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Harry knew he’d be taking on a heavier burden when he accepted Teddy Lupin into his house. He was the boy’s godfather and his only remaining family after Andromeda died shortly after his third birthday. He knew it fucking sucked not having any family. Ginny, his lovely wife of one year, accepted Teddy without so much of a question. The two immediately began to look for a bigger house, one where each of their children could have their own bedroom - they wanted two children + Teddy - so a four-bedroom house. Teddy was five when Harry and Ginny had their firstborn, a son. James grew up as a perfect mix between Harry and Ginny - Harry’s face, but Ginny’s eyes. Teddy turned eight a few weeks before Albus was born and ten just after Lily was born.
Harry loved that his children took to Teddy like their elder brother. They played together and watched films together, a concept which Ginny was unfamiliar with for a few years.
Harry didn’t think that Teddy’s living with them would cause pain.
But it did.
...
Well...
it’s not entirely fair to blame it on him. If it weren’t Teddy who said it, then Albus or Lily probably would’ve done it. It was the burden of the name, unfortunately. Harry was in the garden, drinking his beer slowly, watching as the kids played in or around the paddling pool. It was his birthday, but it was also the summer holidays. While Teddy, James and Albus were back from Hogwarts, Lily was pissed that she had to wait another year - and vocalised her hatred of the muggle school she was at, despite knowing magic existed. Ron and Hermione had come by, too, with their kids. Rose sunbathed in the paddling pool while Hugo studied in the shade, a stark contrast to his parents.
Hermione bumbled inside after Ginny, helping finish off Harry’s 37th birthday cake. Ron was fretting over Rose being a redhead and exposed to the sun, much like Ginny did for Lily - but then it happened. Albus threw the rugby ball to Lily but was intercepted by James, who took the point for him and Teddy. “Nice one, James!” Harry’s ears began to ring slightly. He leaned further up in his chair, eyes locking on the two brunette boys. “Uh?” James jogged over. Teddy clapped his shoulder. “I said, Nice one, James! You deaf or something?"
Harry couldn’t get out of the garden quickly enough. He breezed past his wife and best friend, ignoring the calls from his kids. He could hear Lily’s little feet running to catch up, but his long strides made him faster than she. Ginny shouted his name, but he ignored her. He went into the bathroom and shut the door, pacing in the small space. He tried to calm his breathing, tried to calm his racing mind.
It wasn’t Teddy’s fault: how was he to know? Harry was only fifteen when Sirius had said it to him, a whole two and seven years before either boy was even born. Yet, he couldn’t help the frustrated tears begin to pour. He hated himself, why the fuck was he crying for someone who died over twenty years ago? His breathing began to quicken too quickly. He fisted his hair, pacing quicker and quicker-
“Daddy?"
He paused. “Are you ok?” Lily asked quietly through the door. “Whatever James did, it’s not his fault.” Ah, yes, Lily was devoted to her brothers. She’d take the hit for them, always. Harry swallowed thickly. “Whenever I’m sad, you and mummy give me a special hug, and then I’m ok. Do you want a special hug?” She tapped softly against the wooden door. Harry swallowed his panic and removed the locking charm from the door. He opened it up with a soft sigh. He bent down to a squat. Lily rushed into his chest, squeezing tightly. He loved how empathetic she was, obviously a trait from her grandmothers. “If James hurt you, I’ll hit him,” Harry chuckled softly into her hair. “We mustn’t ever hit, but he didn’t do anything. Nobody did,” Lily pushed until he sat down, holding him tighter. “What made you cry then? You and mummy say it's better to tell someone, and not let it stay inside,"
Harry puffed a breath out slowly. “Teddy just said something that my godfather once said to me… about my father… and it made me sad. That’s all,” Lily glanced up. “Grandad James?” Harry nodded. “Yeah,” He stroked some hair out of her eyes. “My godfather once forgot it was me fighting next to him and said “nice one, James,” and I liked it… but it was also the last thing he ever said… and it made me sad knowing I can’t remember my dad and that my godfather died,” He pulled back slowly. “But it’s ok to feel sad sometimes. I’m just really bad at managing it…. I’ve always been bad at managing it, ask your mother,” He smirked, seeing her legs by the door.
Ginny came around with a birthday hat. “Yeah, your father is awful at managing his emotions,” She gently kicked his knee, frowning slightly. You ok? Harry pulled Lily into his chest again. He nodded slowly. Yeah, I’m fine.
Lily hummed quietly. “Can we get cake now?” Harry laughed loudly. “Sure, but you’ll have to help me up,” He played theatrically as Lily tried to tug him up, ignoring it when she tapped into her magic to assist.
A few days later, when he went by to change his parent's and Sirius's remembrance flowers, as he did every year around his birthday, he noticed a fresh bunch of flowers already there, adorned by a letter.
To Grandad James, Nanny Lily and Grandad Sirius.
My daddy misses you - so I hope you like these flowers my brothers and Teddy and me picked.
See you at Christmas!