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"Um, Anzu!"
"Me?"
"Mhm, truth or dare?" Mao asked the question with a sparkle in his eyes, a response clearly at the ready as he carried on their game of truth or dare. They were about 4 rounds deep and had a bag and a half of chips left between them, the monthly Trickstar sleepover in full swing. It had been too long since all five of them were free and able to meet up, let alone play games like this, so Mao was savoring every moment he could get.
After a moment's hesitation, Anzu chose to play it safe. "Truth."
"You always choose truth, don't you?"
"No, she chose dare once. Akehoshi-kun made her prank call Akiomi-sensei, I think...?" Makoto butted in, Anzu nodding in confirmation. "It didn't go well, did it?" She shook her head, glancing at Subaru with something close to judgment.
Subaru, a fistful of chips still in his mouth, decided against commenting. He does exhibit the rare sign of self-preservation, after all.
"Okay, Anzu. Um, let's see... If you could have any superpower, what would you choose?"
"Easy. Super speed."
Her answer was immediate, a tired stare to match that showed it was something she wished for more days than not. Mao nodded in understanding. They shared a look only procurable by decades of hard work shrunk into weeks, of all-nighters pulled with nonstop laboring. Not needing to sleep would probably be her second choice, anything to lighten the burden of a workaholic.
"That was bo~ring, Sally! You looked so ready to ask something cool, too!"
"Hey, don't be rude! I had a cool dare ready, but you ruined that for me. Honestly, traumatizing Anzu like that... You should be ashamed."
"That was, like, a year ago. And Hokke tried to stop her, too. It's not my fault she went through with it."
"You should be ashamed, Akehoshi. You know she's stubborn," Hokuto said, patting Subaru's head in what looked like a reprimand but came across more like petting a dog. Subaru smiled up at him, seated on the floor between Hokuto's legs, who chose the probably wiser option of sitting on the couch. He held out a chip as if in apology, Hokuto accepting it after a moment of weakness.
Anzu smiled softly at the two of them. Then, she smiled again, all softness gone. "Subaru."
He paused mid-chew, looking to Anzu and noting the gleam in her eyes. He would have to proceed carefully. This could be a very belated revenge in the making. Subaru swallowed the last of the chips in his mouth before giving a knowing nod to Anzu, accepting his fate.
"Truth or dare?"
"...Truth." The rest of the room showed a rare sign of surprise, but this was Trickstar. The only surprising thing they could truly manage was not surprising anyone. They should've known Subaru would finally break his only dare streak one of these days.
Well, the reason he didn't choose dare was that Hokuto's legs were very warm and comfy, and he didn't want to risk having to move. But, unless that was Anzu's question, he'd take that to his grave.
Anzu floundered for a moment, no doubt caught off guard by Subaru's surprise change in tactics. After a moment, she decided, settling on a question equal parts embarrassing and interesting.
"Who... was your first crush?" Anzu blushed red as she spoke, as if she was the one being asked. She was always fond of romance and shoujo manga cliches like this, so Subaru wasn't surprised at the question. No one in the room was, but based on the way their eyes stayed trained on Subaru, they sure were interested in the answer.
He was never one to talk about love and romance and all that stuff, but it wasn't like Subaru didn't feel attracted to people. He had a few crushes as a kid, but he never had hopes of them going anywhere. Not like he got the chance to get close to anyone, after all. No, Subaru accepted since he knew what those flutters in his chest meant that he'd always be alone. Until...
He risked a look to Hokuto, who was watching him with an appraising look while Subaru thought through his answer. Until Subaru met him and everyone else in Trickstar, he never expected to make real friends or have these connections. Now, his heart was too full of love for his fans and unitmates and all the sparkles in the world. Romance was far from his brain, and he accepted it as a lost cause even when the occasional thought popped up.
But...
"My first crush... I think I remember her? There was this one girl I met as a kid. I think I was 5 at the time... She was around my age, probably. I had... run away from home to go meet with my dad, and she found me and dragged me off when a police officer stopped me." Subaru paused, his face warm. He didn't want to risk looking up at the others as he continued his story. "She was... intense. It was a little scary, but I think she was my first friend. We talked for the whole night after her, um, babysitter decided to take me home. I remember thinking she was hard to deal with but not having anywhere else to go, and then..."
