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A chill hung heavy in the air.
Snuggling in tighter beneath the gently used comforter (the one he had been lucky enough to find at the secondhand store), Xie Lian peeled one eye open as he cocked his head toward the back window of his van. His home. Sure, it was a work in progress, but Xie Lian felt no small amount of pride in how he managed to save up to both buy and make a few modifications to the vehicle.
This was far better than the dumpster he used to live behind. And the tent after that. Luck wasn’t necessarily looking up for him, but he was scrounging up every bit of effort to claw his way out of the darkness despite that.
Plus, it was Christmas.
He had so many plans for today. First things first: he had to actually come out from his cocoon, which he was more than a little reluctant to do. The temptation to slip in a little more sleep felt tantalizing, but if he was going to go to the soup kitchen, dig through his usual dumpsters, check on Ban Yue, and everything else he had planned today (though not necessarily in that order), Xie Lian knew he needed to get up
A pout formed on his face as a little sigh escaped. He could see the slightest bit of light peeking through the makeshift insulation (and visual blockers) he had cobbled together for his van. Nobody could see in the van thanks to the tarp he placed carefully over the windshield on the outside to protect the glass from the weather along with the sheets he pincushioned over every window as sight blockers. The insulation came in the form of the extra layers over those sheets, held up by colorful pushpins.. Eventually, he hoped he would be able to make the place much warmer, but it wasn’t so bad.
Extricating himself from his cocoon of blankets was always the hardest part. He counted to three and then flung himself out, rapidly pulling on his extra layers and coat, before he began to pat down and finger brush his hair. He’d do a better job at the homeless shelter when he dropped his friends off. Settling his cream and tan knitted hat down atop his head, Xie Lian felt better insulated once again. It allowed him to find beauty and joy in the sight of his misting breath instead of the trepidation of possibly freezing to death in his sleep.
He removed the pushpins, folded up the sheets, and tucked everything neatly into their assigned spaces. The shelving and storage in his van wasn’t much, but he’d worked meticulously to ensure every single item he owned had its own home. The sheet, his blanket, and the deflated pillow he scrounged for were all stored in a tote he rescued from the trash, for example.
With his home tidy, Xie Lian slipped into the driver’s seat as he retrieved his keys from the pocket of his hand-me-down coat to turn on the ignition. The engine roared to life, like some sort of primordial beast — loud and in an alarming cadence of snarls and stutters — but for Xie Lian, that simply meant the van still started. That was great news!
Next, he adjusted the heater, the rearview mirror, and peered in the side mirrors — only to freeze. There was something near the back of his van. Something that hadn’t been there the night before when he’d parked and settled in for the night. Odd.
Curiosity won out quickly as Xie Lian climbed out of the driver’s seat. His feet touched pavement and led him around his home on wheels to the back of the van where a large gift bag sat. It was red and stuffed with sparkly tissue paper — a proper gift. Xie Lian looked around, wondering who would leave something like this, and whether they had made a mistake.
Who was he kidding? Of course they had made a mistake! Nobody would leave him a gift like this.
But this particular parking spot, though coveted given it was behind Ghost City Bazaar (a location known for throwing away the most interesting things, including plenty of food at the end of the day), was often empty. Xie Lian never did understand why none of his homeless friends ever listened to his advice about this spot. He was all too happy to share. Still, time after time, he showed up to nobody loitering around but him. Nobody had made a fuss, or said so much as a word about where he parked his van, or the dumpster diving that came with it.
Did that mean someone who had seen him around left a gift for him?
Unable to stifle his interest, Xie Lian peeled back the tissue paper (already excited to keep it, certain he could find a use) and was shocked to see a thick, fleece-lined beige blanket. He pulled it out of the bag, marveling at the beautiful white ribbon securing it in its fold, to brush the material against his cheek. He practically whined at the softness.
But that wasn’t all that was in the bag. Settled at the bottom was a brown paper sack and another rolled up fluffy wool thing his fingers itched to touch. As much as Xie Lian was tempted to stand here and continue to rummage through the rest of the gift, the cold bite was starting to seep into his bones. He carefully placed the blanket back into the gift bag and carried it back to the warmth of his van, making quick work of removing the tarp from the outside of his front windshield with renewed motivation. Only once the entirety of his morning routine was finished and he was in the safety of the cab, did Xie Lian poke through the bright red bag again.
He found a dozen mantou nestled within the paper sack, and his eyes lit up. Giving an experimental sniff, he caught a whiff of herb and perhaps spiced meat. Some of them were stuffed! Xie Lian’s mouth watered automatically as he thought about how long it had been since he’d had mantou.
But despite the urge and accompanying stomach gurgle, he didn’t dig in. Instead, he made sure the bag was folded over properly before setting it on the passenger seat. Lastly, he pulled out the woolen bundle, which turned out to be a hand-stitched snood. His fingers dug into the plush yarn, feeling the exquisite texture, and internally oohing and ahhing at the beautiful craftsmanship. He’d never seen anything that looked as warm as it did.
With every item pulled out, he took another look at the gift bag but came up empty. There was no tag. Nothing had a receipt. He could find no sign of who had left these beautiful, warm, and tasty treasures. That just felt wrong.
Peering back at the bazaar, Xie Lian knew it had to be someone from nearby. He wondered if whoever his mysterious benefactor was had been waiting on some sign that he was waking up to leave the gift for him. But that seemed a little absurd. He wasn’t worth all of that effort.
