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They’ve been together from the start.
They’ve gone from being rivals to being teammates, and from being teammates to being partners.
They fit together like a two-piece jigsaw puzzle.
And because they shared this special connection with each other, it was natural that they sought each other out during their brightest – and darkest – times.
With the defeat against Aoba Johsai heavy on their minds, it felt natural to find comfort within one another.
After the hearty meal Coach Ukai treated them to, everyone went their separate ways. Hinata and Kageyama walked together, the guilt on their shoulders threatening to crush their very beings. They walked in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Both parties were so out of it that neither noticed the crossroads they were supposed to separate at. It was when they made it all the way to Hinata’s house that they both realized their mistake.
His mother was outside, though, ready to greet Hinata. She was going to call out his name when she noticed how dark the atmosphere around them was. The looks on both of the boys’ faces made it clear that they were in tremendous pain, and she welcomed Kageyama in for the night. She called Kageyama’s parents to let them know of the situation, and they gave him permission to stay over. Once she ended the call, she looked over to the two boys, who were sitting on the couch, almost lifeless.
She was worried for the both of them. She didn’t know what was exactly on their minds, or what exactly transpired at their match that made them this way, but she knew for a fact that they needed each other. She watched them grow up together over the past year, and knew that every time they would argue over the smallest things, it was just their way of showing affection.
So what would happen now, now that the life was sucked out of both of them?
“Shouyo, Kageyama,” Hinata’s mother said. “It’s late. Would you like to go rest upstairs now? The spare futon’s in the closet.”
With a silent nod, Hinata stood to set up the guest futon. Kageyama stayed where he was, fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles were a ghostly white.
“Kageyama,” Hinata’s mother said softly. “Treat him gently, okay?”
Kageyama looked at his partner’s mother, confused as to what she meant by that. He replied with a curt “Yes”, and went to find Hinata.
Hinata was sitting on his bed, staring down at his hands. The guest futon was already set up. Kageyama set his things next to the door and shut it quietly. He made his way over to Hinata’s side and sat on the floor, his shoulder brushing Hinata’s leg.
Hinata was shaking.
Kageyama leaned his head onto Hinata’s leg, finding comfort in the heat that emanated from his small body. Hinata was hunched over, face streaked with tears. He heled in his cries, but every now and then there would be a barely audible grunt that would escape his lips. Kageyama let him cry like that a little longer before moving to sit in front of Hinata. He grabbed his arm and pulled him down toward him, letting the force of the action pull them both down and onto the futon. The sheets made a soft thudding sound at the motion, and it wasn’t long before Hinata was clutching onto Kageyama’s shirt with all his might, bawling into his shoulder. Kageyama held him tightly, desperate to keep Hinata from falling to pieces.
It hurt the both of them. It was his toss and his spike that ended that grueling game. It was their set that ended that game.
Kageyama was used to losing. He hated losing, but it was still part of learning. He’s gone through numerous losses in middle school, and he knew just how painful it was to be their set that would cost them the game. Hinata, on the other hand, never before got to experience the pain of watching the ball fall on their side of the net; never before got to experience the pain of being the one that brought the ball to the wall that would inevitably force the ball back onto your part of the court.
It was painful, especially the first time.
Kageyama knew that, so he let Hinata cling to him like a lifeline. Hinata’s warmth was all that was on his mind. Keep him close. Don’t let the warmth fade.
“Ka-Kageyama…” Hinata sobbed. “I-I’m so-sorry” he hiccupped. He repeated those words so many times that Kageyama had to reach up and push Hinata’s face closer to his body in order to make him shut up.
“It’s okay.” Kageyama said hoarsely. “It’s not your fault.”
He remembered what Takeda-senpai had said to them right after the match had ended. How it was okay to lose, and that they had to keep getting up. How there were so many what ifs in every second of the game.
What if he had tossed to someone else instead? What if Hinata was just a little faster?
No, they can’t let themselves be overcome by those kinds of thoughts.
