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then · spring 2002 · mons, belgium
The flowers in Mons were beginning to bloom.
Namjoon would often watch closely as they drove through Belgium for this meeting or that tutoring session to see if the rows of poppies ever ended. Unfortunately, they did, as soon as they stepped through the gates of the military base. There, it was always dirt, concrete, and gravel. It never differed much from any of the others, though the towns nearby were always diverse.
They had moved in March from the base in Japan and Namjoon tried not to let it get him down. He saw some of these people before when they had large parties in Korea to celebrate. He missed his friends in Korea, but it was okay, he always made new ones. Maybe this time he'd meet someone. Maybe it would be another military kid that he could talk to and make friends with. But it had been a month of rest and touring the country and the base and thus far, there had been no one.
It's always a maybe, but he was okay with maybe because it doesn't mean no.
"Appa, maybe later we can go and see the poppy fields up close. Maybe eomma will be off duty too!" Namjoon suggested eagerly and leaned into the touch when his father ruffled his hair.
His father was tall, and it took quite an angle for Namjoon to look at him. "Maybe. Today's
going to be long, Joon-ah. Maybe whoever watches over you can take you." Two maybes. Two potential yes's.
The base wasn't all that bad, Namjoon knew. Whoever he ended up spending his days with there would probably be an elderly Belgian woman who would make sure to sneak him sweets or those Belgium pancakes he'd been wanting to try since they arrived. Or they could be military personnel who would talk partly in code and be indifferent to him, which meant potential freedom if they happen to be on call and bail suddenly. It wouldn't be the first time. A caretaker was nice to have for guidance and someone to watch over his safety, but it was tiring to sit in a room all day for an entire summer with one person and no particular goal in mind.
Which is why it surprised him when Lee Sun Mi, a Korean wife of one of the soldiers, was his caretaker. She was gentle and kind, knew her place and the information that should not be discussed, and had the ability to leave the base with him.
The month of April in Mons was the happiest he ever had. They ate Belgian waffles and went on picnics. She took him to see movies and taught him how to play different games. Before the end of the month, he was a master in most card games. (So he thought. Never once did it cross his mind that Sun Mi would— god forbid— let him win.)
They went to the poppy fields until the flowers wilted, and that was when things began to change. Namely, the population of children on the base went from one to two.
then · autumn 2002 · mons, belgium
Colonel Jeon was an intimidating Korean man of his father's height and stature, with a long scar along his cheekbone. But held by the large muscles of Colonel Jeon was a bubbling child with wide eyes. Doe eyes. Thus introducing Namjoon to his new friend; Jeon Jeongguk.
Jeongguk was a five-year-old firecracker that was packed with enough smiles and energy to crack even the toughest of generals.
Despite the two-year age difference, they played well together. When Sun Mi would take them into the fields nearby, they would create their own stick villages out of sticks and rocks. Jeongguk was in charge of presenting each home with flowers, while Namjoon acted as the boss of the town. Sun Mi would stand by and watch with a fond expression.
Namjoon never ceased to talk about Jeongguk to his parents, who eventually invite Colonel Jeon and Jeongguk for dinner at their home off-base. This was when Namjoon learned that Jeongguk didn't have an eomma. And that Jeongguk had never watched cartoons.
Namjoon listened closely to his parent's conversation with the Colonel as Jeongguk gasped at the animation on the screen. Jeongguk was enamored with the show, bent forward a little as his eyes were wide with wonder, hands clutching the blanket in his lap tightly.
"My son talks about your son all the time, I can see why. They act well together." He heard his appa say, and the clinking of glasses on the table.
There was a moment's pause before the Colonel answers. "He, Jeongguk, is always raving about him. I'm glad to see him looking up to someone like your son. He always repeats these little phrases in other languages and I laugh because I haven't been able to teach him any new languages but he's suddenly taken an interest in English." There's laughter, mainly from his eomma. Namjoon grins to himself, proud that he's been able to teach Jeongguk little things.
"That's my fault. We spent a lot of time in the states and I'm fluent, so Joon-ah picked up on it quickly. What all does he say?" Namjoon quietly laughs to himself.
"Bee's knees! Joonie, bees knees!