Still, he searched for any sign of movement, or anyone nearby waiting for his reaction, but he was met with nothing.
A pout pulled at his lips as he looked in the passenger seat at the wonderful gifts. Gifts he didn’t deserve but had been left anyway. He couldn’t help but feel touched in a way he hadn’t in a long time. Some people out there were still good, and the thought warmed him just as much as the heater in the front seat of his beat up old Volkswagen van.
It was definitely a wonderfully surprising start to what was going to be a very Merry Christmas.
—
“Oh no.” Ban Yue held her hands up, as if warding off the gift. “I couldn’t possibly take it.”
Xie Lian smiled patiently at his young friend. “But I insist.”
“It was a gift for you…” she continued to protest. “I can’t take your Christmas gift.”
Xie Lian noted the way Pei Xiu watched his girlfriend. He was worried. Her thin, frail frame held little to no fat. That meant she had very little insulation. Xie Lian could only imagine how difficult the winter was at times.
She’d already been sick a few times since fall ended. Pei Xiu and Xie Lian both didn’t want to see her suffer anymore. The other teen had been doing everything in his power to provide and help her at every corner. She was lucky in that respect, but she needed more.
The knowledge that he could make a difference wasn’t lost on Xie Lian.
He struggled with the drop in temperature, too. He knew intimately how difficult it could be, but he had the added benefit of a car to keep him safe and warm. His young friends didn’t have such luxuries. As far as he was concerned, they needed both the scarf and blanket more than him. And he knew they would both treasure it as it kept them warmer than they had been in some time. They just didn’t know that they stood no chance at winning this argument.
“I insist,” Xie Lian stated firmly. “It’s mine to do with what I please. And now it’s my gift to you. The two of you have always had my back. Now, let me repay you with my good fortune.”
“He doesn’t sound like he’s going to take no for an answer,” Pei Xiu ventured, looking down at the petite young woman.
Ban Yue chewed her bottom lip, deep in thought as she held the red bag. Her hand slipped inside to feel the wool of the snood. Her eyes lit up at the soft texture of the yarn. “I suppose not…”
“Exactly! I always get my way one way or the other,” Xie Lian chirped, holding up his paper bag. “Mantou?”
Pei Xiu looked hungrily at the bag, but Ban Yue immediately shook her head. “You’ve already been generous enough!”
“Nonsense!”
The paper bag crinkled as Xie Lian pulled it open and practically shoved it into both teens’ faces. Pei Xiu barely managed the facade before he plucked out a bun, whereas Ban Yue took multiple prompts in the form of a shake of the bag before she chose one. They both took a savoring bite of their respective buns, and Xie Lian felt a warmth in his chest at the sight of both of them enjoying a treat he loved so much himself.
“They’re good, right?” Xie Lian asked.
Both teens were only able to nod given they were busy devouring their food.
“Thank you,” Pei Xiu managed after a moment, an earnest warmth in his eyes as he bowed his head in respect.
Ban Yue did the same before Xie Lian ushered the both of them into the van. They had plans for the day, after all. Xie Lian couldn’t let them get totally distracted by thanking him for something that, honestly, he had no business taking credit for.
Yet again, he wished he knew who to give the credit to. Perhaps the gifts were supposed to be for him, but the ability to pass his good fortune along by feeding and ensuring the warmth and safety of people he cared so much about was far more fulfilling than snuggling beneath the blanket himself. Not even the vision of wrapping the wool around his head and neck to keep out the chill in the air surpassed this feeling.
He could withstand the elements — but this meant that they didn’t have to. He felt grateful to whoever his anonymous gifter was. Honestly, the more he contemplated the person’s identity, the more he figured it must be someone from the Ghost City Bazaar — an employee or frequent flier — who wanted to do something nice for someone on Christmas. Mission accomplished.
He would have to keep an eye out, see if he could suss out the identity of the kind soul. Maybe if he figured it out, he’d be able to find a way to thank them properly. He wanted to let that person know how appreciated and wonderful the gifts were.
“And you really have no idea who left these gifts?” Pei Xiu spoke from the back seat of his van as Xie Lian clicked his seatbelt into place.
“None!” he replied brightly. “Probably just someone with a kind heart.”
“What will you do if they come and ask you how you like your gifts?” Ban Yue posed quietly, even as she snuggled into the knitted warmth.
“I’ll thank them for their gifts, of course! They’re going to such good use!” Xie Lian answered without hesitation.
“Are you going to park there again tonight?” Ban Yu wondered out loud, fingers brushing the wool.
“Nobody has asked me to leave yet, so I think so unless I get held up, and it gets too dark for Rouye’s headlights to lead the way.” Xie Lian patted his van’s dashboard adoringly with a silent prayer for his old girl not to give up on him yet. “Outside of that, I don’t see why I wouldn’t go back. I don’t get why nobody else parks there, honestly.”
The van pulled out onto the road under Xie Lian’s guidance as the teenagers shot one another looks.
“I’ve heard that nobody is allowed to park there,” Pei Xiu announced, voice full of authority.
“Well, if that were true, don’t you think I’d have been chased off by now?” Xie Lian laughed, reaching over to adjust the heat. “I think someone probably thought it was a good spot and scared everyone else off.”
