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Jayce had found himself rather motivated to carry out the day ahead — he had made plans with Viktor just the other day to meet up in the lab for more experiments with the runes they had been going over for weeks. His head had been reeling all night with theories he had been researching that could assist; it almost made him forget that the winter solstice had just passed and the weather was beginning to mirror it.
As he kissed his mother goodbye and took his first step out the door, the chill in the air stopped the young inventor in his tracks. It was taunting him without remorse, whispering in his ear that he was a coward and nothing more. Jayce could swear he could continue to hear the voice even after the loud shut of the Talis house doors reached him. Had he truly forgotten? The young man was paralyzed, feet ironically frozen to the ground beneath him — and yet, his body seemed completely out of reach to himself. As he urged every fiber of his being to move, he was met only with resistance.
An insurmountable amount of time had passed before Jayce had found himself back in his childhood bedroom. He had grown up in these four walls; four walls which protected him from the elements outside. It reminded him of his mother holding him that day, hoping that her body heat would rub off on him. He shivered at the memory, trying to kick it loose like cobwebs that had stuck to a neglected corner of a room. Since then, there was a sense of guilt that lodged itself in Jayce's throat as he felt those metallic fingers grasp his back lovingly. Could he have saved her in some way? Saved her from a life without a daily reminder of that experience?
When winter usually reared its ugly head, the young boy had coped by curling into the covers of his bed for as long as he could. They provided security and warmth, protecting him from the oppressing nightmares that often ravaged his sleep throughout the season. This would not change as he aged there was no amount of running that Jayce Talis could do to avoid the dread of another winter.
Viktor had been the only thing to fully distract him.
Since the two had confided in each other and began building their shared Hextech dream, Jayce hardly had kept track of the days as he had before. Time seemed to pass so much quicker — as though someone had sent him tumbling over himself into some bright future that he could have never imagined. The young scientist was used to being laughed out of any room he entertained his passion with, but Viktor looked at him with a fervor he had never experienced before. He felt seen. All those years had suddenly felt worth it to experience his partner smiling earnestly as the two exchanged ideas with a fire that seemed to blaze ceaselessly.
Jayce isn't sure when he began to cry, but he knows that there is no stopping it once it begins. It is an all-consuming weight that spreads itself across his body. Not a single thought in his head cries to be set free, only to embrace the bed that he had so ambitiously abandoned several moments ago. No, how could any place be any safer than underneath the warm blanket his mother had tenderly made for him after everything? The signs of wear and tear from years of using it as a shield from the cold would be obvious to the naked eye, but Jayce could say nothing as he found solace in its embrace around his shoulders. The cold would not find him here. In his nightmares, the wind often seemed to take on the form of a salivating wolf, tracking his scent. A young Jayce wondered often if it could hear his thundering heartbeat from under the same blanket, but never once did it seem interested in pouncing. Instead, it would pace back and forth across his bedroom floor, keeping him awake and terrified. Had its mother never scolded the animal for playing with its food as Jayce's mother had?
So many years later, Jayce can still feel the hair on his arms bristle at the thought of the cold finding him once more. He just wanted to be safe, for his mother to be safe. She could never be able to protect herself and it was Jayce's job to protect her as the man of the Talis household. And still, another voice seemed to chastise himself for his idiotic fear; only a child would run away from the slightest dip in the weather. How could he ever be a respectable man of society if he could not suppress even this? Only silence remained to console the young man now — a silence thick and heavy with regret. He had made a promise to Viktor, but there was no way that he could allow anyone to see him in this state. Jayce would simply have to hide away for the winter, hibernating and avoiding his mother's concerned gaze that shook him to his core. The tears that trickle down his cheeks sting his skin, a reminder of his inadequacy.
His own sniffling amongst the covers distracted Jayce from the soft knock against his bedroom door. It is only when the knob is turned that Jayce bolted upwards from his bed, as though he had been caught. He had expected his mother to come in to check on him and, wanting to avoid looking weak, Jayce had planned some excuse for changing his mind to visit Viktor in the lab - but instead he is greeted by wavy brown hair and pale skin that sticks out amongst the dark colored palette of his bedroom.
"Viktor." His name rolled off Jayce's tongue like oil on water. There is a tinge of regret behind it, as he opens his mouth to apologize. He is stopped by a hand that is raised sternly.
"Most days, you are the first one in the lab. I gave you the benefit of the doubt for some time before I became concerned." Viktor's accent is heavily coated over his words, giving them an allure akin to a siren call. Jayce begins to understand the stories of sailors plunging to their doom. "It took me some time to find out if your address was in the books at the academy still. I had hoped you wouldn't be here, but it would be a start to finding you."
"Listen, I'm sorry —"
"Your mother was concerned when she answered the door, she thought you had left earlier. I suppose it is inappropriate for me to be ... snooping in your room, but I did knock." Jayce suddenly hears a playful tone to Viktor's words, watching as the young man before him awkwardly shuffles his weight and lets his eyes wander around the room.
"I would have liked to introduce you to her on less stressful terms perhaps." Jayce quips back without thinking, feeling a heat rise against his face. He embraces it, grateful for any shield from the cold weather outside these four walls.
"Perhaps?" His partner teases back before testing the waters and taking a few steps closer. "Is ... everything alright, Jayce?"
