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“So flood me like Atlantic, weather me to nothing - Wash away the blood on my hands.”
The manor felt cold, on this particular day. Colder than usual, although not to the point of shivering.
No, it was a gentle cold, like a gentle caress when you're burning up with a fever, a sign of the changing seasons - with autumn having finally arrived. The old cobblestone paths in their gardens were littered with leaves of muted colors, some red, some a dark brown already, little specks of yellow and orange between, as if someone had painted the sunset with nature. But most importantly, it was the season of rain, of gentle winds and quiet thunder in the distance.
Vessel sat by the bay window in the big library they had, a gift bestowed upon them by Sleep after He found out just how much II loved books. The old smell of the worn tomes and papers surrounded him, flooding his senses with nostalgia. Time felt still in here, as if the world stopped moving inside the big room, the gentle rain pattering against the window was like a soft melody in his ears. Almost as if Mother Nature had decided to sing to him and keep him company, yet he found solace in the empty room.
He had tried to make sense of the lyrics in the back of his mind for multiple days now, most likely Sleep communicating to him something They had been fascinated with. Too many nights did he spend restlessly writing and scribbling, writing and scratching out, writing some more and tearing up paper, before he had tossed his worn notebook on the desk in his little studio out of frustration, stormed out of the usually comforting room and beelined to the library, desperate to still his mind. It had brought him peace, as it always did, to sit here, surrounded by books from various ages, some perhaps even older than him, some new, some untouched. If he let his gaze linger in studying the room, he could find little marks left by the others, as they always tended to in their shared spaces. He could make out II's favorite books, neatly stacked on top of each other, standing on the little wooden table near his favorite reading spot. III's hair ties were on the big desk in the middle of the library, alongside some of his pens, most likely when he'd seek the quiet and embrace of the books around him, trying to come up with a specific riff for his bass. And then there were IV's marks, a blanket folded neatly on one of the couches, always feeling the need to be wrapped up in multiple layers. So often had he seen his partners cuddled up together under the blanket, had seen II tie III's hair up with his little hair ties, or II giving the others a summary of his most recently added book to his pile of favorites.
As oxygen lingered in the very air he breathed, Sleep's aura seemed to radiate off of the books as well, it always did with material gifts bestowed upon them by their God. ,,So you may be alone, but shall never be lonely,” Sleep had said once.
Another sigh left Vessel, his shoulders slumping against the cool stone, by now warmed up due to his body heat. His head rested against the windowsill for a while now – hours, perhaps? Somewhere between minutes and hours, if he had to guess. He couldn't feel the cold through his mask, not physically at least, yet he could feel the soothing effect it had on him. The way he could just sit inside, safe and warm, and watch Mother Nature follow her path, guide the water back down to earth, the endless cycle of life continuing without a care for anything or anyone else. It kept moving, steadily, surely, and he aspired to be like that.
He, too, wanted to keep moving, to not be hindered by things like a writer's block, exhaustion, or anything else. Even with the gifts that Sleep had bestowed upon him for his devotion, his eternal Love for Him, he could still not escape parts of his previous humanity, the shell he had shed to become a higher being, worthy of His presence and to spread His message, hold the Rituals for Him. Anything in His name.
A light knock pulled him out of his thoughts and he looked over to see II peeking through the door. He didn't wear his mask today, for they usually didn't when they were inside their manor, unless one of them felt particularly insecure or exposed.
“I hope I'm not disturbing.” II said, his voice quiet and gentle as usual, a soft tone to it upon seeing the state Vessel seemed to be in. Vessel simply shook his head and held a hand out for his partner to take.
So II did, closing the door gently behind him and coming closer to lay his hand with Vessel's, slowly resting against his partner's figure. Even when sitting down, Vessel was still a little taller than II, though it meant he could now comfortably rest his head on II's shoulder instead of the glass pane. Warmth flooded him. II was always so warm, physically and personality-wise.
“III said that you had gone into the library after being locked up in your studio for quite a while now. Is it the lyrics again?” II asked carefully. Vessel's heart clenched painfully at the amount of care and worry lacing II's voice. He moved his head a little, glancing up at his partner, taking a moment to admire how his black hair messily framed his face, some of the strands coming loose from his braid. His free hand reaching up, he gently tucked one of the strands behind the smaller mans' ear, laying his hand on his always-warm cheek and basking in the softening of those sapphire blue eyes, ever the sleepy look on his features.
“As it so often is, whenever Sleep bestows one of His fascinations upon me to form into words, of course. Perhaps a break is in order, I do miss my Lovers so awfully whenever inspiration strikes me and negligence is something I wouldn't wish upon any of you.” he murmured in response, heart thumping at the smile that encased II's lips as soon as he heard the words.
