Work Text:
Seoul, 15th October
Dear mother,
I’m sorry, I haven’t written to you for ages, but I’ve been really busy as of lately. Remember that production company I told you about last time? Namjoon and I got ourselves a very good deal with them! I'm very excited. Sometimes I work with other producers, but mostly I keep writing music by myself. Depends on what the client wishes.
But not everything’s going great: lately, I’ve been stuck. I haven't had any ideas. And worse, I haven’t felt satisfied with my songs even though everyone says they’re good. It is as if there’s no soul in the lyrics I write; as if my hands belong to a robot.
Hopefully, this will be only a temporary thing. Other than that, I’m doing well and I’ve met great people because of work. How are you doing, though? I hope everything is great and that your flowers keep getting prettier as days pass by.
Talk to you soon,
Your favorite son,
Yoongi
P.s: What about my potential ‘partners’? Have you now realized it’s hard to find someone as awesome as your son? Are you quitting the task?
Yoongi sat in the usual spot at his favorite coffee-bakery shop. The rays of sunshine cracking through the window dazzled him. The sun shined bright early in the morning and the sky was painted with a lovely and peaceful crystal blue. He still had around 30 minutes before going to the studio, so he took the time to observe what was happening around him: the lovely young couple sharing pancakes and coffee; Jihyun, his favorite baker, smiling lovingly at the costumers; zombie like people drinking their coffee; the same old man reading the day’s newspaper; it felt like home. The place was warm, its furniture resembling a european rustic café. But it too failed to give him the inspiration he needed for his next project. You see, the thing is, Yoongi had become quite a popular songwriter, and now plenty of artists and producers wished to work with him. The worst part was that he was uninspired. In his hands, he held his mother's reply to his letter. Nothing else to do, he opened the letter and began to read it.
--
Daegu, 18th October
Dear son,
Thank you for your latest letter. I'm glad to hear that everything is going well! I knew you and Joonie would do great! I’m so proud of you both, my sweet suga. I know you don’t like that nickname, but I will keep calling you that till the day I die.
About the blank, you should pray to the old gods for a muse, the savior of poets. I’m sure it’s just a temporary thing.
As for myself, I’ve been doing very well, thank you. My flower shop is getting a hit in the town. You have to come by and visit it. I got new Sakura flowers and, darling, couples love them.
About your ‘dates’, I may have found a great match for you. I met this fair lady few weeks ago at the flower shop. She wanted a simple bouquet of yellow roses but soon we found ourselves chatting for a little while about random daily life things. We actually became friends since that day. Misses Jung passes by the shop every day on her way to work. When I received the letter, she saw it and then I explained to her that it is our favorite type of communication. She found it endearing and so sweet. I, of course, began talking about my suga and his songwriter skills. I then quickly read the letter. I sighed at the last past, to be honest. Yes, it is true. I was almost quitting this arranged marriage thing. I told her about it and she told me she had a lovely son that wouldn’t mind giving a try and meeting you. Of course, I was cautious so I wanted to know more about him. Well, since I know you don’t like to know their names till you meet them, and to get you excited, I can say that he is a dancer, very respected at his hometown, and frequently undergoes dance competitions either solo or with his dance crew. He is very passionate about dancing and lives in Seoul too. He is a tad taller than you, brown lovely eyes, sharp features, athletic body (of course) and a tan sun-kissed skin. I met him the other day, and, boy isn’t he lovely?! This boy, he is so bright like the sun and funny and sweet. Oh Yoongi, you need someone like him.
Write to me soon so we can arrange a meeting, okay?
I have got a good feeling about this one, Yoongi.
With love,
Your fabulous mama
--
“Well, shit.” His phone began ringing which startled Yoongi. He didn’t know if he suddenly felt like that because of the letter or because of the phone call. He didn’t even bother to check the call’s ID.
“Hey, yo, what’s up?” Namjoon’s voice came from the other side of the phone.
“Huh okay, I guess. I got news for you, dude.”
“Dude, first, you gotta come to the studio ASAP. I just came up with this awesome dope sound and I kid you not it’s an eargasm experience!”
“You always say that. Anyway, I will be there in about 30 minutes. Then we talk.”
“Yeah, fucker. See you soon.”
Yoongi had no one else to talk to about the arranged marriage thing but Namjoon, his best friend and music partner. You might be wondering, why and how did Yoongi get himself in this situation? Well, number one reason: his mother and her nagging. It all started few years ago when she said he should go on dates. Yoongi, though, was not a relationship guy himself and he did not want to waste his time meeting people. Nah, he was happy with his books and pens. His mother tried setting up dates but Yoongi always skipped them. He thought the nagging would stop when he came out as homosexual to his mother, but he was mistaken because she got excited about getting a son-in-law. Yoongi was fed up with the dates, with his mother pissing him off. He had enough. That’s when he came up with the most ridiculous idea he ever had in his short life. What about an arranged marriage? He had asked. Not that he wanted such thing but the idea kept his mother busy while she was searching for her son’s perfect match. Well, indeed, in the two years that followed the agreement, his mother found more than five “perfect matches” for her son. Yoongi didn’t like any of them. He didn’t even bother meeting three of them. He started to think maybe his mother was the worst matchmaker ever. Or he was just not meant to fall in love. He hadn't fallen in love with anyone yet, but it will eventually happen one day, right?
