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The dark and hot night was making itself felt, beads of sweat were on the back of her head, but it did not prevent her from thinking about everything in the world. Fatigue was present because of the room with many people, where she had been just recently. Birthday, shouts and wishes of all the best were still felt in her ears, at least the rest.
Marinette isn't sure, but there are exactly one hundred stars in the sky right now. Not a thousand, not two thousand, not even a million. There are surprisingly few stars today, and this is the only time she's ever cared about them. It's been a long time since she's been to a party at Adrien's house—Nino's birthday. She can't pretend to be happy anymore, and now all the parties are at Adrien's. Marinette didn't mind, not at all. On the contrary, it gave her a pleasant and nostalgic feeling. It reminded her of better times, like a year ago, or the first big party here, when she was a lovesick fool who came and dressed up as a guy, calling herself "Marino", as if that disguise was enough for no one to recognize her. It was stupid, no one really recognized her.
A dry laugh escaped her lips, her breath hot even on such a hot night. It reminded her of Luka—and they had talked today. Long, painfully. But painfully because of her, because of the topic she had brought up. About what she had never wanted to happen in the end. It had once been her greatest fear, not even comparable to her fears of childhood or confessing to Adrien some time ago.
That was the point, her fears about Adrien were pointless; because they had passed, just as everything they had been building for so long had passed.
“You shouldn’t force yourself to stay here,” Luka advises her, still seeing her strangely anxious state. “After recent events, are you sure-”
Marinette sighs, growing a little tired of his concern. She appreciated it, really, but there was no point in worrying anymore. Not just about the breakup, not just about the tightness in her chest, not just about the headache from the stress; but about her future circumstances and decision.
“Luka,” she calls, interrupting him, and then she smiles, forced and gently, trying to show even with her eyes that she shouldn’t care, not about this particular situation, anyway. “I’m… okay. You don’t have to worry anymore. It’s not as hard as it seems.”
He said nothing, she said nothing in return, and that was the end of the story. They stood in the corner, watching Adrien, Nino, and Alya, happily chatting. She was glad he was doing better. She was glad he looked happier without her. That was all she had ever wanted for him. Suddenly, she wanted winter, snow, Christmas—but not summer and heat. Heat was something she associated with painful situations, and in winter she seemed to have never felt anything like that in her life, only looking with her glassy blue eyes at the snow and dark sky.
“We’re doing better,” Marinette decided to share for some reason, and Luka stared at her in surprise. “He... called me recently, apparently, only on the phone he can talk to me normally, not like in public,” she smiles bitterly, now sincerely, remembering that he even laughed once. “For a moment, I thought that nothing happened and that we were in the rain again, where he gave me an umbrella for the first time.”
What a pity that soon it won't matter.
But this is her last chance. She has made up her mind. She feels sorry to leave Luka standing next to her, her friends far away, but she has already decided everything for herself. Seeing her parents for the last time almost brought her to tears today, but she held on. Now, she doesn't want to hold on anymore.
“I’ll call him tonight,” Marinette says decisively, looking only at the beautifully dressed Adrien. “There’s still time. But, there’s only this night left, no more, according to my… decision, which I will hint to you now.”
Now she turned to Luka, about to smile at him one last time. In the past, she should have been a better girl for him. Marinette hadn't treated him the way he deserved. He was too kind and sincere, too innocent for someone like her.
“Proud or not, you are the second to last person who talked to Ladybug.”
Luka was shocked, but his face immediately changed to something Marinette had never seen before. His eyes were now blazing with anger and pain at the same time. She didn't want to intentionally make him angry, that was the last thing she wanted for him.
“Please, try to calm down now and don’t tell anyone. Thank you. Thank you for everything. I’m grateful forever, really. For help, for all moments, for… meeting you. I’m sorry.”
“You can’t…” he growled, clenching his fists and looking straight at her. “You can’t, that’s out of the question. What the hell are you thinking when you say something like that? Right now, you-!”
