Chapter Text
The cool tile against Jinx’s cheek felt strangely comforting, like a distant, hollow whisper trying to anchor her to something, anything-- but even that small comfort was slipping through her fingers like smoke. Her head was pounding, a vicious, endless drumbeat reverberating behind her eyes. It was hard to focus. It was hard to breathe. She wanted to scream, to move, but everything was too slow. Too numb.
She could hear voices-- loud, panicked voices-- but they didn’t make sense. She couldn’t keep up with them.
“Jinx! Jinx, please! Just... just keep your eyes open, okay?”
It was Vi. Her voice cracked in a way Jinx wasn’t used to-- breaking through the haze that fogged her mind, but it didn’t make sense. Vi sounded scared.
Vi’s hands were on her face now, rough and warm against her cold skin, trembling.
Jinx wanted to reach out, to tell her sister that everything was fine, that she was fine, but her body wouldn’t listen to her. She couldn’t move. Her arms refused to lift, her fingers didn’t respond to her command. Her thoughts were sluggish, swimming like a mess of tangled threads she couldn’t pull apart, trapped in spiraling confusion.
“Please, please stay with me, Jinx... Please, just stay with me, okay? You’re gonna be okay, you have to be, just--”
Vi’s words blurred together as something else in the background faded in. A phone. Someone was talking on a phone.
The other voice was distant, muffled, as if she were listening to it with her head submerged underwater.
“...ambulance... need help... overdose...”
Caitlyn.
But why did it feel so far away? Why couldn’t she understand? Why couldn’t she move?
Panic stirred in her chest. She knew this wasn’t good. She knew something was wrong-- terribly wrong-- but everything was so distant like she was somewhere outside of her body, watching Vi cry and Caitlyn shout into the phone. None of it felt real.
Without really being able to process why, part of her wanted to apologize to them. But she couldn't. Apparently, that’s a common theme for her right now-- can’t move, can’t say sorry, can’t even remember what she was doing lying on the cold bathroom floor in the first place.
A dull, nauseous ache radiated from her abdomen, making her insides twist and squirm. Her stomach churned, a sick, slow roll that made her want to curl into herself and disappear. But even that motion was too much for her to handle.
“Jinx!” Vi’s voice was breaking now, raw with desperation. “Come on! Please, just look at me! I need you to look at me! Okay, Pow-Pow? Come on!”
Her head swam with the weight of it all. Vi’s frantic cries bounced around her skull, ricocheting like a bullet that’d never puncture. Something in her chest tightened. Something cold, bitter, and hollow. Jinx couldn't figure out what it was. Guilt? Maybe shame, regret? Or just the numbing cold of indifference?
The last thing she remembered... The last thing that flickered in her murky mind was the bottle-- the pills, the ones that were supposed to be helping her. She just wanted the pain to stop. The noise. The chaos.
She remembered pouring them into her hand, and then... everything just kinda went dark after that. How many did she take again? She couldn't recall. She’s not sure if it really matters.
Her eyelids fluttered, heavy as lead, but the sharp edge of her sister’s voice managed to cut through the static.
“Jinx, please. Please don’t leave me,” Vi pleaded, her words practically choking her, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I swear I’ll fix this. I’ll fix everything, but you have to stay with me. Please, just open your eyes. I can’t--”
Something deep inside of Jinx twitched. It was faint, like a small spark, a tiny flicker in the overwhelming darkness. But it wasn’t enough to break through the numbness, the emptiness.
The world tilted and spun again, and Jinx let it happen. Too tired to fight, too numb to care. She wasn’t sure how much time passed. Minutes? Hours? But in that space between awareness and oblivion, she heard Caitlyn’s voice again, sharp and urgent.
“Vi, the ambulance is on its way. We just need to keep her awake-- just keep her here. ”
Jinx felt Vi’s grip tighten, her fingers trembling against the bluenette’s cheek, her breath coming in short, uneven gasps.
“Please,” Vi sobbed, no louder than a whisper now. She pressed her forehead against Jinx’s, holding the pale girl carefully and closely in her arms like she was something delicate, precious. “Please, don’t leave me. I can’t... I can’t lose you, Jinx. Not you... Not my baby sister...”
A thick, suffocating silence fell over the room. Jinx wanted to laugh, but it didn’t feel right. Not like she really had the strength for it anyways.
The sting of Vi’s tears falling against her skin didn't even register. Her body, her mind, her very soul-- all numb. All distant.
She was slipping further and further away.
But still, Vi was there. And Caitlyn. They were trying to save her.
Jinx didn’t want to do it anymore. She didn’t have the energy, the motivation, or the will to keep dragging herself through each day like nothing’s wrong. She was tired in a way that gnawed at her bones and made it hard for her to get out of bed every morning, in a way that being conscious alone took up every ounce of effort she was able to give.
It was too much. Always too much.
Jinx’s eyes fluttered-- not quite closed, but not fully open either. It was a half-awake state, a fragile moment caught between living and dying.
Her hand twitched, barely noticeable, as if responding to something-- someone-- moving her from her place on the floor. But she didn’t care enough to keep trying to pay attention.
Whatever happens, happens.
The world was dark again, heavy and crushing her lungs. Everything still felt distant and blurry around the edges, struggling to come into focus. She was floating, drifting in and out of limbo, only partially aware.
