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English
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Published:
2024-12-21
Completed:
2025-05-08
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1,905
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4/4
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Am I The Asshole

Summary:

Jaskier, Yennefer and Geralt all discover Reddit independently from each other. They will complain about one another. There will be four chapters. The first three will be the different posts (plus me answering in character to the comments). The last one will be influenced by YOUR comments!

Notes:

This first post is from Jaskier. Let him know what you think in the comments Reddit style!

Chapter 1: AITA for spending the night away from my lovers after a fight

Chapter Text

AITA for spending the night away from my lovers after a fight

u/adorable_lutenist138z32

 

Hello lovely community,

I know the title seems bad, but hear me out. It’s absolutely not my fault, they drove me to do it. 

Let me set the scene for you. It was a lovely Wednesday and I [M42] was composing a new song for the upcoming Belleteyn festival, when out of nowhere my husband G [M75] starts yelling at me to shut up and how I can’t ever be silent and how I’m grating on his nerves. For context, I am a bard, playing the lute is my bread and butter. And usually he doesn’t mind it.

I think you’ll need a bit of backstory here. We met when I was quite a lot younger and I fell for his rugged looks immediately. I was just starting out as a bard back then, no one really wanted to give me a chance, but he did. We traveled a lot, which is when we met our now wife Y [F117, but don’t ask her about it, at heart she’s still 35]. She and I didn’t get along at all at first, but we’re as thick as thieves nowadays. Well most of the time, she’s still a bit of a bitch, but I love her for it.

Well. That brings me back to that fateful day. So me singing and playing the lute has been an instrumental part of our relationship and I didn’t get why he was yelling at me. He said some truly terrible things. Like how I was ruining his relationship to Y and should just get lost. I will quote him here:

‘Damn it J! Why is it, whenever I find myself in a pile of shit these days, it’s you shovelling it.’ Then he nearly punched a hole in the wall.

That alone would have been hurtful. But this phrase has a history. He said it back when he was broken up with by Y the first time. He proceeded to take it out on me. Turns out he just had a bad day, which I can understand, but it was because of Y, again. She took his horse without permission and he decided to let his frustration out on me. And I’m just so sick of it. Whenever the two of them have issues I have to act as a buffer or get to be the one who gets yelled at.

So, of course, when I found out, I told G that I’m not okay with being the scapegoat all the time. Also told the same to Y. Both were sooo dismissive of it. Like Y told me to suck it up and that it’s not her job to make sure G doesn’t do this or that and yeah! It isn’t, but this relationship between all three of us. It’s not like they ever properly talk to each other. How often am I to be the messenger bird, because they’re pissed at each other. I don’t know. Maybe it’s my own fault, but I wish just this once I didn’t have to be the mediator. 

I could have sorted it out, but in a fit of anger I went out to a local tavern. I wanted to make sure that I didn’t make things worse. There I met a gorgeous young lady. She listened to my woes and we talked for a long long time. Finally I had someone who listened, but also if I’m already such a shitty lover, then I should at least do something about it. She offered me a short night of fun and I went with it. And let’s be honest, they did the same to me back in the day, so really it was to be expected to happen one day.

The next morning I wake up with her gone and Y yelling at me for being a cheating cunt, while G stood there frowning and disappointed. Am I the asshole?

Chapter 2: Am I The Asshole for borrowing my husband's horse

Summary:

Annnnnd Yen's POV! Remember to let her know what you think! I'll get on answering the comments ASAP.

Love yall

Chapter Text

AITA for borrowing my husband’s horse

u/baddest_witch_in_town

 

To the AITA community,

A friend has recommended to me that I need some outside advice on a situation that happened between me and my husbands. My husband G [M75] has a horse and today I needed to get to town fast. I decided to borrow his horse to make sure I get there on time - they don’t appreciate mages coming out of nowhere, here. Plus my other husband J [M42] didn’t hire the ferrier on time. I couldn’t take my own horse, because she dropped a shoe. Which is also J’s fault, he went out on a ride with her as the last one, to get to a tavern the next village over to play one of his new songs.

When I came back he didn’t even talk to me, all huffy and stuff, which makes no sense, I have borrowed her before and he didn’t have a problem with it. Additionally, I saw that he got a letter from a mutual friend T. We have fought about it before, as he and her had a fling together, that he stops having contact with her. Obviously he hasn’t. J decided to take this time to pick a fight with me. How I should communicate better with G and how he has to stand between the lines all the time. No one is making him do that. I got mad at him and he simply vanished with his tail between his legs. 

The next morning I find his cheating self in bed with some busty blonde. I yelled and cursed at him. He yelled back that he’s not the only cheater in our household and how me and G used to go behind his back a lot years ago, but that’s something we’ve resolved long ago. It’s just childish of him to bring it up again to justify himself. So am I the asshole?

Chapter 3: AITA for staying in contact with an old friend

Summary:

Now it's time for Geralt's post. I'll get to the comments as soon as I can!

