Archive of Our Own

When Jayce met Viktor he never imagined that he would try to kill him, nor did he imagine that he would risk his life to save the world with him.

He had stopped Viktor from jumping once, from taking the life that he thought was tainted. 

Much like Viktor, he flirted with death before. He looked down at the ground from the ledge of his blown up apartment and wondered how fast his body would fall. He once heard that your life flashes before your eyes and wondered if he'd even have the time to witness it. 

That was before Viktor showed up, miraculously, stupidly, and asked if he was interrupting.

Yet even in their attempts to save each other, they would always fail. They were always going to end like this.

The rune emanates a blaring white light through the cracks of their joined hands. It was unclear whether it was coating everything in it or swallowing it whole. Jayce himself feels pushed and pulled in every direction. The only thing that grounded him were the places he connected to Viktor: his hands and his forehead. The rest of him was constantly slipping away, like soon it would no longer be his body but space itself.

And he was terrified.

Maybe there was an after for them. Maybe. 

If there's one thing Jayce knew about the Hex Core it was that he knew nothing. Every day he discovered something new, nothing was certain.

It made weapons, it sent him across dimensions, and it brought Viktor back to life. It's amazing if a material has the power to do any of those things, let alone all three. 

Now here it is trying to link the consciousness of everyone in Piltover regardless of who they are and who they have been.

Viktor's grip tightens on Jayce's wrist as the light becomes too much. It's enough to break Jayce out of his doom-filled thoughts of what is coming next. He is not one to engage in physical contact, that responsibility usually falls on Jayce. He'll pat Viktor's back for a job well done, raise his hand for a high five, or tap his shoulder to get his attention. Viktor, in turn, usually taps Jayce with his crutch should he need to speak with him.

When they hugged in the lab it was the most contact they’ve ever had. Jayce was so overcome with joy he didn't process the changes in Viktor's now purple body that was taught with unnatural muscles. He was so grateful to have his best friend alive and in his arms that he reopened the wound on his back. By the time he realized it he was too distraught over Viktor leaving to care. He sat on his stool and let it bleed until infection seemed imminent.

And still, he thought of Viktor's hand on his back, cold and alive .

He’s not sure he’d ever get used to how it feels to touch Viktor, like the high that comes from solving a difficult equation. It’s always a relief that washes over him – finally, this.

Is this the end? Probably, maybe, most definitely. It’s the end of the Hex Core, that’s for sure. But what of them? Will they be spared or cast away like all the damage they caused?

He holds Viktor a little tighter, a little closer, just in case this is the last time.

It’s odd to think this is the man who has haunted his waking moments since he stepped into Jayce’s life. On that fateful day, the world changed its orbit and Viktor was at the center. Everything revolved around him.  

There’s so much left to say and do. At least Jayce had shown him a faction of his care, or “affection” as Viktor so plainly put it all those days or weeks ago. Time is fuzzy in Jayce’s head. Living in an alternative reality will do that to you.

There is beauty in imperfections , he had said. And he meant it. Every part of Viktor was effortlessly beautiful. Those words held a candle to how he really felt, but not even he knew the depth of his feelings.

He saw a flash of his life and was unsurprised to see Viktor in every moment. This is how it's supposed to end, the two of them were meant to be inseparable.

And so the light swallowed them whole.

Or perhaps it spit them out, because as Jayce opened his eyes again he was stunned to realize he was not dead after all. The only white he could see now was the clouds above. They speckled the brilliant blue sky he was sure he’d never see again.

And below him, pushing against his back, was the ground. Solid ground. No more eternal space and nothingness. It's ground he could make sense of, ground that held him when he fell.

Is this the afterlife? Jayce wondered. Then he took a deep breath and decided no, it was not. While the air was fresh he was certain no afterlife would smell like this, like something moldy was not far away.

And of course the trees. They were gnarly and overbearing, cropping his perfect view of the sky.

No, this wasn't the afterlife, but that begged the question of where did he end up? And where was–

He sat upright as a new fear settled in. Where was Viktor? He would figure out the severity of his situation later, but the whereabouts of his partner came first. 

As he started to move he quickly learned his body ached from fighting both Viktor and the ethereal power of the Hex Core. Yet he had no choice but to persist. He pushed himself up with his limited strength to better scout the area. 

“Vik?” he called out. “Viktor?”

Silence has never haunted him quite like today.

Birds fly overhead, oblivious to his turmoil as he twists around calling, “Viktor?” again and again.

The wind mocks him, tickling his hair as he searches the barren grassland around him.

Then he sees it, a flash of a blue blanket crumpled in the distance and shaded by a tree.

Jayce doesn’t have it in him to run, but he does it anyway.

Without Jayce having noticed,  his brace had cracked. It quickly became apparent the metal and wood are, at this point, more decorative than functional as with each push of his leg it screams under the strain. 

“Viktor!” he calls, stumbling over the last few steps and crawling the rest of the way to his friend. “Viktor, are you okay?” He grabs Viktor’s shoulder to turn him onto his back. His lax body doesn’t fight the movement. “Shit,” Jayce curses. “Shit shit shit.”

Viktor doesn’t move. Jayce presses his fingers to his neck, feeling for a pulse. 

It’s slow and soft, but it’s there.

“Thank fuck,” Jayce mumbles, pulling Viktor off the ground and into his lap. “Come on, Vik. Open your eyes. Please, do it for me.”

His pleas go unanswered, but Viktor's heart keeps beating so it’s enough for now.

---

A lifetime seems to pass before Viktor shows another sign of life. His fingers twitch against the ground, and Jayce’s heart stops. He doesn't move a muscle as he waits for Viktor to wake.

His fingers twitch again, then they curl into a fist as a groan bubbles in his throat.

“Viktor?” Jayce whispers hopefully, idiotically.

He keeps his eyes on Viktor’s face as his brows draw together then release. With a slow flutter of his lashes, his lids creep open. Jayce hadn’t allowed himself to think of what he might do should Viktor still be influenced by the Hex Core. He still looks as ragged as when Jayce brought him back to life, but his eyes are clear of any influence. They're amber and glowing like the sun.

Like a second chance,

“Viktor,” Jayce breathes. “You’re alive.” Saying the words again feels bitter on his tongue. He had been so relieved the first time that he was blinded to the truth. As he pulls Viktor into an embrace he wonders if he’s learned his lesson this time.

Viktor says nothing, nor does he return the hug.

For a few moments, Jayce can’t find it in him to care. He can feel Viktor’s pulse as he pushes his face into his neck and he can hear the softness of his breaths.

He’s alive. 

They both are.

Eventually, he pulls back to give Viktor the room he needs. With the new space between them, he quickly notices that Viktor is pointedly avoiding his stare.

“We did it,” Jayce says, hoping for a reaction. “Vik, we did it.” He doesn't feel the hum of the Hex Core around him, even if the scars remain. His rune is gone too, so that must mean something .

