Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The treat was the diameter of Sahed’s thumb. It was crystally green on the outside, confectioner’s sugar snowed on the top. It was candy, most definitely, but one he had not tried before.

That brunette, the one with the long legs and cornflowers for eyes, had given it to him. 

God, just, just– take it! 

She had had enough of his teasing, his compliments. He hadn’t actually wanted it, but a gift is a gift.

He took it. 

After examining it, he popped it into his mouth.

The outer shell was sour, like a green apple, that made the back of his mouth salivate. The delicious tart was quickly smothered by the warm caramel that bursted from the core. He could have moaned in ecstasy. 

He was about to deliver his praises to this divine delicacy, but she had already stormed away.

A sour outside that flared into a sweet, malleable inside once cracked.

It reminded him of the girl that had gifted it to him. 

Sahed needed more.

(Of both the girl and the candy.)

Chapter Text

It had worked. Julia and Sahed had figured it out.

They had finally untied themselves from the circus’ clutches. It was rewarding, it was freeing. There was a lot of kissing. She was in rapture. 

But there was something undone about their circumstances. An open-endedness, a thread in a hem that was hanging out, waiting to be pulled, waiting to destroy the integrity of their entire relationship.

Sahed was the one who ripped the string off. 

It made sense that he wanted to part ways, temporarily , as he put it. He needed to be alone. He needed to discover himself, by himself. Learn more about his own people, save them, revitalize the culture. 

He just couldn’t do it with her. 

He was sorry, full of tears, headache stricken. It was a tough decision, he had combed through for weeks. He loved her, he said over and over, but this journey wasn’t for her. 

It would be good for her, he hopelessly tried convincing her. She could learn more about herself.

It all went in one ear and out the other. Her mind was numb with grief. He had stolen her heart and wasn’t going to give it back. They were in lush Aspett when they secretly parted ways. 

She watched the rushing canals below her feet for a few days.  

Julia ended up going home eventually, the events of the circus explained away by a spur-of-the-moment youthful doubt. 

She got married to a man who was kind, law-abiding, straight-forward. Visually and internally, he was so opposite from Sahed, it was a relief. Absolutely nothing about him reminded her of the ah’kon. 

They had children together, four, all whom she loved and would do anything for, but secretly in the chambers and arteries in heart, she knew she was living a life that wasn’t hers. Not anymore, at least.

Julia’s remembrance of him would fade. She had become resigned. She would work hard and be a good mother, a good woman, like she ought to. 

But even in her dying moments, she couldn’t help but ruminate. 

This love she had was hers. Even if he was gone, gallivanting across Kalgratt, Bethied, or wherever he might be. Even if he didn’t love her back. If she had not a cent to her name, a candle to to hold,a. shirt on her back, she had their love.

Their memories were her prized possession in life.

(And they were his, too; but when he came to her hometown to rescue her, he saw a boy with blue eyes and bronze hair and an unmistakably familiar face mixed with another’s, and knew he was too late.)

Chapter Text

Sahed had an eye for beauty. Three of them, actually. And his keen eye would definitely categorize this lemon tree as quite beautiful.

The bark was a rugged, fawn color, streaked with darker sorrel, twisting within and upon tendrils like blonde hair in a braid. Cresting atop the trunk was thick, teeming sage leaves and a superabundance of bright yellow lemons, droplets of water slipping off, washed from a morning summer’s rain.

“Okay,” he said to Julia, who was absentmindedly admiring the tree with him. He squatted down in an awkward position. “Up you go.”

She grumbled something under her breath before approaching him.

“Complain all you want beautiful, but you wanted ‘fresh lemons’. Like you’re some chef.”

“I am making dinner for everyone for the first time, Sahed . I want it to be perfect.”

She hopped up behind him, wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he quickly caught her legs. They readjusted for a few moments, until finally he was firmly gripping the bottom of thigh and Julia had settled nicely in the lumbar of his back. 