"She smiled at me, and all my negative thoughts vanished. All I could think was how cute she was, and how nice she had been to reach out to me and rope me into her plans. We never talked again after that day, but she was hard to forget. Ah, but- Man, this is so sappy. It's embarrassing!"
Subaru finally risked a look around the room, Anzu hiding a squeal behind her hands with her face even more red than Subaru's, Mao listening with a smile, Makoto struggling to open their last bag of chips... His face was red for a different reason, the bag refusing to give in to his efforts. Mao took pity on him, opening it with a single tug. They should really up Makoto's training one of these days...
"So, you did have crushes before. I'm a little surprised, to be honest," Makoto said, attempting to redirect attention from his struggle. Subaru shrugged, leaning over to snag one of the fresh chips.
"Well, yeah. I bet most of us have, right? Probably even Hokke~!"
"Hidaka-kun with a crush..." Makoto stared off into the distance, images flashing through his mind of all Hokuto's potential romantic endeavors. He repressed a shudder. For someone who sang about love and played up their fan service so much, the idea of Hokuto and actual romance seemed so far removed from his usual self. But, the prince was supposed to find a princess eventually, right?
Then again, they were idols. Maybe it'd be best to leave any talk of romance at the door. Even if the industry was more forgiving of it these days, fans still weren't fond of seeing their favorite idols paired off for good. That's what Makoto tells himself when he gets lonely late at night, at least.
"So she was your first friend and your first crush? That's... so cute..." Anzu held back another squeal as she stared expectantly at Subaru, waiting for more information. "You said you never saw her again, but do you remember anything about her? Maybe you two could be reunited."
"You've been reading shoujo manga with Isara-kun again, haven't you?"
"...Maybe. But you agree, right, Makoto?"
Makoto fumbled for a moment with the question turned against him, crumpling the bag of chips in his hands as he thought through his reply. Mao snatched them from him once his concern about them being left with nothing but crushed up chips reached a high, leaving Makoto wringing his hands. "Well, I guess. I mean, it's a cute story, but she could be all the way in Hokkaido for all we know!"
"Dude, we were just in Hokkaido. Not a great point."
"Ah, that's true. She could be in Russia."
"Why Russia!?"
"It was the first country I thought of! You guys have to give me more time for these quips, you know that!"
Mao shook his head in defeat, letting Makoto's misery come to an end. He handed the bag of chips back once the other seemed less humiliated, taking a few for himself as Makoto carried on his snacking.
Subaru spoke up then, having spent the time during their attempted bit thinking through his response. "It was years ago, and I was pretty young, so I really can't remember much. She had long black hair, definitely. And, um... Uh..."
He trailed off, looking around for reminders over a decade too late. But, Anzu was looking at him with that determined sparkle in her eyes she gets when she wants to concoct a plan. How could Subaru leave her hanging like that?
"OH! Her name!"
"You still remember her name? That's perfect!" Anzu raised her voice with a rare show of excitement, leaning forward like Subaru's next words would determine the course of her life. Or his, if Anzu had her way. Subaru wondered if all girls were this passionate, or if he just had a knack for meeting people like them.
"Don't get too excited, it was just a nickname I think. She called herself Ho- Hokke!?"
"Hokke...? That's a weird name for- Huh!?" Makoto's rebuttal was cut short as he realized Subaru wasn't revealing the name of his distant childhood crush and was instead turning his attention to Hokuto, who currently had his face buried deep in his hands.
"Hokke, are you alright? You're super flushed! Are you sick?" Subaru got up from the floor to lift Hokuto's head from his hands, revealing the other's beet red face, a thin sheen of sweat coating his brow. Subaru patted at him, his forehead creased in genuine concern. "Oh no, you're so warm... Um, uh, Anzu! Ice pack! That's what Hidakas like, right?"
That was a great opportunity for a comeback, but Makoto was too distracted to take it. Was Hokuto seriously sick? Mao joined Subaru at his side, confirming for himself how warm Hokuto was.
"I'm fine, Akehoshi. Really."
"Hm, but you've been super stiff all night. And you're all red and warm and sweaty. Most of those are normal for you, actually, but warm? Hokke? You're, like, the ice prince!"
