted it as soon as it left his mouth but
Jihoon answers him without any hesitation. “Nah, I’ll just change my shirt and then put on a hoodie and a coat. Perks of having short hair.”
Seungcheol’s eyes follow Jihoon as he stands up from the bed, he sure wasn’t expecting Jihoon to pull his shirt off and to start rummaging in his opened suitcase at the other end of the room. Seungcheol knows he shouldn’t stare but he can’t help himself.
Jihoon notices how Seungcheol’s face started to grow redder by the minute so he took pity and swiftly dressed himself with the closest shirt he could reach for.
“All done!” He announces, pulling his hoodie that’s draped over the back of the chair.
“Should we go meet everyone?” Seungcheol says, trying to recover from his internal gay panic from earlier.
“Mmhmm!” Jihoon nods and smiles.
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By the time Seungcheol and Jihoon arrive at the restaurant, more than half of their friends are already there, the table bustling with activity. With Chan busy with ordering for the table while the others chip in with what they want, Mingyu and Seokmin already started with a few bottles of liquor. Slowly the table is filled with food and the others join in and order more food and alcohol.
Seungcheol admits it’s harder to hold a conversation with the amount of people but seeing how everyone’s just happy to be there gives him an immense sense of contentment and happiness. He locks eyes with Jihoon as they were both looking around, savoring the happy atmosphere. “Are you happy?” Seungcheol asks.
“Happier if Jeonghan hyung and Junnie could be here, but our circumstances aside, I couldn’t wish for a better birthday celebration. Thank you, hyung,” Jihoon answers.
Seungcheol grins, feeling proud of himself. “We’re just starting.” He quietly says, before he motions at one of the servers. A few moments later, the server is walking towards their table with a cake in hand. “Happy birthday, Jihoonie. I’m first, right?” He asks, his signature gummy smile absolutely glowing with pride. Jihoon chuckles at his childishness but he nods to confirm that he is indeed the first one to greet him for his birthday.
The table quickly catches on, Joshua being the first one to see the cake coming to their table, he hits Myungho who’s just sitting beside him to pull his attention towards the cake and it’s a domino effect after that. When the cake was placed in front of Jihoon and the candles were lit up, Seokmin started singing happy birthday and everyone followed suit.
The singing comes to a close and Jihoon is given a moment to pray for his wishes before he blows the candles out and the table erupts into cheers and applause. Everyone starts greeting Jihoon a happy birthday, voices raucously overlapping each other. Jihoon shyly accepts all the well wishes and raises his glass of coke to propose a toast for the group.
“Hyung, how about some alcohol. It’s your last birthday in your twenties, next year you’re also meeting the doomed thirties.” Chan goads Jihoon, not expecting Jihoon to actually accept it easily. Everyone cheers, excited as it’s a rare sight to see Jihoon drink and it’s always an experience seeing him turn from pale white to reddish pink in an instant.
Before anyone can pour Jihoon a drink, Seungcheol is ready with a shot for Jihoon. It cracks Vernon up how eager his Seungcheol hyung is to pour Jihoon a drink even during their Dingo tipsy live. Jihoon gladly accepts the shot, and drinks it straight. Everyone in their table erupts in loud cheers again when Jihoon turns the glass on its head to prove that he’s finished everything in it and sets it loudly on the table.
With the mood so high, Jihoon couldn’t help but be swept by it. And before he knows it, he’s already a little drunk with the amount of alcohol he’s already consumed. It bums him out cause he wasn’t able to taste the cake and it looks so good. He leans closer to Seungcheol, lips close to the older one’s ear, “Hyung, I really wanna try the cake but I think I’m drunk. I don’t want to puke but it looks so good.” Jihoon whispers. He fails to notice that Seungcheol’s ears were turning as red as a can of cola with his proximity.
Seungcheol is holding his laughter back, lips pressed together as he tries his hardest not to beam from Jihoon’s antics. He’s being too cute and Seungcheol isn’t sure his heart can take it.