“Ooh, yes, a splash of citrus for the pasta,” he mocked, but truly, his mind was wandering. 

Her legs were wrapped around him, tight, her breath in his ear, their warmth mingling. It was all so tantalizing. A piggyback ride wasn’t quite the context he would have wanted all that to be happening in, but he would take what he could get with her. 

A pluck sound thrumped in his ear, then another.

“Okay, that’s all I need. Put me down,” she demanded. 

“So soon?”

“Sahed, what are you doing–” 

He answered her question breaking fast in the other direction, running wildly, until they were tumbling in the grassy wildflower field nearby. Her laugh was like a thousand bells. 

(Lemons long forgotten.)

Chapter Text

“Lots of heads in here,” Kamille yelled above the thumping music. 

Lots of heads indeed. Too many, actually; Julia and her fashion-school-bound best friend were attempting to snake their way through a smorgasbord of sweaty, dancing bodies. Neon lights were strobing rapidly upon drywall, sparkly decorations that were strewn about in various states of distress, and if the patrons here weren’t dancing, then they were tongue-wrestling another lucky person against some wall. 

Not an ideal location for either. Julia, for obvious neurotic moral superiority reasons, and Kamille, a plethora of men who won’t stop being boring.

Alas, they were here for a reason. A mission, even. 

A senior in her Fashion Illustration class, Rainy or something like that, had invited her here. (Well, not invited exactly. More like off-handedly and vaguely heard it was happening.) And the future architect didn’t need to ask many questions to see that her friend was completely and utterly smitten.

She was going to go to this party with or without her, so she might as well just go with her. No point in leaving her precious Kamille in this dog kennel full of cretins and under-age drinkers. And this could also be an opportunity for Julia to size up this Rainier girl.

Like a cork popping from its bottle, they made it out of the horde, a bit forcefully as they finally reached the deck. “If she’s not out here, then she might not be here at all,” whispered the shorter of the two to herself, nibbling at her nail.

“It’s okay, you’ll see her in class,” Julia responded, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder as she absentmindedly observed her surroundings. The moon was glowing with life, and since this house was kind of on a hill, the downtown area sparkled below them. Factories in the far distance pumped clouds into the sky. She took a deep breath in, autumn cold indefinitely, tinged with smoke.

There were only a few people out here, clearly a much more tolerable crowd than inside. A ginger and her bulky boyfriend to the left, a group of guys talking amongst themselves a little closer to the door, a finally off to the right, a couple of rather attractive bohemian looking people, cigarettes hanging out of their lips as they looked into the city with a forlorn look in their hippie eyes.

Doing a bit much, aren’t they?

They had apparently seen the pair at the same time, as Kamille squealed. “Rainah’s right there, oh my God! 

She grabbed Julia’s hand and raced over towards them, excitedly piping up conversation between the woman and herself…

…which left an awkward cavern of silence between her and the man she was with. His eyes were glued to other women in indifference. Not actually interested in what they were saying, just something to occupy his eyes with. 

He was handsome. In a way she secretly liked. 

All her boyfriends from years past, and others who she had been paired with for one reason or another were sorts of straight-cut, clean shaven, pressed clothes, uppercrust accents, young men. Cute, of course, and undoubtedly valid, but deep inside, she found her heart skipping a beat at a different type of look. A different type of air.

A bad boy, to be frank. 

He definitely fit that bill, though she tried to be inconspicuous about taking periodic glances towards him.

Split dyed hair, strong square jawline. Eyes that were smudged with liner, gold and silver earrings on his nose, eyebrows, ears, lips. She wondered if he had one on his tongue. Or anywhere else for that matter. Julia was pretty tall for a girl, and even though his elbows were propped up on the deck railing and he was leaning back, she could tell he would tower over her. 

Her gaze made its way towards the rest of his body. An all black outfit with an ecclectic accessory here and there, and underneath a build that was clearly toned, legs that were long and boots that held up a clearly sturdy foundation. 

