Work Text:
Shadows in the Library
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bound by brotherhood
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Tom clutched nervously to his bag when he stepped onto the platform. He glanced over his shoulder to Harry who was just behind him.
"It's fine," Harry said lowly so no one else could hear him. Tom nodded quickly and stopped to the side to wait for Harry to get by him. "My Dad has come around so I think it's all right. And think about our library! I promise to show it to you and we can spend there a lot of time."
Tom had to smile at that. He reached out and crossed his fingers with Harry's before letting him lead them to another part of the platform. He saw a lot of Slytherins on their way and many of them looked at him and Harry with disdain, but he had decided during the summer that he would not care about them. The pendant he had gotten from Harry a year ago on his birthday was always under his robes and it had saved him from multiple bad places.
"There they are," Harry said, startling him out of his mind. He glanced at the direction where Harry was looking and yes, he could see the man with the same black hair as Harry and a woman with as striking eyes as Harry.
"Any last-moment tips?" he asked nervously, smoothing out the wrinkles from his robes.
"No need to be so nervous, they aren't so... proper as many of our classmates," Harry murmured just before they got to his parents. Both of them hugged Harry tightly before turning to Tom.
"I'm Lily Potter, nice to meet you finally. But please, call me Lily," Mrs Potter — Lily — greeted him and shook his hand. She looked at Tom with warmth in her eyes, and Tom instantly liked her. "And this is my husband, James Potter. I'm sorry for his manners, he's still trying to... get used to Harry being in Slytherin."
"Nice to meet you, Mrs Potter, Mr Potter. I'm Tom Riddle, but please call me just Tom," Tom introduced himself. Mr Potter was looking at him coldly, but he tried to ignore him as Harry had advised him.
"Please, I'm serious, call me Lily. Do you have everything? All right, come on then, boys," Lily called to them and led their way to the fireplace. Tom glanced at Harry who smiled at him. They had talked about this too, but Tom had never travelled through floo so he was anxious about it. Mr Potter went through first, and Tom stared after him, his body frozen in place.
"Harry, go first," Lilu told Harry who just shook his head.
"I'm going with Tom. He's never used a floo so it's safer with me and we're small enough to fit our fireplace together," he insisted and Tom saw how Lily sighed and nodded.
"Fine, go on then, but quickly. People are waiting for their turn."
Harry didn't wait any longer, just led Tom to the fireplace from the hand he was still holding.
The Potter Manor was magnificent. Tom loved the library, he loved the huge windows and the delicious food the house-elves cooked every day. The only thing he didn't like was the fact that the guest rooms were located as far as possible from the residents' bedrooms. Tom had seen nightmares on his first night and he had scrambled through the whole house, the blanket wrapped tightly around himself and still half asleep, to Harry's room. He had gotten even more scared when a house-elf had appeared next to him with a quiet pop, asking if he was looking for something.
After that night, Lily and Mr Potter probably thought that Tom was sleeping in his guest room, but in reality, he was sleeping in Harry's bed, getting safety from being close to Harry rather than being alone in the big room, in the strange place his mind just didn't know. And it definitely made his visit better, because Harry's bed was huge, at least twice as big as in Hogwarts and they were growing bigger. Tom had guessed that before next winter holiday, they would be so big that they couldn't fit comfortably into the same bed — unless they grew with them, but Tom didn't think so.
Tom was lying on the couch, his head on Harry's lap and an interesting book in his hands. They were spending a quiet afternoon in the library. Tom glanced at Harry from time to time and he knew from his face where he was going with his book because he had read it first. He had a book about ancient runes, hoping to decide between all the electives as soon as possible. He knew that he would like to take all of them but he needed to decide what he would self-study and what would need him attending to classes.
"Have you thought about electives?" he asked when he realised that he had frozen to stare at Harry's face.
"Yes, but I'm still not sure. Mom and Dad both want me to take Ancient Runes and okay, I find them interesting. Mom also says that I should take Arithmancy while Dad says that I should take Care of Magical Creatures. Divination is a complete joke and it's the same with Muggle Studies. So... Ancient Runes and either Arithmancy or Care of Magical Creatures," Harry explained, looking at something at the back of the library. He lowered his eyes to Tom's face. "How about you?"
"I want to take them all but I'm not sure what to self-study. Why don't you take all three of them? They should fit your timetable," Tom replied. He knew that the Muggle Studies was an easy thing and he could do O.W.L. and N.E.W.T right away from it and get Outstanding, but other than that...
