Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

This was ridiculous.

Ridiculous.

Penelope shook her head in disbelief. How was this place real? How was she here? How had she ever expected to be happy in rainy London when this existed? She had never been more grateful for her unhinged post-breakup self. This was a much better idea than bangs.

Standing atop a small hill, Meelup Beach stretched out below her. Pristine white sand covered the bay, bordered on either side by orange rocks and green shrubbery. And the water. Jesus Christ, the water though. Completely flat, the water surface was glossy and smooth, the colour of which she’d only seen on TV for places like the Maldives. Starting in aqua before fading to darker turquoise, finishing with a stripe of dark blue against the horizon, she felt like she was looking at a painting in a rich person’s holiday home rather than a real place.

She looked happily at the beachgoers, toddlers splashing in the shallows and kids with their plastic shovels, parents gently corralling them from going too deep and replacing discarded hats. To her left a group of teenagers were playing volleyball, expletives, shouts and laughter echoing as sand went flying around them. And to her right a family seemed to be playing…was that cricket? She bit back a smile. Every corner of this perfect place exuded joy and play and relaxation, from the stand-up paddle-boarders a few metres out to the preteens carrying fishing-rods up the path to the rocks. A group of girls squealed as they entered the water, kids climbed each other's shoulders for chicken fights and to find leverage before jumping in. This was exactly what she had needed, she thought with satisfaction, and she hadn’t even realised it.

She stood, breathing in the salty air for a few more minutes, letting the warmth settle in her veins. It smelt like the ocean, but not fishy, and there was the scent of peppermint in the air too, coming from the trees that surrounded the car park, their weeping branches dotted with tiny white blossoms. Everything felt fresh and clean and warm, like a towel out of the dryer. Content that she’d thoroughly made herself present (like she’d promised her therapist), she stepped onto the sand and gasped at the heat of it as it slid around her sandals. It was going to be much easier to be present here than in London, she realised as she quickly stepped over to a patch of clear sand, every second was a barrage on the senses.

She laid out her towel and settled down, immediately feeling the heat beating down now she was out of the shade. This sun was…intense. She felt like she was sitting under a radiator. She was immediately thankful she’d applied sunscreen before leaving this morning, but noted she’d probably have to reapply every half an hour just to try and stay ahead of the sunburn. And it was only ten in the morning, for heaven’s sake. Just because this had been a spontaneous trip, didn’t mean she hadn’t researched it within an inch of its life in the 24 hours before her flight. And for a red-head like her? Sun safety would be paramount if she didn’t want to turn to ash.

She lay back, attempting to relax, before realising a swim would be necessary if she wished to not feel like she was lying on the sun.

A few seconds later she sat up again, way too hot to even think about relaxing. She fingered the edge of her kaftan, knowing she’d have to shed it if she was going to extinguish the fire on her skin.

She told herself she was being ridiculous. And then immediately backtracked. She was not being ridiculous. Her stupid ex-boyfriend was the ridiculous one. All that work on accepting and loving herself, including her body, all flushed down the drain by a guy who looked so unremarkable and blonde he was practically transparent. She’d wised up pretty quickly, the third comment on her body confirming that he was indeed not joking, and indeed was a douchebag, but it had been enough to put that pit back in her stomach.

This is why you’re here, she reminded herself. She mentally went over the list of reasons again in her mind, hoping it would give her courage.

Reason why she was in Australia number 1:

She needed a fucking break. She’d been working like a dog for Whilstledown, the magazine she wrote for, only to be passed over for a promotion by fucking Cressida of all people, a girl with half her talent but twice the connections. She smiled smugly at the thought of her editor trying to reach her on her time off (like she always did) but not being able to reach her.

Reason number two:

It was an entire hemisphere away from Alfred Debling. She’d seen the man for six months, even thought they could have had a future, back when his intelligence and kindness seemed to be his prominent qualities. Then time wore on, and even without the gradual appearance of his…personality (or lack thereof), she was beginning to grow tired of him. Tired of vegan restaurants and nature documentaries and weekends spent composting. Look, she was a fan of the planet as much as the next person, but she was also a fan of enjoying her one short life before she died, a point she didn’t think she needed to explain as many times as she found herself doing. By the time he had tossed the offhand comment about whether she had the “body-type” for the dress she had been wearing, she already kind of hated him. She’d simply told him to get out of her apartment, his protests falling on deaf ears as she slammed the door behind him and cursed herself for wasting her own time.

Reason number three:

She’d always wanted to go to Australia. She’d even suggested it to Alfred, who had snorted and told her that his next trip would be to Antarctica, but she was welcome to join him if she wanted. She wasn’t sure how she hadn’t broken up with him over that alone. When her friend Edwina said her sister had a unit in Dunsborough after she’d spent an hour or more complaining that she just needed to “get the hell out of Dodge”, it had felt like fate (even if she had needed to immediately google where Dunsborough actually was).

Reason number four:

She wanted to put herself first, for once. It was a cliche, but still so true. No Christmas getting punched down by her mother and sisters. No trudging through snow into the office to meet deadlines that were completely arbitrary and not at all as life and death as her boss made them out to be. No fielding calls from desperate wankers who realised they were alone for Christmas and maybe they couldn’t do better than Penelope after all. She thought it was for the best that she'd left the country, because except for a very small number of notable exceptions, she was genuinely starting to hate everyone she knew.

Happily reminded of who the fuck she was, she removed her kaftan, taking a moment to enjoy the view of her ample cleavage spilling out of her emerald green swimsuit. Debling was fucking certifiable, she decided, getting to her feet and making her way to the water.

As the water met her toes, she felt a delightful shiver run through her. It was cool enough to give her goosebumps, but also a delicious contrast to the heat radiating off her skin. She waded in slowly, each centimetre of water rising over her skin sending electricity through her body. Why was it so good? She wondered. And why did people live anywhere else?

Beneath and around her the water was crystal clear, she could make out shells on the seafloor and the gentle waves made in the sand. She let her hands trail through the water, savouring the way it glided around her fingers effortlessly. She gasped when she saw silver glimmers of fish ahead of her.

Around her she heard the chatters of people, the earthy twang of Australian twangs rolling over the water, the mix of swearing and carefree banter delightful. People smiled at her as she made her way out, and she was mystified. Surely people can’t be that friendly? If you made eye contact with someone in London there was a fifty-fifty chance of getting stabbed.

Having made it out til the water was up to her sternum, she braced herself and dipped beneath the water’s surface. She felt her body come alight in the cold, and she surfaced gasping, feeling energised. She gave a few tentative strokes, allowing the water to buoy her as she felt a delicious stretch in her leg and arms. She rolled so she was on her back, and playfully wiggled her toes just out of the water, feeling the urge to giggle with delight. She felt free.

She floated for a while, lazily treading water as she watched beachgoers on the sand and in the shallows, and she felt her shoulders relax, stress practically dissolving into the sea. She watched a small boy with a snorkel standing in the water, dipping his face at intervals, dispersed with shouts to his father that he’d seen a fish, or a shell, or a piece of seaweed. The game of cricket seemed to be continuing, and she watched in astonishment as the ball was hit into the sea, quickly followed by fielders (or oceaners?) splashing and yelling in their haste to retrieve it. On the shore a group of kids giggled with glee as they covered an adult in sand, who was also, she noted, giggling with glee.

Everywhere she looked beauty and joy radiated, she realised, it was like she was watching a montage contained in the last four minutes of a feelgood movie. She half expected a pop song to play overhead.

Having never enjoyed people-watching so much, she followed a glimpse of red and yellow that caught her eye, her jaw dropping with what she found.

As much as Edwina had urged her to add “find a smoking hot Australian” to her list of reasons for coming here, she had refused, arguing that caring about men was what got her into this miserable state. And to be fair, Ed had been right. Was there something in the water here? Every second person she saw looked like they’d stepped out of a photo sheet, bronze and toned and casually windswept. She’d seen more sixpacks since she got here than she’d seen in her entire life, she was pretty sure (also, they seemed to be very okay with partial nudity here, people wandering around in their swimsuits, without shirts or shoes, wet hair dipping onto any clothes they did happen to be wearing, even if they were nowhere near the beach). But she’d just shrugged it off, smiling back at the handsome surfers, completely convinced that none of these people/Greek gods would prove to be any less disappointing than the sad, pale ones she could find back home.

That had been until she saw him.

Glad her swimsuit was already wet, because her reaction to him had been immediate and ridiculous, she watched as the most sexy man she’d ever seen made his way along the shore. He was tall and big. Like, throw you around in bed big. She clenched her thighs. She didn’t even know that was something she wanted before now. Tousled, brown and curly hair fell across his forehead, and his musculature. Fucking hell. He looked like he had been carved. Pecs, abs, biceps. He had them all. He wore red shorts that she recognised as the uniform of the lifeguards here, and they hung low on his hips, the V making her mouth water. He was walking slowly, chatting to beachgoers, periodically scanning the sea and smiling while dodging kids that ran in front of him haphazardly. Oh so he was kind and friendly and hot? Why didn’t she just fucking drown right now?

Unable to take her eyes off him, she watched as a beach ball sailed past him, a dismayed cry of a toddler following as it landed on the water. He grinned, holding up a reassuring hand to the child before he followed it before it could be swept out further.

Oh good god, he was running.

From her spot, he was coming nearly directly towards her, the ball having landed a few metres ahead of her. She knew, logically, that he couldn’t be running in slow motion, could he?

He jogged into the water, splashes cascading around him and water droplets glistening on his ridiculously tanned body. He kept an easy smile on his face as he moved, running a hand through his hair as it fell in his face. He reached the ball when the water reached his waist, and for a second, one tiny second, his eyes met hers and she swore the world stopped spinning.

Jesus fuck.

He gave her a lopsided grin, palming the ball with one, extremely large palm (she was throbbing), before turning back, to shore, his back a masterpiece of muscles and tanned skin. She watched, stunned as he returned the ball to the now happy toddler.

Her mouth was very dry, and suddenly the water didn’t feel as cooling as it had before. She had never felt this way…well, ever, if she was being honest.

All sounds and thoughts faded as she watched him continue to make his way down the beach. Somewhere in her periphery she heard yelling, a warning of some kind, but she was too dazed to register what was happening.

Suddenly he turned to look at something and she followed his gaze in time to see a cricket ball flying directly at her head.

Chapter Text

“Heads up!”

Colin caught the incoming volleyball easily despite it clearly being aimed for the back of his head, glaring at his grinning younger brother while his idiot mates laughed around him. He contemplated booting it into the ocean before deciding it probably wouldn’t look great for a lifeguard to do that. Instead he lobbed it to the kids on the opposite side of the net.

“Your serve, boys!” He called, walking away and smirking as he heard arguments breaking out behind him, Gregory’s dismayed voice the loudest among them.

It was a busy day on the beach, as was expected during school holidays and so close to Christmas. Still, even a busy day at Meelup was generally quiet for his days as a lifeguard, apart from the odd tourist swimming out too deep or rare shark warning. The water was flat and the sands’ drop steady, there were no currents or rips, and even stingers weren’t as common here as at other nearby bays. Still, Colin took his job seriously and kept his eyes peeled out over the water as he patrolled the shore.

He weaved between kids crouching and digging holes, collecting shells and digging pippies out of the sand just to watch them burrow back in again. He exchanged amused looks with a mother whose son was currently making an excellent case for using his hat to collect seaweed, and carefully avoided the city of sand castles slowly springing up at the water’s edge.

He looked out to sea, avoiding eye contact as he passed a group of girls in their twenties, his ears turning pink as they giggled and threw flirtatious looks his way. Nearly thirty, he supposed he should be used to the attention from men and women, but he just wasn’t. It was flattering, but mostly it made him feel uncomfortable and shy. These people didn’t even know him. He had never been a casual, flirt-with-strangers kind of person, and the older he got the more he made his peace with it.

He made his way to the end of the bay, reaching the rocks and scanning the point to make sure there were no signs of any trouble among the snorkelers. It was a perfect morning for it, and he envied them, the water completely clear and unstirred so early in the day. He reminded himself that he would have nearly the whole week after this to dive until his heart’s content, and climbed onto a nearby rock, deciding he would observe from here for a while before he headed back.

On the far end of the beach he could make out Lachie, the other lifeguard on duty, offering a family sunscreen from the big pump-bottle they kept on hand. He made a mental note to check they had a backup, knowing how fast they typically went through it during the holiday season. Locals had a routine by now, but tourists often forgot to bring theirs, only remembering they needed it when they were already approaching tomato territory.

On the volleyball court he could see Gregory and his mates had been joined by some girls, and he shook his head with amusement, noticing that the boys' theatrics had increased by tenfold, sand-scattering dives and headlocks being divvied out far more than necessary.

In the water everyone looked okay, most people in the shallows and splashing around in groups. All small children appeared to be supervised and accounted for. A few free-swimmers were further out, but Colin wasn’t worried. Free-swimmers were usually the least likely to need his help, especially at a beach as calm as this one. There were also no idiots attempting to dive off the rocks, which made a nice change.

The beach itself was filling up now, and he reminded himself to keep an eye on the game of beach cricket, since they seemed to be using a six-stitcher rather than the more usual tennis ball. He grimaced at the thought of someone getting smacked with it, and wondered why on earth they’d brought a proper cricket ball to the beach. Other than that he wasn’t worried, everyone seemed to be having a safe and fun time, as far as he could tell.

He let his gaze flick back over the grassy hill behind the beach and under the trees. Oftentimes he didn’t even venture there during his shift, the picnic tables and BBQs not requiring attention, but there was the occasional snake or grill burn, so he checked all the same. No screaming or running, always a good sign.

He glimpsed a flash of white and orange at the crest of the hill and saw a woman standing alone, staring out at the water. He wasn’t sure why she caught his eyes, there were people literally everywhere, maybe it was the way her hair looked like flames in the sun, or how her skin was about ten shades lighter than anyone else here. She wore a blue cover-up thing, and she was so far away he couldn’t make out more detail than the general height (tiny) and hues of her, but he felt compelled to stare anyway. The way she stood there, quietly observing, it was nice. Calming.

He shook his head, laughing at himself. He was being ridiculous. She was effectively a series of shapes on the hill and he was projecting an entire personality onto her. This was exactly why he couldn’t be casual.

He gulped as she moved, stepping onto the sand and hopping at the heat. She definitely wasn’t from here, he thought to himself, amused, and then as she arranged her towel he made himself get down from his rock, feeling like a creep.

He was supposed to be watching everyone on the beach, not just her, he reminded himself guiltily. He should go back to patrolling the shore, and it was just a happy coincidence that his route would bring him closer to her.

He made his way back onto the sand, checking the sea, the sand, the sea, the sand. Her.

No, not her, he reprimanded himself. Look at the sea. The sand. There she is again. Holy fuck she’d taking off her dress.

He gulped, unable to take his eyes off the woman as she shed her outer layer, underneath a green two piece being revealed.

“Fuck me,” He muttered. She was fucking stunning. Her breasts honest-to-goodness wobbled as she moved, barely fitting into the top she wore. A strip of pale skin peeked out between her top and bottoms, soft and luxurious. Her legs, from what he could see, were curvy and smooth, and he wanted to feel them wrapped around him.

Jesus fucking christ, Colin. What the hell had gotten into him? He never did this. Never. He prided himself on it, actually.

So surely this one time can’t hurt a devious voice whispered in his head.

He was closer now, somehow having not tripped over rocks or holes or babies as he’d made his way down the beach, eyes fixed on her. He could see her face now, and she was fucking beautiful.

Her red hair cascaded down her shoulders in messy curls, and she had a cute button nose he wanted to nibble on. Her eyes looked like they might be blue, and her lips. He was sure he would be considered a pervert just based on the way this stranger’s lips made him feel alone.

She was moving towards the water now, walking about twenty or so metres ahead of him, and he had to stop himself from running so their paths would collide. She moved slowly, carefully, yet seemed sure of herself, and every movement rippled through her flesh in a way that made him wonder what would happen if he sunk his fingers there.

Okay so this had to stop, he was at a public beach and there were children around, for christ’s sake. He veered slightly to the left, hoping the cold water on his feet might quell the heat building in him. It kind of worked. But then she shivered as she entered the water, the movement on her skin visible even from here, and he was back to square one.

He made himself keep walking, tearing his eyes from her in what felt like a betrayal to his body on every level.

But he had to, this was not who he was. He was not this guy. And he didn’t even know this woman. And he was sure she wouldn’t appreciate being ogled like this either. He imagined Eloise seeing him now and rolling her eyes for him being “just like the rest of them”.

He was mostly successful, able to look out and around him, unable to determine more than there not being any blood or thrashing in his eyeline, and hoping that would suffice. He had never failed at his role here so badly.

He made himself not notice when she dived under the water. Didn’t pay any attention when she emerged, glistening and sparkling like a goddamn mermaid. Couldn’t be less interested when she floated on her back, wiggling her toes so cutely he wanted to wade in, scoop her up and take her directly to his bed, or his car, or really just a towel somewhere would do.

He kept walking, ridiculously proud of himself for passing by her and not looking back. So he did have self-control. He was beginning to wonder…

“Colin!”

Lachlan’s voice tore through his thoughts, and he wondered how he had nearly walked right into him. He looked at him in a daze. Somehow he had reached the middle of the beach.

“You okay, mate?” Lach looked at him puzzled.

Colin ran his hand through his hair and nodded.

“Yeah, sorry, my mind was just…elsewhere”

Lach nodded, looking dubious, but didn’t press.

“Okay…well I was going to take the north end of the bay if you wanted to swap?”

“No!” Lachie looked startled. Colin felt himself blush. “I mean, that’s all good, I’m happy at this end…I don’t want you to have to deal with Greg” He explained, gesturing to the volleyball court and hoping he sounded convincing. Judging from his friend’s face, he didn’t.

“Okay…okay” Colin watched him turn, a smirk on his face, and walk back the way he came. He took a deep breath and did the same.

His eyes fell on her immediately, she was treading water by the looks of things, and looking around at the other people, eyes bright and curious.

