Chapter Text
Lately, Akito’s been feeling way hotter than normal. And not in the ‘I’ve got a cold’ sorta way. No, this was a different sort of heat enveloping his very being. He knew it was different because it only ever happened when he was around Toya.
In fact, he even had a ruff estimate of when this weird sensations started.
It was last year, early last year to be specific. Maybe the end of 2 years ago? Okay, so he wasn’t entirely sure. Point was, it started back during his fight with Arata.
To be honest, he would really call it a fight— it was more a singing battle, and he lost. They had decided in a tie, but Akito knew he lost. That was ages ago, though, so it didn’t really matter. What matters is what happened *after* that battle.
—
The four members of Vivid BAD SQUAD were all at Weekend Garage grabbing a snack after another event. It had been pretty successful if you asked them, and they’d even won!
So, naturally as a reward they all treated themselves to snacks from Ken’s cafe, Weekend Garage.
An had decided on some cookie crumble parfait sorta thing that in Akito’s humble opinion…actually looked pretty good. He’d have to try it next time… Kohane got a regular strawberry milkshake with a side of actual strawberries, and the culprit of all his sickening warm feelings himself, Aoyagi Toya got his regular black coffee. Akito himself got pancakes, but that much was obvious.
They were all sat down at a booth not far from the cafe’s front counter. Well, all except for one member— the little hamster disguised as a high school girl herself, Kohane. She’d wandered off somewhere, probably to the bathroom if Akito really had to guess. That left just him, Toya, and An sitting the booth.
For the most part, everyone was quiet, just eating their own sharing of the food and drinks Ken so generously served them on the house. That was, at least, ti’ll Toya broke the silence. “Akito,” Of course, his first word was directing his partners attention to him. Akito glanced up from his stack of fruity pancakes, noticing his shine in Toya’s eyes that he hadn’t noticed before.
It was like the overhead lights were casting this beautiful shadow onto him, lighting him up in all the right places and keeping but the right amount of him in the shadows to leave this aura around him that made it seem as if he was glowing. And as a result of the lights doing a phenomenal job brighting the already glowing essence of Toya, it made his eyes glow and light up with practical sparkles.
Akito felt like he was standing in the middle of a burning building right about now.
“Y-Yeah?” He choked out. He was really glad he wasn’t chewing on any pancakes when Toya said that, or he might have actually choked on his own words. And pancakes, for that matter.
Then, oh god, Toya shot him a soft smile. The sort of smile that could brighten anyone up. The light above him flickered a bit as if to signify this. The way Toya smiled was always so pretty and gorgeous. His cheeks light up with a soft red glow, and the way his mole lifted slightly with the muscles of his cheeks just made Akito’s heart feel like it got stabbed about 47 times. Curse basic mussel movement for making Akito feel this way.
“You did very good out there,” Toya stated with that normal milky warmth in his voice. His voice was so soft and warm, like milk being poured into a cup, ready for cookies to be dipped into it. The way he sung was what Akito imagined floating aimlessly in space felt like, nothing but the cold—air? What was in space anyway?
Besides that— Akito’s own thoughts were starting to kill him and Toya hadn’t even finished his line of dirty praise yet. He was sure he would explode in the next 14 seconds. He always got so insanely flustered at Toya praise, even before now. It made his heart race and all the blood in his body rush straight to his face, making the rest of his body feel like it was floating on a cloud. Though, at least then it wasn’t so prominent as it is now. An was still sitting right beside him, after all, and he was sure she was shifting eyes between the too with the straw in her mouth like a confused puppy.
“I’m proud of you.” Toya finally concluded, and Akito was right. He felt his heart pick up the pace and if he didn’t look anywhere except Toya right now he was positive all his organs would fail and he would explode. He placed the palm of his hand onto his face, perfectly covering his mouth and a bit of his burning cheeks, his eyes shifting over to the very interesting brick wall of Weekend Garage beside him. “Y-Yeah, you too…” He muttered, though considering the small laugh that left Toya’s mouth, he was sure he heard him.
Akito could feel the daggers An was starring into him, still with those wide, all to curious eyes and the front half of a cookie crammed in her mouth. Akito had never been more thankful for Kohane suddenly intervening in what would be the worst conversation of his life.
That was if she didn’t take the WRONG person!
Kohane peaked her head out from behind the wall of the back of Weekend Garage that lead to— a storage closet? That was weird, but who was he to question what Kohane did. “U-Uhm, Aoyagi!” She called out, Toya’s attention quickly shifting to her.