“Maybe so,” the teenage boy said, but he didn’t sound convinced.
Xie Lian wasn’t trying to convince him, though. He knew what he thought whether the teens agreed or not. Maybe one day he’d get through to the others — Shi Qingxuan, in particular — that they could park there without any issues. He’d just have to keep trying.
Anything to make life easier for them all.
—
After some successful dumpsters diving, Xie Lian and his companions went to the Mission to gift the recyclables to the usual crew of elderly individuals who weren’t quite able to get in and out of the trash receptacles like they used to. They’d be able to get a little bit of money out of the bottles and odd and ends. As per usual, Xie Lian kept any treasures he thought he could fix up for himself.
As did Ban Yue. (After all, she had learned it from him. Sometimes they could make a fair bit of money taking something broken and discarded and fixing it or repurposing it.)
Only after they had showered and cleaned up did the trio make their way to the soup kitchen. As was his habit, Xie Lian made his way behind the buffet so he could help serve everyone else before he sat down with his own plate. The other volunteers had learned the lesson not to allow him to make any attempts at cooking long ago.
Warm, good food with enjoyable company was exactly what a blustery cold Christmas day called for. Xie Lian sat down with the teenagers and Shi Qingxuan, whose cheeks were still pink from hobbling in out of the cold. He savored a sip from the hot and filling soup, sending out a little prayer of thanks to whoever might be listening. Laughter filled their table as their latecomer regaled them with anecdotes of what happened to them throughout the day.
(Complete with plenty of playful facial expressions and guffaws about their misfortune turned apparent luck. The people who had been bothering them in their usual parking spot had suddenly stopped. The question as to whether or not it was caused by the green pore-cleansing face mask they’d found in the dumpster the night before — barely expired, mind you — tickled them to the point of uncontrollable giggles.
Xie Lian wasn’t so sure it had been the mask. His mind went to the shadow he and a few others had noted following Shi Qingxuan around on occasion. The terrifying incident when Shi Qingxuan had been jumped came to mind — they’d come back to consciousness and found the assailers on the ground. Pei Xiu and Ban Yue had both mentioned seeing Shi Qingxuan’s savior, but it seemed whoever was looking out for their friend clearly meant to do so without gaining anything in return. As strange as it was, Shi Qingxuan’s shadow protector had done nothing but help so far, and as long as people weren’t messing with Xie Lian’s friend anymore, that was all that really mattered.
Plus, it kept assholes from ruining Shi Qingxuan’s good mood and Christmas.
The amputee already struggled with staying in good spirits when dealing with the chronic pain flare ups brought on by the cold weather. Xie Lian made a mental note to keep an eye out for more blankets, maybe even an old hot water bottle — whatever he could find to help them out.
Maybe he’d get lucky again?)
After finishing their Christmas dinner, helping clean up, and parting ways with the teenagers, Xie Lian and Shi Qingxuan headed out to their respective vehicles.
A man in a long, red coat retreated from his van. His crimson trench billowed behind him as his strides led him around the corner and out of the parking lot. Xie Lian’s gaze flickered from the spot where he disappeared to Ruoye, his eyes catching sight of a red envelope sticking out from underneath the windshield wipers. Could the man in red be the mystery gifter?
Why would that person be here as well as by the Bazaar?
“Xie Lian, do you know that person?” Shi Qingxuan asked, squinting after the figure.
“I dunno — I’ll be right back!”
That was the only warning his friend got before Xie Lian took off. He bypassed his van as he rounded the corner of the brick building, ready to confront (and thank) the secretive Santa. Only — nobody was there. Not a red coat in sight. There was nobody walking down the sidewalk, or toward the cross street, or in the alley.
Xie Lian rushed further down the street to the intersection, his head swiveling both ways, only for disappointment to sink into his gut when he still saw no sign of the red coat. Only cars. A silver Kia. A beige Buick. A black Dodge Ram. Nothing that seemed particularly out of the ordinary.
Standing there, he watched as the Dodge pulled out of its parking spot. He tried to curiously peer into the windows, but the dark tint kept the driver a mystery as it turned onto the road, flipped on its blinker, and turned in the direction that would take the driver away from this part of town. Xie Lian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry for the second — or was it third? — time this Christmas.
He’d been so sure he would be able to catch him, but the mystery gifter was long gone. Xie Lian sighed quietly to himself as he turned around and retraced his steps all the way back to his van. Shi Qingxuan leaned against the dirty door as they waited, red envelope in hand. They were clearly dying to see what was inside.
“I didn’t want it to blow away or for anyone to grab it so I just… you know — and I waited,” they explained sheepishly.
Xie Lian smiled. “Guess we better see, then?”
“Yes!” they nodded eagerly. “But does that mean you didn’t catch the man in red?”
“I was too slow.”
Xie Lian slipped his finger beneath the corner of the envelope and ripped the seal apart until the flap was free. Within was a beautiful homemade Christmas card that had red and white flowers intermixed with holly in a mural over the front fold. Xie Lian admired the artistry, tracing over the glitter and feeling tickled when some of it rubbed up on the pads of his fingertips. He opened the card, and Xie Lian gasped.
Giftcards!
There were two — one for gas and the other was a Visa that could be used anywhere of the wielder’s choosing. Xie Lian simply stared at the two little rectangles of plastic before Shi Qingxuan snatched them both from his hand. He blinked over at them.