Viktor still says nothing. Jayce will have to accept that for now.

He keeps a steady hold on Viktor as he helps him sit up. Now that his world is in place, he can finally examine the one around him.

It looks eerily familiar in a way that is not quite right. Almost haunting.

The grass and trees reek of odd nostalgia like he’s spent his whole life inhaling their scent.

He scans over the trees until he notices the tall breach of buildings, shiny and new cutting through the sky. “Piltover,” he whispers. But something isn’t quite right. He recognizes a few of the buildings, yet some are unfamiliar.

This catches Viktor’s attention. He follows Jayce’s gaze. The gears turn in his mind, and Jayce can practically hear him think as he processes this new information with the existing.

It takes everything in him not to reach out and hug his partner once again.

They’re alive.

And Viktor looks as beautiful as the day he lost him.

“No,” Viktor says, shaking Jayce from his thoughts. “No, that isn’t right.” He points ahead. There’s no longer any purple seeping into his skin. Well, other than that in the bags of his eyes. But that’s natural for him. In the light of the sun, however, Jayce swears he can see the rainbow of the Hex Core glowing through his skin. “That building was not there. And..and the Hexgate…” His voice trails into nothing.

He doesn’t need to finish his sentence, Jayce has noticed the same thing.

The Hexgate is gone. Or maybe it never existed.

“This is not our world,” Jayce deduces, though he’s sure Viktor has already come to that conclusion. He’s always been one step ahead after all. “This might be another reality, like the one I was sent to.”

Viktor saw his memories when they were bringing down the Hex Core. He saw the future that would come should they let things continue. He saw what Jayce fought through to get back to him.

Jayce clears his throat. “If the Hexgate does not exist, then I am interested to see what else has changed from this reality and ours.”

Viktor pushes to his feet,  eyes locked on the towers of the city. He says nothing.

“Viktor?”

“I don’t understand why we’re here, Jayce,” he admits. He takes a step toward the skyline. “The Hex Core, we destroyed it. I’m sure we did. I felt it die. Felt it leave my body and return to the universe, I felt–” he pauses, looks to Jayce, then looks away. “We should be dead.” He takes a few more steps, his brain going over time. “The Hex Core gave me my life, there’s no way I should be able to live without it–”

“You’re not limping,” Jayce notices from his place on the ground. “Does your leg not hurt?”

Viktor freezes and looks down at his bum leg, only it’s no longer a grievance of his. He lifts it, bends it at the knee, then kicks it out. He wobbles for a moment, then regains enough balance to set it down. “No. It doesn’t hurt.” He stares at it the same way he does any problem he’s not sure how to solve – with his brow knit and his lips pulled into a tight frown. “It feels…fine.”

Jayce could cry if he had a little less self-respect. Viktor’s persistence in climbing the social ladder even with a weakened leg was one of the things he admired about him, but now that it’s healed he didn’t have to walk the path to success, he could run.

“Viktor, that’s…that’s amazing.”

Viktor continues to stare at his leg. “Yes I…I suppose so.”

“You don’t sound very happy about it.”

Viktor swallows. “I…” He glances at Jayce and catches the way he struggles to stand. “You’re hurt.”

Jayce steadies himself on wobbling feet. “I’m fine, Vik.”

“You're brace you… have you always had a brace?” He starts at the broken contraption. “I saw when you hurt your leg but I didn’t think…” His fingers twitch at his sides. “We need to fix it. Can you walk?”

Jayce nods slowly. “I can, but don't you think we should talk first? About, y’know, everything?” 

“Everything” is a series of complicated and complex topics they shouldn’t avoid: The Hexcore, Hextech, Viktor’s rebirth and near ascension to godhood, their fighting, their second chance, and everything Viktor saw in Jayce’s mind.

“We need shelter,” Viktor insists, looking in the direction of the not-Piltover. “And food, probably.”

“Viktor–”

“We should leave soon. It might take us longer with your leg–”

“ Viktor! ” Jayce grabs his arm. His partner freezes. “Vik, we’re alive!” A small laugh escapes him. “ We made it!”

“And?” Viktor's hands clenched into fists. “What, do you want to celebrate or something?”

“Sure, why not! We should do something at least. Or say something!” He tries to take a step forward but has to cut the distance short as pain shoots up his leg. “We didn't want to die, right? So shouldn't we be excited? Or glad?”

Viktor does not look at him. “We need shelter–”

“We don't have money for shelter!” Jayce says, now starting to become frustrated. 

“We'll think of something.”

“Viktor, what's going on with you?” He musters another half-step forward. “What are you thinking?”

His head whips toward him with such passion that Jayce is frozen in his gaze. “I'm thinking that we need shelter. Let's not waste any more time.”

“Fine, okay. Shelter first then we talk about why and how we're here.” Jayce starts to hobble closer to his partner. 

Viktor sighs. “Stay there.” He widens the distance between them to search along the line of trees. Jayce had already been terrified he might lose Viktor in the Hex Core, but now he fears that should Viktor flee he would not have the strength to keep up.

Luckily, Viktor returns with a gift.

He hands Jayce a long, gnarly stick. “It should support your weight, but be careful anyway.”

Jayce takes it. “It's not as good as yours was.”

Against Jayce's wishes, Viktor does not smile. “We need to get going.” 

He starts in the direction of the city with Jayce close behind.

---

It is evident something is wrong the second they step into the city, but it is not evident what is wrong until they reach the bridge.

It's pristine and bright with people walking across without a care in the world.

“Zaun… and Piltover,” Jayce breathes. 

They're united.

How many years have these two sides been hostile to each other? How long have they snarled and bit whenever the opportunity opened up?

And now they're at peace.

“How…” Jayce is not sure what question to ask first, and thinking with a pained leg is not helping his cause. 

“They must have found a way to unify,” Viktor says, also at a loss for words. “Everything we did with Hextech to make the world better…and they figured it out.”

It's so beautiful it nearly makes Jayce sick. 

Everything they worked for – the late nights, the patents, the academy, the talking with politicians, the speeches – and the solution had been in front of them the whole time.

They wanted to bring magic to the world but failed to see it didn't come from equations and experiments, it came from people.

Jayce forces himself to keep going. “We should see what else is different.” 

Everything is cause and effect, right? There has to be an explanation as to why this world is so different. It can't be a single decision that led this Piltover to be a place of unity. There must have been other factors that played a role in its development. It can't all be linked to Hextech.

The city is rampant with the colors of vendors and finely pressed clothes. Stores of all shapes and sizes decorate the streets and there's no animosity.

It's so different Jayce can't quite make out where they are in the city, and he's lived there for years.

Viktor is silent by his side as he takes in the new scenery. He keeps his blanket tightly wrapped around him to cover what he can. There's an emotion in his stare that Jayce can't quite place. It's not one he recognizes in Viktor. Sometimes he'll see a face in the crowd and flinch like they've threatened him, but the person keeps moving and only Viktor is left with the blow. 