“Could you uhm…help me grab something—?” Her voice came out smaller than he was sure she’d hoped, but that didn’t stop Toya from nodding in agreement. Akito finally shifted himself so he was looking at anything but the wall beside him, and the first thing he saw was An.
Almost exactly like he’d thought, though now she was looking at Kohane. She looked like she wanted to say something, but kept herself quiet. ‘No please, request your help instead—‘ Akito eternally thought, somewhere inside his mind praying she’d suddenly bounce up and saying ‘I can help, Kohane!!’ and run to her partner and squeeze her like she was a rubber duck.
But that never happened. Instead, Toya walked to Kohane and the two disappeared behind the wall. Eternally, Akito groaned. He almost did it for real, but held himself back. He didn’t the second time, though, when An slid closer to him, nudging his side with her elbow.
“Your face is really red, Akito~” Her sickening voice was like the bell of a ring tower being rung right in his ear. This time, he groaned aloud. “Shut up…” He muttered out as a response. An only laughed, way harder than he appreciated.
“What with all that?” She said, her laugh breaking in through her words making the sentence sound pretty choked up. “Getting so flustered over being praised!”
Now Akito’s face wasn’t burning from said flusteredness, instead embarrassment. He turned back to the wall, hiding his face as much from An and he possibly could without making it too obvious. However, the sounds of her sick laughs were still ever too present.
An’s laughter finally calmed down, taking some deep breaths to calm her insidious aftereffects of a laughing fit. Finally, after a good 21 seconds, An had concluded her after shock laugh therapy, but her big smile still remained with the added addition of her brows furrowing, making her look far too mischievous.
“Is it possible that Akito here’s got a crush on Toya~?” She laughed again, but this time it didn’t turn into a fit of uncontrollable laugher.
Akito’s face immediately—somehow—got even warmer, his eyes widening in pure shock. “H-HA?!” He spun his head around, some of his body too, facing An who only gave him a smug look in response.
There was no way, right?! Sure, he thought Toya was really pretty and felt an indescribable warmth fill his entire body when Toya did so much as hold his hand, and sure he thought his voice was like that of an angel who came down from heaven, and sure maybe he was a bit protective of him (but he’d never admit that to anyone, sometimes even himself), but none of that meant anything. He and Toya were just really close, after all. It made sense that he’d view Toya that way.
Though, that didn’t excuse the heat in his body all coming right from his face and lighting him up like a jack-o-lantern. Whatever! That was just the after shocks, it didn’t mean he had suppressed feelings for his partner he was burying even more right now. Not at all!
Besides, even if he did have some sort of feelings for his partner, why would it matter? It’s not like Toya would return that sort of feeling anyway. He wasn’t even sure if Toya felt romantic feelings for anyone, anyway. And the mere idea of Toya rejecting his feelings made his stomach turn and his heart burn so much he thought it would crumble on itself and rot—
“N-No…” He stammered, slumping his body down against the leather of the seat behind him and crossing his arms. An gave him a look, one that read ‘I don’t believe you.’ but Akito didn’t care.
Before An could continue her rain of torment against him, Toya and Kohane came back around the corner. Kohane was holding a basket of some sorts, decorated with some stickers. With Kohane’s grand return, all of An’s attention shifted to her, immediately dumbing 101 questions on her.
Despite the quick change in tone and conversation, the thought still lingered in Akito’s mind like a moth attracted to light. ‘Do I…like Toya?’ God he hated how much he was second guessing himself, and so soon at that. The thought lead to worse thoughts—like him and Toya dating. The word ‘worse’ is used in very scarce context here, as the thought of dating Toya seemed far more pleasant than he thought.
He starred down at his glossy reflection in the table. The blush from before, while fading off now, was still just visible enough to where no one would question it. Akito had a naturally red face, after all.
He gave a small sigh and tuned into the conversation between the other three. He almost missed the concerned look Toya was giving him, looking away the moment Akito made eye contact with him.
—
That night, Akito lay awake in bed, starring intensely into the plain, cream colored ceiling above him. All day, ever since his conversation with An, he’d been thinking about Toya. More specifically, the idea of dating him, living with him, holding hands and cuddling with him, and worst off, *kissing* him. After the emotional roller coaster of the day, Akito had come to one conclusion:
“Fuck…I’m in love with Toya.”
The realization had hit him like a truck, and it did so much damage to his heart he was sure he’d die right then and there. The thought of Toya clouded his mind, covering up the worrying thoughts that came with a realization of that, the most popular being ‘What if he doesn’t like me back?’