The laughter of their parents is drowned out by Jeongguk's own giggles.
"That rooster is so silly, Joonie-hyung." He giggles and Namjoon laughs at the character running into the fake tunnel. Jeongguk continues to laugh at each of the character's misfortunes and Namjoon finds his excitement cute.
The night goes by quickly and soon Jeongguk falls asleep on the couch. Namjoon covers him up with a blanket and shuts off the television before laying down in the other direction. Namjoon hugs a pillow to his chest, promptly falling asleep as well.
"He's welcome over any time."
"Thank you."
Namjoon hears and feels his body being lifted off of the comfort of their couch, and smells his Dad's cologne.
"M'bye Ggukie." He murmurs tiredly, not aware of the awed coos of his eomma and the rumbling chuckle of his appa. He's back asleep within the second.
then · spring 2003 · mons, belgium
A year passes in Mons, and the poppies are back. Sun Mi still takes them to the fields, though she now brings a novel and trusts them to be careful as they run around. Jeongguk began his homeschooling at the base, much to Namjoon's chagrin during the school year. Namjoon had been introduced to a small class of exchange students in an accelerated course, which his appa says is a great thing. Namjoon thinks so too because both he and Jeongguk are done with their lessons by the time the flowers bloom.
Their first adventure was to a custard shop, where Jeongguk got a rich, chocolatey custard all over his face. Namjoon and Sun Mi giggled along with him as he continued to dig in, regardless of the state of his ice cream on the tip of his nose.
Sometimes, they go to the shops in Belgium, walk the cobblestone streets happily and play in parks. But nothing can beat their time at the poppy fields. Namjoon believes that this is his favorite flower. He loves all of the little bouquets that Jeongguk makes for each of their stick houses.
The days are warm and their friendship grows with every stick village, sleepover, and cartoon they watch. Everything is just as it should be, he thinks.
It doesn't take much time before the calm waters are disrupted by a ripple.
"Gguk, smile, why are you sad?" Namjoon tries to get the younger to cheer up. They had the entire day to hang out and watch cartoons because Namjoon's eomma was off duty. But Jeongguk had shown up with a frown on his face and, when Colonel Jeon left, his eomma was looking at Jeongguk with a sad expression. "Why don't we watch some movies?" Namjoon suggests, and Jeongguk agrees quietly.
Through the entirety of the movie, Jeongguk said nothing, a far cry different than the Jeongguk who had just last week talked through the whole movie. Namjoon throws little puffs of popcorn at him, but Jeongguk just picks them up and eats them. Every once in a while Namjoon will make a joke about the movie and Jeongguk just nods along like he hears him but isn't really listening. It's all too serious for a six-year-old to be.
Namjoon decides that it's better to just wait it out because Jeongguk can always tell him if he wants to. Afterward, when Namjoon's eomma walks out to tend to the flowerbeds, Jeongguk speaks up quietly.
"How many times have you moved, hyung?" For the now eight-year-old, he's a little bit shocked and somewhat nervous once he hears the question. Not because of the content of the question but because of the serious 'hyung' that took the place of his normal 'Joonie'.
Reluctantly, he answers. "Three times. Why, Gguk-ah?" Naturally, he has an idea of why Jeongguk is asking. Every military kid knows what a question like this means.
Jeongguk, his firecracker and source of joy, cries. They aren't crocodile tears or tired wailings, but genuine tears of sadness that Namjoon never wants to see again. "I don't want to go to somewhere else, Joonie. No one ever wants to be my friend in different countries and they're scary. I don't want to move again." Namjoon is shocked. He remembers being moved around often, but never once a year. Usually, it was two at the very minimum.
"Do you know where you're going?" Namjoon asks gently, once the younger calms down. Jeongguk is resting against him, while Namjoon keeps his arm around the younger's shoulder.
Jeongguk coughs, still a little worked up. "China." Namjoon perks up a bit.
"Hey, I've got a friend there. His name is Jackson, his parents work at the base. Just ask for Mrs. Wang sometimes, she should let you call!" Namjoon gives him a small smile, rubbing the back of the younger. "It's not so bad there Ggukie. It's very pretty too." Namjoon just wants to comfort his dongsaeng, wants to see him smile again instead of looking so sad. Realistically, he never wants Jeongguk to leave. But if Jeongguk doesn't leave, then Namjoon will have to eventually, and he knows that they can't stay together all of the time.