Jayce asks him about it once it becomes a pattern. To his frustration, Viktor plays it off as not being well adapted to the new world.

“Do you recognize people?” Jayce asks after the third time.

This gets a reaction out of Viktor. He flinches and says, “No” with enough authority that Jayce knows to quit while he's ahead.

After parading down a few more streets Jayce's leg can barely keep it up. He's dragging it behind him more than he’s using it to walk. It's when he feels he's at his weakest that he bumps into a young student in his uniform. He has that same inquisitive look in his eyes that all Academy students share.

And Jayce recognizes him.

“Ekko?”

The young student looks up at him. He's taller than the Ekko Jayce knows, perhaps he was fed better in this life. He certainly looks better as a whole. He carries himself straighter and his hair is pulled nearly back instead of its usual state of freedom. 

Viktor stiffens beside him. “Jayce, they don’t know us here. We shouldn’t interact with–”

“Do I know you?” Ekko blinks at them.

“It's me, Jayce.” He's well aware that he looks like shit. He's sweaty and pale from the walk and his hair is sticky. The Jayce of this world might not have a beard either, so perhaps his name will strike Ekko’s memory.

“Who?”

“Jayce. Jayce Talis.”

Ekko Is silent for a moment, racking his brain to find that name in the many cabinets of knowledge stuffed inside his head. “That sounds familiar… but sorry, I don't think I remember you.”

Jayce tries to keep his stomach from dropping. “That's okay. What about…” he tries to think. Who else do they both know? “Vi? Though I suppose her full name is Violet. Do you know where she is?”

Ekko freezes. “Vi died years ago.” His face scrunches up, whether in disgust or shock, Jayce is not sure.

Vi is…dead? How did that happen? When did that happen? Ekko said it had been years but just how many had passed? Did Vi ever see this new world?

Jayce doesn't let himself linger on it. “Sorry, sorry, I must be thinking of someone else. What about Caitlyn? Caitlyn Kiramman?” His childhood friend. Surely she would recognize him, maybe she could help them understand what had happened here.

“The Kirammans lost their daughter ages ago. Everyone knows that.” He can recognize the emotion on Ekko's face now. It's a warning.

“Caitlyn is…” No. No. That can't be right. He just saw here earlier, granted that it was in another world. 

She's always been someone he could rely on. They grew up together, dammit. She congratulated him on his awards, and he went to her graduation.

Next to Viktor and his mom, Caitlyn was the closest thing he had to family. And now…

Viktor grabs Jayce's arm. “I, uh, I apologize. My friend hit his head and is quite confused. He should be better with some rest. If you could lead us to a hotel that would be appreciated.”

Ekko doesn't move for a moment, then he points down the street. “Take the second left. Langston's Crossing should be on your right.”

“Yes, thank you.” Viktor puts a hand on Jayce's back. “Come on, let's go–”

“Wait.” He digs his heels into the street. “Where is the cemetery?”

---

It's a twisted sort of irony that the world should be a better place without you in it.

A tiny grave amidst the row of others, etched with a name shared.

Jayce Talis

Beloved son and inventor. Forever in our hearts.

Jayce recognizes the date, and he wonders if Viktor does too. He remembers everything clearly: the council, the ledge, the city below, and Viktor asking if he's interrupting. If Jayce is dead, then Viktor never showed up. No wonder Hextech isn't here, they never invented it.

Jayce feels like he should do something, but he's not sure what. He doesn't have the money for flowers, and it feels wrong to put a gift on your own grave.

He hadn’t been looking for his name, he was looking for Caitlyn or maybe his mother should she be dead too. Of course, it was hard to walk by once he had noticed.

He reaches out his hand to trace the engravings. Hextech never came to be here, and look how much better the world is because of it.

Jayce takes a deep breath and forces himself to walk away with a heavy heart. That’s enough discovery for today.

With his sturdy walking stick, he hobbles slowly off the grounds. 

Vi is gone. Caitlyn is gone. Hextech never was. Zauna and Piltover are one. And this Jayce left his life believing he was a failure.

So much was twisted. Jayce has to pause for a moment in fear he might throw up all over an unsuspecting person's grave. He's able to keep it down though, he has enough wherewithal to be respectful of the dead. 

He keeps moving. Viktor watches.

“I guess this means we never met in this universe,” Jayce says in hopes of lighting the mood.

“Or that I am dead as well. I doubt even here we would have enough money for a grave.” Viktor may walk beside him, but his mind is far away.

“Maybe you’re off doing great things,” Jayce says.

“Unlikely. We were probably brought here to this universe because our other selves are no longer.”

Jayce stops again. “That's very… pessimistic, even for you.”

Viktor stops too, albeit a few feet away. “We should keep moving, Jayce.”

“Vik.” He runs a hand through his overgrown hair. “Something has been bothering you since you woke up. I know everything that happened was fucked, and that we both went through some crazy shit but it’s just you and me now. You can talk to me.”

“Let’s find a place to–”

“ Viktor!” Jayce slams his stick against the ground. “ Talk to me!” 

“And what would you like me to say!” He yells in return.

“ Anything! Tell me about the weather, your favorite color, or what the hell is going through your mind after all the shit we just went through. We survived imminent death, Viktor. Piltover was nearly destroyed. We fought each other. I killed you!” And the words hurt like nothing else. Seeing the life drain from Viktor’s eyes and knowing, knowing, that he was the cause of it tore him in half.

 “And now we are both dead!” Viktor casts his hand out toward the grave a few feet away. Jayce stiffens as if slapped. With a few deep breaths and a long swallow, Viktor collects himself enough to look away. “I… I am sorry about your losses in this world, but we are in a new place with no home and nowhere to go. The sun will set soon and you need to rest your leg. Perhaps we can sell one of the buttons on your coat for some money and get a room.”

And that’s exactly what they do. The fabric may be torn and dirtied, but his buttons are still gold. He sells three of them for a decent sum and the two can find Langston's Crossing without much of a problem. 

Jayce's leg is promptly killing him. Each step hurts more than the last. It gets to the point Viktor can no longer slow his steps to keep up with him. Instead, he wraps an arm around his friend's waist to support the weight. Jayce leans heavily on him, pulling Viktor at his snail's pace.

When the person behind the desk at the hotel says they only have one room Jayce doesn't try to barter or ask where other hotels might be. He gives the woman some money and hobbles in the direction of the elevator.

Sweat coats his brow from pain as he leans against Viktor. His head knocks into his partner’s as they ascend the floors. The last time he felt this helpless he was at the bottom of that pit in the alternative universe. At least he has one person left in this world; that's already an improvement.

Viktor unlocks the door for them. It's a tight fit getting through the doorway but they manage. Jayce practically melts in relief at the sight of the bed. Despite his sweat and grime, he falls face-first onto it with a groan.

Viktor stands at the foot of the bed. “I, uh, I can take the floor.”

Jayce lifts his head. He hadn't noticed there was only one bed.