He would be lying if he said the letter wasn’t captivating. The boy his mother described seemed to be an interesting guy. But that’s the thing. They all did (at first). And in the end, Yoongi would just send them away and his mother would fall into despair while looking again for a perfect match. Yoongi growled. Another fail.
Little did he know that his mother was actually quite fabulous and that one day he would not stop her from calling him Suga. But that’s another tale to talk about later.
He decided he needed a second coffee before heading to the studio. He joined the line of people waiting to order. In front of him, a taller boy with earphones on was humming to a song. Curious, he leaned closer to listen better until he realized what song the boy was humming. It was a song Yoongi wrote years ago. One of his most proud works yet it wasn’t very acknowledged by the public. Yoongi found himself smiling. After a while, the boy ordered a french vanilla coffee. His voice was smooth. Yoongi wondered how he would look like from the front. The boy turned around and almost bumped his coffee over Yoongi’s chest.
“Ah, I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” The boy bowed immediately.
“Nothing happened. No need to apologize.”
The other boy smiled and put a stray of his hair behind his ear. The boy apologized again and quickly left the shop. Damn, what a dashing smile he had! Not that Yoongi thought of that. No, obviously not. He also did not forget to buy the coffee nor follow the boy because something about his smile made Yoongi’s heart weak. Not at all.
The boy was actually quite fast, once in a while bouncing while walking. He looked happy and excited. He then turned left and entered the park Yoongi loved so much. They crossed the park. Then, the boy turned left again, went down the street and turned right until he stepped inside an old building. Yoongi decided to get in, having no idea what he was getting himself into but something told him he was safe.
In front of him was the main desk and in its left a staircase. Yoongi caught the glimpse of the boy moving upstairs. Yoongi waited a bit and followed him. When he reached the 2nd floor he had already missed the boy. There was a long corridor full of doors. He heard a soft tune coming from a semi-open door. He peeked inside and there was the boy. He was stretching and warming up alone. On his left was a music box. Yoongi got the idea. The boy was a dancer. He did not know why but he wanted to see him dance, but how could he do it without the other one noticing him?
He almost cried out when he felt a hand touching his shoulder.
“Excuse me, sir. I need-” A black haired cute girl passed through Yoongi and stood at the door “Hey, Hoseok, I’m sorry, but you have to use the dance room downstairs. This room will be used for the ballet dancers from now on.”
“Ah, really? I had totally forgotten about that. I’ll pack my stuff. Is room 3 available?”
“As always.” The girl giggled and turned around to find no one by her side. Yoongi had run immediately after her interruption. He didn't want the boy to know he was there in the first place.
What am I doing? He decided to walk back to the park. The girl from upstairs called him just as he was leaving.
“Sir, wait,” She sounded a bit out of breath from running. “I couldn’t help but notice you were on the second floor. Were you there to dance?”
“Oh, no. I'm not a dancer myself” Yoongi looked down to the floor. “I just wanted to see him...oh, never mind.” He felt his cheeks getting red. Was he sick? Yeah, must be that.
“You wanted to see Hoseok, right? This is a public building, you can watch them rehearsing.” So that was his name, it suited him. The girl smiled at him and pouted cutely. “Come, I’ll show you the room. By the way, I’m Hyuna. I work at the front desk but I’m a dancer myself.”
“Nice to meet you, Hyuna. I’m Yoongi, a songwriter.”
Hyuna showed him the way to the Room 3. “It’s a stage room so there are plenty of chairs.”
“Thanks, Hyuna.”
“You welcome. I hope you enjoy, Yoongi.” Hyuna left, turning her back to check if Yoongi wouldn’t run away. She giggled as the boy peeked inside the room.
Yoongi noticed the room was dark and empty. He decided to sit in the far back, in the corner close to the door. The boy named Hoseok was nowhere in sight.
50 seconds passed, when he walked to the center of the stage. How delicate he looked alone on the huge stage. He turned on the music and a soft melody started to play. The beginning of the song was quite calm, as well as the movements of the dancer. He continued stretching and warming up his body. After a few minutes, he changed the song and its beat grew faster and stronger and so did his moves.
Yoongi was fascinated with the soft yet firm moves of the dancer. How in tune he seemed to be with the music. He stood on his toes and spoke without words. He moved endlessly. It seemed as if he had forgotten himself and where he was, his every move inviting you to join him.
The dance was a kaleidoscope of emotions and Yoongi’s eyes were constantly fixed on the dancer. There was something about him. His beauty, his strong sharp jaw, his body, and his movements. A dancer is a pure artist. It’s poetry in motion, sculpture in motion, and expression in its purest form. There is nothing that can compare because it is the human body, the human soul that is dancing. Yoongi was in awe with him. He wanted to tell these things to him. Yet, he was just a writer too afraid to speak his mind.
He left before the next song began. Yoongi felt his face humid. He had been crying.
The song ended and no applause was given.
***
It didn’t take him long to get to the studio and the walk was pleasant and cool. He let himself in and nodded at the security guard at the door who smiled at him.
“Dude, what took you so long?” Namjoon asked, spinning the chair to face Yoongi.
“Coffee. Let’s listen to the beat you talked about.” Yoongi sat in the chair next to the taller boy.
