Work Text:
It was still dark outside. No clue what time it was, but early enough, that the sun was still not up the slightest. Kohaku reached to the nightstand beside his bed, almost knocking the book down he was currently reading. Or at least, tried to read.
After some reaching around, he found his phone, lit up the screen to look the time up. At least, that was his intention and not, to let that thing fall flat on his face. He was awake now. Going back to sleep was not in him anymore. And finally looking at the time, it wasn’t even worth it.
Kohaku tried to be silent, not wanting to wake up Jun. Something that would be impossible anyways. That dude would keep sleeping, even if a bomb was going off right next to him. Still, Kohaku tried to be silent. Not that it was a hard task for him. Sneaking on people was something he did often, even unintentional. His first walk was into the bathroom, not taking a long time there. While getting ready for the day, he looked out of the window. The streetlamps just went on, catching his attention. The figure slowly getting lit by the light wasn’t helping to focus back on the task. A look back on his phone to check time once again wasn’t helping his confusion.
Even if he knew that Madara liked to run in the morning, he didn’t look like was out for a run here. In the end, it was nothing of his concern, but if he was honest, it did somewhat bug him. Probably had to do something with their other line of work, and that really didn’t help, that Kohaku felt at ease. Sure, Madara knew how to protect himself. But he could always rely on him, even if they officially didn’t work together anymore. “That's a lost cause anyway. No need to talk about that more with that idiot.” It really was. Always was. Kohaku knew why, but it still bugged him. Madara should know that he can talk with Kohaku about everything. There was no need to hide stuff. No change in that blockhead, and probably will never.
Even if it was frustrating, he didn’t want to get on Madaras nerves all the time. He would just start to push him away even more, he was aware that much. Not that Kohaku would let that happen, there were enough incidents, where Madara tried to cut their bond and just go away.
In the best case, Madara just tried to get his head free from some other things. In the end, there was no need to worry about him. He had better things to do.
Maybe Kohaku tried to lie to himself here a lot. He did care. He did more than just care. But he swallowed his feelings every time. The way Madara was, he would only push him away even more, start to avoid him in every aspect, in the disguise of “protecting Kohaku”.
Little did he know that Madara was fully aware of his feelings already. It did take a long time for him to notice, but the way Kohaku looked at him every damn time, when they were in a good mood, was actually pretty telling. Or the way that kid still cared about him, even if they discontinued their work.
Madara did also know that there was no use in keeping him an arms length away. Kohaku would bounce back every time. Maybe he should just give up and do something like. Talking.
Nah, that would be smart. Talking about feelings? Or about himself in general? Not gonna happen.
Not now at least. All these years of hiding his personality to most people made it hard for himself to talk about him. It wasn’t something easy, he could do. Pushing people away which grew close to him was easier. And safer for all people involved.
There was just one thing, Madara needed to be honest with himself. The thought alone, to push Kohaku away again, did feel bad. The taste it left was not the usual one.
And this was the reason he was out this early. Needing to get his mind sorted out and his feelings. First time in years, he was aware that he needed to do that.
Wandering out the still sleeping city was something he did fairly often. Sleep wasn’t his best friend most of the time.
So, he was wandering around. Enjoying the quiet of the early morning, until more and more shops were about to open their doors. Mostly bakeries. Madara had not noticed how much time went on since he left the dorms. So much was going on in his head. But he was getting cold, so his next way was to the mall, which should be open when he arrived.
On the way there, he stopped to get a coffee and something to eat. Getting aware of the time, his body screamed for the need of some food. Stepping out of the store made him shift in his jacket, it really was cold. Just now, he got really aware of that, now that he had his mind sorted out apparently. Getting to somewhere warm just did get a priority boost. Reaching his goal was a lot faster that way. At least his hands were warm from the cup of coffee, but everything else started to freeze, so the warmth of the building was a welcome one.
His reason to come here was not only the heating but one of the shops that did sell merch. It was more of an impulse, if he was honest. Realizing his own feelings also made him realise that he would be away for a week in the near future. Madara got the opportunity to go onstage as MaM in another country. Naturally, he would take that. But now, with the added load of not being able to spend his time with Kohaku pulled him alot more down, than he wanted to admit.
So, maybe getting something would cheer him up and not make him miss that much. But first, Madara needed to have at least a small disguise. Sure, the typical mask and cap wasn’t the best but better than nothing. And it still was early, so he didn’t need to worry that much.
Still, better safe than sorry. Him getting merch from his ex-partner would just spark a lot of rumors, nothing anyone would need right now. Or ever. He was looking through all the things. Nothing really was what he wanted. Until he stands before the wall with all the nuis.
Not hesitant, he grabbed Kohakus nui. He was staring at that little plush for a while. He was entirely sure to get that, no question asked.