“We can share,” he says.

Viktor shakes his head. “You'll need space for your leg and–”

“We'll share,” Jayce decides, propping himself up on his forearms. “I should shower then we'll divide up the space.” It wouldn't be the first time they slept in the same room. They often pulled late nights in their workroom. Jayce once passed out at his desk and woke with agonizing back pain and an ink stain on his face.

Viktor has to help Jayce sit up the rest of the way. Walking around Piltover and seeing what had changed and stayed the same took a great toll on him, his body is practically useless now. It's easy to take off his jacket since many of his buttons are already gone, but he needs Viktor to pull his shirt the rest of the way off when it gets stuck in his arms. He also needs help with his busted brace. Viktor works carefully to remove it from him, yet despite his best efforts Jayce keeps hissing in pain.

“It's kind of funny how the roles have reversed, huh?” Jayce says through his pain. “Now my leg is busted while you can walk normally.”

“Not really.” Viktor finally slips the barely functional material off his leg. “This will need a lot of fixing.”

“That's tomorrow's problem.”

“Yes.” Viktor pushes to his feet. “Tomorrow.”

Jayce shifts closer to the edge of the bed. “Can you help me up?”

Viktor complies, allowing Jayce to rest his arm across his shoulders. “Will you need help with your pants?” he asks without looking at him.

Jayce tries to smile. “That is the one item of clothing I am the most skilled at taking off.”

Still, Viktor finds no humor. “If you insist.”

The walk to the bathroom hurts like hell. Luckily the shower has a bench for him to sit at and slip out of his remaining clothes. It takes a few times to turn on the water from his position and lack of reach, but once the hot water starts to pour it's heaven.

Jayce lets his eyes shut as it envelopes him. This is the first real moment he's had to process his day. It's odd thinking he woke up in his bed back in Piltover – well, his Piltover – with a war raging on his doorstep and a home to protect.

Now he's homeless, poor, technically dead in this universe, with no title, no credentials, and everyone he's ever cared about is probably dead here too. There's a chance his mom may be alive, but if Jayce is dead then seeing her again will only give her a heart attack.

Oh, and his partner won't talk with him.

When they were destroying the Hex Core together he thought, he hoped , that Viktor would finally understand what this affection between them really was. Jayce let him see into his head, showed him every haunting memory he's had and now he won't talk to him. 

The lack of talking could be due to a list of other factors, such as their new environment, the fact that – even though Jayce hates to agree with it – they should be dead, and Viktor is probably feeling some type of withdrawal from the Hex Core. 

Jayce rubs away the grim on his body with weak arms.

He should be elated, shouldn't he? He's getting a second chance to live a good, proper life with Viktor of all people. Yet the past is already haunting him. This world was better without Hextech, better without him , so why should he keep persisting?

He runs his hands down his face. He shouldn’t think like that, not when he’s fortunate enough to have a second chance with Viktor. 

Viktor.

What the fuck was he going to do with Viktor?

He would do anything for him, that’s a fact Jayce could no longer ignore. He’d fight any monster, and destroy any obstacle in his way should it save him. Hell, he was ready to sacrifice himself so Viktor wouldn’t be alone when destroying the Hex Core. 

Viktor has haunted him like a stain he could never get rid of. They worked together for years, pursuing this Hextech dream like rats in a maze. He knew Viktor’s habits, how he scribbled when he was frustrated over an equation, what he liked to drink, his favorite places to eat, and how he mumbled in Zaunite when he was in the zone. Jayce knew him by his labored steps, his scent, the stroke of his pen, and the songs he hummed. He knew his dreams and aspirations, he knew his childhood and his fears.

Jayce spent those days in the bottom of that pit thinking only of Viktor. It kept him sane to think he was alive somewhere out there and that he knew him better than he knew himself.

And still, he shot at him. It was the hardest thing he’d ever done, but he did not believe his Viktor to be in there anymore. The Hex Core had corrupted him, reshaped him into whatever he became.

“Fuuuuuck.” He pushes his palms into his eyes until he sees stars. 

He dreamed of Viktor, he imagined him beside him as he fought through hell then he killed him. And once again he came back to life, so Jayce tried again.

But he…he couldn’t just sit there when he saw Viktor’s face split in two and dehumanized.

Frankly, he shouldn’t be sitting here now when Viktor was in the next room and he had so much to get off his chest.

Jayce wasn’t sure where to start.

Should he say “I’m sorry?” 

Should he get on his knees and beg for forgiveness?

Should he tell Viktor that he doesn’t blame him for anything he did? That it’s all the Hex Core's fault?

He twists off the water with a loud squeak of the handle. Whatever he’s going to say to Viktor, he should say it now before the weight of their memories crushes them.

Whether he deserves it or not, he's going to try his damned hardest in this new life. If not for his own sake then Viktor's. 

Drying himself off is a ridiculous act that he’s glad no one else witnesses. He shuffles around on the bench as he helplessly dries himself off.

There are complimentary robes on the side table. Jayce grabs one and ties it tightly around his waist. Then, though it pains him to do so, he flips his underwear inside out and slides it back on. Admittedly, not the worst thing he’s done these past few months – or the last few years. 

Using every piece of furniture available to him, Jayce supports his weight as he moves back to the bedroom.

A knot in his chest relaxes when he sees Viktor standing in front of the window, looking out to the city that is not quite theirs. The blue blanket has loosened around him, sagging across his frail body.

Jayce lays a hand on the bedside table and drags his leg around as he thinks of what to say.

I’m sorry.

Forgive me.

It’s not your fault.

I’d never blame you.

He slowly lowers onto the bed.

You’re not alone.

I’m here.

Viktor turns to face him.

You're my universe and my stars.

“You should use a pillow to prop up your leg. It’ll take the strain off,” Viktor says, looking at Jayce’s leg.

Jayce swallows. “Right.” He grabs the pillow closest to him and gently stuffs it under his knee. “Thanks.”

“I have plenty of experience with relieving a painful leg.”

“Good thing I have you then, huh?”

Viktor does not respond.

Jayce curses himself. So much for creating a better mood. “We should rest. We’ve had a long day and probably have another one ahead of us.”

Viktor traces his finger along the window sill. “I’m not tired–”

“Vik,” Jayce says. “Come here.”

His friend sighs. “I’m not–”

“Viktor. I’m not asking.” Jayce pats the empty side of the bed. “I know you’re tired, so please lie down and talk with me.”

Viktor shakes his head. “Jayce I…I shouldn’t.”

“Is it the one bed?” Jayce asks. “Does being this close bother you?”

“No.” Viktor pinches the bridge of his nose. “Well, yes and no. It’s…it’s not that specifically though.”

“Talk to me while you sit down? Please?” He reaches toward Viktor, offering him a hand.

Viktor stares at it. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

Jayce furrows his brow. “Do you want me to be mean to you?”