It's a rather innocent question, but its implication startled Jayce. What exactly had given it away? Were his eyes still wet from the tears he had just managed to wipe away? Large hands rose to his face and began to wipe at his eyes rather indignantly once more. He couldn't conceivably explain all of this to the man before him, who he had only met recently. It would mark the beginning of the end for their partnership, Jayce was sure of this. "I'm fine. Just ... a rough night."
Jayce Talis had always been an awful liar. Everyone in his life had made it known to him at some point or other. His father spoke of his eyes giving him away when he would attempt to cover up wounds in the forge. His mother spoke of his wavering voice when she had caught him tracking in mud. It was clear in Viktor's body language that he was similarly skeptical, though he simply responded with a soft hum before turning to the posters a young Jayce Talis had proudly hung on the walls. They sat in a surprisingly comfortable silence before Jayce heard a tap of the other's cane against the wood flooring. "What is that phrase I had overheard Heimerdinger use in his last lecture? Ah, yes — 'the truth will set you free, dear boy'." He quoted, turning his head to make eye contact with Jayce. The corner of his mouth had upturned into a genuine smile.
Jayce tried to recall the last moment he had seen Viktor smile — the recollection seemed to kindle a fire within the young scientist's chest. The walls around him — the world outside — suddenly felt a lot warmer. "It's a long story." seemed to be dragged out of his lips, as though it was the air being knocked out of his lungs. Closer to the truth, closer to that fire burning in the distance. It's then he can hear his mother's voice in his head, scolding his manners for being in bed in front of company. He nearly tripped over himself in the process of shedding the comforting blanket, exposing himself to the world once more. And yet, he can't help but feel that the cold is miles away. For once, Jayce felt safe.
"Please do enlighten us, Jayce." Viktor's attitude had intrigued him from their very first words to each other — most Pilties Jayce knew were rather boring, but there seemed to be a constant sarcastic and playful energy in the banter that the Zaunite offered. Jayce felt drawn to it like a moth to a flame.
"I never properly explained my connection to the rune and magic in general to you. I was young, my mother and I ... we got trapped in a snowstorm." Never once had Jayce taken off the rune bracelet, which he thumbed at anxiously. "It was a harrowing experience, I still sometimes feel like we're stuck there when the temperature outside falls. I know, it's ridiculous —"
"I never said it was ridiculous." Viktor doesn't like Jayce putting words in his mouth, he never had. He hated being spoken over. Jayce's gaze turned to a somber yet silent apology.
"It just ... makes the winter months harder, is all. Doing anything that requires me to go outside seems impossible." Jayce had never even attempted to put his feelings into words after so long. Vocalizing it felt hopeless, even to his own mother. He can see the twinge of concern in the way Viktor furrowed his eyebrows, but he does not feel pitied. Those golden eyes seem to carry a new sense of respect if anything. He recognized the confession as something far more intimate — Jayce had laid himself bare before someone else.
There is a moment of silence that lingered between the two before Jayce registered the sound of feet and a cane scuffling across the floor and Viktor is suddenly seated on the corner of his bed. "Sit," he urged tenderly. Jayce isn't sure what possessed him but the command ends with himself on his knees before his friend — his lab partner — and his face buried into the other's legs. Exhaustion had overwhelmed him, much as it had his mother that day. He could recall her body tumbling to the soft snow beneath their feet, a delicate traitor.
Jayce realized far too late that it felt far too intimate for the two to be sharing. A voice in the back of his head yelled to pull away, to apologize, but it was silenced by the feeling of a hand hesitantly placed atop his head. It felt like the rest of the world had been paused, allowing the two men this moment of calm. And still, they both seemed to be weary that the moment could end rather awkwardly — as if they were two inexperienced dancers waiting to stomp on the other's foot clumsily. No, Jayce selfishly wanted to linger here. Every breath he took meant he was inhaling Viktor above all. Was it so wrong to think of his friend in such a way? Not if Viktor was left in the dark; Jayce could have this all for himself, that was for the best.
"Jayce, you are safe." He can tell that Viktor has never done this before — offering vocal reassurance — but the thought pulled the young man from his memories. "The lab can always wait, not if traveling provides you with this level of anxiety."
"No, putting our work on hold is unfair because of me. We still have deadlines to meet." Jayce shook his head fervently, not daring to pull away and look Viktor in the eyes.
"The lab can wait, but that does not mean we cannot simply ... move the lab temporarily."
It felt as though Jayce had stumbled onto a riddle and, intrigued, he pulled away to make eye contact with Viktor finally. Those damned golden eyes seemed to be waiting for him, coaxing him. "What are you suggesting then?"
"Not all scientists have had the luxury of a large laboratory to revolutionize the world, correct? Besides, your bedroom has just the right dimensions to set up a table and board."
"But ... I had left my notes behind. We couldn't possibly get started now."
"Ah yes, it's a shame your notes are not here," the young man vocalized rather dramatically. Viktor then presented a book the way a magician would produce a rabbit from his hat — with the hint of a smirk adorning his features as he awaited the surprised look that Jayce could not hide. He recognized the notebook most recently gifted by his mother and already filled with Hextech ideas. "Now, where were we?"