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Lifesteal was having a marriage. Parrot and Ash have been enemies since the beginning, so everyone thought it would be hilarious to marry them together. With an actual, real life qualified priest to officiate, everyone got to work with their respective duties.
The church was built, everyone had their roles, and Parrot and Ash are kept clueless to the intrigue. But… This IS the Lifesteal SMP. And while it is hilarious to marry off enemies to each other, it is not truly Lifesteal if there wasn’t at least a few people with intrigues of their own.
You see, Clownpierce is a feared player. The “Deadliest” player. While Rekrap is an all-rounded nice guy who has the skills to be the villain, yet he is content with making complicated traps and harmless pranks. So what happens if you take these two together?
Branzy was the one who thought up the plan. Behind everyone’s backs, he privately talked with Parrot and Ash about his idea to marry Clownpierce and Rekrap together. Parrot was amused, while Ash was skeptical. Regardless, they agreed to help “set up” a wedding. Their roles? To grind for materials for church building.
Meanwhile Pangi was informed of the additional marriage that was happening. Puzzled, he agreed.
“So, after we marry off Parrot and Ash, we just drag Clown and Rek to the altar?” Pangi asked.
“Yes. Exactly. I’ll have their speech prepared as well,” replied Branzy. “Oh and, Parrot and Ash still don’t know this is actually THEIR wedding too. Just a combined wedding. But they think it’s Clown’s and Rek’s.”
“Gotcha.”
The wedding between Parrot and Ash went smoothly. There was chaos, there was death, and Pangi might have forgotten to inform them that Branzy was a real ordained minister, but all those were mere trifles. For Pangi, Branzy and the newlywed couple, they were disappointed that Rekrap didn’t show up. The newlyweds were outraged that it was originally THEIR wedding to begin with. Regardless, it still remained a fact that Clownpierce and Rekrap didn’t actually get married on the same day.
It only took a few days for Pangi and Branzy to plan a second wedding. While Rekrap did not attend the first one, he would come to his own wedding. Once again, the plan was in motion. The church was already built, so this time there was less to do. They once again approached everyone on the server, giving them roles and setting a date. Clownpierce and Rekrap were left clueless.
The day came, and Pangi sighed in relief as he saw Rekrap online. Ordained minister Branzy sent a message telling everyone to meet at the church. Branzy was standing in front of everyone. This time, instead of an altar with wedding arches, there was a rostrum, with Branzy standing behind it, as if ready to give a lecture. Everyone took their seats. As if by design, (it definitely was, everyone else avoided the front row) Rekrap and Clownpierce sat on the front row. Branzy made a whole speech about marriage, and how the newlywed Parrot and Ash have surprisingly not annulled or divorced yet. Playing along with their script, Parrot grumbled, Ash pulled out his sword, while everyone else cheered.
“Seeing how successful we were, let’s now get Rek and Clown up on stage!” Branzy exclaimed.
Rekrap cheered, albeit skeptical at why he was called out. He walked over to Branzy. “Me? Why?”
Clownpierce too, walked over to Branzy.
“Because….” Branzy explained. “IT’S YOUR WEDDING!”
Pangi broke the rosturn, while PrinceZam hastily rebuilt the wedding arches. Or at least, he tried to. Seeing how Clownpiece took his sword out and looked at him, the arches were only half completed when he backed away.
“No, no, Clown…” Branzy stepped forward, putting himself between Clownpierce and PrinceZam. “This was MY idea, my two friends, you both have been lonely for too long.”
“I DON’T AGREE TO THIS!” Rekrap exclaimed.
“I knew this was a trap.” Clownpierce put his sword away, only to hold out a few splash potions.
Branzy hastily placed his hand on Clownpierce’s shoulder. “Cmon man, you’ll be fine.”
Pangi had kept his distance the moment he broke the rostrum. With a grin on his face, he came forward and wrapped an arm around Rekrap’s shoulder. “I believe in you. We may not have had the bride walk down the aisle this time, because frankly it was too obvious, but hey, why not get married since you’re already at the altar? I’ve sent you both your wedding skins too.”