“That can wait. What did you want to tell me earlier?” Namjoon asked curiously.
“Oh, about that yeah... looks like my mom has found another victim to meet up with me.”
“Is she confident this time?”
“Extremely.” Yoongi sighed.
“Are you interested?”
“Kinda. I don’t know.” Yoongi was indeed clueless. Maybe that dancer he saw earlier fucked up his thoughts. “I gotta meet him soon.”
“Are you afraid this time you’ll like the man?”
“No, it’s not that. It’s just ... I’m starting to feel that I should tell my mom to stop this thing before it’s too late.”
“You should meet up with the guy and tell him you don’t want this. Don’t give him high hopes.”
“I know. Let’s listen to the beat now.”
***
It had been some time since he had turned off his bedroom lights, leaving Yoongi staring at the dark ceiling as he listened to faint crickets’ sounds.
His eyes burned, wanting him to just close them and fall back into a deep sleep, but bits of lyrics and a potential melody played in his ears, keeping him awake. Time slipped by but the melody grew longer and so, he got up from his bed. He sat down in front of the computer, an open document staring at him blankly on the screen. Yoongi knew exactly what he wanted to write. A song about a boy and his love of dancing.
Later he would call Namjoon and tell him about his new inspiration wave. Namjoon would curse him for waking him up. Yoongi would care less.
***
Ever since that day, the writer would follow the dancer to the old building and watch him practice. Stalker much, uh, Yoongi? Usually, the boy would stop by at the coffee shop, but not always. It made Yoongi question his routine. He grabbed the courage and asked Hyuna about it. She had enthusiastically told him that his dance practices were on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Those were the days the boy would unleash to the world his emotions. Yoongi was not sure if Hoseok had noticed him before, but if he had, he showed no interest in him.
Hyuna, however, seemed to take a liking on Yoongi and would often chat with him before the dance practices. He liked her bubbly and adorable personality. She would always tell him which room Hoseok was at, whenever Yoongi missed seeing the dancer on his way to the dance studio.
Tuesday arrived and Yoongi was in the coffee shop, calmly drinking his black tea while reading a poems’ book, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Jihyun was smiling lovingly at him.
“I am going to the dance studio now. Want to come with me?”
“I’ll be there in a few moments.”
“Make sure to visit me after you’re done. I want to show you a certain part of the routine and I’d appreciate your opinion.”
“Sure, Noona!” He smiled back at her.
Jihyun was a ballet dancer in her free time. However, Yoongi only found out she danced in the same place as Hoseok few days ago when they bumped into each other when she was leaving the studio in a hurry. He also learned that Hyuna was her closest friend, and would often dance with her alongside with other 3 girls. From their talks, they seemed to be very close friends, so close as if there were sisters. Yoongi appreciated their relationship and it made him think of his with Namjoon and how much he valued it. One day he decided to embrace Namjoon in a tight hug, which made the latter jerk in surprise, but this time, Yoongi made sure the hug lasted longer; Namjoon made sure to keep this memory close to his heart.
When Yoongi saw Hoseok walking down the street, through the window, he immediately left the café and followed him. This time, he took a turn to the right. That was unexpected. When Yoongi turned right too, he gasped as the boy was standing right in front of him, glaring at him. Not even a second passed, and the boy had already punched Yoongi in the jaw and grabbed him by his collar before he could fall to the ground.
“Who are you? And what do you want from me?” He shouted with a threatening tone.
“I ...uh...I” His jaw was throbbing in pain. He tried to sound coherent but no words would come out of his mouth.
“You have been following me for the past 2 weeks, at least! Are you a thief? A stalker?” Hoseok’s grip got tighter.
He finally got the courage to stare at the boy directly. “I’m neither. I...I...enjoy...I enjoy watching you dance. That’s it, dude.”
“What?” His brows furrowed and he let go of his grip. He stepped back. “What did you just say?”
“I enjoy your dance.” Yoongi gained his balance and touched his jaw, making him whimper of pain. “I’m a songwriter, you see, and one day I saw you dancing and you inspired me to write songs. I came back to that place again and again because I realized you made me inspired to write.”
For a second, he was met with an incredulous stare, Hoseok suddenly quiet, his mouth popped open into a little “o”.
“Oh,” Hoseok finally said, laughing a little bit. He shoved his hands into his pocket, his cheeks beginning to blush. “But—but why follow me? You could just go straight to the building.”
“I go to the café every day. It’s my favorite place, other than the park. So it’s not like I’m following you all the time.”
“Oh, I see.” Hoseok coughed and led his hand to the back of his neck. “But why me? Why not another dancer? There are plenty of us that use that building.”
“I know there are more of you, but what can I do, I grew fond of you.”
The lovely blush was noticeable by now. “Oh, thanks, I’m so glad you like my dancing.” The boy chuckled. Yoongi did notice the boy was avoiding looking at him in the eyes. “I’m so sorry for punching you.”
“Forget about that. Let’s start from fresh. I’m Yoongi, a songwriter, sarcastic little shit who is very lazy and always misses his schedule time to deliver the lyrics to the team.”
