Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The world is red through the eyes of monsters.

He saw everything through a lens drenched with blood, thick and hot. There was no dramatic wording in that description either; the man quite literally saw everything in shades of red. Specifically, when he was angry the magic surged through him as fast as adrenaline did, and the hotspot for magic being his eye and all, the only color he could see during battle was a pure dark bloody red. 

Colors can drive one mad. Colors require balance. Take that away, and quickly you’ll realize how necessary colors truly are. Methods of torture involve color, Horror knew people who had gone clinically insane due to white torture. Red was his white. He felt very much like a bull in a cage, he was treated like one at least. The color red aggravated him in his already restless and hopeless state of being. His own magic, or his stolen magic rather, hated him so much even it worked against him and drove him further into madness. It was always his last straw, that color. 

When Horror began to see the color red in battle, he knew all hope for self-control was over. The magic produced by his stolen eye was not his own, it had no escape and the rage that came with that just made him more aggressive. If he had flesh, he would want to rip it off piece by piece. But digging at the sides of his ribcage was all he could manage. That is, only if he couldn’t redirect that rage onto someone else productively. Or at least, productively in his Boss’s cruel watchful eye. 

Horror’s rage was a tool. He was the metaphorical muscle. The brawn. He was definitely not the brain of the team, as smart as Horror may be, no one saw him that way. No one respected him for that. When people thought of Horror they thought about how he could rip a skull in two with his bare hands, not about how he used to be a scientist. He was nothing but a weapon to be used, sharpened, and controlled. That deepened his anger, and as much as Horror hated it, he understood. He had become this. On purpose or not, his anger was only fed more by that fact, and he proved everyone who thought he was a monster–a true monster– right. 

He saw red. 

He saw red when he fought. And he fought with all his might. His axe was firmly pressed against another skeleton’s vertebrae. 

If he couldn’t go home, neither could they. The helplessness of his situation only fueled the fire in his soul, the violence he tried so hard to surpass had less and less trouble surfacing the more he thought about it. The longer he was subjected to this all.

There was shouting. From behind him. From above him. From the side and in front. Horror didn’t care. When this familiar red-hot rage consumed him it was all he knew. Rage was an addiction Horror couldn’t be rid of even though he so desperately wanted to be. He was told he was rageful. Now he proved them all right. And he hated every second of it. 

Usually, the red didn’t go away until Horror passed out from exhaustion or something. People learned to avoid him like a rabid animal. They did that anyway. He was like a beast, kept in a cage, starved and neglected, and then used for whatever nefarious purpose the owner desired with absolutely nothing in return. No compensation. Just… rage. He hated being treated like an animal. But that’s how everyone saw him. And what reason did he give them to think otherwise? 

What reason did they give him to act otherwise?

But this time, the red faded quicker than usual. Or rather, when he came too, it was no longer there. He had blacked out. But he couldn’t remember how, where, or why. One second he saw the bloody red rage and he had a firm grip on his axe’s handle the next he didn’t even have an axe. God damn, he had almost had that Star for good. Swap was as good as dust with the grip he had on him–

 It took many long moments for Horror to come to his surprising new reality. There was no one pressed underneath his axe. There was no shouting. There was no snow even. He wasn’t even in Snowdin…

Horror’s eyelit flicked to the first sign of movement. He bristled like a defensive cat and was ready to attack it in a moment. 

Just blood, dripping slowly down onto the soft light petals of a sunflower. 

Horror blinked and slowly but surely reached for his skull. He found the source of the trickle right above his brow bone, someone had struck him right above his one precious red eye. 

He stood there, surprised. Shocked even. 

His very own blood fell from his head with a soft patter. 

Tap, tap, tap. 

He tried hard to think what could have happened. But he could have sworn it all happened in a flash. Even when you’re knocked unconscious, usually you’re aware. He had a gap in his memory. Perhaps he had received more than just this little cut?

Horror slowly brushed the back of his skull instinctively with the palm of his hand. Instantly he withdrew with a quiet hiss of pain. He had been hit there for sure. That perhaps, could explain why he was so disoriented, he assumed, and perhaps why he didn’t remember getting there. 

He looked back down at the sunflowers splattered with his own dripping blood. The soil beneath his feet, the foliage, the fact that there was an open sky… he wasn’t even in the same AU he remembered.

With a sudden rush of adrenaline, Horror realized he had lost his team. He frantically looked from side to side. The only one who could travel AU’s was Nightmare. If he wasn’t here, then Horror was stuck. 

He ran. Horror ran even though his skull made him want to tip over and puke. He ran, shouting, hollering even, looking for his team. But nobody came…

Horror stopped running. This field seemed endless. When he had no energy to run any farther, when he had nothing left to scream, he gave up. 

He was lost. Or maybe Nightmare had left him… no… Nightmare would never be so kind. They had a contract, and Nightmare had every intention of making Horror fulfill his side of the deal. So, he was lost.

Dread consumed Horror slowly. It crawled into his ribcage like an unwanted parasite. Wriggling and forcing its way inside. He was terrifed. 

He was stuck, on a random AU, without a way home. Terror wasn’t an uncommon emotion for Horror nowadays but he sure hadn’t felt this terrified in a while. See, feel it enough and you become a bit numb to terror, or at least, you know how to cover it up better. Nothing could have prepared Horror for this type of terror though. 

He had no hands in his situation, at least before he had some form of control. If something went wrong it could partially be his fault. If something went right, well he made a difference. Right now, he couldn’t help anything.

Horror sat there on his knees for a long while, the sunflowers went up to his chin when he sat there on the floor. They swayed in the light breeze. For a moment, Horror took notice of them and the yellow flowers captured his attention for longer than he meant them to. 