When Jihoon moves away, his attention is caught by the deep cute dent on Seungcheol’s cheek. His eyes fixated on Seungcheol’s dimple, “Oh. It’s my favorite part of your smile.” Jihoon says, poking Seungcheol’s dimple like a curious child.
Jihoon’s unaware of how the busy table froze when he did that, everyone’s attention suddenly focused on him and Seungcheol. Joshua’s quick thinking is a God-given gift. He pushes himself up from his seat, redirecting the attention to himself. “I think we’re all full so we’ll go ahead now, Jihoonie. Happy birthday again, our vobo.” He said and most of the members followed.
Jihoon gladly nods and accepts everyone’s greetings before they head out, some with plans for a second round, some wanting to take the time to go around a little bit more before they get busy again in the morning.
“Hyung, we’ll leave Jihoonie hyung to you. And also the bill!” Mingyu says before he runs out of the restaurant. Seungcheol can only shake his head. Mingyu may have matured but he still acts like a child sometimes.
“Cheol hyung,” Jihoon turns Seungcheol’s attention back to him. “I think this is the best birthday ever.” Jihoon says, speech slurring as he leans his head on Seungcheol’s shoulder. “I hope my next birthdays are like this too.” He murmurs.
Seungcheol’s smiling from ear to ear, hearing this from Jihoon. He hopes for the same, to be able to spend more of Jihoon’s birthdays with him and make him happy, just like today.
Seungcheol’s thinking of a safe reply when Jihoon suddenly shoots up, “But next year I’m enlisting.”
Seungcheol turns to Jihoon, who’s already facing him. He sees Jihoon almost tearing up at the idea of him enlisting. “That means we won’t be able to celebrate like this again.” Jihoon’s lower lip juts out, on the verge of tears.
“Jihoonie, don’t cry. It’s okay. We can still do this next year,” Seungcheol consoles him. He hates lying because he’s not sure how they can, realistically, but he’s also scared to have a drunk Jihoon crying. Drunk Jihoon is fair game, he’s not sure what will happen when the younger drinks, but he’d rather have the happy drunk than the depressed drunk. “Do you want to stand up? Let’s get you to bed.” Seungcheol offers.
Jihoon hums and nods, “Can I get a piggy back?” Seungcheol’s about to combust with Jihoon’s cuteness but he contains his emotions. He just nods, kneels in front of Jihoon, offering his back so Jihoon can climb onto his back. Jihoon rests his cheek on Seungcheol’s shoulder. Seungcheol can feel Jihoon’s breath on his neck. “You’re so warm, hyung.” Jihoon murmurs, a few moments later, Seungcheol feels Jihoon relax and his breathing evens.
“Good night, Jihoonie.” Seungcheol says, as he walks back to the parking lot with Jihoon on his back.
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The backstage is bustling with activity. Everyone is running around making sure that all of them are getting their make-up done and dressing up. Mingyu, Seungkwan, Joshua, Wonwoo and Vernon are in front of the mirror getting their make-up done, while Seungcheol, Myungho, Seokmin, Chan, and Jihoon are on the couch waiting for their turn. Soonyoung is running a bit late as he has a prior interview in another location before he heads to the venue.
Everyone can feel the nervous but excited energy thrumming in the air.
“You won’t believe who I bumped into in the parking lot.” Soonyoung giddily yaps when he enters their waiting room. “Jiyong hyung is in his car waiting for someone and I managed to greet him, and I touched his hand!” Soonyoung dramatically raised both his hands, “I’m never washing my hands again.”
“First of all, that's gross, hyung. And second, do you think he’s still there?” Vernon quips, looking extremely serious about his inquiry.
“Sit back down, Boo Seungkwan. You and Hansol are not going anywhere until you’re all dressed up.” Seungcheol calls out when he sees Seungkwan try to stand up, as if waiting for Soonyoung’s answer before he sprints for it.
“But hyung! It’s G-Dragon sunbaenim!” Seungkwan tries to protest.
“I know, I want to go too myself but there will be opportunities later.” Seungcheol says with finality, making Seungkwan tuck away any more of his arguments. They’ve been in the industry for long and they know that small detours can affect the whole schedule.
“How about me? Can I go?” Jihoon whispers at his side.
