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It must have been 2am when Miyuki found himself out on the baseball fields. He was a regular insomniac; however, ever since gaining the new title as team captain, the anxiety has tripled. He wasn’t sure what exactly Yuki saw in him, but he couldn’t turn down the nomination. It hadn’t been long before he was already dealing with conflict among his teammates.
The four-eyed catcher sighed. It seemed like no one else could help settle his nerves—not like he would be seeking anyone else out, he never has. Miyuki’s thoughts wander to Isa. Again. She was also nominated as team captain, but she appeared to be handling it well. Maintaining relations with the student body president, participating in school events to really push the Seido Softball club onto students. Not only that, she seems to befriend all the softball players and connect their personalities together, in order for the team to work as a well oiled machine.
He shook his head to himself. Everytime he convinces himself to focus just on baseball, Isa appears in his mind, interrupting any productive train of thought he had. Ever since he was little, Miyuki had only himself and baseball to rely on. He didn’t have to worry about pleasing anyone. His “take it or leave it” personality proved difficult for people to get close to him, to really understand him. He automatically puts up walls whenever someone takes a closer look at him. No one had been resilient enough to keep trying. Except for her.
Miyuki takes a deep breath, trying to cut out his addiction to everything about Isabella Takigawa. He’s in uncharted territory, never feeling like this about anyone. The attachment he feels is too vulnerable to be entertaining the slightest possibility of rejection from Isa, but he seeks her out like a magnet. He needs to be 100% sure of Isa’s feelings towards him before he ever sheds light on how he feels. Miyuki wishes that she could be straight forward, but luckily for the two of them, they’re both equally stubborn about letting the other get an upper hand.
“Hey, captain.”
Miyuki jumps from the sudden voice, yanking himself away from his thoughts. He didn’t need to turn around to see who was behind him. He knew it was just the person he wanted to see.
“Sorry,” she apologizes, giggling, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Miyuki is thankful for the darkness of night and the dimness of the lamps because he was blushing with embarrassment. Embarrassed that he was thinking all those thoughts only to have the object of his attention pop up behind him.
“Nah, what do you mean? I jumped because I thought I felt a roach on my shoulder. But, this isn’t too far off from that either,” he smirks.
“Whatever,” Isa knees his shoulder before sitting down next to him on the stairs leading down to the field.
So many thoughts are flying through Miyuki’s brain, almost unable to process incoming sensory information. This setup was exactly like what he had in his head—his trusty genius guesswork at play.
“So captain, I wanted to ask how you're adjusting to this new role we have.”
The pair fixed their gazes to the stagnant field in front of them.
“What do you mean by that?” This was not what he expected to hear, deducing that she’s talking about the team captain role.
“Mochi told me what happened in the cafeteria. How Maezono almost beat your face in, talking about the Watanabe situation,” Isa answered monotonously, leaning forward, putting her head in her hands.
Miyuki twisted inside when she said Kuramochi’s nickname. That’s just how close they are.
Isa took Miyuki’s silence as a go ahead to continue. “Mr. Captain, you told him to quit when he was doubting his commitment to the team, saying all spots are replaceable, and that it doesn’t matter if he leaves the team or not.”
“You can quit calling me captain,” he murmured. “And I don’t need to be lectured about acceptable ways to handle situations that don’t involve yourself.”
“I’ve sat through enough of Chris’ lectures to know that kinda thing doesn’t work on people like us,” she breathed out, “And it still raises concern from me.”
“Why is that? You don’t even know Nabe,” he harshly replies, feeling defensive.
Isa sighs, sinking her head further down. “Have you ever felt unsure about your unwavering commitment to baseball? Or are you really that big of a baseball idiot?”
He mulls over that question. Of course he’s never doubted his passion for baseball. It was the one thing he excelled at, the one thing he’s always had to rely on.
“I guess I am that big of an idiot,” he replies, leaning back on his hands.
“Do you know the circumstances of why I’m here?” she motioned all around. “Here in Japan?” Isa turned her head to look back at her company.
The pretty boy shrugs. “I guess that the new softball team needed connections with players, and since you're Chris’ sister, they recruited you that way.”
“Well, I guess you're not technically wrong.”
Miyuki is trying to connect the dots of what Isa is hinting at and what it has to do with the Nabe situation. “What is the relevance of all this, right now?” he probes, impatiently.
“I was so sick of this sport, Miyuki,” she confesses. “I lied about playing softball to my dad for the past two years to keep him happy. And Chris was doing so well over here, my dad never came to the States to check up on me. Until he eventually found out. I’m sure you can guess what happened after that.”
She turned to fully face Miyuki. “And you know what? Having my teammates around me, letting me know that I have a place on the team, and that I'd be missed if I wasn’t spending time with them is what motivates me to show up and do my best. Knowing that they depend on me the way I depend on them makes me feel safe,” Isa spews out, getting glassy eyed. “And so when I heard about your actions of what happened today, I couldn’t help but feel… Betrayed and disappointed in you, in our friendship—if you could call it that.”