"Yeah, that could also be a nice idea," Harry said, frowning at the book. Tom got an urge to smooth it out with his fingers, but he fisted his hand, pushing it against his leg. Harry's hand returned back to his hair, and he closed his eyes, enjoying the casual touch. They lapsed back to the silence, with only the voice of pages turning to break it.
"Happy Christmas — Tom, what are you doing here?"
Tom sprang up from the bed, his hair tousled and cheeks burning.
"Harry! Wake up," he hissed to his best friend and poked his arm. Harry groaned but opened his eyes, turning his face to Tom.
"What?" he mumbled, yawning at the same time.
"Your Mother is here," Tom scowled, looking at him. Harry's eyes widened before he sat up and glanced at the door. Tom hoped for the dear Merlin that Harry could make the situation fine without Lily forcing him back to the guest room.
"Mom," he said and laughed nervously. "Tom can't sleep in the strange place so he came here at first night and since we sometimes sleep in the same bed in Hogwarts too, we decided that it's fine."
Tom looked between Harry and Lily, waiting for any reaction. He knew he was shaking lightly, but he wished that only Harry saw it. At least he was looking at him like he knew exactly what was going on in Tom's head.
"...boys," Lily sighed, massaging her temples. "Did you realise that it would've been fine? That we could've gotten another bed here for Tom if you had just said?"
It was Harry's turn to flush and lower his eyes to the blanket.
"Yes, Mom. I'm sorry I didn't say anything."
Tom hated how Harry sounded like he had been hit. He wasn't sure if he had ever seen Harry like this, but it wasn't something he liked. Harry was strong, powerful, superior. Harry was his and he decided to teach him to be confident, to know his value and place in the world. After all, Tom was superior and the future leader of the world and Harry was his equal.
"Get changed and come to the dining room. Breakfast is ready as soon as you're ready," Lily said and left them, closing the door behind her.
Tom scrambled to Harry, sitting almost on his lap and wrapped his hands around him. Harry was tense, but relaxed fast, blowing air out of his lungs.
"What was that?" Tom whispered, trying to approach the topic as gently as he could. He felt more than he saw Harry glancing at the door before he pressed his face to Tom's neck.
"Nothing. We should get ready before Mom — or worse, Dad — enters without knocking. Maybe they aren't used to seeing me being so close to anyone," Harry thought aloud and leaned back so they could look each other in the eyes. "You know, the Weasleys and Longbottoms are our family friends so I've spent a lot of time with their kids before Hogwarts, but I wasn't nearly as close with any of them as I'm with you and I couldn't stand for them touching me. But... it's different with you."
Tom smiled widely, unable to really believe what Harry had just admitted, but delighted anyway. He leaned forward, hugging Harry tightly one more time before getting up from the bed. His heart was roaring from happiness and his belly felt weird, but it was fine. It was Christmas and they could spend it together and soon it would be his 13th birthday.
"Do you want to go out?" Harry asked Tom, flopping beside him on the couch. Tom glanced at him over the book he was reading, biting his bottom lip. He looked back down and tried to decide what he wanted the most. It was an easy decision because he wanted to spend time with Harry, make him happy.
"All right. What do you want to do?" he accepted finally. He looked out the window and saw snow everywhere. "It's gonna be cold..."
"It doesn't matter," Harry beamed, getting up and giving his hand to Tom. "We have enough warmer clothes for you too and I can ask Mom to cast a warming charm on us. We could... I don't know, a snow fight or build a snowman?"
Tom groaned but let Harry haul him up. He wasn't exactly against any of those but he had done nothing like that ever before so it was weird. Yes, sure, Harry had tried to get him out of Hogwarts too, to do something fun, as he said, but he had a pretence to uphold every second when they were in public. He worried his lip between his teeth.
"What if I can't do anything like that?" he asked finally when Harry started to move around impatiently.
"Then I will teach you, it's not a big deal, you know?" Harry assured him and Tom looked at him, smiling shyly. They hadn't known each other that long, but it felt like there wasn't a time before Harry. But sometimes... in the moments like this, it felt like a dream. To have a friend like Harry. To have someone.
A house-elf apparated at the foot of Harry's bed, scaring Tom a little. Harry took his hand to his own, turning to house-elf who was wrinkling its hands nervously.
"What is it?"
"Tinky is very sorry for disturbing Little Master and his visitor, but Mistress be asking Tinky to take yous downstairs. Master Sirius be visiting," she said, her huge ears flopping in every direction following her head movements.