“No I…I don’t know. I certainly deserve it.” His gaze drifts to the floor. “I almost killed all of Piltover and Zaun. I could have brought the entire city to a standstill, creating statues out of the living. You saw what the future I was creating looked like, you lived through it! I reduced the city to ash and dust and I don’t…I don’t understand why you’re being so calm about it! It’s clear now that nothing I did, regardless of Hextech, would have made the world a better place. It was always, always, better without me.” He turns back to the window. Jayce wishes he wouldn't, he wants to see his face and to study his emotions. 

Viktor's thoughts are similar to his own, but it hurts more to see him suffer through this than it is to experience it.

“I'm not better off without you,” Jayce says softly. His outstretched hand falls to the bed, empty.

Viktor ignores him. “You said you persisted in helping me because I was your partner but I know you’re not stupid Jayce, I know you can judge the weight of what I’ve done against what I deserve.”

The words settle over Jayce like a blanket over his head, suffocating him until he has no choice but to claw at his throat to breathe. 

Viktor continues, “There is nothing here for you, Jayce. Our old lives are gone, and we can never get them back. The status you built, it's rubble now. The title you worked so hard for is gone because I took you away from everything. I ruined your life. You should leave me while you can.”

“...Viktor I…I would never abandon you. You…” Jayce isn’t sure what to say. How could he possibly begin to explain that life has more meaning when Viktor is in it? He eventually settles on, “You saved my life.” 

Viktor scoffs. “I didn’t in this reality,” he says. 

Jayce' leans back against the headboard. “So you did remember the date.” The date of Jayce’s death. The ledge they never met on.  “And you know I mean more than the literal sense, right? You stopped me from jumping, but you also gave me purpose, Viktor. I had a dream, sure, but it wasn’t worth following without you.”

He shakes his head. “You saved my life too once. So we’re even. You don't have to be tied to me anymore.”

“Well, then I killed you, or tried, which cancels that out,” Jayce warns. The words sizzle in his throat like acid. He rubs at his jaw and the beard that clings to it for a release. “Viktor, this isn’t some give-and-take relationship. I want to help you. I like helping you. I like being with you.”

Viktor studies his fingers as if he can still feel the Hex Core coursing through his veins. “I killed so many, Jayce. The commune, innocent civilians trying to fight against me, I killed them all. I don’t deserve to be here, with you, like this. I don’t deserve a second chance.”

“I killed a kid,” Jayce says with more authority than someone should when admitting a fact as terrible as that. “ And I killed Salo.”

“ I killed Salo. The Hexcore took his spirit away and I helped it.”

“I killed him when he was still conscious though, so that must count for something.”

“ He was already dead because of me ,” Viktor hisses.

“Okay, but I killed you .”

“I don't blame you for that, Jayce. I needed to be stopped.” Viktor rubs his face. “Are you seriously trying to argue with me over who's killed more people?”

“ Yes!” Jayce waves out his hands. “I'll argue with you on anything you'd like. Tell me it looks sunny out and I'll say it looks like rain. Whatever will keep you talking, keep you here , and convince you to give this second life a chance then you bet I'll argue with you about it until the end of time.”

“Jayce, you saw what I was doing to those innocent people–”

“That was the Hex Core, not you. It corrupted you, V. It took your good intentions and twisted them into something dark.” He lets his head fall against the wood of the headboard. This is not how he wanted this talk to go, and now he's too frustrated to turn it around. “Arguing isn't going to get us anywhere. We've had a long day and need to rest so please, please, come lie down.” He reaches out his hand once more.

Viktor doesn't take it, but he does sit on the bed. Progress, no matter how little, is still progress.

“Thank you,” Jayce whispers, pulling up the blanket before sliding under it. After a few moments of thought, Viktor does the same. He slips under the blanket and turns his back to Jayce.

The light of the dying sun slips through their one window, coating the world in orange.

“Goodnight, Viktor.”

His partner says nothing.

---

Jayce wakes to a nightmare. He's been having them since he left the pit. Every dream always leads him back there, to the bottom, with no way of climbing back up.

He grabs at his chest, nails digging into the space above his wild heart.

He counts in his head, starting over each time his mind wanders back to those horrid memories. For a while, he can't get above 30. When he finally manages to get to 100 his breathing returns to normal. With his thoughts finally his own, Jayce is relieved to find himself in the foreign hotel room listening to the breaths of a person he knows better than himself. 

He twists his head, unable to turn to his side with his bad leg, and looks at Viktor sleeping peacefully beside him. He's curled in on himself, holding the blue blanket he still wears tightly to his chest.

Without thinking, Jayce reaches up and traces the line of his form in the air. His fingers copy the curve of his head, the line of his neck, then the angles of his side. He knows them all by heart. He's watched Viktor for so long now, and he studied him when his body was being reshaped by the Hex Core. He slept in the lab every night those days hoping he'd wake.

Somewhere, in the vast collection of journals in his lab, is a notebook with the outline of Viktor's form. 

He traces his partner's form with hovering fingers until his eyelids feel heavy again. When he's certain he can't stay awake much longer, he gives in to his temptations and lets his fingers fall against Viktor's arm as he returns it to the bed.

It's a simple touch, fleeting and gentle, but it’s enough to make Viktor stir.

He lazily looks over his shoulder, catching Jayce's sleepy gaze. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Viktor looks him up and down. “Are you alright?” he asks.

For a split second, Jayce thinks about lying. He thinks about telling Viktor that he's alright and that everything is just fine.

But it's not fine.

“No I…” he's not sure where to start. Everyone he knows is dead here? He's not sure how to feel about anything? The project he worked on for years did more harm than good in the end? 

Viktor fully turns to face him.

Jayce lets his thoughts fade to oblivion. “Can I…can I hold you? Or at least be closer to you?” It's a selfish desire to want to hold and be held, but it's also the most demanding.

The soft light of the moon illuminated Viktor's face enough for Jayce to see the contemplation in his eyes. He weighs the pros and cons in his head until he eventually says, “Okay.”

Slowly, he curls into Jayce's side, his head finding the space where Jayce's arm and chest meet. Jayce wraps that arm around him and gently rests it on Viktor’s arm.

Jayce buries his face into Viktor's hair, breathing in deeply to his scent. In spite of all they've been through, he still smells like the lab. 

Like home.

“Is this alright?”

“Fine,” Viktor whispers. He rests his open palm across Jayce's chest.  They haven't touched this intimately before, laying beside each other, cuddling. Everywhere they make contact feels as if it's been ignited by flames. It's similar to how he felt as they destroyed the Hex Core like Viktor is his only tether to life. “I never used to understand why you were so…affectionate with Mel. I kind of get it now. It's…nice.”

Jayce huffs. “I don't want to talk about Mel.” His relationship with her was only ever that, affection. They needed to satiate a need, and they were both willing and able. 