“I thought you said you didn’t come here to lecture me,” he grumbles.
“I’m here to tell you that I don’t know if I want to continue being close with someone who doesn’t understand how to be gentle when they need to be,” Isa dances around what she really wanted to say.
“So what if you're disappointed in how I run things?” Miyuki lets go of control and defaults to arguing.
Isa rolled her gold eyes. “Would it kill you to admit you made a mistake?” she raised her voice.
“I don’t comment on your actions with your team,” he spits back.
“Don’t make me say this, Miyuki,” Isa wraps her arms around herself as a cool fall breeze passes through the pair.
“Say it then.” Miyuki fights the urge to take off his jacket and place it on her shoulders.
The dark haired girl takes a deep breath. “Whatever that was going on between us—whatever that could’ve been more than friends—I don’t want to pursue that any longer. From now on, it’s strictly business—as captain to captain.”
Miyuki feels his heart tighten in his chest. Unwillingly, he muttered the worst response imaginable, “Hasn’t it always been just strangers?” All he can think of is her laughing with Kuramochi. Wearing his jacket. Confiding in him probably about how much Miyuki upset her that day. He has always been second place to Kuramochi.
He regretted it as soon as the words left his tongue. He saw Isa recoil into herself, clearly also hurt.
“Right. Just strangers,” Isa is quick on her feet and turns on her heels, sniffling as she races away.
Don’t go. Don’t leave me. He pleaded in his head. Why didn’t he say what he wanted— needed— to tell her.
“Isa!” Miyuki gets up to follow after her. “Wait!” he pleads.
She doesn’t turn around. He’s searching for anything to yell out to get her to stay, “Isa, please!” He’s never been this desperate for anything. For a second chance. He suddenly stops.
“Isa! You still owe me a favor!” he called out. She pauses, entering the courtyard of the softball dorms. “My favor is for you to hear me out, just this once.”
Isa was mentally kicking herself. Stupid, stupid, STUPID PROMISE. A favor? She was half expecting him to forget about that little deal. She tried her best to rub the tears from her eyes, obviously resulting in more irritated eyes. She had given that boy so many chances. Put up with him so many times, in exchange for the good times that they did share together. But I guess it was all just part of the ups and downs of his nature . She turns around to take in the full picture. Miyuki Kazuya, about 10 feet away, his face is dimly illuminated by the lamps lining the path. He looked in pain. Hurt. Well was he surprised I acted this way? Surely he knew he was pushing me away from him.
Isa let him catch up to her. “You have five minutes before I consider this favor complete and then you and I have nothing to do with each other,” she sternly warned him.
The weariness didn’t leave his eyes. Miyuki cleared his throat, “I’m so sorry.”
It meant nothing to her. “I’ve heard that before.”
“The last thing I meant to do is hurt you,” he continued, shifting his gaze to her feet.
Isa rolled her eyes. Even in his apology, these were just empty words, surely just to keep her strung along. She pulled out her phone and set a 5 minute timer.
“Please, I’m telling the truth, Isa. I’m not good with words, you know that. I’m not good with feelings, I’m not good at this sort of thing,” the catcher rambles trying to get his point across. “I didn’t know about your situation, and knowing it now—it doesn’t make me think any differently of you. It doesn’t make me despise you,” he paused. “In fact, it makes you seem more human to me.”
“Miyuki, that’s not the point. It wasn’t about your feelings towards me, it was about your actions towards your teammate,” she shook her head, long brown hair shimmering in the low light.
“I was wrong, okay? I’ll admit to it now. About handling Nabe,” he swiftly replies. “I see your point, I know I’m a piece of work when it comes to these things.”
Miyuki had wanted to tell her everything he’d been bottling up inside for the past couple of months, but knowing Isa, she would really only give him 5 minutes of talk. He sighed, looking back up at her face. She was beautiful to him, even when she was upset. That’s one of the reasons he had to be honest with her.
“Which is why it’s hard for me to say all of this. But I know I owe it to you and myself to be honest here. I truly do value our friendship, I probably hold it in the highest regard of all people,” he declared.
“Your actions don’t match your words. I think that’s why I don’t trust you anymore—I don’t even know what to think of you anymore,” Isa managed to say before more tears ran down her face. She didn’t care that he saw her crying—in fact, he needed to see this. Isa needed to stop hiding her anguish for so long, so Miyuki could face it.
Seeing Isa cry like that was like a dagger to the heart for Miyuki. He couldn’t imagine putting up with a monster like himself, only to keep going back to him. Isa was resilient in taking stabs at Miyuki’s walls, to continue getting close. “Isa, I…”
The pair made eye contact again. “I think I’m in love with you,” he slipped before his brain could catch up with his heart.
Isa wiped a few stray tears rolling down her cheeks. She felt her own heart betray her brain as it skipped a beat from those words. “This isn’t love, Miyuki,” she coldly replied.
“Yes it is!” he pleads, “I can’t name this feeling I have for you with anything else.”
“This is not how you treat someone you love ,” she furrowed her eyebrows, vision getting blurry again as another flurry of tears welled up in her eyes.