He sighed. He loved her.

What the fuck.

Where did that come from??

He needed to get a grip, now. He was acting like a complete wombat. He tried to pretend she didn’t exist. Like she hadn’t, as far as he was concerned, half an hour ago. He walked slowly back, not letting himself stare this time, no matter how badly he wanted to.

He was grateful when an older couple stopped to chat, able to get through the banter on muscle memory alone.

“Any sharks today?” The man joked and he chuckled in response.

“Not yet, but it’s still early” He returned, happy to have a distraction.

“Ah yes, they like to sleep in on the holidays” His wife rolled her eyes at that, starting to pull him away. Colin grinned as he continued on, momentarily forgetting his dilemma from a few moments before.

He passed a kid of about three or four who was holding up a shell, a swirly one that his sisters used to call mermaid money, and he gave an exaggerated gasp.

“Wow, did you find that all by yourself?” The child giggled and nodded gleefully in response and he couldn’t help but smile.

He glanced out to sea again, purposefully avoiding one particular spot, glad to see that no one was openly drowning.

He was about to continue on when he heard a shriek and saw a pink inflatable ball fly past him, the toddler from a few moments before standing there, lip beginning to wobble as the ball landed well past where the little boy could safely swim.

Not stopping to think (time was crucial when it came to inflatables at the beach he had learnt), he quickly gestured to the kid he would get it for him and ran into the water after it.

It was only as he was running that he realised.

It had also landed just in front of her.

Time seemed to slow, and he was suddenly very aware, without even looking at her, that her gaze was on him. He couldn’t help but grin at that, knowing that his dramatic retrieval mission of a ball probably looked ridiculous. Still, he was pleased to have her attention. Another new reaction for him. He had no time to wonder what had happened to the Colin Bridgerton who had existed for the past thirty years, just hoping that he looked cool or hot or at the very least not like an idiot. He even threw a cursory hand through his hair for good measure (he should be embarrassed).

He reached the ball with ease and grabbed it one hand (that was impressive, right?), and allowed himself the indulgence of meeting her gaze. Her eyes were ice blue, a look of gorgeous befuddlement on her face, and he couldn’t help but smile at her, suddenly incredibly and stupidly and bafflingly happy to share this moment with this girl he did not know.

Not sure he wouldn’t be tempted to forgo the ball and simply retrieve her instead, he quickly turned, heart pounding as he bounded back to shore, adrenaline pumping through his veins. In a daze he handed the ball back to his little buddy, telling himself to move away from what was clearly becoming a problem area for him.

As he turned back to his path he heard a shout and quickly spotted a streak of red sailing across the air. He watched in horror as it arced over the shallows, directly towards her. The cricket family shouted a warning, their voices melding into one startled shout, but she wasn’t paying attention, she was looking in his direction. He could only stand, frozen as it smacked her on the head, the force of it snapping her head back and she disappeared under the water.

Cold fear ran through Colin’s body, even as he bolted back into the water. He had gone through this (well not exactly this, but similar) a hundred times, but he’d never felt like this before. One of the things they hammered into you at the Surf Life Saving Club was the importance of staying calm, conserving energy, and thinking clearly.

Well all of that was out the fucking window as he splashed through the water, not able to move his legs fast enough. Christ, he hadn’t even grabbed his board. He doubted he would need it, but still. There were protocols to this sort of thing.

He reached her in no time, thankful to see her head was above water and her eyes were open, even if she did look dazed. Without thinking about it he swept her into his arms, one coming up under her legs and the other cradling her under her arms. She fit into his chest perfectly, and he studied her carefully for any signs of bleeding as he headed back to shore. Thankfully she seemed to be in one piece, a small red bump appearing on her eyebrow telling him where the impact had landed. She looked back up at him, confused, and he couldn’t help but smile gently down at her, hoping he could reassure her.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you” He murmured, completely captivated by yet concerned for the woman in his arms. Did she need CPR? No, no, that was too much. She was conscious.

He watched as her eyes, still fluttering and blinking water from them, met his, and she smiled at him shyly, before she closed them then rested her head on his chest.

Colin felt his heart seize in his chest, suddenly concerned that he would be the one who would need reviving.

Chapter Text

Oh, Penelope thought dreamily, heaven is real. That’s nice.

She stared up at the handsome…angel (?) carrying her and sighed happily. She hadn’t expected the afterlife service to be so hot, but hey, she wasn’t complaining. She also hadn’t expected for it to be so hands-on? She felt the warmth of the sexy angel’s chest against her face intensely, and she could hear his heart thudding as well. That was a nice touch. He was very tan. I guess heaven would be close to the sun, she reasoned.

She could hear noises, voices and splashes but they were far away. She also felt a dull thudding pain on her temple. That was annoying, why would she be feeling pain? They’d clearly tried to make heaven more realistic, the idiots. Nobody wants that.

Come to think of it, her eyes were stinging too. She also felt each bump of the sexy angel’s step. Why wasn’t he flying? What’s with all this jostling around? Her name wasn’t Jocelyn. She chuckled to herself in her mind. That was going to kill at the next pearly tailgate party.

The sexy angel is speaking, but she doesn’t know what he is saying. So she just stares at his pretty face instead. He looks worried. Maybe there was trouble in paradise. She grinned to herself. Was she this funny before she died? She couldn’t remember.

Suddenly very tired, she closed her eyes once more, leaning her face against her sexy angel.

She frowned as the sounds turned into words, invading her peaceful rest. Every time her angel spoke it rumbled in his chest by her ear delightfully. But the other voices were annoying. She wanted them to go away.

“She okay, do ya think?”

“She’s conscious, we’ll have to do a concussion test though”

“Yeah, course. Best put her in the shade til she’s a bit steadier”

“Will do”

“Do you know if she was with anyone?”

“I don’t think so, hopefully she’ll be able to tell us herself…I’ll stay with her until we know for sure”

So rude, couldn’t they see she was trying to sleep? Yap, yap, yap. Bumpy bumpy bump. Heaven was subpar so far.

Suddenly it was darker, cooler, and her angel’s chest was gone from her cheek and she was being settled on a seat of some kind.

Nooooooo.

She groaned, opening her eyes to curse whoever was responsible for this nonsense.

Sexy angel hadn’t gone far, in fact he was squatting (mmm) in front of her, looking at her face. He had a very nice face. It was familiar. Did she know him pre-death?

Her vision cleared somewhat and she could see he had dark blue eyes, a slight scruff and delightfully messy curls. He still looked worried, and she realised he was wet. Actually, she was too, she realised, looking down at the droplets on her skin and the dark dampness of her bathing suit.

Her bathing suit. Huh.

Oh.

Ohhhhh.

Suddenly she remembered beyond the last five minutes. The beach. The sun. The sand. The swimming. The fuck-you holiday. The sexy lifeguard who was now looking at her. It all came rushing back. Including the fact that she was here because she’d been too busy ogling said lifeguard to notice the projectile that had nearly drowned her. Great. She felt herself blush.

The lifeguard was speaking, she realised.

“My name is Colin, do you know where you are?”

She blinked at him. His voice was deep, accent broad. His eyes crinkled a little. She liked it a lot.

She coughed slightly as she tried to get her voice to work.

“Um…yes? I think so? Australia?”

She jumped when Colin laughed, not expecting the reaction after his serious expression. She felt pleased, though. He looked so good when he laughed. Head thrown back, eyes even crinklier.

“Well that’s a good start,” he chuckled, “could you be a bit more specific?”

Oh. Duh. She grinned back, embarrassed.

“I think it’s called Meelup…? I’m not from here” She added quickly, apologetically.

Colin smiled and nodded.

“Very good. And yeah, I figured with the pommy accent” He winked. Penelope felt her heart stutter.

“Can you tell me your name?” He asked her.

“Penelope”

“Nice to meet you, Penelope” He looked at her like he genuinely meant it, too. Who the hell was this guy? “Are you here with anyone?”

She paused briefly, wondering if it was wise to tell a stranger she was here alone. But it took only a moment for her to push the thought away, internally cringing at how her horniness would likely get her kidnapped one day. Or today. Hopefully

“No, I’m here alone”

“Okay. And do you feel any nausea? Any fogginess or headache?”

She scanned her body briefly before shaking her head.

“No, I feel fine. Just hurts where I got hit” She lifted her hand to her head, wincing when she felt the bump there.

“Yeah it was a doozy, I’m sorry it happened. Those idiots shouldn’t be using a six-stitcher at the beach…” He looked annoyed this time, and she felt the urge to make him smile again.

“Well I don’t know what that means, but I’m sure the idiots didn’t mean to do what you just said…?” She felt herself preen when Colin’s face broke into a grin again.

“Yeah, you’re right. When you were still dazed they were apologising like nobody’s business”

She watched him talk, enchanted. He was so…warm. Kind. Or he seemed kind. She had no evidence (other than saving her life), but she felt safe with him. Weirdly so, actually.

“So what happens now?” She asked, dying to stay within his splendid attention, yet feeling as though her bumped head was hardly a good use of his time.

“Well, I don’t think you have a concussion. But you shouldn’t be driving, just in case. You’d probably best be with someone for the next few hours in case any symptoms do develop. Do you have someone who can pick you up?”

Penelope shook her head slowly. Not a single person, she realised. Colin looked worried again, and a little confused.

“I’m on holiday,” she explained, “I’m borrowing the house from my friend in England, and I don’t know anyone here,”

Colin nodded, looking thoughtful. Then he brightened.

“Wait here,” He said, and she nodded dumbly. Where else would she go?

She watched Colin jog back over the sand to where a group of three girls lay in the sun. She watched Colin say something to them, gesturing to where she sat on a picnic bench under the trees, feeling self-conscious as the girls looked over at her. She could tell, even from a distance, they were all stunning. Suddenly one of them was getting up and walking back over the sand, following Colin as he returned.

Colin was grinning when he reached her, looking pleased with himself, which was, quite frankly, adorable. The girl he was with had brown, curly hair that spilled over her shoulders, and looked quite similar to Colin she realised. She had tattoos up both arms- mostly animals, it looked like, and a pierced eyebrow. She looked cool as hell.

“Penelope, this is Eloise, my sister,”

Penelope smiled shyly at the woman, who grinned back.

“Heard you copped a stray,” Eloise scrunched her nose up sympathetically, and nodded towards Colin, “you know it’s a bad day when this idiot is your only hope”

Penelope snorted, immediately liking the brunette with the sharp tongue. Colin was glaring at his sister.

“Anyway, I asked El if she’d mind hanging with you for a couple of hours, just til you’re out of the woods”

Penelope felt slightly panicked at the thought of someone being forced to spend time with her. She couldn’t think of anything worse, actually.

“Oh that’s okay,” she rushed out, “It’s fine, really. I can go to a cafe or something and then if I pass out then they can call a doctor or something”

Eloise and Colin exchanged glances, looking amused. Eloise spoke first.

“Well, you could do that. Or you could just hang with us for a little while, which is way easier and less ridiculous,” Penelope blushed again, embarrassed yet comforted.

“They’re not so bad, really,” Colin’s stupidly attractive eyes twinkled.

She looked between the two of them.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” she asked Eloise, who was already rolling her eyes again.

“I know you don’t know me yet, but trust me, if I minded I wouldn’t be offering”

Penelope laughed, feeling better immediately. She didn’t seem like the type to do anything she didn’t want to, it was true. Colin smiled, looking relieved.

“Okay great, now that’s sorted, I have to head back to my shift. I’ll come check on you in a couple of hours”

Eloise shot Colin a look that she couldn’t decipher, but she nodded, relieved that this wasn’t the last she was seeing of Colin, at least for now. She tried not to feel too devastated as he headed back towards the beach, and was immediately unsuccessful.

“Alright, where’s your stuff? I’ll go grab it for you. You can stay here, my sister and her girlfriend will be heading over soon, we were about to grab a bench for lunch anyway”

Another sister? How big was this family?

“Um, just the green striped bag over there,” She pointed to where her towel and bag lay abandoned on the sand. Eloise nodded and grinned.

“Cool, I’ll be right back! We’re going to have fun together, Penelope. I can feel it!”

Penelope couldn’t help but laugh as the slender girl strode over the sand like a woman on a mission. She still felt a little like an interloper but she immediately felt a sense of ease around Eloise just as she had with Colin. She had either stumbled on some kind of magical family or she was about to join a cult. Maybe both.

She looked back to where Eloise had been laying and saw that the two women she had been with were now making their way towards her, carrying bags and a cooler between them. She felt her chest tighten a little. What if these girls weren’t as friendly? There had to be one mean one in the family, right?

The women were as stunning as every other person on this godforsaken beach (seriously, was there something in the water?). The girl on the left had a dark complexion, positively glowing in the sunlight, with big eyes and frizzy hair that framed her face like a mane. Beside her, the other woman had straight light brown hair, also cartoonishly huge eyes and a heart-shaped face. Penelope wondered if she’d accidentally stepped onto the set of a soap opera.

As they approached, she was relieved to see both women smile at her, as though they already knew her. Was everyone here hot and kind? It seemed like it.

“Penelope, hi, I’m Francesca but you can call me Fran,” Fran smiled gently, only speaking once she was standing in front of her, her tone of voice soft and calming.

“I’m Michaela, Fran’s girlfriend. Fran is El and Colin’s sister. Heard you been in the wars” She grinned cheekily, and Penelope felt once again immediately at home.

“Are you hungry, Penelope?” Fran looked at her with concern.

“A little,” Penelope confessed, unable to lie to the angelic face in front of her.

“Excellent, we have heaps of food,” Michaela lifted a cooler to the top of the table with a thud. “We also told Colin you’d be eating some of his share. The surprising thing is, he actually agreed”

Fran nodded, eyes wide.

“Colin does not share food,” she said, so solemnly that Penelope had to hold back her laughter.

“Well that’s very kind, but I don’t want to eat his lunch. Especially since, I, you know, owe him my life and all that,”

Michaela laughed and waved her hand dismissively.

“Oh please, he’ll be fine. In fact, he’ll probably extra pleased that he could be so chivalrous twice in one day”

Penelope had to laugh then, captivated by each woman’s unique manner and how they seemed to be polar opposites.

“I’m back!” Eloise declared, dropping Penelope’s bag by the table triumphantly.

“Thank you so much,” Penelope smiled at her, hoping her tone conveyed her gratitude, “and for taking me in. I didn’t plan to need supervision today,”

“No problem, the more the merrier!” Michaela crowed, pulling various trays out of the cooler.

“Please remember to keep your murder sausages away from my morally superior sausages” Eloise said, wrinkling her nose and watching Michaela. Michaela rolled her eyes, taking a stack of trays and a bundle of utensils and heading for a nearby metal-looking structure.

“Not a fan of vegan sausages, Penelope?”

Fran was looking at her, smiling knowingly, and Penelope realised she’d had her brow furrowed without realising it. It was clear that Fran was an observer, and she’d have to watch her expressions around her. It was funny, normally she was the one noticing people. She chuckled, slightly embarrassed.

“No, I’ve nothing against them. I just broke up with a vegan, though, so they’re a bit triggering I must admit,”

Fran and Eloise both laughed.

“Unfortunately vegans are notoriously hard to date,” Eloise conceded, “myself excluded, of course,” she added, dropping a wink at Penelope, making her blush again. This fucking family.

Fran rolled her eyes, shaking her head, and started pulling out various foods from the cooler. She looked over to where Michaela was, smoke and sizzling coming from where she was standing. She stared, shocked.

“Is she cooking over there?”

Eloise looked back at her, confused at her confusion.

“Yes?”

“You can cook at the beach here?”

“Yeah… it’s a barbeque…?”

“And that’s just here all the time?”

“Yeah, there’s a few of them actually”

“You can hire barbecues here?”

“No, they are free”

“But who looks after them?”

“We do, I guess…? They’re public”

“But who cleans them?”

“We do, when we’re finished using them”

“So the beach is free, and the picnic benches are free, and the toilets are free, and the parking is free, and the barbecues are free? And you can use them? Like they work? And people look after them?” Penelope had never heard of such a thing.

Eloise and Fran looked at her, amused, nodding.

Okay so she’d established that she hadn’t died, but what earthly place had she stumbled onto where everyone was nice and hot and everything was beautiful and well-looked after? And why wasn’t it overrun with people? Something wasn’t adding up.

The smell from the barbecue was mouthwatering, and she helped Fran uncover containers of salad and various sides. Eloise was buttering a pile of rolls, and a selection of condiments stood waiting at one end of the table. The rest of the cooler (or esky, as the girls called it), was full of beer.

Over a simple yet delicious lunch (adorably called a sausage sizzle), Penelope listened and chatted with her new friends/caretakers.

Eloise was 27, and worked as a freelance journalist. She was a staunch feminist, environmentalist, activists- a lot of the ists- actually. Penelope watched with amusement and admiration, entertained and inspired by her fiery spirit, the way she launched from one topic to another, the stories and the way she didn’t just not shy away from debates, she seemed to sniff them out before diving in headfirst. Normally travelling to write, she was back for the holidays along with the rest of her family. The Bridgertons, they were called. And there were eight of them. Not including parents and partners.

Francesca was a year younger than Eloise (or El, as she’d been sternly told to call her), and worked in a nearby town curating a gallery that sold local art. She’d met Michaela visiting the coffee shop that she owned on the same street, and they’d been together for two years now. Even in the brief period she’d witnessed it, she could see the deep love and devotion between the pair. The way Michaela hung on every quiet word of Francesca, while Fran’s eyes lit up at each animated gesture and cheeky joke from her girlfriend. It made her feel warm and gooey inside to witness. She wondered if Australia was somehow and ironically turning her soft.

She sat under the trees (peppi trees, they were called) for nearly two hours, sipping water and chatting to the girls as if they’d known each other for years. She had discovered she enjoyed many of the same authors as El, and they shared similarly pointed views about humanity in general, having many “exactlyyyyy” moments. Francesca’s quiet kindness felt comforting, and from the looks they exchanged while El and Mich debated something loudly she could immediately tell she had found a kindred spirit. And Michaela made her chortle with laughter, who in turn cackled to the odd barb Penelope let go every now and again.