Seungcheol shakes his head, Jihoon appears to be nonchalant on the outside but he’s as much of a fanboy as Soonyoung. “You’re a menace,” Seungcheol snickers.
“Imagine drunk Jihoon, he’s going to be even more of a headache.” Jihoon jokes lightly.
“Speaking of, how’s your head?” Seungcheol looks a bit worried now.
Jihoon shakes his head, “All peachy, got a good caretaker the other night.” Jihoon replies, poking fun at how much of a mother hen Seungcheol was, fussing over Jihoon and making sure he drank a few glasses of water before he slept.
“Shut up.” Seungcheol looks at Jihoon sharply, daring him to continue his teasing.
That makes Jihoon giggle, “Thanks for taking care of me, hyung.”
Seungcheol wanted to reply that he’s willing to do it for a lifetime but he’s pretty sure that’s not something he’s allowed to say, so he settles with teasing back instead. “I did get you drunk… with just a few shots. You’re such a lightweight Jihoonie.”
Jihoon shoves Seungcheol playfully, “Shut up.” Jihoon mimicking Seungcheol earlier.
“What are you two talking about?” Seokmin interjects curiously.
“Nothing.” Jihoon and Seungcheol both speak at the same time.
“Hmp, no fair. You look like you guys were having fun.” Seokmin sulks.
“Fine, we’re talking about the nominations.” A white lie, but that’s better than having a sulky Seokmin.
“Oh! Jihoonie hyung, how are you feeling?” Seokmin asks, his mood already shifted back to his usually jolly self.
Jihoon hasn’t really thought about it, he’s more focused on making sure his body is conditioned for their performance. With the amount of work they’ve been dealing with, he didn’t have the time to think about it.
"You've been working so hard lately, hyung. I was just wondering how these recognitions of your hard work was making you feel.
It takes him a moment before he speaks, “I don’t know. I don’t think I have any particular feelings about them.”
“But hyung, had it not been for your hard work I don’t think we would have gotten to this point.” Seokmin points out, and Seungcheol nods, agreeing.
“It’s not just me though. We’ve all worked our asses off to get here.” Jihoon frowns, not really enjoying all their success being attributed to him.
“That’s equally true, but had it not been for all your sacrifices and yours and Bumzu hyung’s music, I doubt we’d even get here.” Seungcheol remarks.
“Hyung, we both know you’ve sacrificed more for the group than I did.” Jihoon counters. He feels like Seungcheol is downplaying the amount of things he had to endure just to make sure that the members get the best out of situations. Seungcheol was forced to grow up and mature faster because he carried the best interest of the group, forgetting his own wishes most of the time.
“Okay, before both of you start fighting. You’re both Seventeen’s pillars.” Seokmin interjects, sensing a bit of tension between Jihoon and Seungcheol. “You both break it up! We’re up for make-up!” Seokmin casually gets up, doing his best to ignore how the mood shifted from playful to tense.
Jihoon and Seungcheol follow suit, still sitting on adjacent seats, but both of them are deep into their own thoughts. Ruminating on each other’s words and trying to understand where the other is coming from.
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The moment Seventeen is called for the Album of the Year award, Jihoon’s mind blanks. They’ve spent the year running harder than they did the past years: music releases, concerts, award ceremonies, fanmeets, and other activities in between. Barely having any time to stop and rest. He felt his heart swell with love and appreciation for the people who have supported them and made this possible. But his mind can’t catch up, his body moves out of the sheer need to, his ears focus on the music playing in the background. He’s trying to act normal, vibing with the music and following his members towards the center stage to receive the award.
It feels unreal to be on the receiving end of another award, having already received two awards earlier. He can hear the cheers of the crowd and Seungkwan wracking his brain to make sure he’s able to thank everyone who’s helped them. And then there’s Mingyu, who mentions his birthday. That pulls Jihoon’s focus back, trying to pass the newly bought attention to another person but Mingyu encourages him to speak to the mic, given that this album is a product of his hard work. But the only thing Jihoon was able to say was a simple thank you, it made his members and the audience laugh. He’s thankful for Vernon and Myungho’s quick thinking, redirecting the attention back to the award that they just received.