He thought he loved her back when his life followed a stable path. It wasn't much more than that though, a thought. Mel, no matter how you looked at it, was perfect. She had a seat on a council, was successful, an heir to an empire, beautiful, and strong. Meanwhile, he was the man of progress. It made sense for them to work, but it didn't. The second he saw her again after returning he knew that love was never in the cards for them. They were always, on some level, strangers. And strangers they would stay.

Viktor tries to sit up but Jayce keeps a firm grip on him, holding him in place. “What? Why not? I thought you'd miss her.”

“I don't,” Jayce says, surprised to find he truly means it. Maybe someday he will miss her conversations. Not today though. “We broke up, not sure if you knew that. It was mutual and for the best.”

“Ah.” Viktor gives in and relaxes against Jayce once again. “I had no idea. It seems I haven't been a very good friend to you lately, in more ways than one.”

“Don't say that. You're my best friend.”

“It's true though. You've been trying to process these changes just as much as I have, and I have not been very helpful.”

Jayce squeezes his arm. “Don't compare our pains and don't push yours aside to help me. We've both been through hell, and our memories won't ever leave us. But for me, for now, just being here with you is enough.”

Viktor stares forward over the rise and fall of Jayce's chest. 

And as they fall into the silence of sleep Jayce thinks, You're all I need Viktor. Forever and always.

---

Sunlight leaks through the window and rudely wakes Jayce from his heavy slumber. He's not sure he'll ever get used to bright light after being swallowed by one. 

He tries to block the light with his hand as he blinks his eyes open. 

“Vik?” Jayce reaches to the spot beside him.

Only to find it's empty.

His stomach sinks. “Viktor?” He bolts upright against his body's wishes. If Viktor left when Jayce was asleep there was no telling where he went, and there’s a slim chance of Jayce finding him. 

If Viktor got in a boat he could be miles across the sea and Jayce would never know. Or if he did something rash–

“I'm here.” 

The two words fill Jayce with relief sweeter than life. 

Sitting in a small chair in the corner of the room that's shrouded in shadows and tinkering with Jayce's brace, is Viktor. It's a nervous habit of his to keep his hands busy. Working on projects keeps his mind off of more pressing topics.

Jayce pushes to his feet. His leg is feeling better after resting all night, thank fuck, and it's not a strenuous journey walking to Viktor.

His partner doesn't look up. “I've been thinking all night and–”

Jayce sinks to his knees and lays his head on Viktor's lap. 

He holds in his tears as he sits there and focuses instead on the man before him.

Viktor freezes, unsure of what to do with this new affection.

“I’m glad you’re still here,” Jayce whispers. He grips Viktor’s thighs with his hands and squeezes lightly.

He feels something tickle his hair, then it’s gone. 

“Jayce…I don’t deserve this second chance. And you don't deserve to have me holding you back.” Viktor lays his hands over Jayce’s. “Which is why I should go.”

“What?” Jayce lifts his head. “Go where?”

Viktor shrugs. “Somewhere, anywhere. Some place far away where I’ll never hurt anyone again.”

But Jayce has known Viktor long enough to find the truth in his words and the torment in his voice.

He stands with some difficulty. “Come with me.”

“Jayce–”

“ Viktor.” He reaches out his hand. “Come on.”

---

He lets muscle memory lead the way, which is a sad fact in and of itself. 

It’s a slow journey with a break taken for Jayce’s leg about halfway through. He leans against a building and tries to manually tighten the screws of his brace. Viktor stays by his side, watching as the children run past giggling and screaming. Life is moving on, oblivious to the fate it could have faced should things have gone differently. 

As he leans back to give his hands a break, he scans the streets for more familiar faces. Surprisingly, he recognizes the face of a woman walking in their direction.  He watches how she walks with a jump in her step, happy and calm.

Dread fills him once he realizes why he knows her. 

 She lived in Viktor’s commune. 

 Jayce tries to gather Viktor’s attention before he notices, but he is too late like always.

That sadness from yesterday has returned to his friend's face, tightening his brow and pulling his lips into a line.

That's what prompted all his odd stares, he kept seeing the faces of the people he helped.

“She didn’t need my influence to live a better life,” Viktor says.

Jayce straightens with the help of his stick. “Because she never took Shimmer,” Jayce points out. “There’s no purple in her skin, she’s healthy.”

“I suppose.”

Jayce grabs Viktor’s hand. “You alone do not bear the weight of the world. I helped make this mess too, and I have two shoulders to help you carry it.” Their eyes meet in a moment that could be eternal. Amidst the amber of Viktor’s eyes, Jayce sees the galaxies stirring. It’s almost too much. “You still don’t believe me?”

“No.”

Jayce sighs. “Then come on, we still have a ways to go.” He starts to walk again with their hands locked.

---

Viktor’s breath catches the moment he realizes where they are going. Even with his recognition, it takes a few moments for them to reach their final destination.

Jayce couldn't bring them to his apartment where they met since someone else was living there now, so he opted for the next best place: where he stopped Viktor from jumping.

“Why…why would you bring me here?” Viktor slips his hand out of Jayce’s. It was a miracle he held it for as long as he did.

“This is where we became partners,” Jayce says, stepping further into the room. “And where my life finally started.” He steps out into the sun, inches away from the ledge. He can see most of the city from here. All the vibrant colors mixed with white and gold stand out against the clear blue sky. “I was hoping it could do it again for both of us today.”

Viktor, much to Jayce’s surprise, comes to stand by his side. “Jayce, I told you last night that when you have done as much damage as I have, you don’t deserve a second chance.”

“And I told you I disagree with that. Viktor, you have been fighting against the cards that were rigged against you since birth. You didn’t ask to fight an uphill battle, and you certainly didn’t ask to be brought back to life with the Hexcore. I did that to you against your will and the power took control and corrupted you. This was never your fault, and while it may be hard I truly believe we can make a life for ourselves here. A good one where we actually help people. And I want to do it as your partner.” He turns to face Viktor, one shoulder facing the city and another facing the way they came. “I believe in this, in us, and no matter what you do I'm going to follow.”

Viktor’s eyes snap onto his in disbelief. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I do, Vik. It’s taken me so long to figure it out, but I finally have. I will go anywhere with you, no matter how high or how low. My only purpose, my only goal , is to stay by your side. I thought I made that clear when we destroyed the Hex Core.”

Viktor shakes his head and steps away from Jayce and into the wall. “No, no you don’t mean that. Why would you possibly wish to stay with me after everything I’ve done?”

“I’m your partner–”

“Stop it! Stop!” Viktor yells. “You’ve said that already but it doesn’t make sense! We’re friends, yes, but that’s no reason to risk everything for me, no reason to give up a perfectly good life to stick by a tortured soul like myself. You–” he points to Jayce– “you deserve the world. You deserve to have healthy legs and a stable body for the first time in your life. Not me. You deserve everything you’ve worked toward. You should be back in Piltover, our Piltover, living the life you risked everything for. You shouldn’t be here with the person who tore down all your hard work with their greed.”