"He's right, Hokuto. You are warm. Are you sure you feel okay?"
"Yes. Thank you, but- Ah, Anzu, you really got the ice pack..." Hokuto took the proffered item from Anzu, whose earlier excitement was now replaced by the worry mirrored on everyone else's face. Despite his claims of feeling fine, he still rubbed his head against its cool surface. "I was feeling warm, so thank you. But, really, I'm not sick. I just..."
"You just what? Wait, don't tell me..." Makoto joined the others in their huddle around Hokuto as he spoke, nudging his glasses up in preparation for his big reveal. "You got embarrassed by Akehoshi-kun's story, too!? Does Hidaka-kun truly experience and exhibit shame?"
"Be quiet. That's not it at all."
"Shot down! Tough luck, Ukki~."
"It feels like you guys are ganging up on me tonight..." Makoto slumped forward, taking some comfort when Anzu and Mao both reached out to pat his shoulder. A look of solidarity passed between the three of them, understanding what it was like to deal with Hokuto and Subaru all too well. "So, if you're not sick and you're not embarrassed, what's up?"
"Hot flash, maybe?" Subaru suggested, hand pressed up against Hokuto's forehead. It was a lot cooler now, probably thanks to the ice pack Hokuto was currently cradling against his shirt. He was still flushed, though.
"Aren't those for women after they go through menopause or something? Uh, Anzu...?"
Anzu jumped at Mao's address, a momentary flash of betrayal on her face. "Don't look at me, I'm still young! I think there are other reasons you can have a hot flash, though. Probably."
"I am not going through menopause or having a hot flash, I am not embarrassed by Akehoshi's endeavors with love, and I am not sick. Don't worry about it, guys."
"You say that, but..."
"Don't worry about it."
"Ugh, fine. Okay, um... Ukki~! Truth or dare?"
"Huh? We're moving on just like that!?"
"Keep up, you slow little monkey!"
"No, aren't you just too fast?"
The rest of Trickstar backed away from Hokuto and returned to their rightful spots, concern ebbing away in place of enjoying their rare time together. The game continued on until the snacks ran out, then came an attempt at sleeping, then a spontaneous pillow fight Anzu was the surprise champion of. Her stealth skills came in handy in the strangest places.
The evening was remembered fondly, Hokuto's momentary weirdness and Subaru's embarrassing confession fading into the background as everyday occurrences. Trickstar never had a dull moment, and things like this weren't notable enough to stay in everyone's mind. Anzu would be lying if she claimed she didn't consider prodding the issue of Subaru's long lost love more, but that was the romantic in her heart singing out that she managed to silence eventually.
Until...
"Akehoshi. Can we talk later?" Weeks later, Hokuto approached Subaru with those words, his expression giving nothing away. Camped out in their studio and still recovering from their latest performance, a full day of Christmas-themed songs, dances, and chaos, Subaru was mainly interested in lounging out and pelting Makoto with peanuts. Makoto seemed more interested in getting away and playing video games in peace, for whatever reason.
"Uh, sure. What about?"
Hokuto glanced at Makoto, his lips pressed together in a firm line. "Nothing bad, probably. I'll tell you later." Before Subaru could reply, asking any of his follow-up questions, and before Makoto could get off the beginning attempt of a joke on his lips, Hokuto walked off.
"Did you do something again, Akehoshi-kun? He seemed mad... And he sure left fast."
"Maybe he's tired? We performed all night last night, and his dad was there, so..." Subaru flicked a peanut over, letting out a small woop when it landed right between Makoto's eyes, bouncing off his glasses.
"Agh, stop! I'm in the middle of a boss fight, Akehoshi-kun!"
"So am I! You're the final boss, Ukki~!"
Makoto let off one final scream as Subaru expertly pelted peanuts into his hair, the grey screen of death and defeat staring back at him. Time to restart all his progress...
Once Makoto gave in and found some other room to hide from stray peanuts in, Subaru left to meet with Hokuto after receiving a very curt text. "First floor. Kitchen. 10 minutes." Hokuto wasn't the best at texting, and he didn't love using his phone, so any messages were a rarity. It was no surprise he was bad at it.
