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Tic Toc — 7 o' Clock
The hands on the clock kept going, like they had no particular destination in mind, and no intention to stop any time soon.
Tic Toc — 8 o’ Clock
And Rinne hadn't arrived yet. Maybe Hotarou was stupid to think she would.
In order for his friends to get to know each other better, Hotarou had organised a small secret santa gift exchange just between the six of them. Due to recent events, they hadn't gotten a chance to exchange the gifts yet, so they decided to meet today at 7:30pm to do so. But it's 8 now, and a crucial member of the group is missing. They could start without her, he knew that, but he didn't want to. Hotarou came up with this idea not just to bring the friends from his two worlds together, but to make sure Rinne knows she’san important part of his world. 15 minutes ago, they had sat down on the table to wait, with Hotarou making sure he chose a seat facing the window so he could see her coming. Every time his eyes detected the flicker of a motion outside, hope would ignite in his heart. Maybe Rinne had decided to come after all? But in the end, it was always just him and the reflection of the crackling flames in the fireplace.
“Maybe we should... open the gifts now.”
Hotarou hesitates, but he doesn't want to keep the other 4 waiting, either. It's Christmas — they probably have other things to do.
“We can still wait, you know?” Seina replies softly, but Hotarou insists. So they start. Sabimaru gives Seina her gift first.
“Oh, wow, we had each other in circle, neat!” Kaijiki exclaims.
Neat… yes, by design. Hotarou hadn't been very honest when he gave them the little papers with names on them. It was not coincidence. He had made sure that Rinne got him, and he got Rinne, just in case she didn’t show up. If that happens, Hotarou had thought, at least the others would have fun and get their gifts. He was okay with getting nothing — what he wants more than anything is for her to be here.
Even though he knew there was a very high chance she wouldn't show up.
Not because she wasn't a good friend, no — Rinne was a great friend. She just wasn't used to it, (having friends, that is) and Hotarou felt like she struggled with that new experience. So he didn't want to force her to be there, or make her feel guilty for potentially neglecting someone else's gift. Because regardless, he would get his gift. To him, that was just spending time around the people he loves and seeing them grow closer together.
Tic Toc — 9 o’ Clock
Says her wrist watch. Rinne sits alone on one of the outside tables in a cafe. There is a weak but cold breeze, making her want to hide her face under her scarf even more. It was Christmas — at some point it had been. People were in their homes with their loved ones celebrating... maybe… at least they were warm. Unlike her. But really, that’s her own fault. The small box on her lap, neatly wrapped in a giant red bow, reminded her of that. She could have gone, but she didn't. If someone asked her why, she wasn't sure she'd have an answer.
On the other table sits a young couple — maybe one or two years older than her. Rinne had been watching them. Why had she been watching them? What's this feeling that comes up her throat whenever they start laughing at something seemingly absurd? Envy? It couldn't be envy Why should she even yearn for that?
“They're probably laughing at something absurd now, too,” Rinne mumbles to no one in particular.
“Why don't you go and find out?”
A soft, familiar voice comes from the other chair on Rinne’s table, startling her from any thought she could have been having at the moment.
Rinne had been so occupied with scenes in her mind that she didn't notice a familiar woman joining her at the table.
When she turned her head, she immediately recognised who it was.
“Ichniose-san!”
In front of her sits Hotarou's mother. Ichinose Tamami is a sweet woman, from what Rinne recalls. When spending time around her, she understood immediately why Hotarou was such an encouraging presence that lit up the room. But really, when Rinne’s thoughts run towards that direction, she tries to stop them in their tracks.
“Rinne-chan? What are you doing here so late? Wasn't your gift exchange today?” asks Tamami.
The older woman doesn't sound disappointed — she was more surprised than anything. Maybe the feeling of disappointment is what Rinne feels towards herself.
“Is everything okay?”
The woman's voice comes again, and something in its understanding cadence makes Rinne tell the truth.
“I..I just don't know,” Rinne admits.
“What do you not know? And if you don't know something, why don't you ask?” Tamami asks.
“I don't know if… I don't know if I deserve it.”
“Deserve what? A gift?” Tamami says. “Rinne-chan, if we could, we would gift you the world.”
“Yes... I mean no... I mean in a way.. I just don't know if I deserve to be part of the group.”
The last part of the sentence is so quiet that Rinne is afraid the wind had swept it away, leaving her without the courage to repeat the words again.
“What?” Hotarou's mom looks even more confused now. But in her eyes, Rinne detects the slightest hint of sadness.
“I just… Hotarou put in all this effort to organise this, and everyone else is always so energetic and excited. And then… then there's me. I mean, I've always never belonged to a group, so this isn't new, but…” Rinne hopes the wind is just as effective in carrying the hint of tears away that have started to form.
“But... I get invited one time and immediately get cold feet. That's really stupid. If I'm that stupid, I shouldn't let others fall victim to it.”
And that was the truth — in her eyes, at least. Hotarou always makes sure to invite her to everything, and include her in everything, and all she does is bring everyone's energy down. Why would people want to befriend someone like that? Why would they want to be around someone like that? Rinne hopes that the kind woman won’t notice her efforts to disappear more into her scarf.
“You can't be that stupid. You bought a gift, right?”
Rinne had forgotten about the small box she subconsciously had started hugging close to her body. Its weight presses on her like she’strapped under a boulder.
“Yes, but I —”
“And even if you were stupid, which I highly doubt, Rinne-chan, considering how everyone at the school talks about you, they still invited you. He still chose you.”