The momentary terror seeped away when he slowly realized the opportunity that lay before him.

If there was one thing he learned in that damned team of his, it was that bad things often offered up good things as compensation. With Nightmare’s team, came the Star’s, and with Destruction came Creation. No bad existed without good and no heroes could be made without villains. 

He was stuck here, yes, and that was bad. But only concerning his brother and his world back home. Except– here’s the kicker– he hadn’t been allowed to see them in years. They had received none of the protection, food, and compensation Nightmare had promised in return for Horror’s service. They could be dead. 

Nightmare assured they weren’t, he said that he checked in on them. But, if Nightmare had lied about all those things he owed Horror and his home, then he could lie about that too. Paps was as good as dead, Horror knew in his soul it was true. Good as dead was putting it too lightly too… Horror also knew that. He was gone. His whole world… was gone. The only difference between the loss of his home and Dust and Killer’s was that he wasn’t there to see it. He was useless in the process of losing it. His biastander inactivity had led to death. 

So, he was stuck here, yes, and it was… not so bad. There was nowhere to return. Except for Nightmare. And he didn’t want to go back there. In fact, this was the type of miraculous opportunity to escape Horror had been dreaming hopelessly of. 

He was… free.

The chances of Nightmare finding him there were small. As good as his Negativity powers were, if Horror was truly lost, the range of Nightmare’s powers would be minuscule and irrelevant in the vast ever-expanding size of the Multiverse. 

Horror blinked, staring at the sunflower swaying. “I’m… out.” He whispered, almost not believing he could have ever uttered those words. First the Underground, then Nightmare, he had never known freedom like this. It seemed unthinkable.

He laughed. It went from a small chuckle to a full-on cackle in a matter of seconds, he could hardly breathe. By accident, and he couldn’t even remember how he had escaped. He was finally free and ironically enough he had done nothing to earn it. Animals were meant to be caged, Nightmare had said! But by god Horror was free! 

A sunflower stem snapped and in an instant Horror was on top of someone. He hadn’t even had time to think before reacting. He was already pinning them down to the ground, his laughing had ceased instantly. 

The person yelled. Logically. As most people do when they’re tackled by a stranger who's cackling like a madman in a field of sunflowers. Horror was used to protesting when he attacked but this skeleton– they were a skeleton– was… scolding him???

“I-” Horror got up and let go. He let the monster get to their feet and backed away. He cursed himself. The first moment of freedom he gets he uses it the same way he did when he was captive. Wonderful habit he had developed there… just lovely. 

“AH HAH! So you speak English?! Maybe that’s why you aren’t responding! Well lucky for you, crackhead I’m fluent in English scolding too!” The skeleton yelled and Horror realized, dumbly, why he hadn’t been picking up what they were saying before. He thought his lack of understanding had come from the adrenaline rush. “What are you doing out here?!” They continued to rant in English this time.

“I was… sittin’?” Horror tried to think of an excuse, stammering at the unusualness of this confrontation. The more this stranger scolded him the more uncomfortable he got. Usually when someone had a problem with him they just… attacked him. Typically that was a more straightforward way of doing things, Horror had learned.

“I’ll have you know, this is private property. You can go ‘sittin’ literally anywhere else but this field!” He rubbed his brow bone irritably, pausing for a moment. He seemed to try and take a deep calming breath before saying, “... you’re obviously a lost foreigner so I should give you a free warning on this one–” He bit hard down onto the piece of straw in his teeth, losing the cool he had just gained, “But you tackled me like you intended to kill me! What’s up with that?!”

Horror blinked, taking a step back. It sounds silly, but he didn’t know how to react in such a… normal conversation. Sure, it may not be normal for the average person but his average conversation nowadays consisted of a lot more physical violence than scolding. 

“I-” He rubbed the back of his injured head, “I’m sorry…” He apologized for the first time in years. The words felt foreign on his tongue. Wrong almost. No one had deserved an apology from him in an argument for ages. Not that he knew what this person did to deserve one either. The word just slipped out. “I… don’t know where I am-”

Just like that, the other skeleton seemed to reluctantly calm down. Horror was baffled by the simplicity of it. He was almost weary of a surprise attack. Maybe this person was powering up to hit him real hard and he just was gaining time- “...Is it that… is it that injury on your head?” The stranger guessed immediately, pointing to the missing chunk of Horror’s skull. “Do you have a concussion or something?”

Horror shook his head, “No, no. That’s long since healed…” He answered quietly. The civility of his words and the softness in his own tone startled him inwardly. “But, I think I hit the back of my skull…” He absently rubbed it. “I don’t know how I got here.” That wasn’t a lie, at the very least. Horror had absolutely no idea how he had arrived there. 

A sigh was uttered from the other skeleton, He closed his sockets, thoughtful for a moment and then he waved for Horror to follow, a bit grumpy about it but reluctantly set on his decision, “Come on, follow me.” He beckoned.

Horror sat there on the ground, not following. If Nightmare had taught him one good thing it was to never trust anyone. He had taught Horror that by being the prime example of the worst outcome when you do. 

“My name is Saejun Park.” The other skeleton introduced himself when he noticed Horror not bothering to stand. He frowned, “And you’re sitting on my flowers.”

“You got a field of ‘em, so what?” Horror mumbled, eyeing the man.

With a snap of his fingers Saejun had Horror up on his feet and rubbing his pelvis in pain. Horror was immediately put into fight or flight again and he had to bite hard on his tongue to stop himself from tackling the farmer again. “What the funk was that?!” He snapped at the man.

“If you don’t show manners, neither will I.” Saejun said rolling his bright green eyelets. “Listen, I ain’t the courteous type naturally so any kindness I show you is me putting a lot of effort in. So you aughta put some effort in too. And I asked you to not sit on my flowers.”