“You have to check how much is on them!” they announced.
Shi Qingxuan turned the first card around, and their gasp was so loud, it garnered them a few looks.
“What?”
“Xie. Lian.” his friend clipped out. “This gas card is for $50!”
“What?!” Xie Lian breathed, shocked, as he turned to look back in the direction he had seen the man in red disappear. “That’s too much!”
“But it’ll keep your gas tank full for so long! You’ll be able to do more!” Shi Qingxuan argued. Their eyes shifted to the other card, and they whistled. “Another $50! You’re so lucky! This is going to help you out so much. I’m so happy for you!”
Shi Qingxuan deposited both of the giftcards back from whence they came, safely snuggled back into the handmade card. Xie Lian opened the card back up, barely thinking before he plucked up the gas card and offered it to his nonbinary friend. “Here — Merry Christmas!”
Wide eyes blinked in disbelief. “No, I can’t!”
“Why not?” Xie Lian asked, still holding the card out for them to take.
“Because!” they started.
Xie Lian laughed. “Because isn’t an answer, Qingxuan.”
“It’s yours! That’s your Christmas gift. I wouldn’t want to take it from you. Plus, you need the gas too!” they finally answered.
Xie Lian grabbed their hand, placing the card down in their palm before closing fingers (complete with slightly chipped red and green painted nails) over it. “And I want you to have it. You need to keep warm, or you’re going to be in pain. I’ll be fine.”
“But—!”
“No buts! Don’t worry about me. I got two of them, remember?” Xie Lian pointed out.
For several moments, Shi Qingxuan looked torn between keeping the card or shoving it back at Xie Lian — and he was already preparing for that argument. But then they gave a soft sigh and held the card close to their chest. Xie Lian could see the unshed tears pooling in their eyes.
“You’re sure?”
“Positive,” Xie Lian answered before throwing his arms around his friend in a hug, which they returned immediately.
“Oh my god! This is a Merry Christmas!” Watery laughter bubbled up as they pulled back, and Shi Qingxuan wiped tears away with their scarf. “Thank the gods for your mystery gifter, huh?”
Xie Lian forced a small smile. “Yeah…”
He was thankful, but he wanted — more than anything — to find out the identity of this person. Who was the man who kept leaving him gifts? They were too much, worth too much, and Xie Lian could only imagine the effort that all of this took.
There was also the why of it all, but he found himself not hanging up there so much as simply wanting to see and speak with the person. How he’d manage that, he had no clue, but he was certainly going to try. He would just have to keep an eye out.
Then again, with the sun starting to set along the horizon, maybe he wouldn’t get the chance. With night rapidly approaching, Christmas was coming to an end. Tomorrow would be a new day, but it would also be the start of leaving the season of giving and goodwill behind.
He could only hope his luck would strike once more before midnight.
—
Xie Lian waved to Shi Qingxuan as they hobbled out of the convenience store, off to go park for the evening. He watched as the green vehicle pulled out of the parking lot, now full of gas. It put a smile on Xie Lian’s face that he continued to wear as he paid for his own, putting a small dent in the remaining Visa, before he moved to head out himself.
The bell jingled on the door as Xie Lian moved to tuck the card into his pocket — stopping in his tracks at the sound of a familiar voice.
“Shit, Qing, where the hell did I fucking put it?”
“You’re asking me?” a second familiar voice hissed in answer. “How the hell am I supposed to know? Maybe you lost it?”
Feng Xin and Mu Qing.
Two names, belonging to two people, Xie Lian had thought he would never see (or hear) again. Brow furrowing, Xie Lian couldn’t help but duck behind Rouye, realizing the duo were on the other side at the pump Shi Qingxuan had just vacated.
“I thought I fucking had it,” Feng Xin huffed out, like he was making a concerted effort to keep his voice down.
“You probably left it at your parents’ house,” Mu Qing grumbled.
Feng Xin let out something that sounded half like a groan and half like a growl. “Well, we’re not fucking going back there for it!”
“No shit! We don’t have enough gas to make it,” Mu Qing said.
“Goddamnit, Qing—!”
A cry interrupted the duo. A small cry. That of a baby. Xie Lian’s eyes widened as he listened to the sound of distress.
“Look what you did now, dumbass,” Mu Qing complained, but his voice lost some of its earlier bite.
Xie Lian peeked around the pump, watching as Mu Qing opened the back door of a jeep. He looked just as Xie Lian remembered. Tall, sharply-dressed, with long beautiful hair, but he moved differently. Despite the stress in his voice, he carried himself lighter as he leaned over to deal with a little someone in the back.
“Shit, babe, I’m sorry,” Feng Xin said, his voice returning to its lower volume. “I didn’t fucking mean to.”
Babe?
“You’re just lucky you didn’t wake both of them up!” Mu Qing hissed out one side of his mouth. Then his voice changed into something softer, sweeter as he spoke to someone else, “I know, it’s okay. Diedie is loud. And it’s been a long day — it’s fine, you’re fine.”
Diedie?
“Maybe I can get my Ba to bring—”
“Oh, please,” Mu Qing scoffed. “Unless you tell them you’re leaving me, and they’re picking you and the twins up, do you really think they’re going to help?”
Twins? Twin babies? What the hell had he missed since he’d last seen his friends?
“Yeah, I know, but I don’t have my goddamn wallet, Qing. How the fuck are we supposed to get home?” Feng Xin groused, stress lacing his voice.
