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Frosty stars glittered up overhead. They seemed cold, unforgiving, unwelcoming. What was formerly a comfort, now seemed to do nothing but glare down at her.
Breath billowed, visible in the cold night air, around the tortoiseshell's muzzle. The mountain air made her fluff her pelt up, as she padded to a ledge, which overlooked the seemingly unending expanse of peaks, valleys, and ice.
The first thing that came to her mind was the silvery she-cat. Feathertail.
Her beautiful, downy pelt, her plume of a tail. Her sweet smile, her laugh that seemed perfectly crafted by StarClan itself.
The way she'd run her tail down the tortie's spine when she was upset, play with her fluffy tortoiseshell fur until she felt sleep coming to claim her, most nights.
Until he came along.
Him.
Oh, how he'd taken everything away.
Shattered the tortie's illusion of peace, happiness, perfection.
How mouse-brained had she been, to envision a future with Feathertail?
How could it ever work out?
They were from different Clans anyway. Yet, truthfully, the tortoiseshell would've given everything up for Feathertail. She'd abandoned her old life once, what was doing it again? This time, for something special, something so perfect?
She almost wanted to scorn herself.
How could she have ever even entertained the thought that things would ever go her way?
The moment he came along, her illusions were shattered.
That scrawny WindClan tom was already padding after her perfect she-cat. And of course, she wanted to fool herself. Into thinking a future with him would leave her happy.
The tortie almost felt guilty. How could she be so bitter? So spiteful? To someone she was journeying with, nonetheless?
But she felt he had stolen everything from her.
All the long nights spent talking, gazing up at the glittering stars that had once seemed to smile upon her. The warmth of Feathertail against her own, the comfort and warmth, the feeling that perhaps, everything would turn out okay.
ShadowClan forgotten, Tigerstar forgotten, prophecies forgotten.
It had just been them.
Would that ever happen again?
The tortoiseshell suppressed a growl. It all seemed to be about Crowpaw now. Feathertail favored spending time with him, talking to him. Her nights were no longer spent with the ShadowClan cat.
What in StarClan did she even see in him?
He was always so foul. All he did was complain! He smelled dreadful, his looks were... subpar, to say the least, and he never seemed to have anything interesting to say. The world would be better if he could keep his mouth shut, the tortie thought.
How could he make Feathertail happier than she could?
Was there something wrong with her?
But the tortoiseshell longed for her companion. Hearing her laugh once more, their long conversations under the stars.
Yet, she was out here all alone. Did Feathertail even care?
She couldn't even stand to go back inside the Tribe's cave. She couldn't stand the sight of her beloved cat cuddled up to Crowpaw, of all cats, rather than her. It was all too hurtful.
She almost couldn't wait to return to ShadowClan.
When they'd first started the journey, she'd never wanted to return home. Her travels with Feathertail seemed perfect. And now, she had drifted. And it was too painful to bare.
Was that the sun rising?
"Tawnypelt!"
It was Brambleclaw.
She shook out her pelt.
"I'm coming."