It was sad to watch, but if he had questions, Marinette was still ready to answer them, without a drop of lies this time. There was no way she could lie now, especially to him.
“Don’t say anything,” Luka cut her off, “Don’t say anything! You are choosing this egoistic path, leaving everything and everyone behind? You can’t... damn it, Marinette, I’m not letting you go...!”
She wanted to hug him when she saw tears in his eyes, but she left without turning around. He tried to stop her, grabbed her by the sleeves of her clothes, but it was all in vain. In the end, she left alone, and no one noticed this conflict, surprisingly. Luka texted and called her after that, and this also brought tears to her eyes.
And right now she's here, on the roof of some building, like Marinette, even though she didn't get here like Marinette. The loss to the world will be high, it will be hard, but all her choices have always been for the best. Marinette takes out her phone, ignoring Luka and Alya’s messages. Apparently, he had already managed to tell her. But at the moment, she only cares about one thing. The last call on the phone, on the phone, on the device through which Adrien could now talk to her normally.
He apparently hadn't heard about all this, and she immediately asked him to leave the house or hide somewhere. Adrien did so, understanding even now. She began to talk to him about ordinary things, as if akumas and villains didn't exist, as if their romantic relationship had never existed. They even laughed together at his early constant phrases about her being just a friend.
Marinette finally heard his beautiful, kind laugh—it reminded her that he wasn't just her ex... he was something deeper. It was a connection that would never completely go away, no matter how angry he was at her.
But was he even angry anymore?
Now she wasn't sure.
“Compared to Chat Noir, I'm a real slowpoke,” he remembered the other version of himself, still laughing slightly. "As him, I was like a possessed animal, never letting go of you. Hah, it was even easier that way... when I only loved someone who wasn't really you.”
Ouch. It really did hurt.
So, anger and resentment were still present? But Marinette only smirked, looking further at the hundred stars in the sky.
“Well, I was a lot cooler back then,” she felt a lump in her throat as she recalled the moments. “A hero, a confident girl... everything I wanted to be but couldn’t for a long time. It worked for you too, right?”
“But as you already know, I have my sins. You are the main example of this. I have a lot of guilt on my shoulders. I had to be the worst liar. Maybe I'm just like Lila, but just regretful? Well, in that case I didn’t have a right to judge her.”
Marinette hears Adrien's breath, and it sounds sympathetic and disappointed. She didn't need him to feel sorry for her. He should have kept hating her.
“Marinette...” he even started in a disappointed tone. “Look, I've had a lot of time to think about my words and actions during our breakup, and some of it really was unnecessary. It's terrible what emotions can do to a person. It's true, I've spent a lot of time dealing with my anger and feelings of betrayal, but...”
Adrien was silent for a moment, apparently thinking about his words.
“I should have handled this situation differently,” he finally manages to say, having come to this interesting conclusion. “I acted like a child, I was hurt, but... I think we had a chance to work this out and not give up so easily. I let you go too easily, I got angry too easily. And I regret it, Marinette.”
He paused, then continued. “I can’t say that all the anger is gone, but even if it isn’t, I’m really sorry. It’s… I shouldn’t have left you in your time of need, shouldn’t have thought only of how hard it was for me. I could have… handled the situation more appropriately.”
She nodded to herself, not understanding why, just as she didn't understand Adrien’s words. He hadn't done anything wrong, what was he sorry for? Now she thought that he had done the right thing back then. Who wouldn't do the same thing, having learned such a crazy secret? Some people would go crazy in his place.
“You have nothing to apologize for, Adrien,” and she meant it. “You didn’t know better, and I probably would have done the same as you. There’s no excuse for what I did and what I lied about, and I ended up facing the consequences. But you don’t have to blame yourself for that; you did the right thing. I don’t think our relationship would have lasted even without it, because I wouldn’t have been able to be with you for so long while dying of regret and thinking about it all the time.”
