Work Text:
“I'm gonna hit you”
Buck felt the words leaving his lips without realizing. He was feeling a lot of things from the moment Eddie appeared, stumbling, wet and filthy.
The heart wrenching relief when he saw Eddie emerging alive from his ordeal got mixed with anger and frustration for what he had done.
“How could you do something like this?” Buck asked when Eddie was safely in one of the ambulance cars.
“I had to save that kid. If I didn’t cut my line, you would have gotten me out and he would have stayed there all alone.”
“Yeah and instead you had a whole well collapsed on you trapping you 40 feet deep.”
“That wasn’t part of my plan. But I got out, so all's well that ends well.”
“I don’t want to hear the word well, ever again. Don’t you ever pull a stunt like this again. You have a kid to come home to. I don’t want to be the one who has to tell him he lost his father too.”
“I know,” Eddie said, quietly. “He gave me the strength to keep swimming. When I thought I’m gonna die down there, all I could think about was the people I would leave behind. Christopher… and you. All of you,” he added quickly. “What happened to your hand?”
Buck looked down on his hand, his nails were black and broken bloody.
“I… You were gone. You were down there and I thought I lost you….”
“He tried to dig you out with his bare hands,” Hen got inside the ambulance and the doors closed behind her. “You gave us all the fright, Diaz. But Buck was beyond himself.”
Buck gave her a glare which she reciprocated with a knowing grin but said nothing more, making herself busy with checking Eddie’s vitals.
“Seriously, it’s all fine, Buck. I’m fine, we are fine and I would never miss Christopher’s show and tell. But I had to save that kid.”
“Cutting your line was a dumb move, Diaz.” Hen said. “Very heroic, but still dumb. Bobby will have your hide for that.”
Eddie sighed, closing his eyes. He was beyond exhausted. But this near-death experience gave him a much needed clarity of what he wants from his life. Or more precisely, who he wants. Chris and Buck were with him down there, giving him the strength he needed to survive.
They were his family, both of them. Eddie didn’t know when it happened, but somehow Buck became so much more than a friend.
Eddie had always felt this strange affinity pulling him towards Buck, even from his first days. There was something different about the man, he couldn’t put his finger on it. And then he slowly became his friend, and by the end of his probation, his best friend.
Eddie never let himself think too hard about his feelings for Buck. He had learned early in his life that there were things that were strictly off limit. Growing up in El Paso he witnessed first-hand what happened to those who did not stay in their lane. So he did what he had to, got together with Shannon and enlisted when he got the chance.
It was expected of him, and it was the right thing to do. He never questioned any of those things before meeting Buck.
“Eddie, are you alright? Can you hear me?”
Hen’s concerned voice broke through his musings and got his mind back into the moving ambulance.
“Yes, sure. Sorry, I zoned out. It was a long day.”
“No shit,” Buck said with a dry chuckle. “Try not passing out before we can get you to the hospital, okay? You gave us enough of a fright to last a lifetime.”
The doctors insisted on keeping Eddie in for the night, however he protested.
“I”m gonna call Carla and get her to bring Christopher in so he can see you. Then I will take him home and stay over for the night. You just concentrate on getting better.”
Eddie could feel his throat closing and he swallowed quickly before finding his voice again.
“Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me,” Buck smiled. “I love spending time with the little guy. We are best pals.”
And if there were tears in Eddie’s eyes, well everybody could attribute that to the day he had.
Christopher arrived teary eyed and frightened, clinging to Carla with one hand.
“Daddy!”
“Hey, little guy,” Eddie smiled and reached out for his son, who ran to him, climbing up on his bed to wrap his little arms around him.
“What happened?” Chris asked.
“There was a little boy stuck at the bottom of a well. We got him out. That’s what matters.”
“Your daddy was being a hero, just like he always is,” Buck said with a smile.
“Of course he is. He is my hero,” Chris hugged his father tightly, then looked back to Buck. “Just like you, Buck. You are both my favorite superheroes.”
Something warm settled in Eddie’s chest seeing how Christopher looked up to Buck. He already treated Buck as family, making it so much easier for Eddie to start accepting his feelings for the man.
“Then you will be happy to hear that Buck will take you home tonight and put you to bed,” Eddie said, caressing his boy’s hair. “And he will take you to school tomorrow morning.”
Christopher looked up at him with worry. Boy, he was a smart one, this kid.
“You are not coming?”
“I will pick you up from school tomorrow. I’m afraid I have to spend the night here, so they can be certain there is nothing wrong.”
Christopher was still concerned, so Buck pulled out the big guns.
