Chapter Text
Nyx’s story “Daddy Issues”
10/05
Disorders: PTSD, Anxiety, Chronic Depression
When he was around 5 he lived with his mom, dad, and sister. Nyx doesn’t remember a lot from this time, for example names, faces, and even what was going on around him. One day Nyx’s father left, Nyx didn’t mind though, he would hit and yell at Nyx if he didn’t do what his father considered “normal.” However, since they were financially reliant on him this hit his mother hard, she struggled with her health for a few years, due to all the stress, before catching pneumonia and she couldn’t fight it for very long and passed shortly after. As a result, Nyx went to live with his maternal Aunt and Uncle, he never knew any of his paternal family.
His Aunt fought hard to get Nyx’s father to come back into his life, she just wanted the poor boy to have a positive male role model. However, due to family issues previously discussed, Nyx started to have trouble in school, getting in fights when kids criticized his mother, his grades dropping, and just overall becoming a social outcast. His Uncle tried his best to fill the father role that Nyx was missing, and a few times Nyx accidentally called him dad. This always made his uncle tear up, and every once in a while Nyx would see him quickly turn his head so he wouldn’t see the tear roll down his face, he always did. Nyx was finally happy for the first time in a while. However, his world was about to be flipped upside down.
When Nyx was 10 a strange man in an army uniform and a woman in a flowy sundress and heels came to the door, the 4 adults went into the living room and told Nyx and his sister to go to their room. He kept trying to peek in, so his aunt and uncle told him and his sister to just come in. The army man told them that their father had died during duty, and they would inherit half of all his will. The woman introduced herself as his wife, and explained that she had never known about Nyx and his sister. So, his father had turned his life around, he had found a new wife, a new job, and made a new family. Has he always been capable of this?” At this point something in Nyx broke, he bawled his eyes out. Laura tried her best to console him despite being uncomfortable with the physical contact and display of such strong emotions. The woman offered to take them in, and their aunt and uncle asked the siblings. Nyx was inconsolable so his sister said she’d like to go, Nyx said he didn’t want to be separated from her. So, they moved in with this woman who told them her name was Molly, and they didn’t have to call her mom, but they could if they wanted. Nyx’s sister, Laura, called her Molly, but Nyx almost immediately started calling her “mama,” Laura wasn’t happy. They still have holidays with their aunt and uncle.
Molly lived in a nice neighborhood, on the bouge side of town, and it showed. She also had twins, Jaylen and Sydney, they were nice, just a little clueless at times. Nyx had tried to explain what his father was like to them, but they just didn’t understand how their loving caring father could be like that. Once they even tried to say Nyx and Laura were lying, only the one time because their mother promptly grounded them for a month, she told them if they ever say anything like that again she’d make it a year. When school started the twins ignored him, which didn’t bother him, but what really hurt was Laura abandoning him the moment someone said something about how “weird” Nyx looked. It’d be one thing if she ignored the comment and didn’t comfort him, that was typical of her, but she agreed with them. She started mocking and making fun of Nyx right in front of the crowded hallway. He didn’t know if he’d survive school.
He then tries to confide in Molly, or as he called her Mama. She becomes concerned, especially since he wont tell her any names, so she gets him a therapist. He goes to therapy every Saturday, and Molly even double booked 2 appointments back to back so he could have extra time. The therapist helps him get to a better place, mentally at least. He starts having health issues and becomes underweight, this concerns Molly so she starts taking him to a nutritionist who does help him get back to a just barely healthy weight. Nyx has a lot of insecurity about this.
During middle school, with no help from Laura’s rumors about him, he starts getting bullied, violently. This makes him increasingly depressed, even teetering on suicidal, but he can manage. He stops opening up to his therapist, he did that with Laura and now she’s spilling his secrets left, right, and center. Eventually the bullying goes too far; they start cutting him with blades, mostly on his wrists and thighs. He’s able to hide it from Molly and his siblings, but he’s pretty sure Laura’s seen them, she doesn’t say anything though. There’s no question about it, he’s suicidal, he wants to leave this existance, he doesn’t want to be alive anymore. All these suicidal thoughts dredge up memories of his mother, he wants to join her. He starts cutting, scratching, and hitting himself, same place the bullies are, they think it’s hilarious (sick fuckers).
It gets to be too much, he’s going to do it. He goes to the school's rooftop, who cares if it’s a little cliche doesn’t matter anyway. He wants them to see what they’ve done. Somehow they find him, thinking he’s bluffing about jumping. One of the guys grabs his collar and holds him over the edge of the roof, “do it,” he says, “bet you won’t pussy.” Nyx, with no self preservation, lets go of his arms and dangles, he even starts scooching his feet off the edge. He gets both his feet off the ledge and the bully, who had been ranting about something Nyx didn’t pay attention to, wasn’t expecting it and nearly dropped Nyx then and there. The bully is holding onto Nyx by the collar of his shirt, that tears and Nyx goes plummeting. All the bullies come rushing to the edge in shock and disbelief as they stare at the boy's mangled body. Other school students scream in horror, eventually a teacher comes rushing out and calls 911. Nyx can’t hear anything except muffled voices and distant sirens.
