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If one were to ask Reimu what her favorite point in Fall was, she would say right now, when the trees surrounding the shrine had donned their autumnal colors but had yet to fall. It made for a nice change of pace after two consecutive seasons of green. Not that there was anything wrong with green. In fact, she’d come to better appreciate that color in recent months thanks to a certain someone.
But more importantly, the leaves changing color made for the perfect excuse to take a day to relax and sit around on the oratory’s steps while appreciating the beauty. A day like today. Nobody else was around; Marisa seemed to be off somewhere else today, same for Aunn and all the other usual visitors. No prior engagements in the village, either. Meaning Reimu was left alone with nothing to do.
Which she didn’t mind. A little solitude here and there did wonders for her peace of mind.
Still, she’d already gotten three straight days of it, with today looking to be number four. This was getting a bit excessive. Everyone needed a little company sometimes, even her.
But who could she look to for that? Not someone who would liven things up, not right now. A day like this needed a companion who could enjoy the quiet with her. Someone like...
... No, not her. She lived too far away. And a day trip to Hell did not sound fun.
But maybe she could come instead and... No. She rarely had the time, and it hadn’t even been a week since her last visit.
Although she was stopping by more frequently lately, so maybe...
Reimu sighed. “Four days and I already miss her. I don’t know if I’m cut out for this long-distance relationship stuff.”
In theory, it should have been as easy as her usual routine of just waiting around. But it wasn’t. If anything, the usual routine and her relationship were total opposites. The former involved savoring the down time between odd jobs and incidents; the latter involved lots of pining between her girlfriend’s visits. That the two overlapped with each other only made it worse.
“I really wanna see her...”
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. She couldn’t remember where she first heard that; likely sometime before she understood it. Before now. And she swore that understanding only made the fondness worse, so much so it almost had her seriously contemplating taking a long, reckless, perilous journey.
“... but I really don’t wanna go to Hell.”
Almost.
Unfortunately, no amount of fondness could make that trek worthwhile. Even setting aside the distance, venturing into Hell without a guide was far too risky. She lucked out on all her previous trips there, but chancing it yet again for no good reason was just too reckless, even for her.
Reimu could go visit someone else, anyone else. But in this state, just anyone else wouldn’t do. It had to be her. And that wasn’t happening.
Sighing again, Reimu shook her head, closed her eyes. Maybe shutting out the sight of the empty shrine grounds would help take her mind off things. Shut out the sights, focus on the sounds. The leaves rustling in the breeze, the birds twittering, the...
Wait.
Were those footsteps? It was a bit hard to tell, given they sounded far off, but they seemed to be getting closer and... Yes, those were definitely footsteps.
She opened her eyes, stared, blinked, did a double take. A head of black hair adorned with a pair of short horns, rising from the stairway. Then a pair of red eyes, followed by an all too familiar smile that radiated self-assuredness.
“Zanmu!”
Face lighting up, Reimu leaped up and nearly ran over to tackle-hug her, only for a sudden pang of self-consciousness to stop her in her tracks.
Not even a week apart and she was acting like some stereotypical lovestruck young maiden straight out of a romance novel! Not that she read those, but still. Talk about shameful.
And Zanmu just got here after a long trip from Hell. No way she’d want Reimu smothering her after all that.
She had to play it cool. Act like she usually did.
...
How did she usually act again?
Um...
Well, approaching her might be a good place to start. Just, you know, casually.
Except something in Zanmu’s approach made her hesitate. More specifically, something in the way Zanmu moved. It carried a feeling of intent. Same for that look in her eyes. But what that intent was, Reimu couldn’t tell. Regardless, she stayed in place.
Did Zanmu want something? Was that why she’s paying another visit so soon after the last one? She never brought anything with her, so it wasn’t like she forgot something and came back to get it; she’d have come back even sooner if that were the case. Which would have been nice, of course, but even setting that aside—
Her thoughts were cut short. Arms wrapped around her waist. They pulled her forward, gently so, as if they were more prompting Reimu to move than actually moving her.