“What?”
“You said it yourself, right? Hotarou keeps inviting you. He keeps choosing to spend time with you. Even if you were stupid, they chose you. They chose Rinne.”
“...”
“They invited Rinne. No matter who or what they think Rinne is, no matter who you think Rinne is, they keep choosing Rinne.”
Rinne isn’t sure, but the wind isn’t stabbing like before. Her face still feels wet, however.
“Rinne?”
“Yes, and... you clearly want to choose them too. You bought the gift, and you wrapped it so precisely and prettily. You want to be there, and they want you there, so I don't see where the issue is.”
Tic Toc — 10 o ‘Clock
The clock is still going. The others had had to go home, and his mother isn’t back from her last minute shopping trip yet, and the clock keeps going.
Hotarou looks around the room. Now, it’sjust him, the clock, and the crackling fire giving the room a warm orange glow… and the rectangular box on the table — thesole rectangular box on the table, left after his friends had exchanged and opened their gifts. Hotarou had thought long and hard about what to get Rinne, on the off chance she came. In the process, he realised he didn't know her much. Hotarou knew her favorite alchemy formulas, and he could predict how she would move in battle, but outside of that he didn't know Rinne. Sometimes, he wasn't sure if a Rinne outside of that existed, which is why he had hoped she'd come. Maybe they could find out together who Rinne outside of that was. So the gift hadn't been that personal; he didn't know if she'd like it, and if he was honest, the wrapping job was very clumsy. But he wishes she was here, so he would be able to give it to her regardless.
The creaking of the front door startles him out of his thoughts.
“I'm back... and I even brought something.” His mother's voice came from its direction, followed by the sound of her putting her bags down and heading towards the kitchen. But there was another sound? Another set of footsteps?
Houtaro turned around to see a red faced Rinne.
Tic Toc — 11 o’ Clock
“Ichinose...” Rinne says. Her voice comes quietly, or maybe it’s the thick scarf hiding most of her features that makes it sound so soft.
“Kudou? You made it.” Despite everything, he can’t help but light up at her presence. “Where have you been? We waited and I thought —”
“I'm sorry,” Rinne says.
“Sorry for what?” Hotarou asks.
“I made you wait.”
“But you're here now.”
“You can't wait forever, Ichinose!”
That’smore the tone of the Rinne he knows, but there’s something new in her voice. If someone focused, they'd be able to detect a small break.
“You can't wait for me forever!”
“But I did?” Hotarou says. “And you can't stop me from doing it again.”
“But why? It doesn't make any sense!”
“Maybe not, but that's what I chose to do. And I'll choose it again. You can't stop me!” Hotarou declares
“What if I didn't come?” Rinne asks. “What if I never intended to?”
“I would have no regrets,” Hotarou says. “And besides, if you never intended to come, why is there a gift in your hand?”
Hotarou's voice never, wavered despite the emotional roller coaster he was experiencing during every sentence she spoke. He doesn’t fully understand yet, but maybe one day he will. What he can do now is try. Try, be patient and lead by example. Rinne is much better academically than him, which is why a lot of people try to use her as a model to improve their grades. Hotarou hopes he can lead her by example in the other aspects.
So he walks to the table, picking up the box and handing it to her.
“This is for you.”
For a second, Hotarou is scared she won’t react to his outstretched out hand. And she seems to hesitate, but he keeps his hands exactly where they were.
And after another chime, she finally takes it, albeit hesitantly.
“Come on, open it.”
Rinne is very careful with the wrap — even more careful than he was when he wrapped it originally.
She lifts the object inside the box and observes it.
“A book..about planets?” Rinne asks.
“Well I, I didn't really know what you liked, but you have a curious nature, Kudou — so I thought, why not help you explore the world?” Hotarou pauses. “I... I know it's not perfect, and I am guessing here, but I hope you can enjoy it at least a little bit? Maybe?”
To Rinne, it was perfect. If someone asked her what she wanted, she wouldn't know the answer. She didn't know a lot of things. So maybe reading about the universe was a good start.
“Thank you... I really like it.”
Rinne isn’t sure if she sounds genuine, but her feelings are.
“This is… for you.”
She holds the box with both her hands and reaches her arms out towards him.
Rinne feeela like her gift was very impersonal, too. That had added to her guilt.
Hotarou doesn’t hesitate to open the box —nly to end up looking confused. “These look like… office supplies?”
“They're top loaders.”
“What?”
“You know, you can put cards in there to keep them safe. I’ve seen people people online put trading cards and idol photo cards in there and decorate them. I thought maybe you'd want to do that with the Chemys.”
A light goes up in Hotarou's head, and he smiles. But to Rinne, it seems like the entire room is suddenly brighter.
“THAT’S PERFECT! THANK YOU SO MUCH!” he exclaims.
His excitement sounds so genuine, but a voice in Rinne's head wants her to believe he’s putting on an act for her sake. They are basically office supplies, after all. “A-are you sure?”
“Yes, of course! Why wouldn't I be?” Hotarou asks.
“Ichinose, you don't have to —”
Whatever Rinne wanted to say is interrupted by Hotarou’s mother coming into the room, carrying two colorful mugs and an overwhelming smell of something hot and sweet.
“Two hot chocolates with marshmallows, coming right up,” she says, putting them down on the table before heading back towards the kitchen.
“Oh, and Rinne-chan? You can't leave before finishing yours. That would be rude.”
Tic Toc — 12 o ‘Clock