Horror gritted his teeth, “You used a bone attack on me!” He accused.

Farmer shrugged, “Nope, but keep guessing. Maybe one day you’ll know.”

Horror frowned. That had to have been magic. And he had never met a skeleton in the entire multiverse who didn’t summon bones from the ground. Not AU-based codes at least. This guy was either bluffing about it not being a bone attack or he was one in millions. 

 “Let’s try this again, shall we?” Saejun tried once more, taking another deep breath and resuming with a bright warm smile, “What’s your name?”

“...Horror.” He answered, eyeing the other skeleton still. “My name is Horror.”

Saejun huffed what seemed like a cross between a laugh and a ‘How fitting’ humph. “Interesting name…”

“Farmer…” Horror muttered, his words slurring more than he meant them to. Perhaps he was a little more disoriented than he knew. 

Saejun turned to him, “What?”

“You look like a farmer.” Horror commented stupidly, his head hurting the more he tried to speak. He really shouldn’t have tried to run earlier. 

“Wow, okay smart guy,” Saejun responded sarcastically as if to reference his stereotypical western farmer get-up, though he was ethnically Korean, presumably. He had a plaid shirt rolled up to his elbows, big rubber muddy boots, gloves, and overalls. And he even adorned a certain iconic straw farmer hat. He was as plain as a farmer could be. “That’s right, I am a farmer. How’d you guess?” 

“Okay, I get it.” Horror scoffed, following the man as he started to walk away. Out of spite, he tried to trample as many flowers as he could as they walked along, only when Saejun wasn’t looking that is. “I’m stupid, that was obvious. Don’t give me any of that sarcasm.”

“Sarcasm is my middle name.”

“I doubt that somehow.”

They seemed to approach the top of a hill and on the other side, they could spot a big farmhouse and fields upon fields of crops all surrounded by forest. Horror had simply run in the wrong direction in the sunflower field. If he had gone the other way, he would’ve hit a barn or something. 

“...that’s a lot of…” Horror was astounded by the entire sight of the farm but one thing stuck out in his mind, “...food.” He said, in awe. He wasn’t certain he had ever seen so much food in one place his entire life.

“Uh…” The Farmer eyed him a little, confused by his utter amazement. It was as if he hadn’t eaten in seven years! “Yeah. That’s typically what farms have on ‘em.” He turned out to gaze at his fields, “And we’re not the only ones. All our neighbors out here in the country are farmers. All types of farmers. We do crops and animals, but the village mayor down the street does more crops than us by far. He specializes in ‘em.”

They passed through fields of rice and Horror salivated uncontrollably. He wasn’t even hungry. Nightmare kept him well-fed ever since he made Horror work for him. But he couldn’t stop himself when he saw food now, it was an instinctual reaction now– hunger. No matter what, Horror would never be full again.

“Anseung Go is his name,” Rambled the farmer skeleton as they walked, “But his kids call him Asgore. And most of us do too.”

“Are we… in Korea?” Horror asked, feeling stupid even though he knew there was no logical way for him to have known that already. He didn’t even know which AU he was in.

Saejun looked at him with a worried expression, “Yeah. You know, where monsters moved when humans started havin’ issues with us? Why, it was only a couple of years ago- kind of a big ordeal and all…” 

He had the type of expression that Horror could only read as pity. He thought for sure that Horror must have hit his head harder than he thought. Saejun probably thought he was helping out some poor confused monster, but he had no idea who he was dealing with. Why Horror was so sick of being seen as stupid and confused, he just wanted to rip that smug look of pity off his face- 

Horror swallowed hard. He didn’t need to be thinking so maliciously, the logical part knew. The part that was smart. The part of him that was so often ignored, often times even by himself. Horror stopped glaring at the farmer. He hadn’t even realized he was doing that.

“Mustta slipped my mind…” Horror mumbled.

Saejun raised a brow bone, but soon enough he turned away with a shrug. He seemed thoughtful as they passed by what looked like barns and approached the farmhouse. Finally he offered a deal, stopping and meeting Horror’s eye, “You’re clearly in need of some help. Housing, food, medicine, or whatever-”

“I am no–” Horror’s initial reaction was to deny. Asking for help was pitiful. Asking for help was admitting defeat and admitting defeat was being seen as weak. If you’re weak you’re disposable. If you’re disposable, you’re dust. 

Saejun put a hand up, stopping Horror mid-sentence. Horror gritted his teeth hard, trying not to risk his newfound freedom by alerting Nightmare with his sheer amount of Multiverse-level rage. “You also stepped, squashed, and killed a bunch of my sunflowers. So, I have a proposition for you.”

“I don’t do deals.” Horror seethed carefully. Deals were never good. Never ever. The one bargining always lied. No acceptions. At least, he wasn’t willing to give any. 

Saejun crossed his arms and leaned against the door of his farmhouse they had ended up at. “Well you don’t got much of a choice skull crusher. You owe me. I know you bumped your skull and all but around here it’s an eye for an eye. You hurt something of mine, you owe me. Fair is fair. I’m giving you a good deal by offering you even more stuff in return.”

“What exactly are you wanting’ me ta do fer ya then?” Horror prodded slowly. This guy surely saw him as a weapon. Most noticed his big stature, his sharp teeth, blaring red eye, and jagged claws, and assumed he was tool of mass destruction. He was. But he didn’t like that much. 

Saejun clapped his hands together with an emphasis that made Horror jump a little for whatever reason. “Just replant those sunflowers and help them grow back, good as new.”

Horror squinted, “Are you serious?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Seajun asked, confused. “I felt it was reasonable to ask.”

