Chapter Text
Shen Yuan had never felt rage like this in the entirety of his life.
He couldn't believe it.
He wholeheartedly couldn't.
He couldn't believe that the novel that he had dedicated 3 years to from chapter 1 to 800 for everyday straight had the audacity to end. this. badly.
Plot holes!
Unfinished storylines!
Plot holes!
Bullcrap protag halo!
Blatant! Unashamed! Author! Self insert! Power trip!
PLOT HOLES!
PLOT HOLES!
PLOT HOLES!!! AHHHHHH!!!!
AIRPLANE SHOOTING TOWARDS THE SKY! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!!!
Shen Yuan immediately began working, left hand grabbing a meatbun, right hand typing on the keyboard
What was he doing? Writing a 10 paragraph lengthy, impassioned, hate-filled, rage-filled, borderline vitriolic review that simultaneously insulted the author's skills, way of life and the next 3 generations of his family (that is if he got any) of course!
That was his job after all!
As he furiously typed on his keyboard he took a big bite out of the meatbun. Of course, to fulfill his job as no 1 hater/critic of PIDW well. He had to have plenty of stamina.
Pure unfiltered rage could only take him so far!
It took about 0.0001 millisecond after commenting his "review" for the bouts of defenders to come pouring in
#1 Eat All Cannon Fodder :
"Criticizing a work but still reading it? Ha! Masochist!"
#2 Mingyan Meimei <3 :
"Lol bud, ur about to get cooked right about now. Everything that has been said about u has been said so I'll just say this:"
"if you don't like it don't read it."
#3 Thousand Swords Pierces You :
"Hey guys! The masochist is here again! Everyone! Start the chant! Start the chant!
U CAN UP NO CAN NO BB
+1
+1
+1
+1
....
Shen Yuan's anger was as hot as a furnace. It seems that he would have to fight the plebeian hordes with opposing viewpoints once more in order to defend his objectively correct opinion.
Again.
It was a thankless job but somebody had to do it.
Shen Yuan was preparing himself for the onslaught he was about to commit when suddenly he faltered.
He was confused for a split second but quickly realized what was wrong.
The meatbun! He chewed too quick!
Shen Yuan staggered about around his room knocking things over as he clawed madly at throat.
He panicked and panicked as he thought "FUCK! IS THIS SERIOUSLY HOW I FUCKING DIE!?!?!? AHHHHHH!!!!!"
With the lack of air in his body, he collapsed. His head abruptly banged on the table hard.
Gasping for air and writhing on the ground. He knew deep down that he would not survive. Thus, despite his lack of oxygen, he willed himself to curse out his final words.
"Dumbfuck author, dumbfuck novel!"
And then everything faded to black.
That day was the worst day of Shen Yuan's life.
He had not only wasted his time on the worst novel he had ever read in his life, but also possibly experienced the worst ending to a novel in his life.
And while reading that novel, it had nearly taken his life!
When Shen Yuan awoke, what he saw wasn't heaven or hell. But instead, a familiar hospital roof and all of his five family members looking over him with worried expressions.
Apparently Shen Yuan's little sister had been walking downstairs when she heard a bang coming from Shen Yuan's room. Worried, she knocked at his door to ask if he was alright. When he didn't respond, his family eventually kicked down his door and found him lying on the floor unconscious and called an ambulance.
He was severely reprimanded and lectured by his dad, mom, two older brothers, and even his precious little sister! He knew it was all done out of love, but they were still very mean! His father nearly hit him!
After his near unintentional ascendance to the heavens, his family watched him like a hawk 24/7
"A-Yuan! Don't chew too quickly!"
"A-Yuan! Don't run while going downstairs!"
"Oi! A-Yuan! Don't keep your doors locked!"
"Gege! Look both ways before crossing the street!"
ALL THIS JUST BECAUSE OF A STUPID LOW-TIER EROTICA STALLION NOVEL?!?!!
AIRPLANE SHOOTING TOWARDS THE SKY! YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF EVERY SINGLE ONE MY PROBLEMS!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!
There was always one habit that Shen Yuan could never break. No matter how long or boring the book, if he had at least finished it once, he always had to re-read it again. It had always been like this when he was a child, and he had never broken this rule once in his life.