Mu Qing whipped around. Xie Lian sucked in a sharp breath as he ducked back behind his van, his heart hammering in his chest. He held his breath, uncertain if he’d been seen.
“I think I have five in my pocket,” Mu Qing said, his heels clicking as he walked across the pavement. “Maybe that’ll get us back, and you can run in.”
“Yeah, maybe that’ll fucking work…”
Xie Lian didn’t know what the situation was, not really. But as someone who often had to count the miles in relation to what was in his gas tank… and presuming that Feng Xin’s parents lived around the same areas as they had before… there was no way five dollars was going to get them where they needed to go. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Xie Lian contemplated what he should do as his hand brushed the gift card.
He didn’t even have to think about it. Even if it had been fifty years since he’d seen his former friends, he’d help them if he knew they were in need. Now was no different. Still, he had to take a steadying breath as he plucked the giftcard from his pocket.
Plastering on a smile, he rounded the gas pump.
“Feng Xin?” he spoke tentatively, trying to get his attention while Mu Qing pulled a bill from his pocket.
“What the fuck?!” his former best friend barked out. “Xie Lian?!”
“...Xie Lian?” Mu Qing echoed, his face ashen and shocked.
“Hi!” Xie Lian forced out a chuckle. “I couldn’t help but overhear that the two of you are worried about gas—”
“Yeah, well, Feng Xin doesn’t have an indoor voice.” Mu Qing rolled his eyes.
“You’re not going to get very far on five — here.” Xie Lian edged closer to Feng Xin and offered him the giftcard. “I don’t know if they still live in the same place, but—”
“They do,” Feng Xin croaked out. “My parents. They… uh… they fucking do.”
“Then you definitely need that,” Xie Lian said, backing up a step. “Merry Christmas!”
“Wait!” Mu Qing snapped, rounding the back of the jeep. “Where the hell have you been?”
“I was in the convenience store.” Xie Lian pointed to the little building.
Both of his former friends shared a look before Feng Xin bit out, “You know that’s not what he meant. We haven’t seen you in… goddamn… it’s been years. Where the hell have you been? You just fucking disappeared off the face of the damn Earth, and now here you are!”
“Here I am,” Xie Lian repeated awkwardly, lifting a hand up to scratch his cheek.
Mu Qing’s eyes narrowed as he stared at Xie Lian, and he offered an awkward smile, which only brought a scoff from the other man.
“Give me the giftcard. I’ll go pay the clerk. Keep an eye on the boys.” Feng Xin handed the card over, and Mu Qing snatched it, sashaying away, only to stop after a few steps. “Thanks. And don’t bug him too much, Feng Xin.” Mu Qing didn’t look back at them. “Pretty sure he was just leaving.”
And on that note, Mu Qing entered the store.
“You have boys?” Xie Lian asked, breaking the awkward silence after the tinny chime from the bell above the door trailed off.
“Twins. Twin boys. We have babies,” Feng Xin said.
Xie Lian didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or cry at the awkward delivery. But he still edged closer to peek into the back of the jeep, awwing at the sight of the two car seats. “They’re precious, Feng Xin! And you and Mu Qing…?”
“Yeah.” Feng Xin gave a dopey grin, peering at the store. “Me and Mu Qing. We… ah… got together after you disappeared. Took a fucking while, but… yeah.”
“I’m so happy for you!” Xie Lian said, voice full of sincerity.
“What happened to you? Where the hell did you go?” Feng Xin repeated the question. “One second, you’re telling me to fuck off, and the next you’re gone. I know your parents… y’know, but… I would have been there for you.”
“I know.”
“So, why didn’t you—?”
Xie Liah sighed. “It’s a long story, and maybe I’ll tell you some time, but… not right now. I mean, you need to get gas and get your babies out of the cold. And, apparently, get your wallet.”
Feng Xin snorted. “Yeah, I guess so… can I give you my number, though? So we can catch up and shit?”
Xie Lian hesitated. He wasn’t sure what caused it. Or why. But his gaze shifted to the convenience store where he caught Mu Qing’s head rapidly turning away, bringing a smile to his face. Maybe it wasn’t too late to mend old bridges… even if he had let the wood rot for a little too long.
“Sure, I’d like that — do you have a pen?”
—
Pulling into the parking area next to the dumpster behind Ghost City Bazaar, Xie Lian had a smile on his face. He hadn’t had such a good day in ages. Sure, he hadn’t spent it volunteering or donating money at the Children’s Hospital like he had when he was younger. And there hadn’t been a feast followed by piles of gifts, but it was much more fulfilling to see the way his friends reacted to the simple things.
The blanket. The snood. The giftcard. Reuniting with old friends… complete with the promise of what could be a more meaningful connection.
It felt like a dream. Maybe it was. Maybe he would wake up tomorrow to realize it had all been a dream of what Christmas could be, but Xie Lian really hoped not. This Christmas day had been far better than any plan Xie Lian could have come up with himself.
Even if Feng Xin had laughed at him, a full barking belly laugh, for still owning a brick for a cell phone, which had (inconveniently) died on him earlier in the day, it still felt really good. It was nice to know the friends he had left behind were doing so well, and even if Xie Lian hadn’t explained his situation in its entirety, it was nice to reconnect. He wasn’t sure if he would call Feng Xin, but it was nice to see them — and their beautiful babies.