“I…” Horror frowned, “I attacked you, crushed your flowers an’ you’re offerin’ ta let me stay in your house, eat your food, and take you medicine if I just… replant the flowers?!” 

Saejun put a finger on his chest and lightly shoved, surprising Horror with the weakness of his push. He had meant to be firm, yet it was more gentle than anything he’d felt in a very long time. “Like I said earlier, Horror, I ain’t the cortious type normally. So take a good thing and leave it alone. Don’t question good fortune.”

“I should question good fortune when it comes ta a complete stranger who don’t owe me nothin’ but a good sucker punch but instead is offerin’ me a bed in his house.” Horror defended, suspicious, “You could be plottin’ ta dust me for all I know. I oughta be suspicious!”

Saejun blinked, a bit taken aback, “Plottin- dust? Geez, what type of place do you come from? Listen, I’m not the kindest guy in this town, that’s my brother, but I got a soul. I’m not gonna dust you! I’m just trying to help a guy out. Plus, who in their good concious could let a guy like you walk around like that? You got a skull chunk missing!”

“I told you that’s not a problem. It healed a long time ago.”

“Again, where is it you come from that makes you act like it’s so normal?!” Saejun looked a little scared of Horror as he said that. Horror noticed the sweat on his brow and that certain familiar shake of his legs. He was used to the common people being terrified of him like this. “How does that even happen?!”

Horror wasn’t sure why he did it, perhaps it was just to avoid answering that personal question, but instantly he said, “-Whatever I’ll plant you’re stupid flowers. You happy?”

“Pfft- you’re acting like you’re the one doing me a favor.”

“I don’t wanna be here. I dunno why I'm here at all.” Horror scoffed, “I’m just tryin’ ta shut you up.”

Saejun humphed, opening the door with a glare towards Horror, “Piggybacking off your comment earlier about offering you a bed: You’re sleeping on the couch.” He smirked devilishly as Horror sighed. 

Chapter Text

This story begins and ends in a sunflower field. 

Sunflowers are important symbols in many human cultures scattered throughout the globe. They often symbolise hope, positivity, or warmth. Well, when it comes to monsterkind, the meanings are a little more specific.

They represent freedom. Sunflowers require… well… the sun to grow and there isn't much sun in the Underground. That's where the humans threatened to put them when things got bad. So monsters chose freedom before it could be stripped away from them. They chose the rural simple life over that deep dark cave. 

Horror didn't much like sunflowers. He didn't see the appeal of any flower actually and he certainly had no clue why the flowers meant so much to Farmer. 

“Don't be so rough with them.” Saejun pressed, glaring. “Even now you have to be gentle, these are living things.” 

Horror groaned, holding up the seed in his dirt covered hand, “This is a seed. Not a plant. It's gotta shell.” 

Farmer glared more pointedly, reminding Horror of the precarious position he was in. He didn't want to admit it, but this guy had given him a good hot meal and a nice place to sleep. Plus some nice pain meds that helped with his headache. The way Saejun treated him was much nicer than how Nightmare did and he unfortunately had no better options but to stay on Saejun's good side to keep that up. 

“Fine.” Horror grumbled, more carefully sticking the flower into the dirt. Instead of flinging the dirt on and smacking it he locked eyes with the farmer and pointedly pushed the dirt on top veryyyyyyyy slowly. “Is that good enough for you, farmboy?” 

“It will do.” Saejun sighed. “I shouldn't have to ask you to be so careful though. Do they not teach manners where you're from?” 

“No. They do not.”

Saejun picked up the bag of fertilizer and heaved it over to Horror with little effort. He was much stronger than he looked and that was saying a lot because he looked strong. “Care to expand on that comment?” 

“No.”

Saejun sighed in response, “Yeah, didn't think so.” He didn’t seem to think at all as he scooped the fertilizer onto each of the newly planted spots. It was like a motion he had repeated a million times. He kept talking, “You got some secrets I can tell. But don't make it my problem, got it?” 

“Whatever.” Horror mumbled. 

“Help out, will you?” Saejun gestured to the bag, “That's what the deal is, remember?” 

“I'm not touchin’ that shi-” 

“Language.” 

“Ah, shut your trap.” Horror grunted, “You're a country boy, don't pretend like you care.” 

“I don't but Pilsu does. So practice not being a delinquent all the time, don't you?” 

Horror scoffed, “You got some nerve fer bein’ a skeleton, Farmer. We just met an’ you're insultin’ me left and right. Who's ta say I won't rip your spine out for that, huh?” He had no intention of actually doing so but the intrusive thought passed through his mind, like a glimpse of that red hot rage. 

Saejun shrugged, “You won't.” 

He said it with such confidence it took Horror off guard. “Why- you don't know that. Stranger danger an’ all that? Your parents teach ya nothin’?” 

“I didn't have any of those growing up.” Farmer responded softly, “It's always been just me and Pilsu. And my brother always helps everyone. No matter what. He's got this naive sense that there's good in everyone, see? And I try to see it too when I can.” 

Horror was silent for a moment when he found himself uttering the question, “Why?” 

Saejun was careful to respond, focused on his work, “I find that oftentimes, if you look hard enough, there's beauty in everything. Some people just have easier times than others seeing it. Even now, I struggle to See things like Pilsu does. He's… well he's got a good soul. But sometimes I worry…” 

He was quiet for a moment before he shook his head and continued, getting out of his momentarily trance, “I’m learning to trust my gut. It's a happy medium between naivety and plain pessimism. I think balance between blind trust and suspicion can be found.” 

“...trustin’ me seems like you're leaning towards blind trust.” Horror said, tone low and heavy. He could feel his fingers digging into the cold dirt below. He had used those fingers to rip out the throats of humans and monsters alike. Trusting him was trusting your demise.