Their lips met. Light to the touch, so much so that Reimu barely felt it. It lingered too long to be a peck, but no other word fit. Just barely scratching the surface of what they could do, as chaste as chaste could be. All their kisses were like this. But for Reimu, they were...
Well...
They were enough the first few times, and they still made her blush, but these days she found herself yearning for something a little more. Or at least more kisses.
But she couldn’t ask that of Zanmu. Who wanted a needy girlfriend? Always demanding to be smothered in affection… Ugh. It was exhausting just to think about.
Which was why, with reluctance, Reimu let them separate, arms leaving her waist. What little warmth was there faded almost instantly. Ah, today was colder than she realized...
They held each other’s gazes. For just a moment, just a far too brief moment, she thought she saw something in Zanmu’s eyes. What that something was she couldn’t make out. It vanished too quickly, replaced with their usual poise.
“Hello, Reimu.” Zanmu’s smooth voice tickled Reimu’s ears. “It’s wonderful to see you again.”
“Uh, y-yeah! You too!” Mentally wincing at her pathetic response, Reimu gathered her nerves and demanded they behave themselves. Reluctantly, they complied. “I-I was, I was just thinking! About you. Actually. But, um, why so soon?”
Zanmu’s smile softened. “I just wanted to see you,” she said in an equally soft tone. “I hope I’m not being a bother.”
“No! I-I mean, no, of course not. Actually, you came at a good time. I’ve got nothing going on lately, so I’ve been feeling kind of lone—Bored! I’ve been feeling kind of bored. Since last time.” Reimu laughed sheepishly.
Zanmu laughed too, in that good-natured way one does when humoring somebody. “Then it’s a good thing I came back so soon.”
“Yeah, seriously.” Another sheepish laugh. “Sooo, umm...” An awkward pause. “Wanna come in? I’ll make us some tea.”
“Yes, that sounds nice. Thank you.”
Turning on her heel, Reimu waved for Zanmu to follow with maybe a bit more enthusiasm than necessary. And with her back turned and face safely out of her girlfriend’s view, she finally let the goofy grin tugging at her lips do as it pleased.
Ah, love. So frustrating, but so wonderful too.
The tea prep allowed plenty of time for Reimu to settle down. She was still happy as can be to have Zanmu over, of course, just in a more manageable way. And not like an awkward youth stumbling over their words while asking their crush out.
Although, as wonderful as this surprise visit was, it did beg the question why exactly Zanmu paid another one so soon. Simply wanting to see Reimu was generally a satisfactory enough explanation—it was the only reason she ever came to Gensokyo, after all—but something nagged at Reimu, insisting Zanmu wasn’t giving the full answer.
Her intuition wasn’t unfounded either. Something about that look in Zanmu’s eyes every time Reimu glanced over at her gave the impression she had something on her mind. She seemed pensive, or maybe wistful. Or like Zanmu wanted something.
The frustrating part was how brief those looks were. They lasted for maybe a split second every time their eyes met, only to disappear behind a polite smile. It kind of bothered Reimu. Not enough to outright ruin her mood, but enough that she started to worry their relationship had already hit a snag of some kind.
... Well, best not to dwell on it. If there was a problem, she’d just have to do what she always did and tackle it head on. Nothing got better from just sitting around. And someone as guarded as Zanmu would never admit to any personal issues without pressing her.
Then again, maybe there wasn’t a problem. Maybe Zanmu just had something she wanted to talk about and was waiting for the right moment. If that were the case, Reimu would just have to prepare herself for a meandering conversation that eventually circled around to the main point. Which sounded nice.
Once the tea was finally ready, Reimu filled their cups and brought them over to the table where Zanmu waited. She put down Zanmu’s first, pausing as the two exchanged smiles, then sat down opposite her.
Zanmu glanced down at the cup. “Ah, green again. Is it your favorite?”
“It’s just what I have,” Reimu replied. “I can’t afford the good stuff, so I make do with this.”