Akito flipped over onto his side staring back into the wall beside him. His heart hurt, and even those thoughts of Toya couldn’t stop the way his heart twisted and squeezed as hard as possible. He wouldn’t cry—that was dumb. It wasn’t that big of a problem, it didn’t change anything between him and Toya, it was just a dumb feeling he could easily bury down until it wore off. He didn’t *want* it to change anything between the two. He was perfectly happy with how things were.
This was all An’s fault. If she just hadn’t said anything then Akito could continue to live in ignorant bliss about any dumb feelings he had for his partner.
…No, it wasn’t her fault. He couldn’t blame her for doing what most friends would do in that situation; playful teasing. It was his own fault for burying the feeling. She just happened to resurface it.
He let out a shaky sigh, his hands were shaking and his heart was racing in his chest but it *stung* and it made for such a horrible mix. He gripped onto his pillow tightly. This was way too much, he was positive.
Slowly, he begun to close his eyes. If he could just fall asleep, then he could simply worry about all of this, all of these harsh romantic feelings, tomorrow. Even with the stressful thoughts still lingering in his mind, he thankfully managed to fall into deep slumber.
—
“—kitto?”
Akito snapped his head toward the voice, his thoughts coming to an abrupt end. It was Toya, the very boy of his desire that he had been out to lunch with before practice that afternoon.
For the past few months, that day had been resurfacing Akito’s mind like a broken record player, even haunting his dreams. It wasn’t like he minded it all that much—but it really couldn’t have picked a more inconvenient time to resurface his brain. Right now, they were in their prime to surpass RAD WEEKEND, and Akito couldn’t let a dumb crush get in the way of that.
So, as any normal person does, he buried the thought back into his mind and locked the door with police tape and wood boarding the door up.
Toya caught a hold his daydream, tapping his hand against the table a bit louder than usual before calling out his name.
“Akito?”
Akito looked up, a slightly dazed look filled his wide eyes, one that filled Toya with amusement. His cheeks dusted a light pink glow to them as he caught hold of just how pretty his partner looked just now.
With the sun from the window beside them beating down on his pale skin, it made all his features shine in a way that could only make Akito’s heart race even more. “Y-Yeah? Sorry, I musta zoned out…”
“Ah..” Toya’s gaze softened, but the worry was still ever so present in his eyes. “That’s okay. I was just asking you about our setlist for our next event.”
Akito nodded along as Toya went off about their song choices and such, but, slowly, Akito’s focus moved away from the conversation and more to Toya’s features, his soft voice become his own personal background music admit the bright sun shining down on Toya.
…Jeez. Now that he was actively thinking about it, he really was so down bad for his partner, wasn’t he? If anything, he knew he’d have to get himself in check soon or he’d end up holding the others back.
“—Akito?”
Fuck, he zoned out again. Akito shook his head, pulling himself back into reality to meet his partners eyes. “Yeah, that sounds good.” Akito replied.
Toya smiled, nodding. His smile was so pretty, it made Akito’s heart race in his chest. Once more, he chose to ignore it.
—
You know, this whole ‘being in love with his best friend’ realization was really starting to weigh on Akito.
It was so much easier to ignore before, to not let it get in the way of his singing or his every day life, even. But now? It seemed more present than ever and it was killing him. It was to a point where Akito couldn’t even breathe without it getting in the way. Just the mere thought of Toya would cause his heart to pound uncontrollably in his chest.
It was really exhausting.
Unfortunately for him, he hadn’t been doing a very good job at hiding it. Lately, he’s noticed An giving him odd side glances, mostly whenever he was with Toya. He really wished she’s keep her head where it belongs and not try to bud into his own feelings again , but it’s just his luck that An wouldn’t read his mind and hear his pleas.
The four kids were meeting up at the sekai for practice again today. They were supposed to take the day off, but due to a pet emergency with Kohane, they had to take Thursday off instead. So, now they were making up for it.
Akito had been first to arrive, or so he had thought, making his way into Crase Cafe. To his dismay, he was met with An sitting at the counters spin-chair, telling Meiko something. He couldn’t hear a word she’d said before the bell rung above him, shutting her up faster than he thought he ever could. She stopped her chair abruptly, quick to shut her mouth of whatever words died on her tongue. Meiko also gave him a glance from where she was behind the counter, setting her coffee cup to rest on the cold wood.