Saejun shrugged, “Maybe. You do say a lot of odd things. You got a mysterious dark backstory you won't talk about, even though I found you trampling my fields with a concussion, and you tackled me on sight…” He sighed, “Buttt my gut says you're safe. So, who's to say?” 

“You don't have a gut.” Horror frowned, “Ya can't trust what ain't there.”

“Figure of speech my dear friend, figure of speech. You ever gone to school?” 

“Did you?” 

Saejun flushed ever so slightly, enough to make Horror proud about calling him out, “No.”

“Yeah, well me neither.” Horror snorted, “I didn't have time, same as you.” 

“You don't seem like the farming type, what's your excuse?” Farmer frowned, crossing his arms for expressiveness. 

“My excuse is a whole lot more worthy than yours, I'll say that.” Horror huffed. 

“Hey now, let's not compare issues. It's not healthy.” Saejun waved it off, “Plus, I don't suppose you're going to tell me anything anyway, so don't tease.” 

Horror groaned and didn't respond. He had him there, that was true. 

Saejun completed his task and stood up, wiping his brow of the sweat that had collected there, admiring the work they had done. Horror looked at it and saw nothing but a bunch of piles of dirt. He didn't see anything marvelous about it besides the fact that the dirt was habitable for plants in this AU compared to his. Saejun looked entranced by it though. 

“Alrighty, I've gotta do other chores now. The barn cats probably want out.” Saejun sighed and waved Horror to follow him, “Come on.” 

Horror frowned, “I'm not gonna help ya. That's not what I signed up for.” 

“Yeah, well you don't exactly have many other entertainment options here buddy. We got the farm to take care of and that's it. You don't have to help but I need to keep a socket on you in case your concussion makes you even crazier or something.” 

“So, what? I'm supposed to just sit around an’ watch ya do the work?” Horror asked, hurrying to catch up to the man who was somehow walking faster than him despite carrying two fifteen pound bags of fertilizer in each hand. 

Saejun shrugged, “You've basically been doing that already. What's the problem?” 

“I don't want to!” Horror exasperated, he felt like that was obvious.

“Then help and it will be over faster.” Saejun smirked, before turning and saying nothing more. 

“You sly bastard…” Horror seethed under his breath. This guy was trying to make an easy stupid farmhand out of him. Horror could smell the manipulation from a mile away, he wasn’t stupid. He was not stupid. 

There were several barns on the farm. One housed pigs, animals that ate enough to make Horror feel sick watching and the other housed cows. Horror only knew of these creatures in regards to Cross, who was terrified of them. Oftentimes they would make fun of him for it, or say, Killer would and they joked that that was the reason Cross left them. Horror doubted that, though the cow bullying probably didn’t help.

Horror did end up helping, but Saejun wouldn’t even let him do any of the heavy lifting, something about him having a concussion and whatnot. Horror thought he just wanted a chance to show off. That guy could lift a hay bail with no sweat, it caught Horror off guard.

 He had never felt weak in comparison to anyone before, he was used to being the powerhouse, the strong one and by extension, the weapon. But here, he was just some guy that could do the chores that Farmer didn’t want to do, like shovel the manure, which made Horror a lot less mad than he expected to be the more he thought about it. 

By now they were leaving a coop. Horror wasn't one for cats but he preferred the barn cats and the reminiscent smell of Killer rather than chickens pecking at his bare knees. Horror was carrying one basket of eggs and the farmer had the other one. There were indeed a lot more chickens than seemed necessary. 

Horror wanted to complain about something, he didn't know what, but being allowed to complain was new and he wanted an excuse to use that privilege It seemed. 

As soon as he thought of something to complain about though he was silenced by a firm gloved hand on his mouth. 

Horror pushed him away, “You've got dirt on those gloves-” He tried to complain but yet again Saejun covered his mouth. 

“Shhh-” He pleaded quietly. Horror's first instinct was to snap his wrist off or something but when he followed the bright green gaze of the farmer he found himself letting the rage ebb and flow away. “There she is.” Saejun said in awe, looking into the meadow beyond the coop. 

In the meadow surrounded by forest, there was a brilliantly colored creature that Horror had never seen. Half of it looked like some monsters he'd seen in Waterfall before, but not all of it. 

It was black save for a patch of white fur in the shape of a star on its long nose. It galloped on four sturdy legs. Even Nightmare would probably praise this beast for it's grace, and if nothing else, it's strength and usefulness. It was fast, and the muscle definition was astounding. 

“W-” Horror pulled Saejun’s hand away from his mouth again, this time a lot more gently. He too was now staring. He had never seen something like this. To be fair, he had never seen cows, pigs, or chickens either. But none of those struck him to be as beautiful as this. “What is that?” He asked, dumbfounded and quiet. 

“A beauty isn't she?” Saejun said, adjusting his straw hat to squint and see the creature better despite the setting orange sun. “She's the prettiest horse I've ever seen. But we haven't been able to break her, me and Pilsu. Half the time we can't even get near her, she escapes our property a lot. I thought she was gone for sure.” 

“A… horse?” Horror gaped, setting down his basket of eggs and trying to get a closer look by approaching the wire fence twelve feet away or so that horse was behind. 

Saejun put a hand out, stopping him, “She's easily spooked, I wouldn't.” 

“I wanna look at her.” Horror frowned, “I've never seen anythin’ like this before.” 

Saejun raised a brow bone, “What? You mean a horse?” 

Horror shook his head, “No, never.” 

“Well I'll be.” Saejun chuckled lightly, “Horses are wonderful if they want to be. But her? She doesn't like anyone. She won't let you look at her, let alone ride her.” 

“You can ride horses!?” Horror exclaimed, astounded by the notion. 