The internal seesawing on what he would do with the number raged in the back of his mind and in his heart as Xie Lian slid into his spot before he shifted into park. He didn’t have to know what he wanted to do now. He would figure it out later.
Nothing was going to rob him of his smile tonight, not after everything.
Killing the engine, Xie Lian made quick work of winding his way around the driver seat so that he could begin to pull out all of his winterizing gear for the van and ready his home-on-wheels for the night. Insulation and blocking elements went up quickly along the interior as Xie Lian hummed one of the carols he had heard on the radio off and on all day.
What fun earworms!
Popping out of the van, he did his best to make quick work of arranging the back for sleep rather than transport. Pillows. Blankets. His bed set up came together quickly with the cool air seeping in (hence his need to rush). It would have been better if he’d gotten here before it started to get dark, but, well, it got dark so early these days, and Xie Lian had things to do.
Satisfied, he climbed in and slammed the back doors shut behind him, shivering as he tried to escape the outside cold. He pressed down on the locks before he covered the windows last — and hopefully better than the night before. He plugged his dead phone into the charging port as he clicked on the interior lights, giving his home a soft ambient amber glow. Then, he uncapped the storage tote and pulled out his kettle, so he could get some water on for his dinner of instant noodles.
As he waited for his water to boil, he snuggled back under his blankets, trying to recall what it felt like to be warm. He really needed to figure out a better configuration to store his supplies so everything didn’t need to be moved for him to pull anything out. He stared at his kettle, something knocking at the back of his brain. He’d forgotten something. Something important.
Oh, crap! Xie Lian internally cursed and groaned as his eyes slid over to the blue tub barely peeking out from under a mountain of other items. He’d forgotten to put the covering on his windshield to protect it from the ice and snow, the same thing he forgot to do every night. And, of course, he only realized once he was comfortable and snug. God, he really needed to figure out the better way to organize this, sooner rather than later. He sighed — and then his entire body went on edge.
A sound — light, but definitely near the back of the van.
Creeping toward the door, Xie Lian peeled back the edge of the insulating reflector he used to block out the outside world to peek out. He prayed he wouldn’t see eyes looking back at him, and apparently luck was willing to grant him just that much.
Or maybe it had nothing to do with him at all. The man in red, the same one from earlier, approached from the entrance of the alley. The sound Xie Lian had heard, he realized, was the jingling of his silver jewelry with every step.
It was a sound he’d heard many times before, but he never knew it belonged to someone instead of the simple ambiance of the night (after all he knew some people nearby hadn’t taken their windchimes inside). As the figure stepped past a security light attached to the building, Xie Lian was graced with the visage of the most gorgeous man he had ever had the pleasure of setting his eyes on.
The quick flash earlier had done him no justice, and Xie Lian wondered anew why he had run off like that? He only wanted to speak with him. Would he run now? The homeless man was almost certain of it.
Maybe it was sneaky. Maybe it was wrong. Maybe he should have let the man be anonymous, but instead, Xie Lian slipped to the front of the van. He carefully pulled the lock undone slowly in an attempt to muffle it. After that was accomplished, he slinked out of the driver’s side door and tiptoed around Rouye where he could see the smallest hint of black boot from a quick peek beneath the van. The stranger had just reached his bumper — and was now loitering.
What was he doing?
Edging closer, Xie Lian did his best to resist the urge to make himself obvious or peek around the vehicle again. He heard the distinct sound of plastic rustling, and fearful that he was about to take off, Xie Lian surged forward the rest of the way — and promptly tripped over a rock he hadn’t seen. He let out a surprised yelp and closed his eyes in preparation of hitting the pavement beneath him.
Only to crash into a very broad, warm chest instead. The sound of styrofoam bursting open echoed his oomph.
Well, that was more like his usual luck. Strong sturdy hands settled on his sides, steadying him. And as Xie Lian looked up from where he face-planted, he finally got an up close and in-depth look at the mysterious gifter.
The man was a vision. Nobody could craft a more attractive Adonis. Doe eyes stared into a singular intense iris paired with an eyepatch over the other eye, settled beneath a jet black widow’s peak and brows, jade complexion, and a straight nose above attractively curved, plump lips. Wetting his own, Xie Lian felt a sudden flood of heat to his face.
“I—”
“Are you all right?” the man interrupted.
Xie Lian chuckled. Awkwardly. “Ahahahah — I’m so clumsy. And I have the worst luck. I didn’t mean to stumble into you. Or startle you that badly.”
The man gave a small grin. “It’s all right.”
His hands lingered, and Xie Lian found he wasn’t in a real rush to extricate himself just yet.
“I did want to catch you before you left… this time.”
That sole eye blinked. The man in red looked down, guilt apparent on his face. “I suppose you’ve caught me, then. What will you do with me now?
“Oh!” Xie Lian blushed. “Nothing, I just — I appreciated your gifts today. They were so kind and thoughtful, and you have no idea how much they meant. And really, I haven’t caught you so much as you have me… ahahha.”
Xie Lian dissolved into nervous laughter as he gave the very solid chest a push back to separate from the insanely attractive man. The man’s eyebrow quirked. A smile of sorts was written on his lips, but it didn’t quite reach his eye. It made Xie Lian want to reach up and smooth out the cheekbone to help him release whatever tension held him back, but that was utterly and completely ridiculous!