Humans have a creepy ability to know when they’re being stared at, she suddenly remembered from a psych class. She recalled this information, not only because she was staring at someone else, but because she was feeling like she was being watched as well.

Julia snapped her head and simultaneously shifted behind Kamille, her eyes meeting with his, a sight she could have gasped at if she wasn’t paralysed with embarrassment. 

He was searching her, probably thinking that she was a complete weirdo, until his expression twisted into something else.

A smirk tugged on his perfectly shaped lips, against the cigarette that was still fuming from his mouth, She retreated further behind her friend. 

(A house party was not where she wanted to meet her soulmate, but that didn’t stop the fact that it happened.)

Chapter Text

“You know,” the man said, a snarky infliction in his voice. “You don’t have to be in here while I do this.”

Julia shot him a scrutinizing glare, though he wasn’t looking at her anymore to see it. The blue light of the computer was highlighting his annoyingly perfect facial structure very well as fingers flying across the keyboard. 

“Yeah, like I’d let a criminal like you in here by yourself.”

“A criminal who’s helping you ,” he sang, until he shivered in fake disgust. “Besides, your gun is totally ruining my workflow.”

She huffed, reaffirming her defensive firearm position and resumed her post, watching the hallway for anyone walking by. 

He was right, though. 

Not about the gun, she was definitely keeping that out in case they got caught, but rather the criminality of it all.

Normally, she wouldn’t stoop down to getting the enemy to help her in her conquests, this was the FBI for pete’s sake, but he was proving to be just as helpful as he was annoying (and attractive, she sourly noted).

There was quite literally no other hacker who could crack the Kalgratt code, and the time crunch to retrieve the Gremminger file from the Steinheimer Inc. was closing in on her. There was a country that needed saving, and a hefty promotion involved for whoever solved it. 

And to be fair to Julia, the man wasn’t really an enemy. A criminal, yes, but not an evil, ticking terrorist time bomb to the nation like Steinheimer Inc. is/was. 

Sahed operated on his own terms, not for the greater good of the people, but more leaning towards selfish self-interest. It was strange that he offered to do this for free. Nerve wracking, more like it.

But dammit, he was good. It’s like he broke into triple-fortified multi-millionaire security systems for fun. 

Which he had probably done once. Or twice.

It must nice to be so naturally talented and good-looking, Julia bitterly thought. She had to work really hard for her position; she wasn’t super athletic, she didn’t exactly know how technology worked (hence the hired hacker), her instincts weren’t all that sharp. She certainly didn’t have the looks.

All this to say, she had intact morals and she wanted to make the world a better place. That’s what made her a good agent.

If hiring this con-man was the only way to take down Steinheimer Incorporated and foil whatever plans they were soon to unleash, then so be it.

And if it had to be under the table, without the permission of her uppers, and with a wanted man, then so be that as well.

So far, no one had walked down the hallway of the room they were in, but as she chewed her lip thinking about her current situation, her hold tightened on the grip. 

Oh god, this was a terrible idea, she’s going to die, or worse, get fired–

“Got it!” he cheered, rather cutely, before dejecting the thumb drive. 

Julia let her shoulders relax and her brows unfurl at the news. “Great! Now give it to me, we can get out of here, and you can help me wire your payment to you and we’ll both go our separate ways.”

His easy grin shifted from celebration to something… sinister.

She felt her eyes widen, realization donning.

The conman was conning. 

“Give it to you ? Now why would I do that?”

She pointed her gun at him, but he didn’t even flinch at the movement. “We made a deal!”

“I don’t feel like doing tradesies with someone who’s pointing a gun at my face.”

“ Please! ” she cried. “You can’t let it fall into the wrong hands, it could destroy the world! You have the file, you know what’s going to happen!”

All he did was titter at her pleas. “I have a more lucrative offer to make.”