“A bath then, I'd suggest? And afterwards, we could all spend time together in front of the fire. Autumn has cooled the manor; and so has the lack of body heat from you.” II spoke, moving his free hand to Vessel's mask and stopping for a brief second, awaiting his partners' approval.
All of them knew that, sometimes, they felt like hiding, covering up, returning to their masks when one of them had a hard day, so consent was ever-so important when it came to taking their masks off; but II especially still needed a lot of confirmations, of reassurances, ever so slightly hesitant when it came to physical contact or anything close to it.
But how could Vessel ever deny one of his Lovers to see his face? Even in his troubled and exhausted state, he'd never dream of denying them, or worse – worrying them even further. He had made the mistake only once, IV's crestfallen and rejected expression still haunted his nightmares, to this day. So, of course, he nodded, letting II remove his mask and gently lay it down on the table next to the alcove, his small hand now resting on Vessel's cheek, mindful of the additional pairs of eyes, which now glanced up freely at him, each one of them holding so much love and adoration for the smaller man.
Whenever either of them could see Vessel's eyes so freely like this, their color shining like liquid gold and almost glittering when the light hit just right, it made their chests feel so tight, awe and adoration spreading through their veins like their blood still did. He was, truly, Sleep's most beautiful creation, and yet, Vessel would say the same about any of the other Three.
“Shall we?” II asked, waiting patiently for his partner, so of course Vessel followed, keeping the smaller mans' hand in his gentle hold as if he was afraid that too much pressure may break it. He got up from his seat, mindful of the light numbness in his legs from sitting for so long, sending a silent prayer to Mother Nature for keeping him company with Her melodies, and let himself be led out of the library by II, slowing his steps to keep up with his smaller frame.
On their way to the bigger bathroom close to their bedrooms, they passed III and IV, who were cuddled up together in III's big bed, the door open in an unspoken invitation, in case either of their other partners felt like joining them. Vessel gave both a reassuring smile as he passed, earning an enthusiastic wave back from III, and a happy smile from IV, who was resting on top of the lanky man, their limbs entwined as their minds were, always seeking closeness to one another.
Before long, Vessel was sat inside their big bathtub, encompassed by the cool and soothing water, II sitting on a stool right next to him, his hand still resting in Vessel's gentle hold, a small reassurance between them – unspoken, words unnecessary in the Love they shared.
Vessel preferred colder baths, the water reminding him of his previous life in an oddly - and morbidly - comforting way. Another blessing of Sleep, to all of them, had been a resistance to temperatures, going hand in hand with the 'You must not worry about mundane things like sickness or health, for you have shed your human shell, my Beloved'-thing that He had told them.
Being the ever-knowing and unimaginably wise deity that He was, Sleep had known the of the comfort that baths, waters and the ocean, especially colder temperatures, had brought Vessel, and of course He wanted only the best for His vessels, so it had been something small, a gesture He had waved off with his hands once Vessel had gotten on his knees, trying to express his gratitude through silently flowing tears.
It was a fond memory for Vessel. The way Sleep had seen it as something so small, yet it meant so much to him. A way to reconnect with the bits of his previous life he had found solace in, that he had made peace with. If you'd ask him, he couldn't tell you just how grateful he was to be loved in this way by his deity, to be the first chosen, His vessel, His messenger. As miserable and as abruptly as his previous life had ended, he would've given it up in a heartbeat again if it meant to be loved by Sleep like this. He'd do anything for his deity, anything He would ask of him, and he would always see it as his holy duty, whatever it may be.
It was as if II could sense what memory Vessel had gotten caught up in, if the small smile on Vessel's lips was anything to go by, alongside with the softening of all his 6 eyes and the distant look – so he, too, smiled. Gently, overwhelmed by the desire to care for his partner for the rest of his days, for any of them, and to worship his deity, to show his undying loyalty and eternal gratitude in infinite thankfulness for bringing them together, to grant all of them a Love like this.
“Join me?” Vessel's quiet, but soft voice broke II out of his little train of thoughts, and without any further words said, he shed his clothes, exposing the dark, ashen skin that had been part of their transformation, and joined the taller man inside the bathtub, resting his back against Vessel's ever-warm chest – even in the colder waters, a comfortable sigh leaving both of them.
To be able to hold one of his loved ones so close to him, Vessel thought, was truly better than anything in his previous life – anything he could still remember, that was. Though even then, he doubted that he ever had a love so beautiful, so devoted and loyal, than the one shared between the vessels and their deity. Perhaps, this had always been their place, their holy duty waiting to be picked up, waiting until their deity deemed them ready to become their purest forms of existence.