“Are no other types within your budget? No black, or white, or anything?”
“No, there are. It’s just...” She glanced off to the side, blushing a bit. “I’ve kind of...grown fond of green lately...”
“Oh?”
A small nod. “I-It’s a nice color...”
Chuckling softly, Zanmu brought the cup to her lips and took a small sip. “Not too bad, considering. Certainly better than most of the brews you can find in Hell.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Though I must confess, there is some bias in that statement.” Zanmu grinned at her.
A failed attempt at a reply sputtered out of Reimu’s mouth. She rubbed the back of her head, laughing sheepishly. She tried again, this time opting for a simple thanks.
“So,” Zanmu said, “you said nothing much has happened since my last visit?”
Finishing a sip of her own tea, Reimu replied, “More like nothing at all. Nobody’s come to visit, and the usual troublemakers are laying low right now. Nothing going on in the village either.”
Well, more likely there were and Sanae was snatching them all up. But whatever, Reimu could worry about that later.
“Hm, interesting.” Zanmu sipped her tea. “Would you consider it a suspicious calm, or a peaceful one?”
“Definitely peaceful. I haven’t heard any rumors or anything going around.” Reimu shrugged. “Really, literally nothing’s happened since your last visit.”
“Ah. Well then, it’s a good thing I’ve come to break up the monotony.” A smirk tugged at Zanmu’s lips. “Especially considering you’re so... What was it you said again? Bored? Or was it lonely?”
Reimu blushed. She grunted but didn’t respond otherwise, eliciting a chuckle from Zanmu.
Not that she actually minded the teasing. It was even kind of fun, in a weird way. Just like the rest of the conversation.
But this was just small talk, an icebreaker. And because that ice had now been broken, it was time to cut to the chase.
Reimu cleared her throat. “So, I know you said you just wanted to see me, but, um...” Shoot, how should she phrase this?
“You want to know why I want to see you?”
She flinched. “Urk...”
That got a chuckle out of Zanmu. “What? You act as if it’s embarrassing to have your question preempted.”
“Because it is...”
Another chuckle. “Dear Reimu, I have never met a book as open as you.”
Reimu’s blush returned, deeper than before. Biting back an impulse to make a dismissive remark, she instead sighed out her embarrassment. “So anyway, about your reason?”
“Ah, yes, right. That.” Zanmu, smile dropping a bit, looked down into her tea. “Would you be surprised if I said there is no deeper reason?”
“Huh?”
She looked back up, once again sporting that look of longing she had earlier. Only this time, she didn’t bother hiding it. “My wanting to see you is purely for its own sake.” She chuckled dryly. “It’s strange, isn’t it? That I would do such a thing purely on a whim.”
“That...” Reimu shook her head slowly. “No, it’s not. Your last few visits were ‘purely on a whim’ too, remember?”
“Yes, I remember. You don’t find that odd of me?”
“No. There’s nothing odd about wanting to see your...g-girlfriend.”
Ugh, that word still sounded so awkward coming out of her mouth. And such a simple one, too. Why did it take so much effort to say, especially to the one who was, in fact, her girlfriend?
Reimu sighed. “Anyway, my point is it’s not weird. If you’re being weird about anything, it’s you acting like it should be weird. And that’s just weird.”
She waited, expecting a dry remark about how awkwardly phrased that was. But no such remark came. Or any remark, for that matter. All she got out of Zanmu was silence and that same look from earlier.
“... But,” Reimu finally said, “it does feel like you want something from me.”
That snapped Zanmu out of her thoughts. She looked a little shocked, as if Reimu read her mind. “Of course I do,” she replied. “I’m here for your company.”
“Yeah, but I mean wanting something specific out of it. Like you want to do something with me.”
She only threw that last bit out there as a random guess, but judging from the way Zanmu looked even more shocked, she’d hit the mark. Reimu couldn’t help but smirk at that.
An uncharacteristic moment of hesitation passed before Zanmu replied, “I suppose you’re not wrong.”