“But you—”
“What were you doing—?”
They both spoke at the same time, and Xie Lian bit back a smile. He gestured toward the man who hefted a sigh. What could have such a handsome man so forlorn?
“Gege first, I insist,” the man said firmly.
Xie Lian fought back the blush creeping up his neck and cheeks anew. He felt as if this could become a problem — a permanent state — if he weren’t careful. The purr alone made it hard not to feel blood flood… certain places.
Mainly his face, of course.
“What were you doing? Don’t you think that you’ve already gone above and beyond for the season?” Xie Lian steeled himself against the flush in his face to ask the question lingering in his mind. He could understand paying it forward. He could even understand how one could become overtaken by the spirit of the season. But what he couldn’t quite wrap his head around was why the beautiful man was still trying to do anything. “What were you leaving now?”
“That’s more than one question,” the man purred.
“Oh… ahahahaa… so it is….” Xie Lian lifted a hand to scratch at his cheek sheepishly. “I suppose I am feeling very curious.”
“I don’t mind,” he clarified before he looked down.
Xie Lian’s gaze followed as he finally noticed the Chinese takeout that had burst from their containers, splattering on the pavement after the man had seemingly dropped the bag. Xie Lian practically whimpered in sadness at the sight. Only then did he realize what this man had been doing.
He’d been leaving a full dinner?!
“I brought Gege food,” he answered. “But now it’s ruined—”
“No, it’s not! I think there’s some that probably hasn’t touched the gravel and pavement!” Xie Lian reassured him. “There’s plenty in the bag, and honestly, dirt has some nutrients—!”
“Please don’t try and eat that off the ground,” the man spoke in a low, slow voice that stopped Xie Lian in his tracks.
Why did he look sad — and was that worry?
“I wouldn’t want it to go to waste,” Xie Lian tried. “Honestly, you’ve already done too much—”
“But you gave it all away.”
The statement, so plain and quiet, jarred Xie Lian. His eyes lifted from the noodles spilling out of the bag. He’d been half a second from reaching down to pick the bag up, show the handsome man how much he could salvage (while figuring that perhaps he could scoop the rest up when he wasn’t looking or as he walked away satisfied). He didn’t expect this.
“Other people needed some of those things more than I did,” Xie Lian explained, his voice small and quiet. “You gave me those things, and then I was able to take care of some of the people that mean the most to me. I’m so grateful for the gifts — I hope you believe me when I tell you that.”
He nodded but didn’t respond. Xie Lian didn’t know what to say. A part of him felt bad for the hurt caused by his re-gifting, but it had made so much more sense at the time. He was curious as to how the beautiful man knew what he’d done.
He could speculate all night. Perhaps he saw Ban Yue wearing the snood and assumed. If so, he’d done so correctly. He probably wouldn't have done anything differently, but he certainly didn't want to seem ungrateful or uncaring. With a deep sigh, he leaned down to reach for the fallen bag only to feel a sturdy hand envelop his wrist.
Xie Lian looked up at the man.
“Please don’t worry about that right now,” the handsome stranger said.
“At least let me clean it up,” Xie Lian pled. He knew begging was unbecoming of him, but he couldn’t stop the pout forming on his face. “I don’t want the manager of the Bazaar to tell me I can’t park here anymore.”
Plus, he hated to see the food go to waste.
“He’d never do anything of the sort,” the man said confidently.
“And how do you know?” Xie Lian posed almost defiantly.
He pulled his wrist free. Crouching down, he swept up the bag and used his free hand to shovel the noodles back into the sack.
It was a mess — a mess that was quickly snatched from him.
“Because this one would be forced to fire him for doing something so ridiculous.” The deep voice carried through the air even as the man strode toward the dumpster, taking only a few steps with his long legs to reach his destination, where he deposited the fallen takeout.
Xie Lian didn’t know whether he wanted to sob or screech with maniacal laughter.
“ You’re Chengzhu?” Xie Lian breathed out.
“I much prefer Hua Cheng,” he purred.
“Hua Cheng…” Xie Lian repeated.
“No, that won’t do.” He seemed to change his mind. “San Lang.”
“San Lang?”
“Yes, I like that much better, Gege,” he confirmed with a smirk pulling at his mouth.
Butterflies fluttered in Xie Lian’s stomach. Miraculous butterflies that could apparently do all sorts of gymnastics. Xie Lian didn’t know what to make of the look on his face, nor did he know how to respond, but his cheeks felt hot the longer he remained under his stare. His body wanted to respond even as he stood there, blinking and stupefied.
This man owed him nothing. In fact, he’d already done more than enough by telling the manager to allow him to park here. He shouldn’t have gotten him anything, but he had. Xie Lian felt beyond touched. He also felt acutely perceived as that one-eyed gaze followed his every move.
“San Lang—”
“Yes?” he hummed.
“Don’t tease,” Xie Lian spoke before he could talk himself out of it. “Why did you get me anything? You’ve already done more than enough by not having me chased out of here and letting me park.”
The man shrugged, and Xie Lian waited with baited breath for a response. Surely he had one. Xie Lian yearned to know the answer.
“Well, Gege’s belly isn’t full from dinner like I’d intended,” he said instead.
“I scared you. It’s my fault that it went to waste,” Xie Lian said.