Hinata’s sobbing quieted down a little, but not because he was getting sleepy. He was slowly being mesmerized by the way Kageyama was petting his hair softly. As if he was caring for a fragile animal. The amount of care he put into those soft strokes came noticed by Hinata. He liked the feeling of having someone care for him like this, even though Kageyama was usually an asshole. It was a nice change of pace to see this side of the King of the Court.
He liked the way Kageyama always looked out for him in one way or another. He was always by his side, on and off the court. Hinata nuzzled into the crook of his neck and stayed like that, listening to Kageyama’s fast heartbeat and losing himself in the rise and fall of his body. This was the first time that they ever became as intimate as this, save for those days when one would somehow fall on top of the other during a game. Regardless, it felt so nice to have each other in their arms.
Hinata managed to quiet down after some time, and he lifted his head to look at Kageyama’s face. He had an indescribable expression, but he saw the concern in Kageyama’s eyes. Kageyama reached up to wipe away the remainder of Hinata’s tears, and unconsciously stroked his soft cheeks, suddenly overwhelmed by how much of Hinata was on top of him and in his field of vision.
He didn’t know what came over him. Was it the way Hinata looked so vulnerable? Or was it simply because he was mere inches away from his face? Was it the way Hinata looked like he was desperate for him? Or was he the one desperate for Hinata?
Whatever the reason, Kageyama closed his eyes and tugged Hinata’s face closer and closer, until his lips brushed the smaller boy’s. He pulled away, sneaking a peek at Hinata under his lashes. His eyes were wide with shock at first, and then a flash of longing appeared, and suddenly Hinata’s lips were on his again, desperate for Kageyama.
Hinata moved his arms to either side of Kageyama to help support his weight. Kageyama had one hand on Hinata’s neck, and the other around his waist. He pulled Hinata’s body as close as he could to himself, desperate to feel every inch of his body.
Their kisses were rough and sloppy, but neither of them minded. All that mattered was that the other one was there with him, to share the pain and the guilt of their loss. Their heartbeats were running a mile a minute. The intensity of each other’s desire rose to a fever pitch until they both grew weary, and eventually Hinata had to pull away once and for all. They were both out of breath, the heat of the moment unwavering. When it finally died down, the pain and desperation was replaced with that of weariness and compassion.
“Kageyama...” Hinata said, looking him in the eyes. He was searching for something – anything – that would reveal his feelings.
Kageyama gave Hinata a soft smile - something extremely rare for him. “You know,” he started, thumbing Hinata’s cheek with the hand that was on his neck. “We’ve been calling each other ‘partner’ and all that, but sometimes I wonder if it was possible to become more than that. What came after partner, though?” it was a rhetorical statement, but Hinata answered it nonetheless.
“I don’t think there’s really anything past that.” He said quietly. “Unless you mean that kind of partner…”
They were both silent, Kageyama continuing to thumb Hinata’s cheek while he looked everywhere but at Kageyama.
“I probably wouldn’t mind it.” Kageyama said at last, looking up at the ceiling. “If it meant being with you like this.”
Bewilderment took over Hinata’s features briefly before he laughed for the first time since that morning. Somehow, the pain that was coiled up in his chest vanished suddenly, replaced by Kageyama’s kind words.
Kageyama pushed Hinata off softly, ushering him towards his bed. They needed rest, especially after today’s events. Hinata refused to lay down on the bed though, and instead kept a tight hold on Kageyama’s shirt. It was a notion that Kageyama knew all too well from the small orange-haired boy. He sighed, and lifted the sheet so that they could settle inside it.
Hinata snuggled into Kageyama. “We should shower first, though.” He murmured into Kageyama’s chest. He was tucked perfectly into Kageyama, as if he was supposed to be there, supposed to fit into Kageyama like they were a pair of puzzle pieces.
“Tomorrow.” Kageyama mumbled in reply, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy. They tangled their feet together and, after murmuring a soft ‘goodnight’ to one another, Kageyama kissed the top of Hinata’s head and they drifted off into a good night’s rest.
I’m here. They both thought. I’m here.