Jayce’s face falls. “If you’re not there then there’s nothing left for me to pursue.” He takes a deep breath. “You and me, we're two sides of the same gear. We might face different directions and see things differently, but we're connected, and the machine won't work unless we – both of us – are there to run it. So if you don't want this second chance, fine, but I don't want it without you.”

Viktor’s eyes dart back and forth as he searches for something to say. Eventually, he settles on a frustrated noise that’s somewhere between a scream and a yell. “You are so unbelievably frustrating! I give you all the evidence, the indisputable facts, and you choose to blindly ignore them!  I knew you were an idiot but this is a new low, even for you.”

As Jayce looks at Viktor he holds his ground, forcing himself not to be affected by Viktor’s words said in anger. This frustrates his partner more.

“I could have killed everyone! I could have stolen their lives from them in a plan to force them into a dreamless sleep! I tarnished our years of research in months! I threatened everyone you know and love and tried to kill you as well! The one person who I’ve ever had a connection with and I threw it away after tasting an ounce of power! You have no reason to trust me, no reason to want to be with me, no reason to throw your life away to stay by my side !”

Jayce continues to stand there, absorbing the blows with a solemn face.

“You wanted to talk, so say something!” Viktor demands, curling his hand into a fist and bumping it into Jayce’s chest. “Curse me, scold me, tell me I’m a terrible person, just don’t be nice to me after everything I've done. I don't deserve it.” He holds his curled fist in place over Jayce’s roaring heart. “I never did.”

Jayce gives Viktor a moment to breathe before pulling him into his arms. It’s a slow process, the same slowness one would use to approach a wounded stray cat. One step at a time, inching his arms around his partner until they rest along his back and pull him closer.

Viktor pushes back at first, using his fists to keep a solid distance between the two of them.

But the closer Jayce gets the more his resolve melts. 

“I think you do, but at the end of the day, it's not a matter of whether either of us deserves this, because there's plenty of reason why we don't,” Jayce starts, keeping his voice low to not scare him. “What matters is this: do you want this, Viktor? Do you want this second chance at life with me?”

Viktor hides his face in Jayce’s chest and shakes his head.

 “You’re so stubborn and optimistic it hurts.”

“It’s part of my charm.”

He lets out a long breath. “Why do you keep saying stuff like that?”

Jayce trails a hand up Viktor's back to cup his head. “Like what?”

“Soft stuff.”

He smiles. “Because you–”

“Deserve it, so you’ve said.” He groans.

Jayce decides not to push his luck and stays silent, holding Viktor close to him. It’s so nice having him in his arms where he knows he’s safe. The world can’t hurt him like this. 

 “Can I ask you something?” Viktor whispers after a while.

Anything. “Yes.” 

He clears his throat. “When we were in the Hexcore I…I saw into your memories.” Viktor talks slowly as if he's not sure how to word this. “Every moment we spent together, past and present. And…and there were so many moments, unimportant ones, small ones when your only focus was me. Mel could be standing there, talking to you, or some other hotshot politician and you were looking at me .” He finally, finally , looks at Jayce, and he's looking at him like he's seeing him, his friend, and not someone he's failed.“You keep saying we're partners.”

“We are.”

“You don't look at me like a partner.”

Jayce swallows. “No, I don't,” he agrees.

“Then what am I to you? Who am I to make you want this life?”

Jayce isn't sure what to say. Viktor is… everything . He's the very air he breathes, his endless equation, his missing half. He's always looking for answers, for reasons, but with Viktor, he feels like everything is how it should be. With Viktor he's himself. No one else has seen every side of him and stayed. Mel used him from the beginning, and his mom gave up on him that day in the council room.

Viktor was always the only one who stood by him. Every time he failed, Viktor helped him get back up.

He's already told him his life has meaning with Viktor in it, how else can he explain it to him in a way that will make him see just how much he means to him?

He holds Viktor's stare, desperately searching for the right words until they pierce his very soul.

It's a shot in the dark. Viktor could very well be scared off by the admission Jayce is about to give.

But he needs to know the truth.

“I'm in love with you,” he says. While the words are scary it lifts a weight in his chest that’s been there for years. A weight he’s been oblivious to for too long.  “Fuck, Viktor, I've been in love with you for so long. I used to be blind to it but now I… it's overwhelming how much I need you here beside me. I don't care about being ‘the man of progress’ I don't care about the lab, or the patents, or the recognition, or my name in some fancy journal. I care about you . Everything I worked for was nothing without you.”

The silence that follows is sharp enough to stab him. It slides between his ribs, twisting until it reaches his heart.

Please please please say something .

“Vik?” He loosens his hold on his partner to see him better. “I’m sorry if that’s not what you wanted to hear but–”

He freezes.

Jayce has known Viktor for many years, almost a decade if he is to guess, and never has he seen his partner cry.

Until today.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry. Listen, I’m sorry. I can’t take it back but I’ll ignore it if you’re uncomfortable. We can forget this happened, we can be nothing more than friends–”

“I just…I don't…I'm a terrible person . And after all this time you…you just…” He slips out from Jayce’s grip and into the room.

“You’re not a terrible person, V. I don't know when or how you convinced yourself that you are but you’re not. You're a person I want to always be around. And I’m right here. I have always been right here.”

“And so have I!” Viktor yells, turning back to him with a face full of tears. “I have been here the whole time so why now? Why is it that when I am at my lowest you decide to love me when I have loved you for years !” His mouth snaps shut. He hadn't meant to admit that.

Jayce falters. “...What?”

“Nothing. It's nothing.” Viktor looks toward the ledge.

Jayce grabs his wrist. “You love me?”

“Do I really need to fucking spell it out for you?” he snaps. “It’s amazing you were such a great inventor, you can't see what's right in front of you half the time.” Viktor pushes his palms into his eyes. “I can't do this right now. Let's grab something to eat. It's impossible to think on an empty stomach.”

“Are you sure you don't want to talk about this?” He keeps his grip firm on Viktor's wrist. 

“I'm sure let's…let's go. I can't stand to be here anymore.” He glares at the ledge and rips his hand from Jayce's hold. “Are you coming?”

I'll follow you anywhere .

“Yes.”

---

They buy some new clothes at a bargain bin store. It's cheap, simple stuff, but it's better than what they've been wearing for the last two days. 

After necessities, they make a small budget for themselves that they spend at a restaurant. They buy the cheapest items and dig in.

Viktor has yet to say anything of importance since they left the ledge. He's made small comments about the clothes, or the food, or the city, but nothing more than that.

To put it nicely, it's driving Jayce mad.

Viktor said he loved him, he's certain he did and that it wasn't his imagination, so why is he acting so nonchalant? Jayce's heart hasn't stopped thundering since the confession.

“This is quite good,” Viktor mumbles, shoveling a spoonful of soup into his mouth.

“Yeah, it is,” Jayce agrees, though he hasn't tasted it yet.