What catches his attention next, was a lonely Nui of himself. Madara had no clue of the merch sales, if he was honest. But seeing this buddy hanging alone there, he didn’t like that. Again, no second nor thought was wasted and he had that stuffed toy also in his Hand. Having both of those things in his hand made him smile.
Madara paid for both, left the store and inhaled. What was he doing here? It was stupid. Why did he get both? Did he really short circuit that strong here? He could give the Nui of his own to Kohaku. Sure, that was always an option. He was aware of his feelings.
Well, no time to dwell too much, the mall was getting full and he needed to leave anyway. Work was calling. Putting the Nuis in his pocket, he made his way to the location he was needed for a few hours.
After this was done, Madara grabbed his phone, ignoring all the messages on there. Mostly were just concerns, he was doing fine. Most of them since their disband. He was never good with his feelings. Ignoring them was always easier.
But not this time. This time, he actually wanted to face his feelings. So, he searched for his chat with Kohaku, prayed that he wasn’t blocked, and wrote to him.
>>Meet me at our usual spot, when you are done with work.<<
The message went through. Not blocked. Yes, he was relieved about that, already on his way to the sayd spot. It was just a quiet place, near the ocean. Rarely anyone went there, Madara liked this spot for that reason. And Introduced Kohaku to it a while back.
He checked his phone, but nothing has changed, besides the fact, that his message was on read. But nothing else.
Madara would wait here.Starring out of the water, paying his surroundings little to no attention. He would understand, if the other would not come here. In the meantime, he pressed the pink haired Nui on his chest. The Nui of his was stuffed in the inside pocket of his jacket. He just put the other Nui away, wanting to turn around and look, if someone was approaching him. Before he could turn around, something hit him on his head. Before it could hit the ground, Madara did catch it.
It was warm. With confusion, he stared at the wrapped thing in his hand, before he looked up. “You know, you can answer messages.” Kohaku just sighed, closed his eyes, before he was looking at the water as well.
“Right back at ya, Madara-han.” Ouch. “How often did ya leave me on read?” Ouch again.
Madara just chuckled at that, positioned himself behind the smaller one, wrapping his jacket around him, pulling him really close to himself.
No one said a word for a while.
“You just wanted to cuddle? And please eat what I bought ya.”
Oh. Yeah, Madara had already forgotten that Kohaku had thrown something on him. And had not connected the dots, that it was food. Without a word, he unwrapped it and silently ate it.
The trash found its way into his other pocket, too lazy to search for a trash can right now. And he was way too comfortable anyways, even if it was cold. Resting his head on Kohakus, he also wrapped his arms around him.
Maybe he really just wanted to cuddle. But he didn’t call the other here just for that. He was amazed that Kohaku did let it happen without a complaint anyways right now. Then again. The amount they saw each other was nearing zero.
“I will be away for some time. Not because of you know what.” He could feel how Kohaku shifted, tried to look up but gave up. “Got the opportunity to go on stage as MaM again.Before you start to worry, why you don’t see me.”
Sure, he could’ve just written this over the messenger. And Kohaku was aware of that, still not saying a word here. He also was aware
that there was more to this whole situation. Madara never asked him to meet without a good reason. So, he waited. Kohaku knew Madara well enough to know that he had trouble talking about himself most of the time. And liked to dance around the important topic.
And truly, Madara didn’t know how to start. He was fumbling with words right now. Until he let out an annoyed sigh. He let go of Kohaku, grabbed his chin, to force him to look at him. Not, that it was needed here. Before the other could complain, Madara kissed him.
It wasn’t long. But the best way, to tell him, what was going on in his mind right now.
When he tried to pull back, Kohaku kissed him back. Not sure if all this was right but it did feel right.
Silence followed this, neither knew what to say right now. Madara just wrapped his Jacket back around the smaller one, who was gladly taking the opportunity to hide his blushing.
“Still bad about talking, I see.” Madara chuckled at those words, but they were true.
“I try to get better. Don't worry.”
“Worrying about you is a lost cause anyways.”
“Ouch. Anyways. I need something from my inner Pocket. Can you give it to me?”
No words, just again shifting while Kohaku searched said pocket. He could feel his jacket losing some weight.
“Is this some weird joke, Madara-han?” Kohaku held the Nui up to Madara’s face.
“Figured you will miss me, when I am away” He really needed to hold back a laugh here. It wasn’t helping, that Kohaku just rammed his elbow in his ribs. “So violent.”
Holding the now aching point, he watched Kohaku observing the Nui. “So?”
More than a side eye wasn’t in. Again, he chuckled as Kohaku kissed the stuffed toy.
“Hey. I am right here.”
“But you don’t deserve it right now.”
“so cold”