Chapter Text

AITA for staying in contact with an old friend

u/Geralt_of_Rivia

 

I was told by my brother to post my stuff here to stop bothering him about it. I am still in contact with an old friend, Triss, despite the fact that my wife Yennefer doesn’t like it. It caused a conflict again and because of some other things I yelled at my husband Jaskier. Am I The Asshole?

Edit: I was asked to clarify by my brother so you can help me better. Jaskier just got on my nerves because he kept singing and playing his lute, despite the fact that my wife took my horse without asking and me asking him for some peace and quiet. My wife when she came back found a letter from an old friend of ours, and got angry. Like yes, she and I had a fling, but that was when we technically weren’t together. Then we found our husband cheating on us.

Chapter 4: Lambert

Notes:

Lambert is here to see what your comments influenced to happen!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Checking his phone one last time, Lambert couldn’t keep his shit-eating grin off his face. He had a new contract, even if it was thanks to Yennefer, and got to stay in their fancy mansion in Toussaint. He was lucky she hadn’t found out his username or she’d know that he knew. Marital problems were amazing, as long as they weren’t his own.

He was on his third mug of beer, much to Yennefer’s distaste, when the door slammed open and Jaskier stormed in. Yennefer and Geralt had been giving each other the cold shoulder all evening after their most recent fight.

Jaskier was positively fuming, when he stepped in. His usually styled hair in disarray.

“Finally back from your new mistress?”, Yennefer snarked. “Or just done airing our dirty laundry to anyone who would listen?”

At the last point, Geralt seemed to perk up; he frowned at Jaskier. This was bound to be good. Lambert had read all their posts, including the comments. It was as if entertainment brought itself today.

“First of all. No, I wasn’t and it was you who threw me out after you disrupted my lovely morning.” Jaskier had his arms crossed.

Lambert reached for his mug, to stifle his chuckling.

“You put your dick in the first person who came around! Like a common whore!” Yennefer exclaimed.

“I did end up talking to some people and I believe we need to talk. All of us.” With a stern glance to Geralt, Jaskier sat down.

Geralt just gave a grunt, while his frown deepened.

“That’s exactly what I mean! Reply for once, you old bastard.”

“Well, he ain’t wrong,” Lambert threw in. Just for fun.

Three pairs of furious eyes met his and a chorus of ‘Shut up, Lambert!’

“Why is he even here?” Jaskier complained.

“That’s beside the point. You wanted to talk. Talk.” Geralt finally stepped up to say something.

“I talked to some people about our issues. And it seems like our main problem is communication. So, I’ll begin. I am tired. So fucking tired of being caught in the middle of your conflicts. No matter what happens, I am the butt of the joke and I am tired.”

“That’s not true-”, Geralt started.

“Oh. Isn’t it? Who do you continuously scream at when Yen does something you don’t like? Me. Who is always ‘shoveling shit’ as you put it so lovingly on the mountain? ME.”

“Jask, you know I didn’t mean it then…”

“You still did it! And continue to do it. And you Yennefer. You with your mightier than thou attitude. You don’t even admit mistakes when they’re glaring you in the face.”

“I did nothing wrong. However you spread your legs for everyone, just hoping for a quick fuck,” Yennefer drawled, “where’s your loyalty to us?”

“Loyalty?! I have done everything for you. Why can’t you say ‘I’m sorry’ just once? For fuck’s sake, why do I have to defend myself, when I haven’t slept with anyone but you two until three days ago? How am I the whore?!”

Lambert leant back it was about to get interesting.

“From day one it was you using me. For your entertainment. For your enjoyment. Hell you used me to get back at each other. I feel like you never liked me for me. So this is it. I hope you all enjoy your toxic relationship without me. You won’t ever see me again.” Jaskier’s eyes shone with unshed tears. With a huff he shook his head and turned.

“Jaskier, come on, don’t be dramatic. Of course we… like you.” Lambert raised his eyebrows at Yennefer as she tried to dissolve the situation.

“Dramatic?! You can’t even say you love me in a moment like this!”

Geralt grunted. “Of course we love you.”

“Well. It’s too little and too late. I’m leaving.” Jaskier stormed out the way he stormed in, in a whirlwind of motion.

The silence was deafening. Even Lambert cringed inwardly at the awkwardness.

“This is your fault!”, Yennefer turned on Geralt, whose frown had gotten even stormier.

“How can it be my fault? If the two of you didn’t have your constant catfights none of this would have happened.”

Yennefer shook her head in disbelief. “He can talk! Gods. Fuck you and fuck this. I want you out. Both of you!” With that she shot a glare at Lambert, who in typical ‘who me?’ demeanor turned to Geralt.

“Don’t say it.”

“For once I won’t, but damn, brother, at least follow him. Try and fix this.”

Notes:

And yes I am leaving it somewhat open to what happens after the breakup, but be assured there will be songs about it by yours truly Jaskier.