But that was about to change. Even though he had read some painfully long and arduously boring books in his life, it had never played with his mortality before!
He vowed to never ever re-read Proud Immortal Demon Way ever again!
*Ding!*
[Zhongdian.net subscription notification]: [Proud Immortal Demon Way] new chapter! The Extra Chronicles: Chapter 1
"...."
Well... reading extra content technically didn't mean rereading it. (; ￣ ³￣)
...
Shen Yuan had never felt disappointment like this in the entirety of his life
It was all just porn.
All of it was porn.
Shen Yuan's expectations were below zero. But he was still fucking disappointed.
Extra chapters means extra story! Not extra porn!
For every extra's story, there was a minimum of two sex scenes in them!
Great God Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky! I beg of you! Give Bing-ge's cock a break!
Shen Yuan was an idiot to think that the extra stories would resolve, or at least, attempt to resolve any of the original story's numerous plot holes but no! The extras were just episodic wife-of-the-week sex filler bullshit!
This shit is straight garbage!
As was natural to Shen Yuan, he immediately grabbed for his keyboard to prepare another scathing review.
However, he discovered that he couldn't bring himself to type a single word while he was sitting in front of his computer.
Ever since his near death experience, Shen Yuan had been looking back at PIDW a lot.
Whenever the numerous PIDW haters rightfully critiqued the novel, the PIDW fans #2 go-to defense was: "so what if it's amateur writing? It's just a self fulfillment stallion novel! It doesn't need good writing!" Behind "u can u up no can no bb" of course.
That defense had always irked him. "So what if it's a self fulfillment stallion novel?! Any type of novel can have a good story you know! That's just an excuse!"
As PIDW's no. 1 hater/critic he had always thought that the story had been a wasted potential. But, now that he thought about it... He didn't exactly hate the story.
He found stuff like the demon realm monsters and the abundant flora to be interesting and he also found the pacing of the story and the structure of the plot being well written
And no doubt, the best part of the novel was its main protagonist, Luo Binghe! Usually in harem novels like this, the MC's tend to be good-for-nothing's loser chumps who happen to find a garden of girls bimbofied enough to actually want him. But with Bing-ge, that was different! He was cool and ruthless! But not so much to the point of being a crazy sociopath. He repayed kindness with kindness and hate with hate.
No doubt! A high-tier protagonist!
Could it be that he had been too harsh on criticizing PIDW?
NO! OF COURSE NOT! LIKING SOME PARTS OF A STORY DOESN'T MAGICALLY MAKE IT GOOD!
So what if he thought that the demons were kinda cool?! Most of them were just below 40 IQ cannon fodder that didn't even survive beyond the chapter they debuted in!
So what if he found the diverse flora to be kinda interesting?! Most of them were just one-off pollen plot devices for the numerous fuck-or-die situations for the wife of the week!
So what if the plot structure, pacing and protagonist were well written?! That didn't stop the story from being a spew of vulgar nonsensical garbage only existing so that the author vicariously live through his glorious OC!
This was unapologetically, an eternal virgin's wish fulfillment fantasy!
But... It ultimately had only strived to be that to the end. A wish fulfillment fantasy, no?
When Shen Yuan was faced with this dillemma. He had decided.
He'd go outside to lay off some steam!
Due to his numerous health issues, most of his post highschool graduation life had been him idling away reading novels in his room, only going out to get sustenance. But ever since that day, he had decided to go out more. Have a life outside his room you know? Also, Dick Shooting Towards The Sky hasn't posted the remaining extras for a long time now, so he might as well take this as a sign!
So he went forth! From now on, he was gonna free himself from the shackles of being an internet keyboard warrior novel critic and make something of himself!
But, when Shen Yuan crossed the street he had made an error.
He hadn't looked both ways.
He felt firsthand the power of a 1900 kg motor vehicle going 70 km an hour right then and there.
His body was hurting from all over. He was in immense pain. He desperately wanted to breathe but whenever he moved his chest it just hurt too bad.
Even though his ears buzzed like mad, he could faintly tell that some people around him were screaming. He only hopes that it isn't his family.
Unlike last time, he couldn't will himself to say any words. All he could do was gurgle hopelessly in pain.
And then everything faded to black.