For a moment, the darkness seemed to open up, the sounds of several voices filtering in through the fog. Still far away, still only garbled echoes of conversations surrounding her. But it was a little bit clearer now, if only by a hair.
“She’s stable for now, but we need to keep monitoring her. The overdose was severe--”
The voice was male, calm and clinical. Jinx couldn’t tell who it was, but the words hit her like a slap in the face. Overdose? She felt the stiff mattress under her back, pricking sensations in her arms, the sterile scent of antiseptic and something else she couldn’t place.
“She’s lucky you found her when you did,” another voice, this one female, spoke up. “Her vitals were dangerously low. We’re still running some tests to understand the full extent of the damage, but it’s hard to say at this point how much of a recovery she’ll make.”
A long silence followed, and Jinx tried to force herself to open her eyes. Her eyelids felt like they were weighed down with concrete, but she managed to crack them open just a fraction. Everything was too bright, instantly causing her to squint. The lights above her burned through the haze, briefly blinding her before her vision adjusted.
She could see them now. Vi and Caitlyn.
They were standing at the foot of the bed, speaking quietly to the doctors. Vi soon started pacing and wringing her hands, her face pale and eyes red from crying. Caitlyn was beside her, her arms crossed and posture stiffer than usual. They didn’t look at her-- not yet, anyways.
Jinx wanted to say something-- anything-- but her throat felt like sandpaper and her chest was too tight to breathe properly. She wanted to scream at them, to tell them to leave her alone, but the words wouldn’t come.
The doctors kept talking, their voices fading in and out of her awareness.
“...nausea, dizziness, numbness... could be effects of the drugs, could be something else. We’re still concerned about potential organ damage...”
Jinx tried to focus, to grasp onto the fragments of their conversation, but it was hard. Nothing made sense. All she understood was that she didn’t want to be here.
Her head swam, a violent swirl of panic and confusion. She could feel her body shutting down again, retreating into itself.
“She’s going to be okay, right?” Vi asked, so small and full of apprehension-- something that didn’t suit her at all. “She has to be. Please tell me she’s going to be okay.”
The doctors didn’t answer her immediately. Jinx could hear the hesitation in their silence.
“We’ll do everything we can,” one of them said finally, but the lack of certainty in their tone left a bitter taste in the air.
Jinx’s eyelids fluttered again, the darkness pulling her back under.
Hours passed. Days? Maybe minutes? It was hard to say when you couldn’t quite tell the difference between one moment and the next. Jinx was in and out-- awareness coming in like broken shards of a mirror she couldn’t fully piece back together.
She opened her eyes again, and this time, the room was quieter. No doctors, no sterile smells. Just the gentle beeping of a machine and the steady sound of breathing.
Her head ached. It felt like it was splitting from the inside out, like the pressure inside was smashing through her skull.
But then she noticed it. A soft, warm hand holding her own, their fingers entwined.
Vi.
She blinked, her vision blurry and unfocused, but she could make out the shape of her sister sitting beside her.
Vi was slumped in a chair, her cheek resting in her palm, her face drained of color like the life had been sucked out of her.
“Vi...” Jinx’s voice was raw and weak, a breath more than speech.
The pinkette’s head shot up, her eyes wide and frantic. For a second, Jinx thought she saw tears in her sister’s eyes, but they were quickly blinked away.
“Jinx... Jinx, you’re awake!” She squeezed the sick girl’s hand tighter, a shaky smile tugging at her lips. “God, I thought... I thought--” She choked on the words, unable to finish.
Jinx didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know if she should say anything. Her entire body felt impossibly sore, her thoughts slow and sluggish, threatening to pull her away again. It was difficult to hold onto anything.
“Don’t go back to sleep, okay?” Vi continued, unable to hide the tremble in her tone. “Please, just stay awake. Stay with me. We can do whatever you want when you’re good enough to get out of here, okay? Does that sound good?”
Jinx tried to nod, but her head was too heavy, the effort too much. Her eyes begged to close again, the world tilting dangerously before it all melted away.
Jinx was never sure how many times she slipped in and out of consciousness, but Vi was always there each time reality decided to jerk her back to the surface.
In one of the instances between sleep and wakefulness, Jinx managed to force out a barely-there whisper, “What... happened?”
Her sister didn’t respond right away. Instead, she just stared at Jinx, her face crumpled with something too painful to name.
“You... you tried to... you almost...” Vi’s voice faltered, and she paused to swallow before continuing, “You took too many of your meds. But you’re okay now. You’re safe.”
Nothing felt okay. Nothing felt safe. But Jinx couldn’t muster the energy to say any of that. Instead, she just closed her eyes again-- not because she wanted to sleep, but because the numbness felt better than having to look at Vi’s pitiful expression. Better than having to face the pain, the questions, the silence that wrapped around her like a suffocating blanket.
Vi stayed with her through every minute, every hour. Never leaving her side.
The hurt, the numbness, the endless cycle of back and forth-- it all blurred. But somehow, despite it all, Jinx felt the steady warmth of her sister’s hand. Vi’s presence was a tether, the only thing she could clutch onto.
She didn’t know what would come next. She didn’t know if she could fix this, fix herself.
But for right now, at least she has her sister.