She’d never been great at making friends, but somehow she’d made three today without even trying. Was it Australia? Was it them? Was it her, in Australia? She didn’t know, but she liked it.

Despite the scenery, the company and the general perfection of the summer day, Penelope couldn’t help but feel a little…off. She found herself glancing back at the beach, spotting Colin immediately, watching him for as long as she thought she could get away with. She tapped her foot impatiently, at once looking forward to him returning to her, and dreading the moment there would be no practical reason for him to have anything to do with her. It was madness, insanity, ridiculousness, because if she didn’t know better, if her brain didn’t tell her that it was impossible, she could have sworn she missed him already.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

Colin checked the grassy hill for the hundredth time in the last half hour- partly checking to see if his afternoon replacement had arrived and partly making sure Penelope was still there.

Penelope.

Unfortunately for Colin, Penelope had proven to be even more charming once she opened her pretty mouth. He’d never been one to zero in on a particular person, but it was as if the moment he saw her he had known he wanted to know her in all the ways it was possible to know someone.

And then he’d found out she was on holiday. Of course she was. If she was local he would have known her already. Probably married her already, judging by his reaction to her. It had taken him exactly ten seconds to go from devastation that she would be leaving his vicinity sometime soon, to introducing her to his sisters. So yeah, playing it cool was going well.

He would invite her for dinner, he decided. It was the polite thing to do. She was here alone, and his mum was always inviting people over for dinner. He was being a gentleman.

Finally he saw Sam pull in, lifting a hand in hello as he strolled over the grass. Colin waved back, immediately jogging toward the picnic bench where the girls sat, telling himself it was hunger that made him so eager.

He slowed as he reached the table, watching with a smile as Penelope chatted with his family like she’d known them for years. She looked up as he arrived, and the smile she gave him was breathtaking.

Genuinely, breathtaking. All words left Colin’s brain as he stared into her icy blue eyes, her red hair wavy and wild from the seawater.

“Colin?”

He realised one of the other people at the table was talking to him. He tore his eyes from Penelope and saw that Michaela had been trying to talk to him.

“Sorry, what did you say, Mich?”

She looked annoyingly amused as she repeated herself.

“I said that we’ve invited Penelope over for dinner.”

Colin felt his smile widen as he looked back at Penelope, who seemed to be blushing again. She did that a lot. He liked it a lot. It made the less inhibited parts of himself wonder all the ways he could make her blush, and all the places that blush might spread. Yikes, Colin.

“Great!”

She smiled, looking embarrassed.

“Invited is a stretch, they kind of wouldn’t take no for an answer,” she chuckled.

Colin reminded himself to be more considerate to his wonderful sisters more often in the future. His eyes fell on the bump on her head and he remembered why she was sitting here in the first place. He felt worry tinge his chest inexplicably. He’d seen so much worse, yet here he was, feeling panicked about a stranger’s little purple bruise.

“How’s your head?” he asked, studying her face for any signs of discomfort or illness. She looked surprised that he asked.

“Oh, fine actually. I’d forgotten about it to be honest,” she laughed.

Good, that was good. He studied her for a moment longer, wondering if there were any other symptoms he might have missed.

“Colin?”

For the second time in under five minutes, his attention was taken from Penelope’s face by someone requesting his attention. This time it was Fran, and she looked slightly concerned.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” she asked quizzically, and for good reason. Most days it was a miracle if he spoke to them before he got some food in his mouth. He nodded and reluctantly moved across to where a plate of sausages was covered by foil. He grabbed a plate and piled it with food while the girls settled back into their conversation, Penelope’s laugh making him smile as he fished a drink from the esky.

Colin drove back with the girls that afternoon, habitually quiet as he listened to his sisters and Penelope conversing in the back seat. One of eight, he was used to zoning out, fading to the background while they chattered around him. What was different this time, though, was that he was actually listening this time. The soft lilt of Penelope’s London accent cut through his thoughts, drawing his attention like a beacon. Through the winding roads that divided bushland and farms, vineyards and paddocks; he watched the scenery as her melodic voice floated around him. She had insisted one of the other girls take the front seat, since she was the shortest of all of them, and Colin had felt a little disappointment at not being able to talk to her as easily as he would have liked. Now though, sneaking peeks in the rearview mirror at her sparkly eyes and flushed face, he was glad for her decision.

Beside him, Fran sat contently watching the trees and cows pass, a small smile on her face that he was sure would match his own. Between El’s feisty challenges, Michaela’s returning taunts and the constant giggles and occasional sweet interjection of Penelope, these were the moments Colin found himself missing when he was away from home. The strange part was how familiar this scene seemed to be, despite the obvious new addition.

Colin felt, at last, relaxation begin to take hold of his body. He wiggled his fingers on the steering wheel, watching the sun make dappled patterns on the dashboard as he drove through gum tree tunnels. He’d been back for two weeks but had barely sat still a day since. Immediately signing back on with the surf club, volunteering to help his mother with errands, he’d even agreed to go to something with El (don’t ask him what it was though, he’d immediately forgotten), which even he could recognise was alarmingly out of character.

He’d always been a runner, the one that couldn’t sit still. The one bouncing his leg against the table until the teacher asked him to stop. The one whipping his phone out when he had to wait for any more than ten seconds at a time. He wanted to be on the go, always. Or at least, that’s what felt most comfortable for him, anyway. Or at least it had.

He’d been in South Africa, heading back to his room after a game drive when the exhaustion hit. He’d been tired before, but this? It was like his body was shutting down. He’d crawled under the covers in his hotel room and slept for twelve hours, completely missing the dawn game drive he’d meant to attend. When he’d woken he’d felt refreshed, but not really as enthused as he used to be, just kind of neutral about the whole thing. Which was crazy, because he was supposed to be seeing elephants and giraffes and lions for god’s sake. His child self would be horrified.

Attributing his lack of enthusiasm to burnout, he’d decided to head home early, to try to get some rest before he went back out on the road again. But then he’d immediately booked himself so thoroughly he may as well have taken a second job..

It frustrated himself, sometimes, how little he seemed to be in control of his own life. He worked the job of his dreams, it was true, and there wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t feel extremely grateful he was able to travel for a living; his only obligation sharing those travels with his followers. But it also felt like it was less of a career path and more of something that was happening to him; simply following his nose and impulses and invites from hotel companies. Even now, when he’d try to make an executive decision and rest, he’d immediately triple booked himself, as if trying to prove that no one could tell him what to do, not even himself.

He’d been tense since he got home, slightly irritable at his siblings (another red flag when normally he was the irritator), feeling lost and frustrated all at once. He loved his family, but there was no privacy in a group this big. You didn’t just get the concerned questions from your mother, you got them from your seven other siblings in their own unique way as well as some of their partners until you were so sick of telling them you were fine you were about to tattoo it on your forehead.

And it wasn’t as if he wasn’t fine. He was just…weird.

Up until now, the week before Christmas his mother had insisted he keep free for family, had sat like a brick in his stomach, feeling like everything he’d been avoiding thinking about and feeling was ready to pounce on him like a dropbear. But this afternoon, listening to his loud family didn’t feel so irritating. The prospect of another dinner where Anthony stared at him too intently only to look away when their eyes met didn't seem so daunting. The strange familiarity that came from having grown up here, having everyone he loved here, yet feeling like something wasn’t quite right, didn’t feel as though it was pressing down on him so hard, making it hard to breathe.

Maybe it was a good thing he had a whole week ahead of him, free. Maybe it had just taken a moment for his mind and body to catch up, to know it was time to relax.

For the first time since he’d come home, he let himself actually feel the warm looseness in his muscles that came from swimming, running and standing in the sun. He licked his lips and tasted salt, clean and sharp. He put down his window and felt the eucalyptus-scented air brush his curls across his forehead. On the radio, Amy Shark’s Adore was playing, and he leaned over to turn it up, ignoring Fran’s surprised look. For the first time in what felt like years, Colin exhaled, and felt like his lungs actually emptied. The smile that widened across his face had nothing to do with him, really. It just happened.

As he had suspected, his mother was thrilled to have another guest, always inviting friends, colleagues, neighbours…really anyone she spoke to over for dinner. She greeted Penelope warmly and he smiled at how she blushed even at that.

As they were led around the side of the house he watched for her reaction. Their property was amazing, there was no contesting it. Built on a hill, one side sloping down into the vineyard, the other looking out over the sea, Bridgerton House sat beautiful and magnificently. Their house was big, it had to fit a battalion after all, and built out of limestone and timber. Bougainvillea hung off the side, reds, oranges and purples spilling out of each crevice. Lawn wrapped around the house and spread down towards the dam at the foot of the hill, lined with bushland in shades of green, yellow and grey. The back of the house hosted a large undercovered area, tables and chairs scattered around pot plants and water features. He smiled looking over the property, as if he were seeing it for the first time as he considered how it must look to Penelope. He was lucky. So stupidly lucky.

Penelope’s eyes were huge as she scanned the surrounding area.

“You have a beautiful property, Mrs Bridgerton,” she sounded slightly awestruck. Violet laughed.

“Call me Violet, love,”

Colin couldn’t help the warmth in his chest he felt when Penelope looked so pleased with this response. He’d been lucky, since she’d been wrapped up in her kaftan and bumped her head, his unexpected bout of horniness had seemed to subside, thankfully, giving way to a sense of ease and happiness at her presence. Still strange, but more manageable at least. Unless she blushed again. Or laughed. Or breathed. But other than that, very manageable.

The house was quiet, normally filled with voices and running children lately, but his gaggle of nieces and nephews had been herded to Country Life Farm today, their parents committed to tiring them out as early as humanly possible. All that could be heard was the chorus of cicadas, their rhythmic clicking loud in the still afternoon heat.

“Come on, I’ll show you around and you can get cleaned up as well,” Eloise looped her arm through Penelope’s, clearly having decided they would be besties. Colin wondered if Penelope knew that, he thought wryly, and kicked himself that he hadn’t thought to show her around first. Confoundingly, he felt ten years old again, that feeling of urgent suffocation that something he coveted was going to be nabbed by one of his million siblings rising in his belly. He pushed the thought away, shaking his head at his insanity as he made his way inside for a shower of his own.

The temperature had dropped a little by the time he walked outside, the breeze cool on his damp hair. He scanned the outdoor area, eyes immediately settling on Penelope, leaning on the fence and looking out at the ocean, Eloise nowhere in sight. She had changed into a cotton dress in light blue that fell easily over her thighs, as if she’d walked directly out of his wildest fantasies, fantasies he hadn’t even realised he had before today.

He smiled and walked up behind her, only slightly enchanted by the way her red curls moved in the wind. Just slightly. Like how his house was only slightly a mansion and how he only slightly enjoyed pastries. The normal amount, really.

“You’ve been left alone already?” Pen whipped her head towards him as he spoke and leant against the fence beside her, flashing him a grin that he couldn’t help but return. ”I can’t believe Eloise has already failed the first rule of looking after someone with a possible concussion.”

Penelope laughed airily and Colin couldn’t take his eyes off her. Did she sparkle or was it a trick of the light?

“Look, I love your sister already, but I’m not sure she’s one to count on in life or death situations.” She smirked and Colin chuckled, amused and a little surprised at her soft jab at his sister.

“Well, you’re right about that. And let’s be real, she could never pull off the shorts.” He let himself sway into her, bumping his tan shoulder against her pale one as he raised an eyebrow at her, enjoying her responding flush immensely. Flirting came easily to him, and this was no different, but it felt different. Every little comment or gesture felt loaded, had him watching intently to see how it would fall with bated breath and beating heart. Nothing like the careless comments he normally threw around, not caring where they’d land because they always did so on their feet.

“Your mum asked her to help her with something,” Penelope eventually explained, looking back out to sea as if embarrassed by his attention. It took a lot for him to drag his gaze away from her face and do the same. “I think she forgot I got injured at all to be honest.”

“That’s probably exactly what happened, actually,” he found himself laughing again. It was easy to do with Penelope. He glanced back at her, the raised lump on her forehead slightly smaller now.

“How does it feel now?” he couldn’t help but ask.

She smiled before replying. “Fine, I promise. It only hurts when I poke it.”

“And no other symptoms…?” He knew he was being overly concerned but he didn’t seem to be able to help it. She didn’t answer verbally, simply smiled that golden smile and shook her head. Her eyes held amusement but softness, and he thought he’d like to watch emotions alchemise in her pupils for a long time.

He nodded back, her clear entertainment at his behaviour somehow charming instead of embarrassing. He willed himself to break the spell before he did something unhinged like kissing her or proposing.

Get a grip mate.

“Ready for a drink?” he heard himself say. Oh good, alcohol. That will help.

She looked at him oddly. “Can I? With my head, I mean?”

Colin nodded, casting his mind back over every first aid course he’d ever taken. “Yeah, you’ve passed all my tests. She’ll be right.”

Penelope looked confused, likely at the very Australian expression, before she laughed.

“Okay, well if you say that she is…right? It must be fine,” she said, tone teasing and a little uncertain as she attempted to use the colloquialism. She was so cute he was going to die.

He led her back towards the house, opening their outdoor fridge before turning back to her.

“What do you feel like? We have beer, cider, wine, mixers…”

Penelope looked thoughtful. “Um…wine? It’d be remiss of me to choose otherwise given where we are.”

Colin chuckled as grabbed a six-pack from the fridge and he nodded.

“Fair enough. I’d hate for you to have to have your tourist card revoked.” He grinned. “So what do you feel like? Red, white…rose? Dry, sweet? Fruity, woodsy?” He knew he sounded like a wanker but he couldn’t help it, the drawbacks of growing up on a winery he supposed.

Penelope looked justifiably confused. “Um…white…? And I don’t know, I guess I don’t like super sweet wine? Will that get my tourist card revoked?”

Colin grinned, reaching back in the fridge for a bottle. “Nah, you’re good for now. Lucky you got a friend on the inside though.”

Penelope looked at him, a small smile on her lips. “Who, El?”

He rolled his eyes, before reaching back into the fridge and grabbing another bottle.

“A riesling and a sav blanc, you can try both. Plus, maybe if you drink more wine you’ll be a bit nicer to the man that saved your life,” he said, doing his best to sound disapproving and failing miserably. She was just so charming, was the problem.

He grabbed a bag of ice from the freezer and emptying half into a nearby cooler. After shuffling the bottles into it, he nodded towards the bar near the bridge where wine glasses hung above.

“Grab a wine glass, Pen.”

The nickname slipped out so naturally he almost didn’t notice it, and for a moment he worried she didn’t like it, her eyes widening. But then she blushed (ugh) again and moved towards the bar. He watched her small figure reach up towards the glasses, her sundress shifting up slightly higher on her thighs. Colin swallowed and busied himself picking up the cooler, sticking a finger on an ice cube at the same time in an attempt to maintain some sanity.

He led the way out to the group of outdoor lounges that overlooked the view, the sun already softening the edges of shadows and turning the light yellow instead of white. Looking down towards the dam he grinned, placing the cooler by the table and gesturing for Pen to come and stand by him. Pen joined him on the rise, a look of curiosity on her face. He pointed down the slope.

“Oh my god!”

Pen’s voice came out loud and delighted, her face incredulous. She looked at him, then back down the slope, then back at Colin.

“This place is not real.”

Colin’s cheeks hurt from the smile on his face. Why did Penelope experiencing things for the first time feel like he was experiencing it for the first time? His laugh was like one he would emit as a child, a downright chortle.

“Nah, it’s real.” He watched her wide eyes turn back to the view, and he followed her gaze. Below, the lawn met another fence that divided it from longer grass, lit golden in the afternoon sun and swaying gently. It seemed to flow like water itself as it spilled around the dam, yellow against sky blue reflection. Beyond the dam, green and brown vine rows spread out and up the valley. But it was the longer grass that held Penelope’s attention, where kangaroos sat on their haunches, browsing and wiggling their ears. The sun in their tawny fur seemed to make them glow, and there were dozens of them. They moved leisurely, slowly meandering from one spot to the next, stopping every now and again to survey their surroundings. Joeys hopped around, tumbling from sight below the grass. The big boomer sat up, alert, always ready. Females twitched and scratched their faces with their paws, their bellies. Every now and again one or two would wish to cover more ground, and they’d break into a proper hop, bouncing across the distance effortlessly. It was incredible, really.

They were here every evening, but Colin felt like he hadn’t really noticed them until now. Noticed how sweet they were. How fascinating. How beautiful. A whole mob, existing just metres away from his family home. He briefly wondered what other miracles he’d become impervious to over time.

He glanced back at Penelope, and for a moment thought he may have seen a tear glistening in her eye. He felt compelled to hold her, he realised. How bizarre.

Clearing his throat he gestured to the glass in Penelope’s hand. She looked up, startled, before smiling softly and handing it to him. He poured her some riesling and grabbed himself a beer before handing her back her wine glass.

“Thank you,” she murmured, eyes still fixed on the roos.

He smiled and settled on the large outdoor lounge, cracking open his beer. The layout was designed exactly for this, facing the view and ridiculously comfortable. He thought about inviting her to sit, but decided not to interrupt her moment. Besides, this meant he could not only look out over the valley, but see her, backlit by the summer sun, hair positively alight, blue dress moving in the breeze in sync with the nearby trees and grass.

He noticed once more how relaxed he was. He was slightly electrified with the presence of this woman he’d somehow been lucky enough to stumble upon today, but it was a happy buzz, not the serrated vibration that seemed to grind his subconscious normally. He let his head fall back against the lounge.

Penelope slowly moved back towards the lounge, eyes fixed on the roos as if concerned they’d evaporate if she looked away. She eventually sat, not relaxing but staying perched on the edge of the chair to the right of Colin, attention never wavering. He watched her sip her wine finally. He watched her swallow. He watched her hum in approval.

“This is good.” She looked at him, surprised. He couldn’t help the huff of a laugh that escaped him.