He wakes up in the hospital 2 days after “the accident,” personally Nyx calls it “the whoopsies,” and sees Molly and Laura sitting by his bed. After Molly notices he’s awake, she goes to find a nurse and doctor. Nyx looks at Laura and notices she’s asleep, her eyes are strangely puffy and red, had she been crying? That wasn’t possible, from the age of 7 Laura had locked away any and all tears she had, she wouldn’t give them to their deadbeat dad, not even their sickly mother, and he certainly wasn’t worthy of them. She didn’t even like him that much, let alone love him enough to shed her locked away tears. Molly comes back with a doctor, they give him a quick run down of his injuries and situation, he’d broken several ribs, sprained his spine, which he didn’t know was possible, and broken his radius, one of the bones in his forearm. Overall, he’d need a few surgeries, they already had a surgery scheduled for his ribs and arm, and there wasn’t anything they could do for his spine. His spine was severely sprained leaving him slightly paralyzed, they recommended, even after discharge, to stay in a wheelchair for about a week or two. His surgeries are a success and he gets discharged in a wheelchair. Throughout the ordeal of surgeries, panic, and gratefulness for Nyx being alive they had avoided talking about “the accident,” Molly kept it this way, resolving to schedule him more therapy appointments and offering to change therapists, Laura took a different approach. Nyx had been told to stay home until he could walk again, he even had to do physical therapy, so Laura found him in bed scrolling on his phone. She snatched it out of his hands, shut the door, locked it, and in a worryingly soft voice asked Nyx what he was thinking. He just stared at her, startled by her calmness and composure, she had some major anger issues and normally would’ve blown up on him. He collected himself and riffled through his thoughts for a response, Laura sat on his bed looking at him patiently waiting for a response. Nyx, fed up with his own thoughts, said anything and everything he had been thinking, what happened with the bullies, everything the bullies did to him, and heart shatteringly how hurt he’d been after Laura betrayed him. When he finished he looked up and saw Laura, never breaking cool Laura, crying with the ugliest face one could have while crying. She told him she hadn’t meant for him to feel that way, she didn’t think he’d actually care, and didn't understand why he was making her out to be some sort of villain in his story. Nyx ended up comforting her instead of being comforted stiffly by her uncomfortable hugs, he reassured her that he didn’t think she was a villain or evil, reassured her that he still loved and cared about her, on and on reassuring her.
Eventually Nyx has to head back to school. Everyone stares at him as he goes down the hallway, while he’s in the lunchline, and even when he tries to go to the restroom, for them he’s just some weird emo kid who tried to kill himself. He tried to keep his head low and ignore them, but it wasn’t easy. One good thing that’d come out of him trying to off himself was the fact Laura wasn’t spreading rumors about him, not only that she’d even confronted and bullied anyone and everyone who tried to perpetuate the rumors. There’s even a girl in his math class who never stops staring at him, she’s got long black braids that cascade down her back like a waterfall, her skin as rich and deep as chocolate. She’s pretty and seems nice, but Nyx is still unnerved by the staring. Finally Nyx has had enough, he turns to her and asks why she’s always staring at him. She jumps, and looks kind of awkwardly out the window, “Well?” Nyx snaps bringing her back to the conversation. She fidgets with her braids as she responds, “I…err…” she takes a deep breath and says, “I just thought you looked really cool and I was wondering if we could be friends!” she says, speaking as if she breathes her words will disappear. As she’s gasping for air, Nyx stares at her, taken aback by her boldness and stupidity. Who in their right mind wants to be friends with the emo failed suicide guy, he asks her if she’s heard what happened to him, she had. He stared at her still breathing heavily in amazement and shock. “Are you sure?” he finally managed. She looked up at him with a glow in her violet eyes, she was sure.