“I pushed you away because I’m scared if I get too close you’ll leave. So I bite the bullet and push you out first,” he says, shaking his head, “After all, didn’t you do the same?”
Isa looked away, “Yes, until you wore my defenses down and I didn’t want to bully each other anymore.”
He weakly smiled, “Well I think you just wore down mine, too.”
The boy with glasses stepped closer to Isa. “I love you,” he repeated.
His words were met with a gust of wind, rustling the leaves on trees. “Please, at least look at me,” he was starting to feel nervous about all this.
Following his command, Isa looked up at him. Her gaze was distant. This was what she’d wanted to hear from Miyuki for the longest time, but it came past its expiration date. “Prove it then. If I’m to believe that the past 6 months were all a facade, prove that you really do care about me.”
Miyuki frantically nods, promising to prove himself worthy. Unexpectedly, she placed a gentle hand on his chest. Over his heart. As Isa had hoped, it was beating fast—as if he had just spirited from the outfield to where she stands now. She wanted this all to be true, she wanted to love Miyuki. Hearts don’t lie . She smiled to herself, staring at his chest.
“That’s a good start,” she whispered, tapping his chest with one finger.
The touch made Miyuki hyper aware of his heart rate, only for it to spike when Isa took notice. Before she tucked her hand away, he pulled her into a hug. Miyuki had never really been this physically close with anyone, period. It felt so. Nice. No, that couldn’t even encapsulate how right this felt to him. Even if this was the only hug she would ever allow him, it was enough for him to be content. He wouldn’t ask her for more than this.
Isa could now hear the exact thud of his heart beat, as her ear was pressed up against his chest. She allowed herself to wrap her arms around him, sliding her hands under his open varsity letterman jacket. Isa idly traced her thumbs on his muscled back, as if comforting both of them.
“I don’t think I’ll sleep very well tonight,” he mumbled in her hair, sensing all places of touch, especially on his chest and back. He was being held by Isa, something he’s been after for a while now.
Isa indulges in the embrace, closing her eyes. The warmth of his chest and the strength of his arms around her allowed for the pain caused from the argument earlier to melt away. She had almost completely given up on Miyuki Kazuya, and just when she decided enough was enough, he decided to step in. Curious how the timing of all things are.
“I have one question,” Miyuki whispered.
“Go ahead,” she replied, willing to answer anything he’d throw her way, as she turned into putty with his physical contact. Isa could hear his heart rate slow as he relaxed in her embrace.
“What do you really feel towards me?”
“Hmm…” Isa contently grinned against his chest.
Suddenly, the 5 minute timer rang out from Isa’s phone, at full volume. She pushes out of the hug to locate her phone and turn it off, as she didn’t need to wake up the entire softball team at this hour.
Isa shut off the alarm and smirked, “Well, that was indeed your 5 minutes.”
Before Isa could look up at Miyuki, he pulled her in close by the waist. It took her by surprise of the strong grip he had, not intending to let go.
“I’m sure you can spare a few seconds,” the four-eyed catcher said in a low voice. He dipped his head down closer to hers, wearing a cheeky look.
She looked up into his eyes, playfully furrowing her eyebrows, poking his cheek.
“I feel that you’re worth it,” her face softened. “You’re worth the trouble to me,” she laced her fingers together behind his neck.
Miyuki was thrilled to hear that Isa deemed him conditionally worthy. He wore a mischievous grin, “That’s great to hear from my captain.”
He rested his forehead down onto Isa’s, getting dangerously close to her now. The catcher felt her warm breath on his face.
“You’re forgiven for what you said today, but you have to understand—I need time to trust you again.”
“Is that a direct order from my captain?”
“Consider it so,” Isa smirked. “And unlike you, I like the nickname,” she added, snaking out of Miyuki’s strong grip.
Another breeze pushes through the trees and through the pair. Nature must be the best wingman, giving Miyuki another chance. He swiftly takes off his letterman jacket and rests it on top of her shoulders. He pauses to admire the pretty sight, content with himself. Would Isa really be his girl?
“Hey, I’m going back to my dorm now,” Isa objects, beginning to slide the jacket off, “It really is late now.”
Miyuki stops her, “Don’t interrupt! This is one of my many ways of proving my love for Isa.”
She blushes, not familiar with playful teasing from Miyuki. Isa is used to antagonizing comments from him. “I cannot take this back with me! The girls will see it and gossip!”
“Nahaha. Let them talk about us then,” he grins as if he gets enjoyment out of playing with his food.
“Not yet!” Isa exclaims, beginning her journey to her door.
“Not yet?” He raises his eyebrows as he follows in step with her. “Is that a promise?”
Isa removes the jacket and reaches out her arm. “Thanks for the kind gesture, pretty boy.”
“I’m gonna get you, Isa—my captain.”
“I’ll enjoy watching you try.”
“Then I’ll start this morning then. See you in class,” he bid his final goodbye, right before they approached Isa’s door.
“Have a good night, Miyuki Kazuya,” Isa softly replied, before cracking open the door and slipping inside.