“I knew you were going to do this!” Julia burst, unassuming her defensive position and waving her gun around all over the place.

“You’re going to steal it and give it to the highest bidder,” tears began to weld in her eyes uncomfortably. “I should have never trusted you.”

His jovial, mischievous face turned into hurt.

She had smother the pity she felt at the sight, letting anger take control again, until he spoke.

“Well, that thought crossed my mind a couple times I admit,” to which of her accusations he was responding to she didn’t know, “but I wasn’t going to– ugh– sell it to someone else.”

“Oh.”

“I know what’s in this, Julia. Not good stuff. I was going to turn it over either way.”

Her brain was jumbled beyond comprehension. “Okay, so, so– What are you talking about? Lucrative offer?”

“I don’t know if you want to hear it.”

“I do!” Julia prayed to whatever God was out there that he could hear the desperation in her voice and indulge her.

This moment was not as intense for him as it was for her, as the instant she said that, his eyes lit up, his teasing smile returned. If he had a tail, it would be wagging. 

“You, me. Date. Then you’ll get your precious thumb drive and a promotion in your little bureau. Then, I’ll be out of your hair forever.”  

(He didn’t know she combed over his rap sheets a thousand times and got lost in the eyes of his mugshot.)

Chapter Text

Julia’s plan had needed some pre-arranging; first, she needed to locate Sahed’s mailbox in the office mailroom. After some light snooping (and secretly looking at the address on the discarded spam letters in his wire trash can next to his desk). 

Second, she needed to craft the perfect Valentine. Long laborious hours passed, and she was left with a small wooden heart, carved from a cherry jelutong. It was anonymous, most definitely, but after years of teasing about her wood-working hobby from her coworker, he would know it was her. 

He would know that she liked him.

Eugh . It was so embarrassing, shameful even, to submit to her feelings like this. Especially to him– he would be so smug about it, surely. 

But none the matter. Her plan was about to be executed and she needed to be calm. If she were lucky, their whole work-personal relationship wasn’t just pointless mocking, and he reciprocated. 

If this feeling wasn’t reciprocated, at the very least she could get this off her chest and lay it to rest. 

Great Bolingus, though, she hope Sahed felt the same.

February fourteenth was upon her. That morning, she woke up extra early, made sure her hair looked smooth and silky, her clothing ironed and pressed, tight but tasteful. Not one run in her stockings. 

You see, she had to look perfect in case he went to her desk and asked her out on a date. In theory, she looked good enough to go straight from work to a fancy restaurant where they could wine and dine and the like. 

If he even liked her, that is.

She arrived at work, a bit early like she liked to. He arrived a bit late, like he liked to, sharing a quick wink with her as he passed, looking ever-so delicious in his business suit. His scent was a mix of a cucumbery cologne, mixed with something addictive she could smell for hours. 

He was looking a bit more formal than usual, but she knew he had a mid-fiscal quarter meeting with some higher ups this afternoon. (She looked at his calendar while she was rifling through his trashcan– wow, she was creepier than she wanted to admit).

It provided a perfect time module for her to sneak into the mailroom, drop her wooden trinket in the cubby, and wait for his response. Julia was getting so giddy, she was smiling to herself (she heard Dotty gossiping about her to Bob, Tonny must have finally asked her out on a date! Whatever that was about).

The clock struck twelve. She let her head swivel one last time around the office, specifically towards his desk, and she saw no earrings or vitiligo-stricken white and black hair peeking out from the cubicle.

Her heart skipped a beat. It was time.

The brunette slipped the charm in the front of her blouse and made a hurried b-line to the mailroom. 

Her heart was more than skipping; it was doing cartwheels, gymnastics, acrobatics. This was exhilarating.

Finally in the mail room, she checked for any coworkers, but it was a ghost town. Perfect. According to plan.