“Nice to meet you, Yoongi. I’m Hoseok, dance is my life and I have a killer smile.” He then flashed that said smile. “I thought you were a killer, you know. I saw on criminal minds that psychopaths study their victim routines, so I figured you might have been one. I'm so sorry for punching you. Is there anything I can do to make it up for you?”
“You have got a wild imagination.” Yoongi laughed vigorously. “I’m just a songwriter.”
“Who happens to be a fan of my work.”
“I don’t want anything else; really, I just wanted to watch you dance. I’ll stop if you want me to.”
“Oh, no. I don’t mind. In fact, I’m flattered.” He started to walk. Yoongi followed him until they were next to each other.
“I should show you the song I wrote after you inspired me.”
“Really? Will you do that? That’s awesome!”
“You were humming a song I wrote when I first met you at the café?”
“What song?”
“The one you are softly humming to now.”
“No way? Really?”
“Yup.”
“Damn, you are, woah, man, you are dope! I can’t believe I’m your, what’s that called-“
“My muse.”
“Yeah that. Yeah, so you are really not a thief.”
“No, Hoseok, I’m actually going to kidnap you and force you to marry me.”
“I would beat the crap out of you, if you tried anything at all.” He laughed.
“Yeah, right” He shrugged, smirking.
Yoongi was so immersed in the conversation he only realized they were inside the building when Hoseok asked, “Hyuna, which is it today?”
“Room 15, upstairs, is available for our happy horse.”
“Shut up, Pikachu.”
“Ohh horse is serious today. Yoongi! I see you have finally met Hoseok. Hallelujah. I was growing impatient to see you two talk to each other. Here are the keys.”
“You two know each other?” Hoseok asked and grabbed the keys.
“Yeah. We met a couple of weeks ago. He knows Jihyun unnie too. You’ve got yourself a big fan here, Hoseok.”
Yoongi smiled bashfully. “You got me there.”
“Damn I never knew I would have a fan.”
“Stop, you’re good and you know it.”
“Have fun, boys!”
Hoseok opened the room's door. No one was there. And no one else would come that day.
“It’s just you and me.”
“And unspoken words.”
“Yeah, that too. So hum I’ll just practice a routine I’ve been working on.”
“I will do my best not to distract you.”
“I will probably be nervous.”
“Why? You dance in front of others all the time. Look, I understand nothing about dance. You can make mistakes and I will think they are part of the routine.”
Yoongi didn't know if that assured Hoseok but he notice how his moves were shy at first and then after a while they turned into some dope ninja stuff. The dance routine was way more powerful than the others and Yoongi found himself bobbing to the music. The performance was sick, the sickest thing Yoongi probably ever saw. When it ended, Yoongi applauded and cheered loudly. The first of many times he would give him applauses.
“That was awesome, Hoseok.” These words took Hoseok by storm. His eyes widened in surprise.
“Really? Woah, thank you!” The boy smiled but it was clear how tired he was.
Yoongi asked, “So, for how long have you known I have been watching you dance?”
“I actually didn’t notice you here before.” Hoseok must be blind because how on earth did he not notice Yoongi when most of the time he was his only audience? “I just noticed you following me on my way to the building few days ago. My friend Jimin calls me a dreamer, a head in the clouds. I agree with him, especially when I dance.”
“I understand you. I’m also like that when I’m doing my own thing.”
“Hey, so hum I’m going to take a shower first.” Hoseok headed to the door but stopped. “I’ll buy you a drink, to make it up for you. You know, because of the punch.”
Yoongi giggled, “I would love to. Take your time, though. I need to go and check on Jihyun.”
***
Days passed by. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. A writer and a dancer became friends. Close friends. It was during those days where they would sit around and do nothing, the moments they would laugh and cry, the way they would look at each other and know what was going on through each other’s head. It was those stupid pictures, the jokes and the mutual respect and admiration for each other’s work. It was the deep understanding of each other. Those were the reasons why they were close friends.
The next logical step would be for them to become best of friends. Well, they could have become best friends by now but Yoongi accidentally on purpose forgot to tell Hoseok about his arranged marriage. He would come to regret that much later on.
***
“Yoongi, are you deaf? I’ve been calling you forever!” His mother sounded calm. That was suspicious.
“Sorry, mom, I was caught up with work.”
“Have you found a muse already?” Again, this left Yoongi even more apprehensive.
“Yes, I have, mom.”
“Good. I also got news: WHY DID YOU MISS THE MEETING WITH YOUR PARTNER??” She yelled so loud Namjoon could hear everything she was saying. “I PROMISED MY FRIEND, ME DEAR FRIEND, THAT YOU WERE GOING TO MEET HER SON AND NOW YOU DO THIS? MIN YOONGI, YOU ARE A DEAD MAN!!”
Yoongi thought of himself as a tough guy. His mother, however, could make him feel as small as an ant.
“I’m sorry, mom. I will make things right.”
“MINYOONGIYOUCHILD-” The call ended abruptly.
Namjoon was stunned. “Did you just turn off the phone?” He then busted out laughing. “Well, mate, sorry for bringing this up, but you just signed your sentence to hell.”
His friend was right. He was going to hell and his mother, the one who would pay his passage to the hell’s gates.