“Just imagine all the fun we'll have tonight. And I will make us a proper breakfast in the morning, we all know your dad is a fire hazard in the kitchen.”
“Hey!” Eddie exclaimed indignantly. Even though Buck wasn’t wrong.
That finally made the kid laugh as he climbed down from the hospital bed.
“Now, let’s give your daddy some peace and quiet, okay buttercup? Ready to go home?”
“Yesss. Good night, daddy!”
When Eddie was left alone he slumped back into the pillows behind him. It’s true what they say about near-death experiences, they really do give one perspective to re-evaluate the important things in life.
Eddie was aware of his not-so-platonic feelings for Buck for a while, but he was so afraid. Afraid of messing up their friendship, afraid of admitting his feelings to Buck just to be let down by the other man.
And of course, he was still afraid to act on his feelings for another man, something he had never dared to do before. El Paso wasn’t a safe space for that, and after moving to LA, he was so busy with work and caring for Christopher he didn’t really have time for anything like that.
But when he was down in that well, certain that he was gonna die, he could only think about his boys, Christopher and Buck, and how he would die before ever admitting his feelings for the man. And in their line of work there weren't a lot of second chances.
Being a firefighter really meant taking the phrase “seize the day’” very literally.
Eddie decided to talk to Buck next time he had the chance.
That time came faster than he had expected, after getting the green light from the doctors the next day, he swung by his house to get a proper shower and some clean clothes.
As he put his duffel down in the doorway he could hear the TV on in the living room. That was weird. Nobody should be at home at this time.
As he rounded the corner, he stopped in his tracks, staring at the scene before him.
Buck was passed out on his couch, the remote still in his hand, now hanging down on his side. He looked so peaceful, Eddie didn’t have the heart to disturb him.
He couldn’t stop himself from taking a picture though, feeling like a huge creep while doing it, but doing it anyway.
But before he could tip-toe his way into the bathroom, Buck jolted awake, his eyes automatically landing on Eddie.
“Hi,” he smiled awkwardly as he slowly pushed himself into a sitting position. “You are home early.”
“They released me after the morning rounds and I had enough of that place. Don’t you have a shift today?”
“Not until later. I’m sorry, I was planning on getting out of your hair before you got back, your couch is just really comfortable.”
Eddie smiled, Buck was adorable when he was all sleep-ruffled and soft.
“Don’t worry about it, it’s the least I can do after you looked after Christopher. How was your evening?”
“Awesome. I made spaghetti with meatballs, we played a lot of video games, and he was out like a light soon enough. And you don’t have to thank me. Spending time with Chris is the opposite of a hardship. And I filled up your fridge. Honestly, it wouldn’t kill you to have some fresh produce in there sometimes.”
“You didn’t have to do that. Here, let me pay you back,” Eddie was reaching for his wallet, but Buck interrupted him.
“Keep your money, Eddie. You have enough to spend it on, this was nothing.”
Eddie kept staring at Buck, and he could feel something shift inside him. He wanted this. He wanted to come home to find Buck on the couch, he wanted to argue about groceries, and other domestic bullshit. He wanted to call him his family even more than he already was.
So he took a deep breath and sat down next to Buck.
“I wanted to talk to you about something,” he started, searching for the right words.
“I’m listening.”
“When I was down in that well, when it collapsed on top of me, I was pretty sure I would not make it. I don’t need to explain a near-death experience to you, we both had a handful of those. But when I thought I was dying, all I could think about was Christopher… and you. How I would leave you two behind. My boys. And then when I was close to drowning, you two had got me going on. Gave me strength when I thought I had none left, powering through to make it back to you. You two are my family, Buck. You and Christopher.”
Buck looked up at him, tears shining in his eyes. “I went ballistic when I thought I lost you. I was yelling at everyone, trying to dig you out with my bare hands. I can’t imagine a life without you in it. Or Christopher.”
“Then don’t. I don’t know what this would mean for us, for work and all. But I want you.”
Buck twisted his fingers into Eddie’s shirt and pulled him in. “I had wanted you from the day I had met you. There had been some misplaced jealousy but soon I realized it was just my huge ass crush talking. I had been flirting with you ever since. But I thought you were straight.”
“Yeah, no. I’m pretty sure I’m bi. Never really had the opportunity to explore that, but it’s a very solid guess.”
“Same here,” Buck smiled at him radiantly. “Even though I had experimented with it a couple years ago. Well, Buck 1.0 had. So I’m very bi. And super into you, I wanted to do this for years.”
And so he pulled Eddie to himself to crash their lips together for a long overdue kiss.