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Santa Claus finally finished his weird story to all the strange children he accidentally summoned, and BOY was he hot!!1! It was just so hot out in the Florida Keys and he couldn’t help but crave a sweet treat. He pulled out his handphone, dialing up his last resort.
About half an hour later, the Ice Cream Bunny finally pulled up in the whip. His motor revved as she flicked down her shades, winking at his sweet, sweet, Christmas friend.
“hEyA sAnDy ClAuS! hEaRd YoU nEeDeD hElP. I CoUlD hElP yOu OuT. ;3” Ice Cream Bunny could somehow vocally wink, and hopped out of her car and sexily caressed the edge of Santa’s sleigh. “I CaN hElP yOu OuT, iF yOu HeLp Me ;3”
“Anything, Ice Cream Bunny….” Santa Claus hurriedly spoke. He was sweating intensely and it was either the Ice Cream Bunny’s deep eyes he was getting lost in or heat stroke. His jaw dropped as he glanced down the plush body of the bunny, unable to hold back the thoughts of what those large, gloved hands would feel like against him.
Ice Cream Bunny winked again, before grabbing Santa’s hands and leading him over to the back of her car.
“I NeEd YoU tO cRaNk, SaNdY.” He breathed down his neck, running her finger across the back of Santa’s vinyl belt. Santa Claus sweated harder, leaning down and starting to turn the hand-crank. He gripped it tightly, before beginning to turn slowly. The Ice Cream Bunny gasped, “tUrN iT fAsTeR, bAbY.”
Santa cranked harder, leaning into the Ice Cream Bunny who pulled him closer. Santa could feel her grab at his hips, slowly unbuckling his weird plastic belt, and pushing a gloved hand inside his jacket. “Ah- Ice Cream Bunny, you naughty dog-”
“bUt Im A bUnNy?”
“No- nevermind.”
“sAnDy, Do YoU eVeN kNoW yOuR aNiMaLs?”
“Shhh go back to the weird sexual shit.” Santa started to turn the car crank even faster and the Ice Cream Bunny whimpered.
“oH sAnDy~” the Ice Cream Bunny grabbed Santa, pulling off his jacket and growling ferociously. “yOu AlWaYs KnOw HoW tO gEt Me GoInG oHoHo~”
Ice Cream Bunny then got real freaky on it, and legend states that hog was cranked, whatever that means. One could say ICB returned the favor, that she gave Santa the Christmas of a LiFeTiMe~~~~~
The End