Strangely, after that day, his mother never brought up the subject again. She must have broken the arrangement because of the letters Yoongi sent her describing Hoseok and the admiration he had for him. At least, that was what Yoongi thought and that was why he also never spoke of the marriage again. She would write him back telling how happy she was that he found Hoseok, wanting to know more and more about him. Then again, his mother always liked to know his friends well.
***
At the top of the hill, the vast city of Seoul could be seen. The moon went slowly down in loveliness; it departed into the depth of the horizon, and shadows crept up the sky through which the stars appeared. Soon, however, they would too begin to pale before a splendor tale in the east, and the advent of the dawn would declare itself in a newborn blue of heaven.
Hoseok had managed to convince Yoongi to come with him after trying for at least 3 times before the older said yes. He didn’t tell him where, though, but soon Yoongi realized they were going somewhere far away from the city and towards the mountains. He was right. After climbing a hill for more than 20 minutes, they reached a high ground. Hoseok sat on a rock and gestured Yoongi to do the same. Yoongi could feel the other’s warmth when their bodies touched.
“Why are we here?” Yoongi tried to catch his breath after the long walk.
“You have to be patient, my friend. I’m going to show you something spectacular."
“What?”
“It’s right in front of you. What do your eyes see, Yoongi?” He asked, looking forward.
You. “Seoul City?”
“You can do better than that.” He said as he looked at the far away sky, breathed in the air, cold and frosty, and gazed at the stars up so high.
“The soon-to-be starless sky, the highways, various types of buildings and different lights that paint the city in this cold night...”
“So much is going on. So many things exist and we fail to see the beauty in them.” He turned his head, directly looking at Yoongi. “I like to come here to view the city. It relaxes me. I just try to...how I can say this...I like to enjoy the smallest of things. Look, just the city alone gives us an immense show.”
“This reminded me of something. There was once a poet who said “Wise is the man who contents himself with the spectacle of the world.””
“Exactly!” Hoseok’s face shined with a smile.
“What do you think about when you dance?” Yoongi asked after a few minutes in absolute silence.
The boy smiled so big and began to talk endlessly why he loved to dance. Yoongi admired him, focused on the way Hoseok’s eyes would brighten up, his facial expressions, his hands gestures. How happy he looked while talking about his love.
“...there’s something about losing myself in the rhythm that makes me feel so alive. While I dance, I think of life, of beauty, of nothing. I mostly dance for myself and that’s why I don’t long for the audience’s applause.”
“You are beautiful.” That wasn’t supposed to come out loud but it did and Hoseok hit him in the shoulders jokingly telling him to shut up. “I think you don’t realize how beautiful you are while dancing. How beautiful your dance is.”
“Thanks.” He timidly smiled. “It’s almost time.”
“For what?” Yoongi questioned.
“Sunrise! Look, the sun rises and the moon sets every day, and it’s spectacular, yet no one stops and watches them”, Hoseok smiled so brightly the sun didn’t have to rise for his smile was light enough to embrace the night.
Yoongi leaned over and rested his head on Hoseok’s shoulder. Hoseok’s hand found its way to Yoongi’s left thigh where it stayed resting until Yoongi intertwined their fingers.
“My favorite time is actually when the sun hasn’t come up yet, but you can already feel it coming. Its subtle warmth, like a promise, whispered in your ear and you know that everything will be alright for the sun has risen again.”
Both of them sat quietly as the slow show began. How lovely the woods looked before the sunrise. How sweet and fresh the morning air was! How small one feels in the presence of nature’s grandness! The sun woke up from its sleep and presented itself to them peacefully, steadily, warmly, painting the sky with pink, orange and blue. “
“Isn’t it beautiful?”
“Yes, it is.” Something about Hoseok intrigued Yoongi. He couldn’t even put it into words. At first, he thought he might had a crush on him and if so then all the tales and songs about love lied, for he did not feel his heart pound, his hands shake nor his knees go weak. Instead, he felt tranquillity, no anxiety nor agitation. Yoongi found himself liking those sensations. “I was serious back then. I wish you could see through my eyes how amazing and beautiful you are.”
“Shut up, Yoongi.”
“Okay.”
“Thank you.”
“I know.”
It took Hoseok a little while longer to respond, yet he heard it, when Hoseok said, voice a quiet whisper, “Watch the sunrise and remember I'm with you”.
They stayed like this for a while, in absolute silence, watching the sun rise in all its beauty.
***
It was a cold December morning, the wind whispering sweet nothings in Yoongi’s ears, the first snow falling slowly and gently, painting the picture white. At the park, kids were playing and throwing at each other snowballs. Yoongi loved a child’s laughter, its innocence, and magic wonder. He was sitting on the bench for awhile, watching them playing, a smile plastered across his face until he felt a cold impact on his left cheek. He looked up to see Hoseok laughing at him, “You’ve got a bit of snow on your face.”
“No, shit, Sherlock,” Yoongi got up and immediately grabbed some snow and launched a ball that landed on Hoseok’s stomach. Yoongi laughed in return and Hoseok smiled. His smile split across his face, softly and gentle, like the moon waking up the sun every dawn. His hair was adorned with little snowflakes that melted slowly, his eyes were sparkling and Yoongi’s breath stopped. Hoseok was alluring and Yoongi’s eyes were enamored with him.