When they get back to their seats, all of them are on cloud nine. They kept their expectations low, but receiving a third award, a daesang on top of that, for the night has them in a celebratory mood. After having received a major award, all of them are pretty complacent that it’s the end of the award show for them as awards are usually spread even to all attendees.
They haven’t even been able to catch their breaths yet when Ma Dong Seok calls their name again, the whole Kyocera Dome erupting into cheers and hollers as Seventeen walks back to the center stage. Jihoon collects himself, taking a big breath before he walks behind his members. He can feel the tears coming but he reigns it in. He doesn’t want to cry again. He’s been doing good so far and he wants to finish the night on a perfect note.
He’s doing so well but when Seokmin pointed out that Seungcheol was crying, a different floodgate opened. Jihoon tries his hardest to hold back the tears.
“The thing that I want to say the most is I miss Jeonghan and Junnie so much. It would have been better if all 13 of us received it together but I’ll keep these feelings well and relay it to them. Thank you.”
Hearing Seungcheol choke up as he delivers his speech is making it harder for Jihoon to control his tears but he holds on.
Seungkwan takes over after Seungcheol takes a step back to collect himself. While Seungkwan starts recounting how Jihoon’s trying to talk to himself earlier, reminding himself to hold it in and then tells everyone how he’s like Seventeen’s mother with his generosity and dedication for them. He calls Jihoon to the front, asking him to address the audience.
Jihoon’s quite surprised that he’s managed to hold on to his emotions for this long but when the mic comes into focus in front of him, the dam breaks, all his feelings pouring all at the same time. He couldn’t help but scream and groan in frustration. His voice is a pitch higher than usual when he finally manages to speak, “I’m not sure why my chest aches so much when our team receives an award, I’m not sure what makes me feel so sad.”
He only vaguely registers Seungkwan and Seokmin patting his shoulders to try and comfort him. With the members’ reassuring presence grounding him, Jihoon continues. “Seventeen received a daesang 2 years in a row. We received 2 this year. This was something that could never happen for us.” his voice breaks, the tears already coming, “Dreaming can be done freely, but we couldn’t even dream of it.”
His tears are taking control of him and he couldn’t help but laugh at himself. “Sorry, I'm not usually someone who talks this much. Actually yesterday was my birthday. But because it’s burdensome I don't really like being wished a happy birthday,” Jihoon sniffles, snickering a little at the absurdity of his own behavior. “But I don't think it’s possible to not like such a great award as a birthday present.”
Mingyu at the back is also overcome with emotion, breathing deeply and trying to swallow down his feelings as he listens to Jihoon’s speech, as opposed to Jihoon who’s already given up on trying to control his.
Jihoon continues his speech, allowing the tears to flow freely, “As I made music for the past 10 years, I can say with confidence I have never stopped my dedication for music. I will really live the rest of my life repaying you. It really goes without saying but I think that a singer’s best way to repay is by releasing good albums. Without changing, the 13 of us will continue to steadily go together. I love you, thank you.” As he ends his speech, he just breaks down, the tears keeping on coming. He feels himself being pulled back in a hug but he’s not sure who it is. He just trusts them enough to know that he’d be okay.
When they return back to their seats, Jihoon’s tears are already running dry. He figured out that it was Seokmin who hugged him and led him back.
Myungho is sitting beside him, trying his best to offer comfort, but the thrill of getting two daesang awards is making him vibrate from the adrenaline that he’s feeling. “Hyung, I can’t believe we did that,” he quietly says to Jihoon.
Jihoon, despite his emotions still running high, squeezes Myungho’s hands. “Our hard work paid off, Myungho-ya.”
“Thank you for all your hard work, hyung.” Myungho leans his head into Jihoon’s shoulder, bumping it lightly with his head. The gesture makes Jihoon smile. The small moment he is sharing with Myungho is interrupted when the staff asks them to go back to the stage for their final bow. Everyone stands up and falls in line to go back to the stage. Jihoon is thankful that he gets some time to get himself together, and he’s able to properly greet the crowd from every side of the stage, waving and bowing to fans and spectators for their support tonight.