"Kitchen in ten minutes, I guess? Well, Ukki ran off, so I can probably just head down now." Subaru started on the path downstairs, wondering what Hokuto could possibly want this time. He had been behaving himself recently, hadn't bought anything weird with their shared budget, had saved his bullying exclusively for Makoto, and had all around been an upstanding citizen. Santa no doubt wanted to leave him a mountain of presents for his good behavior.
Maybe it was an early Christmas present? And he didn't want the others to know because he only got one for Subaru? Mao wasn't coming to the studio today or tomorrow, claiming he wanted to spend some time with his family for the holidays, while Makoto was easy enough to get off the trail by just waiting for him to start a new game. Anzu... was always busy. She was hard at work setting up another idol festival, the waves of jobs during Christmas remaining unrelenting. Subaru was just glad they had two days to breathe, though there was still work to do.
"Hokke~ You in here?"
Subaru waltzed into their shared kitchen, fully stocked with nonperishables in case of storms or zombie apocalypses, at Mao and Hokuto's insistence, respectively. Hokuto stood at a counter, looking over a piece of paper with his familiar, clean script covering it. When he heard Subaru's voice, he covered the letter instinctively, staring at the other in shock.
"I said ten minutes, Akehoshi. Did you forget how to read? Or count?"
"Nope! I was just bored and headed over early. Whatcha writing?"
"It's..." Hokuto looked down at it, a furious internal debate happening behind his eyes. His cheeks flushed red, and Subaru had the strangest recollection of a similar expression on his face. He also, briefly, thought that embarrassed look was very, very cute.
"It's... for you. Just-"
"For me? Yay! Gimme, gimme~," Subaru sang out, snatching the letter from Hokuto before he could react. He had gotten through the first three words- "Dear Akehoshi, I"- when it was pulled away from him.
"Idiot. D-Don't read it here, it's-"
"It's what? Embarrassing? Did Hokke pour out his heart and all his sappy feelings into this letter? Ah, don't tell me! It's a love confession, right?"
Subaru laughed like it was a joke, which it was, but when he saw Hokuto flush even deeper, struggling to hide his face behind overgrown bangs, all the humor seemed to fade out. His laughter died down, replaced with a sinking feeling in his gut and a familiar flutter in his heart.
"It's... It's not actually a love confession, is it?"
"Would it be a problem if it was?"
At Hokuto's non-answer, Subaru reached forward, taking the letter again. He was slow about it, giving ample time and warning for Hokuto to pull away if he really wanted to. Hokuto released it without a fight.
His handwriting was easy to read, clean and simple. It didn't take Subaru long to reach the end, where the only extra flavor in his penmanship was found, a single heart drawn next to his signature. How fitting, ending a love letter off with a heart. He was always fond of the classics.
A... love letter. Hokuto really was spilling his guts out in a heartfelt confession, with feelings he had been harboring for over a year now. For Subaru.
For Subaru. Hokuto had feelings for him. He... Huh?
"Huh?"
"What? Is that your answer, then, Akehoshi?"
"Huh? Wait, no! Ugh, this is all so sudden. You're so unfair, Hokke..."
"I'm unfair? You're the one who confessed you had a crush on me in front of everyone in Trickstar!"
"When did I- Oh, wait. The sleepover... I guess I did, huh? But, you're the one who didn't say anything when you realized who I was talking about! It's not like I remembered it was you!"
"Well, you used to like me, right? Do you still like me? Just answer the question, Akehoshi!"
"Of course I still like you! That's not the point here!"
"Yes it is! That is completely the point! I- Wait, you do? So, is that a yes?"
"I mean, I've liked you since I was like five, right? Honestly, if I had just known you liked me back..."
"You didn't even know that was me before, like, a week ago! I'm the one who's been pining after you for the past year!"
"Is this a competition? Because I'll win if it is. Hokke, I've loved you for years! You can't compete with that!"
"Oh yeah? Well, I'm the one who confessed first!"
"If we're counting the sleepover, that should work as a confession, right? So I win there, too!"
"I- I- Shut up, Akehoshi!"
Subaru complied, if only because he got annoyed enough to finally walk over and drag Hokuto to him, planting a firm kiss on his lips. "I initiated the first kiss. Top that, Hokke~"
"I'll start planning our first date right now, then."
"Oh, you're on."