He did not know how much time passed until he noticed how Hoseok’s gaze softened, and said, “You see, I have always liked quiet people like you. You never know if they’re merely dancing in a daydream or if they’re carrying the weight of the world. Which one are you, Yoongi?”
“I would say both.”
“I knew that would be your answer. Hey, let’s grab a cup of hot chocolate. It’s freezing as hell.” The boy started to run across the white snow. “Come, come or we are going to miss it”
“Miss what?” Yoongi ran behind him, trying to catch up with the dancer.
Hoseok looked behind and shouted, “Life, Yoongi, life!”
***
On January, Hoseok had moved into Yoongi’s apartment. It was his idea as Hoseok was looking for a better place to live. It was just a temporary thing, sharing the apartment, but Yoongi wished Hoseok would never find a new one for himself.
March had arrived and the spring had kissed its goodbye to the winter. It arrived shyly and gentle, the sun got warmer, the before frozen river flowed again, the snow melted and now the world was painted in green.
During those months, Yoongi noticed it was a rare treat for Hoseok to really be at rest, to have a day off from running to and from rehearsals and work, and to take a break from being beautiful.
Hoseok would relish in whatever he decided to do that day whether it be sleeping in, marathoning a show he missed or watching Yoongi work on his music. He would create and discover himself, destroy himself while performing ardently every time.
Yoongi would give him the gift of touch, and the silent applause in an embrace. He admired him. Because he was unreal. Mesmerising. All he knew was that Hoseok made him find happiness.
He fancied the idea of completing each other because Yoongi’s smile pulled to the right, and Hoseok’s smile pulled to the left. It was all in his head, of course, but what does it matter?
Yoongi knew sharing the apartment with the person he wanted the most was like sharing it with an open fire. Hoseok was constantly drawing Yoongi in. And he was constantly stepping too close. Yoongi didn't realize how much burned he already was.
Staring at the music program, Yoongi thought of the melody that had been haunting him. He adjusted the earphones before pulling out the piano to start the process. He was so immersed that when a hand came down onto his shoulder, he jerked in surprise.
“Didn’t mean to scare you, sorry.” Hoseok greeted him with a sleep-soft smile.
“You can’t sleep?” Yoongi paused the music.
“Yeah...”
“Want to have a listen?”
“Yeah, sure,” He said smiling.
Before he was able to press play, Hoseok leaned forward and adjusted himself until he was sitting comfortably on Yoongi’s lap. His hands then found very naturally their way around Yoongi’s neck and shoulders. He leaned his right cheek against the blonde’s head to get a better look at the computer screen.
Yoongi’s heart was pumping so fast he could have a heart attack right there. Hoseok was so close to his body, and god, he swears he could listen to his heartbeats. It took a moment for his heart to calm down, and not be distracted by how warm Hoseok felt right next to him and how close his face was to his own. He pressed play with a click.
Few moments after, he started to feel completely relaxed even though his body started to feel Hoseok’s weight pressing on him. The brunette asked to listen to the song a couple of more tries and offered some compliments and suggestions, which made the song much better. He was not a producer himself, but he was a dancer, and a dancer knows music.
Funny how it was the silence that taught him music, but it was Hoseok who taught him the wonder of love.
Hoseok’s head fell till it rested on Yoongi’s neck crook. He realized the younger boy had fallen asleep. His deep breath ghostly warmed his skin. It took a moment of bravery he did not know he had, to touch Hoseok’s arms and then his face. He couldn’t explain either how he tangled their hands together. He craved for more touch yet he decided to close his eyes and soak up the intimacy of the moment while it lasted.
“Hoseok, shhh, wake up,” He whispered softly to which Hoseok hummed endearingly, “Let me take you to your room.”
Hoseok nodded, squeezed at their linked hands and brushed a kiss on his neck that sent a shiver down Yoongi’s spine. “Hyung, will you tuck me in?”
“Excuse me?”
“Tuck me in, cuddle with me tonight?”
Yoongi knew he couldn’t say no. Not when Hoseok was the one that asked him. Not when he was pouting at him. And so he agreed to the idea.
Hoseok threw himself on his bed and Yoongi followed him. He leaned forward until their bodies touched one another. He placed his right hand around Hoseok’s waist and left a feather light kiss in his hair.
“Thank you.” and it sounded like a dream, but a real one.
“Good night,” Yoongi told him, voice heavy, his words coming out slowly.
Yoongi then realized how truly fucked he was. Number one reason: he loved Hoseok; number two: he hadn’t told him about the arranged marriage; and number three: his mother would kill him.
***
"Hoseok, do you trust me?” Yoongi asked him abruptly.
“Of course, hyung.”
“There’s something I need to tell you. Something I should have told you long ago.” Few days passed since that night and Yoongi made up the decision to tell Hoseok everything. He deserved to know.
“Shoot it,” Hoseok told him.
“I need to leave and stop something I should have done long ago. I promised my mother one thing, to marry a partner she chose for me. I have no clue who he is. I have here the letter with pictures of him.”
Yoongi expected to find Hoseok shocked but he simply asked, “You want me to open it?”
“No, I’m going to trash it away. I’m sure whoever he is,” Yoongi threw the unopened letter sent by his mother weeks ago to the trash bin. “He is not the man who stole my heart.”
In that moment, it suddenly hit Hoseok’s mind that Yoongi was in love with someone that was not him.