He wanted to talk to her. To ask her about her life, her interests, her thoughts;everything, actually. But he couldn’t bring himself to interrupt the peaceful tableau of Penelope sipping riesling and watching kangaroos feed in the long grass. So he just sat, watching them too, periodically glancing over at her, a buzz warming him even though he’d barely had two sips of beer.

Colin watched the sun lower a little in the sky, an unusual sense of contentment allowing him to exist without searching for the next thing, for once. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this…still.

An indeterminate period of time later, he heard the crunch of tires on gravel, and then a babble of voices that grew temporarily louder before growing softer again as they moved into the house. It wouldn’t be long before the rest of the family joined them.

Sure enough siblings began drifting down to the entertainment area. El was first, slotting in next to Penelope and immediately peppering her with questions, apparently not sharing the same qualms as Colin. Penelope didn’t seem to mind though, eyes twinkling as she answered every question. Then came Fran, Mich and Hy, the twenty-year-old telling an animated story about her latest uni bash. Next was Ant, Ben and Kate, a handful of kids tumbling alongside, two-year-old Kiara snuggled in against Ant’s chest. Mum, Sophie and Daph and Simon came shortly after, carting bowls of snacks and more drinks. Sophie and Daph had made charcuterie boards, cured meats, fruit, cheese and crackers displayed aesthetically. More kids followed, little fingers dipping into the bowls of chips and swiping the occasional strawberry or olive. Gregory and Phil soon followed, Phil carrying a portable speaker and Greg talking his ear off about how the company he was working for was going carbon neutral or something. Finally Marcus appeared, looking tired but satisfied, placing a kiss on his mother’s mouth before settling into a chair of his own with a glass of red.

The kids made their way around the circle, chatting to their uncles and aunties, trading fistbumps and cuddles with Colin before running off to be feral on the grass. El introduced Penelope to every arrival as proudly as if she’d invented her herself. Colin watched in amusement as Penelope’s eyes darted from one Bridgerton to another, accosted by questions by Hy before being asked to guess how to spell little Skye’s name. Ben was telling her a joke at Ant’s expense and then El was demanding her undivided attention again. It was chaotic and ridiculous and she was taking it like a champ, laughing easily, eyes wild and amused at each new distraction.

The familiar sounds of their Aussie banger playlist flowed around them. Colin felt good, he felt calm. He felt…happy? Why was that a surprise? He frowned and sipped his beer again, hoping to chase away this particular line of questioning. He didn’t need to know.

He didn’t need to know why it was that after years of travelling, chasing some kind of peace, he seemed to find it here on a random summer afternoon, in his own backyard.

He wasn’t curious as to why he would feel that way when the only thing that had changed was a woman he had met less than twelve hours ago.

It was not important to acknowledge that even if this mystery woman was the reason for this sudden change of heart, that she was only here temporarily.

It didn’t bear thinking about. He tore his eyes away from Penelope and took another quick swig of his beer. He was good with temporary.

Chapter Text

There was a very real chance she’d somehow slipped into an alternate reality or perhaps a coma despite the rigorous health checks by Colin. Because, once again, Penelope was asking; was this place actually real?

Night had fallen slowly, and even as the sky turned inky above them, there was a line of yellow and orange on the horizon that still held slivers of the day gone by. The air was warm, warmer than evening had any right to be, and stars were appearing like tiny white diamonds, thousands of them glittering above her. And the smell. Like peppermint, salt and citronella; “to make the mozzies piss off” she had been informed, watching in amused fascination as El lit coils of incense on the table.

Chatter and laughter spilled over the sound of music, echoing through the valley. The music sounded like a mix of old and new, the telltale sounds of eighties synth merging into more modern bass. Penelope thought she recognised maybe one song in every seven, but she liked it all the same. The melodies and sounds washed over her, relaxing and lively all at once.

Festoon lights were strung over the outdoor area, casting warm yellow glows on the frankly unfairly attractive faces around her, and she was once again astonished at how comfortable she felt here, thousands of miles away from her home, with a group of people she hadn’t known this morning. More comfortable than she generally felt with most people she knew. How much sense did that make?

Penelope only had a moment to soak it in though, because while El refilled her glass she was once again drawn into what could only be characterised as a friendly group interrogation.

“So Penelope, where are you staying?”

Daphne asked her question while she scooped up hummus on a cracker, glancing between Penelope and her mission and smiling warmly.

“Um…in Dunsborough? I think it’s called Quindalup?”

“Oh nice! Quindalup is gorgeous, Kate’s family has a unit down that way.”

Kate, freakishly gorgeous and currently sipping her wine, nodded.

“Yeah, down on Dolphin Parade.”

Penelope cocked her head at the familiar street name.

“Oh, that’s where I am.”

“Oh cool! Mine’s the one with the surfboards on the lawn and the giant starfish on the front door.” Kate laughed, “The guests seem to like the decor so we just left it as is.”

Penelope blinked.

“That’s where I’m staying!”

“Oh, wait, are you that friend? She told me you were coming to stay here but didn’t tell me when.” She laughed and shook her head. “If I’d known I’d have made sure you were settling in okay. You know Eddy though,” Kate rolled her eyes affectionately, and Pen saw softness there. Ed missed her sister a lot, and it seemed like the feeling was mutual.

Penelope shook her head in disbelief, but was not overly shocked. Edwina was notoriously good at leaving out vital details from a conversation.

Kate’s eyes crinkled as she smiled warmly.

“Well since you’re a friend of the family, anyway, why don’t you just stay here?”

El, who had been in a heated debate with Hy, cut herself off mid sentence and waved her hands to grab their attention.

“Yes, yes, let's do that. Then we can show you around. Wait, why are you staying here? Doesn’t matter. You are.”

Kate laughed and explained, “She’s Edwina's friend, she’s staying in the unit right now.”

El eyes lit up.

“Whaaaat yes it’s fate. Stay with us.” She grabbed her hand and then turned back to the group. “Everyone shut up!!”

She clicked her hand in between where Benedict, Ant, Violet and Marcus were in a deep discussion to get their attention.

“Hello, hello, are you listening? Penelope is staying with us.”

She couldn’t help but glance at Colin, eager to see his reaction. The thought of spending more time with this family made her heart feel like bursting. But seeing Colin more? She might just melt straight off the outdoor furniture. Colin was watching her intently, smiling, and she wondered if he might even be a bit pleased by this development. She looked away before her blush threatened to turn her to ash.

Then Violet smiles at Penelope in a way that makes her feel like she just won a medal at the Olympics, and she’s barely doing any better. Maternal love, what a drug.

“Of course she can stay,” Violet raised her glass slightly in a little toast to the idea. “How long for, love?” she asked.

Pen opened her mouth to reply before El cut in.

“For as long as she wants!”

She said it like she was admonishing her frankly absurdly kind mother, then turned back to Penelope.

“For how long?”

Pen laughed, at once amused but overwhelmed by the chaos.

“‘I’m here until the 27th”

El turns back to Violet, clearly having taken on the role of spokeswoman.

“Until the 27th. We’ll take her to the airport.”

She said it firmly, as though it was already decided.

Pen put a hand on her overzealous new friend’s arm, attempting to slow down the freight train.

“No, you won't, that's ridiculous. It’s three hours away and I already have it organised.” She tries to insist, but El is already shaking her head.

“It’s fine, Colin can take you, he'll probably be flying out then anyway. He’s always on the way to the airport.”

“That’s really not necessary,” she rushes to assure, glancing back at Colin, and noticing the discomfort that crosses his face, likely at the idea of being trapped in a car with a stranger for hours on end. God, this family was lovely but truly not helping her not feel like a massive pain in the ass.

“It's really okay-” she begins to say again but Colin chimes in this time, cutting her off.

“It’s all good, Penelope. I can take you.” He smiled at her and all traces of anything other than easy relaxation had disappeared. Maybe she’d imagined it. She had only known him for less than a day, after all. What on earth would make her think she would know how he’s feeling?

The topic changed and she sat back, allowing the surrounding conversations to wash over her without needing to contribute. It was calming, and the wine was making her feel fuzzy and warm. Above her, even more stars had emerged. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this content.

She watched the family argue good-naturedly, the way they laughed and teased each other, cursing and endearments melding seamlessly in the air. She let her eyes wander back to Colin, time and time again. He was golden, actually. His skin seemed to glow in the warm lights, his muscles rippling underneath every time he moved. His eyes shone, dark but bright, and the low light made his angular facial structure even more dramatic. He looked like a fucking painting.

She watched the way he smiled, amused as he watched Ant and Ben loudly speak over one another, arguing about whether they would allow skips of songs on their playlist. She watched him lean over so he could hear something Daph said more clearly, before he laughed loudly and replied with something that made her clap her hand over her mouth to suppress her responding squeal. She watched children come over at intervals, seemingly drawn to him more than the other adults, showing him treasures consisting of leaves, bugs and toys, or to quiz him about something or other, while he regarded them with utmost seriousness and answered their questions with great concentration. She watched the way his throat bobbed when he took a swig of his beer. She watched the way his eyes found her every now and again, she assumed to check in, and it drove her crazy, actually. Why was him caring about her after such a short period of time so hot?

There was one fly in the ointment, though. She needed to pee. She stifled a groan. The downside of all this lovely wine.

Sighing heavily she rose, chuckling at the way El clutched her arm immediately.

“Where are you going?”

“Just to the bathroom”

El loosened her grip, apparently deciding to allow it.

“Do you remember where it is?”

Pen nodded, smiling. She loved this nutter already.

In the bathroom she took a moment to run her hands under the cool water, relishing the feeling against her warm skin. She looked at the person in the mirror, her hair frizzy and wild, face slightly pink, eyes extra blue in contrast. She even looked different. Relaxed, she realised.

As she inspected her redder than normal lips in the reflection, she allowed herself to consider the man that had brought all of this to be in privacy.

Colin.

He was…phenomenal. Without exaggerating, the hottest man she’d ever seen. But it was more than that. He was…kind. Friendly. Thoughtful. She thought of how he’d moved mountains of beach sand to make sure she didn’t end up in a foreign land with a head injury. The way he’d smiled at her, and been interested in the things she’d said. The way he seemed happy to sit back and observe, only speaking when he had things to say, not just to be heard. So refreshingly wonderful in contrast to the swathes of assholes and dickheads she was used to.

The way he made her feel ...

Maybe it was the wine but she was about two seconds away from climbing him like a tree in front of his entire family.

Her heart ratcheted up everytime he moved, her tummy fluttering when his deep voice resonated, like the vibration was being felt in her soul itself. And when he looked at her? Fuck. She didn’t think she’d ever been this turned on, and she’d literally done nothing but talk to him. He’d achieved more through just existing than the man she’d been in an intimate relationship with. She didn’t try to stop the scoff that escaped her at the thought.

She watched herself chew her lip in the mirror.

She had to get it together.

Her reflection cocked her head.

Did she though?

She was on holiday. She didn’t know him, but she knew he was hot, and nice. If she was looking for a fling, those were pretty much the only requirements she was looking for.

She smirked at the way her eyes lit up in the mirror at the idea.

Could she even have a fling? She hadn’t before. But she was very good at detaching, in fact she’d managed to do that even in her long-term relationships. So it shouldn’t be a problem, right?

Plus there was the other argument for doing it that she had not taken into account.

She really, really wanted to. Fucking hell. She didn’t think she’d ever wanted anything more.

His large hands on her. His gold against her ivory. His firm against her soft. His rough against her smooth. It made her squirm just thinking about it.

Her heart had notched up to about 200 beats a minute at just the thought alone. She told herself to calm down. She had to be very cool about this if she was going to do this. She would be.

She was Holiday Penelope now. And Holiday Penelope was strong and confident and asked for what she wanted.

Holiday Penelope, she liked that.

Or Pen, as Colin had called her. She liked that. She liked it a lot.

And if he didn’t like her?

Well, it was a real possibility. He’d shown no signs of even noticing her beyond her being someone he felt partially responsible for after scooping her out of the ocean.

But putting herself out there would be good for her. And well worth the risk. It might be awkward, but then she had like a hundred other siblings to spend time with and then she’d never see him again.

Bing bang boom. Easy peasy.

She straightened in the mirror, unable to hide the flirtatious smirk that had taken over her face. She’s pretty sure she loves the person in front of her.

She made her way back across the lawn, slowly ambling and enjoying the scene in front of her. She realised that her plan might be harder to execute than she initially thought - how on earth was she going to get this man alone?

Arriving back at the group, she noticed that a few people had split off into groups. Greg and Simon were kicking a ball back and forth with a few of the kids, and Kate and Daph were sitting cross-legged on the lawn a few metres from the table, chatting and passing a bottle between them. She also noticed with disappointment that Colin seemed to have disappeared.

El noticed her and exclaimed, effectively cutting off what Ant was saying. To his credit, he looked like he was used to it, and simply sat back resignedly and waited for her to finish.

“You’re back!” She barrelled on without taking so much as a breath. “My dumb brother was looking for you. He said he wanted to show you something but you don’t have to humour him, he just wants to play tour guide and will probably mansplain nocturnal animals or something.” She rolled her eyes.

Penelope jumped when a voice piped up next to her, and realised Colin had materialised at her shoulder.

“Woah, woah, woah. I would never. I would start with something simpler, like what a marsupial is.”

He grinned, clearly pleased with himself. He was being so lame, and so dumb, why did she like it so much?

El narrowed her eyes.

“Whatever, just bring her back soon.”

Pen bit back a smile, delighted to see that the immediate feeling of connection to El seemed to be mutual. But also, Colin had been looking for her? God.

She turned her head and looked up at him.

“You want to show me something?”

Colin grinned, lifting a torch in one hand.

“I do, are you game?”

“I mean, you’re a stranger and you want to show me something undetermined in the dark in the middle of nowhere. So, yes. Obviously.”

Colin laughed, that proper laugh that made it easy to imagine what he had been like as a kid, and she felt warm honey down her insides. He winked and she willed herself not to lose consciousness.

“That's the spirit. Come on.”

She would literally follow him into an incinerator. It was bad.

They began walking down the valley towards the vineyards, the chatter of the party fading slowly as they moved further away, the bass gently underlining muffled voices.

Penelope watched her step carefully, keeping her eyes trained on where the torchlight fell in front of them. It was quiet at first, but she didn’t feel the need to fill it as much as she usually did.

“So, how are you finding Australia so far?” Colin’s voice cut through the relative quiet easily, and she loved the sound of it. Concerningly so, if she was being honest.

“I mean, it’s only been like 48 hours, and I did get hit in the head by a cricket ball. But you know, apart from that it’s great.”

She grinned at him, taking a quick glance as she did, and it sent a thrill through her to see he was already looking at her.

“Is everyone here as nice as you and your family?” She looks at him curiously, voicing the question that had been rattling around her head all day. Was it an Australian thing? Or a Bridgerton thing? Or a growing up in a family where people cared about you and also got enough vitamin D thing?

He grins lazily, and she quickly glances back down at the ground in front of her so she doesn’t fall over or, you know, melt.

“Ah I don't know about that. We like to think we’re pretty friendly, but we’ve got our assholes, just like everywhere…” She sees him shrug in her periphery.

Pen hummed as she picked her way over the soft ground, the vines on either side swaying slightly in the breeze.

“Hmm, I don’t know. It definitely feels like there’s a higher ratio of assholes in London.”

“Is that where you live?” he asks casually.

She nearly laughs in surprise. She keeps forgetting that they only met today. Of course he doesn’t know where she lives.

“Yeah.”

“Oh cool, I’ve been there a few times, I love it. Although, yes, I will admit the average grumpiness does seem to be higher over there.” He laughs and she snorts at the understatement. Even when he’s not being nice he was nice.

“You’ve been to London?” Was that normal for an Australian? She didn’t know. Maybe ones that owned wineries.

“Yeah, I travel for work.” Of course he did. Of course he was hot and kind and well-travelled.

“Oh really? What do you do?”

“I write, actually. I do articles and blog posts for hotels and travel companies” …and is a writer. Fucking hell, she should just strip right now.

“Are you kidding? That's your real job?” She probably should have kept the incredulity from her voice, and tried to hang onto a shred of dignity. But it was too late for that, apparently. She stared at him, forgetting all about looking where she was going.

Instead of sounding smug, however, he sounded embarrassed.

“Yeah. Pretty lame, right?”

“We have very different ideas of what lame is,” she jokes, trying to ease the new twist of tension in his voice despite finding herself wanting to know more.

He laughs, but it's not as free as his previous ones.

“It just feels a bit shallow, you know? Like I love the places I go, I do…” He shakes his head, his smile still there but his tone shifted to something quieter, more thoughtful. “And I’m so privileged. Like I know I could be grateful every day for the rest of my life and still not fully grasp how fucking privileged I am. But that’s part of the problem, I guess.”

She looks at him more fully, noticing how his mouth has pulled down a little at the corner, his expression partially obscured by the darkness. She wasn’t expecting this vulnerability, this depth. It made him even more compelling. Which she didn’t think was possible.

“What do you mean?” She says it quietly, afraid he’ll realise he's talking to a practical stranger and clam up before she can explore more of this softness. He glances at her, and instead of looking irritated at her for pressing, he looks almost relieved. She feels relieved too, for some reason.

“Just that, it’s all pretty meaningless, you know? Just telling other rich people where to go and what to do.” He doesn’t sound bitter, or judgemental, just reflective. “Like, the places I go - I see amazing stuff. Like truly phenomenal. I meet people I would never meet here. But readers don’t care about the people, you know? They care about infinity pools and a wall with wings painted on it you can pose in front of.” He groans. “Ugh, I sound like such a dickhead.”

Penelope shook her head, mystified. Who the hell was this guy, who looked like this, but felt like that? It’s like he was written by a woman, and she wasn’t proud of the way that only made her want him more.

“You don’t sound like a dickhead, though,” she answered honestly. “Like the opposite, actually.”

He looked back at her hopefully, and she felt her heart twist. She rushed to continue, feeling the inexplicable urge to make that slightly tortured look on his face disappear.