He never understood Killer and his obsession with cats or Cross and his fear of cows. Animals meant nothing to him besides a possible source of food that never came. But horses? He had never seen nor heard of them before and they apparently were the best creatures out there! 

Of course, Horror ruined it by shouting. The mare shot her head toward them, saw the pair and instantly sprinted away and was soon gone from view. Horror frowned and Saejun sighed, “Welp, there she goes again.” 

“Sorry…” Horror muttered. More so he was sorry to the creature for startling it. 

Saejun shrugged, “Like I said, she's jumpy. If you want to know more about normal horses you should talk to my brother. He loves horses. That's why he wants to tame that one so bad. He thinks it'll make him cooler. I keep telling him that he's already cool, but hey, nothings gonna stop my bro.” 

“Your brother sounds a lot like mine…” Horror said quietly. 

“Oh yeah? You got family, Big Guy?” Saejun seemed a little too excited to get some insight into Horror’s personal life. 

Horror shut that excitement down with the cold hard truth. Saajun had to understand, even if Horror told him everything there was to know about him, he wouldn't be satisfied. There was nothing satisfying about Horror or his past. “Not anymore.”

Saejun stopped chewing on his stupid little hay piece and looked back at Horror with a stunned sort of pity, “Oh…” 

“No need to feel sorry fer me or nothin’.” Horror grumbled, picking up the basket of eggs and starting to walk in the direction he had learned the farmhouse was, “I ain't lookin’ fer pity.” 

“It's not giving you pity to have empathy.” Saejun huffed, “Don't try and dictate how I feel about things.”

“I'm not tryin’ ta dictate how ya feel about things. Just how you feel about me. I don't need anymore supposed favors, I don't need help, I'm not stupid. I'm my own person. So don't treat me like I'm somethin’ to be pitied.” Horror grumbled a bit, airing out some things he'd pent up for ages. 

Saejun was ahead of Horror somehow and Horror ran face first into him with a thump, “What the-” 

“Listen, once again, I don't pity you. I don't not pity you. Just like I don't trust you or not trust you.” Saejun had a hard cold stare. Those green eyelits of his bore into Horror’s red one, making him tense up. “No offense, but you're not as special or different than you think you are. You're no main character of any story and I'm not any sort of villain trying to use you for your powers or whatever. So leave your delusional pessimistic fantasies out of our conversations, got it stranger?” 

Horror was stunned for a moment. “I- that's the most long winded way someone has ever told me I'm not important.” He frowned. 

Saejun shrugged, “I find that nihilism can be healthy if you let it. Realizing you mean nothing lets you let go of all your fears. Nothing matters, so don't let any insubstantial shit get to your stupid cracked skull.”  

Horror smirked, “Thought you said we shouldn't curse.” 

“Fuck you.” Saejun grumbled. 

Horror smiled at that. He actually smiled. 

Chapter Text

The multiverse is by definition, a very large place. The concept altogether is hard to grasp, but the longer you live surrounded by its intertwining chaos, the easier it gets to ignore how weird it is that you’re supposedly talking to yourself. 

Horror never really was weirded out by that, as he never felt like any of the other ‘hims’ were actually him at all. Sure, they shared the same name oftentimes. But names in the multiverse were treated more as baseline code titles.

So great, you were the Sans of your multiverse, what else? What is different about you? Because there always is. In fact, there's always something so different that Horror can’t even consider you anything like him. 

If stories made people and everyone who was ‘him’ had different stories, personalities, families, friends, and lives. What was it about them that was so similar to him? Nothing really.

Ah, so they have a brother named Pap, too? Nope, they killed him. Horror would never. They weren’t the same person beyond the fact that they were both skeletons who were once called Sans. This Multiverse concept was so vast that the only people who were true versions of him were… well, him. Even another Horror wouldn’t have been through the same things as him.

So were they really the same at all?

Horror didn’t think so.

Still, no matter how many worlds Horror had been to, he always had an issue with the copies of his brother. Many were nothing like his Pap, just like many Sanses weren’t him. But something about looking at any one of them still shot a surge of guilt and rage through Horror. He couldn’t look a single one in the eye. The other two guys never had a problem dealing with them, they called him weak. They joked about it. He didn’t find it funny. 

Pilsu had a different name the same way Saejun wasn’t called Sans. But he was a Papyrus all the same. Usually, they looked similar regardless of the universe, though that varied too. Papyrus was tall, commonly, and in this universe, he had a red bandana on and a ‘coolest farmer guy’ tank top on with some shorts. He was the most similar variant Horror had seen to his own brother in a while. 

Imagine this for scale, dear reader: imagine that your dear friend passes away and that you randomly, in a store three years later, see their happy long, lost twin. They’re nothing like each other; they’ve lived completely different lives, and they never even knew you or each other. But you still get that gut-wrenching feeling like: That could be them. But it’s not.

That’s how he felt looking at Pilsu. 

So much so that Horror, despite how kind-hearted and friendly as Pilsu was just as Saejun said, excused himself halfway through their dinnertime meal to go outside. His excuse was to chop firewood. He wasn’t sure why his mind jumped to firewood, perhaps it was because he was used to doing it for Nightmare. Even though Nightmare didn’t get cold, he always found useless jobs to put the troop up to so he didn’t get bored of them being too relaxed.

This AU was beautiful, Horror had to admit. He very much liked it. Though, anything was better than Horrortale or Nightmare’s damned castle universe. 

Here, there were no cities for miles, presumably, and you could see the stars almost nearly as clearly as Outertale. The moon was out, barely a crescent and it made Horror relax a little. It was stupid, but Horror had this weird connection in his head of Nightmare and the moon. He could’ve sworn Nightmare was more powerful and had more wrath when the moon was full, he began to dread its peak. 