“I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
Hoseok had planned to confess his love to Yoongi on that day.
He felt tears falling as he realized he would never be able to.
He couldn’t help but feel hurt and angry since Yoongi did not tell him anything before. How blind was he that he failed completely to notice Yoongi was in love with someone else? How is he going to gain courage and face Yoongi that day? Face his disappointed mother and tell her to cancel everything? Hoseok wanted to run. Run away from everything.
***
Yoongi arrived at the meeting place and saw his mother close to the main door of the hotel. She looked worried, biting her nails. She looked up when Yoongi faced her, “Hoseok is here, in the garden near the fountain, Yoongi. He doesn’t look well. Go and talk to him.”
“Hoseok? Here? Is he okay?”
“I don’t think so. He didn’t even greet me.”
Of course, he didn’t, he has only seen photos of you and you look better in person. Wait, what is he doing here?, Yoongi wondered. Did he forget to tell him something? Something of utmost importance it couldn’t wait for the next day?
He gave his mom a quick kiss on the cheek and then went straight to the garden. It was beautiful and in its middle stood a statue of the goddess Aphrodite. How romantic. Hoseok was sitting on a marble bench looking at the sculpture before him.
He saw Yoongi approaching him, “Hey, little guy.” He was smiling faintly.
“Hoseok, what are you doing here?” Yoongi couldn't hide his confused look.
“Yoongi, sit, please.”
Yoongi did as he was told. The following moment was met with silence. A haunting one. The air was heavy. Something bad happened.
Sad eyes looked at him. “I’m so glad I met you. A true friend, who knows all about me and still loves me,” His face suddenly softened and tears came into his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me there was someone special in your heart?”
“What?” was all that came out of Yoongi’s mouth. Maybe I should tell him right now. “It’s y-“
Hoseok immediately interrupted him. “You threw the letter away, of your arranged marriage partner, said you did not want to proceed with it because you loved someone else” Tears spilled down his cheeks as his voice got louder, his tone angrier “I thought we were true friends. And true friends tell each other when their heart aches for another. So why did you not tell me?”
He was baffled, to say the least. “Hoseok, look, you got everything wrong.”
“You know what? Just forget it. I need to go. I’m late for work.”
“Wait, god dammit, Hoseok!” He grasped the boy’s wrist trying to grab him, but Hoseok was faster than him.
“Don’t do this to me now. Leave me be.” Yoongi would never forget Hoseok’s face in that moment, a mix of betrayal, sadness, anger and disappointment.
You know those cliché romance movies when this sort of stuff happens and one of the protagonists follows the other and kisses them while embracing each other and they realize they love each other? Yeah... that did not happen to these two young blinded men.
Yoongi did not follow him and Hoseok did not look back. Why? Because love is stupid and they are fools.
***
“Yoongi, what happened? I saw Hoseok sprinting out of here, holding back tears.” His mother approached him and sat next to him.
“He just left, Mom. He was so mad,” Yoongi was looking down, covering his face with his hands, in distress, “He didn’t let me speak.” He sighed.
“And the wedding?” His mother inquired.
“It won’t happen, mother,” He said loudly, pulling his head backward.
“Should I cancel it?” She regretted it the second she asked. Her son gave her a sorrowful look.
“I wrote something.” He handed the letter he wrote earlier to his arranged partner, “I would like for you to take this to him, I need to apologize for this whole mess.”
“Okay, I will give it to him. But tell him face to face alright?”
“I will. Do not worry about that. Are you disappointed?”
“No, I would never be.” She embraced her son, in a tight hug, caressing his hair. After some time, her shirt was soaked with tears but she did not mind, for he was her beautiful child and she loved him.
“Love is horrible, isn’t it?” The question dissipated with the wind and the answer never showed up.
***
Mrs. Min had left a small white envelope on his desk. His mother told him she had apologized for countless of times and even brought a small beautiful bouquet of flowers. Hoseok hated them. He sat in the chair looking at the letter in front of him. His mind told him to trash it away, his heart told him otherwise. He chose to follow his heart. What he read next, would leave him in awe after many years.
Letter to the one who will not be mine, nor I his,
Must you know by now, I am not good with words. I chose to write to you instead to apologize for the inconvenience I created. I wish not to proceed with the arranged marriage, not because we never met, nor because I did not find you interesting when my Mother told me about you, but because I’m a fool. We always have hope to find love, even if we have to use this system. You see, I fell in love in the meantime.
...One who loves does not know what they love, or why they love, or what love itself is. One simply loves...
Once someone told me if I missed them all I needed to do was watch the sunrise. For them, the sun never sets; for me, it never rises. They are the light and the moon that shines brighter than any other star in my universe; I am their darkness, where they could see the depth of their light; Sometimes they greet me with their darkness; other times, I shine intensely their world. We need one another – the dark and the light. We are neither a beginning nor an end.
That same person taught me that the world’s beauty is enough. No photograph nor paint needed. No memories as well. It is simply enough.
Please pay attention to these following words: the most beautiful sunrise is when you have it with your beloved one and the most beautiful sunset is quite the same. That is how I realized I loved that person. I hope you find someone who will bring you the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets of your life.
Yoongi
P.s: I will meet you for proper apologies, but I’m a sucker for letters. Hope you understand my situation.