“You feel like this because the thing you’re channeling your creative energy into doesn’t align with your values.” This was easy for Penelope, she’d been there before. This was where she lived, actually. “That’s pretty soul-destroying. You could have the best job in the world, but if it’s for something you don’t care about, it will still feel pretty hollow.”

She watched as he looked at her, his stare so intense she felt she couldn’t look away, and promptly stumbled over a knot of grass. Colin’s hand was on her in an instant, steadying her.

“Thanks, Pen,” he murmured as he pulled her gently back to standing before she could go face first into the ground.

“Thank you.” She laughed lightly, but her heart was thudding, whether from the feeling of his hot hand on her arm or because of the way he said her name, low and like he meant it. He also called her Pen, and it reminded her that Pen - aka Holiday Penelope - had a mission here in Australia. She gulped.

He cleared his throat and gently let go of her arm.

“You okay?”

She nodded and he looked like he was making sure for a minute before he began walking again.

“Not much further,” he said, “Sorry for distracting you.”

She laughed. Like it was his fault she didn’t watch where she was going. Like it was his fault he was gorgeous and interesting at the same time.

“Well, you did save me earlier today. I guess an unsave was only fair.”

“True, but then I saved you again so you owe me again.”

“Is that why we’re heading into the forest in the middle of the night? So you can unsave me where no-one can hear me scream?”

Christ, she didn’t mean for that to sound so sexual, but it did. She bit her lip to stop the hysterical giggle in her throat from bubbling out. She wondered if she imagined the way his eyes widened when she glanced at him quickly, hoping he wasn’t horrified.

“It would be pretty dumb for me to unsave you within a five k radius of El. I’m pretty sure she’ll come after you if I don’t return you in the next half an hour.”

She laughed. God, she was laughing a lot. Her cheeks were hurting from it.

They walked on in comfortable silence, and she saw the vines coming to an end soon in front of them.

“I’m a writer, too,” she offered, feeling the need to balance the vulnerability scales slightly.

“Really? What do you write?”

Why did he act like that was the most amazing thing he’s ever heard, she wondered as his face lit up in response to what she’d said. She laughed.

“Nothing too groundbreaking.” She feels that familiar tug of embarrassment and guilt. Embarrassment at how she wasn’t proud of what she did, guilt that this is how she spent her time. “I work for a magazine, and most of it is pretty dumb…So like, I get it. I had hoped to use my skills for something a bit more meaningful too.” She frowned as she spoke. Was she only just realising that she hated her job? She complained about it in a “I don't want to go to work I hate Mondays” regular kind of way, but she realised how soul-sucking it was to spend all her time and energy (and talent, she reminded herself) on things that literally didn’t matter. The fad diets, the gossip, the skincare trends - even if they were useful, they were inevitably disputed and debunked by a trend toting the complete opposite a week or so later anyway. It was exhausting.

“What do you wish you could write instead?”

Penelope blinked as they passed through the end of the vineyard and began following a rough set of tire tracks through the trees on the other side.

She didn’t think anyone had ever asked her that before. She hadn’t even asked herself that.

“I actually don’t know,” She laughed at her own honesty. She expected him to question that, to show some judgement. She was judging herself, in a way. What kind of person complains about wanting to do something else without knowing what the else actually was? But instead when she glanced at him this time, he was smiling softly at her.

“Yeah, me neither," he said quietly.

She looked away, completely flabbergasted by this man. Rationally, she knew that each thing she learnt about him would potentially make things more complicated if she did make a move. She really liked him. Like she would want to spend all her time with him if she lived in the same place he did. Which was insane.

But she wasn’t being Rational Penelope right now. She was Pen. Pen who took risks, even if they might hurt.

And truly, she’d been cautious as hell with Debling, and where had that gotten her? At least if this hurt it would hurt because he was a good, kind person, not because he wasn’t. It was a nice change of pace.

She smirked to herself as the dry leaves crunched under her, the trees silent around her otherwise. She knew she was rationalising like an insane person, trying to justify what she was about to do. But she also knew even if she couldn’t find a single reason to, she’d still do it. Because the more time she spent with this man, the more she needed to feel his lips on hers. It was becoming vital to her survival she was pretty sure. Self-preservation had left the building, and instead desire, pure and hot, filled the gap it left.

Her stomach fluttered at the thought, but she felt strangely calm too. Part of her was sure she was bluffing.

Colin’s soft voice cut through her thoughts.

“Look.”

Colin had come to a stop under a tree, and was pointing the torch up towards its canopy. She moved to stand next to him, her eyes searching the lit up branches until they settled on a large, dark blob with two reflective orbs. No, four reflective orbs. There were two smaller ones. It took a moment for her brain to make sense of what she was seeing, but eventually the shape of a cat-sized creature sitting on the branch with a smaller creature clinging to its back could be made out. She couldn’t help the gasp of delight she let out.

Beside her, she could hear the smile in Colin’s voice.

“Possums. These ones are brush-tailed, but we get ring-tailed around here too. They’re pretty common around here, but after you freaked out about the kangaroos I figured you’d like this, too.”

She smiled; she supposed she had freaked out.

The mother stared back down at them defiantly, almost as though she was asking what they were looking at. She was adorable, with catlike ears and a pointed face that ended in a pink nose. Her eyes were massive, glowing red in the light, and her tail trailed behind her, dark and fluffy. Her baby was even cuter, tiny arms that dug into thick fur, face partially nuzzled into mum’s back. Eventually, Mum seemed to decide they weren’t a threat, and began moving along the branch slowly, taking her time to get to wherever she was headed.

Penelope watched them move easily amongst the greenery, and felt the feeling she’d had when she saw the kangaroos earlier flood her once more. She was seeing this, for real, with her real life eyes. These weird little creatures, existing in this faraway pocket of the world, and she was here, witnessing it. She never thought she’d go anywhere, really. Just assumed adventure and exploration were for other people, not her. Just like familial support and love. She felt tears well in her eyes.

She quickly brushed a tear from her eye, hoping Colin hadn’t noticed. Glancing up at him, though, he had. She was watching the possums, and he was watching her.

“You okay?” he asked it gently, and she felt shivers of…something down her spine.

She nodded, laughing a little wetly.

“Yeah… yeah. Sorry, it's so dumb. You see these all the time, probably.”

He didn’t laugh, instead looking at her so seriously for a moment she was worried she’d offended him.

“Yeah, I do. But it's not dumb. I don’t remember the last time I cried seeing something amazing, and I see amazing things all the time. I think I might be the dumb one, actually.” He lowered the torch to his side and she heard the click of it turning off, and then scurrying in the branches above them as Mama continued her journey.

Penelope didn’t know what to say to that. Part of her wanted to laugh it off. Part of her wanted to reassure him. But something told her that’s not what this moment needed. Not what he needed.

So she kissed him instead.

Turning so she was facing him fully, she rose to her toes so her face was close to his. She brought her arms up to circle his neck, even as London Penelope begged to know what on earth she thought she was doing. She paused before she closed the distance between them, giving him a chance to pull away, to say no. But he didn’t.

In the dark she couldn’t see his face, but she heard his breath stutter, and then his hands were gently on her waist and pulling her in, closing the distance for her.

When their lips met, it was gentle. They barely brushed together at all. But the feeling was immediate. Bright, hot electricity raced through her, sparking from the nerves in her face and travelling down like a lightning strike, obliterating what had been there before. It made her breath catch, and then she was going back for more.

She pulled herself closer to him, humming with satisfaction as his big hands pressed into her. She kissed him harder this time, control something she no longer possessed nor remembered. All there was was Colin and his big hands and his firm body and the taste of his salty mouth on hers.

The kiss deepened, and she couldn't help the moan that left her as he ran his tongue over her lip before delving into her mouth. She followed his lead immediately, her tongue meeting his as they tangled together, fresh sparks blazing through her body and ending in an inferno at her core.

All she could hear was the wet noises their lips made together, their heavy breathing and the crunch of dry foliage under their feet as they attempted to get closer still.

He was so warm, and she pressed herself to him, trying to get closer. He gave a groan of his own as she slid her fingers through his hair and it spun her out to have this man make that noise because of her. She nipped his lip back and it was like something flickered in both of them because suddenly he was pushing slightly harder than she was, and she found herself being pressed up against the same tree she had just seen possums in while she clawed at his scalp and moaned into his mouth. The trunk was hard under her back, and it made her feral to be so completely consumed, the neediness of their kisses increasing with each new sensation.

His hands found her ass and the pulsing between her legs became an incessant throb that nearly had her knees giving way completely. His fingers dug into her flesh as he groped her, a far cry from the delicate touches and soft words he’d showered her with all day, yet somehow completely in keeping with the quiet passion she had spied in his eyes.

“Pen,” he whispered the words into her mouth, sounding as utterly wrecked as she felt. She couldn’t remember a man ever being as affected by her. Hell, she couldn’t remember ever being so affected by anyone before. “I’ve wanted to do this all day.”

She couldn’t have stopped the whimper that escaped her even if she wanted to.

“Yeah,” she muttered back, pulling him to her as if he could somehow get closer. “Me too.”

She felt a hand play with the hem of her skirt and her breath hitched at the feeling of his fingers brushing her thigh.

“Can I-”

“Yes.” She was agreeing, nodding vigorously before he could even ask, and he gave an exhale of a chuckle, setting alight a completely different part of her insides, somehow.

Slowly she felt his fingertips trace her thigh, running up the soft skin upwards, upwards, gathering fabric as they went. They were so close. He was so close. Jesus fucking christ. It was everything. He was going to-

“Colin?! Pen?”

The shout made her gasp, and Colin’s hand whipped out from under her skirt so quickly she felt a breeze. He straightened but didn’t let go of her, instead blinking a few moments before a look of understanding dawned on his face, then irritation.

“Eloise.” He almost growled it, sighing heavily before resting his head against hers, using the hand that had been so close to taking her to another dimension, she was sure, to smooth her hair behind her ear.

“Are you guys out here? Are you dead?” Her voice was closer now and Colin stepped back slowly, keeping a hand on her waist.

“We should go find her before she hunts us down,” he smiled apologetically. “Sorry.”

Penelope noted that the loss she felt at his departure was absurd, but she felt it all the same.

“Me too,” she chuckled, and attempted to straighten herself up, smoothing down her dress and stepping away from the tree. Colin finally took his hand away, but not before laughing lightly and picking a piece of bark from her hair.

They had just begun making their way back along the track, Penelope feeling cool between her legs where the night air met her damp underwear, as Eloise appeared in front of them.

“There you are! Are you finished looking at things in the dark yet? We’re about to play charades and I want Penelope to be on my team.”

“Oh, well by all means, that’s definitely a good reason to come screaming after us in the middle of the night.”

Penelope bit her lip to stop herself from laughing at what she was sure was an uncharacteristic edge in his voice. At least she wasn’t the only one suffering.

Eloise frowned at his tone, but didn’t say anything, simply coming to loop her arm in Penelope’s.

“Come on, we’ll have way more fun than you guys were.”

Pen could have cried. That seemed highly unlikely.

Chapter Text

Colin Bridgerton woke up the day after meeting Penelope Featherington the hardest he’d ever been in his life. And that was after rubbing one (or maybe two) out before bed.

It was insane, really. He had never felt like this before, ever. He’d certainly never been so attracted to someone he’d nearly defiled them against a tree. Yet here he was, pitching a tent like a teenager and the smell of a girl he hadn’t known twenty-four hours ago lingering around the edges of his consciousness. Because he’d dreamt of her, hadn’t he? Of course he had.

Fuck.

He would say there was something about her, but that wasn’t quite right. No, it was everything about her.

Was this his first crush? Surely they didn’t all feel like this? Like he wanted to keep kissing her, see what happened next, even if Eloise stumbled upon them. Even if his entire family had to pull him off her. Like he wanted to punch Benedict when he’d very generously offered to drive Penelope back to Kate’s place for the night, since all her belongings were still there. Like he wanted to run after the car as it peeled out of the lot like a dog, yapping until they stopped and he could rip open the door and propose or something.

He was fairly sure that’s not what crushes usually felt like. Surely not. That would be insane. How did anyone get anything done?

He rolled onto his side and peered at the clock there. 4.30am. If he hurried, he could catch the sunrise from his board. Penelope wasn’t due to arrive until around mid-morning, he had made sure to overhear. And it wasn’t like he would sleep anymore like this. He listened for signs that any of his family had had similar thoughts. Only silence though, and he was relieved. He didn’t feel up for company this morning as it was. At least not yet (maybe not until mid-morning).

The air was already warm, and he didn’t bother with a shirt, simply tossing on boardies and splashing his face with some cold water to handle his situation (he would not wank for the third time in twelve hours, he would not), before heading downstairs.

In the kitchen, the soft blue of day was beginning to creep in already, always coming in quick over the summer. He used the soft light of the rangehood to make himself a coffee and toast, before heading out to the back patio, closing the glass door softly behind him.

Outside the air was cooler, and perfectly still, and he could see the roos down in the valley as he set his breakfast on the outside bench and began applying sunscreen. He smiled as two joeys play-fought with one another, and wondered if he'd ever see them the same way after yesterday. It didn’t seem likely.

Still chewing his last bite of toast and with his board under his arm, he walked down through the bush track down to the beach. The sand was cold on his feet, not yet warmed by the day. Every now and again he heard the crackles and thuds of kangaroos moving off as he passed them, galahs bursting up from the bush with indignant shrieks.

When the bush track widened and opened onto the sand dunes, Colin took an inhale, relishing that feeling. The feeling that never got old, no matter how many times he’d emerged from the greenery onto sand. Like he could breathe again. He felt free here. No restrictions to his left or right, just the seashore. Ahead of him; only the horizon, above him; only sky with a few faint stars flickering.

It was hard to feel claustrophobic when he couldn’t see the edges. It was hard to suffocate when the wind pushed salty air in and out of his lungs. It was hard to go numb when the water would greet him viscerally and stunningly, crisp and icy.

Ahead of him, the swell rose and fell like an animal sleeping, beautiful, gentle, powerful. As he made his way into the water, orange and pink were just beginning to streak across the sky from the eastern point of the beach. The first touch of the water against his feet made him gasp, his dive reflex kicking in and lungs switching to deeper pulls of air immediately. He walked out against the bubbling water, relishing the pull of the waves against his thighs. Each drop of water against his skin was a caress, the ocean seemingly welcoming him home. The smile on his face lifted like the last pockets of darkness in the sky above him.

Transitioning onto his board on his belly, he paddled out, ducking under waves as he headed out past the breakers. The water was fizzy, cold and clear, turquoise flooding his senses. Once past the breakpoint, he sat up, straddling his board. From there he floated, relaxed, and watched as the first few rays of the sun spilled over the horizon. He watched the water sparkle with the new day’s light. He would catch some waves soon, but for now, he was content witnessing the sunrise on the water, and feeling like the only person in the world.

He wished Penelope was there.

It took him by surprise. In all his years, all the mornings he had rushed to be the first out the door to get a moment alone, never had he wished someone was there with him. Not for this. This was his own private ritual, one that existed between only him, the sky and the sea. And now, in this place that normally brought him peace in a way terrestrial places just couldn’t, something felt missing.

He shook his head, dismissing the thought.

That was insane behaviour. He had known her for a day.

A day, Colin.

And yet…

“Oi!”

He rolled his eyes despite the reluctant smile that accompanied it, not even needing to turn his head to know who it was. He swivelled on his board, and sure enough, there was Ben, paddling out to him. Behind him on the beach, Franc was wriggling into her wetsuit while Hy took photos of the sunrise on her phone.

He waited for Ben to reach him, watching as Ant emerged from the bush as well in the background, wasting no time striding into the water. He was probably pissed they had arrived first, Colin smirked.

“Oi y’self,” Colin jutted his chin out at him as he got within earshot.

Ben grinned, sitting up on his board.

“You here to surf or look pretty?”

“Well I’m not here to fuck spiders,” Colin grinned back and Ben chortled at his exaggerated okkaness. He couldn’t wait for Penelope to hear that one.

“Oh okay, it just seemed like you were looking at the sunrise and thinking about something,” Ben sidled up to him, his board close to bumping his, “...like a girl or something. Or maybe one particular girl? With red hair-”

“Excuse me, I have a wave to catch,” Colin cut him off sternly, failing to smother the smirk on his mouth at just the mention of her. Jesus Christ. He quickly slid onto his belly once more, paddling away before Ben could continue, but not before he saw the triumphant grin on his face.

It had been one day.

Walking back to the house, Colin felt almost human. The cold water seemed to have shocked some sanity into him and he was not even thinking about Penelope (that much). With any luck he would have a shower and some breakfast and by the time she arrived, he would feel like the old Colin. Even if he didn’t quite know who that was.

It was almost eight, and the sand was already warm under his feet. Lizards and skinks skittered off the bushtrack as he approached, and he could still hear the deep crash of the surf as he made his way back onto the property.

As the house came into sight he made out the bustle of breakfast underway, kids running around while bowls and plates were carted back and forth between the house and the patio table. He chuckled at the sound of his nephews negotiating which cereals were healthier. They were going to be devastated by Froot Loops, he could already tell.

The rest of the family (bar his brothers who were catching “one more wave”) were up now, and the air smelt of coffee, bacon and fruit.

He approached his mother, leaning down to give her a kiss on the cheek.

“Morning love,” she smiled, buttering some toast for Kiara, whose high chair was next to her.

“Hey,” he said, moving to give Ki a big smooch while she giggled hysterically.

“Hey, Colin,”

His head snapped up immediately, Penelope’s voice as quiet yet arresting as it had been yesterday. She was here already? Just sitting there, glistening in the sunlight, while he’d been wasting time in the ocean? When she looked like that? She was wearing a dress of some kind again (lord have mercy) in a soft yellow, and the straps that tied up behind her neck made it clear she had a bikini on underneath, dark blue by the looks of it. He’d have to inspect to be sure.

He cleared his throat, trying to salvage how startled she’d made him while Scarlet, Daph’s eight year old, looked between them and giggled. She was getting more and more like her mother every day, the little monkey, and he resisted dobbing on her for having sugar on her cocoa puffs as a distraction.