"We'll be down soon," Harry replied and turned to Tom, a weird expression on his face. "I didn't know he'd be visiting us during the holidays, he's usually really busy with work so I didn't realise to warn you but... well, Sirius is my godfather. I won't force you to come downstairs if you don't want to but I think I have to go say hi anyway. I think he might have some books in his library about genealogy since you're trying to figure it out..."
"I'll come," Tom answered quickly. "It's not like I want to stop you from spending time with your godfather." Even if I'm scared that you're just going to abandon me for the duration of his visit, was left unsaid, but from the way Harry grabbed his hand, it seemed that he had realised it too. Tom squeezed Harry's hand when they got out of the bed and from the safety of Harry's bedroom.
"Don't worry, Sirius is cool but he might be a bit much at first. He's like an overexcited puppy most of the time."
"Who're you calling a puppy, pup?" an unfamiliar voice asked behind the corner. Tom glanced at Harry who was already looking at him, a soft smile on his lips.
"You'll be fine, just be close to me," he whispered. "I'm saying that you're a puppy, Padfoot!" he called out, pulling Tom through the doorway.
Tom had to release Harry's hand and step back so he wouldn't get under a huge man who had collided with Harry. He followed terrified of how the man and Harry started to fly through the air, like the time had slowed, and Tom's magic reacted, reaching out to Harry and pulling him away from the man, slowing the speed before he hit Tom's chest. Tom's attention was on Harry and it didn't move when he heard a huge crash and a following groan.
"Are you fine?" Tom asked, touching frantically everywhere he could to feel if Harry was hurt. Harry cupped his cheeks, looking straight at his eyes.
"Tom, calm down. I'm completely fine. Sirius would've turned us around so I would've come on top of him, he could never hurt me on purpose," he insisted. Tom could just stare at him, his heart pumping loudly in his throat, his whole body shaking from the fear he had just gone through. A silent, dry sob forced itself to the surface and Harry's hands were wrapped around his middle faster than he could even think about it. He pressed his face to Harry's shoulder, trying to ease out his heart, enjoying the soft brushes against his back.
"Sirius Orion Black! How could you scare poor boy? You know that he's visiting us this holiday! Keep your head cool until Tom gets to know you and knows your tricks," Lily yelled, sounding like her voice came from somewhere far away.
"I'm sorry," the same voice as earlier said, coming closer. "I'm sorry, pup, I'm sorry, kiddo."
Tom flinched violently when a hand ruffled his hair out of nowhere.
"Sirius!" Harry snapped over Tom's head, his familiar hand coming to brush his hair. It felt safe. Tom felt like he could breathe for the first time in a long time, and he gulped air into his lungs greedily. He collected his mind together and felt a strong wave of shame rolling over him. He had momentarily lost control in front of Harry's family and godfather. Harry murmured something to his ear, his breath tickling the tiny hairs behind his ears, and Tom shivered. He breathed one more time Harry's comforting scent before pulling back. He smiled shyly at Harry, who took his hand to his own.
It was like everyone had realised that Tom needed some time when Harry all but dragged him to the library, where Tom could fully relax.
"I'm sorry," Harry whispered, sitting next to Tom, their arms brushing together.
"Don't be. I should be the one who's sorry," Tom muttered, his embarrassment still fresh on his mind. He had just spoiled Harry's time with his godfather. He knew he should regret it but all he felt was relief. Harry couldn't abandon him now.
"Definitely not!" Harry objected vehemently, warming Tom's heart. But he knew that he should be sorry, not Harry. "You did nothing wrong. It was Sirius," Harry said. Tom glanced at him and saw him scowling at his hands. Tom grabbed one of them to his own, threading their fingers together and squeezing tightly.
"Have I ruined everything?" he whispered after a moment of silence. He didn't dare to look at Harry and see his disappointment on his face.
"How many times do I have to tell you that you have done nothing wrong?" Tom opened his mouth but couldn't find any answer in his mind. "You can't do anything about the fact that Sirius scared you. Badly, if I can say so. It was fully his fault, not yours. What's going on? You're not usually like — like this?" Harry asked, shocking Tom to look at him. His face was like an open book like it always was. Instead of anger, he saw just worry.
"I was afraid that you'd die," Tom confessed after a moment of tracing Harry's features with his eyes. He knew them probably better than his own. "I — I don't know what I'd do without you. You're mine." His possessiveness reared its head in his mind and chest, and he couldn't stop himself from blurting out, "I will not allow anyone to hurt you — be it in purpose or accident. You're mine. Mine to touch. Mine to have. Mine to protect. Mine to shield."
Harry's eyes widened, and Tom was worried for a moment that he had gone too far. That he had said too much. Harry hadn't seen his possessiveness in the same manner earlier. What if — what if Harry didn't want to be his friend anymore?