Jeongguk pulls up his knees to his chest. "I don't wanna leave you, you're my best friend." That hurts. The statement makes him ache just a little bit more because Jeongguk was his best friend too.
"Maybe we'll see each other again. We'll keep talking to each other and then one day we'll meet each other again." There, a maybe. A potential promise.
"Yeah, maybe."
After that day, the ripples continue. Some days they're happily playing and Jeongguk forgets about the impending date. Other times, Jeongguk is unusually quiet and Sun Mi shakes her head sadly.
It's the life of a military kid— a military brat. The word kid doesn't describe the life of a child that is in a military family. During the bad days, Jeongguk doesn't look like a child, and it makes Namjoon sad.
(Future Namjoon still thinks that the sadness he saw from Jeongguk on those days were devastating.)
"Jeonggukie, let's make a stick castle this time!" Namjoon would say when Jeongguk looked a little too sad while placing his bouquets.
"Jeonggukie, Sun Mi said that we can go get ice cream at that custard shop. Whatever flavor you want!" Namjoon would say when Jeongguk looked put out during their lunch.
"Jeonggukie, I have a new cartoon!" Namjoon would say when Jeongguk stopped smiling during their sleepover.
Namjoon's parents, Sun Mi, and most importantly, Namjoon try to make the majority of Jeongguk's days happy and eventful, to make him forget about having to move. It works for the most part, he thinks.
Colonel Jeon comes over for dinner one night, and Jeongguk looks happier than normal. They play in the yard while the parents talk, and Jeongguk busies himself with catching a firefly for Namjoon while Namjoon eavesdrops.
"I want to thank your family for being so kind and accepting to Jeongguk and I. I'm glad that Jeongguk was able to meet Namjoon, he's been a great role model for Jeongguk." Namjoon wishes that he could smile at that, but he knows that this means that the end is getting close. Namjoon does laugh as Jeongguk jumps to catch one of the fireflies and then brings it back for Namjoon to see.
"Joonie, this is the bee's knees." He giggles and Namjoon laughs as well. Then, quietly. "Maybe there will be fireflies there too." Jeongguk lets it go and then runs to catch another.
Maybe there will be. Namjoon hopes so, just for Jeongguk.
then · fall 2003 · mons, belgium
They see the Jeon's small home for the first time when they help them pack their things. It's small and plain, but Jeongguk seems happy to show him around even if it is the last time he'll ever see it. Namjoon and Jeongguk spend more time playing with the three action figures that Jeongguk has than actually packing, but none of the parents stop them.
Namjoon's eomma works around them, packing up bedding and a couple of things while they make up a scene about superheroes.
Jeongguk looks up finally when Colonel Jeon shows up in the door.
"Hey, bud. Are you ready?" Namjoon's heart drops. He's not even ready.
Jeongguk shakes his head, looking down at the superheroes sadly. Namjoon stands up and stands beside his parents, who are looking at them sadly.
Colonel Jeon kneels next to Jeongguk and whispers incomprehensibly. Jeongguk nods and uses his appa's knee to stand himself up.
To Namjoon's surprise, Jeongguk goes to Namjoon's appa first and wraps his arms around the man's legs in a hug. "Thank you."
Namjoon's eomma is already kneeling, glassy-eyed on the floor waiting with her arms open. Jeongguk flings himself into her arms and Namjoon can't make out his words from where they're murmured into her shoulder. She places a hand on the side of his face and smiles sadly before pressing a kiss on his forehead.
Namjoon feels like he might cry when Jeongguk runs up and throws his arms around Namjoon's shoulders to pull him down in a hug. Namjoon squeezes just as tightly as Jeongguk does. "I saved the best for last. You're the bee's knees Joonie." It is then that he feels the wetness on his shirt and the shaking of the younger's shoulders, and he aches. "I love you Joonie, maybe I'll see you again." He murmurs into the elder's shoulder, and Namjoon hugs him tighter.
Maybe. A potential yes. He's okay with maybe because it doesn't mean no.