Nyx starts opening up to his therapist again, who recommends he get a “safe place” somewhere he can hide away. She does add that it’d be best if he could be there with someone he trusts. He decides his little sanctuary will be an abandoned treehouse in the backyard, Mama said it had been the twins before they decided they were “too grown up” for it. She helped him clean it up, kick out the critters that had made it their home, and added some pillows, plushies, blankets, and the sort. She even, after making him swear he won’t abuse it, added a lock on the door with 5 keys. He gave her one, she teared up and put it on a small chain so the twins couldn’t get a hold of it. He then hesitantly gave Laura a key she, stone faced as usual, thanked him for trusting her. He doubted he’d give away the other 2, he needed one for himself. Over the next 2 weeks the girl with the braids, whose name was London like the city, had sort of “proven herself” to Nyx, and he gave her his address, a key for the gate door, and the key to his 小庇护所 (Xiǎo bìhù suǒ), “sanctuary” in chinese. She was thrilled and asked when she could come over, he told her she could come over whenever, he’d text her if he really needed a person to talk and hang out with. That night he saw the treehouses light on, he went out worried the twins had gotten a key, but found London, sitting on a bean bag already making herself at home cuddled up with a blanket and stuffed animal. Nyx laughed and sat on the bean bag with her, they read some of the books Nyx had taken up there til the sun came up. They ran into the house in a panic, Molly was happy to see Nyx had made a friend worthy of his Xiǎo bìhù suǒ. They couldn’t stay and chat though, Nyx let London freshen up in the bathroom first and lent her some clothes. London commented on how her parents were going to kill her, she said she hadn’t meant to stay the whole night. They barely made it to the bus stop, laughing and giggling the whole way to school, even into their first period. Nyx finally had someone he could rely on, it was nice.
Nyx made it through the rest of the School year with London, who just barely passed and had been threatened by her parents that if she failed, they’d shave her head. Nyx’s peace didn’t last either, he still attracted bullies and rumors like flies to honey, what with his more confidently emo wardrobe and failed attempt more than a year ago. However, at least the bullies in highschool didn’t turn their bullying into actual torture. They were more violent, if Nyx hadn’t known how it felt to break ribs he would’ve thought he broke a rib a day, what with all the lockers he was slammed against. These bullies did try to play mind games and indulge in psychological torture, compared to Nyx’s middle school it was tame, they mostly just told you you’d never amount to anything in life, which was ironic considering most of them would only go to college through football or some kind of sport. Nyx mouthed off to them from time to time, which just usually resulted in him being punched harder. Then, they went for his one weakness, London. They beat the shit out of her and cut her braids, she came to the treehouse with a bloody nose, bruises all over her, and her braids cut asymmetrically and all over the place. That was the last straw. He walked into school the next day with London begging him to calm down, her braids all cut to the same short length. He could barely even hear her pleas and cries, he walked right up to the guy who was easily twice his size and started beating the shit out of him. The guy's friends tried to pull Nyx off, but Nyx was too pissed and kicked their asses too. Only London was able to pull him off the guys, but Nyx could feel her smile without looking at her. She whispered thanks to him, and then at a regular volume told him he was an idiot and could get expelled. Molly told the bullies parents they could shove their lawsuits up their asses, their sons had been harrassing Nyx for months, and the school did nothing despite her complaints. That shut down most of the parents, the others retracted their lawsuits claiming they didn’t want the lawyer costs, really they just didn’t want to sew the town's military widow. Nyx wasn’t expelled, but he was told he couldn’t come back until the next year. He still took exams and passed.
Over the month of his expulsion and summer, Molly got Nyx a gym membership and signed him up for boxing lessons, sick of him being helpless to defend himself from bullies. He worked out everyday, and even started doing gymnastics. London visited daily, and one day after seeing one of his gym posts, rushed over and asked if she could work out with him. Nyx agreed, excited to have a gym buddy, they both worked out all summer and by the end they were both decently sized. By the time the next school year came around they’d both figured out their style, identity, and scariest of all their genders. Nyx was cis and bisexual, London was a femme-nb lesbian, it was definitely a summer of discovery, what with the gym locker rooms and other gym members.
When Nyx and London walked into the building they were immediately blasted with the sounds of a fight breaking out in the hallway. It was between 2 guys, the first one to catch Nyx’s eye was a guy with pale rosy hair and tanned skin, the guy he was fighting was none other than Nyx’s half brother, Jaylen. He rushed over, leaving London perplexed, and yanked the cute guy off of his idiotic brother. He pulled his brother to his feet and whispered to him angrily, “what do you think you’re doing, getting into a fight, really!? You’ll break mama’s heart!” “Oh, shut up mama’s boy!” Jaylen snapped back embarrassedly in a regular voice. Nyx rolled his eyes and turned to the other guy to apologize, when the guy punched him square in the jaw. Nyx snapped his head back in indignation, then he realized the guy already looked really apologetic. Before he could even get out an, “I’m so-” Nyx cuts him off, “It’s fine, it’s my idiot brothers fault, sorry bout him.” The guy stared at Nyx a little flustered, his face reddening, Nyx thought he must be really embarrassed if his sun kissed skin was turning red as a beetroot, “S-sorry” the guy stammered and all but ran away. Nyx stared after him, remarking how cute he was.
Nyx’s story continues in the group story between these 4 queers!!