“Pen, hey…” he managed to get out eventually, and she just smiled back at him, serene and stunningly attractive. He suddenly had a flash of her moaning in his mouth and he realised he needed to leave, immediately.

He backed away, trying not to run, calling out that he was heading for a shower while his infernal family exchanged looks and smiles around the table. Once he was out of eyesight he bolted up the stairs, making for the bathroom. Three times it would have to be then…

“Oh, sorry!”

Every ounce of calm Colin had managed to accomplish during his shower evaporated as he stepped out of the hallway and straight into Penelope. Grabbing her by the waist to steady her, he felt his heart hammer in his chest again. Would she be able to tell he just came thinking about her? No, right? That wasn’t possible.

She was blushing, looking up at him flusteredly. He cleared his throat.

“No, I’m sorry, I ah- wasn’t expecting you to be there…”

Penelope smiled apologetically, still bright red.

“I needed the bathroom,” she explained and he just nodded, hoping his head wouldn’t fall off. He realised he hadn’t removed his hand yet. Realising that did not seem to achieve anything though, his palm seemingly glued to her side.

It was silent for a moment, and Colin was positive she would be able to hear his heartbeat. Should he say something about last night? What would he even say? Should he kiss her again? In a surprise to no one, he was unfairly aroused once more.

“I, um…” he began, with no idea where he was planning on taking the sentence. Penelope bit her lip, seemingly stifling a smile. God, she was hot. He trailed off.

“You…?” she prompted and he felt his mouth go dry as he stared at her lips.

“I…” words failed him for a second time, and before he could embarrass himself further Penelope reached up and gently kissed him on the mouth.

Oh.

Oh, yes.

Not needing further encouragement, he pulled her closer, his other hand circling her waist. This was much better than what he was going to say, whatever it was.

It was as divine as he remembered, her mouth hot and warm and he inhaled her thoroughly. She tasted like syrup and salt and his hands wandered down to cup her ass without any instruction from his brain. He felt her hands in his hair and groaned deeply. God, he’d follow her anywhere, he just knew it.

He was just about to scoop her up and take her to his room when she pulled back, breathing heavily.

He looked down at her, panting, knowing he looked deranged.

“We’ll finish this later,” she whispered and he nodded, disappointed and enthralled at once. Later. She wanted this as much as he did, it seemed. He reluctantly stepped back from her and she smiled at him, biting her lip before continuing down the hall. He stood for a moment, watching her go, and leaned heavily against the wall. He would need a minute before he could face his family.

A short while later, Colin was sitting down at the table himself, trying to remember how to chew and breathe at the same time. Conveniently, the only chair that was available was the one directly across from Penelope, even though Duke had been sitting there when he’d gone to shower and was now at the other end of the table.

Penelope was listening to Eloise chat about something while she ate strawberries obscenely. He was sure she wasn’t meaning for it to be the most erotic thing he’s ever seen but she was one drop of juice onto her breast and an exaggerated gasp from this being a porno as far as he was concerned. And she wasn’t even doing anything, really. Chewing slowly. Lips stained slightly from the fruit. A slight suck when she bit into each one to catch any errant juice.

Fuck.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, begging himself to think of literally anything else.

You know what those lips taste like his mind whispered.

Fucking hell, he did (it was heaven, in case anyone was wondering. That’s what her lips tasted like).

She was speaking again and it irritated him, how her beauty distracted him from her words and how her words distracted him from her beauty. How in the hell was he supposed to handle this?

Maybe he wasn’t.

Last night, staring at the ceiling. This morning, out on the water. Upstairs, just now, in the shower. And ten minutes ago, in the hall. All he had thought about was Penelope. He had tried, in vain, to think of anything but Penelope. To no avail, obviously.

So what was the alternative?

What do you choose when sanity has been removed as an option? There’s really only one thing left.

Swallowing hard, Colin let himself relax in his chair. He took a breath. He discreetly adjusted himself. Then he fixed his gaze on the woman in front of him.

Maybe coincidentally, Penelope returned his gaze for the first time since he’d sat down. Eloise was busy grabbing more coffee for herself, and everyone else seemed to have found their own conversations. For a moment it felt like it was just the two of them, staring at each other across the table.

Maybe he should look away. Normally he would. But he didn’t want to. He could stare at her eyes forever. Drown in them and let her save him this time.

Penelope didn’t look away either.

If they really had been alone, Colin would have jumped across the table to get to her.

Mesmerised in the blueness of her eyes, he thought about how she might react if he crawled under the table, lifted that fucking dress and showed her just exactly what he’d been thinking about in the shower when he touched himself.

He let his eyes drift to her lips, and wondered whether if he kissed them right now, if she’d taste like strawberries. And if he kissed her hard enough, whether he would too.

His breath had deepened considerably, and he shook his head slightly, reminding himself that they were decidedly not alone.

But they would be.

Whether it was the last thing he did, he would be getting Penelope Featherington alone.

It was time for Colin Bridgerton to go insane.

Chapter Text

If the house didn’t give it away, the boat would have. How rich they were, that was.

They had a boat. Penelope had been on a boat exactly zero times, unless you count the row boats at the park in London, which she didn’t. This was high seas shit.

She squinted, the sun bouncing off the surface of the water as they glided over it. Her hair whipped around her neck, and she glanced across at Colin who was sitting next to her. He was already watching her, and he smiled reassuringly. Clearly checking if she was okay. He had also checked her life jacket three times, despite not wearing one himself. She had told him she could swim, but she feared her mishap yesterday, coupled with her boat virgin confession, meant he was already visualising a second rescue in 24 hours. Not that she would be complaining, maybe she’d finagle a mouth-to-mouth this time.

Anyway.

She’d been excited when they’d shared their plans for the day, but it was vastly more adventurous than anything she had planned for herself for the week. But there were like fifteen other people, she would be fine, they wouldn’t let her drown. Colin wouldn’t let her drown.

Once she’d been buckled into the yellow jacket despite her protests, she’d watched as they’d backed the boat trailer into the water, wondering how the dinghy was supposed to fit all of them. Colin held it in waistdeep water before hoisting himself onboard while the others pulled items out of the cars, getting ready. She was confused as Ben grinned at her as he gestured to the pier nearby (or jetty, as they called it), and told her “guests first”. She felt her lips pop open at the sight of Colin, standing in the boat with his hand on the outboard motor, shirtless, taxiing it alongside her as she walked. When he held his hand out to her, she gulped, walking down the steps to the lower platform. Taking his hand, she stepped onboard, Colin’s hand on her hip both steadying and destabilising her at once. He gestured for her to sit, not seeming to be able to resist tugging at her lifejacket once more, and something primal in her growled. She wanted him to pull her everywhere, all the time. By the hair, maybe.

“I’m going first trip, I’ve got the esky,” Greg’s voice startled her as she realised that he was climbing aboard now, big blue cooler in his hands. She watched in awe as he effortlessly made his way to the front of the boat despite carrying the container she had witnessed being filled with eighty per cent alcohol. Maybe the Bridgertons were magic?

Fran came next, bags of snorkel gear in her hands. Pen realised she’d brought literally nothing, just her beach bag.

“Oh- do you need help-” she began to offer but Fran just smiled and shook her head, even as Colin grinned.

“You relax,” he suggested warmly, and she blushed, before she heard him continue; “let’s just focus on keeping you on board for now.”

She tried to scowl, but it kept twisting itself into a smile so she gave up and looked out at the water, which was just as casually spectacular as yesterday.

She realised they were moving away from the jetty, and peered back at the rest of the family on the shore, confused.

“You okay?” Colin called out over the roar of the motor.

She nodded, yelling back.

“What about everyone else?”

“Greg’ll come back for them,” he explained, clarifying nothing. He must have seen the way her brows stayed scrunched together, because he grinned, pointing forward. She followed his hand and her eyes fell on a catamaran. A giant catamaran. Her jaw dropped.

“That’s where we’re going?” she asked, incredulous. She started to feel better about her day on the seven seas. Colin winked, sitting next to her and turning the tiller, accelerating as Greg cheered from the front. She felt a thrill zip down her belly, and the vibrations of the engine buzzed up through the metal seat. She shifted, suddenly very aware of how little fabric there was between her and the aluminium (it was vibrating for fuck’s sake). Aware of the way Colin had let his leg fall out to the side, bumping against her every time the boat bucked over the water (he could bounce her against a headboard, maybe?). Aware that adrenaline was coursing through her veins with the speed they whipped across the water, adrenaline that was not dampening down her hormones (she wanted him to handle her tiller like that).

It was exhilarating, but desperately frustrating, and she was relieved (but also not relieved at all), when they pulled alongside the bigger boat. She watched Colin’s hands masterfully do things with rope and was glad her bathing suit was literally designed for getting wet.

The same big hand reached down to help her onto the boat as she climbed up the ladder, pulling her on so firmly she landed against his chest with an oof. She could have cried as she peeled herself off him, well aware that Fran was coming up behind her. She glanced up at Colin, gratified to see him frown. At least she wasn’t suffering alone.

She made her way further onboard, watching hopefully casually as Colin hoisted cargo onto the boat (Greg was helping too, she supposed, but that seemed unimportant). Fran had headed below deck, so she was free to observe the view unencumbered as she took off her lifejacket.

And what a view it was.

Once she dragged her eyes from the glistening (fucking glistening) man, she cast her sights on the landscape (waterscape?). Out to sea, there was nothing but dark blue; the odd white peak appearing from time to time. Back towards shore, the water was aqua and sparkling. White rimmed the sea, beaches punctuated by the odd rocky full stop stretching as far as she could see from one end to another. Behind the sand, trees of apple, forest and olive green mottled a strip of its own, trees backing each beach like bodyguards.

“Not bad, aye?”

Colin’s voice broke her out of her reverie, and she noticed Greg pulling back towards the beach as she turned towards him. He was standing very close to her. She could smell him. He smelled fucking good.

She swallowed.

“It’s alright,” she smiled, and melted slightly when he grinned back. Was him finding her funny turning her on? Probably, everything else did.

He moved to lean on the railing next to her, bringing his (mouthwatering) bicep next to her, and his (edible) face closer to hers. She glanced down at his lips (those fucking lips, she’d dreamt of those lips). She felt herself rising up on her toes even as she thought how convenient it was that they had the boat to themselves.

“Do you guys have sunblock?”

Almost to themselves.

She bit back a groan, because Fran really was the nicest person she’d ever met she was pretty sure. Colin looked like he was doing the same as he stepped to the side, and Fran came into view with a bottle the size of her head, looking decidedly embarrassed as she realised she may have been interrupting something.

Pen smiled.

“I applied before I left this morning,”

Instead of Fran looking satisfied though, she looked concerned. So did Colin.

“That won’t be enough,”

“What about your back?”

They both spoke at the same time, and she bit back a laugh. These bloody Bridgertons.

“Really, Pen,” Colin was serious (adorable and hot), “you left yours a few hours ago, and with your skin…” he trailed off, and she didn’t miss the way his eyes also trailed over her body. Fran also didn’t, judging from her smirk.

“Okay, I’ll reapply,” she reassured him, anything to make him stop looking at her like that when she couldn’t do anything about it. Fran looked relieved, hurriedly passing her the sunscreen and disappearing back below.

“I’ll help you,” Colin said quickly, before clearing his throat and blushing. This fucking man. She couldn’t have kept the smile off her face if she’d tried.

“That’s very nice of you,” she returned, blushing too and feeling very hot when she realised what exactly she’d agreed to. His hands. On her body. With cream. Spreading. Oh God.

Feeling awkward, she realised she should probably attempt to apply some herself. Squirting some on her palm before setting the bottle on the floor, she started with her arms, rubbing it in as she saw Colin lean down in the corner of her eye, retrieving some lotion of his own. Then he paused, hands slick with sunscreen.

She looked at him questioningly. He swallowed.

“I don’t want to sound pervy, but…”

She scoffed.

“But…” she prompted.

“You should probably take your dress off,” he bit his lip, half cheeky, half mortified, “so you’ll be safe when you swim.”

She nodded, that made sense. She’d also strip completely naked even if he made no sense. But he didn’t need to know that. Yet.

Smirking and glancing at the door Fran had disappeared through, she decided she’d probably learnt her lesson since the last time she’d popped up.

She untied the tie at her cleavage, the yellow fabric falling open easily. She gulped as she heard Colin’s breath stutter. Fuck, was that reaction to her?

She looked down at her bathing suit, or more relevantly, her chest, where her breasts were looking particularly delectable, especially from this angle. She blinked, looking back up at Colin who was looking at her face. Now, at least.

She let the dress fall from her shoulders and turned around, gathering her hair from her neck. She felt goosebumps rise in anticipation, and there was a pause before she felt his hands on her back. She gasped at the contact, and Colin’s hands froze.

“Sorry,” he murmured, “it’s probably cold.”

It wasn’t, not at all. It was blazing hot, actually.

Slowly he began to move his hands, traversing the expanse of her back easily with his finger span. She suppressed a moan as he touched her, gentle but firm. Like he was meant to touch her. He was. Surely he was. Why would it feel so good, otherwise?

She felt his hands lower, touching the sensitive skin around her waist, and she resisted leaning back into him.

His touch moved lower, brushing over the skin above her waistband. She wasn’t sure there was any sunscreen left on his hands at this point, but did she give a fuck? No.

Back and forth, back and forth, like he was hypnotised, she felt his hands trail back and forwards over her lower back and her mouth was dry. She wanted to beg him to pull her bottoms down, to bend her over the railing and make her contribute to the water cycle.

“Colin…” her voice was closer to begging than she’d like when suddenly she was aware of a very loud noise somewhere nearby. Annoyed, she glanced over the railway to see the boat pulling up beside them, Greg grinning widely up at them with a new batch of passengers.

“We’re back!” he called up happily, his grin too satisfied for him not to know exactly what he was doing.

“Fuck.” Colin’s growl went straight between her legs, and she laughed shakily. He took his hands off her, and she blushed, remembering she was close to naked in front of a bunch of people she didn’t know. She quickly pulled her dress back up, and Colin handed her the bottle of sunscreen.

“Don’t forget your legs,” he grumbled, sulky yet soft, and she watched him head over to help them moor the boat once more, wondering if her eyes were heart-shaped as she did.

𓇼

Penelope didn’t think she’d ever heard her breath so loud before. Sucked through the snorkel before it whooshed back out. She could hear her thudding heart, and a faint clicking that Colin said was a combination of crayfish and parrot fish, despite there being nothing but sand under them. There was a fizzing in her ears, like the ocean was alive. She supposed it was.

Floating on the surface, she was at once daunted and in awe, swept along with the slightest flick of her flippers. It was fundamentally strange, she found, to have absolutely nothing below her body as she lay suspended on the surface. It was like flying, sort of. She moved her hand below her face, watching in awe the way her body moved unrestricted in unlimited space.

She felt a tap on her shoulder, and she gingerly manoeuvred into a treading water position, popping her head from the water. Colin was next to her, mask on and mouthpiece hanging by his face. How did he make that attractive?

“You all good?” he checked once again. She smiled, removing her mouthpiece carefully and thankful this time for his overconcern in this unchartered situation.

“I think so,” she laughed nervously. She could swim, her flippers fit fine and she could breathe. She was floating. She just felt so…untethered.

Colin moved closer, lifting his mask so he could look at her properly, seemingly.

“Well, this is a good start. We can head back on board if you like?”

Penelope was a little tempted. The safety of the massive boat was only a few metres away. But it was strange. Now she’d learnt to fly, she wasn’t ready to give it up just yet. Even if it felt like she might fall at any moment. She shook her head firmly.

“No, let’s keep going. Please,” she added quickly. Colin regarded her for a moment, before nodding.

“Okay, but can you promise me something?” he asked, and she was already agreeing, in her head.

“You tell me, okay? Anything, everything. I don’t care if you think it’s not a big deal, tell me. If your mask fogs up, if you get water in your snorkel, if you get seaweed stuck to your leg, I don’t care. You tell me.” His voice was serious, and it thrilled her endlessly even as she melted at his obvious concern for her. She nodded.

He smiled, seemingly satisfied with her response, before putting his mask on and pointing towards the shore.

“There’s reef out this way, and we can follow it to the shore if you’re up for it, but we’ll see how we go. We still have to come back, don’t forget.”

She nodded. It looked very far to the rocks on the shore, and she remembered that she’d promised to be honest about her limits. Which, shit. Meant she’d have to be aware of them in the first place.

“I’ll be ahead of you, but I’ll go slow. Just yank on my flipper if you need my attention.” He grinned as he put his mouthpiece (lucky bastard) back in.

“Got it,” she agreed and he gave a thumbs up before moving easily in the direction he’d just been pointing at. Feeling a little like she was stepping off a cliff, she put her face back in the water and followed.

Below, the sand was pristine and sculpted in perfect waves, the odd rock or piece of seaweed appearing on the seafloor. Ahead of her, she noticed the way Colin looked back every few seconds, checking on her, and it made her feel less scared of the gap between her and the ocean floor.

A dark line appeared ahead of them, and as they got closer she realised it was seagrass, moving gracefully with the current. A chill travelled down her spine as she pondered all she couldn’t see that was hidden among the strands. Her heart slammed as she crossed the border of sand to seaweed, realising she couldn’t just stand if she needed to without risking putting her feet in unknown places. Which was ridiculous, since the water was too deep to stand anyway. But still.

Colin was waiting for her, seemingly predicting her apprehension at the transition and hovering in the water, asking if she was okay with a questioning thumbs up. Despite the fear nipping at her heels, she returned his sign, because she was okay. She was nervous, but she was okay.

Carefully keeping her feet as close to the surface as possible (a physical headfuck, but she was managing), she steadied her breathing. Then squealed as something darted out of the dark turquoise.

Colin was next to her immediately, a warm hand on her arm as she followed with her eyes what turned out to be a small silver fish. She laughed nervously, the sound muffled by her mouthpiece, still appreciative of the way Colin squeezed her arm gently before letting go.