Jihoon’s preoccupied with making sure he’s making every single person who supported them feel seen when Seungcheol approaches him. A small tap on his shoulder, and when he turns his attention to their leader, the elder opens his arms to invite Jihoon into a hug which he gladly accepts.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” Seungcheol says, Jihoon shakes his head a little, denying Seungcheol’s apology since it’s both their faults anyways. Tapping Jihoon’s back, he continues, “We did great, us both.”
“Us both,” Jihoon echoes, moving to hug Seungcheol closer, squeezing him a bit before finally letting go despite not wanting to. For the rest of the night, Seungcheol and Jihoon would gravitate towards each other. A silent understanding between them, like something has shifted but they’re not entirely sure what.
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The following days after that are hectic and packed, but Seungcheol would always try to find a way to spend time with Jihoon. And on days when he’s around Jihoon, he’s always testing Jihoon’s limits.
One day, it’s Jihoon’s bruised arm from getting IV drips from the hospital. Seungcheol reaches out, taking Jihoon’s arm carefully, inspecting the darkening bruises. And then he slowly takes Jihoon’s hand in his, holding it until one of them needed to move. But even then, Seungcheol would still find a way to hold Jihoon’s hand again. Jihoon is amused at how bold Seungcheol has gotten after one singular moment but he allows himself to enjoy it.
Another time, he comes into the studio and plasters himself on Jihoon’s lap, using it as a pillow and complaining about how tired he is. He stayed in that position until Jihoon had to excuse himself to go to the bathroom. Not that Seungcheol made it any easier, he grumbled and pouted like a petulant child who got his favorite toy taken away from him. Jihoon couldn’t help but laugh and indulge Seungcheol some more despite the call of nature.
Seungcheol figures that since Jihoon’s not saying anything, then he must be okay with it. So he decides to push it further. From moments in private, Seungcheol decides to do something a bit riskier. On their way back to Japan for their next concert, Seungcheol drapes his arm on Jihoon's shoulder. Feeling quite pleased with himself, he stays beside Jihoon for a short moment, reveling in the proximity and Jihoon’s obvious effort to match his stride. But that feeling is short lived, the airport is packed with the media and fans hoping to catch them even for a short moment. So Seungcheol moves away from Jihoon, allowing him to walk ahead of him for both their safety.
“Don’t think I didn’t notice,” Joshua says, chuckling at how obvious Seungcheol is being.
“You and your boyfriend are a pain in my ass, you know?” Seungcheol replies, he’s walking slower with Joshua beside him.
“But do you finally understand what Jeonghan’s been saying?”
Seungcheol wants to roll his eyes so bad but they’re in public so he just nods. Of course he’s allowed himself to believe that his feelings are not reciprocated. Unless Jihoon’s a master of mixed signals, which Seungcheol knows he isn’t. Jihoon’s too straightforward for his own good.
“When do you plan to confess?” Joshua asks quietly, keeping the conversation between them.
“I just need a little bit more time.” Seungcheol replies, Joshua nods and accepts Seungcheol’s answers.
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When Seungcheol said he needed a little bit more time, he didn’t account for the fact that the last month of the year is passing by real fast. Coupled with their impossibly tight schedules, everything that he wanted to do fell through the cracks.. He thought he had more time to plan and to buy the promise ring he saw from a few months back. But by the time the company Christmas party rolls in, Seungcheol’s still unprepared.
“Please tell me he already confessed,” Seungkwan snickers, holding a glass of champagne, he’s sitting beside Jihoon hoping to find a little break from all the socializing. Both of them are people-watching, observing the crowd as they mingle and converse, not a care in the world.
Jihoon’s mood is already sour as it is, Seungcheol’s been touchy feely with him for the past few weeks so he thought he gave him all the right signals but with still a big pile of nothing significant happening, Jihoon is at the end of his wits.
He glares at Seungkwan, knowing that the younger is innocent, but bringing up that topic puts Jihoon in an even fouler mood. “For a smart person, you sure can be dumb sometimes.” Jihoon snarks, his eyes rolling in irritation.
