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“Would you look at all those ewoks, just running and dancing.” 4-Lom said wistfully, “I think I'm going to shoot one.” he added as he picked up his blaster rifle.
“Okay just… No!”, Zuckuss screamed.
“Why? There are so many! No one would miss them if I shot just one.” He started lining up a shot.
“Their families would miss them you lunatic!”
“Oh,” 4-Lom paused and lowered his gun, “What if I found one that didn't have a family?” He asked, “and was kind of a jerk.”
“No! No Ewok shooting.” Zuckuss scolded. “Besides, these little guys may look cute but they're vicious.”
“I don't believe you.”
“Why would I lie about this?” Zuckuss almost sounded hurt, “You know Jeff and Terry, the Stormtroopers?”
“Of course!”, it was 4-Loms turn to look hurt, “Everyone knows those guys.”
“You should hear the stories they have about the Battle of Endor.”, Zuckuss explained, “They were like you, they thought, ‘how dangerous can a few teddy bears be’? And you know what happened?” Zuckuss could see 4-Lom was hanging on his every word, “Jeff got hit in the head with a rock.” 4-Lom gasped, “and the rock was as big as his head!” 4-Lom gasped again.
“Is that why Jeff repeats himself sometimes?” 4-Lom asked.
“That's why Jeff repeats himself sometimes.”, Zuckuss replied, 4-Lom gasped a third time.
“Those little bastards.” There was awe in 4-Loms voice. “They look so harmless and yet…”
“...and yet they held Terry down and clubbed him with sticks for 30 minutes.”, Zuckuss added.
“Monsters.” 4-Lom said looking at the ewoks frolicking in the distance. For a little while they watched them in silence before Zuckuss spoke up.
“I mean, they shouldn't have been here in the first place. No offense to Jeff or Terry.” He quickly added.
“Yeah, I get it. It's their planet and all.” 4-Lom gestured at the ewoks. “But still. Poor Jeff and Terry.”
“Poor Jeff and Terry.”, Zuckuss echoed.
“How are they these days? Last I heard they had retired.”
“Yep.”, Zuckuss replied, “They opened a B&B on Corellia. It's nice.”
Just then their comm system crackled to life, it was Alliance Captain Han Solo.
“This is alpha base, team Delta do you have anything to report?”
“Nope, just weighing the pros and cons of plugging an ewok sir.”, 4-Lom responded casually.
“Please repeat Delta, your message was entirely too stupid to be correct.”
Zuckuss lunged at 4-Lom, tearing the comm system out of his hands.
“Sorry, this thing is um, broken! I think” he then made frantic static noises at Solo, “sssshhhhhh zzzzzzz yep, you're breaking up all kinds of crazy here sssshhhhzzzzz bing! Anyway, nothing to report zzzzz all good here! Over.”
“Bing?” 4-Lom asked.
“What's wrong with you?!”
“What? I was being honest.” He paused, “It’s important to be honest.”
“Yeah, I suppose.” Zuckuss answered, starting to call down. “Just run it by me next time you're about to confess to attempted murder.”
“Got ya.”, 4-Lom gave a little finger gun gesture before returning his attention to the ewoks. They sat quietly for sometime.
“What do you suppose you will do when you retire?” 4-Lom asked.
“Haven't really thought about it.”, Zuckuss answered, “I kind of figured one day I would take a job and not make it back.”
4-Lom thought for a moment before he responded. “That would be upsetting, I would miss your company.”
“Don't worry, we'll probably die together.” Zuckuss said, half joking.
“That's even worse.”, they both laughed before returning to silently watching the ewoks as the day turned to dusk.
“I was thinking.” 4-Lom said breaking the silence, “When the time comes, we should name our B&B, The Restful Inn: We put a bounty on a good night's sleep.”
“We?” Zuckuss asked.
“Of course! We're a team. Either we live together or die together in a hail of laser fire.”
“That's sweet.”, Zuckuss answered, “Sort of.”
End of Part 1