As her heart slowed a little she realised there were many of these fish, looking more like flashes of white light than fishes, really. She watched, fascinated, as they darted in and out of the strands of weed, quick and nimble. She wondered if they ever had the urge to swim up and nibble on snorkellers. She would ask Colin later.

Colin floated next to her, watching and waiting until she nodded at him, ready to move on. They swam on, and she only had small heart palpitations when the little fish darted out from them on. After a few minutes she realised she was calming considerably, and enjoyed looking out for them, the way they scattered when their shadows passed over them. She felt like an alien flying overhead, hovering, observing a world she would never understand completely.

Joy bubbled in her veins, and she suddenly really understood why people did this. When else did she take the time to simply be and observe. Even her walks were filled with music and overthinking and wondering if she should swing by the bakery on the way home (she should).

Even the sea grass was fascinating, greens, browns and black mottled in uniform stripes of vegetation, each perfect strand unique in its own right. And the way it moved back and forth, it was like it was inhaling and exhaling, pushed and pulled by forces she could not see or even feel.

Feeling more confident, she kicked more powerfully, bringing herself alongside Colin, and was thrilled to see his returning smile. She could do this. She was doing this.

She swam alongside Colin, staying at his shoulder so he could still lead. He didn’t stop checking on her, though, his head turning every few metres in her direction, and it warmed her skin even in the cool water.

She noticed the terrain change once more up ahead, and felt herself grow nervous again. More than a simple strip of vegetation, the upcoming seascape contained hills and bumps, shapes rising from the seafloor towards the surface. As they got closer, she realised this must be the reef Colin was talking about.

Forms that looked like they were covered in thick brown fur, branching shelves of coral in dark purple and waving fronds of blue. Pops of orange and pink appeared as they neared, and she was in awe. Colin had said- apologetically- that it wasn’t as beautiful as the reefs elsewhere in Australia, and she had scoffed. That was the correct response, she was finding. It was better than any reef she had ever seen (it did not matter that she had seen no reefs until now).

It did make her apprehensive, though. There were an awful lot of cracks and crevices and weird shadowy bits. Octopi could be in there. Or sharks. Or monsters. She’d watched 72 Deadliest Animals in Australia. How did she know fifty of them weren’t lurking under that piece of suspicious looking coral?

Like clockwork, she felt Colin’s hand again. He motioned for her to put her head up, and she did.

“Okay?”

She took a shaky breath, and nodded even as she glanced down to make sure nothing was reaching tentacles towards her feet.

“You sure?” His voice was amused, but warm. She laughed breathlessly.

“Yeah, I just…there’s a lot of scary holes in there,” she explained. She saw him bite back his laugh, and dammit if it didn’t make her like him more.

“Yeah, there are,” he agreed, and she was grateful he didn’t try to talk her out of her fear. “But as long as you keep your hands out of any places you can’t see, you’ll be fine. Everything that lives here is scared of people, so they won’t attack unless you bring the fight to them.”

Penelope gulped. It was kind of reassuring, but it would have been more reassuring if he’d told her there were no creatures here that could harm her, period. She nodded, chewing on her lip thoughtfully.

“Oh!” She remembered what she wanted to ask him. “What were those fishes we saw?”

He laughed.

“Whiting. The smaller ones were whitebait.”

“What’s funny about that?” She wondered if she was supposed to know the names of the fishes before she went snorkelling. She had done zero fish prep.

“Nothing, it’s just. They’re like the most common fish here. And boring looking.”

Penelope frowned, feeling defensive, both of herself and the fish.

“Well they’re pretty! All silver and flashy! Just because there’s a lot of them doesn’t make that less true,” she grumbled, wondering why she was going to bat so hard for fish all of a sudden.

Colin’s smile was wide and breathtaking.

“You know what, you’re right. I apologise. To you and the fishes.” Weirdly, she didn’t feel like he was making fun of her even though he was being absurd. She felt like she knew him better than that, which was also insane. He cleared his throat.

“I should tell you though, if you think they’re pretty, you’re going to freak out when you see the reef fish…in a good way,” he added in response to her doubtful expression. She felt instantly reassured.

“Come on, let’s find some. When we get back to the boat I’ll show you which species are which.”

She nodded excitedly. She wasn’t sure why that sounded better than anything she’d ever been invited to do ever, especially since Al had loved nothing better than droning on about species classification. Maybe it was the way he wanted to include her in it, not talk at her. Maybe it was also the fact he was so attractive he could explain the process of making flour and she’d be enraptured.

It was only a few seconds after she had put her face back in when she gasped, a flash of black and white catching her eye. Round and as big as a hand (Colin’s hand, not hers), a striped fish straight out of an aquarium leisurely passed below them. She pointed excitedly and Colin nodded, before taking her hand and pointing it further afield than where she was looking.

She laughed in delight when she realised what he was pointing out, a group of four fish in iridescent blue. She realised as they got closer their bellies were orange, with shimmering cerulean splattered across their backs. Without thinking she swam forward, wanting to get closer, to see more.

It was like the sea opened up underneath her. The more she looked, the more she saw. Violet seasnails, sea anemones (she knew those ones) and sea stars in crimson, canary yellow and purple. She saw more fish, stripes and spots flickering in blacks, yellow and blues.

Colin pointed out things she didn’t see, a long skinny fish with an even skinnier nose like a needle. A fish with a beak (?), and greens, reds and blues that shimmered like peacock feathers. A giant thing that scared the shit out of her in royal blue. It was breathtaking, but bigger than she liked her fish to get, she decided. Colin was right, though. They moved away from her like soap repelling fat, a safe distance enforced naturally in their determination to stay away from humans.

She wasn’t sure how long they spent, slowly drifting over the reef, only that her fingers and toes were numb. Colin gestured for her to put her head up again, and she did, shocked to realised they were suddenly at the shore, orange rocks only a few metres away.

“Let’s get out for a sec,” he called, and she nodded, realising suddenly how tired she was. She followed him to where the sand appeared again, and they sat in the warm shallow water as they pulled off their flippers and their masks, groaning as rubber snapped off and left red marks.

Climbing on wobbly legs out of the water, the rocks were deliciously warm against her feet, and she felt completely waterlogged. They sat on a nearby rock, round and sunsoaked, small waves splashing against it gently. From where they sat, rocks stretched in either direction before petering out to a small sandy bay on each side. Penelope was surprised at how empty the beaches were, completely pristine and without a soul save a fisherman or two across the bay.

She fought the urge to drape herself over the rock completely, utterly spent. She never realised how exhausting snorkelling would be. Wasn’t it mostly floating?

She was gratified to see Colin seemed just as puffed, catching his breath as he leaned back on his hands in the sun. He was golden, she realised, sparkling with water droplet diamonds. He had no right to be so pretty.

She exhaled heavily and looked back out to sea. She would perv later, when she was less tired.

They sat in silence for a while, nothing to be heard but water trickling between rocks and their own slowing breaths. The sun was like a blanket, thawing feeling back into her extremities and making her feel grateful she had applied sunscreen so thoroughly.

It occurred to her, again, as she stared out at the water and tried to count the shades of blue, that it was perhaps off that silence would be so comfortable with a stranger. Had the water simply drained her of her stresses, somehow? Had he? Weirdly, they seemed like one and the same. Beauty and newness wrapped up in a package that at once comforted and exhilarated her.

Next to her, Colin spoke.

“So, what do you think? Snorkelling a yes or a no?”

She laughed.

“Definitely a yes. Surprisingly so, actually.”

“Why surprising?” he asked, and she turned to see him staring at her like that again. Like he wanted to know her. It gave her goosebumps. She thought for a second.

“I guess I didn’t think I would care about it so much…” she smiled sheepishly, rushing to explain. “My ex, Al, he was really into all the nature stuff. But I never really got it. But it’s like, I kind of do now…?” She shook her head. She sounded so stupid.

“That actually makes a lot of sense…”

She snorted, staring at him.

“No it doesn’t,” she retorted, smiling at his attempt to reassure her.

“Yes it does,” he reaffirmed, despite his grin. “I-” He swallowed, looking like he was unsure whether to share or not. She hoped he would. He cleared his throat and spoke.

“I have found, even though I see all of this stuff all the time, and I have always appreciated it, I have. But lately…it’s like I wasn’t really looking, you know?” His beautiful eyes, even bluer in the sunshine, pierced hers, and she nodded.

She wanted to ask him what changed, but she didn’t. It didn’t seem like her business. Instead she smiled softly.

“Yeah, exactly. And also. I think the way he would regard it all, it was very…clinical. That’s not to say there’s a wrong way to love things. I always admired his passion for the things he valued but…”

She stared out at the horizon, pondering. Colin didn’t say anything, just waited.

“The way he wielded his knowledge, his passion, it was like a tool. A weapon. A metric to judge people by. If he was telling you about a bird, it was because he knew more about it than you and he wanted you to know that. And if he was championing a cause, it was like a way to shame people….but I suppose it doesn’t matter, right? If the outcome is the same, does it matter how you get there?” She trailed off, musing. It was the first time she had verbalised this, realising how fundamental of a wedge it had driven between them. Even his love came from negativity, and she could never understand that.

“I think it does.” Colin’s voice cut through her thoughts, and she nodded.

“Yeah. Me too,” she admitted, realising it was true as she said it.

“How long ago did you break up?” Colin asked, and she realised for the first time maybe she shouldn’t be talking about her ex to the man she wanted to sleep with.

“A month ago…we were only together for like six months though,” she qualified, feeling the need to explain herself. Should she be sadder? It was a question she had asked herself every day since.

Colin nodded.

“Yeah, but still. Time doesn’t really matter, does it, when there’s feelings involved?” She studied his face, and sighed.

“I guess. Truly, though. It was not a loss. Only a loss of time. And self respect,” she joked, but felt that twinge in her gut. She could feel the salt drying on her skin now, and it itched. Colin just nodded, and she wondered if he was judging her. She didn’t feel like he was, but she just tended to assume everyone did.

“I mean I don’t know you that well. Or him, obviously. But I just have a feeling you have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. It sounds like loving fully is really important to you, so why wouldn’t you give it the best shot you could?”

Penelope felt her lips pop open.

How the fuck did he just resolve so perfectly something she’d wrestled with for weeks?

Colin looked awkward.

“Sorry, I don’t know anything about your situation-”

She cut him off with a hand on his arm.

“No. You’re actually absolutely fucking right. So right it’s annoying actually,” she shook her head in disbelief, a smile on her face.

“Oh.” Colin looked surprised, then pleased with himself, and she had the urge to wipe that look of his face. With her mouth.

What’s stopping you?

Colin seemed to realise it as he did, and his pupils expanded despite how bright the day was. She leaned in as he did, and when she could feel his breath on her lips there was the sound of a million small splashes, like rain on the sea. Her head followed the sound as Colin’s did and he took a quick breath in.

“Oh, it's a Port Jackie!” He exclaimed and she scrunched her eyes, confused.

“What?” She tried not to feel too bitter that yet another kiss had been stolen from her. Then she saw the reason for the sound as several of her friends from earlier (the whitebait) jumped out of the water.

She realised Colin was pointing behind the school though, and she saw a dark shape following them.

“It’s a Port Jackson shark,” he explained and she blinked at him.

“Sorry? A Port Jackson what?”

Colin saw her face and quickly explained.

“Shark. But it’s just a baby. And a floorfeeder. They don’t hurt people.”

She obviously didn’t look convinced as she looked back at the shape cruising under the water in front of them. It looked only about a metre long, but still. It was a shark, he said.

She felt his hand on her arm. “They’re harmless, I promise, Pen…I can show you if you like.”

Penelope stared at him. Oh, so he was insane. That was the catch. He was grinning, pulling on his flippers again like there was a world where she would agree to getting into the water with a fucking shark.

“We won’t get too close, it’ll probably swim away from us when we get in the water anyway. But they have a cool pattern,” his excitement was frustratingly charming, and she felt herself being persuaded. He said they weren’t dangerous, and she did trust him. For some reason. Why would he save her from drowning yesterday only to feed her a shark today? It didn’t make sense. She gulped.

“Fine…”

“Okay, well hurry then, before it leaves,” he urged, the enthusiasm in his voice making her smile even as she wrestled with her flippers.

A few moments later they were in the water again, the cold a shock after the warmth of the sun. She followed him closely, making sure he was well and truly in front of her. They followed the line of the rocks as they closed the distance between the dark shape and themselves quickly.

Through the mask, she could see it so clearly, and it was unlike anything she’d ever seen. It had a goofy square head and a charming overbite. She smiled despite herself, finding it hard to imagine how something with a head like robodog could be deemed scary after all. It had all these fins, triangular and covered in black patterning that looked like resin artwork. The coolest past were its eyes, though. Gold with black slits, they looked extraterrestrial. She didn’t even realise she was swimming directly alongside it until she looked for Colin and saw him watching her from the other side, his snorkelled mouth curling at the edges.

She nearly screamed as she realised how close she was, but made herself be calm, watching as it moseyed along the seafloor, in no hurry. If it was bothered by their presence it didn’t show it, leisurely and supinely crossing the sand.

She felt like laughing, but also crying. Because this was not what she thought her week would look like, and now she felt like grieving the version of her who might now experience it.

The shark reached a crack in the rocks, and she hung back as she watched it disappear into the dark. Her heart twisted a little, and she realised she was sad to see it go.

Looking at Colin, she saw him gesture for them to head back to the boat, and she nodded, following him before speeding up so she could swim alongside him. They took their time, coasting over coral structures and following interesting fish until they begrudgingly had to resume course.

As she pointed out a particularly vibrant fish to Colin, she had the brief thought that despite her deciding to use this holiday to be reckless and throw caution to the wind, she simultaneously couldn’t remember a time she’d ever felt so safe.

She was in the vast ocean, completely at the mercy of the elements, and yet. She didn’t feel scared. Just like the world had gotten a lot bigger.

Chapter Text

Back on the boat, Colin rubbed a towel through his hair and tried not to stare as Penelope did the same.

Cockblocked by a shark this time (or kiss-blocked? It wasn’t like he was planning to take her right there on the rock. Like a mermaid. She was a pretty mermaid though. Mmm, pretty mermaid Penelope), but he wasn’t as annoyed as when it was his siblings. Especially when he remembered the look on her face when she’d watched it swim under her. And seen it for the first time. And heard there was a shark at all.

Penelope was talking to someone who wasn’t him (upsetting) and tousling the ends of her hair with her towel. She was unfairly gorgeous, even with little red marks on her face from her snorkel mask.

He turned away so he could look less obsessed (he feared that ship had sailed, pun not intended), taking a swig from the water bottle in his hand. That reminded him, had Penelope drunk enough today? He should check.

Colin, chill.

He needed to give her space. There were fourteen thousand Bridgertons on this boat and so far she’d spent nearly all her time with him. He cursed his big family again and tried to think of something worthwhile to do that didn’t involve her (there was nothing).

“-actually Colin was going to show me the fish we saw…?” Penelope was saying, and Colin whipped back around like a border collie at the sound of his name.

Eloise looked insultingly confused, staring at her brother and then back at Penelope.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. I know you want to be polite, but you don’t have to endure fish chat with Colin.”

Colin glared at his currently least-favourite sister and noticed Penelope smothering a smile.

“No, it’s okay. I want to.” She laid a hand on El’s arm, “I’ll tell you if I need rescuing,” she added, shooting a wink at Colin, causing him to immediately die.

Eloise looked like she was worried about the mental competence of her new friend but nodded anyway, narrowing her eyes at the two of them.

“I fear you may both be freaks,” she mused before walking away and Penelope laughed. She looked at him and shrugged.

“I mean she’s not wrong as far as I'm concerned,” she smirked and Colin…Colin was going to need a minute. A wink and what he was pretty sure was a sexual innuendo. His ears were ringing.

He tried to remember how to speak as she walked back over to him, having put on some kind of semi-see-through coverup that was covering enough for him to be able to think straight but also not enough for him to be able to see straight…it was complicated.

“So…fishies?” she prompted and he nodded, remembering how to think finally. He led her over to a laminated table at the other end of the cabin which contained a detailed array of fish species in the area. Sliding in the booth behind the table, he gestured for her to sit too, the air cool and quiet below deck. She shuffled in next to him and he clenched his fists to stop from pulling her closer. It was just them in this section, after all. Everyone else was either swimming or sunbathing on the deck.

But no.

He would not be caught about to climb on her again. He had more self-control than that. He usually did, anyway.

Penelope was looking over the table carefully, pretty fingers tracing the illustrations as she followed with her eyes.

“Ooh!” she said suddenly, pointing to one. “We saw that one!” she said excitedly and he grinned. Why was everything about a hundred times more fun with her? No one had been this excited about the fish table since…ever, really.

He inspected it and nodded.

“Yeah, we did.”

“Western king wrasse,” she read slowly, squinting at the small print under the picture.

“They’re related to parrotfish,” Colin elaborated, “You can hear them munching on the coral sometimes underwater,” he added and Penelope widened her eyes.

“Really? That’s so cool,” she said, and she meant it, he could tell. He felt himself warm at the prospect of having someone to share some of this knowledge with. He studied the chart for a moment before pointing to a green fish a few pictures down.

“We saw this one, too,” he murmured, and gulped as she leaned closer to see.

“Senator wrasse,” she read. “It’s so pretty,” she mused and it took everything in him not to brush her hair back and tell her that she was, like the lamest romcom protagonist in the world. Instead, he focused on the fish. It was pretty, he’d always thought so.

“They look like Toucans,” he mused with a smile and she looked at him strangely.

“I mean, you said they’re like parrot fish, right, so I guess…?” she said and he laughed.

“No, Toucan the icypole. Man, I haven’t thought of those in years. I wonder if you can still get them…”

“Icypole…” she pursed her lips adorably as he remembered that wasn’t a universal expression.

“Ice lolly,” he prompted and she nodded her head understanding. Then she looked at the drawing again. “They look like this fish?”

He laughed.

“Kind of, the colours. Like the parts where the colours join together, just reminds me…”

Penelope was nodding, surprisingly.

“Oh, yes, I get you. Like how some pinks are very specifically the shade of a strawberry milkshake…”

Colin stared at her, mouth open.

