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The rumble of tires over asphalt added a comforting humm to the music. My apprehension quelled each time a glance at your direction met the slight smile you wore as you bobbed your head to the tune, a jubilation tempered only by the need to keep the car steady and on the road. It was moments like this I relished your refusal to drive, sure as I was in your capacity to learn I adored the intimacy it afforded us.
A slip of the tongue and coincidence had led us here. I had no idea you skied, nor how eager you’d be to help me learn again, again and again I find myself indebted to this string of fate that binds us.
I reached out my hand to pluck yours from your thigh, the tantalizing sight of fingertips poking through the ends of your gloves was simply too alluring to resist, a quick peck nothing more. You scolded me of course, for taking my eyes off the road, but I’m no more saint than you, and you can hardly expect restraint in the face of such temptation as your visage by my side.
We arrived still early in the day, when fresh twinkle of sunlight still gently shimmered on the snow like specks of silver dust. The snow was fresh, you explained, good for skiing. Your eagerness bled through you words like a songbird serenade to my ears, how I loved to hear your excited exclamations.
Frist came food, you’d have pushed past hunger pangs to reach the top if I’d let you, but the rumblings of your stomach betrayed your body’s needs past your own desire. Just something basic, fuel for the adventure, nothing more, well, perhaps a sweet at my behest, after all it was my treat, and the occasion felt far too sentimental for such dispassionate utility.
Boots strapped and clicked into our skies we made our way to the lift. The ride up was serene, I could see the gears in your head turn figuring our path back down, as though you were already making turns and twists before we’d even disembarked, the mountain like a mystery waiting to be solved.
I sat beside, too inexperienced to follow your lead and too enamoured by the sights to focus on trying. The snow covered peaks like gentle puffs adorning a supple frame with clear and gorgeous flowing blue atop protecting starlight twinkles where I'd lose myself every night again anew.
Your graceful dismount followed by my avoidant stumble, you grasped my hand and gently led me to a lonesome clearing. The cold had brought the blush to my cheek enough that you hadn’t noticed how red I was from you alone. Your instructions were clear and simple, regimented but tempered with a kindness you hid from others, one I spent each day in thankful prayer for the privilege of.
We slid down, your stylish turns paused as you waited for me to join you, a peaceful lonesome path down the slope till you spotted a familiar sight, board strapped to her feet and knees planted in the snow. I knew you couldn’t resist, I’d never think to stop you, only a muttered breath under breath to express my frustration at our company intruded. I find no blame for anyone to what happened next, it was merely second nature.
A wave of icy powder roused the girl from her clumsy comfort as you slid beside the pair with an elegant twist. You primed that cocky smirk like a loaded gun, the slight tilt of your head at just the right angle, the furrow of your soft brows, the haughty giggle like a lullaby, perfect to the pitch and strand, rehearsed not from your eye but for the distant observer.
Malice was the shroud you wrapped your pride in, but not pride in the act, no, but pride in the malice itself. the performance, that was your passion, a latent instinct to act out your role as the villain. I could tell when you glanced back and met me with a blush of shame. I'm sorry I don't have the heart to scold you, all I have to offer is the warm smile that meets your gaze whenever you grace me with your glow.
Even in so easily as I am taken by your charm I could see it in you though, a pang of jealousy for the freedom the girl had, to try and to stumble, to laugh and to learn and live anew a life she chose. regret glimmered in your eye like the glint of powdered snow, there to behold but too briefly to pontificate, and too slight for those whose heart was not already yours to mind.
A privilege all my own to know another scar that marked your skin hid beneath the facade you all so carefully maintain yet still. a moment of glee to see you, and a spark of want to comfort, but I know you shan't accept my words, so instead you'll have my deeds.
The girl grumbled in frustration at your presence, met with indifference as you effortlessly continued down the hill at confident pace. For me they had nothing, not contempt nor expectation, nor want for platitudes they knew were empty, even still a knowing bow I handed to them both.
When again I fell into your arms on solid ground I offered you a proposition, the view atop that mountain was too sweet not to relish, let me pack away some things and we can rest a while before our next descent, you agreed. You’ve a blindspot for me I can tell, my subterfuge always eludes your eye and I credit little of it to my skill, though perhaps you’re simply being kind.
There was half a truth buried in that shroud as well in fairness, when our feet grazed snowy ground again I had picked out a little spot for us to sit and enjoy the sights. Your presence warmed my heart more than any fire could, melting through the bitter chill of winter shining more brightly than the sun who’d begun to part already.
Darkness came and swept across the sky, blue turned to a midnight shroud of stars, their twinkle really was your own. Once again we were alone, not but for the distant humm of the wind and trees. This time I went and took a little more, more that you did gladly share and partake in in turn. The taste of your breath still lingers in my mouth a memory, with eyes closed a flavor I can still recall as though it were the moment same.
One last surprise I had for you, met with startled wince as I dug the board from the bag I’d so carefully concealed. You needn't be afraid my love, the world had closed it’s eyes and naught but we remained. I watched you stare at it for moment past another, the pain in your chest from nails burned into scars from bitter claws twist round your neck still loomed.
Those days are gone, never to be yours again my dear, let me be your beacon and remind you, let me hold you and show you how far you’ve come. With wobbly step you make it to your feet, the careful confidence gives way to clumsy prayer as you slid down slope as you’d done before.
A rock, perhaps, or maybe just an icy mound, enough to catch your foot a way or another, tumbling down you went just as she before, face planted in the snow as I scuttled to your side. You pulled yourself from snow and sputter, white frost clung to your face like thorns brushed away to reveal yourself again.
A smile, wide from cheek to cheek, chilled tears of jubilation streaming past your cheek, the embers of a happiness you felt forsaken to were yours. In bliss untold I sat beside you, crying just the same, salute to a new dawn we’d meet together.