Breathing softly, Horror stuffed his hands in his pockets and kicked the dirt. Animals were never completely quiet, but at night time here, it seemed eerily quiet compared to the day, even if it was loud compared to the average place. 

Horror searched for the firewood-cutting stump he had passed by with Saejun earlier. Of course, his red eye had caught the glimpse of that axe. How could he not? Even now, Horror was alert at all times, he couldn’t help it. In Saejun’s kitchen, he watched the knives; in the barn, he noticed the sharpness of the pitchforks; and when planting sunflowers, he reveled in the stabbing prowess of a simple garden shovel. 

An axe was his chosen weapon. Horror found that he much preferred them to anything else; he liked a good, thick handle to hold. He liked the impactful swinging motion that brought a lot more punch to his attack. Magic for him was useless, but an axe never failed him before. So yes, he noticed the axe when they passed by.

Carefully, Horror picked it up off the side of the farmhouse where it was resting and ran his finger delicately along the edge of the blade. “You’re rustin’.” He whispered to it as if it could hear him. He found that he talked to weapons a lot. Why he didn’t know. Perhaps he just wanted someone to talk to who would actually listen. 

The axe, of course, didn't and would never respond to that. Simply put, it was just an axe. 

Horror went about his business chopping the wood. They didn't need it inside, Saejun had said as much. It wasn't even cold. But Horror needed to get away from that goofy tall one. 

Pilsu wasn't a great cook, not unlike Papyrus back home, but at least he had the opportunity to try. Horror could only feel the guilt rattle his ribcage when he thought about how he had failed his own brother in that way. 

Swinging the axe high above his head, Horror bore down with a swift and heavy chop, cutting the log down the middle cleanly on one swing with a crack. 

He'd split skulls that way and it made him angry that he had. Horror was not violent by nature, he had been made this way. He was forced to adapt, and no matter how hard he tried, he never adapted to liking it. 

Nightmare had made a killer out of him and Horror would forever hate himself for it. 

“You got experience with that.” A voice called from behind. 

Horror had them by the collar and up against the side of the farmhouse in an instant, axe pressed against their throat. 

Saejun's green eyelits met Horror’s again, but they shook, terrified. He yelped and squirmed, pushing Horror back off of him with a surprising amount of force. 

Horror stumbled back but didn't realize what he had truly done until the fear drained from Saejun's face and turned into anger, “What the fuck?!!?” 

Horror dropped the axe and backed up, momentary surprise and instinct immediately replaced with some sort of primal terror that had been programmed into him, one that feared most of all the wrath of his host. 

There was nothing Horror could say, his hands shook as Saejun screamed at him, rightfully so, “Again?! What is your problem?!? Come on, Horror, you really got to elaborate as to what the issue with you is, or else I'm gonna start trusting my real gut instinct.” 

There was silence.

Saejun was breathing heavily; whatever fear he had felt, he was covering up with an insurmountable amount of rage. It was as if Horror touching him had swapped their emotions. 

Crickets chirped and gravel crackled beneath Horror’s weight as he shifted. He was speechless until he realized, “Your real gut instinct?” He breathed, "You don't actually trust me..." 

Saejun blinked, momentarily confused by the question. That's when he realized what he had said. Instead of lying he bit down hard on his teeth and spoke his mind, loud and clear, “Why should I? Give me a reason, Horror!”

Horror clenched his fists hard, “I can't. Why are you even tryin’ ta convince yourself?” 

“Because if Pilsu can see that stuff in people, I should be able to too.” Saejun shouted, “I don't understand why I can't just naively trust that you're not some huge weirdo!”

“Probably ‘cause I am.” Horror grunted. He glared down at him, “Why try ta be like Pilsu anyway? I thought ya said you believed a happy medium between naivety and pessimism can be found.” 

“In theory, it can. But you're sure making it hard to know if it does in practice. You keep giving me reasons to believe you're a huge psychopath that I let into my home! Why are you even out here?! I told you we don't need firewood! I know Pilsu's cooking isn't the greatest but that doesn't give you an excuse to up and leave in the middle of dinner. Don't you know manners?! Or was this all to just get some head-chopping practice in?!” 

“I just needed some air-” Horror tried to excuse himself, soul pounding. The anxiety was overtaking him ever so slightly. He knew Farmer was not Nightmare, but that fear of being questioned, of saying the wrong thing accidentally and getting punished for it was palpable. 

“No, you just didn't like being around Pilsu! I saw it on your face! Were you going to try something? He's not weak, you know! And if nothing else, I'll have your head clean off your body before you can even touch him-” 

“I would never hurt him.” Horror yelled violently. 

The magic pumped through him for a flashing millisecond, sending his head into a dizzy state and him stumbling backward. 

Saejun looked fearful again and was trembling slightly, “What are you…?” He stammered. 

Horror breathed heavily in and out, trying with much difficulty to stifle down that uncontrollable rage. He couldn't be compared to the atrocities of Killer or Dust. He would never. He wasn't like them… he wasn't a monster. He could be trusted. He wasn't violent. He wasn't stupid. He was… he was… 

“I'm…” Horror huffed, covering his one red eye. He couldn't see Saejun but he could practically feel the fear radiating off him, “...sorry…"

With that, Horror walked away and Saejun did not follow. 

He slept in the barn that night. Hay was a surprisingly comfortable bed. More comfortable than whatever stale brick of a mattress Horror had back home at least… or did have back home. The home that probably didn't exist anymore… okay… it wasn't even probably. 

It was gone. 

The rooster's crow woke him up that morning. The sun had barely started to peak over the rim of the treeline surrounding the meadows and fields. 

Horror milked the cows. He didn't know why he did it. Once again, it was probably because he needed to keep his mind off the people he wanted to avoid…

He found himself talking to the animals the same way he spoke to weapons in the past. 

