Chapter Text
Jackie had gripped my wrist and dragged me forward. “Come on, get out, stupid, you can’t be in there all day!” she had drawled, using all her strength to get me a few feet away from my bedroom door. “Let´s go play outside!” she had exclaimed.
“I don’t want to,” I had replied, “I hate getting tired.” I had stuck the heels of my shoes into the ground and pushed backwards. She had finally let go of my wrist and I had fallen on my butt.
“Are you okay?” she had gasped, letting her stuffed toy fall to the ground as I started crying.
Someone shook me by the shoulders. I half-opened my eyes to see Jackie hovering over me by the edge of my bed. “Hey,” she said. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, “wake up already, we’re late for school.”
“Why’d you wait for me, though? You didn’t have to…” I muttered softly and got up.
“You’re my best friend, right? I have to wait for you.” she replied. Those words stung a bit. Best friend. I wanted to be her something…clearly I did; but I still didn’t know what exactly, even if those words stung.
“Right,” I said quietly. I hurried to put on my uniform and get to the living space.
“Mom?” I asked. My mother came up from behind the kitchen counter with a smile.
“Hi, sweetie,” she greeted.
“Hi,” I replied, getting a sandwich from the plate in front of me. “We’re going to school now, we’ll seeyou later, Mrs. Bexley,” said Jackie.
When we got down to the street, I saw Parker kissing some dude. I wanted to vomit. “Shouldn’t you go somewhere private, bro?” I asked him, “Like, not make out in the middle of the street.”
Parker turned around and rolled his eyes. “Shut up, sis,” he leaned down, “when you have someone to make out with, you won’t care if you do it in the street.”
The dude he was kissing grabbed his hips and looked over his shoulder. “Don’t be so mean to Mel,” Grayson said, “she’s your little sister.”
“Gray?” Jackie asked, “Ew, what the hell? You know Halley likes Parker.”
“Well, I don’t like her, and it’s so clear that I’m gay, it’s like she doesn’t wanna admit it.” Parker said, and rolled his eyes.
I huffed and grabbed Jackie’s sleeve. “Let’s go already.”
Jackie and I got to school on her bike. I got off the back and Jackie tied it to the front of the school. “I’ll be going ahead, see you later in math.”
She was horrible at it, math, like, worse than average. I always helped her with it; I thought of it as one of our moments…as if nobody could take it from us.
Obviously, someone had to take it from us.
I’d known Aubrey Jones for about my whole life. We were always in the same class, she was in my grade, she was cool, I was weird, she was nice, I was shitty, that kind of stuff. But now she was explaining math to Jackyla. I was just two minutes late and she was already talking to another girl. Messing with her and joking.
I skipped math.
I broke down crying when I got to the back of the school building.
“God, you’re pathetic,” Mischa said, crossing his arms over his chest. “I can't even have a good smoke ‘cause my little sister is upset.”
“Get lost, bro.” I narrowed my eyes at him, “Or I’ll tell mom you smoke. She'll kick you out for sure this time.”
“Shut the fuck up, brat,” Mischa frowned and sneered at me, “you tell her and I'll make sure you never see Brown again.”
I got up from the floor and shoved him away. “I told you to get lost already!” I yelled. “You won't do crap! Just because you're cheating on your girlfriend with Logan Brown doesn't mean you have control over the whole family.”
“I’m not fucking cheating on her, we broke up.” Micah threw his cigarette to the ground and put it out with his foot.
I got home with a hurt cheek. Not because of Micah, obviously, he was all bark no bite, but for a child whose lunch I knocked off the table. He literally just got up and hit me across the face, so weird, I didn't even have time to say sorry.
I got home and tried ignoring my mom. I managed. But I didn't know how I would do it at dinner.
When I got down, Parker and Micah were already there, helping mom with the pasta. Dad was late, as usual. I greeted him when he came home and we had dinner in peace; I used my hair to cover my face as I told my parents how school had gone. Luckily, Micah didn't say anything about me crying. I secretly thanked him for it, only in my mind. Stupid Micah.
The following weeks were the same. Suddenly, everyone was hating on me but Jackie. She still looked happy to be with me.
I still stayed up at night to play games and I still woke up late.
“She looks like a ghost,” girls gossiped.
“Does she even wash her hair?”
“She’s so slim, is she anorexic?”
Anorexic? What?
Another month passed. It felt like hell. I couldn't stand it. I barely even slept anymore, hardly talked to my mom, completely ignored my brothers and just… Locked myself out.
“Crap, it looks awful. Why the heck did I do that?” I mumbled, as I looked at myself in the mirror. Then I looked down at the pool of hair at my feet.
The scissors were still in my hand. At least I didn't touch my bangs.
“Mel?” I heard Jackie's voice from downstairs, “You here?”
“Uh, yeah,” I said, trying not to babble and still in shock because of what I'd done. I swept up the cut hair and threw it into the bin, took several deep breaths and brushed my hair. It was horribly messy. My black hair looked like it had just been cut by a two-year-old and I knew I couldn't go to the living room like that—
“Wow,” the door of the bathroom opened, “did you do that yourself? It looks like shit.”
“Don’t cuss,” I said, only then daring to look at the person at the door.
“Want me to fix it?” Jackie asked softly.
“I…guess? Do you know how to cut hair?”
“Yeah, totally.”
When I went into the living room, I had a newly cut bob and my mom almost fainted.
Hours of explaining later, I told her: “I’m never, ever cutting my hair again.”