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Jimin doesn’t understand anything. Not the way he’s being left alone too often. Not the way the people around him fuss about with sharp pointy needles. And especially not the way his lover hasn’t come visit him these past few months.
Jimin’s been here for about 4 months, according to one of the nurses, and Jimin’s starting to get sick of the whiteness surrounding him. The walls are white, the floors are white, the bedsheets are white, his clothing’s are white, and it’s only a matter of time till he turns pale, like one of the nurses here with the nametag Yoongi. But he doesn’t complain all that much because he’s warm in here, they’ve wrapped him in long sleeves – too long – but again he doesn’t complain because the red lines decorating his arms scared him enough.
And for all the time he’s been here, Jimin can’t exactly recall how he got here, or what he is doing here. The nurses won’t tell him anything, just the fact that they’re here to help him – whatever that means – and each passing day Jimin’s starting to get anxious because it’s been months since he’s last seen his lover.
Jeon Jungkook. His other half. His soulmate.
He asks everyone around him, the nurses and the ones who look like friends – strangers maybe – and they don’t answer him which infuriates Jimin to no end. Jimin recognizes some of the faces that comes by, Kim Taehyun for instance, comes by every day, if not every weekend and tells him stories. Memories, he says as he looks at Jimin with pained eyes Jimin’s not sure how it got there.
And for the past 2 months he’s been having dreams without endings – nightmares – leaving him strangled in the morning light. He tells Taehyung about the dreams – nightmares – which leaves him sweating and thrashing on his bed, his blankets on the floor and his pillow dangling dangerously at the edge of his bed.
Jimin tells Taehyung that in the dream he’s drowning but Jungkook’s also drowning with him. Everything around him is void of color and it’s dark dark dark everywhere and he feels like suffocating but Jungkook’s right in front of him. Jimin reaches out for him but he’s being pulled back to the surface and the gasping of air hurts him more than the lack of oxygen a few minutes ago. It’s the same dream – nightmare – every damn time and Jimin’s tired of seeing it. Taehyung just looks at him with something unreadable but Jimin sees the unspoken answer swimming behind his eyes.
Taehyung comes again telling him stories – memories – of his life before he arrived here, and he tells Jimin about the story of two boys drowning. A sad story where the other boy couldn’t be saved and Jimin internally recoils because it’s exactly like his dream and why would Taehyung tell him his own dream? He demands an explanation because he’s had enough of the unspoken answers swimming behind Taehyung’s eyes and finally, finally, when he gets his answer in the form of his lover, his Jungkook being dead, he thrashes wildly on the bed, kicking and throwing everything around him because this feels like a memory, not just a dream.
The nurses come and sedates him with something drowsy that makes him feel sleepy. Taehyung watches him through the process and once it’s all over, Taehyung comes and brushes his hair, telling him to sleep and dream a good dream, and promises that everything will be okay soon.
And in that moment Jimin realizes, they’ve – whoever they are – promised that dreams can come true, but forgot to mention that nightmares are dreams too. And he’s nightmare is a living memory he’ll forever be caged in.