Both Rekrap and Clownpierce checked their messages. Rekrap was the bride.
“Do I really have to?” Clownpierce asked. Despite his hesitation, he still changed to his skin. His clown mask looked out of place with the tuxedo.
Rekrap, too, had changed his skin. A few giggles were heard from the crowd. Rekrap played along, laughing at the absurdity of his appearance. “Am I pretty enough for you?” He teases.
Clownpierce stared at him, looked down at his own outfit, then back to Rekrap.
“We are here today, to witness these two lovers…” Branzy began his pastor’s speech.
….
The crowd goes silent as Branzy continues. Rekrap and Clownpierce looked at each other. Despite the death glare that the latter was giving, Rekrap stayed calm. In fact, he smiled. He did his best to look lovingly at his husband-to-be, playing along with the joke. Despite not attending the previous wedding, he heard that it was a big event, and he was all too happy to participate in this one. Branzy’s speech finally comes to an end.
“Clownpierce, do you take Rekrap as your wife?”
“....”
“Clown…” Branzy glares at him.
“...I do.” Clownpierce acquiesced.
“Rekrap, do you take Clownpierce as your husband?” Branzy now turns to Rekrap.
“I DO!”
“You may now kiss the bride.” This time, Branzy strategically steps back just as he finishes his final lines.
Everyone was expecting Clownpierce to gear up, throw a few potions on himself and to start killing someone. Even Rekrap was ready to throw an invisible potion and run away. However, Clownpierce instead stepped forward and grabbed Rekrap’s arm.
“Clown? What are you doing?” Rekrap hesitantly asked.
“Uh…” Branzy took another step back.
To everyone else, it looked as if the groom was just about ready to kill his new wife.
“SOMEONE SAVE HIM!” Pangi exclaimed from the benches.
To everyone’s surprise, Clownpierce cupped Rekrap’s cheek, leaned forward and kissed him. The crowd erupted into cheers. Not even Parrot and Ash’s wedding was successful in getting someone to kiss.
Rekrap stood there, stunned. Clownpierce’s mischievous glance caught him off guard. What everyone else did not realise was, Clownpierce had used his right hand to cup Rekrap’s cheek. It covered their mouths from everyone else. With his thumb on Rekrap’s lips, Clownpierce meticulously kissed his own thumb, careful to not actually come into contact with Rekrap’s lips.
“Oh…” Rekrap grinned. He playfully wrapped his arm around Clownpierce, moaning slightly as if deepening the kiss.
“They want a show? Let’s give them a show.” Clownpierce whispered. “You okay with that?”
“Sure…”
Clownpierce moved his other arm to Rekrap’s waist, giving it a gentle squeeze. Even Branzy watched nervously at how brazen the newlywed couple were.
To begin with, Branzy was too stunned to realise what actually transpired. From his view, he could technically see it was a stage kiss, but the cheering and shouting from the audience distracted him. By the time Rekrap’s arms were around Clownpierce, even he was cheering alongside the audience.
“Okay okay, let’s keep it PG guys,” Branzy chuckled.
Clownpierce finally pulled away, never leaving his gaze from his new bride. Rekrap stared at his husband lovingly, as if smitten from the supposed steamy kiss they just shared.
“That was an AMAZING kiss, my dear husband…” Rekrap’s tone was playful yet tinged with affection. The crowd cheered.
“Yes.” Clownpierce grinned. “A wonderful kiss, fitting for our first time.”
The celebration came to a halt when Clownpierce finally pulled out his sword. He lunged at Pangi, chasing him out of the church. The wedding ended with at least three people hunted down and killed by Clownpierce. Rekrap didn’t reveal to anyone that it was a stage kiss, and neither did Clownpierce. Everyone thought it was a real kiss, and the newlyweds played along when they got teased for it.
No one found out. And the “newlyweds” were content with keeping it that way just for fun.