Chapter Text
Yoru never feels more alive than when he's dancing.
Some things come close: being in Amran’s passionate embrace, breathless ecstasy sending shivers down his spine; looking up at the sky on clear, moonless nights and gazing in awe at an infinitely vast sea of glittering stars; laughing with full-bellied delight until tears stream down his face at an unexpected joke; running through crowded streets, taking in the rich smells and the vibrant colours of the market one after the other as he dashes past—just to name a few. When he dances, however, it’s like all these moments come together inside him and combine into feelings he could never put into words.
When he dances, passion flows through his veins like blood, awe lightens his steps as though he’s moving over clouds, joy bubbles up from within, uncontainable in the way it moves him, and the vibrancy of the world around him shines like spotlights, almost blinding in their brilliance.
When he dances, he can take the feelings buried deep inside himself and bring them out for others to see, unfurling them like wings behind his back as he embodies the emotions brought out by music both within and outside of his soul, touching the hearts of those around him or even simply rekindling his own.
When he dances, he is in complete control of his body, yet also completely at its mercy. He has no choice but to listen if, at the time of performing, his limbs feel like a move different to the one he’d planned would better suit the moment, and he knows himself well enough to be fully confident in its execution no matter what way he ends up going with it. It’s freeing, the way he can just let go and be fully present in each second, reveling in the exhilaration of blood rushing through his veins as everything else falls away. There’s nothing in the world quite like it.
That’s why, for all the things Amran has given him since the two's fateful reunion, Yoru is most grateful for having been given back his will to dance.
Of course, Amran only gave him the opportunity to dance again —the will had always been inside him, just waiting for a chance to emerge once more— but for a long after he'd been kicked out of the circus Yoru really thought he'd lost his passion for good. Maybe he'd begun losing it even before then, back when it had been tainted by greed and deception, but he never noticed it's decline until it all came crumbling down and buried him.
Regardless of how or when the lightness in his feet had turned to chains around his ankles, Yoru had tried bearing their weight until it all became too much and he swore to himself that he would never try again. The man Amran had bought from that shop had been one crushed by the weight of his failures, one who felt unworthy to be seen, one who was merely the smouldering remains of the dazzling blaze he used to be. And still, through sheer dogged determination and despite a few missteps Amran had managed to ignite Yoru’s spark once more.
It is thanks to that support and that opportunity that Yoru can cast off his shackles and stand on a stage again, as beaming and brilliant as he was always meant to be, unafraid of letting the past define the man he is now.
So now, when Yoru dances he does so freely and fully, the soft jingling of love ringing out with each one of his steps, and when he ends his performance, chest heaving as he draws breath and beads of sweat run down his face, he turns his gaze beyond the crowd of smiles that fill his heart with purpose and meets eyes with a lionhearted man that watches his every move with adoration, knowing that there is nothing in the world that can bring him down again, not when that golden pillar of support is standing by him through it all.
“You were beautiful,” Amran’s eyes sparkle when he speaks to him after the show, having found time to duck away from the wedding crowd and congratulate him in the little closed-off area behind the stage.
“You say that every time,” Yoru laughs as he tucks a stray strand of hair behind his ear, not sure if the flush in his face is from the compliment or if he’s still running a little hot from the performance.
“Because it’s true every time,” Amran smiles, then leans closer, reaching out to cup the back of Yoru’s damp neck, and Yoru closes the remaining distance between them to bring their lips together into a kiss that feels more reinvigorating than a cool glass of water.
Just as they begin forgetting themselves and hands turn to wandering under fabric, the rustling sound of a curtain and a familiar voice interrupts their rendezvous.
“Hey, Amran, the caterers wanted to—” Havil stops mid-step, staring at both of them as the unexpected surprise melts off his face and a teasing smile makes its way to his lips, “Oh, was I interrupting? Don’t mind me, I’ll wait until you two are done.”
Amran rights himself and smooths out his clothes, not even trying to hide his irritation, and Yoru tries not to laugh as he does the same, caught between being embarrassed and finding the situation quite funny. Luckily Havil was the one to walk in on them, Yoru doesn’t think he’d be quite as calm if it had been any of the guests.
“Wonderful performance, as always,” Havil adds as he shoots another smile Yoru’s way.
“Thank you,” Yoru smiles back.
“Who’s looking for me?” Amran interrupts the interaction, and though he tries to keep the grumble out of his voice, it is plain enough for all parties present to recognise.
“The caterers,” Havil steps aside to let him pass.
“Very well,” Amran takes a quick breath, getting back to his professional self in a mere moment, then turns to look at Yoru one last time. “See you later.”
Yoru nods and watches the two men walk away, not missing the roll of Havil’s eyes as he nudges Amran in the ribs nor the way Amran swats him away in response.
He stays backstage for a few more moments to gather himself, coming down from both the rush of the performance as well as the kiss. As he does so, he can’t help but smile and put a hand over his beating heart.
Things had truly changed so much ever since he came here. Not only can he do the thing he loves most, he has so many people to love and care for, who love and care for him in return in a way he could only imagine back when he was with the circus—free from transactions and deceptions, simple and pure in the way it is freely given and received.
Outside, he hears Lailah and Nina looking for him, no doubt wanting to share one of the desserts they nicked from the dinner spread, and doesn’t even hesitate before rushing out to catch up with them.
He loves how alive he feels even now, how unbelievably full his heart is, as though it could burst right out of his chest.