“Welcome, Akito.” Meiko greeted with a smile. While Meiko’s smile seemed warm with no ill intent, An’s was a different story. She wore a smug smile that told Akito he should really turn around and go practice at the park alone today, but alas, that wasn’t an option for him. All he could do was step further into the cafe, saying hello to Meiko, too. And An.
“Akito, just the person I wanted to see!” An’s smile widened as she jumped down from the high-top chair. “Speak of the devil, huh, Meiko?” She giggled, Meiko return the favor with a small chuckle.
“Huh?” Akito’s voice felt oddly smaller. He was pretty sure he had a good idea what this would be about, but he really wished he was wrong. “What’s going on?” Maybe if he played dumb…
Meiko pushed herself forward off the counter, a slight hum in her voice. “Then, I’ll leave you two be.” She said, making her way to the back kitchen.
‘ No please, come back, don’t leave me here..! ’ Akito had internally thought. Of course, with Meiko’s lack of ability to read his mind, she was gone, leaving him alone with the subject of the worst conversation he’s ever gonna have in his life.
An.
“Alright, spill it, what’s bothering you so much?” An said the moment Meiko turned the corner. Akito was almost caught off guard by how straight forward she was.
“Haa?” He barked back. He knew what she was talking about, but he’d rather not think about it, let alone admit it. “What are you talking about?” There was a tinge of nervousness to his voice, one that An, raised an eyebrow at. She didn’t seem impressed by the blatant lie.
“Oh c’mon, don’t play dumb!” She pouted, crossing her arms. “You know better than that.”
She was right, Akito knew better than to hide things from his teammates. He learned his lesson a long time ago. But, this was different. It’s not like he was hurting himself or his singing, the opposite, really, he was keeping Toya from being hurt. At least, that was how it sounded in his head.
Akito let out an annoyed sighed, turning his head to the side to bask away from An’s glare digging daggers into him. He stayed quiet, and An did for a moment too.
Then, she let out her own mildly annoyed sigh. “Did something happen between you and Toya?” She asked. She seemed so serious too, it almost surprised Akito. “Haa?” Akito barked up again, snapping his head over to An in his own disbelief.
An was quick to clear up whatever misconceptions were boiling in Akito’s head. “I mean! At first, I thought it was just the fact you’re down bad for him,” Jeez. “But then you started like…avoiding him? So I wanted to make sure nothing bad happened between you guys, is all.”
Akito blinked in confusion. He was…avoiding Toya? Did it really look like that? He didn’t even know. He knew that he was trying not to get too caught up in him, but avoiding?
Toya didn’t feel that way, right?
“I’m not—“ Akito paused, taking a deep breath before he rambled for one minute too long. “I’m not avoiding him…”
An cocked her head to the side, raising an eyebrow. “Really?” The genuine confusion in her voice only made to worsen Akito’s bubbling anxiety. “I mean— Normally you’re all up on him during practice and when we’re at Weekend Garage, and lately…”
If An was this certain on this, then Akito knew he definitely had to do something about this before it was way too in the way, before he held the others back.
“…I’m not trying to avoid him.” Akito’s voice had shrunk a bit. An probably noticed, but she didn’t say anything. “Then why are you?” She asked.
Akito really didn’t want to tell An of all people. In fact, he didn’t want to tell anyone at all. He’s rather keep that fact locked in his mind and never let it get out to anyone he knows ever. And especially not Toya.
He felt a bit dizzy, so he finally dropped himself down into one of the booths, with An following and sliding into the seat in front of him.
He knew this was getting in the way of practice, it had to be if An was bringing it up. He wondered if Kohane had noticed too. Even then, he must be making Toya worry, holding him back because of his own worry for Akito’s well-being.
Right, he had to face this. He’d just really not do it with An. Maybe Kohane? She said she was the one to confess to An, anyway. She’d probably be better at this than the girl failure Shiraishi An.
“…Does it have to do with your crush on him after all?”
Shit. Akito forgot to say something, and now An was getting all her own ideas. He sluggishly lifted his head away from his hand.
He really shouldn’t get so worked up over this. Besides, if it weren’t for An he wouldn’t have even acknowledged these feelings in the first place.
…Right. If it weren’t for An.
Maybe he was being a bit dramatic, maybe she doesn’t know something about these sorta things, after all. Then, it wouldn’t hurt to at least try.
Slowly, Akito nodded. An’s eyes went wide, but only for a second. Like they said ‘ I can’t believe you admitted it!’ Akito could also roll his eyes at the idea.
