Chapter Text
Six months . Six months since Atsushi's life was forever ruined. Six months since Atsushi's gruesome nightmare actually became reality. Six months. It had been six months since Prince Dazai and King Mori died.
It happened so suddenly that Atsushi couldn't even have time to processed it all. They all died on the same day. It hurt Atsushi inside so badly. He never even got the chance to say a goodbye.
Thinking about it all made it hurt even worse. Atsushi knew he couldn't have done anything to stop it but still continued to blame himself because of it. Small thoughts like “I should've sent other people to help chuuya out ” or “I should've talked to dazai after it happened ” went through his mind almost every single day.
“Maybe if i did something different it wouldn't have happened this way.”
Atsushi had been mourning Dazai and blaming himself almost everyday for the last six months. Even though it was hard, he had gotten used to being king but he was still confused about alot of things. He often told himself “If dazai we’re still here he’d know what to do” and teared up at the thought.
Dazai was like a father to him. Not even ‘like’, Dazai was a father to him.
Atsushi never had parents growing up, or even a roof over his head. He was a poor boy who lived on the streets in the old town of Yokohama. He ate spare food and leftovers he found in the trash bin. He had no one in the world until Dazai picked him up.
Back then he felt alone. no one in the world would even care or even notice if he died cold on the street somewhere. He had always been alone, and he didn't even know why. All the other children running through the streets had parents and happy families, so why didn't he? He felt like he was cursed by the gods to forever be a unwanted child. He always thought 'why would anyone stop to help a useless child like me?' and despite that. despite all that,
Dazai was the only person that had ever stopped to help him. Dazai was his hero. Now that his hero was gone, he felt the loneliest he had ever felt in his entire life. The thought of being alone again scared him so much. He hated having that feeling. The feeling of thinking that no one was there to help him, no one cared, no one was there to comfort him just as dazai used to. Having that feeling again upset him so much he couldn't help but mourn.
Luckily his guards had gone on a short break because it would've been so embarrassing to have them watch their king cry over his dead “father” for the 15th time that month.
Atsushi had been seated on the throne that was once belonged Mori and was destined to be Dazai's but never got to be. His head in his hands for the past 10 minutes, as he thought of Dazai. It felt like yesterday that Dazai was sternly telling him "Kings don't cry. Keep your head up. You don't want them to catch you being weak like this." he could hear is voice so clearly. that hurt. knowing he could never hear his voice again. He was about to sob again until he was interrupted by a sudden knock at the throne room’s door.
“..Come i-in” his voice sounded shaky. He wiped away the tears that were on his face and forced on a smile. Though his smile immediately turned into a slight frown as soon as he got a glimpse of who was walking in.
“Good morning, my king,” Akutagawa politely said after quickly walking up to his throne and bowing before it.
Atsushi couldn't help but chuckle every time he bowed because Akutagawa always used to say “I'd rather drop dead than ever bow before a person like you ” and yet here he was.
“So, what brings you here?”
Akutagawa stood up and looked at him with a serious expression.
“I have. a request.”
Oh? A Request? That's something you don't hear everyday coming from Akutagawa.
“..Go on.”
“It's rather foolish.. Don't laugh.”
“I bet it can't be as stupid as you, go on, ask away”
Akutagawa subconsciously gave a short glare as Atsushi gave him a smile back.
“Nevermind.”
Akutagawa quickly turned to leave and Atsushi interrupted.
“Hey you can't just leave a guy in suspense! c'mon tell meee”
“Its nothing.”
“So your telling me you came all this way to tell me ‘nothing’?”
“Yeah.”
“So you just wanted to see me? huh?”
“I'm leaving”
Akutagawa quickly paced back towards the entrance, but suddenly two guards walked into the throne room and refused him from leaving.
“I wanna know why you came here and wasted my time, Akutagawa.”
Akutagawa sighed as he slowly walked back to the center of the throne room and bowed again.
“I know these past six months have been. hard for you. and..” his voice became more serene.
“And.?” Atsushi frowned after being reminded of. it.
“I want to help you.”