They listened better. Sometimes they even responded with a nuzzle or a moo. It made him chuckle. He never had considered the possibility of being an animal person but now he found himself liking them a lot. 

Horror was walking the pails of milk out to the table outside the barn when he stopped himself to look out into the meadow. 

The horse was there again. This early in the morning, her mostly black coat reflected the newly risen orange sun rays brilliantly. Horror stood in awe. 

“She's jumpy because she's got a history, you know?” Saejun’s voice came from the table where Horror had been initially headed. 

The softness of his voice prevented Horror from jumping, or perhaps that was the milk in his hand he was trying not to spill, but either way, Horror turned to him with a surprising amount of calmness, especially considering the Rollercoaster of emotions he had had about Saejun when he tried to put himself to sleep the night before. 

“She had human owners before me and Pilsu. They also tried to break her. But I don't think they did it so kindly… she's probably even less likely to budge now than she was when they had her.” Saejun explained, his green eyelits fixed on the animal, Horror’s gaze followed. 

“...you think that horse was abused?” Horror asked softly. 

Saejun nodded solemnly, “No question. She isn't wild, but she acts like it. There's only one way that happens. Things adapt to their surroundings. You don't get aggressive or scared or jumpy or anything else without a reason.” 

There was a silence between them as they continued to watch the horse graze. 

“I scared you yesterday… I'm sorry.” Saejun broke that peaceful silence after perhaps a good fifteen minutes.

“Don't be.” Horror mumbled, “I almost hurt you.” 

Saejun stood, pushing himself up by leaning on his own knees. He stumbled over to Horror and took the bucket of milk from him, nodding off-handedly in thanks before saying, “I think horses are a lot like people. The more I think about it the more I know that I was wrong to lash out at you in the way I did. Now, I'm not saying that you deserve my trust; I'm just saying I shouldn't have yelled.” 

“...I don't see no reason why you shouldn't have, yelled.” Horror grunted. “I woulda.”

“Ad no offense, that's not very comforting. I don't want to react the same way you would” 

“Oh.” 

“Listen…” Saejun sighed, “What I'm trying to say is, you got… some sort of thing you're running from. I'm not stupid, I figured that out.” 

“I don't think you're stupid.” 

“And I don't think you're stupid. I just... I want to help you, I do. And the reason doesn't matter why… because regardless, I don't know how to help you. I've… never dealt with someone quite like you.” 

“Sorry.” Horror found himself apologizing. He didn't know why, it just felt necessary. 

Saejun tilted his head and his voice seemed to get even softer somehow, “How did you get like this?” He asked absently. 

Horror was silent for a moment before he said, “I'd like ta move past how I got like this… I'd like to never have ta think ‘bout it again.” 

“That makes sense I guess…” 

“Does the horse have a name?” Horror asked suddenly. 

“What?” Saejun blinked, “Huh?” 

“The horse, what's her name?” Horror asked more clearly, as if he hadn’t heard him. 

Saejun chucked, “We call her ,사생아.”

Horror blinked, “Sorry, what?” 

“It means bastard, basically.” Laughed Saejun. “When Dain Yun brought her to use from the humans, that's all she would call her. I guess she was hard to wrangle even for her. That fish lady is the best wrangler in town, but she refuses to go near her.” 

“I'm sure that name is very amusin’ an’ all but I don't think a creature like that deserves such a horrible name.” Horror frowned.

“What're you trying to say Horror?” 

“I'm tryin’ ta say that maybe if you want her ta change you oughta start treatin’ her as a noble horse instead of a curse.” 

“Well if we change her name, I oughta change yours too.” Smirked Saejun, “Like I said, horses are a lot like people. You want to move on? Maybe stop calling yourself what they made you.” 

Stop calling yourself what they made you.

Horror shivered. He wasn't Sans but being called Horror did make his blood boil ever so slightly. 

Stop calling yourself what they made you.

“Here, how about this,” Saejun posed, “You can call me Farmer or whatever for the rest of your life and you can rename that horse over there, if you let me call you whatever I want.” 

“I don't know ‘bout that. I doubt your nicknames fer me will be any more kind…” Horror grumbled. “Sounds like a trap being laid.” 

“Here, I'll think of just one name right now and you tell me if you like it, okay?” Saejun bargained. “I didn't mean to make an excuse for name calling, no, no, I'll do that anyway. I mean a good nickname.” 

“Like what?” 

Saejun was thoughtful for a moment, “I'm trying to think of good ol’ western names.”

“Don't give me a stupid name like Bob please.” Horror sighed, “That's practically name-callin’.”

Saejun snapped as an idea came to mind, “Axe, short for Axle. That's a popular name, right?” 

Horror squinted, “Axe? Yer namin’ me after the weapon? You're not slick.” 

“Good point. Not much better than Horror is it?” Saejun was thoughtful again.

“Not as bad though.” Horror admitted. “Axe is fun ta say at least.”

“You like it?” Saejun raised a metaphorical eyebrow. “Really?” 

“I don't like that when people see me their first thought is always weapon or terror. But, it's a good name I guess. Could be seen as normal at least. It's better than Horror.” 

Mostly he was just getting attached to the idea of operating himself entirely from Nightmare. As if this name was the last thing that tagged Horror as his property. 

“Axe then. You sure?” 

“Sure. I like it and it's not Horror. That's all that matters.” 

“Okay then.” Smiled Farmer, “Well then, Axe. What're you gonna name that horse over there?” 

“Freedom.” He said softly. “Imma name her freedom.” 

“Jayu.” Farmer said. “That's what that is in Korean, I mean.” 

“Jayu.” Axe nodded, “Jayu.”