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For perhaps the first time in their life, Ellie Wolf was awake before Lottie Pumpkin. This was no accident, Ellie had set ten alarms to make sure they were up earlier than Lottie.
The eighth alarm went off and Ellie turned it off, already awake, ready to surprise Lottie. They had made Lottie breakfast in bed, a mixture of pancakes, porridge and fresh fruit (no apples), just like the buffets at Rosewood.
It was their first Christmas officially together and Ellie wanted to make it more magical than any Christmas they’d had before (not a hard task to achieve since almost every Christmas before had ended in tears). Today was only Christmas Eve but Ellie had made a million plans to make their girlfriend the happiest girl in the world.
Ellie crept towards the door, trying not to drop the tray of food and spoil the surprise. They gently opened the door, a grin on their face, which slowly faded as they realised Lottie wasn’t asleep, she was crying. Ellie put the tray down and rushed to join Lottie in the bed.
“Hey, little princess,” Ellie whispered, “Why are you crying?”
Lottie looked up at Ellie’s concerned face and started crying harder.
“It’s- it’s… oh, Ellie, it’s so silly. I’m just- scared that I won’t ever feel Christmassy again.” She curled up into Ellie’s arms and buried her face into them. Ellie began to stroke her hair.
“Oh, Lottie. That’s not silly, not at all. We’ve not had much luck with our Christmases have we?”
A small, muffled giggle emerged from Lottie’s mouth and Ellie breathed in the sound like it was as precious and rare as Tchaikovsky playing directly to them.
“No, we haven’t. But Ellie,” Lottie giggled again, “You can’t beat your personal record now- your grandma is dead.”
Ellie burst out into a surprised chuckle and kissed the top of Lottie’s head. They stayed in that position until Lottie began to calm down.
“Wait, Ellie- why were you up so early?”
Ellie picked up the now cold tray of breakfast and smiled.
“I wanted to surprise you, little princess. Merry Christmas Eve.”
Lottie started sobbing again and Ellie began to panic, worried they had said the wrong thing. Christmas had never been a cheerful time for Ellie, there were always rules and procedures disguised as ‘traditions’, which made the day rather more stifling than jolly. But Lottie, Lottie had experienced real Christmas joy. As a girl she had Christmases wrapped up in cinnamon and sea salt kisses, walks by the beach and early morning cuddles with her mum. As time was ticking away, Lottie became aware that she had had more Christmases without her mum than with her. Having felt what Christmas could be, it made the reality so disappointing that Lottie almost couldn’t bear it.
“I’m sorry, Ellie. You clearly planned out a whole day and I’m ruining it by being all miserable.”
“Fuck the plans,” Ellie said, “You can cry for as long as you need to. And when you’re done crying we’ll eat some food and watch a film. How does that sound?”
There was small affirmative squeak amongst the gentle crying and the sobs began to turn into sniffles, and then Lottie’s breathing began to slow down, back to normal.
“How do you always know what to say?”
“Because I know you, my little princess. I love you.”
“I love you too, my prince. Merry Christmas.”