“What? He’s been spending more time with you now. And don’t even start with how bold he’s been getting these days.”
“And that’s exactly the reason why it just doesn’t make sense!” Jihoon grits his teeth, trying to keep his anger in.
“Hyung, do you want to make him confess faster?” Seungkwan asks, the mischief in his eyes tells Jihoon that he’s up to no good but Jihoon’s patience is at an end, and it might just be this exact moment that he indulges Seungkwan.
“Whatever stupidity you’re thinking, I’m in.” Jihoon declares resolutely, clearly done with all the waiting.
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Jihoon is standing near the entrance, waiting for Seungcheol. Jeonghan has settled across the room where the best view is, knowing full well what’s about to happen courtesy of his roommate. The others are busy with their own partners or their phones making sure to send their merry wishes to friends. It’s supposed to be a simple dinner to celebrate Christmas before they all head out to their respective homes.
Jihoon couldn’t care less about what’s happening right now, much as he’s confident about how Seungcheol feels about him, he still can’t believe he let his emotions get the best of him. And letting Seungkwan convince him to do such a public display of affection isn’t in his 2024 bingo card but it’s now or never. He waits for Seungcheol under the mistletoe, courtesy of Joshua (encouraged by his menace boyfriend and his partner in crime roommate).
Seungcheol smiles when he spots Jihoon by the entrance. He is about to greet him when Jihoon grabs him by the wrist.
Jihoon tiptoes and presses a small kiss on Seungcheol’s lips. The surprise in Seungcheol’s face is something that Jihoon would never forget. He wants to laugh so bad but he’s also wracking his brain for a proper reaction outside of sudden insecurity at the stunt he’d just pulled. Has he misread Seungcheol’s feelings? Is he wrong to assume that Seungcheol likes him too?
“What?” Seungcheol whispers, his mind reeling from what Jihoon just did. Jihoon just points on the mistletoe on top of the entryway, refusing to explain any further. “But…” Seungcheol wants to comment on the fact that Jihoon’s been standing there for a while. “Did you…” kiss anyone else other than me, he wants to ask. The amount of questions in Seungcheol’s mind is making his head hurt. “Why?”
Jihoon keeps his mouth shut, shrugging nonchalantly like he just didn’t drop a bomb on Seungcheol. He walks away, more to save himself from the humiliation of such public display more than anything else. He leaves Seungcheol in the entryway, still frozen in place.
Jeonghan can hardly suppress his laughter from his vantage point across the room, while Seungkwan’s holding onto his arms, squeezing it like his life depended on it. Joshua is sitting on the other side of Jeonghan just shakes his head in disappointment.
“I can’t believe you convinced Jihoon to do that,” the three of them whip their heads at the person behind them. “If those two end up fighting or something, you lot will be the first sacrificial lambs.” Wonwoo jokes, laughing at the panic that flashed in their eyes.
“Hyung! You scared me!” Seungkwan whines. “But hey, if you saw Jihoonie hyung during the company Christmas party, you’ll understand how easy it was to convince him to do this. I didn’t even need to say anything. He just said to hell with everything. It’s a shame you didn’t witness it.” Seungkwan looks so self-satisfied with his revelation.
“Don’t look so proud, you didn’t even do anything.” It’s Mingyu who butts in this time.
“How did you even catch on with this plan?” Seungkwan looks at Mingyu suspiciously.
“I also have eyes, you know.” Seungkwan nods, “Fair point.” It really wasn’t some super secret plan, they just decorated the entryway with the mistletoe and purposefully positioned Jihoon underneath it, even holding him in place when he’d attempted to run as he second thought his decision. Not suspicious at all.
“Do you think they’ll get together now?” Junhui suddenly appears by Mingyu’s side. More people than were included in the current conversation groan around them, making it obvious that they were sneakily listening in as well. They can’t help it, they’ve all been hoping and praying. “If they don’t, let’s just lock them up and then wait for it to happen before we release them.” Junhui suggests.
“You scare me sometimes, Moon Junhui. Remind me never to get on your bad side.” Wonwoo shivers at the thought of making an enemy out of Jun.