“Yes, exactly like that. I have always said that!" Penelope laughed and he did too. It shouldn’t be so easy, he marvelled. It never had been before.

They sat like that for some time, pointing at fish and fondly bickering over what they had and not seen. Colin’s cheeks hurt from smiling, and they wriggled closer like magnets until she was practically in his lap and he could smell her salty hair. Still, though, he didn’t touch her. He was quite proud of himself (he did not think he would be able to stop once he started).

So it made him take a sudden inhale when he felt her small palm on his thigh through his shorts. He looked at her, the air instantly thicker.

What had he decided about that thing again? Or something?

Colin’s brain was gone right now, leaving up a sign that it would be back later. Her eyes were wide and pretty, pupils big in her pools of irises. How insane that he had been staring into her eyes his whole life without knowing, nearly identical to the water they floated in.

His eyes darted down to her lips as her hands slowly slid up his leg. God, he wanted her. There was a reason why he shouldn’t kiss her, but he couldn’t remember what it was right now. Not when she was touching him like that, sending fire up straight into his belly (and cock).

He was getting harder by the second, and he glanced down, inhaling sharply when he saw how close she was getting to where he needed her. If she touched him, he wasn’t sure he’d survive. He might just die. Maybe that was okay. So long as she actually reached him before he expired…

“Bombie contest!”

“Thanks!” The word, snapped, was out of his mouth so fast it made Pen bite her lip to stop from laughing as she carefully removed her hand from his leg under the cover of the table.

At the other end of the cabin, Ben was looking half offended and half amused.

“Cool…I’ll see you out there,” he grinned and Colin watched him leave, cheeks burning with frustration and embarrassment.

Pen looked sheepish.

“Sorry,” she murmured and he immediately melted, all tension dissolving as he watched the way her lips pursed adorably.

“Don’t be,” he sighed, smiling tiredly. How could I be mad about anything, ever? Who could have a bad day around this girl?

There was a pause.

“What is a bombie?” Penelope asked curiously and Colin laughed.

“It’s basically just jumping off things to make the biggest splash you can.”

Penelope nodded solemnly.

“I see. And the thing you’re jumping off in this instance is the boat?”

“Yes, but you can jump off anything, so long as you’ve got clearance and deep enough water. But you have to be careful of snags in the river. Most of us learnt jetty jumping in school…” he trailed off as Penelope’s face became confused again.

“Sorry,” he apologised, telling himself to slow down. “In town there’s the big jetty…the pier?” Pen nodded. “Well the locals jump off that one quite a lot. Our teachers would even take us to do it on hot days.” He grinned as he remembered. He supposed it was pretty unusual, especially judging from Penelope’s face.

“Your teachers take you to jump off a pier?”

“I mean it’s called jetty jumping, but yeah,” he corrected her with a grin. “Anything counts as physical education if you squint around here.”

Pen laughed.

“Well, if you live close enough to the beach, why not?”

“Exactly,” Colin agreed.

“So, shall we? I assume you have a title to defend?”

Stupidly, Colin felt his chest puff out. He did actually. And he was no longer hard, which was a huge plus.

“I do,” he nodded solemnly, “And we need to punish these numpties for their awful timing.”

Penelope narrowed her eyes and nodded in agreement.

“Yes, we do, they are-” she looked unsure, “-numpties,” she finished, smiling uncertainly at Colin, and he felt his heart turn to liquid.

𓇼

Colin leant against the railing of the boat while Ant laid out the ground rules for the bombie competition. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard before. No jumping on top of anyone else. No jumping from anywhere other than the designated bombie spot. No “assists”.

He watched Pen listen earnestly, and decided maybe he could let one of his inferior siblings win for once. Then he could make sure Penelope didn’t injure herself or that her top didn’t come off or something. Or if it did, make sure no one else would see. She was back in her bathing suit again and Colin was not confident in its ability to hold together under the siege of a full-blown bombie comp. Normally he would be thrilled, but there were about fifty people too many around for him to enjoy it.

Anyway, he was being a creep. Maybe. He wasn’t sure.

Ant was calling his name.

“Colin, can you hear me? Are you listening?" Colin sighed and grumbled in response.

“Then what did I just say?” Ant demanded.

Colin narrowed his eyes.

“That any jumps out of the batting order won’t be counted?” he guessed and Ant rolled his eyes.

“No, well, I mean yes, there’s that too. But I said that since you’re the reigning champ you’re up first.”

“Of course,” Colin nodded, it was standard terms, after all. He really couldn’t care less about the competition, which was wildly out of character. He just wanted to wrap up the group activities as soon as possible. He started making his way to the designated jump spot, a gap in the railing on the upper deck. It was about three metres between the deck and the water, and he’d done it so many times he could do it with his eyes closed. He wouldn’t, because it was against Anthony’s rules, but he could.

“Wait!” Eloise called out, and Colin frowned, wondering how much hassle it would be to petition that they change their family name to the Interruptertons. “What’s the prize?”

Colin shrugged.

“I don’t know? A six-pack?” he offered half-heartedly and his siblings looked at him with varying levels of confusion and disdain.

“What? Can you at least act like you care?” El snapped, while Gregory shook his head in disappointment. Colin sighed.

“How about the rest of the chilli olives?’ Greg offered and Hy snorted.

“How about something we actually want? Or can’t just buy more of?” she countered and Colin rubbed his forehead tiredly.

“A week from dishes?” Ben piped up, and Daph was already shaking her head.

“Boringggg,”

Colin glanced at Penelope and was happy to see she seemed to be enjoying this at least. He wasn’t.

“How about whoever wins gets to spend the afternoon with Penelope,” Francesca’s quiet voice cut through the group and they all looked at her in surprise. She was normally the least interested in these competitions. Fran was looking at Colin though, a small smile on her face. “If Penelope’s okay with that, of course.” She smiled apologetically at Pen. “I heard Eloise and Greg bickering about who would get to take you to Special Spot, and this way you don’t have to be put in an awkward position.” She winked and Pen smiled back widely.

“Thanks,” she said, laughing, as Colin straightened. They wanted to take Pen to Special Spot? Them? Unfuckinglikely. Suddenly it was imperative that he keep his crown. He ignored Fran’s smirk and the way she exchanged looks with Michaela.

‘That’s not fair!” Eloise protested. “Colin’s already had her all day,” she whined and Colin thought distractedly just how much he wished that was the case.

“So you don’t think you can win?” Colin goaded, not wanting to change the prize when there was every chance he would take it (ugh he wished he would take it-). Eloise narrowed her eyes.

“I know I can, but you have a physical advantage, you giant man baby,” she shot back and Colin didn’t flinch at the insult.

“Okay, well what prize would you be comfortable with me winning, since you’re so certain you’ll lose?” he asked in mock sympathy and watched El turn purple.

“Fine, whatever. But if Penelope ditches us as soon as we get to shore it’s your fault,” she sulked and Colin looked at the woman in question, who was grinning and clearly the furthest thing from deterred by their antics.

“I’ll take that heat,” he smirked and felt tingles up his tummy as Pen bit her lip to stop herself from doing the same.

𓇼

“It’s not that I’m not flattered that everyone wants to take me to Special Spot,” her nose crinkled as she repeated the name uncertainly, “But I don’t understand why we couldn’t all go?”

Penelope was following Colin towards the back of the boat, and he glanced back at her with a grin.

“You’ll see,” he said, knowing he was being annoying but not caring all that much. Seeing the way Penelope’s eyes lit up when she was surprised and awe-struck was fast becoming his favourite thing, and he wanted to inspire as many opportunities for it as possible.

Penelope didn’t say anything, and he wondered if she had already learnt pressing for more information was useless. The bombie contest had gone much as it normally did, except this time he’d had the added experience of seeing Penelope floating through the air towards the water which was…life-changing. They’d had a late lunch and now it was time for him to redeem his prize.

Reaching the back deck once more he was glad to see the kayaks had been taken out and were ready to go. He stopped in front of them before grinning at Pen who had arrived beside him. She looked between the vessels and him.

“We’re going in that?” she asked, eyes wide, half intrigued, half unsure.

“Yep,” he replied cheerily, smiling wide. “Have you used one of these before?”

Penelope shook her head.

“They’re…small,” she finished, looking adorably uncertain. Colin reminded himself that she didn’t grow up with these things like he did. He gently reached for her hand, hoping it wasn’t crossing a line despite them being seconds from tearing each other’s clothes off just yesterday. This felt different, somehow.

But Penelope squeezed his hand back, and he felt just a little bit dizzy.

“They’re really easy to use, I promise. I’ll show you the whole thing,” he reassured her and she looked at him and nodded. She trusted him so much, and she didn’t even know him. Why did it feel like a cat leaving her newborn kittens with him?

A short while later, Colin was floating next to Penelope in his kayak, one hand holding hers steady why she held her paddle awkwardly. She looked like she may smack him by accident at any moment, but he decided it was a risk worth taking if it meant she didn’t feel unsteady while she got her bearings.

He balanced his own across his knees, effortlessly shifting so his kayak didn’t so much as bob while he held hers steady. While she adjusted herself he pressed down and lifted as needed so it remained evenly keeled, somehow able to anticipate each move she made before she did as though she was an extension of himself (he wished she wa-). Finally she seemed comfortable, although was still sitting up very straight while she wielded her paddle like a fighting stick.

“I’m gonna let you go now, k? You right?”

Penelope took a deep breath and nodded, and he gently let her go, careful not to jostle her as he did. She drifted away a little, and part of him wanted to pull her back in and just paddle around with her as close to him as possible. But he didn’t. Because he had self control. Or some shit, he didn’t know.

They spent a few minutes floating there as Colin went over steering, stopping and turning. He laughed as she paddled in a tight circle at one point, her gasps of her own laughter making it even harder for her to gain control. Eventually, though, she straightened up and Colin watched for a moment, making sure she had the hang of it before pulling up alongside her. He glanced across at her and grinned when he saw the amazement with which she watched each paddle slice in the water.

“I’m doing it!” she called excitedly and he beamed at her.

“Yep!” he shouted back, and was impressed with how quickly she had managed to handle the small craft, already making minor adjustments when she swung too far to one side or the other.

They paddled west, Colin guiding them towards the jagged outcrop of rocks ahead of them that stuck out from the mainland. The sun was lower in the sky now, and they headed towards it, its warmth comforting after so much time in the water today. Soon they were skirting the point, the Cape Naturaliste tree a clear marker for where they were headed. He heard Penelope gasp as they passed the large rocky wall and their destination came into view.

In front of them lay a small bay, the furthest side completely sheltered by limestone cliff face. The shore was dotted with large orange, brown and grey boulders, and the ground in between them shone a thousand different colours. The only sign of humans were the well-worn and half-buried wooden pylons that acted as irregular steps out of the steep valley, bush completely covering the surrounding landscape all the way to the edge of the beach. The water was dappled in a million different shades of blue and green, Colin knew from experience due to the variety of reef, weed, sand and rocks underneath.

He backpeddled so he was next to Penelope, her now dry hair blowing gently in the breeze in a way that made him want to brush it off her neck.

“It’s amazing,” she breathed, and he nearly didn’t hear her over the crash of waves on the shore. “The colours…its…” if she finished her sentence, Colin didn’t hear her, just taking in the beauty with fresh eyes. Penelope’s eyes. It was gorgeous.

“The sand…it’s mostly shells,” he informed her, watching reds, greens and purples flash in the late afternoon sun. “And sea glass,” he added. The girls used to collect the glass when they were younger, and now his niblings did the same, little jars of seaglass sitting on windowsills to catch the light.

He watched Penelope’s jaw drop with delight and made a note to take her here when they had more time. For now though, all they had to do was wait. It sometimes took a little while.

In the meantime, he scanned the cliffs, quickly spotting what he was looking for as he heard the accompanying familiar cry. He pointed up at the wall of rock at the white and brown bird perched on a ledge at the top of the cliff, its eerie call echoing through the bay.

“Osprey,” he said simply, and there it was again. That look of complete excitement. Enraptured and curious, engaged and alive. He loved it.

“Woah,” she watched as it spread its wings to take its routine patrol of the area. “It’s big,” she commented as it glided down from its perch gracefully.

Colin nodded. Its call was high-pitched, loud and wild, sending a thrill down his spine every time. It passed over the sand below before circling back over the water, looking for a fish, snake or rodent to eat.

“I can see why this is the special spot,” Penelope grinned, and Colin grinned back, ecstatic.

“Oh, but that’s not why,” he replied, wiggling his eyebrows. He looked around and sure enough, rounding the corner, dorsal fins slid in and out of the water towards them. He nodded in their direction, gently grabbing her kayak and steadying it so she was facing the western point and could see the dolphins coming straight towards them.

Colin heard the slap of Penelope’s hand against her mouth as she muffled a scream, and he chuckled. Like clockwork the pod rounded the corner fully and entered the bay, jumping out of the water smoothly as they searched for fish.

Colin saw Penelope blink back tears and felt a lump in his throat. He looked back at the dolphins, their sleek backs appearing and disappearing in the water. Every now and again one would jump fully out of the water, spinning and flipping so its tail cleared the surface for a moment. Colin held them steady and when the family reached them, instead of watching them part around them like they were rocks, he watched Penelope. She looked from one side of her kayak to the other, not knowing where to look as they slid past them, the sounds of their airholes opening loud and gasping. She gripped her paddle, frozen like she was scared to move, lip in her teeth. He was sure that she was holding her breath. He glanced down to see a mother and baby slide under them, a trail of bubbles left in their wake, and felt teary as well. It was magic. It had always been magic, but with Pen…

She made it real.

In a moment that flickered by in a blink, but also seemed to stretch hours, the mammals were past them, on their way to the next bay where they would fish before turning around and coming back the same way.

“I-,”

Penelope just stared at him, and he swallowed as he saw that tears had indeed fallen, and were sparkling in the sunlight like dewdrops from heaven. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak just yet.

“I don’t know how to thank you,” she finally managed, and Colin could only stare at her in confusion. Thank him? She had saved him. He had life in his veins again, because of her.

𓇼

Colin sprawled on the grass tiredly, muscles deliciously sore and warm. It had been a massive day, and he felt clear, like the sun and salt had scrubbed any worries from his subconscious. Around him, his family sat in groups, open papers of fish and chips between them while the kids squealed and laughed on the nearby playground in the dying light. From where they sat they could watch the sun sink over the horizon, water turning inky as the sun receded.

Uncharacteristically quiet, his siblings murmured to each other, laughing softly and uttering the odd comment as they ate and watched the sun set. Everyone was exhausted, content to enjoy the view, food, and gentle evening air.

Beside him Penelope looked about ready to fall asleep, slowly chewing on her fish and smiling dopily at the sky. He was sure his face looked similar, but it was her making him feel that way, not the sky. Or maybe it was both. What was the difference?

He kept looking between the two, and smiling. Both contained vivid orange, crystal blues and breathtaking beauty. Indistinguishable.

Fuck, he needed to sleep. Maybe that would help.

Penelope gave a surprised gasp and pointed out at the sea.

“Are those…swans?” she asked, mouth hanging open.

Colin followed her finger and nodded. Sure enough two black swans paddled across the bay leisurely, their silhouettes graceful and perfect.

“Yep,” he said simply.

Penelope stared before shaking her head in disbelief.

“Okay,” she said, laughing a little before picking something else out of the pile of fried food in front of her.

“Okay, and what is this?” She held up a ring the size of a saucer and Colin laughed.

“Pineapple fritter,” he answered with a smile. “Try it, it’s good,” he urged, and she looked dubious, but took a bite anyway. She chewed for a moment before looking pleasantly surprised.

“Oh! It is.” She looked impressed. Colin grinned and nodded. Penelope chewed thoughtfully for a minute before swallowing.

“Are you going to get sick of me asking you what everything is every two seconds?” she asked after a moment, and Colin nearly laughed.

“No, I really don’t think I will,” he answered truthfully, and Penelope smiled shyly. He held eye contact with her for a moment before looking away. Before she saw just how much he meant it.

𓇼

Colin trudged up the steps of his family home, tired as shit. It was late, and all hope of drawing Penelope away to a quiet corner once they arrived home was dashed as she was pulled into conversation after conversation with his family, before finally bidding everyone goodnight, clearly exhausted. He hoped he managed to hide his staggering desperation as he said goodnight, quickly getting up to start tidying wine glasses and bottles before he could think too hard about how he had lost more time- precious time- being with Penelope.

Not just in that way, but in general. She was only here for so long and he selfishly and unapologetically wanted every second of her attention, her time, her presence.

He also really wanted her in that way.

He was glad to be so tired, frankly. If he fell straight to sleep he wouldn’t have to think about what the fuck today actually was.

Flashes of red hair and blue water and creamy skin flickered behind his eyelids every time he blinked.

He felt relaxed, yet insanely alert. He felt content, yet invigorated. He felt satisfied, but more horny than he’d ever been in his entire life.

He needed her, he was pretty sure. Which wasn’t ideal. A girl here for a week, that he couldn’t get two seconds alone with. He wanted to rip off his shirt and howl at the moon in frustration. Turns out Colin With A Crush was a tad dramatic.

He paused as he passed her door. It was tempting. To knock. So tempting he had to clench his hands to stop himself. It was crossing a line, one they hadn’t spoken about. It was presumptuous. It was also very likely a bad idea. The things he wanted to do to her were not meant to be done in a place where he couldn’t make her scream without waking up the whole house.

Reluctantly, he kept walking.

He should get a medal for self control, he grumbled internally.

Pushing open his door he sighed, knowing he’d need to rub another one out to have any chance of sleeping, already hard just from the idea of her on the other side of that door.

Penelope was sitting on his bed.

“Hey,” she said softly, and Colin didn’t hesitate, every thought flying out of his head except the one that screamed that she was here, on his bed, for him. He shut the door firmly behind him, striding across the room and scooping her up, making her gasp. He moved her further onto the bed, his mouth finding hers as hers sought his and pressing her back onto his bedspread as he lay on top of her.