He's shared plenty of meals with Viktor before. They've gone out to eat and ordered takeout numerous times during their working career, yet this one feels so heavy.

Jayce wants to hold his hand, to scream, to kiss him stupid, or maybe he'll just self-combust.

What hurts the most is that he can almost imagine it, a domestic life with Viktor. Shopping, eating, walking, and working together. He never thought dreams could be so simple yet so out of reach.

Viktor's mind, like always, is a mystery to Jayce. Only the universe knows what he's thinking about right now.

Is his heart beating as fast as Jayce's? Are his palms sweaty? Does he want this as badly as he does?

They walk back to the hotel after their meal. The sky is slowly sinking into darkness above the great city. Jayce's slow step gives him the time to enjoy it more. The stars blink on above him and Viktor matches his pace. In times like this, it's the little things that make life worth living.

Viktor takes the first shower as Jayce waits on the bed. He stares blankly at the wall, listening to the muffled fall of water.

He can't keep avoiding topics with Viktor, or rather he can't let Viktor keep avoiding them. Sitting and stirring in his own thoughts is a curse for insanity. How can he possibly admit his love for him and then ignore him for most of the day? It's absurd.

“It's all yours,” Viktor says as he walks out of the bathroom. His hair falls in dark, damp clumps around his face. Similar to Jayce, he's opted for the complimentary robe as pajamas.

It's all too normal.

“Viktor,” he starts, pushing to his feet. “You said you loved me.”

Viktor folds the blanket Jayce gave him into a neat square which he then lay on the bed. His silence is suffocating. An eternity passes before he admits, “I did.”

Jayce can't help it, he starts laughing. “How can you be so calm about that?”

Viktor lets out a heavy sigh. “Jayce please, everything already hurts so much.”

“No, we’re not avoiding this. We need  to talk about this.” Jayce steps forward. “I love you too, V. And you're right, I am an idiot. I've loved you for so long and I never even knew it. I couldn't tell apart my feelings of admiration and love for you, although perhaps they were always the same thing…” He makes a mental note to curse himself later. “You say I learned to love you at your lowest, but I learned to love you at every stage, V. And I will continue to love you at every stage whether it be your highest or your lowest. All I ask is that you let me be a part of them.”

Tears have started to creep into Jayce’s eyes. He’s fought too hard to let Viktor go now, especially after finally learning he loves him.

Viktor wipes at his face with his robe. “You can't mean that.”

“I do!” Jayce insists. “I love you, Viktor. I love everything about you. I love your brain and how you're always up to solving a problem. I love how you're quiet around people you don't know because it makes me feel special when you talk to me. I love every mistake you've ever made, for better or for worse.” He takes another step closer, leaving less than a foot between them. “ I love you. Please let me love you. ”

Slowly, tentatively, he reaches for Viktor's face. It's a miracle he lets him. The skin of his cheeks is softer than Jayce imagined. His fingers melt against him, cupping him gently. 

“For years I’ve loved you in secret. I tried to stop, I tried so many times in so many ways, but it was always you in the end and now… now I'm a mess,” Viktor whispers. “Every time I close my eyes I think back to what I’ve done. My mind is constantly spinning and I see their faces everywhere. Sometimes I think I hear their voices stirring in my mind. I can’t… I can’t take it Jayce.” He looks at his feet. “I’m used to knowing the right choice and I'm usually so sure about everything, but ever since we woke up…”

“I know, V. I know.”

Viktor stifles a sad laugh. “You do, don't you? It’s like what you said about the gear. You’re my opposite yet you probably know me better than anyone, though idiot you may be.”

He lets his forehead fall against Viktor's. “I'm your idiot, and you're stuck with me no matter what universe you flee to. In this life and the next, I will follow you.”

“You stubborn fool.”

Jayce smiles. “Your fool."

Viktor's lips twitch for the first time in two days. “Mine.”

They stay there, foreheads melding together in solidarity. This type of intimacy is still new to them, and the last time they were like this was when they thought everything would end.

Now it's just beginning.

Jayce leans in very slowly to test the waters. He gives Viktor all the time he needs to pull away should that be what he chooses. 

But he doesn’t, so Jayce pushes on.

Their lips bump together in a gentle rhythm. As Viktor starts reciprocating it flows into a soft song.

Kissing Viktor feels like breathing, like a necessity. How has he gone so long without it?

Every fucked up thing they've ever done is laid bare in this kiss. Every flaw, every fleeting glance, is called to attention.

Silent conversations flow through their lips. Apologies, poems, and lyrics pass between them. There’s so much left to say, but at least they have this.

Viktor grabs the collar of Jayce's new shirt and holds it tightly.

The longer they kiss the more electricity sizzles between them, igniting sparks everywhere they touch. Jayce's hands are in Viktor's hair, and his hands are sliding between the buttons of Jayce's shirt.

“Vik,” Jayce gasps as Viktor kisses the sides of his face and moves to his neck. “Viktor – ah – we shouldn't go too far.”

Viktor pulls his head away to meet his eye. “Don't you want to?”

Is he seriously asking him that? “ Yes, of course I want to. But there's a lot we still need to talk about.” He brushes stray hairs out of Viktor's face. “You need to teach me how to love you before I make love with you. And when we do have sex, I want to take my time with you. I want to learn every dip and curve of your body and all the places you like to be touched.”

Viktor sighs in defeat, a gentle flush coating his cheeks. “I hate it when you're right.” This is the most himself he’s been since they awoke here. Jayce’s heart swells with hope.

He tugs Viktor toward the bed and  keeps his arms around him as they lay down “Because I'm an idiot?”

“Because it means I'm wrong.” He places his head atop Jayce's chest. “I still don't forgive myself for everything I’ve done–”

“I have.”

Viktor almost smiles. “And I still think I’m terrible–”

“I don’t.”

This time, he does. “We shouldn't have this second chance, or at least I shouldn't, and I stand by that.”  He traces circles over Jayce's heart. “But…you're right. Even if I don't deserve this, I want this. I've always wanted this.”

“That's…yes, okay. That's amazing.” He kisses the top of Viktor's head. “We’ll start there, and by the end of the year we'll have a life set up here, a life that's ours and no one else's.”

Viktor pushes his face into the crook of Jayce's arm. “I can't think that far in the future yet. It's still too dark right now. Tell me about tomorrow instead.”

“Tomorrow?” Jayce hums. “Tomorrow we'll…we'll go out and find some new parts for my brace and look for a job because soon we will be in desperate need of it.” He plants another kiss on Viktor's head. “We'll walk around the city, and maybe we'll eat the that same restaurant except this time–” he reaches for Viktor's hand– “this time I'll hold your hand in mine and we'll have a real conversation.”

Viktor lets Jayce's fingers slip between his, and he squeezes them. “I like the sound of that. I can do a tomorrow.”

Jayce smiles. “And the day after tomorrow?”

Viktor squeezes again. “One day at a time. Small steps.”

Jayce holds him tighter. “Small steps.”