“Can you tell me what it is?”
Reimu bit her lip. Her tone sounded more annoyed than she intended. Zanmu’s usual roundabout way of doing things did occasionally wear on her nerves, but this wasn’t the time to be impatient. Openness didn’t come easily to someone who had kept others at a distance for centuries. She knew that.
But she also knew there was a limit to how much you could beat around the bush. Sometimes, you just had to cut straight to the chase.
Zanmu averted her gaze, mouth forming a thin line. An extended silence, then she sipped her tea, then more silence. Finally, she spoke, “I can, and I know I should.” She shook her head. “Sometimes I envy that directness of yours...”
She turned back to Reimu, licked her lips. “Well, to be perfectly honest with you, Reimu, I... What I want is...” A deep breath, followed by an even stare. “I want to kiss you.”
... To kiss her.
Zanmu came all the way here…just to kiss her?
“You—” Ack, voice crack! Reimu cleared her throat. “Y-You mean, besides the one you gave me earlier?”
Wordlessly, Zanmu gave a small nod. The faintest hint of pink tinted her cheeks.
“O-Oh, um...” Suddenly, Reimu’s nerves didn’t want to cooperate. She made them do it anyway. “Should we, I-I don’t know, do it right now?”
The pink in Zanmu’s cheeks grew more prominent, but her expression remained unchanged otherwise. “I certainly can’t see any reason not to,” she answered slowly.
“A-Alright. Then, um, uh... Hang on, let me just...” Without really getting up from her seated position, Reimu shuffled around the table and over to Zanmu’s side. Zanmu turned to face her straight on, and they exchanged awkward smiles.
At that point, Reimu waited. Zanmu said she wanted to kiss her, so it only made sense she initiated things.
Long, long seconds that felt closer to hours passed with neither of them moving. They stared at each other all the while. Well, Reimu stared. Zanmu’s eyes were on her, but less on Reimu herself and more on her lips.
Which made Reimu blush.
There were a few false starts. Zanmu didn’t seem to know what to do with her hands. First she reached for Reimu’s shoulders, only to stop halfway there, then try for her upper arms only to hesitate again. She pulled back and tried again, this time reaching for Reimu’s own hands resting on her knees. She pulled back again.
Eventually, Zanmu settled for bracing her arms on the floor as she leaned forward, tilting her head a bit to one side. Reimu, with butterflies in her stomach, closed her eyes and tilted her own head the other way.
A moment of anticipation, and then, finally...
She felt it.
Barely.
Granted, what little she could feel was nice, but again, she felt little.
It was just as light as the one from earlier and, just like that one, barely qualified as anything more than a peck. Hardly worthy of being considered a kiss.
The butterflies fluttered out of Reimu’s stomach, replaced with a small pit of disappointment. She opened her eyes with every intention of expressing said disappointment only to find it mirrored on Zanmu’s face. None of the usual self-assuredness. No, she still had that same look of yearning.
Wait, yearning? After they already kissed?
“Hey.”
Zanmu flinched at the sound of Reimu’s voice. “Yes?”
“Are you holding back?”
She flinched again, glanced down at the floor between them, then back up. “Does it seem that way to you?”
Reimu nearly gave a curt reply in the affirmative, but she held her tongue and nodded instead.
Again, Zanmu looked down. A resigned sigh. She looked back up once more, offering no words, only an apologetic smile.
This odd behavior was starting to worry Reimu. “Can I ask why?”
Zanmu didn’t hesitate to respond this time. “Well, while my physical strength may not be on the same level as the other oni you know, I...” But then she trailed off, shook her head. “No, you wouldn’t believe such an obvious excuse. The truth then, as you deserve.”
Reimu raised an eyebrow, but stayed silent.
Zanmu took a deep breath, then continued, “I must confess, Reimu, romantic gestures are...difficult for me. The idea of, of touching you and confessing my wants is still so unfamiliar to me. You must have noticed it earlier, how preoccupied I was when I came to greet you. It took all the concentration I had to commit to that hug and kiss. It’s like that every time. If I don’t do that, I start talking myself out of it. As if...