“No, wait,” but Adrien disagreed. “This whole situation wasn’t your fault. The original root was my own father, and I should have paid attention to him first, instead of dumping all the pain and aggression on you. The fact that he decided to act like a jerk and lie to me, and then leave me, is his fault and his problem, not yours. You tried your best, Marinette, and I know it. When I remembered your dead look in London, I realized how much you didn’t want this and how sincere you were.”
Tears stung her eyes, and now she didn't want to stand anymore. She felt better, at least in the last moments she would feel good. She smiled happily, now knowing that he didn't hate her. That was enough for her, and she didn't want to wait anything else from him. She wanted to say something, but then she heard a familiar scream, which gave her goosebumps.
Adrien had warned her, saying he would be there soon. Oh my god, Luka, why… she had never wanted him to get involved in this, never wanted him to witness this. He had been through too much already, and the last thing she wanted was to hurt him again. He was too good a person for this; and her heart felt too broken again, like this day in London.
But she couldn't hang up, she wanted him, she wanted to hear his voice for the last time. The voice that changed her and brought color to her once dull life.
“Marinette...” he came back, and she didn’t want to hear that voice anymore, full of worry. “What’s going on? Luka just came up to me in a panic, shouting that you’re in danger...”
But she remained silent. She couldn't tell him. But she couldn't lie to him anymore either.
“Marinette... what's going on...?” he sounded like he was on the verge of tears. Marinette scolded herself again, hating herself with all her heart for hearing his tears again. “Answer me, right now, damn it! Where are you? What's wrong with you? What-”
“Adrien, calm down,” she decided to pull herself together for his sake, and decided to calm him down as best she could. “There's no reason to worry. There's no need for anything. Breathe, nothing-”
“No!” Adrien interrupted, already breaking into a scream full of pain and excitement. “Where are you- fuck, I know you went out. You're somewhere on the street, right?”
“I told you-”
“Where. Are. You?” He spoke more slowly, as if in alphabetical order. “Stop it Marinette, tell me right now where you are! Luka, he-he couldn't joke like that with me! That's not a funny joke... damn, oh my god, Marinette!”
“Adrien, please,” she said, her voice gentle this time, and he immediately shut up. “This… don’t do anything about it. Everyone will probably worry about you, and I don’t want that. Have fun while you can.”
“I’m not going back without you!” he panicked again, and all he could do was beg and cry. “Tell me where you are and then we’ll go back there together. Please… just tell me where you are. I’m going outside, I’ll find you, I-”
“I’m sorry for everything,” her voice was shaking now, too, knowing that this was the last time she would hear it. “I’m sorry for all the pain you’ve been through. You deserve so much better, and I hope you get it in the future. Live and enjoy life, keep saving the world, and most importantly, be yourself.”
Her cheeks were full of tears, and she could hear sobs coming from the phone that were making her feel worse. “I love you,” she said finally, acknowledging that it hadn’t changed since then and probably never would. Their relationship was too painful; together or not together, it would be painful and difficult for both of them. “I’m proud of you. It’s only going to get better, and I know it.”
“Don't say that!” he still didn't calm down, and she understood him perfectly. “Please... where are you, Marinette... I'm running, I'm running after you, just tell me where you are!”
“... Goodbye,” she said finally and hung up the phone with shaking hands. Marinette took a shuddering breath, putting the phone in her pocket. The familiar streets of Paris were beautiful, and she was glad that the last thing she saw would be this view.
Marinette Dupain-Cheng did a lot of mistakes in her life, and this will be her last ever mistake, but at the same time, best option for everyone.
She walked to the edge of the roof, smiling at the sky she hoped she would reach.
“Marinette, wait!”
A familiar scream reached her ears, but when she saw the boy running in tears, she also saw that he didn't see her, still searching.
This brought another tear in her eye. Or… this time, the real last one tear.
But he still tried to find her, running while crying out loud.
And maybe he won’t stop.
Never. Or… for all night. Before someone will get him and tell that he was late.
But he isn’t. He isn’t, he never was. But he was.
That was her last thought.