It really was such a pity, because the food had looked so good. He wondered how it had landed in the dumpster idly. Perhaps it would be retrievable — once Hua Cheng was no longer watching him.
“Clearly I startled you,” Hua Cheng dismissed. “Let this one try again?”
“San Lang, it’s too much,” Xie Lian replied immediately. Hua Cheng certainly didn’t look convinced by the homeless man’s words. It was almost comical. “Especially when it’s so onesided. I couldn’t possibly let you.”
Hua Cheng, in his lovely red coat, quality black jeans, and black boots made from real leather that provided wonderful support (especially given he ran in them earlier), was everything that Xie Lian was not anymore. He was rich. He was clearly kind. Giving. Xie Lian didn’t want the man to feel as if he had done anything wrong.
The desire to eat the noodles out of the dumpster bubbled up stronger than ever — even with Hua Cheng’s disgust from before — if only to be able to show him how grateful he was for the mere thought. It was silly. It was a step so low, Xie Lian knew he should feel ashamed. He didn’t know what he was thinking. He was clearly losing his mind.
He didn’t even know this man, and yet he wanted to see that smile pulling at the corners of his handsome mouth. Just not at more monetary expense. Not after everything.
But he had nothing to give to make that happen.
“Thank you for everything, San Lang,” Xie Lian said with a small bow, trying to smile despite his sadness. He hated cutting off extra time with the mysterious stranger, though he’d be hard-pressed to explain it. He’d only be setting himself up for further disappointment if he allowed himself to indulge this fairytale any longer. “You made my Christmas wonderful, but I should get my van set up for the night and settle in before it gets too much colder.”
Xie Lian turned to head back toward his van, trying to recall what he’d been about to do when Hua Cheng caught his eye.
“My Christmas wasn’t wonderful.”
Xie Lian froze. He looked back at Hua Cheng with a concerned pout. “San Lang, I’m sorry—”
“There is something that Gege could do, since you mentioned that it was one-sided,” Hua Cheng continued. “There is something that this one wants — and before Gege says anything, it’s not something out of your capabilities to give.”
Xie Lian felt drawn in. The words, from anyone else, might raise his hackles. But something about the way Hua Cheng said them, something about the hopeful twinkle in his eye told him there was nothing to worry about. And then there was the gut instinct that he felt — the one that told him that he could trust this man no matter what. He wouldn’t harm him. In fact, he had gone out of his way to help him, to buy him gifts, to provide things that he thought would make his life easier.
And Xie Lian had given them all away.
Maybe that was the final straw — the thing that made Xie Lian sigh and give a little nod. “What is it, San Lang?”
“Come inside and have dinner with me?” Hua Cheng asked, holding his hand out.
Xie Lian was floored. He didn’t know what to say. He… felt flattered. And the draw was stronger than anything that Xie Lian had experienced in so long. Still, a wry smile half pulled at his mouth as he sighed, looking at the wonder of Ghost City Bazaar as he contemplated his answer.
“San Lang, that sounds like a thinly veiled way for you to spend more money on me — to buy me more dinner,” he pointed out with some amusement.
“But, Gege, your company — sharing a meal with you — would make my Christmas wonderful,” Hua Cheng said, and his voice seemed sincere. His hand didn’t waver. His eye remained locked on Xie Lian. “And it would finally allow this one to give you something that is just for you and not shared with anyone else…”
“San Lang,” Xie Lian breathed. Why this man wanted to spend any time with him he had no idea, but he truly didn’t want to resist. “Why?”
“Why not?” Hua Cheng grinned.
“That’s not an answer,” Xie Lian said.
“Well, perhaps I’ll come up with a better one inside where it’s warm.” Hua Cheng held his hand up a little higher.
Xie Lian laughed, unable to hold it in any longer, before he began to reach out — only to stop so he could wipe his hands off on his pants, cleaning off any remnants of noodle — before he took the hand offered to him. Why? He couldn’t explain it even if asked. But it felt nice, the idea that someone wanted to spend time with him. Spending more time with the man in front of him seemed like a wonderful gift he didn’t deserve, but he’d been giving all day. Perhaps it was okay to be greedy now.
Christmas was almost over, after all.
“All right, but San Lang has to tell this one why he let me park in his lot — I hear that you have turned others away.”
Grinning, the tall, dark, and handsome man gave a gentle tug toward the employee entrance of Ghost City Bazaar. Xie Lian willingly followed. As he opened the door and held it open, like a gentleman, Hua Cheng leaned down and caused Xie Lian to pause. “I’d better order dessert. I think it may be a bit of a long story.”
“Well, I’m not going anywhere,” Xie Lian whispered, looking up at the other man as he felt hot despite the frigid winter air.
Hua Cheng grinned impishly. “Merry Christmas to me.”
“San Lang!”
Xie Lian ducked his head and stepped into the building, feeling the warm air wafting over him immediately.
He didn’t know why he agreed. He didn’t know why he felt so comfortable with Hua Cheng. He didn’t know why he felt compelled to do this. But he had a good feeling that he wouldn't regret this decision. In fact, he had the bizarre sensation that everything was about to change, but he couldn’t explain why.
Maybe it was the prospect of a hot meal, or perhaps the feeling of being able to bask in artificial warmth for a couple of hours, but either way — scare and all — this had been the best Christmas Xie Lian never asked for. And he would enjoy every minute of it while it lasted.