“As if I fear my feelings are a bother to you.”
Reimu felt a pang of sympathy at that. How many times did she have to force herself to openly call Zanmu her girlfriend, or express any kind of affection? And if it was this hard for her, a human who’s only lived a few decades, then to someone who’s lived for centuries and only just now begun dipping her toes into the world of romance...
That...actually made Reimu feel a little better about herself. And made her laugh.
Zanmu laughed as well, but in a more sardonic way. “It is rather silly of me, isn’t it?”
“N-No, no! Not like that!” Reimu waved her hands frantically. “I didn’t mean it like that! I just realized we were in the same boat and felt kind of happy about it! That’s all! Really!”
Zanmu stared, taken aback. The sides of her lips twitched a few times. Then she laughed again, this time more jovially. “Ah, forgive me, I didn’t expect such a strong reaction. But I am grateful you didn’t mean to mock me.”
“Well, I mean...” Reimu fidgeted with one of her hair tubes. “Come on, I wouldn’t laugh at you for something like that.”
“True. You did just say we were in the same boat, after all.” Zanmu smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners. “And I must admit, that makes me happy as well.”
“It does?” Reimu stopped fidgeting, tilted her head. “You sure? I wouldn’t think it’s a good thing we’re both kind of bad at this...”
“It means we have one more thing in common. And though we may be...inexperienced, that just means we can learn together.”
That...was a good point. And it made Reimu smile. It also helped that Zanmu was blushing a bit as she said that; good to know even she got embarrassed showing open affection.
Though that still left one important question...
“So, now what?”
Zanmu froze. “Well,” she said a bit slowly, “given our inexperience, I would assume the only course of action is to... You know.”
Reimu did know. “Practice?” she asked, also a bit slowly.
Zanmu nodded. Slowly.
Just like every other time this kind of situation popped up, Reimu hesitated. Not something she did often, was hesitating, and when it did happen it was usually because she found herself plagued with questions. Or in this case, one question with so many different branching parts it made the act of even beginning to answer daunting.
To make matters worse, Zanmu was also hesitating.
They both knew nothing would move forward like this. One of them had to take the initiative. Zanmu couldn’t do that, she was too much of a planner. But Reimu...
Reimu was an old hand at charging headfirst into unfamiliar territory.
Steeling her nerves one more time, she took a deep breath, held it, exhaled. Then she cupped Zanmu’s cheeks with both hands. Such smooth skin, nothing like one would expect from a resident of Hell...
No, no getting distracted.
She fixed Zanmu with a determined stare, answering the unspoken question clear on Zanmu’s face. They blushed. A brief stall, then Reimu tilted her head, leaned forward, closed her eyes, and...
They kissed. Not a light touch, like before, a proper kiss. Firmer, but still a bit tender. Definitely more than a peck.
Zanmu didn’t push back, but she didn’t pull back either. It wasn’t until Reimu pulled away and let go of her face that she made any kind of reaction—a soft noise, kind of like an “Ah”.
“Why did you stop?” Zanmu realized what she said the instant the words left her lips, and her blush deepened.
As did Reimu’s. “You... I mean I... L-Look, we have to pace these things, right? We can’t just...go all out right away, we have to...you know...work up to it.”
A decent enough point, clumsy delivery aside. Zanmu accepted it with a small nod. “And I agree. That being said...” A hand came up to her mouth, fingers ghosting along her lips. “Would you consider our current pace...adequate?”
Reimu bit her lip. “Not really.”
That kiss was a step up from previous ones, but considering how low a bar that was...
Another small nod from Zanmu. “We’re in agreement, then.”
They wanted more.
Reimu initiated again, less hesitant this time, but otherwise the same as before. And just like before, not entirely satisfying. So she initiated again. And again. And again. And—
“Wait.” Zanmu held her shoulders. “Please, allow me. It’s only fair.”