She walked up to cubby 413B as she pulled her gift out of her shirt. Her hands had gotten sweaty, but it was time, you can do it Julia, be spontaneous and fun and chase after the things you love, or whatever Kamille said in her pep talk. 

Shaking, she opened the cubby.

And her heart that was once flouncing with joy sunk. It sunk past her ribs, through her intestines, down to the bottom of her stomach. 

There were so many Valentines in here. 

Red, passionate roses, long hand-written letters, pink and purple store-bought cards. Homemade crafts, not unlike her own. 

Surely, some of them were from friends, she tried convincing herself. 

But she knew. Sahed wasn’t one for friends, so there was only one conclusion in the intentions of these presents. Romance .

And with so many, Julia knew. She just knew. They weren’t on the same level at all.

She was plain, had little to no curve, a streak of agitating others. Unattractive , a word that hurtfully flashed in her mind. She stood no chance against whatever suitors he had. Why did she think she did in the first place? 

What would a measly piece of wood do to change that?

Julia hadn’t noticed, but she had been staring, her shoulders drooping with disappointment. 

Embarrassment almost being just as crushing as this failed escapade, she shoved her gift back into her shirt and hurried back out to the office.

Hopefully, no one would see the tears welling in her eyes.

The meeting had ended earlier than expected, much to Sahed’s delight. A headache was starting to build.

Now he could loosen his tie, finish his other tasks for the day, talk to Julia maybe, see what flustered reactions he could get out of her today.

A smirk was tugging on his lips at the thought of her. 

And speak of the cute little devil, he thought to himself as he passed the mail room. His headache was disappearing at the sight of her. Julia looked incredibly focused and she was– what was she doing? 

Her hand was totally down her shirt. 

Oh boy, she was never going to hear the end of this. 

How should he approach this? Maybe he could run up behind her with a ‘boo’, maybe come out of the shadows and ask ‘need help with that?’(as long as HR was around, of course). Either way, he would get the blushing backlash of the century. It would be glorious.

Just before he put his prank to action, her hand moved towards his mail bin. 

Which was odd.

Was it mail day? Was she the mail girl all of the sudden?

There was something in her hand, a wooden heart. It was very cute. She probably made it herself.

It clicked in his head.

Was it for him? 

What a pleasant surprise. He was almost certain Julia did not like him. Now she was giving him handmade gifts and looking exceedingly pretty today? 

His headache was all but forgotten. He needed to ask her out soon now that he knew this. Tonight maybe? They could go somewhere French, or maybe Italian. He could make her laugh and they wouldn’t have to talk about work. They could have a glass of really expensive wine neither of them could afford, stare deep into each other’s eyes, go back to his place and get really comfortable. 

Sahed realized after a few moments staring into the box that had not yet put the heart in. In fact, she looked rather dejected. It was utterly confusing.

She walked out of the room, glum. He left his mantle of a hiding spot and checked the cubby. Whatever could have been in there that made her so upset?

Maybe he had made her upset earlier that week and she regretted her decision last minute, or maybe she had opened the wrong box.

He really prayed that wasn’t the case. Sahed had been itching to get to know Julia more. At first she had gotten on his nerves a little bit, and he knew she felt the same about him, but her curiosity, efficiency, and integrity had left him starstruck. She was special, and deserved the world, grand gestures. 

She was most definitely attracted to him, the avoidance of eye-contact and furious burning on her cheeks contributing to this, but he hadn’t gotten the go-ahead for anything deeper than that. He wasn’t even sure if his teasings were helping or destroying their relationship. 

As he opened it, an explosion of color hit his eyes. Reds, pinks, purples. Flowers, notes, candies, hearts and– oh my gods it was Valentine’s Day.  

On any other occasion, seeing that he had this many suitors would have stroked his ego well and good. Hell, he probably would have pursued a few of these lucky people if they were who he thought they were, but right now?

He would have traded all of them away just to have Julia’s little heart in his hand. 

(Sahed’s headache would return for a long while.)