"Tom, you silly silly boy. I love you, you know that? We can't always stop things from happening, but I am yours like you are mine. That's not going to change, whatever you say or do." Harry threw his hand around Tom's shoulders, pulling him to his side. "I'm not going to die so easily. Potter Luck, you know?"
"Too soon," Tom scowled but couldn't stop the warmth that was filling him. Harry had accepted him, hadn't he? With all of his faults and flaws. He loved Tom.
"Alright. Do you feel better? Do you want to come downstairs with me or stay here? I won't be long, I'm not happy with Sirius, not at all and I probably want to just yell at him for a moment," Harry asked, and Tom giggled at his words. Harry was his, he was by his side. He was more important than his godfather. He almost wanted to go downstairs and stick out his tongue and dangle Harry's love to him in front of Black. But... oh, well, it was probably better to stay in the library and he told that to Harry.
It was a night between 30th and 31st. Tom was sitting in the window still, looking outside. His wand was propped against his knee with a dim Lumos so he wouldn't wake up Harry, who was sleeping peacefully in his, in their, bed. Lily had brought him his own bed but he hadn't slept in it at all. He loved to sleep close to Harry, to wake up their legs tangled together, sometimes their head on the same pillow. It was like proof that they belonged to each other.
"Tom?" Harry whispered from the bed. Tom didn't know when he had woken up, but he got up from the window still, casting Tempus on his wand and seeing that it was only a minute until midnight. "What're you doing up?" Harry mumbled, his voice sleepy, his words tumbling over each other. Tom smiled at him, dropping his morning gown from his shoulders and sliding under the blanket. One more Tempus showed him that it was his birthday.
"I was waiting for my birthday," he whispered, taking Harry's hand to his own. "I'm now thirteen." He couldn't believe that he was so old. He was officially a teenager and it wasn't so long anymore that he would be an adult. And free from the Wool's. Free to share my whole life with Harry properly. Harry rubbed his face, yawning, and sat up. "No, go back to sleep," Tom commanded, trying to tug Harry to lay back.
Harry was annoyingly stubborn when he got up from the bed and went to his desk. The drawer rattled before he got it open and fished something from there.
"I got you something," he said, more awake than a moment earlier. He dropped back to bed and handed Tom, not one or two but three gifts.
"Harry," Tom murmured, his eyes glued to the gifts. "Didn't we agree that only one gift per occasion?"
"Ah, well, I would've given one of them anyway so it didn't matter. And two others... Well, if I saw something nice, something really you in the store, of course I'll buy it," he said unashamed and when Tom glanced at him, he saw him grinning widely. Tom sighed, giving up on the argument that was probably following them for the rest of their life.
Tom peeled the papers off carefully, gasping to every one of them. The first one was a book Tom had been looking for if it helped him to find out his real lineage. He and Harry had both agreed that it wasn't possible that he would be a muggle-born, but since his mother had died at the stairs in the orphanage, living just long enough to name Tom after his father, it was really difficult to dig any information. He knew that his father was a muggle, it was clear, but who was his mother? No one had told him her name, not even the matrons in the orphanage.
The second gift was a book too, but it was something Tom had never heard of. He glanced at Harry, his eyebrows quirked.
"We've talked about the... you know, Dark Arts," Harry said, saying the last words almost silently. "I actually asked Draco if he asked his father what he would suggest for someone who was interested in them, who didn't have anyone to teach him. Completely anonymously, of course. This was the book he sent back. There's a letter on the cover. It tells you more about the book and how it can help you forward but also some suggestions. He also cautioned that we should not be doing anything before we're at least fourteen since we don't have any adult to teach us."
Tom laughed quietly at Harry's rambling. He just nodded, squeezing Harry's knee before turning to the last gift. Harry was clearly continuing his thing to gift him an accessory or something like that as a gift because there were really beautiful cufflinks and a ring in a small box.
"Harry, this — this is too much, again," Tom complained, his eyes taking in the jewellery, examining all the small details.
"Only best for you," Harry murmured. Tom's heart was beating erratically on his chest but he didn't care about that. He — he had been sure that he didn't know what was love and how it felt. He knew now that he definitely loved Harry.
"I love you too," he whispered, afraid to say it louder, afraid of breaking the relaxing and quiet demeanour. He lifted his eyes to Harry, who smiled at him widely. He could see even in the low light that he was blushing, but it was fine. Everything was perfectly fine.
And if Tom fell asleep under Harry's arm, their bodies closer than usual? It was fine.