“Do you wanna spy on Jihoon and Cheol?” Jeonghan asks, while everyone is distracted with each other’s knowledge of whatever Jihoon and Seungcheol are playing at, Seungcheol has already bolted towards where Jihoon walked off. Joshua looks at Jeonghan disapprovingly but still follows when the group decided to forget that despite being idiots, Jihoon and Seungcheol still deserve some privacy.
Jihoon’s standing on the balcony, fanning his burning face when Seungcheol interrupted him. “Hoonie, you…” he trails off, his mind still hasn’t caught up to what just happened.
“I kissed you, so what? No big deal. You stole my first kiss so now we’re even.”
The whole situation is funny from an outsider’s perspective, Seungcheol wants to laugh so bad at how adamant Jihoon looks right now but that didn’t really answer any of the questions bombarding his mind right now. “Why?” is the only thing that he manages to say.
“Why?” Jihoon’s tone is incredulous. “You decide to test my boundaries since MAMA and you ask me why?” Jihoon huffs, getting redder by the minute, his frustration rising from how idiotic Seungcheol is being right now. “You flirted and got so touchy feely and now you’re asking me why? Maybe I was just some little pastime, I don’t know.” Jihoon feels the urge to walk out. Frustration is turning into anger, but he knows well enough that it’s not going to solve anything.
“You know that wasn’t my intention,” Seungcheol looks guilty for making Jihoon feel like that.
“Oh, I don’t know, hyung. Wasn’t it? Cause if it isn’t I think you’d have confessed by now.” Jihoon blurts out, the words are out of his mouth before he realizes what he’s said. So much for giving him time.
The look of surprise in Seungcheol’s face catches Jihoon off guard. “What? Did you say ‘by now?’” The surprise slowly fading into confusion.
Jihoon disregards whatever tact is left in his body, “What? As if it hasn’t been actual years that I’ve been waiting for you to figure it out.”
“Years?” Seungcheol can’t believe what he’s hearing.
“Oh for the love of God, that’s what we’ve been telling you!” Seungcheol hears Mingyu from inside the room. He turns his back and it looks like all of the members have already gathered to eavesdrop on their conversation. “Just kiss the man, already!”
“No one is kissing anyone until I hear a proper confession!” Jihoon interjects. “And you lot!” He glares at their audience. “Disperse before I do it for you. We’re having a moment here.”
Seungcheol couldn’t help but laugh when every single one of their members hastily scramble away from where they’re eavesdropping at the mere sight of Jihoon’s frown.
“So what are we?” Jihoon turns to Seungcheol. “You best tell me right now what your intentions are, Choi Seungcheol. Or should I do that for you too?"
Seungcheol doesn’t need to be told twice, he feels around his jacket pocket, trying to fish something out. “Would this be enough to answer your question?” He asks, a ring in his hand.
“I’m not marrying you!” Jihoon scoffs at Seungcheol’s audacity to propose despite his lack of confession.
Seungcheol laughs at Jihoon’s reaction, “I’m not asking you to marry, not yet at least. I plan to woo you and take you out on dates and of course get our parents’ blessings before I get down on one knee and propose to you.”
“Then what is this for?” Jihoon asks, eyeing the ring suspiciously. “It’s a promise ring, something to remind you that I will be there whatever happens. I like you, Jihoonie. No, scratch that. I more than like you. I have loved you for years. Sorry it took me too long to confess but I hope I’m not too late?” Seungcheol offers the ring to Jihoon again.
This time, Jihoon gladly accepts, offering his hand to Seungcheol so he can slip the ring on his finger.
“Can I kiss you now?”
Jihoon rolls his eyes, “Do you really have to ask? Seriously, Choi Seungcheol I have patiently wai-” he hasn't even finished his rant, still powered by his earlier frustration before Seungcheol grins and gathers him up in his arms and then they're kissing.
Jihoon blanks and loses the fight in his body, just savoring the feeling of it. He vaguely hears the kids hooting and cheering, and someone yells out a long suffering FINALLY, but Jihoon doesn't care.
He's waited all these years for this.