***
Two weeks went by since the last time he had spoken to Hoseok on that dreadful day. He had tried to call him but he never answered the phone. He looked for him at the dance studio but he never showed up. He had asked Hyuna, Jihyun, Jimin, whoever he could find, about him, but they did not know his whereabouts either. Yoongi had tried. Yoongi had become desperate, mourning a love that never got the chance to bloom. He wanted to tell how much he loved Hoseok. How much he cared about him. Because of a misunderstanding, Hoseok was gone.
His mind tried to focus on the day for he was about to meet the man he was supposed to marry with. He had agreed to meet him, through exchanged letters, in a small café.
He had been waiting for ten long minutes, playing with the fork when his eyes caught the sight of Hoseok entering the café. The brunette man sat in front of him, in the chair that was not meant for him.
“You’re not going to greet me?” He asked smirking.
“Oh...uh...Hi, I was not- what are you doing here?” His eyes were incredulous and his mouth slightly opened in surprise.
“Meeting you.” He simply said.
What kind of answer was that? “I’m sorry?”
“I hope you don’t mind this place. I also took the opportunity to keep our families in touch with the situation. For the past two weeks, I’ve fixed the problems that occurred after the wedding was off. I told our families not to tell you, anything, of course. I wanted to surprise you.” He was smiling so beautifully and then he laughed. “Damn, I should have brought a camera. You look ridiculously shocked.”
“What the fuck is going on?” Lord knows Yoongi had been a witness of many fucked up things in his life, but he never imagined something like this would happen to him. Not in a million years.
“Yoongi, you are without a doubt the dumbest genius I’ve ever met. Think.”
A couple of seconds after and the realization of the situation hit him hard. So hard all he could do was laugh because he had been so stupid. Hoseok joined him too which brought curious eyes to their table. “I cannot believe this. It was you all along.”
Hoseok then explained how everything happened, “I didn’t know who you were either. I only learned the truth, once I asked my mom if she had any photos of my supposed partner and she happily showed me a photo she keeps in her purse. It was a photo of you smiling at your mother and I almost fainted right there. Then, she asked me when I would bring her, and I quote, ‘lovely son-in-law’ to visit our family.”
“Hold on, she thought you knew I was your partner?”
“Exactly! You know that photo we took on Christmas party at Jimin’s house? She loved it so much she framed it and put it on the walls. She had never done that before but I didn’t dwell on it. Now it makes sense. Also, it explains why she never bothered to tell me more about the arrangement ever since I told her about you back in December. When I inquired about it again, she just shrugged and told me to take my time. For her, the two of us were already together.”
“How long have you known it was me? When did all of this happen?”
“The day you told me you loved someone else.”
The memory of that flashed before his eyes. Yoongi shrugged the thought away. “If I only had shouted It is you that I love right there, none of this would have happened.”
“I know.”
Hoseok slipped his fingers through the spaces between Yoongi’s and tightened his grip on his hand. For a moment, they lost themselves in each other’s eyes. Hoseok afterward leaned forward until their foreheads knocked together, tenderly. Their noses brushed until his lips hovered over Yoongi’s and then they were kissing, a silent hello passing between them when Yoongi kissed him back, alluring.
“We are so lame, aren’t we?” Hoseok said when he broke their kiss, a lovely shade of pink across his face.
“This is not happening. I did not sign up for this.” The situation was so ridiculous Yoongi couldn’t believe it.
Hoseok cracked another smile, “You did. And so did I.”
“What should we do?”
“Let us have a proper first date and then we’ll see.”
“Holy shit, dude. This is a lot to take in.”
“I know!”
“Dude, for months I talked about you to my mom! That’s why she never brought up the marriage arrangement again, same as your mom. I’m such a fool.”
“We both are, Yoongi.”
For once, they were absolutely right. They were fools that loved each other. Fools and love! Who would say that would make a great match?
***
“Hey, so, I wrote you a letter.”
“A what?” Yoongi looked up at Hoseok. He closed his notebook.
“Read it. I wanted to tell you something.”
“You can tell it to me right now.”
“Look, last year you wrote that beautiful letter about your love to me and I always thought I needed to write one too. So here it is.”
“Oh, I see. You read out loud, okay?”
“It’s not because you’re too lazy to read, right?”
“Absolutely not.” He was lying. Hoseok knew that but didn’t bother anyway. “I want to hear your voice, Hobi.”
Hoseok cleared his throat and opened the letter.
Dear Yoongi,
It has been a year since the day we officially started dating. The day I surprised you as your arranged marriage partner. The day we laughed because we were fools that failed to realize we were each other’s partners. The day we both thanked our mothers for they had brought us together. The day I apologized for not talking to you for two weeks, only to get a hard smack on my shoulder. The day we told our friends about us and how happy they were for us. The day we first kissed. The day we said out loud “I love you” to each other.
My darling, Yoongi, your smile is like a sky painted with a soothing blue. It’s the moon on a dark night, quietly illuminating the wanderers with the help of the stars.
You are the most sensitive, most big-hearted person I know, even if you don’t like to show it. The most ambitious and hard working person I know.
I adore everything you do, every little thing about you.
I loved you then, I love you now and tomorrow.
Yours forever,
Hoseok