Caught off-guard by the request, Reimu stammered an “Okay,” and pulled back. This was what Zanmu came for, after all. It only made sense for her to take the lead.
There was a moment of anticipation as Zanmu did nothing. Well, nothing physical. Based on what she said earlier, she had to be mentally prepping herself. That was fine. Reimu just had to be patient for a minute or two and—
Oh, never mind, she was ready now.
A much firmer kiss than Zanmu’s previous ones. It still felt like she was holding back. Not as much as before, but still more restrained than Reimu’s kisses.
That changed with the next one. Even firmer, more insistent, and longer lasting. She leaned a little further forward, hands resting on either side of Reimu’s legs.
She kissed again. And then again, and again, and so on. They grew shorter each time, but also pushier. More fervent. More passionate. No lingering hesitation to be found.
It reached a point where the kisses came in rapid succession. Zanmu gradually advanced on Reimu, the latter slowly lowering herself to the floor as the former straddled her. A voice in the back of Reimu’s head told her to slow things down. She ignored it. They had a good pace going; no point in ruining that now. Not when it felt so right.
This was exactly what they needed. To take all their pent-up feelings and just let them run wild.
The kissing flurry spread out to cover all of Reimu’s face. Her cheeks, her nose, her forehead, and everything else. It made her giggle.
Not wanting a one-sided exchange, she responded in kind. Or tried to. With Zanmu leading, Reimu struggled to get a good shot in. But she figured out the rhythm before long and launched her counteroffensive. It wasn’t long before Reimu had covered Zanmu’s face just as thoroughly as Zanmu had hers. Every so often their lips met, accidentally the first few times, intentionally every time after.
They slowed down eventually. Reimu stopped first, content with the amount she’d gotten in. Zanmu also stopped not long after. She eased off of Reimu, helped her sit up while still straddling her lap. They looked into each other’s eyes for a moment, then laughed softly.
It was then that Reimu finally realized she’d embraced Zanmu at some point. Self-consciousness hit her, and she began to pull away...
Only for Zanmu to grab one of her hands and kiss the palm, then the wrist, then the palm again, then each individual fingertip, then the palm one more time. She sighed contentedly, brought it up to cup her cheek, where she held with a tenderness matched only by the look she gave Reimu.
Reimu, for her part, found herself at a brief loss for words. Never before had Zanmu given her such a look. Never before had someone looked at her with a face so soft, so tender, so...
So lovestruck.
It floored her.
That it came from Zanmu Nippaku floored her all the more.
She wanted to pull away out of embarrassment, but she also wanted to dive back in and kiss that beautiful face some more. She wanted to break the silence, but she also wanted to bask in it.
“Geez,” she eventually said, “just how much have you been holding back?"
“Far too much for far too long.” Zanmu’s reply, spoken in such a gentle voice, made Reimu’s heart soar. “Thank you, Reimu. I can't tell you how relieving it is to cut loose like this.”
“W-Wow, really?” Reimu mentally winced at the lame response that came tumbling out of her mouth. She thought of something better to say. More embarrassing in a way, but as long as Zanmu was being so earnest, it was only fair to respond in kind. “Same here. But, um, well... You know.”
Zanmu chuckled softly.
“So, anyway...” Reimu’s free hand went to fidget with her hair tube again. “Are you satisfied now?”
Being honest with herself, Reimu still wanted more. She felt like she could spend the whole day like this. Just them kissing each other, holding each other close, savoring their precious little time together before they went their separate ways.
But she didn’t want to force herself on Zanmu, and they could always do this again another time and didn’t want to overindulge now, except she did want to overindulge now and maybe even talk Zanmu into staying the night so they could overindulge tomorrow too except—
“Reimu.”
Snapped out of her thoughts, Reimu realized Zanmu was looking at her with a rather intent gaze. “What?” she stammered.
Zanmu looked away, licked her lips, turned back with a familiar look of intent.
“Is tongue out of the question?”