“Wow, I didn’t expect you to just admit it like that!” An smiled, that smile turning into a small giggle, and that giggle making Akito slam his heads into his arms on the table again. “I guess some things can change, huh?”
Akito lifted his head just enough to peak at An. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He barked back, though there wasn’t any malice laced in his voice. Just embarrassment. An simply smiled. “I mean one year ago you couldn’t even fathom the idea of being in love with your partner, and look at you now. You’ve grown so much!” She reached her arm across the table, ruffling Akito hair. Akito’s face scrunched up as he swatted her away. “Whatever.” He tried hard to ignore his face turning red. “Are you gonna help me or what?”
“What, help you confess?” An questioned, and Akito internally facepalmed. “Isn’t that what this whole conversation was leading to?”
An seemed to realize what he meant, judging but the small nod she gave herself. “Oh yeah, well, I wasn’t really sure how I was gonna approach it at first, so I didn’t have a game plan…” She ran a hand thought the back of her hair with a nervous laugh. Akito wanted to roll his eyes again, but he couldn’t help but find it a bit amusing himself. “But!” An suddenly shouted, “I can help you confess, if that’s what you want!”
Akito nodded, a lot quicker this time. He’d made his resolve; to stop himself from holding Toya back anymore, he was going to face his own feelings face on, and confess. If Toya rejected him…
Well, he’d figure things out from there. Baby steps.
“I’m not really sure how to go about it. I don’t know how much he’s really noticed.” An nodded in agreement. “He hasn’t said anything to me or Kohane…”
That made sense. If Toya thought something was up with Akito, he would have just gone straight to Akito himself. That doesn’t mean he wouldn’t notice, though.
An thought for a moment. The two could hear the clock ticking from above the cafe counter. Akito took a glance up. 12:30. The other two would be here any minute. Maybe now wasn’t a very good time—
Suddenly, An slammed her hands onto the table. Akito nearly leaped back in his side of the booth. “I got it!” She announced.
“What if you gave him hints?” She suggested, “That’s what I did with Kohane!” Akito raised an eyebrow at that. “And did it work?” Considering An wasn’t even the one to confess, Akito’s hopes weren’t very high for her method of confession.
An paused. “…Well, not exactly. BUT! If she confessed to me then it had to work at least a little, right?” Akito supposed he couldn’t argue with that. At least, not in the time they had.
“Here, do you guys have anything coming up?” An asked. Akito thought for a moment, then nodded. “We got an event next week. On Monday.” An nodded, ‘Perfect, perfect…’ Her eyes seemed to read. “Then, how about you suggest some love songs?”
Akito felt his face redden up, and he wasn’t even sure if he was embarrassed or flustered anymore. “Haa?!” Now his voice had a bit more bark to it. “C’mon! You’re trying to tell him you love him, right? Do it with a love song!”
Akito wanted to push the idea away, say it was ridiculous and move on. But, he was trying to confess to Toya, and he and Toya had already covered one love song before. An’s idea seemed completely ridiculous, and really embarrassing if Toya caught on too quickly, but he could give it a shot. So, he sighed in defeat, nodding his head. “I guess I could try it…”
An gave a quick cheer. “Hooray! Don’t worry bro, you’ve got this!” She gave him a playful punch to the shoulder, one that Akito only turned his head at.
Just then, the doorbell rung from above the door and in walked the remaining members of Vivid BAD SQUAD. Kohane and Toya. An gave Akito a wink and ran over to greet Kohane with all the kisses in the world.
Toya gave Akito a small glance. For a moment, Akito would see a worried feeling lace his expression, but that didn’t seem to stop him from greeting Akito with his usual manner. Of course, Akito greeted him back.
Once An was done violating Kohane’s face and neck with kisses, Kohane spoke up, “Then, should we get started with practice?” An looked like she was going to say something, but Akito beat her too it.
“Ah— Actually, before we start…I gotta ask Toya something first.” Toya tilted his head to him. Kohane looked between the two, then to An who smiled and nodded at her. Kohane’s eyes widened, but then she giggled and— Did An tell Kohane about this?! No way. She said she didn’t even have a plan!
Whatever. An’s mischievous plans aside, the girls gave the two boys some room to themselves, and Toya asked the obvious question: “What is it, Akito?”
“Well, it’s about our setlist for the next event...” Toya nodded along. “Instead of doing Ghost City Tokyo, could we do…”
He paused for a second. The words were coming to his mind and he had to spit them out despite how embarrassing this really was.
“Could we do Aun no Beats?”